By:
Debbie B ;0)
Adam
stepped from the stagecoach and leaned down to dust the trail dirt from his
black trousers. Lifting his hat from his
head, he wiped the sweat from his brow and returned the Stetson to his head. There was no one present to meet him, but
then he hadn’t expected anyone, he hadn’t even wired his father that he was
returning. His family believed him to be
in
Slowly
Adam made his way to the livery stable to rent a horse for the long ride home.
He dreaded facing his family, especially his younger brother. It wasn’t a task he looked forward to, but it
was one that he knew he could not avoid.
Little Joe had been right, Sara had been no good, Joe had tried to tell
him and what had he done? Beat his
brother within an inch of his young life.
Adam cursed himself as he pictured Little Joe lying in a heap on the
floor of the barn that night over two months ago. His pounding fists had bloodied Joe’s face,
the gash over Joe’s left eye seeping the blood down his tear stained face as
the boy had begged him to stop. He had
grabbed his brother roughly by the shirt collar and slung him across the barn
and into the hard wooden half wall that divided the stalls. Hearing the cries of pain that had erupted
from his brother again sounding in his mind, Adam sighed deeply and wiped his
dark eyes to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks and glanced around to
be sure that no one had observed him. He
had to get home and make things right with his younger brother; he had to tell
Joe that he was sorry for the things that he had said and done to him but could
only pray that he would be forgiven.
Adam
paid the stable boy the rental for the horse and promised to have the mare
returned the next time he came into town.
Adam let his mind wander back to the night when he had stepped into the
barn and found his fiancée locked in a warm embrace with his brother. The couple’s lips were pressed firmly
together and Joe’s hands were devouring the beautiful woman’s body. As the memory flooded his thoughts, Adam
could now admit to himself that it had in fact been Sara’s hands that had been
pawing the young man’s body’s and Joe’s hands were only trying to stop her
assault of him.
Adam
cursed himself again for not having seen it in the making. The signs were everywhere, the way she had
smiled at the hired help, her flirting openly when the two of them were
together, just to watch his face and see his jealousy, her laughing and saying
it was only a joke. Even the way he had
seen her eyeball his father when she had thought no one had been watching. To think that he could have been so blinded
by her beauty, her sweet words, even the smell of her perfume had sent his head
to spinning. Then seeing her in Joe’s
arms, he had lost all sense of reality and had turned on the boy with the wrath
of a wounded grizzly.
Adam
felt himself cringe when he recalled the words he had screamed at his brother
as Joe laid in the ground at his feet.
Bastard, liar, cheat and that had only been the beginning of his verbal
assault, he had screamed how much that he had hated his brother, had wished the
boy had never been born. Adam was seeing
the look of total dejection that adorned the young face and Adam heard again his
own laughter when he realized that he had succeeded in hurting his little
brother in much the same way as he, himself had been hurt. He had turned and left the heartbroken boy
crying in the dirt with the promise that he would never forgive him, never call
him brother ever again and had shoved the barn door shut, leaving the lad to
fend for himself.
Adam
stopped as he neared the rise where he could look down and see the familiar
homestead. It had always been one of his
favorite spots; anytime of the year one could stop and take in the tranquil
scene below. Usually you could see one
or more of his family out and about the yard, going about their various chores
and this afternoon was no different.
Adam watched as his pa and Hoss carried something heavy into the
barn. Seconds later they emerged, Hoss
was laughing and Pa looked as if he were scolding. Adam stared on in amusement and briefly
wondered where his youngest brother might be. Hoss stopped and said something
to their father and Adam watched as the older man shook his head slowly and
walked toward the house. Adam noted the
way his father’s shoulders appeared to slump and his laggard walk reminded him
of that of an old man. Adam feared that
perhaps his father had been sick, but surely Hoss would have sent him a wire
notifying him if that had been true. Unable to wait any longer, Adam spurred
his mount forward and headed down the hill into the yard of his home.
Hoss
strolled out into the sunshine just as Adam rounded the corner of the barn and
stopped in his tracks at seeing his brother.
A wide gapped-toothed smile spread across his boyish face and the lights
danced their merriment in his sparkling blue eyes. Hoss closed the distance between himself and
his older brother in two long strides.
As Adam slid from the saddle he found himself engulfed in a tight bear
hug as Hoss held him up and spun him around in a circle.
“Adam,
dadburnit Big Brother, I cain’t believe my eyes! Dang, it’s good ta see ya!” laughed Hoss
finally releasing his hold on his brother.
Adam
laughed and straightened his hat on his head; “It’s good to see you too,
brother.”
“Pa! Pa!
Get out here quick,” yelled Hoss as he wrapped his large arm around
Adam’s shoulder and pulled him to him for a second hug. Adam wrapped his arm around Hoss’ neck and
returned the hug, the sudden need to feel the larger boy’s closeness and love
tugged at his troubled heart.
Ben
ran into the yard and stopped, he was having trouble believing what he was
seeing. His first born had
returned! “Adam, son…” Ben grabbed the
young man and pulled him to his chest and held him tightly, afraid that if he
let go, the boy would suddenly vanish.
Adam
felt himself go weak with relief the second his father touched him. He had been afraid of what his father might
say upon seeing him. When he left, he
had left in a hurry not taking time to make things right. He knew his father had been mad, no,
infuriated about what he had done to Little Joe, so he had chosen the easy way
out. He had left in the night leaving only
a weak apology written in a short note telling his father he was sorry and that
he would be in touch after he and Sara had gotten married. The hug that he was now receiving told him
that his father had forgiven his transgressions.
Ben
at last pulled back and looked at his oldest.
“Adam, I am glad to see you son.”
Ben swallowed the lump that popped into his throat. “I’m happy that you are home. How long are you planning on staying?” Ben
searched his son’s face and the fine little worry lines that creased Adam’s
handsome face were easily seen as his son fought for control of the emotions
that Ben could sense were struggling to burst forth.
Adam
cleared his throat and glanced at Hoss who stood next to his father waiting for
his answer. Adam returned his eyes to
his father’s face before speaking. “As
long as you will let me,” he replied quietly and hung his head, “that is, if
you even want me to stay.”
Ben’s
eyes opened wide in surprise, “Of course I want you to stay, this is still your
home, and I want you to stay for as long as you choose, but what about…what
about…Sara?” Ben saw the sadness that
suddenly filled Adam’s eyes.
“That
didn’t work out,
Ben
placed both hands on Adam’s shoulders and turned him around to face him as he
gathered Adam into his arms; one hand held the back of the boy’s neck as he
rubbed away the tension that had gathered.
Ben gently pulled Adam’s head down on his shoulder as he held him. Adam who had never been as open about showing
his affection as his brothers were, allowed his head to remain for several
seconds before withdrawing. He made no
effort to hide his tears from his father nor his middle brother, his heart
craving their forgiveness. When Adam
looked again into the two pair of eyes that watched him he found what he had
prayed he would find upon his arrival home, unconditional love and complete
forgiveness.
“Pa? Where’s Little Joe? I have to make things right between us.” Adam asked and watched as his father
exchanged worried looks with Hoss.
