Gossamer
Dreams
(Part one)
By
Debbie B
The
blood oozed slowly from the gapping hole in his right shoulder as Joe slumped
forward in the saddle. He could feel his
strength dwindling away and knew that if he didn’t find help soon, he would
surely die. He pulled back on the reins,
bringing Cochise to a standstill.
Carefully, Joe opened his blood stained jacket and shirt that covered
the wound and glanced down at his injury.
As he pried away the makeshift bandage that he had stuffed into the
hole, he winced as the pain shot through his fevered body.
“Ah…”
moaned Joe softly as he struggled to replace the cloth with another that he
pulled from his saddlebags. The blood
caked bandage dropped to the ground unnoticed at Cochise’s hooves. Joe’s lips were pressed tightly together and
had turned white; his forehead was coated in a thin sheen of perspiration and
his hand trembled as he placed the clean rag against the opened wound and
pressed tightly in hopes of squelching the continued seeping of blood.
“AH! GOD!” he screamed aloud while adding pressure
to the place where his life’s blood dripped slowly down his chest. His head felt light and for a moment Joe
thought he might faint. He took several
deep breaths and trying to control his breathing, let them out slowly.
When
the wooziness passed, he shivered slightly and pulled first his shirt and then
his jacket back over the bandage and gently nudged his mount onward. For another mile or two, Cochise trotted
along with Joe swaying from side to side in the saddle, gripping tightly with
only one hand, to the saddle horn. He
had earlier lost his hold on the reins that were now dangling down on either
side as Cochise ambled along at his own pace.
The
pinto stopped suddenly as his rider’s body weight shifted to one side and then
slipped quickly to the ground. The
startled horse whinnied and stepped aside to avoid stepping on his fallen
rider. Joe hit the ground with a thud,
groaning pitifully as his body coiled into a tight knot from the pain that
generated to all parts of his body. With
one hand, he tried to push himself up, but the nauseous feeling had
returned. His head began to spin and
weak from loss of blood, Joe cried out one last time before being claimed by
the darkened world of obscurity that had shadowed him since the day before,
when he had been shot.
The
woman pulled her team of horses to a stop and hurried to climb down from the
wagon. She swung her dress tail aside
and placed a foot onto the wagon wheel.
“You
children stay in the wagon,” she ordered as she steadied herself enough to
climb down.
Once
she had her feet on the ground, the young woman moved gracefully, toward the
pinto that eyed her nervously. She
slowed her step as she neared the strange horse, speaking in a soft voice as
her hand grasped the animal’s reins.
“Easy
boy,” the woman murmured lowly so as not to spook the pinto.
She
rubbed the end of Cochise’s velvety nose and moved along his side, searching for
some clue as to what might have happened to its rider. Suddenly, her fingers touched something
sticky and her reaction was to quickly draw back her hand. She touched her thumb to her other fingers
and stared at the bright red color.
“Blood,”
she whispered to herself as she glanced around, looking in all directions for
the man who must surely by now, considering the amount of blood found on his
horse, was likely dead.
“Come
on fella,” she said to Joe’s horse.
Adrienne led the pinto back to her wagon and tied the reins onto the
back.
“You
two stay right where you are,” she ordered her children.
“What’cha
lookin’ for, Ma?” Petey, her eight year old son inquired.
“The
man this horse belongs to son, now stay right where you are, you too,
Precious,” she smiled at her six-year-old daughter. “Mama won’t be long.”
Adrienne
moved away from the wagon, searching all about as she wandered among the trees
and bushes and behind the rocks along the trail where Joe had been riding. She glanced once up at the sky. The sun was at its highest and its rays beat
down and warmed the earth. A flock of
vultures circled overhead, just a short distance from where she stood gazing up
at them.
“Oh
dear,” she mumbled as she crept along the edge of the rocks. “He’s probably already dead…what ever will I
do if he is?”
Her
dark eyes searched every inch of the rough terrain until they rested on the
still form curled into a tight ball. Her insides quivered in apprehension as
she bent down, carefully turning Joe onto his back. Adrienne gasped loudly at the site of the
wound and the amount of blood that coated the front of the man’s shirt. Quickly she pulled aside his jacket and then
tore the shirt away as well. From the
wound site, she used the tips of her fingers, curling her nose up in disgust as
she removed the blood soaked rag that Joe had used as a bandage.
Adrienne
glanced at Joe’s face and was appalled by the lack of color and quickly pressed
her fingertip to the center of Joe’s throat, searching frantically for a pulse. She closed her eyes, to concentrate and then
smiled to herself when she had found what she had been silently praying for.
“I
don’t know how cowboy, but you’re still alive!” she whispered as she brushed
back the sweat-dampened hair from Joe’s brow.
“Petey,
bring me the canteen, and get the medical supplies from under the seat,”
Adrienne called to her son.
“Yes’um,”
the boy shouted and then hurried to do his mother’s bidding.
“Is
he dead, mama?”
“No,
but he’s only hanging on by a thread, son.”
Adrienne
did what she could to ease the flow of blood that had yet to stop seeping from
the gapping wound and then led her team and wagon as close to Joe’s lifeless
body as she could.
She
was a petite woman, and as she stood over Joe, she wondered, how in the world
would she be able to lift his body into the bed of her wagon. She shuddered to think of the pain that she
would inflict upon the stranger when she tried to lift him.
It
took Adrienne more than half an hour just to get Joe into the back of her
wagon. Petey, her son, held the horses
steady while Adrienne worked at making her patient comfortable. Joe, though not a big man, was dead weight
for the young woman and by the time that she was finally ready to start home,
she was drained physically and emotionally.
Joe had cried out several times while being moved, and each time that he
did, Adrienne suffered along with him.
It was not in her nature to cause suffering of any kind, to another
being, whether man or beast, and with each whimper she found her own eyes thick
with unshed tears.
