Wind Beneath My Wings

 

By Debbie B  ;0)

 

Little Joe mounted his horse in a bounding motion and kicked sharply at Cochise’s flanks.  He had to ride fast to get home for he knew he was already late and Joe dreaded facing his oldest brother’s wrath for the second day in a row.

 

Ben and Hoss Cartwright had had to make a trip to Sacramento and had taken their housekeeper, Hop Sing, along with them so that he might visit his cousin while the two Cartwrights tended to business.  As usual when Pa was away Adam had been left in charge of everything at the ranch, including his youngest brother.  That alone was a daunting task for the second in command and for his young charge, it was a force to be reckoned with.

 

Joe resented the fact that Adam was boss.  It seemed to Joe that Adam always managed to find the very worst of chores, work or even errands for him to do while in control.  Even this morning Adam had sent him on a number of uninteresting and boring tasks. 

 

First the morning chores had to be completed, which really did not bother Joe; he did those every day anyway.  But then he had to do Hoss’ and part of Adam’s chores as well.  Joe had fumed, he had made plans to meet with his friends and discuss arrangements for their upcoming fishing trip.  But when Adam claimed he had too much paper work to do to tend to his barn and yard chores, he then assigned them to his younger brother.  As the morning had eased its way into afternoon Adam had suddenly claimed that he wasn’t feeling well.  He had given Joe orders to ride into town, collect the mail, stop at the mercantile, pick up papers at the bank for him and then come straight home.  Joe usually enjoyed a trip into town, but his brother had left him no time for enjoying the day and had insisted that he not dally, having given him a set time in which to accomplish his errands or face the consequences when arriving home.  Joe had been furious when his brother had then dismissed him as if he had been no more than one of the hired hands and gone to his room for a nap.

 

Not wanting a repeat of his brother’s lectures, which Joe considered worse than his father’s, Joe had sullenly ridden off into town to do his brother’s bidding. Things had taken longer than he had intended them too and as the afternoon wore on, Little Joe’s bad mood continued to worsen.

 

Joe had just finished his last errand and as he emerged from the bank his path crossed with that of his best friend, Mitch Devlin.  The two fifteen year olds had stood chatting about their up coming fishing and camping trip and had lost time of the hour.  Joe suddenly realized that the sun had moved, dropping lower into the fading blue Nevada sky.

 

Joe urged Cochise on.  Adam was sure to be nearing his boiling point by now, having stressed the point of not dallying, Joe realized too late that he was in for it when he faced his brother.   Joe tried to think of an excuse for his tardiness that would satisfy Adam and would hopefully get him off the hook.  The idea of just confessing to his brother that he had had to wait his turn at the mercantile, wait for the postmaster to sort the mail and then wait again at the bank before finally running into Mitch and then having lost time chatting did not even enter his mind.  Adam would have taken the truth, considered the waiting lines, took the boy’s age into consideration and probably have let him off with a gentle reprimand and that would have been the end of it.  But Joe’s bad mood tossed together with his over-active adolescent mind was not running in that direction, for some reason he always expected the worst when it came to confronting his oldest brother.

 

Dusk had settled in by the time the boy and his horse reached home.  The first thing that Joe noticed when he rode into the yard was that there were no lights on in the house.  The boy smiled to himself and briefly wondered whether Adam was still napping.  If so, he thought as he hurried into the barn to care for his horse, maybe he could use that to his advantage.

 

As soon as Joe finished with tending Cochise, he worked fast at finishing his and Hoss’ evening chores.  Thinking it might help to put his older brother in a better frame of mind, and seeing as to how Adam had not even started his own chores, Joe also did those as well before he at last entered the house. Joe smiled in satisfaction to himself and his foul mood began to lessen.

 

The house was dark and silent as Joe entered and he shivered slightly at the eerie feelings that invaded his body. Quickly he lit the lamp on the credenza just inside the door and then moved to light the lamp that stood beside the red leather chair in front of the fireplace. 

 

Joe was surprised somewhat that Adam had allowed the fire to nearly die out in the large fireplace and he began to place small pieces of kindling to the dying embers letting the fire catch.  When the flames grew bigger he added larger logs that would keep the fire going at least until he retired for the night.

 

Not wanting to face his brother just yet and with his tummy rumbling, Joe went to the kitchen to make himself something to eat.  The kitchen remained the same as when he had left after lunch, which told the boy that his brother had not been in to make something for himself.  Joe wondered briefly if Adam had been sleeping the whole day and laughed to him self at the thought and then sobered when he remembered that Adam was not the type to do things such as sleep the day away unless he really was feeling poorly.  Joe crammed the last of his sandwich into his mouth, washed it down with a glass of milk and then went in search of his brother.

 

“Adam?” shouted Little Joe as he stopped to stoke the fire once more.  “Hey Adam!” Joe called again but still did not receive an answer.  Hazel eyes turned toward the stairs as if the boy expected to see his older brother suddenly appear.  Minutes later Joe had the fire blazing, warming the great room that suddenly seemed too cold to the boy who cast troubled eyes about the room and felt small goose bumps rising on his arms.

 

‘Something’s not right,’ Joe told him self as his stomach seemed to do a flip-flop, making him suddenly queasy.  Joe started up the stairs calling softly for his brother, knowing in his heart that it was unlikely that Adam had napped this long.

 

“Adam?” Joe called as he stopped at his own bedroom door and peered into the dark room not really expecting to find anything.  At Hoss’ door the boy did the same before finally moving to Adam’s door where he paused briefly.  Joe took a deep breath to slow the rapid beat of his heart and knocked softly on the door.  When he received no permission to enter, he gently and quietly opened the door and stepped inside.

 

The room was in total darkness, the windows had been shut and the heavy drapes pulled closed shutting out the last rays of evening light.  The odor that assaulted Joe’s nose caused him to gag slightly.  Joe was in fear of losing his sandwich he had just eaten.  It was obvious that his brother had indeed been sick for the air reeked of vomit.  Joe reached for the matches that sat next to the lamp stuck one and putting the small flame to the lamp’s wick, brought light into the room.  Turning to the window Joe pulled back the drapes and opened the window just enough to allow fresh air to enter the room and sticking his head part way out drew in a deep breath filling his lungs with the cool night air.

 

Joe’s eyes sought out his brother’s still form lying face down on the bed.  “Adam,” called out Joe in a panic as he moved quickly to the bed and reached out his hand to place it on the sleeping man’s shoulder intending to wake his brother.  Instantly Joe pulled back as if his hand had touched a hot fire.  Adam was burning with fever and Little Joe’s heartbeat increased its tempo as the heart filled with fear and worry.

 

Joe crawled onto the bed beside of Adam to make turning the older boy onto his back easier.  Adam’s face was drenched in sweat, his hair was ruffled and damp and he moaned softly as if in pain.  “Adam, wake up.  Please Adam,” cried Joe when Adam made no response to his gentle prodding.

 

Joe placed his hand on the sweating brow and grimaced as the heat radiated into his open palm.  Joe gave his brother another shake, this time a little more forceful.  “Adam, come on, please.  Can you hear me?” cried Joe in a pleading voice.  Fear’s fingers tightened around the young boy’s heart threatening to still rapid beating and Joe felt his eyes fill with tears.

 

From the far corners of his darkness, Adam could hear the voice crying out to him.  He knew the voice; it belonged to his youngest brother.  But why was the boy pleading with him, what was wrong?  Adam fought to answer the voice, to reach out to that someone, but he was so tired and so sick that when the pleading voice stopped calling for him, he gave up trying.

 

Joe pulled himself from the bed and gently placed a pillow under the head of his brother.  Next Joe pulled Adam’s boots from his feet and tossed them into the floor.  Raising his brother’s long legs Joe pulled the covers from beneath Adam’s body and with care Joe covered his brother, making sure that he tucked the blankets all around the edges.

