And Along Came
MaryAnn - Part 1
By
(half.tilt@verizon.net)
April 2003
Revised:
March 2004
Disclaimer: I do not own the Cartwright characters but
they do linger in my mind, readily available whenever I choose to imagine. My thanks to David Dortort
for creating the Cartwright family.
I do claim MaryAnn Archer as she is described in this story. She is my invention and she is worthy of my
need to keep her safe.
Grinning happily, Adam galloped home from
school and dismounted from his horse in front of the barn. It had rained all the way home and he was
drenched. He barely noticed. He had ridden home at a faster pace than Pa
would consider safe for such sloppy weather but Adam needed to stay far ahead
of Hoss. He didn’t want to put up with
any probing questions from his middle brother.
Adam Cartwright, barely 17 years old, had a couple of pleasant thoughts
chasing each other around in his mind and he didn’t want those thoughts to be
interrupted.
He quickly glanced toward the house and
then around the yard area but saw neither his Pa nor Little Joe, his youngest
brother. So far, so
good. His mouth kept twitching
itself into a grin and he kept trying to poker it up as he entered the barn to
bed down his horse. He didn’t want any
of his family noticing how happy he was.
Oh, they would think it was great that he was happy all right, but Adam
didn’t want to talk to anybody right now.
And he didn’t want Pa asking him any questions either.
After so many years of hardship, things were finally starting to ease a
little for Adam. He had not had an easy
childhood. He had never known his own
mother as she had died within hours of giving birth to him. From the time he was young enough to notice,
he hungered for a mother and almost instantly found himself loving the woman
who would become his father’s second wife and mother to his brother, Hoss. Inger loved Adam as if he were her own son,
but soon she too was torn from his young life when she was killed by
Indians. Adam then made a vow to himself
that he would never again have need for another mother.
Adam hardened his young heart when Pa had
unexpectedly married Marie and brought her home to meet his two young
sons. But, after Little Joe was born,
Adam found himself not only loving his newest brother but also letting his
guard down enough for Little Joe’s mother to creep into his heart.
But life is uncertain and Marie was killed
when she took a fall from her horse.
After Marie died, Ben sank into a state of depression so overwhelming
that he seemed to no longer care about what happened to himself, his sons, or
his ranch. Still only a child himself,
Adam assumed the nearly impossible task of filling in for his Pa.
Only Adam’s caring nature and his stubborn
unwillingness to quit kept his family and the ranch together. This was a bewildering time for Adam because
he never knew from one day to the next when, or even if, his father would start
noticing that his children needed him.
Out of necessity and out of love, Adam became a substitute father for
both of his two younger brothers.
Someday, a more mature Adam Cartwright
would look back on this dark period in his life and he would come to understand
just how much a friend's observation of Adam's reaction to the events of this
sad and confusing time would forever change the direction of his life. But that knowledge would come far in his
future.
Ben had gradually come out of his
depression and now was once again strong and in control of his own and of each
of his son’s lives.
Some of the hardships in Adam’s life had
eased, but now new problems kept cropping up.
One moment, he was grateful that his father was once again well and in
command and Adam could now go back to a more normal and a less worrisome
adolescence. The next moment, Adam
resented Ben for not treating him like the adult that Adam sometimes liked to
think he was.
It was Adam’s opinion that he was perfectly
capable of making his own decisions for himself. With Adam barely 17 years old, Ben didn’t see
it that way. Ben deeply loved all three
of his sons and he was determined to raise them in the manner that he perceived
would set them on the path to becoming the adults he would always be proud
of. Although Ben Cartwright was a kind
man capable of great tenderness, he also possessed a formidable presence of
mind about him that all three of his sons had learned at a young age to
respect.
As Adam now headed into the barn to stable
his horse, he was glad to see that neither his father nor Little Joe was in the
barn. He concluded that they both must
be in the house. Today was one of those
days that Adam didn’t want to talk to anyone that he didn’t have to and he
certainly wasn’t in the mood for responsibilities either. He just wanted to be by himself so he could
think about MaryAnn.