Another
hour and the trio finally arrived home with their patient. Joe’s brow was covered in sweat, yet his
fevered body shivered and when Adrienne pressed the back of her hand to his
brow, she cringed at the heat that radiated into her hand.
“Petey,
you and Sarah Beth go inside and get the bed ready, he’ll have to stay in your
room…”
“But
Mama, where will I sleep?” the boy asked, wide-eyed.
Adrienne
smiled, “You can have Sarah Beth’s room, her bed is too small for the stranger.
She can sleep in with me, now hurry son, I need to tend to his wound. The man’s hurt real bad.”
“Okay,
Mama, come on Sarah, you can help me.”
Petey took his little sister’s hand and went inside.
Adrienne
climbed back into the wagon bed after helping her daughter down so that she
could go with her brother.
“This
is gonna hurt you Mister, but I gotta do it.”
She grasped Joe from behind and gently pushed him up into a sitting
position. Instantly Joe let out a howl
of pain and pushed back against the kind hands that were attempting to hold
him.
“Easy
Mister,” Adrienne whispered as she forced Joe more up right. Joe continued to cry out as the young woman
inched his body to the end of the wagon and then hopped down. His eyelids parted slightly and he tried to
focus on the person that was speaking to him.
“Come
on, try to stand up, you can lean on me,” she grunted as Joe’s feet touched the
ground and his legs almost gave way beneath him.
“Pa?”
he muttered weakly.
Adrienne,
her arm around Joe’s mid-section and one hand clinging tightly to his left hand
staggered slightly as she held Joe upright.
“Pa?”
“No,
I ain’t ya Pa, now try to walk.”
Adrienne forced Joe into taking a couple of stumbling steps towards the
house. His step faltered after two more
and Adrienne changed positions with her hands and took a few more steps.
“Hurts…”
whined Joe.
“I
know, I know…come on…walk…I can’t do this by myself, darn it,” swore Adrienne,
who was beginning to wonder if the handsome stranger was worth all the effort
it had taken her to get him this far.
“Sorry…don’t
mean…you…no trouble…ma’am,” muttered Joe.
It
was Adrienne’s turn to stop and stare at the man she carried. She hadn’t expected him to have manners as
well as good looks and it was for sure that she hadn’t expected any remorse
from him. She scolded herself for her
thoughtlessness.
“You
ain’t no trouble, Mister…we’re almost there,” she said when she had Joe
standing beside the bed.
Carefully
she eased him around and turned him until she was able to sit him on the side
of the bed. When she let go, Joe flopped
over, crying out once again as the pain consumed his body.
Adrienne
hurried to pull Joe’s boots from his feet and turn his legs around until he was
finally lying in the bed. As quickly as
she could, she set a pan of water to boil on the stove eye and hurried out to
the wagon for the medical supplies that she carried with her wherever she
went. By the time that she returned, Joe
had started to moan, trashing about on the bed.
As
soon as the water was ready, she poured some into a basin and bringing soap and
towels with her to his bedside, she removed the jacket and stripped away the
remainder of Joe’s shirt and began by bathing his feverish body. Joe, in his delirious state of mind, fought
against the hands that so tenderly cared for him. By the time that she had finished with his
bath, Joe was deep into a restless sleep and no longer was a match for
Adrienne’s gentle hands.
Looking
at the opened wound, Adrienne almost gagged.
The flesh had been ripped and torn by the force of the bullet that had
struck the man. With as much care as
possible, Adrienne cleaned the open wound as best she could and then, much to
her displeasure, applied large amounts of alcohol to the reddened areas. Joe screamed in agony as the alcohol cleansed
his flesh.
“I’m
sorry, I’m so sorry,” the young woman cried as she bathed Joe’s face with a
cool rag.
When
Joe settled down, Adrienne returned to her kitchen and put one knife into the
fire that still blazed within her stove.
There was no other way to do it, she would have to probe and dig for the
bullet, for if not removed soon, all her efforts would be in vain. She turned to her children who had sat
quietly at the table, eating their supper.
“Children,”
she said with more assurance than she felt, “I want you to go outside and play
for a little while…”
“But
Mama,” began Petey, “it’s gonna be dark soon and ya know I don’t like the dark,
‘specially when I gotta go outside alone.”
Adrienne
ran her slender fingers through her son’s blond curls and smiled down at
him.
“But
son, you won’t be alone, Sarah Beth will be with you. I won’t be long, Petey, but I have to take
the bullet out of that man’s shoulder, you understand?”
“Yes
ma’am…it’s gonna hurt’em and ya don’t want me and Sarah to hear him crying’, do
ya?” Petey’s wide blue eyes watched his mother’s face.
Adrienne
bit her lip. “That’s right son, its
going to hurt him something fierce.”
Petey
pushed back his chair and walked over to the bed to stare down at Joe. “Is he gonna die, Mama?” he asked in a quite
voice.
When
he turned around, his mother could see the shine of unshed tears in his
eyes. She hurried to her son’s side and
knelt down, placing one hand on the boy’s shoulder. She smiled and cupped his chin with her other
hand.
“Let’s
hope not, Petey. Why don’t you whisper a
little prayer for him when you go outside?” she said in a motherly fashion.
“Don’t
know what good it’ll do. God ain’t
answered my other prayer yet,” Petey said crossly. He turned away from his mother and started to
the door. “Come on Sarah, hurry up.”
“Petey,”
Adrienne stopped her son before he reached the door. “What did you ask God for?” she was curious
to know, for whatever it had been, Petey was not happy with God’s answer.
“I
asked God to bring my Papa home, and he ain’t done it.”
“Oh,
son…your Papa will be home, soon,” Adrienne rushed to assure her little boy.
“No
he ain’t, he’s dead…just like that stranger’s going to be dead. I ain’t prayin’ for him, why should I, I
don’t even know his name!” growled Petey, looking over to where Joe lay. Joe had begun to moan.