 

Suddenly Adam’s body began to tremble and more of the soft moans escaped from his parched lips.  “Adam?” Joe said in a whispered voice in hopes that the sick young man would open his eyes. Joe’s eyes never left those of his brother’s and he watched as Adam’s eyelids fluttered and tried to open.

 

From somewhere within the dark recesses of his mind, Adam could once again hear his name being called and he struggled to respond.  Joe, it was Joe who kept calling out to him.  The boy still sounded frightened, something must be wrong Adam’s mind kept telling him. ‘Hold on little buddy, I’m coming,’ shouted Adam but made no sound that Joe could hear other than the soft moans.

 

Adam licked his dry lips trying to bring moisture to them.  The eyelids fluttered again and moments later opened.  Adam swallowed, finally able to speak in a weakened voice.  “Water,” begged the sick man.  Joe ran to the pitcher and seeing that it was empty returned to the bedside.

 

“I’ll be right back Adam, I promise.  I have to get some water,” cried Joe as he ran from the room and to the kitchen to bring the fresh water and cloths to bathe his brother’s fevered brow.

 

When Joe returned Adam had his eyes closed.  Joe poured the cool liquid into the glass and sat on the edge of the bed next to his brother.

 

“Adam, wake up.”  Joe gave a sigh or relief when he saw the long dark lashes begin to flutter once again and then open.  Joe smiled his relief and offered Adam the glass. 

 

“Here, drink this,’ Joe said as he helped raise his brother’s head enough so that he could hold the glass to Adam’s mouth.

 

Adam drank deeply from the glass’ contents and when his thirst was satisfied he allowed his head to return to the pillows. “Thanks Joe,” he stated softly and watched the fear in the worried eyes that stared back at him.

 

“Joe, it’s going to be okay.  I’ll be alright.”  Adam fought to comfort the frightened boy.

 

Joe placed a cool cloth on Adam’s heated brow and smiled weakly at his brother.  “You just had to pick now to be sick, didn’t ya big brother?  Everyone’s gone from the ranch except you and me.  Couldn’t ya have waited a few days until Pa got home?” teased Little Joe as some of the tension began to leave his body.

 

“Sorry buddy,” replied Adam weakly and suddenly moaned as he grabbed his stomach.  “The pan Joe, quick,” he sputtered as he hung his head over the side of the bed.

 

Joe reached for the pan and placed it to Adam’s mouth just as the sick boy retched.  Joe turned his head, his own stomach becoming squeamish at the nauseating sounds of his brother being sick.  As soon as Adam had finished, Joe handed a clean damp cloth to him and carried the pan from the room and returned minutes later with a clean one in case Adam might have need of one later.

 

Exhausted, Joe pulled the chair up close to the side of the bed and watched as Adam’s eyes closed in sleep.  Joe had fought the first battle of what he knew would be a long night and he felt relieved when he at last heard the steady breathing of his brother, a sure sign that the older boy slept soundly.  Joe debated with himself as to whether or not he should ride for the doctor or to remain where he was.  For now Adam slept so Joe relaxed back into the comforts of the old chair and before long had fallen asleep himself.

 

Much later Joe was awakened by the mournful sounds coming from the bed.  Instantly he was on his feet.  “Adam,” Joe called softly as he placed his hand on the fevered brow.  Adam made no response to the touch other than to continue his moans and tossed his head from side to side.

 

Joe wet the cloth and gently wiped the sweat from Adam’s face.  If possible, Adam’s fever had climbed higher and fear clutched at Joe’s heart once again.  ‘Oh God, help me please, tell me how to help my brother,’ Joe prayed silently.  Joe knew he had to find some way to cool his brother’s feverish body.  He had never known anyone, let alone a member of his own family who had ever felt as hot to the touch as Adam was now.

 

Joe continued with the cool cloths but each time that he turned to dampen the cloth new beads of perspiration would suddenly reappear.  Joe watched in horror as suddenly Adam’s entire body stiffened and began jerking and twisting causing Joe’s eyes to overflow with tears and spill down his cheeks.  Blood appeared at the corners of the sick man’s mouth and the younger boy recognized the fact that Adam was chewing on his tongue.  Immediately Joe rolled the cloth tightly and placed it into his brother’s mouth to stop him from mauling his tongue further.  Using all the strength that he could force from his own tired body, Joe rolled Adam onto his side and removed the pillows from beneath the head of his brother.  Not sure what else to do to help, Joe remained near Adam’s bedside and watched until finally the body stopped convulsing. 

 

Joe wiped away his tears and removed the cloth from Adam’s mouth.  Grabbing a clean cloth and wetting it in the cool water, Joe cleaned the blood from Adam’s face and returned the older boy to his back.  Next Joe gently lifted the sweaty head and placed the pillows underneath.  Joe sat on the edge of the bed feeling as if all of his strength had drained from his weary body.

 

Tired and scared, the younger boy draped his arm across the body of his older brother, lowered his head onto Adam’s chest and wept.  “Please Adam, ya gotta wake up, ya gotta be okay,” cried Little Joe, the sobs catching in his throat and causing him to hiccup.  “I’m scared, I don’t know what to do…please Adam…wake up.”  Joe lay in that position for several minutes before he became aware of a hand gently rubbing the back of his neck.  Slowly, Joe raised his head and peered into the dark clouded eyes of his brother.

 

“Adam!” Joe said in a choked voice as tears of relief replaced tears of fear.

 

Adam gave his brother a weak smile and gently reached up and wiped away the younger boy’s tears.  “Sorry buddy,” Adam mumbled softly.  “You’re doing just fine.”

 

“What happened to ya?  Ya scared the hell outta me!” Joe said.

 

Adam forced a weak smile, “Better not let Pa hear you talking like that.”

 

Joe returned the smile knowing that his brother was right.  Pa would not tolerate his son’s use of foul language and would not hesitate to clean the mouth with a good washing of Hop Sing’s lye soap if his warnings fell upon deaf ears.

 

“Still bossing, heh, big brother?  You nearly scare me to death and yet ya still insist on being the boss!” teased Little Joe as he replaced the damp cloth to the feverish brow.

 

“Joe,” whispered Adam, “listen to me.”  Adam’s voice was beginning to fade and he was starting to have trouble remaining conscience.  “You have to get these clothes off of me.  Then you need to get some ice from the cellar and pack it around my upper body.  Think you can do that little buddy?”  Adam’s eyes flickered twice before closing and Joe watched as his brother’s head rolled to the side and his body relaxed into unconscienceness.

 

Joe quickly pulled the covers back and began doing as Adam had instructed.  First Joe tried to remove the black trousers that Adam wore.  This was no easy task as Adam was a much larger man that his younger brother.  Joe struggled to pull the pants down the length of Adam’s body.  Being unconscience, his brother was like dead weight and Joe felt his eyes fill once again with tears of frustration.  Finally Joe climbed onto the bed and straddling the long body, the trousers were more easily pulled down the muscular legs and slipped over the feet.  Joe jumped from the bed and pulled the covers up to Adam’s waist.  Unbuttoning the dark shirt, the smaller boy tried to pull the larger boy up into a sitting position to slide the shirt over the arms.  Unable to remove the shirt and hold the body in an upright position, Joe gave the shirt a hard jerk from behind causing the material to tear.  Lifting one piece at a time from each arm he was finally able to take the shirt off.  Holding Adam in his arms briefly Joe muttered into his ear, “Sorry about the shirt big brother.”  Carefully, Joe let his brother’s body slide back against the soft folds of the mattress and pillows. 

 

Joe was amazed at the heat that radiated from the still form lying on the bed. Using the cloth he washed the sweat from Adam’s face and continued to wash away the beads of perspiration that glistened on Adam’s arms and shoulders.  The dark hair that amassed his brother’s broad chest was matted and damp from the profuse sweating and Joe worked diligently to clean and cool the heated body, trying to make his brother more comfortable.