There wasn’t much chance that was going to
happen. Before Adam could even begin to
rub down his horse after stripping off the saddle, Hoss walked into the barn.
Hoss was put out because Adam hadn’t waited
up for him on the ride home from school.
Hoss felt like he had ridden home all alone, which was exactly the
case. He had been kept after school for
about half an hour because he couldn’t get two arithmetic problems done
correctly and had to stay late in order to do them over.
By the time Hoss finally got the arithmetic
problems done correctly, he figured that Adam would be long gone even though
Adam was supposed to wait for him. As
Hoss exited the school house, he glanced up and was surprised to see Adam
leaning against the short wall of the shelter the school maintained for the
out-of-town students to stable their horses.
What surprised Hoss even more was that Adam was standing very close to
MaryAnn Archer. They were talking quietly
and they both jumped a little when they spotted Hoss coming toward them.
After saying a quick goodbye to MaryAnn,
Adam never even glanced at Hoss as he jumped on his already-saddled horse and
took off without even waiting for Hoss to saddle up. That seemed pretty damned rude to Hoss but he
held his anger in check long enough to say a friendly goodbye to MaryAnn.
Hoss had always thought that MaryAnn was
nice. She was a year younger than
Adam. Some of the kids in school were
unkind to Hoss and teased him about his large size, but MaryAnn had never done
that. Ever since MaryAnn had come along
into their lives, she had always been as nice to him as she was to Adam.
Actually, MaryAnn hadn’t just “come along”
into their lives recently. In fact, Hoss
could hardly remember ever not knowing her.
Her father, Jim Archer, had a sizeable ranch adjacent to one of the
boundaries of the Ponderosa. He and his
two daughters lived in a large and comfortable house there. Mr. Archer was a tall, well-built man with a
pleasing laugh and a calm, forthright demeanor.
Hoss didn’t know why MaryAnn didn’t have a
ma around but he didn’t think much about that because he didn’t have a ma
himself. Hoss knew he didn’t much like
her older sister, Lizzie, though. When
no adults were around to hear them say it, Hoss, Adam, and MaryAnn had always
called her sister Prissy Lizzie or sometimes just Miss Priss. Lizzie was two years older than MaryAnn and
was all Miss Manners and frills. Not
at all like MaryAnn, Hoss thought.
Hoss was a very good-natured boy and really
wasn’t so mad at Adam any more. The ride
home had been long enough that he had pretty much cooled off.
“So, what did MaryAnn have ta
say? You two looked like ya was talkin’ secrets or somethin’.”
Adam whirled on Hoss and practically
shouted, “We were not!
Besides, whatever I say to anybody is my own damned
business. Not yours. And don’t you be saying anything to anybody
about what I say or do, you hear me?”
Adam had been using swear words for some
time now. He had been thinking them for
longer than he had been saying them.
Most of his friends swore, especially those who no longer went to school
and either had jobs or helped work their father’s ranches. How could he expect Pa to start treating him
like a man if he didn’t start acting like one?
Still, Adam was careful not to do this within earshot of Pa yet. He hadn’t quite worked up enough courage for
that. He planned to do that soon but not
today anyway.
Hoss looked startled by Adam’s harsh response.
“You better stop swearin’,
Adam, or I just might tell Pa on ya. I
don’t know why yer so worked up anyway.
MaryAnn, Lizzie, and their pa have been coming over here to visit since
forever so why’re ya acting so strange about talkin’ to her now?”
If Adam had wanted to explain
it to Hoss, which he did not, he
wasn’t sure if he could have explained it.
Straight thinking, logical, no-gray-areas Adam Cartwright was a bit
confused. Thoughts of MaryAnn kept
popping unbidden into his mind. And once
he started thinking about her, he couldn’t get his mind back to where it was
before he started thinking about her.