Adrienne’s
eyes filled with worry as she followed her son’s gaze. “Petey, I wish you would say a prayer. If not for the man, then for me…so that I
might be able to get the bullet out of his shoulder.” The mother looked pleadingly at her young
son. “Please?”
Petey
took a long deep breath and blew it out.
“Okay Mama, for you, but not for him,” he pointed his finger in Joe’s direction.
Adrienne
drew the boy to her and hugged him, kissing the top of his curly head. “Out with you now…I’ll call for you when you
can come back in…you mind Sarah Beth now and don’t let her play in the watering
trough!”
As
Petey and his sister went through the door, Adrienne lovingly swatted the boy’s
backside. For just a moment, she watched
as her children scurried across the yard to play. The insistent moaning from the far corner of
the room drew her attention away from her children.
Adrienne
quickly grabbed the knife that she had sterilized on the stove, more bandages
and filling her lungs to capacity, moved to Joe’s bedside. Carefully she spread her medical supplies out
on a clean cloth and then turned to Joe.
He had stopped his thrashing about which was a big relief to
Adrienne. Quickly she tore long thins
strips of material and tied Joe’s left wrist to the bedpost. She did the same with each ankle; the right arm,
where the bullet had entered his shoulder, Adrienne left free. The wound and the amount of pain that Joe was
experiencing earlier in that shoulder, indicated to the woman who was about to
perform her first surgery, totally useless to the young man as it were. The light restraints would prevent the man
from moving about on the bed at the wrong time.
Later, after she finished and the man was resting better, she would
remove the ties so that he could be more comfortable.
From
the nightstand where she had placed her needed items, Adrienne picked up the
whiskey bottle, studied its contents for a moment, and then she placed the
bottle to her lips and took a quick drink.
She scrunched up her nose in distaste and as she poured a small amount
over the knife. The swig helped to steady her trembling hands and give her a
sense of strength for what she was about to attempt.
The
young woman glanced once at Joe’s face and then went to work on the bullet
wound. At first her hand trembled as she
began cutting away the infected tissue that hampered her search. Fresh blood appeared immediately and she
quickly dabbed it dry with the clean cloths.
Constantly, Adrienne would look down at Joe’s face, and each time she
saw only slight facial expressions. She
was relieved that Joe had sunk so far into the world of oblivion that he was
feeling very little if any pain that her probing might be causing him.
With
a long sigh of relief, Adrienne at last located the bullet. Gently, she removed the knife and with tongs
from her kitchen, eased them into the wound until her skilled hands touched the
tiny shot from the bullet. As she began
backing out of the bloody hole, Joe moaned loudly and tossed his head from side
to side. A sense of urgency quickened
her fingers and a minute later the round pellet dinged as it was dropped into
the tin basin.
“Ah…ah…”
Joe moaned softly.
Adrienne
hurried to clean the wound, watching how the young man twisted up his face in
pain at her tender ministrations. Once
the wound was cleaned as well as could be the self-proclaimed surgeon sewed up
the opening in Joe’s shoulder and then covered it with bandages. The hardest part was wrapping the lengths of
cloth around the shoulder, and when all was finished, Adrienne wondered to
herself how she had accomplished all that she had in a matter of such a short
time.
She
gathered her tools and took them to the kitchen. As she stood at the window, she glanced out,
checking to see her children playing happily with the new kittens. Adrienne went to the door and called them
inside, smiling at each.
A
quick bath and a quicker snack and her children were rushed off to bed. It would be a long night, as she would stay
by the stranger’s bedside in case he awoke and needed something. The man’s
fever was still high and Adrienne would keep his brow bathed with cool
water…anything she thought, to keep her mind from wondering about her husband
and his whereabouts.
As
Adrienne sat alone in the soft glow of the lamplight, her thoughts nonetheless
ventured to her husband. Josh had been
gone for over a month now, much longer than necessary. He had gone to
“NO!”
The
sudden outburst startled Adrienne from her pondering as she straightened herself
in her chair.
“Don’t
shoot!” Joe cried in his delirium.
His
face was coated with sweat and he’d begun tossing about and pulling on his
restraints. His right arm was carefully wrapped
within the binding that covered his wounded shoulder and would provide no
threat to his thrashing about.
Adrienne
soaked the cloth in cool water and sat on the very edge of the bed. As she wiped away the wetness, she spoke in a
soft soothing tone, hoping to reach into the befuddled mind of her patient.
“Take
it easy, Mister…no one’s going to hurt you…you’re safe here with me,” she
whispered.
As
she continued to care for Joe, she noticed for the first time, the handsome
features that lay beneath the bruises that dotted his face. It was obvious that the man had been in a
fight, and that he had just as obviously gotten the worst end of the
argument. He was handsome, concluded
Adrienne and his appearance only served to rouse questions as to who he was,
where he came from and why had he been shot.
Rising
slowly, Adrienne reached for Joe’s jacket and fingered through the pockets,
hoping to find something that would give her a clue to his identity. Certainly he had family, hadn’t she heard him
calling for his pa and what about a wife…and maybe children? There was nothing in the pockets of his
jacket. Adrienne went through his pants
pockets as well and that search proved to be for naught.
When
she returned to Joe’s bedside and sat down, she studied his face again. He looked like a man of means…not the
everyday type that wandered around seeking handouts from the local
residents. He was clean shaven, his
clothes, what there were left of them, had been store bought and were of good
material. For sure his horse was as
fine, as any she had ever seen, and his gear was of the most expensive
assortment around. Even his holster was
of the most premium leather made…yet she wondered about the missing pistol. Had he lost it while ambling about, or had it
been taken from him, by the man or men who had shot him?
A
new thought struck her and she shuddered, was this handsome stranger wanted for
some horrid crime? Had he murdered a
man, robbed a bank, or stage…had some unknowing female, such as herself, been a
victim of his…had she been stricken by his overpowering good looks and smooth
talking? Adrienne shook her head slowly;
she wouldn’t allow such pessimism to warp her logical thinking. Any man who called out for his father could
not be as bad as her imagination was allowing her to contemplate.