 

When Joe finished with his brother’s bathing, he pulled the covers up until they were under the chin and tucked them in all around.  Adam had begun to shiver and his body began trembling.  Joe feared that Adam would have another convulsion and stood as if rooted to the spot until he felt sure that it was safe enough to leave him alone long enough to go to the ice cellar as Adam had instructed.

 

It took several trips to and from the cellar to bring enough ice to satisfy himself that Adam was packed well enough to accomplish what he hoped to do.  Joe sank wearily into the overstuffed chair, rested his head against the soft back and prayed silently for guidance.  Soon he was fast asleep and only when his head fell forward did he awaken with a start.

 

Joe’s eyes searched his brother’s face and saw that Adam rested peacefully.  He felt for fever and sighed in relief to know that Adam’s fever had cooled somewhat.  The rumbling sound in his stomach told Joe that he was hungry and he remembered that he had not eaten since earlier in the evening, several hours ago.

 

Joe walked to the window and peered out, he must have slept longer than he thought for it would be daylight soon he told himself.  Glancing at Adam who was still sleeping deeply, he decided this would be a good time to make himself some breakfast.  Joe moved to the bedside and once again checked his brother’s fever.  Satisfied that he could leave the sick man for a short time he hurried to the kitchen.  Once there he surveyed the mess left from the night before and shrugged his shoulders.  There was no time to do any cleaning, he had to eat, go out to the barn and care for the animals and still keep a close eye on his brother.  The convulsion that Adam had had scared him.  He had never witnessed a person having one before and now wished that he had paid more attention to his teacher when they had discussed in class what to do if you should see a person having one.  Joe’s mind had been elsewhere and now he chided himself for allowing his thoughts to wonder when he should have been paying closer attention.  The lesson that was taught that day might have made this day easier reasoned Joe and he promised himself that from now on he would be more mindful of what Miss Jones was teaching.

 

Joe started the fire in the cook stove and set the coffeepot to brew on the back burner.  A short time later Joe had himself a hastily prepared breakfast of eggs and toast.  Quickly he downed what he could of his meal, leaving the rest on the plate uneaten and wondered if Adam would be able to eat some of the eggs and toast.  He decided to fix a tray just in case his brother was awake and hungry.  As hungry as he himself had been Joe reasoned that Adam was twice as hungry.  He recalled the morning before and remembered that Adam had only taken a few bites before pushing back his plate and knew that the older boy had not even made an attempt at eating any lunch.  By suppertime he had been much to sick and had been napping to think about eating.

 

Carefully Joe carried the breakfast tray to the sick room and was pleased to see that Adam was awake.  Joe set the tray on the table next to the bed and checked for fever.

 

“Fevers down,” smiled Joe.  Adam returned the smile with one of his own, though much weaker.

 

“Something smells good, did you cook it?” asked Adam.

 

“Yeah, if ya can call it cooking.  I don’t know how Hop Sing manages.  Think you could eat some?” Joe questioned hopefully.

 

“I hope so Joe, I’m starving,” Adam smiled up at his brother.

 

Adam turned slightly causing small ice chunks to fall to the floor.  Joe hurried to pull the corners of the wet blanket and tarp he had borrowed from the barn together and removed the remaining ice from around Adam’s body.

 

“Thanks Joe,” Adam said as he pulled himself into a sitting position.  Joe stacked the pillows behind Adam’s back and laid the tray across his lap.

 

“You eat, I’m gonna carry this wet blanket and tarp down to the wash room.  When you’re finished I’ll get you cleaned up and get you a warm nightshirt,” offered Little Joe as he yawned deeply.

 

Adam watched the boy and could see how tired he looked and cursed himself for his own weakness.  “Joe, you look beat buddy.  Why don’t you lie down for a spell?  I’ll be fine.”

 

Joe stopped at the door and turned to face Adam.  “No, I’m fine, really.”  Joe knew he was lying, he felt that he might collapse at any moment.  He knew if he stopped for a breather that he would be out in no time.  “You eat, then we’ll work on making you comfortable.  Then after I get the chores done, I might rest, but not before.  Now eat, please,” added Joe as he left the room.

 

Adam removed the cloth that covered his tray and felt his stomach lurch at the sight of the half-cooked eggs and toast that Joe had tried to prepare for him.  He hated the thoughts of hurting the young boy’s feelings but Adam knew he could not eat.  His stomach was still hurting and queasy and the smell instantly made him gag.  Quickly he covered the tray and set it to the side.  The coffee smelled better and Adam knew he needed liquids rather than soft food so he sipped at the hot brew.  Adam smiled to himself; Joe had made the coffee a mite on the weak side, where their father tended to go much too strong.  At least he tried, thought Adam.  Poor kid, he’s worn his self out taking care of me, not to mention the fact that the boy was scared beyond measure and still trying to keep all of the chores caught up.  Adam feared that if help didn’t arrive soon, his younger brother would also be sick.

 

Joe came into the room and sat down on the side of the bed.  “Feeling better?” he asked.

 

“Some.  Joe, I couldn’t eat anything.  Just the smell nearly made me sick.  I’m sorry that you went to all of that trouble pal,” Adam explained and pointed to the tray.  “Coffee was good though, better than Pa’s,” Adam forced a small laugh.  Joe grinned, Pa’s coffee making was a joke to every coffee drinker on the ranch and both brother’s knew the teasing that their father took when it was his turn to do the brewing.

 

“Joe, what I need is liquids.  Broth, tea, coffee, that sort of thing.  And all that you can force down me.  With this fever jumping up and down, I will dehydrate quickly if I don’t keep pumping them in.  I wanted you to know, just in case I go out on you again, okay?” explained Adam.

 

Joe lowered his head to keep his brother from reading the alarm and uncertainty on his face.  Adam though sensed what was going on with this younger brother and took one of the boy’s hands into his own.  “Don’t worry so much.  You’re doing just fine Joe.  Pa or Hoss could not do any better themselves if they were here,” encouraged Adam.

 

Joe met his brother’s dark eyes and smiled.  “Thanks Adam.  That means a lot, coming from you.”

 

“I meant it buddy.  I’m proud of you.  You will do just fine.  Remember, liquids and cool compresses,” Adam reminded his brother.

 

Joe stood taking the empty coffee cup from Adam’s hand and setting it on the table along with the tray he removed from the bed.  “I won’t forget.  But I sure wish Pa were here.  Maybe I should go for the doctor?” Joe asked, the hope showing on his distraught face.

 

Adam moved the pillows down and laid his head on them.  “Save yourself the ride little brother.  I ran into Paul the other day in town and he told me that he was going to Carson City this week.  They were having some kind of doctor’s convention and he wouldn’t be back until the middle of next week.”  Adam saw the near panic that raced across his brother’s young face before the boy could turn away and it tore at his heart.  The last thing he had wanted to do was to be the cause of anxiety to the boy.   As it was his brother was terrified, worn out from tending to his needs, the chores, and trying to do all of this with little to no rest.

 

“Great, that’s just great,” muttered Joe more to himself than to his older brother.  Looking back at Adam who had closed his eyes, Joe sighed deeply.  “I have work to do.  I’ll be back to check on you in a little while.”

 

“Thanks Joe.  I’ll just rest,” said Adam never opening his eyes.  When he heard the door close softly he opened one eye, peered at the back of the door and smiled. ‘Poor kid,’ he told him self.  He had heard the whispered mutterings of the boy who was trying so hard to keep up a brave front.

 

Joe forced himself not to stop what he was doing though his tired body begged him too. By mid day Joe had completed not only his own chores but also those of both of his brothers.  Hunger gnawed at his insides and Joe finally made his way to the house.

 

‘Pa,’ cried out Joe silently as he headed for the kitchen, ‘I wish you were here.’  Joe felt his eyes filling with tears, ‘I need ya Pa.  Adam needs ya.’ Joe wiped his tears and stood looking around the kitchen. ‘Broth,’ thought Joe, ‘I don’t even know how to make broth!’ 