Almost immediately, Adam felt sorry for
making his little brother feel bad. It
wasn’t Hoss’s fault. Hoss had just never
understood that Adam didn’t share his need to talk about every single thing
that popped into his head. Particularly not these
thoughts. Adam went over and
draped his arm over Hoss’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Hoss. It isn’t your fault. I guess I was just thinking about something
else. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
Instantly, all was forgiven and they both
worked quickly to finish their chores before supper.
Supper at the Cartwright home was usually a
lively affair, with both Little Joe and Hoss constantly jabbering away and Adam
putting in his two cents worth every now and then. Tonight was no exception. Adam, however, was unusually quiet; he kept
his head down and didn’t join in the conversation at all.
“Adam? ADAM!
Look at me.” Adam
jumped, knocking all the peas off of his fork.
He wondered how long Pa had been talking to him.
“What’s wrong with you? I asked
you a question.”
“Sorry,
“I
asked if you thought we could get the corral fixed before Sunday. Mr. Archer and his girls are coming over for
a visit after we get home from church on Sunday and they’ll be able to stay
late enough to have supper with us.”
Adam started to answer to the affirmative,
but he had been forgetting how to breathe lately. He inhaled too quickly and choked on the
half-chewed biscuit in his mouth. Crumbs
spewed out of his mouth and sprayed across the table. Hoss quickly handed him a glass of water, Ben
got up, crossed to the other end of the table and started pounding on his son’s
back. Little Joe gave Adam a look of
unconcealed disgust and thought, And you complain about MY table manners. That’s YOUR spit all over the table, ya know.
When Adam had recovered a little, he
squeaked out an assurance to his father that there should be enough time to
repair the corral by then.
Ben went back to his own chair before
speaking again, “That Jim sure is a
good man. I appreciated him helping us
out as much as he was able to after…after Marie…after Marie…” Ben let his sentence trail off
unfinished. “It will be good to get back
to playing chess with him again.”
Adam had already heard from MaryAnn that
she and her family would be coming over to the Ponderosa on Sunday. He had been able to think of little else.
Adam asked to be excused from the
table. He picked up his book that he had
placed on the corner of the dining table near his plate and headed for the blue
velvet chair to the right of the mammoth fireplace. As he walked, he glanced back over his
shoulder toward his father to make sure that Ben’s attention was no longer
focused on him. He found his father
still watching him with a somewhat concerned look.
Adam then felt a sharp bang on his left
shin as his leg hit the low coffee table.
He pitched forward and found himself sprawled face down across the low
table. His book flew out of his hand,
the checkerboard slammed into the settee, and all of the little black and red
checkers escaped onto the floor and skittered in all directions.
“Shit," Adam muttered under his breath. “Oops,” he said out loud.
Hoss’s eyes flew open in surprise when he saw Adam go down. Besides forgetting how to breathe lately, it
seemed his suave older brother had also lost his ability to walk. An already-alert Ben jumped up immediately to
make sure his son was not injured.
Little Joe sat back in his chair, rolled his eyes skyward, and thought, And YOU yell at ME to
slow down. I could ride a horse in the
space between the table and the settee and you can’t even walk through there
without tipping over. Geeez.
Out of the corner of his eye, Adam spotted
his father’s hand moving toward the direction of his forehead to check his
temperature. a-a-r-r-g-g-h-h, Adam thought as he moved his head out of reach. “I’m not sick,” he said a little too
forcefully. He quickly added in a more
normal tone, “I’m fine. I’m…I’m fine.”
Adam hurriedly picked up the scattered
items, retrieved his book, and slumped down safely into his blue velvet
chair. Rubbing his sore leg, he tried to
ignore the hot flush of embarrassment he knew was visible to his family.
He had been trying to read that book for
over a month now but his mind just couldn’t seem to settle enough for him to
get it read. Tonight was no better. He kept reading, but it was the same
paragraph over and over. About an hour
later, he finally gave up any pretense and just stared off into space.