For
the rest of the night, Adrienne stayed by Joe’s side. More than once, he awoke, studied her face
through clouded and tear filled eyes and mumbled something about having been
shot. Adrienne smiled kindly each time,
for such was her nature. She whispered
soft words of comfort that seemed to have a calming affect on him. His hot, sweat drenched body, Adrienne kept
bathed and cooled in spite of the temper that struggled for control. She had removed all his clothing except for
his long johns bottom. Those she allowed
him to keep for she had no such notion of disrobing the man entirely unless
necessity demanded.
By
daylight, her children were up and demanding their breakfast. Sleep had been long in coming for the nurse
turned surgeon, and she had only been able to claim the last two or three hours
before the rising of the sun. But she
smiled in satisfaction when she peeled back the bandages that protected Joe’s
injury and saw where the pinkness of his flesh, that promised infection, had
faded to a lighter color.
She
hurried to fix her children their breakfast, least the stranger wake and demand
her attention. He had been asleep now
for hours and was sure to rouse about soon and most likely he’d be hungry,
Adrienne concluded. As soon as the
children were fed, she sent Petey to the chicken house to gather what eggs he
could find. Those she would use later
when she did her baking. As for the
stranger, he would have to settle for some broth, for she doubted that his
stomach could handle much more than that at the moment.
An
hour later, Adrienne had killed one of her chickens, plucked it clean of its
feathers and had the bird in the stewing pot.
The broth would last for a couple of days and would give the stranger much
needed nourishment for his ailing body.
For herself and her children, Adrienne would use what she could spare of
the broth and make dumplings…a filling meal and one of her children’s
favorites.
“Pa…Pa…help
me!” cried Joe from his corner bedroom.
Adrienne
set her spoon off to the side of the stove and hurried in to check on her
patient. Joe’s brow had beaded once more
with tiny droplets of perspiration.
Quickly, Adrienne dampened a cloth and began wiping away the moisture.
Joe
continued with his moaning. His
restraints had been removed during the night and when Joe, in his confused
state, felt the tender hands that cared for him, he reached out with his good
hand and clasped Adrienne’s within his own.
Adrienne
stilled her movements, unsure as to what the stranger might do. Joe’s eyelids fluttered and then opened. Within the hazel depths, Adrienne could see
the confusion and the pain that flickered.
“Didn’t
want…to…kill…him,” Joe murmured as he tried to focus his eyes on the face that
loomed over him. “No…choice…” he
stammered.
“Shh…don’t
try to talk, save your strength,” soothed Adrienne as she freed her hand from
his and placed Joe’s hand across his chest.
“Hurts…”
“I
know, and I’m sorry…but I have nothing for the pain, other than
whiskey…wouldn’t want…”
Joe
slowly shook his head, “no…hungry…”
“Oh,
now that I can give you. I’ll be right
back, I already have a good chicken broth simmering on the stove.” Adrienne stood to her feet but stopped when
Joe reached out and took her arm.
As
she gazed into his face, the pain that he suffered was written into every fine
line of his features. Her heart broke
for the stranger and she wished that she could do something to alleviate the
suffering he was most certainly having to endure.
She
leaned down, smiling. “What is it?” She
saw Joe swallow and was surprised at the sudden rush of tears that filled his
eyes.
“Thank…you,”
he muttered in a voice that was laden with the agony that he was feeling.
Adrienne
felt her own throat constrict and she smiled, patted his hand and then slipped
quietly into the kitchen. At the stove,
she paused, drawing in a deep breath.
His sudden expression of gratitude had caught her unprepared, for she
had not expected the stranger to be such a gentleman. As Adrienne spooned the broth into a bowl, a
sense of longing filled her senses. Her
thoughts turned suddenly to her own husband and she could not help but pray
that if Josh had met a fate such as this stranger, her prayer would be that he
had found the same kindness as she gave to the man in the other room.
“Just
one more bite,” Adrienne requested of her patient.
Joe
shook his head no and then closed his eyes.
Minutes later he was asleep.
Adrienne set the bowl aside and gently pulled the covers up around Joe’s
shoulders. His brow still showed signs
of beading and Adrienne could tell by the flushed look that Joe wore, that he
was still hot with fever.
She
wished there was a doctor close by, the stranger really did need one, but the
nearest was better than fifty miles away.
Any hopes of getting the man the medical help that he so desperately
needed was totally out of the question.
She couldn’t run the gamble of moving him; the ride in the back of her
wagon would most likely kill him, if the pain didn’t do it before they reached
the physician’s office. And then there
was always the chance that the doctor would be out on a call and might not
return for days. No, she would just have
to do what she could for the man; she was his only hope.
By
afternoon, Joe’s temper had risen even higher and Adrienne feared that the heat
of the
It
wasn’t as if she had never seen a naked man, after all she told herself, she
was a married woman. And, having grown
up in a household full of brothers, she was accustomed to having to care for
the needs of an ailing man. But with
this stranger, it was different, she wished not to embarrass him. She laughed softly to herself, she could
almost convince herself of her own modesty.
“Please…”
groaned the stranger.
Adrienne
who had been out hoeing in what remained of her vegetable garden, and who had
just come inside, hurried to set aside the few vegetables she had picked as she
rushed to Joe’s bedside. She was
surprised to see that he had opened his eyes, and that the cloudiness had begun
to leave. Adrienne smiled and placed her
hand to his forehead.
“You’ve
cooled off a little,” she explained.
“Water…please?”
begged Joe as he moved his body. The
twisted expression on his face showed his pain.
“Here,”
Adrienne said as he helped Joe raise his head.
He was still too weak to hold the glass, so Adrienne held it to his
lips. When he had satisfied his thirst,
she gently lowered his head back down on the pillows.