 

Joe wiped his tears again.  His weariness was becoming more evident as he scanned the kitchen area again moving more slowly and with shoulders slumped.  ‘Tea,’ he remembered Adam saying and moved to find Hop Sing’s herbal tea canister.  Joe checked the fire, added a small amount of wood and put the teakettle on the burner.  Within minutes Joe had the water boiling and poured it into the teapot with the herb tea.  Joe grabbed the last clean cup from the cupboard and putting it with the teapot onto the tray, carried it up stairs to Adam’s room.

 

Adam was sleeping as Joe entered the room placing the tray on the table close to the bed.  Joe placed his hand on his brother’s brow and was shocked at how hot Adam felt.

 

“Hey big brother,” Joe gently shook Adam.

 

“Hmm,” sighed Adam and slowly opened his eyes.  “Joe,” whispered the sick young man as he squinted his eyes trying not to force them opened.  “My head hurts,” he complained quietly.  Adam rubbed his brow and then his eyes. “Could you hand me that wet rag, please?” he asked.

 

Joe wet the cloth in the fresh water he had also carried from the kitchen and watched as his brother laid it over his eyes.  Adam thought how much better that made his eyes feel.  The pressure in his head was causing it to pound in time to the beat of his heart and he rested his head back into the softness of his pillows and willed the pain to go away.

 

Joe poured the hot tea into the cup before sitting down on the side of the bed.  “I made you some tea,” Joe said as Adam removed the cloth from his eyes and worked at pulling himself up into the sitting position.  Joe smiled slightly, “I don’t know how to make broth,” he added sadly as his chin quivered ever so slightly and he fought to control the tears that blurred his vision.

 

Adam took the offered teacup, sipped slowly and returned the boy’s sad smile.  “Tea is fine Joe, really.  It tastes good,” Adam added watching Joe struggling with his emotions.

 

Joe swallowed the lump that was stuck in his throat before he tried to speak.  “I used some of Hop Sing’s herb tea.  That’s what he always makes for me when I’m sick.  So I figured that if I had to drink it, then you should too,” Joe said and finally forced himself to laugh.

 

Joe waited until Adam took another sip of tea before he spoke.  “Adam?”  Joe looked into Adam’s dark eyes and could see the pain his brother was feeling reflecting back at him.

 

“Yeah Joe?” Adam answered as he took another sip and set the cup on the table that Joe had pulled closer to the bed earlier.

 

“Ya reckon Pa and Hoss will come home early?” Joe asked, the hope showing plainly on his tired face.  How he prayed that his father and brother would indeed return home earlier than planned.  He did not know how much longer he could hold out; he was worried about his sick brother and though he refused to admit it, he was still scared.

 

Adam saw the hope flickering in the care-worn eyes and hated to squelch any hope the boy may be holding but he also knew that he had to be truthful as well.

 

“Joe, I doubt it little brother.  You know Pa said he couldn’t possibly even start home until mid-week.  That’s still another day, then no less than two or three days traveling time, if the weather is good.  Adam watched as Joe’s hopes quickly turned to disappointment.  He laid a reassuring hand on the slim shoulder of his brother and felt the small tremors that passed through Joe’s body.

 

“Look at me Joe,” commanded the older brother as he lifted the boy’s quivering chin.  “We will manage.  I promise to try not to be too much of a burden on you,” smiled Adam.

 

Joe’s face reflected his shock.  “Ya ain’t no burden Adam, you’re my brother.”

 

Adam pulled the boy down to his chest until the curly head rested over his heart.  Gently Adam petted the curls that tickled his chin.  “I love you little buddy,” whispered Adam and swallowed the lump that caught in his throat.

 

“I love you too Adam,” replied Joe reluctant to move.  He could hear the beat of Adam’s heart and the sound brought comfort and strength to his own heart.  “I’m scared Adam.  What if…” began Joe.

 

“Shh…nothing bad is going to happen.  At least I’m not planning on anything bad.”  Adam gently squeezed the back of Joe’s neck.  “But if it should, you just remember that I know that you did the very best that you could.  Do you understand me, Joe?  Look at me, do you understand me?” Adam held the slim shoulders with both of his hands and forced his brother to look into his eyes.  “Answer me.”

 

Joe met his brother’s gaze.  “I understand, but I’ll never forgive you if it does,” Joe said and gave his brother a half-hearted grin.  Adam laughed and pulled the boy back down onto his chest. 

 

“We will get through this, together Joe.  Just you and I and we will both be fine, I promise,” said Adam silently praying he was speaking the truth and not giving the boy false hopes.

 

Joe shivered as he continued to chip away at the ice.  Adam’s fever had continued to rise and twice more the sick man had convulsed.  Joe’s nerves were frayed and every muscle in his body was tensed so that he ached from head to toe.  But he had to have the ice ready in case he needed it to pack Adam in the cold chucks once again.  Joe filled the pitcher he had carried with him with small chips of broken ice.  Adam had complained repeatedly of his mouth being dry so Joe thought that possibly his brother could hold the smaller pieces under his tongue until they melted.  The small amounts of water that Adam had tried to drink had only succeeded in making him vomit.  Once when his brother had been retching, Joe had had to grab the water bowl and retch himself.  Joe scolded himself for having a weak stomach but the sounds of his brother gagging had been too much for his empty stomach to bare and he had ended up with the dry heaves.  Afterwards both brothers had exchanged weak smiles and Adam had once again returned to a fitful sleep as Joe had carried the soiled pan and dish from the room. 

 

Now as Joe entered the sick room he saw that Adam was awake but that the face was bathed in sweat and the cheeks rosy red from the heat of the fever that insisted on lingering.  Joe hurried to Adam’s side and offered him small pieces of the chipped ice.

 

“Here Adam, hold some of these in your mouth.  Maybe it will help.”  Joe held the spoonful of chips out to his brother and Adam opened his mouth allowing the younger boy to deposit the cold ice onto his parched tongue.

 

Adam took the glass and spoon from Joe and pointed to the chair next to the bed.  “Sit,” he ordered through clamped teeth so that the chips would not fall from his mouth.

 

“For just a few minutes,” Joe replied as he plopped his weary body into the welcoming comforts of the old chair.

 

Adam swallowed the melted ice and watched Joe as he rested his head.  The fatigue that his young brother felt was written into the fine lines of his young face and did not go unnoticed by the older brother.

 

“Close your eyes Joe.  Just for a few minutes,” Adam instructed.

 

“No Adam, I have…” started Joe but Adam cut him off.

 

“Joe, do as I say.  I may need you later and you won’t be much help if you’re dead on your feet.”  Adam thought a little guilt might cause the boy to stop and think, thus giving him the needed time to rest.

 

Joe did think about Adam’s words and knew that his brother was right.  He had been going at this now for three days and it was taking its toll on his body.  Joe reasoned that he would be no help to Adam if he could not keep his eyes opened so Joe did as he was ordered.

 

“Okay, but only for half an hour or so,” agreed Joe shutting his eyes.  Adam took another spoonful of the ice chips and before they had time to melt Joe was fast asleep in his chair.  Adam smiled to himself, set the glass and spoon on the table and closed his own eyes.

 

When Joe finally woke it was dark outside.  He must have been more tired than he realized, he thought.  He checked Adam’s fever and shook his head in dismay.  Adam’s fever had skyrocketed once again and he was burning up.  Joe ran to the kitchen for more fresh water and hurried back to Adam’s bedside.  After dipping the cloth into the water that he had added small amounts of water too, he washed his brother’s face and brow working down the neck and both arms.  Adam stirred slightly and called out to him.

 

Joe placed the cloth on the fevered brow and leaned close so that Adam might be able to hear.  “I’m here Adam.  Lay still and rest.”  Joe heard his own voice catch in his throat. ‘Another long night,’ he told himself.  ‘Oh Pa, where are you?  Hurry home, please, we need ya.  Pa, please,’ begged Joe’s heart.  Joe sat back down in the chair and rested his head on the side of the bed next to Adam.  ‘I am so exhausted, so drained,’ he mumbled to himself as his eyes closed in sleep.