“Joe’s
not here, son.” Ben began. “He…went away shortly after you left.”
“Went
away? To where?” asked Adam,
disappointment showing on his handsome face.
“We
don’t rightly know, Adam. We ain’t heard
from him since he left.” Hoss informed
his brother sadly.
“Nothing?” Adam saw the worry lines on his father’s face
and knew now that his leaving, the argument between himself and Joe and then
Joe’s leaving had left his father growing old too quickly.
“Let’s
go into the house son. We’ll tell you
all about it.” The three Cartwrights
walked toward the house, Adam in the middle, a brother on one side of him, his
father on the other.
It
was two hours later before Ben and Hoss had finished telling Adam everything
that had transpired concerning his youngest brother after he had left. Joe’s injuries were not as bad as first
anticipated and though the doctor had ordered him to remain in bed for several
days, Joe had refused. No amount of
begging, pleading or ordering from his father could change the stubborn boy’s
mind. Shortly after that, Joe’s attitude
took a turn for the worse; he started staying out later and later. His drinking began to interfere with his work
and before long, his work stopped altogether.
He began staying away for days, often ending up in a drunken brawl and
having to spend the night sobering up in Roy Coffee’s jail.
Adam
hung his head as his father and brother continued to tell their story. Late one night Joe arrived home so drunk that
he had almost struck his father as Ben tried to reason with him. Joe had become violent, accusing his father
of blaming him for Adam’s leaving, and when Ben had adamantly denied the fact,
Joe had struck out at his father, missing and falling to a heap in the middle
of the floor. Little Joe’s reserve had
broken then as he lay crying in the floor.
Ben had gathered his young son into his arms and held him has he
wept. When his tears were finally spent,
Ben had gathered the boy into his arms and carried him to his bed where he
spent the next several hours in a drunken sleep.
For
two days Joe mopped about the house, sullen and withdrawn, not speaking to
anyone unless absolutely necessary. On
the third day, Ben had found Joe packing his belongings with the declamation
that he was going away. Though Ben
stressed to his son that he wanted him to stay, Joe was determined to go, so
Ben had relented only after Joe promised to keep in touch with his family, which
now, a month later left them waiting for the first word as to his whereabouts.
“Pa,
why didn’t you go after him?” asked Adam as he stood and walked to the
fireplace, his back to his father and brother.
Guilt had suddenly jumped into his heart at hearing of the bleak days
his brother had suffered through, and now not knowing where the boy was or what
he might be having to endure pulled Adam’s spirits downward into the depths of
his own living hell.
Ben
stood from his chair coming to stand behind Adam. “What good would it have done? He wouldn’t have come home, he would have
only resented the intrusion.”
Adam
turned suddenly and faced his father.
“You could have forced him to come back with you. My God, he’s only a boy.” Adam’s sudden anger surprised his father and
Ben took a step back though not out of fear.
He had seen the dark look cloud Adam’s face and realized that Adam
blamed himself for the things that had turned his younger brother’s world upside
down.
“Adam,
did you think of him as a boy that night in the barn, when you found him in
Sara’s arms? Or when you were fighting with him?” Ben didn’t give his son a chance to answer
but his reply was etched into his face as he turned to face his father. “I didn’t think so.”
“I
have to be honest with you son, I won’t try to sugar coat what I am going to
say to you. I didn’t do it with Joseph
and I won’t with you.” Ben held his
son’s stance as he continued.
“You
said some pretty nasty things to your brother.
Things that I know deep down, you didn’t really mean. That didn’t stop the effects your words had
on Joseph, however. They still cut him
deeply. You know how Joe always carried
his feelings on his shoulders, especially where you are concerned, he is always
trying to prove himself to you. He always felt as if you looked down on him, I
know you didn’t, not really, but now that idea has been seared into his mind by
what happened. You accused him of things
he was not responsible for. You took the
word of someone who you knew deep down was unworthy of your trust over the one
person other than Hoss or myself that loved you more than life its self. Just think about how that made your brother
feel.” Ben paused and watched Adam’s
reactions to his statement.
“I
don’t tell you all of this to make you feel guilty, I believe you felt that
before you even got home, am I right son?” Ben asked softly.
Adam
shook his head, indicating that his father’s suspicion was correct. “I am guilty Pa, don’t you think I know
that?” Adam’s voice cracked. “Don’t you know that everyday I think about
what I did to him, said to him, that every night when I shut my eyes, I see his
face in my dreams, hear his cries begging me to believe him? Don’t you know how much I hate myself right
now?”
Adam
returned to his chair falling into the cushion and leaning his head back. Adam took a deep breath and sighed. “In the morning, I’m leaving.”
Hoss
jerked his head up, surprised at his older sibling’s statement. Ben hurried to stand in front of Adam, an
angry look across his face.
“What
do you mean, you are leaving? Just where
do you think you are going this time?” demanded Ben placing both hands on his
hips and glaring down into his son’s face.
Adam
saw the dark look that had crossed his father’s face and realized that the
older man thought he was running out on him for the second time. Slowly he stood and placed a hand on each of
Ben’s shoulders and smiled slightly.
“You
want your baby back don’t you? Well, I
intend to bring him home, one way or the other.
Somehow, some way, I have to find him and get it through his thick head
that I am sorry for what I did to him, convince him that I love him and that
all of us want, no need for him to come home.”
Ben’s
anger disappeared quickly and he smiled, “Thank you son. Would you like Hoss and I to go along?”
“Yeah
Adam,” jumped in Hoss, anxious to offer his assistance, “with the three of us,
we’d stand a better chance to find him.”
“Thanks
Hoss, Pa. But I think this is something
I have to do on my own. I think if all
three of us showed up, Joe would feel as if he had no say in the matter. I want him to want to come home, not come
home because he is being forced into it.
I want him to understand that I was wrong and that,” Adam tapped his
chest with his index finger, “I want him to come home.”
For
two hot weeks Adam rode from town to town, always just days behind Joe and when
it seemed as if he had finally found what he had been searching for, the boy
would suddenly vanish. Tired and
discouraged, Adam drudged on, often going in circles following Joe’s
trail. Every town and saloon he entered,
Joe had left destruction in his wake, drunken fights and brawls often as not
spending nights in jail or worse in some back ally battered and bruised,
unconscious. Adam’s concern heightened
each time another story was passed on to him in regards to his brother’s
action. Joe was drunk, and had stayed
drunk for weeks, the knowledge scared Adam, and he feared not only for the
boy’s health but state of mind as well.
Adam forced himself to push on, his single goal, to find his brother and
bring him home.
Adam
rode into town, hot, dry and thirsty, his eyes searching the streets for a
saloon. The sun was high in the sky and
beat down its hot rays upon his head as he removed his hat to wipe the sweat
from his brow. Halfway down the street
his eyes caught the letters on the lopsided sign that hung precariously on the
broken chain. The letters were faded
from too many hours of being exposed to the arid weather but the word saloon
was still barely readable.