He thought about MaryAnn. He couldn’t figure out why. He, Hoss, Lizzie, and MaryAnn had known each
other for years and had played all kinds of kid games when they were
younger. He had always thought she was
fun to be around but…MaryAnn was just MaryAnn.
Adam’s thoughts briefly thudded on
MaryAnn’s older sister, Lizzie. He had
nothing but distain for her. He was
mannerly to her but only because he would suffer ramifications from his father
if he were not. Lizzie was a year older
than Adam but she might as well have been 20 years older. Good lord was she stuffy! And she spoke in that irritatingly ‘social’
voice of hers, completely devoid of sincerity.
Here they were in virtual wilderness and every time Miss Priss said
something to him, Adam had the insane urge to look back over his shoulder to
see just who the hell she was trying to impress. And what a Miss Priss she was with her frilly
dresses and her high-buttoned shoes.
Adam couldn’t recall ever seeing MaryAnn’s
sister with so much as a smudge on her face.
Well, there was that one time,
years ago, when they all had been playing at the Archer’s ranch one
afternoon. In abject frustration at
Lizzie’s shrill insistence that MaryAnn, Adam, and Hoss make mud pies with her,
MaryAnn and Adam ended up slinging mud balls at her until there wasn’t a
spot on her that wasn’t peppered with mud.
Hoss had just stood there watching with an unbelieving look on his
face. Adam’s only regret over that
incident was that Mr. Archer came around the side of the barn and caught both
MaryAnn and Adam in the process of scooping up even more mud to throw at Miss
Priss.
Without even asking who started it, Mr.
Archer strode over to MaryAnn and Adam, grabbed each of them by the arm, walked
them both into the barn, then promptly spanked first MaryAnn and then
Adam. Adam was shocked. It was his opinion that nobody was allowed to
spank him but his own pa. At the time,
he didn’t know that Ben Cartwright and Jim Archer had an understanding between
them. Ben and Jim trusted each other
almost immediately after they first met and had agreed that if any of their
children misbehaved while at either of their homes, the parent in residence
would take care of the problem.
That was the first time that Adam and
MaryAnn had gotten into trouble but it wasn’t to be the last.
Adam’s mouth quirked into a grin as his
thoughts settled back on MaryAnn.
MaryAnn was nothing like her sister.
Where her sister couldn’t make a move without taking a poll first,
MaryAnn was pretty much ready to do anything at a mere suggestion, often her
own, as long as it was reasonably sane.
She was also perfectly capable of stretching the definition of
reasonable.
Adam tried hard not to laugh out loud as he
sat there in his blue chair and suddenly remembered the time that MaryAnn had
unexpectedly come upon Hoss and him swimming in the lake. He could even remember how hot and dry he had
been earlier that day and how cool and refreshing the water had first felt on
his bare skin. The details of that day
were so vivid in Adam’s mind that it seemed like it had happened only
yesterday.
**********
MaryAnn
had ridden her horse right up to their discarded clothes lying there on the
ground by the lake then started laughing when she noticed Adam and Hoss
desperately trying to get into deeper water.
Then, to their complete horror, it looked as though she was going to
join them.
Getting out of cumbersome clothes was no
problem for MaryAnn because she was rarely ever seen in anything except jeans,
an old shirt, and boots. Using her horse
as a shield between herself and the boys, she had all of her clothes and
underwear off in record time. It was a
short horse and MaryAnn had incredibly long legs at a very early age so, try as
Adam did to see some things he was curious about, he was mildly disappointed.
After stripping, MaryAnn placed first one
long arm then the other long arm back into her long, oversized, cotton shirt
and buttoned up. She briefly glanced
down once, was satisfied that she was decent enough, then plunged into the
water and started swimming directly toward the boys.