 

Joe yawned and stretched before rising from the chair and walking to the window.  As he peered out into the darkness he saw that the moon had cast a soft glow onto the yard below allowing him to see the horses that moved about the corral.  Joe watched as the stallion that Adam had recently broken nipped at the neck of a mare as he neared her.

 

Joe’s mind went back to the day that he had watched his brother attempting to ride the big horse.  Time after time the stallion had tossed Adam to the ground and each time he had gotten up, dusted off his hands and mounted the bronco once again.  He and Hoss had teased their older brother unmercifully all the while hiding the pride that they really felt in their young hearts for the older brother who with determination, was finally able to master the animal.

 

Adam moaned softly and Joe turned from the window, closing it a little before moving to the bedside.  Joe watched his brother’s face for any discomfort but saw that Adam, for now, slept peacefully.

 

Joe moved to the bookcase and in the dim light stood reading the titles of the books that Adam had acquired throughout the years.  Without realizing what he was doing, he extended his hand out and gently ran his fingers across the leather bound volumes.  Joe felt his eyes fill with tears as his hand stopped at one worn book, the last in the row.  Carefully Joe removed the book from the shelf and opened the cover, ‘Moby Dick’; his eyes clouded again as his eyes remained glued to the title.

 

How many times over the years as a small boy had he crawled into the lap of the young man who now lay fighting the fever that raged within his body, and had listened in awe as his brother read to him?  Sighing deeply, Joe closed the book and returned it to its proper place in the bookcase.  Joe slowly walked back to the chair which remained as close as possible to the ailing brother and fervently prayed that he would once again be allowed to hear his brother read to him from his favorite story.

 

Joe leaned back and closed his eyes.  As sleep claimed his tired body, sweet memories invaded his dreams.  He could see Adam as the older boy helped him through the window and onto the roof of the house.  Joe was seven, Adam nineteen and Hoss who was thirteen was stuck in the chimney.  It was Christmas Eve and Joe had insisted that Hoss try going down the chimney just to be sure that Santa could fit.  Adam had gotten caught up in the scheme surprising not only his brothers but their father as well. That Christmas had been special, Adam had worked hard keeping the magic going one last Christmas time just for his sake.

 

It was the sound of his own laughter that woke him from his happy dream.  Adam was awake and Joe was surprised when he saw the small smile that caused the face to dimple.

 

“Must have been a good dream,” the ill man said weakly.

 

Joe could feel his face reddening as Adam continued to stare at him.

 

“I was remembering the Christmas that Hoss got stuck in the chimney,” he laughed.

 

“Ah, how could I ever forget?  Hoss was stuck, my face was black and all three of us were caught red handed when Pa came home early,” Adam laughed.

 

Joe’s eyes began to sparkle and he giggled as he shared the memory with his brother.

 

“Boy, I thought our goose was cooked for sure when Pa walked into the house and saw Hoss’ boots dangling in his chimney.  But then when he started laughing, I thought something was bad wrong with him.”

 

“True, but then he told us about the time that he and Uncle John did the very same thing,” added Adam.  Adam closed his eyes and Joe sat down on the bed.

 

“Are you feeling alright Adam?”  Joe’s voice had lost its laughter and had taken on a tone of concern.

 

Adam opened his dark eyes suddenly when he recognized the anxiety in the boy’s voice.  “Joe, I’m okay.  Don’t worry so.  My head still hurts some but I was just resting my eyes,” Adam reassured his anxious brother.

 

“If you’re sure,” Joe said rising from the bed and moving to the bookcase.  His hand briefly touched the last book on the shelf.  Turning to Adam, he asked, “Want me to read to you?”

 

Adam had seen where Joe’s hand had stopped and knew that the last volume had always been his youngest brother’s favorite.  Sensing how his brother must be feeling and wanting to put the boy’s fears to rest, he agreed.  “Sure Joe, why don’t you pick one?” suggested Adam knowing full well that Moby Dick would be his brother’s choice.

 

Joe instantly pulled Moby Dick from the shelf and returned to his seat.  Opening the cover of the book he briefly glanced at his brother and returned the smile before beginning his oral reading.  An hour later both Adam and Joe were fast asleep, Adam propped against the pillows and the book laying opened across Little Joe’s lap.  Later the book fell to the floor and without waking, the boy moved so that he might rest his head on the bedside next to his brother.

 

Later to Joe’s dismay, Adam’s fever had spiked once again and Joe worked with cooling the over heated body.  Adam thrashed from side to side and it took all of the younger boy’s strength just to keep the sick man from falling out of bed.  Into the wee hours of the morning and then only when Adam’s strength had drained and he had fallen into a fitful slumber did Joe allow himself to return his head to the bed next to his brother and close his wear eyes.

 

Joe woke when he felt a hand on his head and when he raised up he looked into the smiling face of his brother.  Adam looked better this morning, his face had lost some of the redness caused by the fever and his eyes seemed to have a brightness to them that had been missing since he had been ill.

 

“Good morning sleepy head,” smiled Adam as he watched his brother attempt to rub the sleep from his eyes.

 

“Hey, big brother,” yawned Joe.  “How ya feelin’?” he asked as he stretched and then rubbed his lower back trying to work the stiffness out.

 

Adam watched the boy as he moved around and realized that the boy had not gotten much sleep.  Sometime very late into the night Adam’s fever had reached an all time high, the boy had worked for hours bathing his brow and face with the ice chilled water.  Finally just before dawn the fever had at last broken and both brothers had collapsed into sleep, though Joe had only rested with his head on the side of the bed.  Adam had felt the boy reach for his hand during those early hours and in his sleep the younger brother had held tightly to his older brother.  Adam now saw the relief that was plainly written across the face of his kid brother and he smiled up at him.

 

“Thanks to you my little hero, I feel better, much better,” Adam complimented the boy.  “You did a great job, Joe.  You will always be my hero.  I figure, if you had not been here, I would have very likely have died,” smiled Adam his face taking on a serious expression.  “Thank you Joe, for everything,” he added as he reached for the boy’s hand and pulled him down onto the bed and drew him to his breast. 

 

Joe wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck and both brothers gave the other a tight hug.  “I told you we would make it, didn’t I?” asked Adam as he pulled Joe back so that he might better be able to see the boy’s face.  Joe’s eyes had filled with tears and though he tried, he could not stop them.  Adam realized that this was his brother’s way of releasing the tension that he had been harboring for the last four days and drew the boy to him once again and allowed him to cry until his tears were spent.

 

Feeling somewhat embarrassed by his tears; Joe at last pulled back from his brother’s embrace and wiped at the last of his tears as they rolled off his chin.  Joe smiled broadly at his brother and stood from the bed.  “I’ll bring you some breakfast then I have to catch up on the chores.  Pa and Hoss should be back tomorrow and I am way behind on the work.”

 

“Joe, I think when Pa finds out what all you have done, he won’t be so concerned about what you didn’t do.  Besides, I’m on your side, he won’t be angry, I promise,” Adam encouraged.

 

Joe looked hopefully at his brother, “Let’s hope you’re right big brother.  Think you could eat some eggs and toast this time, providing of course I cook them done?” laughed Joe.

 

Adam joined in the laughter, “Make sure they are well done little brother, I detest runny eggs.  I don’t like them squawking at me while I’m trying to eat them.”

 

Joe giggled and turned to leave the room.  “I’ll bring you some coffee too.”

 

“Joe, before you go, would you mind handing me my writing paper and that pencil from my desk, please?” asked Adam as he pulled his pillows in behind him so that he could sit in an upright position.  “And that tablet to hold the paper.”

 

Joe gathered the items that Adam had requested and handed them to his brother.  “What’ca gonna do?  Write a letter?  Or is that your last will and testament?” laughed Joe, curious as to what his brother was going to do.