Adam
stopped his horse in front of the building and could hear the loud laughing
that rang from inside the bar. Tying
Sport to the hitching post and casting a backward glance at his surroundings,
Adam entered the establishment. There
were several cowpokes at the bar, all with tall glasses of foamy beer in their
hands. Several ladies dressed in scanty
costumes mulled around a small group of men who were sitting to the side, a game
of poker being played at the table. In
the far dark corner four men were laughing loudly and seemingly to be poking at
something or someone in the floor. Adam
ordered a beer and watched the proceedings from the large gilded mirror that
faced him. The four men in the corner
began cursing and shouting obscenities at the man who Adam had at last seen
cringing in the back corner. The young
man was very obviously drunk beyond standing though he struggled putting forth
an effort. The men continued to harass
the drunk as he stumbled to his feet and staggered toward the door.
Adam
had only caught a brief glimpse of the sot as he worked his way to the
door. The man sported clothes that were
tattered and torn; dirt covered his face so thick that it was hard to tell just
how old he might be. His hair was matted
and uncombed, his short wiry chin growth was stringy and dripped of booze from
where he had spilled his last drink. Adam
felt a pang of sympathy for the intoxicated man as the four men who had been
his tormentors finally pushed him out the door.
Loud boisterous laughter filled the air as the bullies re-entered the
saloon without their friend and ordered more beer.
Adam
felt the presence of a soft hand touch him and he turned his attention to the lovely
barmaid who toyed with the sleeve of his shirt, the inebriated man all but
forgotten. Adam smiled, the young woman
was beautiful and he briefly wondered what had led her to be working in such a
run down dump as this bar.
“You’re
new in town aren’t ya?” cooed the barmaid, glad to have the handsome man’s
attention.
Adam
dipped his hat, “Yes ma’am, but I’m not staying, just passing through.”
“Perhaps,
you’d buy a lady a drink?” She batted
her blue eyes at him and rubbed her hand up and down his arm.
Adam
was amused, ‘she even smells good,’ he told himself. “Sure, bar keeper, a drink for the lady
please,” Adam called out as he returned the young woman’s smile.
“My
name’s Tina, what’s yours?” asked Tina sipping her drink.
Adam
quickly scanned Tina’s face, she was different from most of the barmaids he had
encountered, she was younger too and thoughts of joining her upstairs was
quickly dismissed from his mind. It had
been a long time since having spent a night in the arms of a beautiful woman. Sara had almost become fastidious as their
relationship was nearing the end and he would have welcomed some change of
scenery from his troubles; but this gal was more the age of his youngest
brother, Joe, and was definitely off limits in his way of thinking.
“Adam…Adam
Cartwright,” smiled Adam and removed her hand from the back of his neck where
she had begun to tickle him and gently tug at his dark hair. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but you
will have to excuse me, I have business to tend too.” Again Adam tipped his hat and began moving
away from the petite little lady.
Tina
followed Adam to the door, her hips swaying from side to side. “Maybe later, cowboy,” she called out as Adam
slipped between the swinging doors. Tina
watched the dark handsome man gather his horse’s reins and move to the
direction of the livery stable, thinking how much she would have liked to spend
a night with the charming stranger.
Sport’s
shoe had worked itself loose until it had finally come off and Adam went in
search of a blacksmith. Stopping briefly
to inquire of a passerby if one worked in town, he was directed to the livery
where there was a full time blacksmith available.
Zeb
greeted Adam the minute the young man stepped into view of the blacksmith. “Howdy, stranger,” called Zeb putting down
his tools and moving to shake Adam’s hand.
“What’ca be aneedin’?”
“My
horse threw a shoe, think you take care of that for me?” asked Adam as he
wrapped Sport’s reins around the hitching post.
“Sure,
no problem, be right with ya, Mr. hmm…sorry, didn’t catch ya name.” Zeb sauntered over to Sport and lifted his
hoof to check the shoe.
“Cartwright,
Adam Cartwright.” Adam offered his hand
as Zeb wiped his dirty hand on his apron and reached for Adam’s and giving the
younger man a toothless grin.
“Pleased
ta meet ya,” replied Zeb as he began preparing the hot fire to pound the new
shoe that Sport would need.
Adam
held Sports halter while Zeb began working on the lost shoe. A loud whinny filled the air from the barn,
causing Sport to toss his head up and down and returned the whiny.
“Easy
boy,” Adam tried to calm the horse as he held the stallion’s halter but the
horse continued to toss his head. A
second whinny from the unseen horse stabled in the livery caused Adam to turn
toward the barn. Giving his horse a pat
on the neck, Adam stepped into the dim light of the barn and waited as his eyes
adjusted to the light. From the far
corner of the stable came a soft nicker.
Adam’s eyes followed the sound and when he saw the pinto stretching out
her neck toward him, Adam’s mouth opened in shock.
“Cochise? Is that really you?” Adam moved to the horse’s stall and rubbed
the soft nose that nuzzled him.
Carefully, Adam ran his hands along the horse’s flanks checking for the
pinetree brand, finding it, Adam allowed the breath he had been holding to pass
through his partly opened lips.
Zeb
returned and watched as Adam reacquainted himself with his brother’s
horse. “Nice lookin’ pinto. Ya interested? I’ll make ya a good deal?” asked Zeb coming
to stand behind Adam.
Adam’s
heart was in his throat as he turned to face the blacksmith. Adam grabbed the man by the front of his
shirt bringing the scared little man to his toes.
“Where
did you get this horse? Where is the boy
who owns her?” demanded Adam, his dark eyes filling with anger.
“Take
it easy Mr. Cartwright,” squeaked Zeb trying to free himself from Adam’s grasp.
Adam
fought to bring himself under control.
He had been searching weeks for Joe and now he was so close to finding
the boy that his excitement had caused him to react harshly.
“Sorry,
old timer,” apologized Adam releasing the blacksmith’s shirt. “It’s just that his horse belongs to my kid
brother and I’ve been trying to catch up with him for quite awhile,” explained
Adam.
“Your
brother, ya say? Hmm…the kid that sold
her to me said his name was Carter, not Cartwright.” Zeb scratched his head.
“What
do you mean, he sold her to you? There’s
no way Joe would have sold this horse. It
was his prized possession.” Adam was
stunned at the news and turned to face Zeb, waiting for his answer.
“The
kid came in here about ten days ago and said he was in dire need of money and
offered to sale me his horse and saddle.
I made a deal with him, paid him and he left,” explained Zeb, backing up
a step from Adam when he saw the young man’s eyes turn black.
Adam
grew worried; he found it hard to believe that his brother would part with his
beloved horse, a birthday gift from their father, unless he was not in his
right frame of mind. Adam reasoned that
considering the amount of drinking his father had informed him that Joe had
been doing, it was very likely that the boy had been unaware of his actions.
“Do
you have a bill of sale?” asked Adam.
“Sure
do Mr. Cartwright, right here.” Zeb went
to his desk and rummaged through some papers until he found what he was looking
for. Turning, he handed the receipt to
Adam.
Adam
quickly scanned the paper and recognized the backward slant of Little Joe’s handwriting. Joe had signed his name as Jay Carter,
probably in the hopes of hiding his true identity.
Adam
folded the paper and handed it back to Zeb.
“Has the boy been back here since selling the horse?” asked Adam hopeful
that he might be able to catch up to his brother.