Hoss was horrified. He kept glancing at Adam, waiting for Adam to
yell at her to go away. To his
amazement, Adam was silent. Adam just kept
dogpaddling and never shifted his gaze from MaryAnn at all. Even though Hoss liked MaryAnn, he thought it
was damned rude of her to just try to join them.
Hoss hissed at Adam, “Do something!”
Adam never even glanced his way, “Like
what?”
Hoss finally realized that any action taken
was going to be up to him alone so he furiously yelled, “Go away, MaryAnn! Nobody and I mean nobody asked you to
come along.”
To Hoss’s complete consternation, MaryAnn
never even broke stride.
Hoss was sputtering and gulping great
mouthfuls of water as he tried to move further away as MaryAnn closed the
distance between them. Hoss couldn’t swim very well anyway and now his efforts
were even less spectacular because he didn’t want MaryAnn to see him naked.
Hoss managed to half-swim and
half-dogpaddle away from Adam, parallel to the shore. He then angled slightly inwards toward the
shore. He finally struggled close enough
to shore so his feet could touch bottom, then he just stood there with the
water lapping at his neck. Adam briefly
glanced once in Hoss’s direction. He
figured Hoss had decided to wait out the situation over there in his new
location.
Adam didn’t know what to do either but he
wasn’t going to let MaryAnn know that.
He just stayed where he was, dogpaddling in place until MaryAnn came to
a halt right in front of him. He thought
about flipping himself onto his back thinking that might scare her off but he
couldn’t quite get up the courage to do that.
He wasn’t completely sure he wanted
to scare her off.
Adam and MaryAnn ended up in a bit of a
staring contest, neither of them brave enough to look anywhere except at each
other’s eyes. Still dogpaddling and
finding that she was running out of steam, MaryAnn finally came to the
realization that she had met her match.
Adam gave as good as he got. She giggled, broke eye contact, then quickly headed herself back to shore.
Adam watched closely as she once again used
her horse as a shield in order to get dressed but he still couldn’t see
anything that mattered. He didn’t know
it at the time but, not many years later, this would haunt him.
MaryAnn got dressed quickly, mounted her
horse, and called out to them.
“Adam
and Hoss, don’t either of you ever tell anyone
I did this.” She then
waved a friendly goodbye and rode off with her wet shirt plastered to her slim
angular body.
God, Adam thought, she sure is long.
He barely noticed her long, light-colored
red hair. He never noticed at all how it
fairly sparkled in the sun.
Adam and Hoss had lost interest in swimming
any more that day, but they stayed in the water a long time after watching
MaryAnn ride off. They both wanted to
make sure she was truly gone.
**********
Adam
came back to the present just as he heard Pa tell Little
Joe that he wasn’t going to tell him again that it was past his bedtime. On his way to the stairs, Little
Joe drifted over to the side of Adam’s chair.
He reached out his little hand and gently patted Adam on the arm.
“I sorry yer sick, Adam. I love ya.”
Adam’s eyes widened at the mournful tone of
Little Joe’s comment.
He gently pulled Little Joe around to stand
between his knees, then placed a soft, lingering kiss on the little forehead.
"I’m really not sick, little
buddy. I guess I’m, uh…just tired or
something. I love you, too."
Little Joe reluctantly dragged himself up
the stairs to bed. Adam wasn’t
interested in playing checkers with Hoss so Hoss decided to call it an early
night himself. Adam didn’t want to be
alone with Pa in case Pa decided to start asking him again what was wrong with
him. Since Adam had no answers that he
was willing to share, he also headed up the stairs to bed.
Shortly after Pa had made his nightly check
on each of his sons, all of the Cartwrights were fast asleep. Well, all but one. Adam couldn’t sleep. He lay on his back, with his arms crooked and
his long fingers intertwined behind his head.
His eyes were rounded in deep thought.