“Thanks,”
he muttered, watching his nurse as she pulled her chair over to the bed.
Adrienne
smiled. “How do you feel?”
“Hurts…badly,”
he answered honestly. “How’d I…get
here?”
“I
found you, out on the road. You’d been
shot…and you had lost a lot of blood. I
couldn’t just leave you there to die…so I brought you here,” she explained.
“Here?”
“Yes,
I live here, with my children…and my husband, when he’s home.”
“You’re
alone? Where’s…your husband?” Joe winced and clutched his shoulder.
“Josh…my
husband, went to
“Sorry,”
Joe forced a smile. “What’s your name?”
“Adrienne…and
yours? I went through your
pockets…oh…not to be noisy, but I was hoping to find something that would tell
me who you were…I mean who you are…just in case,” she stumbled over her
words. His intense hazel eyes seemed to
be mesmerizing and she found herself falling deeply into their depths.
Joe
laughed softly, bringing her back to her senses. “It’s alright…no need to…apologize. Joe…Joe Cartwright…that’s my name.” Again he tried to move to a more comfortable
position and once more he cried out in pain.
“Please,
Mr. Cartwright, stop thrashing about like a fish out of water!” she scolded
gently.
She
leaned down and fluffed Joe’s pillow, and then sat back in her chair. “Men!” she groaned. “I haven’t found one yet that made a good
patient!” she grumbled and then when she heard the sound of his infamous
giggle, she smiled down at him.
“And
you won’t find one in me either…” he grinned.
“I’m
sorry Mr. Cartwright but…”
“Joe…name’s
Joe…and my friends…call me Little Joe,” he smiled.
“Alright,
Little Joe, I apologize for my rudeness…”
Joe
held up his hand to silence her. “No
need,” he said.
His
eyelids suddenly became heavy as they folded over his eyes. He yawned and when he opened his eyes again,
Adrienne had moved. Joe turned his head
slightly and found the young woman bending down, speaking in a low voice. It was only when she moved that Joe was able
to see the boy and girl to whom she had been speaking. Joe saw the girl look his way, and from his
bed with the door partially opened, he could see the wee child smile at
him. Joe tried to return the gesture,
but he could no longer keep his eyes opened.
Within minutes, he was sleeping.
Adrienne
spent the rest of the afternoon preparing supper for her children, and while
Joe slept, she tended to her washing. By
late afternoon, the house had filled with the aroma of fresh baked bread and
apple pie. The chicken and dumplings
were on the stove stewing and Joe’s broth was beginning to bubble slowly.
“That’s
the last of the dried apples,” she told Petey as she removed the dessert from
the oven and placed it on the window ledge to cool.
“When’s
Papa comin’ home, Mama?” the little boy asked.
Adrienne
saw the sad expression on her son’s face and wished that she could give him a definite
answer, but even she had no idea. Josh
was over a month late in returning as it was.
“Mama?”
“Petey,
I don’t know son…but it should be soon,” she tried to assure the boy.
“What’ll
we do, if’n he don’t get home before it snows?” he asked. “I was down in the root cellar yesterday, and
we’re about out of potatoes and carrots.
All we got bunches of are onions and dried peppers, and only one ham,
Mama,” Petey scrunched up his nose in disgust at the thoughts of the peppers
and onions.
Adrienne’s
eyes ventured to the open window and she stared off into the distance. There was nothing on the horizon but
mountains and trees, no sign of her husband.
She then turned to the stranger that was resting peacefully, another
mouth to feed she thought and then scolded herself. It wasn’t right to blame the man for being
here, she thought, only herself for being so noble as not to leave him for the
buzzards.
“Mama?”
“He’ll
be here son, your father will be here, he’s just been held up…maybe he’s
waiting for a shipment to arrive at the mercantile.”
“But
Mama, Pa said that…”
“Petey
hush!” she scolded. “I know what your pa
said, but things happen sometimes to change our plans.” When she glanced down at her son, she could
see the tears that had swelled in his eyes and instantly she regretted being so
short tempered towards the boy.
“Come
here, Petey,” she said as she gathered him into her arms. “Your Pa will be home just as soon as he
can…you just wait and see,” she smiled at him.
“I’m
sorry Mama…it’s just that I miss him so much.”
The tears rolled over the edge of the boy’s eyes and careened down his
chubby little face.
“I
know you do sweetie, but, so do I…we just have to keep praying…”
“I
will, I promise…guess I’d better get the cow in…” Petey gave his mother a
smile, relieving her fear somewhat.
It
was a long time after the children had gone to bed before Joe woke. His temperature was down slightly and when he
opened his eyes, he could at least focus them better than earlier in the day.
“Well,
sleepy head…I see you’re awake,” Adrienne smiled at Joe. “Do you think you could eat something?”
Joe
nodded his head. “I’ll try,” he said,
his voice sounding weak.
Adrienne
hurried to get Joe some broth and decided to add a few dumplings as well. When she returned, Joe had wiggled himself
upward on the bed and had propped against his pillows. His lips were white, as were the knuckles on
his left hand, which he had folded up into a tight fist.
He
smiled sheepishly at his hostess. “Guess
I should have waited…boy does that hurt.”
“Serves
you right,” she said, but her tone was light.
Joe’s
eyes sought the young woman’s and he smiled.
“Touché!” he smirked and then smiled.
Adrienne
could not help herself, he looked much younger, more like a boy, when he
screwed up his face and in spite of herself, she laughed. Joe’s eyes brightened and he giggled, but
only briefly.
“Are
you going to sit there laughing and let me starve to death?” he said, sobering.
Adrienne’s
eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, of course
not, I’m sorry,” she said.
For
several minutes, neither spoke as Adrienne spooned the broth and the dumplings
into Joe’s mouth. When he dribbled a
speck onto his chin, she offered him the napkin. Joe’s fingers touched her hand and for a
brief moment, each sat still, staring at their hands. Adrienne jerked her hand back as if touched
by fire and lowered her head. Joe
watched the woman’s face and for the first time, noticed how truly lovely the
young mother was.