“I
see’d him once, caught him in here late one night talking to her. Then once I found him passed out over yonder
in the hay. He was wasted, I let’em
sleep it off but by mornin’ he was gone.
Ain’t laid eyes on’em since.” Zeb
told Adam and returned to working on Sport’s shoe.
Adam
followed the blacksmith out into the bright sun. “Do you have any idea where I might find
him?”
Zeb
squinted his eyes at Adam as the hot sun blocked his view and saw the concerned
look in his face. “Probably at one of
the saloons. From what I hear tell
about’em, he likes his whiskey.” Zeb
watched as the handsome man fought with his emotions. “I ain’t meanin’ no disrespect Mr.
Cartwright, but ain’t that boy a mite young to be a drunk?”
Adam
gave the old man a smile that was more of a grimace. “I agree with you, and when I find the young
scamp, I hope to change that.” Turning,
Adam called over his shoulder, “I will be back later for my horse. Do me a favor, will you?”
Zeb
straightened his back and stretched to loosen the tightness from his muscles
from having been bent over for so long.
“Anything, just name it. I sorta
liked that boy, reminded me of my own son.”
Zeb’s eyes took on a far away look as he recalled his son, now passed.
“Don’t
sale that pinto to anyone, I’ll pay you whatever you ask for her.” Adam gathered his saddlebags and bedroll from
his horse as Zeb pondered the offer.
“Ya
got ya self a deal, Mr. Cartwright. Ya
just come back when ya ready and ya horses will be here waitin’ fur ya.” Zeb stepped up to Adam and shook hands to
seal the deal.
Adam’s
thoughts were running amuck through his head.
He had to find Joe, and the first place he planned on looking was at the
saloon, but first he had to get himself a room at the hotel and something to
eat. It was getting late in the day and
his rumbling stomach told him that it was long passed eating time.
It
didn’t take Adam long to acquire neither his room nor his meal and within an
hour’s time he was back outside and on his way to the saloon. Maybe the barmaid, Tina, had seen his brother
in the saloon at some time and might be able to tell him where the boy had been
staying.
As
Adam worked his way down the boarded walkway, his eyes searched the faces of
each man he encountered hoping to find his brother. Suddenly he stopped in his tracks, his eyes
catching a glimpse of the pearl handle pistol and leather holster displayed in
the window of the shop that he stopped at.
Looking up at the name, Adam realized that he was standing in front of a
gunsmith’s shop. Promptly he pushed
opened the door and stepped hastily to the counter. A spry middle aged man wearing wire-framed
glasses greeted him politely and asked to be of service.
“The
pearl handle pistol in the window, might I see it?” Adam fought to keep his voice from quivering.
The
clerk stepped to the window and removed the required item returning and handing
it to Adam. Adam’s heart was beating
rapidly as his fingers traced the lines of the handgun, stopping only when his
finger traced the engraved J.C. that he had had engraved on the handle as a
special birthday gift to his younger brother.
Adam
held the gun up, “Where did you get this?” he asked softly, already knowing the
answer in his heart.
“I
bought it about a week ago from a young man who said he needed money. I don’t usually buy articles that have been
engraved like this, but this was such a fine looking piece, and the kid didn’t
want much for it, so I took it. I have
to be honest with you, mister, the boy didn’t look like the type of kid to own
something like this,” the clerk pointed to the pistol as Adam replaced it into
the holster. “I was half afraid that he
might have stolen it from somebody,” he explained.
Adam
shook his head afraid to find out the man’s reasoning, “Why not? What was wrong with him?”
The
clerk met the dark penetrating eyes and knew that he had to be truthful. “The kid was drunk, drunker than most of the
locals that hang around at the bar.
Dirty and smelly too, I just gave him the money, just to get him out of
my shop, if you know what I mean.”
Adam’s
face dropped in disappointment, he had little hope now of finding the boy
sober. Seems as if Joe was building a
reputation as being the town drunk, and the thought ripped at Adam’s heart
thinking about what the boy must be having to endure all alone. Guilt tugged at
Adam’s heartstrings, as he recalled just why Joe had felt the need to leave his
home and family behind. The disturbing thoughts
caused Adam to set his resolve firmly at finding his brother at any cost.
“I
want to buy this gun and holster,” stated Adam firmly as he prepared to pay the
man. With his purchase safely tucked
under his arm, Adam hurried to take his brother’s sidearm to his room at the
hotel and set out again in search of Little Joe.
Adam
spotted Tina as soon as he entered the saloon.
She was busy with several patrons and had little time for him. He ordered a beer and moved to a table in
the back corner where he would have a good view of the customers as they
entered and left the establishment. Time
moved slowly for Adam, he had hoped that this evening would produce his brother
and thus end his long search. When he
was finally able to have a word with Tina, she informed Adam that she did not
know of a young man who fit his brother’s description but promised to send word
to him should his younger brother come in.
Adam’s
thoughts slipped backward through the years to Little Joe as a small boy. Adam smiled to himself, his youngest brother
had been the joy of all of their hearts, bringing into their home love and
laughter that had never faltered when trying times had befallen the family
unit. Adam recalled his father saying
that as a family they could overcome astronomical odds as long as they stuck
together. Their father had lived by the words, ‘Blood Is Thicker Than Water’
and taught the same values to his sons.
Adam felt again the now too familiar feeling of guilt for having
forgotten that priceless lesson of his youth having chosen instead to put his
trust in an outsider who not only had deceived him but whom he blamed in part
for his brother’s self-destruction.
The
hour was late. Adam pushed back his
chair and stood, giving the room one last once over to be sure he had not
missed seeing Joe come into the bar.
Once outside, Adam looked upward and voiced a silent prayer.
‘Please
God, help me find my brother. I need to
make things right between us; I need to tell him I was wrong. And God, I need him to know that I need, no,
want him to come home, please God, let tonight be the night.” By the time that Adam was finished he found
himself standing in front of the livery stable.
A driving force to be near his brother lured him inside and to Cochise’s
stall. The pinto nickered softly in
recognition as Adam gently rubbed her forehead.
“Got
any idea where your boy is, huh?” whispered Adam remembering the times he had
teased Joe about talking to his horse and sighed softly as Cochise bobbed her
head up and down as if in response to his question. “I wish you did ole’ girl, I’d give anything
right now to find him.”
Adam
was on his way out when he stopped at the sounds of voices and laughter that
appeared to be coming from the back of the stable. Making his way to the rear entrance, Adam
gently pushed back the stable door and stopped short at the sight his eyes were
suddenly witness too. A small group of
men that Adam remembered from the bar when he had first came into town were
betting with a group of boys of various ages.
Adam watched as one boy pulled back his arm and threw a rotten tomato at
his target. Adam’s eyes followed the
flying tomato and watched in horror as the fruit found its mark.
Tied
securely to an old oxen yoke that lay across the shoulder and behind the neck
was the young drunk from earlier in the day.
The man’s arms had been stretched around the thick wooden yoke and the
wrists tied tightly to prevent him from escape.