He kept thinking about MaryAnn and the lake. Several years after that incident, he now lay
in his bed wondering what she looked like under her clothes. Never having had another chance to see her
in a state of undress, it was hard to imagine exactly what she had
developed. Adam, however, was a bright
young lad with an active imagination. It
didn’t take him long to come up with some possibilities.
Adam continued to toss and turn. He simply couldn’t go to sleep. He lay there and his mind wandered back to a
few years ago when he had very carefully installed a simple lock on his bedroom
door. It was just a small wooden block
fastened with a screw to the doorjamb.
When the block of wood was twisted into position over the closed door,
it made a perfect lock. Nobody would be
able to enter without permission from Adam.
Adam had made and installed that lock after
Ben had given him a tanning for fighting at school. Since Adam had decked the bully only as a
last resort to stop the bully from hitting a smaller child, Adam felt that Ben
was wrong to punish him. Ben thought
that Adam should have come up with another way to solve the problem. Adam didn’t know why he thought he could get
away with putting a lock on his door the following day, but it seemed like a
good idea at the time. Wrong. As soon as Pa came home later that night, he
had made Adam get the screwdriver again and had towered over him while Adam dismantled
the lock and handed it to Pa.
Ben had eventually cited safety
considerations, such as a fire, as the reason why he wouldn’t allow Adam to
have a lock on his door. Even as he said
it though, they both knew that Ben would never allow himself to be in the
position of ever being denied entrance to one of his own son’s bedrooms.
Adam wasn’t sure if Ben even saw his sons
as individuals. Sometimes he thought
that his Pa saw all three of his sons as just extensions of himself. What was good for his Pa was automatically
good for his sons and Pa would make all of the decisions regarding their health
and welfare. Probably forever, it seemed
like to Adam.
For all of Adam’s life, he would never lose
his need to think situations through for himself until he came to an
understanding that made sense to him.
Tonight was no exception. Adam
wished he still had that lock on his bedroom door. He slipped out of bed and quietly went over
to make sure that his door was securely shut.
He then crawled back into bed. It
was just not in Adam’s nature to automatically accept everything he heard as
absolutely believable. One thing was
certain. He never believed any of those
stories about going blind.
The next morning, a well-rested and
whistling Adam rose bright and early to begin work on the corral. The rest of the week went by fairly quickly
and the corral repairs were finished in record time. Adam made sure of that.
Sunday arrived and all of the Cartwrights
went to church as they did nearly every Sunday of their lives. Usually it was Little
Joe who was fidgety in church but today he was an angel compared to Adam. After Ben finally reached across Little Joe and shook Adam’s knee none too gently, Adam
forced himself to sit quieter. That
lasted for about ten minutes before Adam started fidgeting again. An exasperated Ben pulled Little Joe to his
feet, pushed him sideways in front of Adam’s knees, and then sat him down on
the other side of Adam, thus forcing a mortified Adam to move into Joe’s spot
next to Ben. For once, Adam was glad
that the Archer family rarely attended church.
The Cartwrights had barely arrived home
from church when they saw Mr. Archer and his two daughters riding their horses
over the hill toward the Ponderosa. It
was easier and far faster for them to ride directly across the two connecting
properties to get to the Cartwright house, rather than go the much longer way
by using the roads.
While watching Mr. Archer dismount, it once
again struck Adam as incongruous to see his own tall father having to look up
to speak to the 6’6” tall Mr. Archer. It
was usually Ben who towered over everybody else they knew. MaryAnn was already a little taller than her
older sister and somehow that pleased Adam.
Adam had always been taught to be
respectful to his elders but, in Mr. Archer’s case, he was more than a little
respectful. As hard as Adam now was
trying to act like an adult, he still experienced a slight wariness whenever he
was near Mr. Archer. He really liked the
man, but the sheer height of Mr. Archer was daunting to any growing boy.
After eating Hop Sing’s dinner of chicken
and dumplings, everyone scattered to their favorite activities with Ben and Jim
retiring to Ben’s office to start a game of chess.