 

Adam returned the smile and looked up at his younger brother.  Adam had something in mind that he wanted to do for this boy who had dedicated his life to caring for him during his illness the last several days.  He was proud, very proud indeed, of his brother and he had meant it when he had said that Joe was his hero.

 

“Well, it is in a way a testament, but not my last, I hope.  You will see later, now how about my eggs?  I am starving, and I know you must be too, now get,” laughed Adam as he tossed a pillow at his brother.

 

Joe saw the pillow headed in his direction and shut the door before it could make contact with his head.  Joe opened the door just enough to show his face and stuck his tongue out at his brother. Adam made a grab for the second pillow and acted as if he were fixing to throw that one at his brother also but Joe saw the sudden movement and slammed the door shut.   Adam could hear the boy’s laughter as he walked down the hall and Adam smiled to himself.

 

Adam stared at the blank paper and shortly began writing.  The words seemed to flow onto the paper as he wrote.  He had debated with himself over several ideas as to what to do for his young brother who had worked so hard at helping him through his sickness and had finally decided on this particular thing he was now working on.  He liked this idea best and thought that perhaps Joe would too.

 

Joe was back a short time later and carried with him the breakfast tray and coffee.  He also brought his own breakfast so that he could eat with his brother.  “Hope these eggs are better this time,” laughed Little Joe as he sat the tray on the table and turned to his brother.

 

“I’m so hungry little brother, I think this morning I could eat almost anything,” smiled Adam as he sat his writing materials off to the side to make room for the tray that Joe placed across his lap. 

 

Adam and Joe ate their breakfast in companionable silence until Joe at last stood from his seat.  “Pa and Hoss should be home tomorrow, I’d better get busy.  I’ll just be in the barn and yard, so I’ll open the window a little more and if you need me, you call, okay?”

 

“I’ll be fine Joe, don’t worry. I think I might even venture to go downstairs for a little while.  This room is beginning to close in on me and the odor isn’t doing much for my stomach either,” Adam informed his brother.

 

“Adam, do you think you really should?  It’s sorta soon, your fever just broke.”  Joe cast troubled eyes on his brother.  The last thing Joe wanted right now was for his brother to have a relapse and be sick all over again. 

 

“Joe, if I don’t get out of here for a while, I’ll go crazy.  You know what it is to have to stay in bed forever, or have you forgotten?” teased Adam.

 

“I ain’t forgot.  It’s just that I never get to go downstairs so soon after being sick.  Pa is always here to make me stay put and if he doesn’t then you or Hoss do it for him.”  Joe laughed and Adam couldn’t help but join him. 

 

It was true, poor Joe.  Adam was beginning to see why his brother had always hated to be the youngest, everyone, himself included, was always telling the boy what to do, when to do it and why to do it.  And, he thought shamefully, the praise was always slow in coming and sometimes forgotten altogether.  It must be hard for the boy, being the last in line, always knowing that what you have accomplished had already been accomplished by one of your older and larger brothers.  To be the last to learn something new that had been learned years before by the same two brothers, thought Adam.   Joe must feel as if he is walking in our shadows.  What’s left for him to discover that Hoss or I have not yet discovered?  How must the kid really feel?  No wonder he has such short fuses so much of the time.  Hoss and I are constantly getting all the glory for things and poor Joe just gets our crumbs.  No wonder he was always complaining about things not being fair continued Adam with his thoughts.  Seeing it as Joe would probably see it, it really wasn’t fair.  Where would either he or Hoss be if Joe had not been a part of their lives?  Didn’t the boy know how much they loved him, worshipped him nearly?  Didn’t he realize that any of them would willingly lay down their lives to protect him and keep him safe?  No, probably not, we forget to tell him.  Instead we boss, yell, tease, criticize, blame, chastise, and poke fun at him.  We are always reminding him that he is still a kid, referring to him as ‘boy’ and telling him that he will always be the baby in the family. No wonder he thinks we don’t care about how he feels, we give him the impression that we really don’t, when in fact we care a great deal. Adam felt shame flow through him and he sighed deeply trying to wash away the feeling.

 

Adam hoped to change that, the boy had more than proved that he was capable of handling things in a crisis.  Adam shuttered to think what might have happened to himself during the last few days had his young brother not been here to take over for him.  As far as Adam was concerned, he owed Joe his life, and this time he would not forget the praise.

 

Joe helped Adam get cleaned up and dressed before helping him downstairs.  Joe didn’t like the idea of leaving Adam alone in the house to fend for himself, but he knew that he had to care for the livestock, muck out the stables, which had not been done for two days.  He had to at sometime try to clean Hop Sing’s kitchen before the little China man came home and saw what a mess he had left it in.  He had to gather the eggs, the chicken coop needed to be cleaned out and it was already mid-morning.

 

“I’ll see ya later, call me if ya need anything,” said Joe as he grabbed his hat from the peg and went out the door.

 

Adam sat down in his blue chair and stretched out his long legs.  It felt good to be out of his bedroom.  The air downstairs was fresher; his room had taken on that sick smell when a prolonged illness lingered.  Adam picked up the paper he had been scribbling on and read again the words he had written.  Twice more he read them aloud so that he could hear with his own ears how the words sounded when put together.   With the pencil he started marking out some words, adding others here and there and finally held it up to read it aloud once again.  Satisfied with what he had written, he then picked up his guitar and began strumming.  Before long he had managed to work out a melody and set the words he had written to that tune.  Again he made small changes until at last he was pleased with how he had put together the lyrics and the music.  He laid aside his work and stretched.  Suddenly tired and not wanting to tackle the stairs by himself he moved to the settee, stretched out his long body and shut his eyes.  Soon sleep claimed him.

 

While Adam napped, Joe worked non-stop on the chores.  He turned Cochise and Sport out into the corral so they could move around more freely.  Then he mucked out the stalls and spread fresh hay.  When he finished there he went into the tack room and giving a sigh of relief, found that the room was fairly clean.  Stopping just long enough to pick up a halter that had fallen from its peg and return it he closed the door and went out, pleased with what he had accomplished is such a short time.  Next he gathered the eggs from the hen house and carried them to the kitchen.  Joe came from the kitchen into the great room to check on Adam and found him sleeping peacefully on the settee.  The room seemed chilly to Joe so he took the Indian blanket from its place on the railing and covered Adam with it.  Next, Joe added more logs to the fire and when the fire had built to his satisfaction, Joe quietly went out to finish his work. 

 

By the time early afternoon had arrived, Joe had completed nearly all of his chores, the yard and barn chores and even managed to chop a small pile of wood for the fire.  He gathered several of the smaller pieces in his arms and carried them to the kitchen to be used in the cooking stove.  Joe stuck his head around the corner of the kitchen and was pleased to see that Adam had awakened and was sitting up.

 

Joe brought some sandwiches out to the dining table and went back to the kitchen for the coffee and cups.  After several minutes he returned to the dining room where Adam had already helped himself to one of the sandwiches.

 

“I had to wash you a cup, everything in the kitchen is dirty.  Hop Sing is gonna kill me if he gets back before I get it cleaned up,” said Joe as he sank into his chair and smiled weakly at his brother.  “I’ll clean it up after we eat.”

 

Adam watched as Joe slowly nibbled at a sandwich and could see the eyes drooping slowly.  ‘He’s exhausted and worn completely out,’ thought Adam.  “After you eat Joe, I need you to help me back to my bed.  I think I will stretch out up there for awhile.”

 

“Sure,” answered the boy softly as his head nodded gently downwards.

 

“Come on little buddy, I think you need a nap worse than I do.”  Adam rose from his seat and slipped his arm under Joe’s and together the two brothers made their way to the stairs.  Working together each one thinking they were helping the other, they slowly climbed the steps.

 

“Let’s use your bed Joe.  My room needs a good airing.”  Adam opened the heavy door and led Joe inside.  Watching his younger brother’s face, Adam smiled; the boy was practically asleep on his feet.  With a swift movement, Adam had managed to pull the covers back and help Joe to sit on the bed.  In a minute he had the boy’s boots removed but before he could pull the pants off, Joe’s upper body had fallen backward across the bed.  Adam lifted Joe’s legs and moved them onto the mattress.  He then rolled the boy over onto his side and pulled the blankets up to his shoulders.