Her
long brown hair was coiled at the back of her head and tiny, wild sprigs had
gotten free of the pins and dangled about her face. The golden highlights glimmered in the soft
glow and the sudden, odd expression that had come into play on her face when his
hand had touched hers, caused him to tremble slightly, for he had been as much
caught off guard by the sensation as the lovely woman had.
Adrienne
however, was finding it hard to breathe.
She had not been prepared for the unexpected rush of emotions that
surged through her when his hand had touched hers. She glanced up, afraid that he had seen her
blush and had been able to read her thoughts.
Joe
smiled, and handed the rose colored napkin back to her. “Thank you,” he said in a thick voice. Adrienne had seen him swallow and had seen
when Joe had tried to mask his own feelings.
She was startled to find her self attracted to him…she was married…and
she loved her husband deeply…but…but…
“Ma’am?”
Joe called a second time.
“Oh…I’m
sorry,” she muttered.
Joe
smiled as she stood up, “Adrienne, do me a favor…would you please stopping
saying I’m sorry?”
Adrienne,
embarrassed, laughed softly, “Joe, I don’t mean to keep saying it…really…it’s
just a habit…I’m sor…”
“Adrienne!”
“Oh,
goodness…” she turned and rushed from the room, his gentle giggles following
her to her kitchen.
Adrienne
set the bowl in the dishwater and leaned heavily against the table. She was breathing hard and suddenly felt so
foolish. ‘I’m acting like a silly school
girl,’ she thought. She glanced over her
shoulder into the room where Joe lay. He
had turned onto his left side and seeing the slow rise and fall of his
breathing, she determined that he had quickly fallen to sleep. Probably exhausted, she concluded.
When
the dishes were wiped clean, Adrienne stepped out into the night. The sky was clear and the trillions of stars
twinkled brightly over head. She felt a
mellowing of her spirit as she gazed upward and witnessed God’s handiwork. Without warning, her eyes filled with tears
that ran slowly down her face.
“Oh
Josh…please…won’t you hurry home? I miss
you so,” she whispered lowly into the night wind. “I love you so much, my darling, and I do
need you so.”
“Why do we gotta have beans and potatoes again!” stormed Petey. “I’m sick of beans and potatoes…potatoes and
beans!”
“Petey!”
snapped Adrienne, who glanced, toward the room where Joe was still confined to
the bed. “That will be enough…”
“But
Mama…I want meat…and you said that Sarah Beth needed meat too…”
“Shh…I
said stop it, Petey! I’m doing the best
I can with what I have!” Adrienne was
fighting back the tears that came into her deep dark eyes. She was almost out of everything…her children
were hungry…and still Josh had not returned.
“It’s
his fault!” shouted Petey, as he pointed toward the door that hid Joe from the
argument going on in the kitchen. “If’n
ya’d left him out there, then we could have…”
“PETEY!” Adrienne could not believe what was
happening, her little boy was sounding so uncaring toward another human
being. “Go to your room…NOW!”
Petey,
his eyes wide with tears, turned and ran into the other room. Seconds later Adrienne heard the slamming of
the door. She pulled the chair out from
the table and sat down, burying her face in her hands. The soft sounds of her crying tugged at the
heart of the young man standing precariously against the frame of the door.
Joe,
wrapped in his blanket, staggered slightly as he crept slowly toward the
sobbing woman. “Ma’am?” he said softly,
catching Adrienne by surprise.
She
spun her head around and seeing Joe clinging tightly to the back of her chair,
she rose to her feet. Quickly, she
rounded the chair and slipped her arms about Joe’s body to steady him.
“What
in the world are you doing out of bed?” she scolded. “Let’s get you back where you belong!” Gently, Adrienne began ushering Joe back
toward his room.
“No…wait…the
boy,” began Joe.
“Never
you mind the boy…you need to be in bed!” Adrienne said with a groan.
Joe
was leaning heavily against Adrienne’s soft alluring body. He glanced at her, surprised at himself that
in his present condition, he found himself so attracted to her. He inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent of her
hair. It smelt like spring rain, and it
was soft when he allowed himself the freedom to touch it with his fingers. He heard her sudden intake of wind and smiled
down at her when she looked into his eyes.
“You
are so beautiful,” Joe murmured softly.
They
had reached his bed and Adrienne helped Joe turn around so that he could sit
down. She ignored his remark. She could feel the heat emitting from his
body and knew that his fever was up again.
Getting out of bed and stumbling around like he had, had done nothing to
help his recovery, even if the distance from the bedroom to the kitchen had
been but a few short steps.
“Lay
down, Little Joe,” she said softly as she arranged the pillow under his head.
“So
lovely…”
“Hush…”
she whispered, but then ceased moving as he raised his hand and entwined his
fingers into her hair.
Joe
tenderly fingered the lose strains of golden brown locks and Adrienne could see
the desire in his eyes that he was unable to disguise. She took his hand in
hers to remove it from her hair. Joe
clung tightly to her smaller hand and drew it to his lips, where he held
it. His eyes had fixed on her expression
and he seemed to loose himself in her dark eyes.
Adrienne’s
heart beat rose in tempo as Joe kissed her fingers. She knew she should pull back and scold him
for his audacity, but the longing within her and the need to be loved,
discouraged her logical thinking.
“Mama?”
Adrienne
was snapped to her senses by the sound of the wee voice calling out to
her. Quickly she freed her hand from Joe’s
and then placed his under the blanket, covering him to his chin.
“Mama…I’m
hungry,” Sarah Beth cried from the doorway.
Adrienne
glanced up at her daughter and then quickly back down at her patient. Joe had closed his eyes and appeared to be
sleeping. The concerned mother hurried
to gather her daughter into her arms and carried her from the room. Once in the kitchen, she placed the little
girl in one of the chairs and fixed Sarah Beth a snack.