Little Joe’s friend, Mitch, had also been
invited for the afternoon because past experience proved to Ben that this was
the best way to keep his youngest son out of everyone else’s hair. Little Joe and Mitch ran outside and around
to the back of the house where they raucously started playing a game of tag.
Adam, Hoss, MaryAnn, and Lizzie wandered
out to the corral so Hoss could show off the latest addition to their ranch, a
newborn colt. They had to stay outside
the fenced area and couldn’t see the new baby very well because the nervous
mare kept moving between her baby and the onlookers.
Lizzie had brought crocheting yarn with her
from home and decided that she would rather go back in the house because it was
such a hot day. MaryAnn and Adam both
rolled their eyes skyward and a grateful look passed between them. There wasn’t much that Lizzie liked to do
except talk about people who weren’t around to defend themselves. She had very little imagination and besides
the world was such a dirty place.
Hoss eventually wondered off to the back of
the house to watch Little Joe and Mitch. Adam and MaryAnn decided it was a nice day
for a horseback ride. Adam ran into the
house to quickly get permission for them to be gone for a little while. He didn’t bother to mention that “we” did
not include Hoss. He then hurried back
to the barn to get the horses saddled up.
MaryAnn was just finishing saddling her
horse so she stood companionably near as Adam began to saddle his own
horse. There was a comfortable silence
between them. There always was.
Adam had noticed that lately MaryAnn seemed
to sometimes be watching him. MaryAnn
didn’t mean to but she found herself watching Adam often. She hoped no one had noticed. From the tip of his hat all the way down his
tall frame to the toes of his boots, MaryAnn was becoming increasingly aware of
Adam Cartwright.
For some inexplicable reason, the little
hollow just above Adam’s collarbone especially intrigued her. She had often wished that he would leave just
one more button of his shirt undone. She
wanted to move the opening of his shirt aside just a little more. She wanted to gently touch him there. She wanted to softly put her lips in that
little hollow. She wondered if there was
a small matching hollow below his collarbone as well—
Startled, MaryAnn suddenly looked up into
Adam’s dark eyes. When had he moved so
close? Adam slowly raised his hands
alongside MaryAnn and leaned his palms on the short wall of the stall behind
her, not quite touching her. This
effectively trapped MaryAnn, who didn’t mind one iota.
Adam slowly leaned in close toward MaryAnn
and bent his head slightly to one side.
MaryAnn's eyes were drawn to his mouth and she knew that he was going to
kiss her.
“You’re going to kiss me?” MaryAnn asked in a soft, shaky voice, tinged
with a hint of both apprehension and anticipation.
“Yes,” came Adam’s
husky reply.
“Uh…have
you ever kissed a girl before?” A slight
hint of curiosity showed in her voice.
“Shut up, MaryAnn,” Adam whispered softly just before his
lips gently brushed hers once, then again, then settled more firmly against her
lips with his mouth slightly open.
Being a quick study and forever curious by
nature, MaryAnn also opened her mouth a little.
She could feel the warmth and wetness of Adam’s tongue. Then she felt an odd, tingling sensation in
the palms of her hands. MaryAnn stood
very still, letting neither her hands nor her body touch him. She wanted nothing to distract her from this gentle, loving, and so welcome
kiss from Adam.
The kiss ended but Adam didn’t step away
from her. They stood close, not touching
but close, both a bit in awe.
“Goodness,
there is a God,” MaryAnn mumbled, her voice barely a
whisper and her breathing slightly quick and shallow.
“What?”
“Adam,
I don’t…want this…this moment to be...ruined by someone coming into the barn.”
“Neither
do I, MaryAnn,”
Adam said in a very low voice. He slowly
removed his hands from the wall behind her and lowered his arms to his
sides. He took a small, reluctant step backwards.
“Adam…wait. Would you just…not move for a minute and…and
not say anything? Please?"