They had positioned the bound man behind a hitching post where they had
forced the boy’s legs apart, tying each ankle to a post. Forcing his lower body downward, the stomach
was lying across the bar and a rope tied to the yoke and over a low hanging
branch of a nearby tree forced the boy into staying in the uncomfortable
position.
The
group of young boys were laughing and shouting obscenities as one of the older
boys of the group picked up an old tin can and scooped up a can full of manure
from the waste pile near by. Laughing he
threw the can at the bound drunk, striking the man in the small of the back
causing him to cry out in pain. This
ignited the enthusiasm of the onlookers and caused the tormentors to burst into
loud obnoxious gales of laughter as they slapped the pitcher on the back giving
their approval for hitting his mark.
“Now
ya really stink, you stupid drunk,” yelled the boy who had thrown the can.
Adam
pulled his gun from his holster and fired a single shot into the air. The laughing suddenly stopped as all eyes
focused on the dark stranger that appeared to have hot sparks of fire radiating
from his intense dark eyes.
“Let’s
get outta here,” one boy screamed and suddenly legs carrying scared boys were
running in all directions. Adam turned
to face the four bullies and without saying a word, they too left.
Adam
ran to the bound man and with his knife, freed first the man’s legs. Adam gagged slightly as the smell of body
order, mixed with the odor of stale whiskey, vomit and now with the manure,
filled his nostrils. Turning his head
and taking a deep breath to clear his head, Adam cut the ropes that held the
sot’s hands to the yoke allowing the heavy burden to slip to the ground. Gently Adam laid the young man on the ground
as he took his scarf from around his neck and ran to the water trough to wet
it.
“Pa?” The slurred plea was so softly spoken, Adam
wasn’t sure he had really heard and he continued to the trough. “Pa.”
Adam
stopped in his tracks, unable to move.
“Please…Papa.” The two words were
undeniable and Adam felt the tears burst forth from his eyes as he fell to his
knees and gathered the boy into his arms no longer aware of the offending
stench.
“Joe?” Adam wiped with the dripping scarf what dirt
and grim he could from the face of his brother, unable to fathom that his nasty
offending creature had once been his handsome, giddy baby brother.
“Joe…buddy,”
cried Adam, rocking back and forth with his bundle, shocked that he had not
even recognized the boy.
The
eyelids fluttered and batted until they opened slightly. Joe’s eyes searched for the sound of the
voice; but because of his besotted condition could not find who had spoken his
name. He cared only that the arms that
cradled his aching body held him tenderly and that he could feel this person’s
love flowing into his body.
Tears
ran from the corners of his eyes leaving in their wake white tracks as they
filtered through the dirt that remained covering his bruised face. “Pa…I wanna go home.” Joe’s eyes closed as the blackness engulfed
him and Adam felt the boy go limp in his arms.
Adam
held his precious brother several minutes; his heart crumbling away in tiny
pieces at the vision of what his brother had once been in comparison to the
frail excuse of what the boy had become.
Heavy sobs racked his body and he screamed out in self-proclaimed agony
and hate of himself for being the reason behind such a disaster.
When
Adam’s sobs had finely vented themselves, he rose, bringing in his arms the
body of his brother. Adam’s main goal
now was to get Joe back to the hotel and clean him up. Adam wondered briefly how long it had been
since the boy had eaten for he seemed to weigh nothing as he moved along the
ally avoiding the main streets and the stares of the late night passers. Adam rounded the corner behind the saloon and
bumped into Tina as she was leaving.
“Oh,
my. Mr. Cartwright,” said Tina, trying
to step aside.
“I’m
sorry Tina,” stated Adam, “I’m in a hurry and I didn’t see you. Excuse me.”
Adam moved to allow the young woman to pass. “I need to get my brother back to the hotel.”
“You
found him?” Tina raised up on her
tiptoes and peeked at Adam’s bundle.
“Phew…Oh goodness, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” Tina covered her nose. “I thought you said this was your
brother. This is Jay Carter, the town
drunk.”
“This
is my brother, Joe, the one I asked you about.” Adam glared at the lady.
“Mr.
Cartwright, you gave a totally different description, you didn’t say he was a
drunk. But I will tell you this much, you
can’t take Jay, ere, Joe to the hotel.”
Tina stood with her hands on her hips.
“Why
not?” demanded Adam.
“Because,
he stirred up quite a bit of trouble there the other day and they said if he
ever came back, they would have him thrown in jail. They are not very nice people, Mr.
Cartwright, they would do it too.”
“What
am I going to do now, I have to take him someplace where I can get him cleaned
up and sober,” stated Adam looking about as if a place would suddenly appear.
“Adam,
Mr. Cartwright, I have a small cabin right down this lane,” she pointed in the
direction of her home, “you can take him there.
Here’s the key,” she said as she reached into the front of her dress and
produced the key. “There is food and
fresh water, a spare room with a cot off the kitchen, make yourself at
home. I won’t be there until morning,
but you are welcomed to anything I have.”
Tina
stuck the key into the front pocket of Adam’s shirt and smiled. “Consider it a pay back, Jay, I mean Joe, did
me a favor a couple of weeks back, I owe him.
And I might add, I sorta like you.”
Tina winked at Adam and returned to her job leaving Adam to carry Joe
down the lane to her home.
Adam
managed to unlock the door and carry Joe inside. Tina had left the lamp burning low, giving
him just enough light to find his way to the kitchen where he located the spare
room that she had informed him of.
Carefully Adam placed Joe on the cot, first removing the offending
remnants of the shirt he wore. Laying
Joe down, he pulled the crusted boots and wet socks from his feet and added
them to the growing pile of rags. The
trousers were easy to remove. Joe had
lost so much weight that the pants slid from his waist over his hips without
being unfastened. When Joe was totally
undressed, he moved him further onto the cot and covered him. Adam could not help but notice the many
bruises and small cuts and scrapes that covered not only Joe’s arms and legs,
but his chest and stomach area as well.
Joe’s body looked as if it had been used as a punching bag and he could
only speculate as to who might have inflected the damage.
Adam
built the fire in the stove and began heating water to bathe Joe. On the side porch he found much to his
delight, the large round bathing tub and dragged it into the kitchen where he
would not have to carry the water so far and where he could bathe his brother
in the warmth of the heat produced by the stove. It took several minutes for the water to
become warm enough and when he had filled the tub to the desire depth, he carried
Joe into the kitchen and eased his still form into the soothing water. In minutes the water had turned from clear to
cloudy as Adam washed away what appeared to be weeks of dirt and grime. Joe moaned from time to time but never opened
his eyes to the happenings around him.
When Adam was finished, he grabbed a soft fluffy towel from the wooden
peg next to the door and wrapping it about Joe, carried the boy into the room,
laid him on the bed and dried his body.
Searching
in his saddlebag for his shaving utensils, Adam managed to shave what appeared
to be a month’s worth of growth from his brother’s face. Adam smiled in satisfaction, he had somehow
succeed in completing the task without nicking the tender skin.
When
he was sure that Joe was comfortable, he covered him with a clean quilt that
Tina had folded at the end of the small bed.
Fluffing the pillows, Adam raised Joe’s head and positioned them
beneath. As Joe’s head sank into the
comforts of the down pillows his eyes suddenly opened and he screamed out as if
in terror.