“You
finish your bread and butter, sweetheart, and then I’ll tuck you into bed,”
smiled Adrienne. She glanced back at
Joe, whom she could see through the opened door. He appeared to be resting comfortably.
Half
an hour later, Sarah Beth was back in bed and sleeping, unlike Adrienne’s
guest. Joe had begun to mumble and was
once again trying to get up.
“Oh
no you don’t!” Adrienne stopped Joe by gently pushing him back down against the
pillows and mattress.
Joe,
his eyes wide, and his thoughts muddled by confusion grabbed Adrienne’s
arms. “No!” he blared, as he tried to
shove her away. “Don’t make me shoot
you!” he growled.
Adrienne
lost her footing as Joe’s moment of strength almost succeeded in pushing her
backwards. She steadied herself and
using her own strength, was able to force the quickly tiring Joe back into the
bed. Joe moaned as Adrienne pressed him
back against the pillows.
“Be
still, Joe,” she said with one hand on his good shoulder. “You’re burning up, again, and look what
you’ve gone and done!” she groaned.
His
bandage was showing red and Adrienne knew that all Joe’s foolishness had
reopened the wound and it had started to seep blood. She pressed her hand to the bandage, causing
Joe to cry out.
“Oh…hurts,”
he whispered as he shrank back against the mattress. He stopped his moving about and lay perfectly
still. With clouded, pain filled eyes,
he looked up at Adrienne.
“The
boy…I have…money…for food,” Joe forced his words out.
Adrienne
had begun to remove the bandage to see just how much damage had been done. She kept a constant watch on Joe’s face,
noting each flinch and grimace of pain that he made. He groaned as she peeled away the last bit of
the bandage.
“Easy,
I don’t mean to hurt you, but I have to clean this up and put on a new
bandage,” she explained. As the last strip
of bandage was lifted, Adrienne sighed in relief; so far there was no sign of
infection.
Joe
nodded his head, his eyes were pinched shut to ward of the pain. From the corners, tiny droplets of water
seeped free and rolled ever so slowly down the sides of his face. Adrienne worked with skilled fingers, trained
by tending to the many injuries of her brothers and father over a number of
years. She noted the tears and the
little beads of water that were surfacing on his brow as well.
“Almost
finished Joe, and then you can rest,” she said softly.
She
loved living on the open range. She
always had, with Josh and then later with the children, it had always been like
paradise to her. Until recently that is,
things had gone poorly for them, half of their cattle had died when the
watering hole had gone bad. Afterwards,
things seemed to go from bad to worse, they suffered a month long drought and
had lost most of their crops, and the well had practically gone dry. They had only enough money to buy food and
supplies to last them through the winter, so Josh had bid them all good-bye,
with the promise that he would return soon with a wagonload of goods to last
them the winter. When he had left and
she was alone with just the children and herself, she had suddenly become
frightened and lonely for the first time since settling there.
When
she had found Joe, bleeding and so near death, the frightened feeling
returned. They were so far from any
town, there was nothing between them and
She
glanced again at Joe’s expression and her heart felt such sorrow for the poor
man. She’d done all she could to ease
his pain and suffering, but now it was up to him. He was young, about twenty or twenty-one
perhaps, Adrienne figured, not much younger than herself and he was certainly
healthy. By the way his muscles rippled
along his chest and arms, his stomach and even in his legs, the boy had known
hard work in his lifetime. What Joe
needed now was plenty of rest and good nourishing food.
At
the thought of food, Adrienne’s thoughts turned to her children. She dampened the cloth that covered Joe’s
brow and replaced it. Slowly she moved
to the kitchen, and began going through her cupboards; they were practically
empty. Adrienne made a mental note of
her stock, and then sighed wearily.
“Oh
Josh, won’t you please hurry…”
Joe’s
fever continued to linger far into the next evening. By the time he awoke, Adrienne had put her
children to bed and was sitting cross-legged in an old worn but comfortable
chair next to his bed. Her head was bent
low, her eyes closed tightly and by the rise and fall of her chest, Joe knew
that the lovely young woman was sleeping.
His
senses picked up the faint aroma of fresh baked bread and he couldn’t help
refraining from sniffing the air. At
that moment, his stomach rumbled, reminding him that it had been hours since he
had last had anything to eat. He thought
about slipping carefully from his bed and helping himself, but shucked that
idea. He was much too weak, he had found
that out the first time he had attempted to make his way to the kitchen. Why had he gotten out of bed? His mind seemed boggled and the reasoning so
far fetched. Joe leaned his head back
into the pillow and closed his eyes, trying to dredge the memory from his
brain.
Hungry…that
was it, he realized as his eyes popped opened and he quickly turned to
Adrienne. Her children were hungry…but
why? Hadn’t she enough food to feed
them…and if not…how was she managing? An
unpleasant thought jolted him wider awake and he felt his stomach churn once
more, but not from hunger, more so from what he realized that his being there
was costing the woman and her children.
“Adrienne,”
he said in a soft voice as he touched her arm with his hand. “Adrienne?” he whispered a second time.
Adrienne’s
head snapped up and moving quickly, she unfolded her legs and moved closer to
the bed. “Joe? What’s wrong?” she asked in a worried voice. “Are you in pain?”
Joe
saw the anxious look on her face and he hurried to reassure her. “No…at least, not too much…I’m fine…really,”
he lied, for he was hurting, far more than he cared to admit to this gracious
young woman.
“What
then…are you hungry? I have some broth…”
“No…Adrienne…”
Joe paused. “I need to know
something…and please, be honest with me,” Joe stated.
He
watched how quickly she averted her eyes so that she would not have to stare
into his. Joe reached out and took her
hand in his and gave her a quick smile.
The feel of her hand in his caused him to shudder. Joe took a deep breath and proceeded.