Adam watched her eyes carefully, then
nodded. MaryAnn tentatively reached out
with her left hand. She slowly and
gently slipped open one more button at the top of Adam’s shirt. She softly brushed the edge of his shirtfront
ever so slightly to one side, just enough to expose his collarbone a little.
A faint smile played across her face and she quietly tugged his
shirtfront back into place. She looked
gratefully into his eyes. “I…I needed to
know.”
Needed
to know what? Adam wondered.
Adam noticed that he had forgotten to
breathe again so he inhaled quickly. He
took another slow step backward. He
started to turn away but then stopped.
“MaryAnn,
when did you grow so…pretty?” he
said in a slightly strained voice.
MaryAnn’s eyes met Adam’s, “I…I guess we
both have been growing, Adam.” She
didn’t voice her next thought, And when did you grow your kind eyes, and
your perfect nose, and your sweet mouth, and your broad shoulders, and your
narrow hips, and your long legs and why did it take so long for me to notice?
They never did go for that ride. They both left the barn and Hoss joined them
on the porch. The three of them sat
there quietly talking about nothing in particular until Mr. Archer declared
that it was past time for them to be getting on home again.
Later that night, Adam went upstairs to
retrieve his book. He planned to go back
downstairs to sit in his blue chair and try once again to get interested in the
story he was trying to read. When he
hadn’t come back down the stairs an hour later, Ben got curious and sent Little
Joe up to see why Adam hadn’t come back down to join them.
Little Joe found Adam in the hall. Adam wasn’t walking down the hall. He was just standing in the hall, leaning one
arm against the wall. After getting no
response the first time, Little Joe tugged on Adam’s
pant’s leg again.
“Adam, what’re ya doin’? Are ya too tired to walk? Want me to get Pa to help ya?”
Adam looked down, startled to see his
little brother’s face looking worriedly up at him.
“Sure I can walk. I was just thinking about something. Go ahead and I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Little Joe widened his eyes and thought, And yer supposed to be
the smart one? Can’t ya walk and think
at the same time? Who stops to think on
the way to somewhere else?
When Little Joe got downstairs, he told his
Pa and Hoss. “Adam’s okay. He’s just stuck in the hall.”
“Stuck?” said Pa, starting to rise from his
red chair, then changing his mind and sitting back down again.
Hoss looked nervously at Pa before heading
for the stairs himself. He didn’t know
what was wrong with his big brother but he was prepared to physically shake
Adam hard if that was what it was going to take to make him snap out of
whatever it was that was bothering him.
If Adam wasn’t sick, then he better start acting well and he better
start doing it fast. Adam had apparently
forgotten how quickly Pa would send for Dr. Martin if he thought any one of his
boys was getting sick.
Across the fields and over the hill,
happily ready to slip into slumber, MaryAnn suddenly remembered something that
she didn’t think was possible for her to forget.
With a sinking feeling in the pit of her
stomach, MaryAnn’s thoughts drifted back to the period of time after Little Joe’s mother had died. She remembered how hard things had been for
the Cartwrights after that. She remembered
how despondent Adam’s pa had been. She
remembered her own father going to the Ponderosa to help Adam out when Adam’s
own pa seemed unable to understand how terribly much his children needed him.
But most of all, MaryAnn remembered the
kind and caring way that Adam looked after his little brothers. As tired and as worried as he might be, she
remembered the look of soft delight on Adam’s face whenever five-year-old Little Joe would throw himself into Adam’s arms and would
hold on to Adam for dear life.
MaryAnn would not allow herself to cry.
Instead she gently chided herself. C’mon,
Worrywart, don’t you dare start feeling sorry for yourself. Adam and you both have long lives ahead of
you. You are a good, kind person and you deserve this joy. When the time comes, you will be strong
enough and you will love him enough to make yourself walk away from him. There will be time enough. Go to sleep.
It is way too soon to worry.
End of Part One