Joe
began flinging his arms about, his legs kicking at unseen objects until Adam
had to physically force the boy into submission. The outburst lasted only a couple of minutes
but left Adam with the feeling that he had been in full-blown combat. Joe at last closed his eyes and Adam hurried
to find medical supplies to disinfect the various places on Joe’s body that
required the attention. When Adam
finished with the minor wounds, he rummaged through the cabinets until he found
Tina’s coffee tin and filled the pot with water in order to make himself enough
coffee to carry him through what he supposed to be, a long night.
Several
times throughout the night, Joe fought his unseen demons and each time Adam
held him in his arms and whispered words of encouragement into his ear. Many times, Adam felt his own cheeks damp
from tears as Joe cried out for their father.
Adam worried that he had made a mistake in not wanting his father to
accompany him on the search to find Joe, for it surely appeared as if the boy
wanted more than anything, his father.
Tina
arrived home just before sunrise and found Adam sleeping in the nearby chair
and Joe tossing restlessly on the cot.
The room looked to be in shambles and Tina knew instantly that it had
been a long hard night for both of the brothers. Tina had seen enough drunks in her short time
as barmaid to know the signs of withdrawal and she knew that the young boy had
a hard road ahead of him if he were to overcome his drinking problem. Silently she offered up a prayer on his
behalf and one for Adam who seemed to be in dire need of her prayers as well.
Tina
moved quietly about the kitchen preparing breakfast for both her self and
Adam. She knew that Joe would sleep most
of the day and when he did wake enough to be able to eat, food would be the
furthermost thing from his mind. When
breakfast was placed on the table she gently tapped Adam on the shoulder and
when his eyes met her eyes, she motioned for him to join her at the table. Giving a quick glance in Joe’s direction to
ensure himself that he remained sleeping, he rose quietly and joined his new
friend for breakfast.
When
Adam had finished his breakfast and Tina cleaned her kitchen, Adam went to send
a telegram to his father to let him know that he had found Joe. Knowing the condition that his brother was in
but not wanting to elaborate in the message, he informed his father that it
would be several days before Joe would be well enough to travel. He also promised his father that he would
keep him posted on Joe’s recovery and would inform him of their departure date
just before they left for home. Adam’s
next stop was at the hotel to collect his belongings and settle his
account. Tina had opened her home to both
Joe and himself and Adam felt that he could best care for Joe in the privacy of
Tina’s small cabin than in a public building.
Adam knew that his brother had many hard days ahead of him and keeping
him in a quiet setting would make matters more comfortable for the boy.
Adam’s
last stop was at the doctor’s office where he talked at length about Joe’s
excessive drinking over the last several weeks.
He had even found himself speaking freely of his role that had led Joe
to throw himself into such a dilemma as a drinking binge. The doctor sat patiently and listened as
Adam told of his love of the beautiful woman and his rage directed against his
young brother at finding the two together.
The doctor showed no emotion other than compassion as Adam told him of
his attack on his brother. The doctor’s expression never changed when Adam
explained the whys of his leaving without bothering to explaining to his father
his sudden departure. Doctor Scott
sensed in Adam the need to unburden himself of his guilt and that Adam was a
man who rarely opened his heart in such a manner as to reveal himself so
publicly. The doctor immediately picked
up on the quantity of love that Adam felt toward his younger brother. The look that filled the dark eyes and the
small smile that tugged at the corners of Adam’s mouth as he spoke his
brother’s name told the doctor all he needed to know of the sincerity of the
man’s heart in wanting to help his brother.
Doctor
Scott promised to drop by after lunch to examine Little Joe and to discuss in
detail Joe’s recovery. Adam thanked him
for his kindness, found himself apologizing for rambling but left with the
feeling that some of the weight of the world had been lifted from his
shoulders.
When
Adam opened the door to the small house, Joe’s screams tore at his heart. Tina was fighting with Joe who was trying
desperately to get out of bed. Joe had
managed to shove Tina against the wall and was attempting to free his legs from
the confines of the blankets.
“Let
me go!” yelled Joe, his words slurred as he fought with the covers. “Leave me alone!” Joe managed to fling the blankets to the
floor and was trying to stand by the time Adam had reached his side. As Adam reached out to grab for Joe’s arm,
Joe swung his fist out in an attempt to strike Adam which only caused him to
stagger forward and fall into Adam’s outstretched arms where he crumbled to the
floor.
“Please,
help me,” Joe managed to cry as his eyes pooled with tears. Adam gently lifted the boy into his arms and
placed him back on the bed, covering him.
Joe’s eyes were unfocused as his tears make their escape down his cheeks
and he grabbed at the air attempting to reach for some unseen object. Adam clasped Joe’s outstretched hand with his
own and held it tightly.
“Joe,
it’s okay, buddy. Settle down, you’re
going to be okay.” Adam watched Joe’s
face as the dulled eyes searched his face and when the hazel eyes met his, Adam
realized that Joe had no idea that he was in the care of his brother. Portions of the alcohol still remained in
Joe’s system, causing the boy to be confused and unaware of what was going on
around him.
Joe
suddenly pushed Adam away taking the older boy by surprise. “Go away, just leave me alone.” Joe turned his head away from Adam and buried
his face into the soft pillow so that Adam could no longer see his face and
where his sobs were muffled.
“Okay,
Joe. You just try to rest, I’ll fix you
something to eat when you feel like eating.”
Adam stood, adjusted the blankets and slowly walked from the room,
leaving Joe to sleep off the remaining effects of the whiskey.
“He’ll
be all right Adam. It will take several
days, several hard days. My father was
an alcoholic; I have seen first hand what the withdrawals can do to a man. You just have to give him time, and lots of
patience.” Tina smiled at Adam and
rested her hand on his shoulder offering what comfort she could. “Don’t look so beaten, it will get worse
before it gets better, but I promise Adam, it will get better and so will your
brother, my father did,” she added with pride showing in her eyes.
Adam
stood from the chair he had collapsed into and gathered the young girl into his
arms placing a kiss on top of her golden curls.
“Thank you Tina, you are an angel, and a very pretty one I might add,”
smiled Adam.
Tina
giggled, “Well, I’ve been called a lot of things, but never an angel.”
“I
don’t see why not. You definitely were
present in my time of need. I thank you
for that,” Adam said with all the sincerity he felt in his heart for this young
girl’s help.
Tina
pulled from Adam’s embrace and smiled shyly, “I should be thanking you, or at
least Joe. He helped me out one night in
the saloon.” Tina hung her head briefly
and then faced Adam, “I was being insulated by this cowpoke and when he grabbed
my arm and twisted it behind my back, Joe kicked his butt. Whoops, sorry, I didn’t mean to say that, Joe
tossed him out of the bar and the guy never did bother me anymore after that.”
Adam
couldn’t help but laugh, “Joe kicked butt, that sounds like my little brother,
coming to the aide of a damsel in distress.”
Adam’s eyes sought his brother’s face as he lay sleeping on the
cot. “Damn, what I wouldn’t give to see
him like that again.”
“Adam,
you will, I just know you will. Now, if
you will excuse me, I have to get to bed.