“Your
little boy…he was upset with you…because of me…”
“No,”
she hurried to say.
“Why? And he said that your food supply was almost
gone…I want to know if that’s true,” Joe asked.
“Joe…”
paused Adrienne and then looked up, into his face. He was watching her intently and she knew he
would never stop questioning her until he knew the truth. “Yes…he was angry at me…and yes it was
because of you…but Joe…he’s only a little boy and he doesn’t understand and…”
“I
know that Adrienne, and I don’t fault him for that…it’s okay. But what about your food supply? How low are you?” Joe inquired. His fingers gently caressed the back of her
hand as they talked.
“We’ve
almost out…there’s just a few onions and peppers, and even less potatoes and
beans…I killed the last rooster the day after I found you…and I’ve only flour
and meal enough for two more loaves of bread and maybe a skillet of
cornbread…and…and…”
Adrienne
pulled back her hand and when she had lowered her head, she covered her face
with both hands and began to weep.
“Josh
should have been back by now,” she sobbed.
“He’s never taken this long before…he was bringing back enough supplies
to last us through the winter and then he was going to get a loan at the bank
in Salt Lake City and then….” Her words became muddled and Joe could not
understand what she was saying.
Her
crying tore at his heart and he was at a loss as to how to comfort
Adrienne.
“Please…stop
crying…it can’t be as bad as you think.
Surely your husband will be back any time now, unless…”
Adrienne’s
head darted up and she ceased crying, staring oddly into Joe’s eyes. “Unless what?” she demanded.
Joe,
realizing too late his mistake, gulped.
“I only meant that perhaps he was detained for some reason…I didn’t mean
to worry you…”
“Oh…yes,”
she said, standing to her feet. She
turned and walked away from the bed, stopping to peer out the window. When she turned, she was smiling. “Oh course, Joe, my husband was just delayed,
he’ll be here soon….”
“Adrienne,
I have a little money…”
“Oh
Joe…no, I couldn’t…Besides, once Josh gets back, everything will be just fine,
you wait and see,” she rushed to explain.
“But
until then, you could use it, go into town and buy what you need…for the
children,” Joe told her.
“Town?” Adrienne almost laughed. “Joe…the nearest town is a days ride from
here…on horse back…and then it’s only a trading post. They don’t even have a
doctor; they don’t have a mercantile, no dress shops, nothing…not even a
sheriff’s office.”
“Nothing?”
stammered Joe, realizing for the first time, just how far from civilization
they actually were. “I take it they
don’t have a telegraph office either?”
“No…why?”
“I
need to wire my family in Virginia City…my father must be worried sick about
me…your husband isn’t the only one long over due,” smiled Joe.
“I’m
sorry Joe…I wish I could do something about that, but I can’t,” she returned
his smile. “I suppose, until Josh comes back
and your shoulder heals, we’re stuck with each other.”
The
smile on Joe’s face faded momentarily.
That’s not the worse thing that could happen to me, he thought and then
quickly shook the thought away.
“You
ought to be glad it was me you found and not my brother Hoss,” smiled Joe.
“And
why is that?” Adrienne asked in a light tone.
God, he was so handsome, her heart told her mind as she stood over his
bed, smiling down into his eyes that seemed to suddenly come alive with
amusement.
“Cause
my brother weighs almost three hundred pounds and eats like a horse…now me on
the other hand, I eat practically nothing at all…” Joe stopped suddenly.
“Adrienne…you
have to take the money…and you have to ride to the trading post and get some
supplies…just enough to last us a few days, until Josh gets home,” he added
quickly before she could interrupt him and refuse the offer. “For the children…please?”
She
seemed to be considering the offer. She
did have her two children to think of…she glanced at Joe with doubt still
showing on her face.
“Josh
took the riding horse and mule, Joe…there’s no way that I could get there
except in the wagon, and that would take forever…the team isn’t broke to
saddle, Joe.”
“You
can ride Cochise…my horse. You did find him,
didn’t you?” Joe hadn’t thought about his mount until just then and the idea
that his pinto might still be on the loose sent a new fear into his
heart…without a saddle horse between them…
“Yes,
I found him before I found you. He’s in
the barn…Petey’s been caring for him.”
“Can
you ride?” Joe asked.
Adrienne
surprised Joe with her light laughter.
“Of course I can ride…I was born in the saddle,” she scolded him softly.
“Good,
then take all the money out of my saddlebags and the first thing in the morning…you
ride for that trading post and get just the essentials…”
“But
the children?” she asked as her laughter died.
“They
can stay with me…”
“You? Joe, you can’t keep an eye on those
two…you’re hardly in any shape to…”
“Don’t
you worry about me, or the kids, we’ll be just fine,” he said, hoping to
squelch her fears. He wasn’t too sure of
what he, himself had suggested, but it was for sure that unless Adrienne rode
to the trading post and bought a few things, the likelihood that they would all
starve was very real.
Adrienne
moved to the edge of the bed and sat down.
Her expression was a mixture of hopefulness and doubtfulness. “Are you sure, Joe…really sure? It could take me two days, even if I left at
sunrise and then headed straight back.”
Joe’s
hand caressed Adrienne’s cheek, and again he felt the warming of his flesh as
his fingers touched her face. “I’m
sure,” he muttered in a thick voice.
Adrienne
placed her hand over Joe’s and brought the work worn fingers to her lips. Tenderly, as if she were in love for the very
first time, she kissed the palm of his hand.
Tears sprang into her eyes as she watched his grow dark with undeniable
desire. Quickly, her body tingling, she
lowered Joe’s hand and stood up, she had to stop this nonsense, she chided
herself…she was a married woman…and in love with no man, other than her
husband. Her eyes studied Joe’s face,
but this man stirred within her an unsatisfied need…Adrienne turned from Joe,
unable to continue meeting his gaze.
“I’ll get you some broth, and a slice or two of