 

Joe opened his eyes briefly and began muttering.  “Adam,” he called in a very low voice.

“Stay with me, just in case,” whispered Joe and patted the side of the bed next to him. He was afraid that Adam might be sick again and he wouldn’t hear him if his brother needed his assistance.  And he wouldn’t admit it even to himself, but he didn’t want to be left all alone either, he wanted the reassurance that Adam’s presence left him with.

 

Adam thought that if he refused, the boy would not remain in the bed.  “Alright Joe, but I have to get a couple of things first.  You rest and I’ll be right back,” agreed Adam.

 

“Promise?”  The question had been nearly unintelligible.

 

“I promise.”  Adam left the room and gathered the things he wanted and returned minutes later.  He slipped his own boots from his feet and decided to get comfortable so he stripped down to his long johns and crawled under the covers with his brother.  As he laid his head into the soft folds of the pillow, he felt his body grow weary.  He had stayed up much longer than he had planned and now it was taking a toll on him.  Adam shut his eyes and before long, both brothers were sleeping peacefully.

 

“We should be home by 10:00 Pa. What’ca think Adam and Joe have been up to?” laughed Hoss as he thought about his two brothers who had remained behind.  They had both wanted to be the ones to go with their father to Sacramento but when the straws had been drawn, Adam and Little Joe had pulled the losing two.  He and Hop Sing had for the first time both managed to have the winning lengths.

 

“Probably Adam has had his hands full keeping that young scamp brother of yours out of trouble, I dare say.  Adam has probably had to do not only his chores but also yours and most of Joe’s as well.  You know as well as I that Joseph can be very difficult for your older brother when I am gone,” grinned Ben.  “Let’s just hope Adam has managed to keep things running smoothly.  I am tired, I want nothing more than to get home, grab a bite to eat and crawl into my own bed.  I am too old to be sleeping on the ground again tonight.”

 

“I know what ya mean Pa, about sleeping on the ground, I got cold last night.  We should have taken the stage like Hop Sing plans on, exceptin’ I didn’t wanna wait another two days to get home.  I sorta miss them brothers of mine,” confessed Hoss.

 

“Let’s not tell them though, but I miss them too,” laughed Ben.

 

It was past 10:00 p.m. by the time that father and son entered the yard.  Together they took their horses into the barn and tended to their needs.  “Well, at least it looks like one of them kept the barn cleaned out,” commented Hoss and then the large boy laughed.  “It was my turn, that means Adam probably had to do it cause little brother would have put up a fuss about it not being his turn.”

 

Ben joined his middle son in the little joke, “yes, that sounds like Joseph.  ‘Never do anything that you can talk your older brother into doing for you’, that’s Joe’s way of thinking.”

 

“Aw Pa, wonder if that kid will ever learn the meaning of responsibility?” asked Hoss as he pushed his over sized hat back on his head and then tossed his saddle across the rail.

 

Ben shook his head, “I fear that we have several years ahead of us before we see that happening, but, I love him just the same.”

 

“Yeah, me too.  Joe is just…Joe.  I wouldn’t want him any other way,” agreed Hoss as he and his father headed for the house.  “Hey Pa, wonder why all the lights are out?  Think they’re already in bed?” 

 

Ben had noticed that the lights were not burning in the house but had not really given it much thought due to the later hour.  Joe was suppose to be in bed no later than 9:00 p.m. so Ben thought that perhaps Adam had turned in early also.  Neither boy was expecting them to return until tomorrow so they would not have waited up.

 

“Joe better be, it’s past his bedtime.  Adam probably just turned in early.  Probably had a busy day, look at that wood box, it’s full.  And looks as if Adam split some of those logs as well,” Ben pointed to the pile of wood that had been split and stacked in a neat pile next to the house.  “No wonder he’s already in bed.”

 

Ben and Hoss entered the house and removed their hats, coats and side arms. Ben lit the lamp on the credenza and surveyed the room.  Everything looked as it should, neat and clean.  Only Adam’s guitar was out of place, instead of propped against his blue chair, it rested on the settee.  Ben picked it up and returned it to its proper place.

 

“Let’s grab a snack then turn in,” suggested Ben and moved to the kitchen, Hoss close on his heels.  Ben stopped suddenly causing Hoss to bump into him.

 

“What’s wrong Pa?” asked Hoss peering over his father’s shoulder.  Suddenly Hoss’ clear blue eyes seemed to double in size as he took in the scene before him. “Whew…” he let his breath out slowly, “Will ya lookit this mess?”

 

“I am looking,” growled Ben.  “Don’t those two brothers of yours know how to wash dishes?  There isn’t a clean dish in this kitchen.  And what is this?” Ben wrinkled up his nose and pointed to something on a plate.

 

Hoss stared down at the molded glob and scrunched up his face, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

 

“Just you wait until morning, I will have both their hides for leaving this kitchen in this kind of mess.  I’m going to bed, no way am I eating something from in here.”  Ben turned and walked out of the kitchen and started up the back stairs that led from the kitchen.

 

“I don’t think I’m hungry any more either.”  Hoss turned down the lights and joined his father on the stairs. “Night Pa,” Hoss patted his father’s back.

 

“Good night son, God bless.”  Ben stopped first at Adam’s bedroom door and quietly knocked. Ben gently opened the door and peered inside.  The smell that emitted from the room instantly told him that someone had recently been sick, namely Adam.  His eyes searched the bed and when he realized that his oldest was not in the room he quickly stepped back into the hall and closed the door on the odor. 

 

Ben moved down the hall to Joe’s room and foregoing knocking, pushed the door opened and stepped inside. His eyes went instantly to the bed where he found his oldest son sitting propped against the pillows. The lamp was burning low and Ben had to step closer to the bed to see the older boy’s face.  He was sleeping soundly.  Beside him on the bed lay Joe who was curled into a ball and snoring softly. Ben reached out and laid his hand on Adam’s shoulder.  “Adam?” whispered Ben so as not to wake the younger boy.

 

At his father’s touch Adam opened his eyes.  “Pa?” He smiled, “you made it home.”

 

Ben sat on the edge of the bed next to his son. “What’s going on?  Who’s been sick?  I stopped in at your room and could tell someone had been sick enough to throw up.  You or the boy there?”

 

“Pa, it’s a long story.  But to make it quick, I have been very ill.  Joe here has taken care of all the chores and of me.  He has worn himself completely out.  Poor kid has been sleeping for several hours as it is.”

 

Ben watched his son’s face and could tell even in the dim light that the boy’s features held the look of someone who had been ill for several days.  “What happened?  Are you feeling better now?”

 

“I’m tired and a little weak, but other than that, I’ll be fine Pa.  Joe here nursed me back to health.  Poor kid, I must have scared him to death.  My fever was very high and I think I must have had some convulsions.  Now, don’t get that look on your face.  I told you I am fine now.  The fever broke very early this morning,” Adam assured his father.

 

Ben couldn’t stop his hand from reaching out and feeling his son’s brow for fever. “You seem cool enough now.  Why are you in here?”

 

“Pa, my room needs to be aired.  Neither Joe nor I could stand another night sleeping in there.  Not that Joe has had much sleep, he hasn’t.  He’s been with me around the clock, except for going out and tending to the chores.”

 

Ben smiled, “Guess that explains the mess in the kitchen.”

 

Adam nodded his head in agreement.  “You saw that already I take it?”

 

“I saw.  Just wait til Hop Sing gets here tomorrow and sees it.  He’ll probably go back to China!” laughed Ben softly.

 

“Pa, don’t be mad at Joe.  He did all he could, really, you would have been proud of him.  I know I am.” Adam explained to his father all that Joe had done and how well the young boy had nursed him.  Adam added that he had feared that had Joe not been around, he himself might not be there now. 