I have to work tonight. Good
night Adam.” Tina smiled and blew a kiss
to Adam as she disappeared into her room.
Adam filled his coffee cup and pulled the chair up to the table while he
read the paper he had picked up while in town.
The kitchen chair was placed in such a manner as to allow Adam to keep a
close watch on Joe who slept just a few feet away.
True
to his word, Doctor Scott arrived a short time after lunch. Adam showed him in and together they entered
Joe’s room where Joe slept peacefully.
Joe opened his eyes briefly when he felt the doctor’s hand resting on
his brow but just as quickly closed them, unaware that he was being examined.
“He
sure has been sleeping a lot, Doc.,” commented Adam as he sat in the chair and
watched as the doctor pulled the covers from Joe’s body to study the various
bruises.
“That’s
normal Mr. Cartwright. Your brother will
be doing a lot of that over the next several days. In fact, he will be doing a variety of
things, disturbing things mostly. He
will go through several different phases before the alcohol is completely out
of his system.” Doctor Scott pulled the
blankets up around Joe and sat on the bed facing Adam.
“You
need to be aware of those things, Mr. Cartwright in order to give this boy the
very best care you can,” Scott informed Adam.
Adam stretched his back and pinched the bridge of his nose before
meeting the doctor’s eyes, dreading to hear the details of Joe’s suffering.
“Let’s
have it, I know it’s going to be a hard road back.” Adam gave the doctor a weak smile.
Doctor
Scott patted Adam’s shoulder giving his support. “Mr. Cartwright, Adam, I will help you all I
can. I know you love this boy that is
very clear to me. You won’t have to do this
on your own.”
“I
appreciate that.” Adam watched as Joe
began moaning and thrashing on the bed.
“Can you give him anything to make this easier for him?” Adam searched the doctor’s face hopefully.
“I
think it would be best if we didn’t do that.
He needs to fight off the effects on his own; to sedate him would only
prolong the inevitable. He will be restless such as he is now. Later as the withdrawals become worse, he
will have mood swings, one minute he will want to fight you, the next he might become
withdrawn. He will become emotional,
maybe even start crying becoming confused.
He won’t be able to walk without staggering, he’ll become dizzy.” Doctor Scott watched Adam’s reaction to be
sure that the young man was absorbing all the information before continuing.
“After
two or three days of that, he will begin to lapse in and out of consciousness,
barely moving at all. He’ll be unable to
respond to stimuli. You will need to
keep a close eye on him then; we don’t him hurting himself. He will not be able to keep anything down; he
will vomit often. But that’s okay, it’s
just purging his system.” The doctor
rested his hand on Adam’s knee as Adam raised his head to meet the doctor’s
kind eyes. Adam’s tears were not lost on
the compassionate physician.
“Once
your brother gets passed the third stage of withdrawal, he must face the final,
and probably the most difficult challenge of all. The last stage Adam, could take as little as
two days and in some cases, as long as four months,” explained the doctor.
Adam’s
shook his head in disbelief, “four months?
Doc, do you think he can…”
“Adam,
I think with your help and that of his family, he can overcome this. Like I said, it isn’t going to be easy, but
it can be done. Just knowing you for
such a short time I have no doubt that you will not allow this boy to settle
for anything less than a full recovery.
Now, about this last stage, Joseph will experience aching muscles, he
will become sweaty and flushed, he will continue to vomit. Adam, he might suffer from convulsions and
have hallucinations, he could become anxious, depressed and worst of all, could
become suicidal.”
Adam
jerked his head up and stared at the physician in shock. “Doctor, you don’t think he would…” Adam rose
from his seat and stood at the head of Joe’s bed and rested his hand on his
brother’s brow. Adam felt his knees go
weak at the thought that his youngest brother might go so far as to end his own
life.
“Adam,
let’s give it time and see how he does.
It is just something that we have to watch for, it doesn’t necessarily
mean he will do it or even consider it.
Right now, we need to be concerned with keeping him quiet and as
comfortable as possible. I will leave
you these,” the doctor pulled four lengths of binding from his medical
bag. “I want to you use these to
restrain the boy should he become violent and too much for you to handle
alone.”
“Tie
him up?” The surprise was still on
Adam’s face and showing in his dark eyes.
“Joe would go out of his mind, he hates being confined. It has always been something that has
terrified him, even as a child. I don’t
think I could…”
The
doctor placed both of his hands on Adam’s shoulders silencing him, “Son, you do
what you think is best for the boy, I am only telling you should he become too
much to handle, he could possibly hurt himself and you, or the young girl. I would not want to see that happen, you
understand, surely.”
Adam
nodded his head, “Yes sir, but only if all else fails.” Adam took the bindings from the doctor and sat
them on the table next to Joe’s bed, out of sight. “One last thing Doctor Scott, he doesn’t know
me.”
“I’m
not surprised Adam. That will come in
time. Has he asked for anyone, his
mother or father perhaps?” asked Scott.
“His
mother passed away when he was a boy, but he did ask for our father. Do you think I should send for him?” Adam had hoped to spare his father the news
as to how far his youngest son had slipped into the world of oblivion but
reasoned that if it would help with a quicker recovery for his brother, then he
would send word that their father was needed.
“I
would wait for now son, at least until he becomes more coherent, then I would
consider it if you feel it would help him.
He needs the support of all of his family, not just his brother, and I
mean that in the nicest way of course.”
The physician gathered his belongs and moved toward the door. “I’ll be back in the morning to check on him,
if you need me before then you know where to find me.” Doctor Scott placed his hat on his head and
smiled at Adam, “Good luck, son. Try not
worry too much.”
Adam
and Joe’s days and nights began running together. It was as the doctor had predicted; Joe went
from bad to worse and back to bad time after time. One minute Joe was sleeping as peacefully as
a baby the next he was all over the bed, taking from Adam all the strength the
older brother could muster to keep the younger brother in bed and out of harms
way.
Late
one evening as Adam returned to Joe’s room, he was surprised to find his brother
awake and watching him. Moving closer to
the bed he was taken off guard as Joe suddenly drew himself into a ball and
scooted to the far corner of the bed covering his head with his arms.
“Joe,
hey buddy what’s wrong?” Adam moved swiftly
to Joe’s bedside and sat down. As Adam
attempted to reassure the boy, Joe began fighting against the hands that
reached for him, all the while trying to back further into his corner.
“NO! Don’t touch me, Adam, please…don’t hit me
again,” screamed the frightened boy. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” he wailed.
Adam
withdrew his hands but continued to comfort his brother. “Joe…I’m not going to hit you, pal. Calm down, please,” said Adam softly. “Come here, little buddy.” Adam rested his hand on Joe’s shoulder in
hopes of drawing the boy closer and felt the tremors that ran through the body
as soon as he touched him. The boy was
shaking with fear, his eyes wide in fright, causing Adam to swallow the lump
that had suddenly grown in his throat.
Joe
raised his head and searched his brother’s face. “I didn’t do anything…It was
her…Adam…honest…she…” cried Joe, the tears forming in his eyes.
“I
know that Joe, she told me buddy. I’m
the one who’s sorry. Joe I never meant
those things I said to you, honest. I
was hurt, I was mad…and I wanted you to feel the same hurt I was feeling. It was wrong of me Joe; I don’t know what got
into me. I don’t blame you for
anything. Please Joe, you have to
believe me.” Adam gently pulled Joe
closer to him and watched as the boy struggled with his emotions and
tears. The look in the hazel eyes that
watched his face tore at his heart.
“You
were right little buddy, I should have listened to you, Sara was no good. I was wrong Joe, and I want you to know that
I’m sorry for doing this to you.” Adam
hung his head, allowing his own tears to drip from his eyes. “I need you to forgive me, Joe.”
Neither
young man spoke for several minutes.
Adam looked up when he felt Joe’s hand brush his cheek. “Promise me Adam, you won’t leave me
again.” Joe’s eyes filled with tears and
his voice was pleading as he searched for reassurance from his brother.
Adam
gathered Joe into a warm embrace, “I promise Joe, when I leave here, you will
be riding out with me.”
As
much as Adam had fought against having to resort to the restraints, after four
days of constant battle, with regret, Adam tied the soft bindings around each
wrist and ankle, securing Joe and preventing his moving from the bed.
Joe’s
screams of hatred ripped at the core of Adam’s heart and soul and he had to
leave his brother’s bedside until the ranting subsided. Joe’s curses rang in Adam’s ears as the boy
struggled against his restraints and the sight of his brother in such a
tortured state nearly drove the usually composed Adam to the end of his own
rope. Joe struggled for hours, his
screams became raspy as his voice lost some of it’s intensity, his cries and
pleadings for release finally stopped altogether as exhaustion claimed the weary
body and Joe closed his eyes in sleep.
Adam
was well passed the point of going, so fatigued and worn was his own body that
he was on the verge of giving up when something his father had said played into
his memory. ‘When you
stand alone each one of us can easily be broken, but together as a family, we
cannot easily break.’
Adam checked on Joe and seeing that he slept soundly, grabbed his hat, and hurried to the telegraph office at the far end of town. It was now time to send for his father, he needed Pa’s help and Joe needed their father’s strength, love and reassurance that the older man’s presence held. The telegraph was sent quickly with the instructions that the reply be brought promptly to the little house. Adam hoped that with the news of Pa’s impending arrival it would help to lift Joe’s spirits.
Adam’s reply came late that afternoon with a promise from Ben that he would leave immediately and hopefully arrive within a three days ride. Adam knew that for Ben to cover that much territory is such a short time his father would have to ride long and hard. However, Adam had no doubt that his father could accomplish the impossible when it came to the needs of one of his sons and the thought caused a small smile to transform Adam’s tired face into one which held hope.
Joe continued to sleep far into the night waking just before dawn and finding himself still strapped to the bed. It was soft whimpers that woke Adam from a sound sleep. As soon as Adam heard Joe moving about on the bed Adam hurried to his bedside. Joe’s eyes looked up pleadingly into his older brother’s and Adam could read the misery hidden within the hazel depths.
Adam sat on the side of the bed brushing back a long curl that had fallen into the boy’s face. “You need a haircut, buddy,” smiled Adam swallowing the lump that had worked its way from his stomach into his throat.
“You sound like Pa.” Joe’s face failed to smile; instead, Joe cast worried glances over his head at his bounds and tugged gently at the soft cloths while making soft gulping sounds forcing air into his lungs. “Untie me Adam. You know I hate this.” Joe tugged once again, harder with his arms, struggling to remain calm though his fear was slowly beginning to overwhelm him.
“Joe, you know I can’t. Not yet, buddy. I know you don’t like it Joe, but it’s for your own good. I don’t want to see you hurt yourself,” Adam tried to explain but saw by the look on the young face that his words of caution fell on deaf ears.
Joe fought the panic he felt rising to the surface and swallowed the acid that rose in his mouth. “I won’t hurt myself, I promise. Adam, come on, untie me.”
“I can’t…” began Adam.
Joe’s panic hit the button, “WHY?? Damnit? You wanna hear me beg, okay…fine, I’ll beg. Please Adam, untie me,” screamed Joe, giving in to his fears and battling at the straps that held him securely in place. “Please!” Joe forced his tears to stay away but the look in his eyes told Adam that they were nearing the battlefield once again.
Adam stroked his brother’s face in an attempt to calm the hysterical boy. “Joe, calm down. I promise you, I will untie you as soon as I can.” Adam watched as Joe continued to pull on the restraints and tried to twist his body off the bed.
“I hate you Adam, do you hear me?” Joe succumbed to his frustrations. “I hate you for doing this to me,” Joe’s sobs racked his body and he gave into his tears. “I hate you,” wept Joe softly turning his face away from Adam to avoid making eye contact. In a matter of minutes, Joe’s cries ceased and he slipped into the uncaring world of blessed slumber.
Adam returned to the room and sat beside his brother as he slept the weight of the world resting on his shoulders. ‘Hurry Pa, he needs you, so do I,’ prayed Adam to himself as he buried his face in his hands and cried not just for himself but for this boy whom he adored but who now hated him.
Adam knew that Joe’s proclamations of hatred were caused from the withdrawal symptoms but had not realized how much his brother’s words could hurt. The truth was, in Adam’s mind, that what he was now feeling must have been the same as Joe felt when he had uttered the same words to him. Adam glanced up at Joe’s face, sweaty and flushed now from the after affects and silently vowed to make things up to him. “I’m sorry, little buddy,” whispered Adam to the sleeping boy, “I’m so sorry.”
Joe slept off and on for several hours as the long day worn on. Once Adam had convinced the boy to sip some broth but that had only resulted with Joe being sick and when he had vomited, Adam had the grueling task of cleaning not only Joe but his bed as well. Joe had slipped into unconsciousness immediately after being sick, which aided Adam in cleaning up the mess. Carefully Adam wrapped Joe’s wrists and ankles with soft cloths before retying his restraints in an effort to stop the chafing that had begun to mar the skin as Joe struggled and would hopefully make his brother more comfortable.
“Adam…Adam.” The older boy was awakened by the sound of his name being called. Quickly he moved nearer to Joe and sat down next to the bed rubbing Joe’s arm as the boy tossed his head back and forth.
“I’m here Joe. What’s wrong pal?” asked Adam as he continued his soothing rub.
“Pa…” Joe opened his eyes, “I want Pa…please Adam…take me home,” cried Joe.
“Shh…Joe, Pa is coming. He should be here in the next couple of days.” It had started raining and Adam had lost all hope that his father would make the long journey in the three days that Ben had estimated. From the sounds of the thunder and the pounding force for the rain, Adam could only hope that now his father might arrive within the week.
“Adam, untie me…” started Joe.
“Joe, we’ve already discussed this, you…”
“I gotta go, please Adam, I can’t wait much longer,” Joe’s eyes were pleading and Adam could no longer refuse his brother.
“Okay, Joe, just long enough for you to go, but I’ll have to help you, I doubt you can even stand.” Adam quickly untied both wrists and as he turned to undo the ankles, Joe struggled to stand. Pushing away Adam