 

Hoss stuck his head in the door and whispered,  “I heard ya talkin’.  Ya okay Adam?  How’s Little Joe?”  The worry could be heard in his voice and he wanted to know what was going on and why Adam was in bed with Joe.

 

“We’re both okay Hoss.  Go to bed, I know you must be tired,” turning to Ben he smiled.  “Pa, you go on to bed too.  I’ll stay here with my little hero tonight.  Tomorrow we can air my room, then I can get back into my own bed.”

 

Ben stood and Adam snuggled down into the bed.  “Night Pa.  I’m glad you’re home.”  Ben pulled the covers up around Adam’s chest and moved to the opposite side of the bed. A stray curl had fallen onto Joe’s brow and Ben could not resist the urge to gently push it back.  Leaning down he placed a kiss on his son’s cheek and glanced at Adam.

 

“Good night son.  I’m glad you’re feeling better.  Call me if you need anything,” Ben said.

 

“I will, see you in the morning.”  Adam turned over onto his side and slipped his arm across the sleeping boy next to him.  Ben smiled at the sight and gently closed the door.

 

Hoss stood in the hall waiting for his father and still wanting answers.  “Is everythin’ okay in there Pa?” he asked with baited breath.

 

Ben clamped his hand on the large shoulder of his middle son.  “I have an idea that everything is perfect in there, son.  Adam has been very sick; Joe has worn himself out taking care of not only your older brother but things around this ranch as well.  This, I might add, is in direct contradiction to our earlier conversation we had on his ability to take responsibility for things.”

 

“Little brother did all the chores?  Mucking out the barn, chopping all that wood, and takin’ care of Adam?”  Hoss seemed surprised.  Maybe he had short-changed his youngest brother.

 

“According to Adam,” smiled Ben.

 

Hoss shook his head slowly, “Gosh Pa, now I feel bad about the things I said about Joe earlier.” 

 

“Hoss, you didn’t mean anything bad, I know that, now go to bed son, it’s late.  Adam and Joe will no doubt fill us in on everything in the morning.  Good night son, God bless.”  Ben left Hoss still standing in the hall and entered his own room.  As he closed the door he noticed that Hoss had slipped quietly into Joe’s room.  Ben knew how his son felt, he wanted to assure himself that both his oldest and his youngest brother was okay.

Minutes later Ben heard the door softly open and then close and could hear the sounds of Hoss’ bare feet tiptoeing against the floor as he made his way to his own room.

 

It was nearly noon when Little Joe woke with a start from a sound sleep.  Instantly he realized that Adam was no longer in the room with him and wondered where his brother might be.  Jumping from the bed and grabbing his trousers and shirt Joe quickly pulled them on.  As he started for the door he remembered his boots and snatched them from the foot of the bed where they had been tossed.  When Joe opened the door he could hear talking downstairs and right away recognized his father’s voice.  With excitement building at the sight of seeing his father, Joe ran down the stairs making loud clomping sounds on the wooded steps as he descended.

 

Ben looked up from his seat at his desk and when his eyes met those of his youngest son, his face broke into a welcoming smile.  Joe bounded with joy into his father’s opened arms and he wrapped his own arms around his father’s neck.  Ben’s arms engulfed the boy and he squeezed tightly as Joe smothered his father’s face with kisses.  Adam and Hoss stood close by and exchanged smiles with one another both knowing what a welcomed sight it was for the father and son to be reunited.

 

“I think he’s happy to see you, Pa,” laughed Adam.  He knew very well that the young boy was happy that their father had at last gotten home.  He knew how hard this youngest brother of his had worked and cared for him and knew that Joe was glad now to pass part of the heavy responsibility back to his father.

 

Ben continued to maintain his hold on Joe and smiled back at Adam.  “It appears to be so,” he laughed.

 

Joe looked up at this father and with one last hug turned to wrap his arms around the mid-section of his middle brother.  “I’m glad to see you too, Hoss.  I just wish you guys could have gotten home about four days ago,” he laughed.

 

“Aw shucks, Short Shanks,” beamed Hoss, “big brother here’s been tellin’ us what all ya dun for him.  Sounds ta me like ya didn’t need our help,” Hoss praised Little Joe.  “He even seems ta think you’re some kind of hero or somethin’.”  The pride could be heard in his voice as he held his arms around Joe’s shoulders. 

 

Adam had taken this morning while Joe had slept soundly to tell his father and brother all that had been going on in their absence.  He had also confided in them his feelings about how he and Hoss were always ragging the boy about unimportant things and how he suspected the boy felt about their doing so.  It shamed him to a degree to know that they had been angering the boy unknowingly with their words and actions.  Hoss agreed with his older brother and as Ben listened to their conversation, he was pleased when both brothers promised each other that from now on they would treat their younger brother with more understanding and respect. 

 

Joe stepped back from Hoss’ embrace and watched the faces of his family members.  “What?” he asked, wondering why all of them were looking at him with those funny looks on their faces.  “What have I done now?”  Joe was getting suspicious though the only thing he could think of that he might have done was to sleep until noon and then he remembered Hop Sing’s kitchen.

 

Joe turned to his father. “It’s the kitchen, right?”

 

Ben burst into laughter, “Well, the kitchen was a mess but Hoss and I cleaned it up for you.” 

 

Ben continued his laughing.  Hoss and Adam couldn’t help but join in when Joe let his breath out in a huff, relief showing plainly on his handsome young face. “Joseph, for once you have done everything right.  Sit down, please.  I think Adam has something to say to you.”

 

Joe sat in the chair next to his father’s desk and watched as Adam crossed the great room and picked up his guitar and returned.  Hoss stood to Joe’s right his arms folded across his massive chest and Ben sat down in his desk chair and crossed his legs.  Adam made him self comfortable sitting on the corner of his father’s large oak desk, one leg dangling as he softly strummed the strings on his guitar.  After making a couple of minor adjustments to the tuning bar he ran the pick down the strings one final time then faced his youngest brother.

 

“Joe, I just want you to know how much I appreciate what you have done for me the last several days.  I know it was hard on you, I know at times you were scared.  I was scared myself, but I knew I was in capable hands.  I trusted you buddy, and you didn’t let me down.  I want you to know just how much that means to me.  I couldn’t find any words except these to tell you how I really feel about you.  I love you, little buddy, please don’t ever forget that.  I wrote this for you, I hope you like it.”  Adam began playing his guitar and looking into the hazel eyes of his youngest brother, he began singing in his rich baritone voice:

 

‘It must have been cold there in my shadow…

To never have sunlight on your face…

You’ve been content to let me shine…

You always walked a step behind…

I was the one with all the glory…

While you were the one with all the strength…

Only a face without a name…

 

Did you ever know that you’re my Hero?…

And everything I’d like to be?…

Well I can fly higher than an eagle…

But you are the wind beneath my wings!

 

It might have appeared to go unnoticed…

But I’ve got it all here in my heart…

I want you to know I know the truth…

I would be nothing without you…

 

Did you ever know that you’re my Hero?…

And everything I’d like to be?…

I can fly higher than an eagle…

But you are the wind beneath my wings…

You are the wind beneath my wings…

 

Joe rose from the chair, tears dripping from his chin and as Adam set aside his guitar and moved from the desk, the brothers clasped their arms around each other and stood locked in one another’s loving embrace.  Ben and Hoss smiled at each other and Hoss dabbed at his own tears moving to wrap his arms around his two brothers.  Ben laughed, “Why not?” and joined in hugging his sons.

 

“Thank you Adam,” whispered Joe from inside the huddle. 

 

“I meant it Joe, you are my hero and the wind beneath my wings!” answered Adam softly.

 

 

THE END

December, 2001,

 

‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ sung by various artists, no infringement intended.

 

Thanks to my sidekick, Jennie Allender for allowing me to use a part of our Christmas story as Joe’s dream.

                                          Merry Christmas Everyone!!

 

 

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