Dearly Beloved
A Bonanza story by Linda
Bristow
A special thanks goes
to the following people who have helped me with this story.
Without their efforts
this story would still be a piece of paper scribbled with a few ideas and
stuffed in a file in a desk.
Pernell Roberts, the
man who made Adam Cartwright come alive in Bonanza for all of us to enjoy. Margie
Johnson, Michelle Kille, Shan Fleming, and Carol Convine, who know of my love for the man. My husband Jeff
and son Mark for putting up with the woman who seemed to be forever attached to
the computer keyboard.
**********
CHAPTER ONE
“How long have you
been seeing this…this woman?” yelled Ben Cartwright, giving his oldest son a
hostile glare across the dining table.
His three sons could see he was furious; eyes blazing, voice
raised.
Adam, the object of
the anger, gave his father a faint smile.
With a slow, deliberate movement he leant back in his chair and crossed
his arms defiantly; a glimmer of anger just starting in his eyes.
“I’m sure you know,
Pa, as if Hoss and Joe haven’t told you.” he said sarcastically, giving his two
brothers a glare of contempt. How had
his father found out about him and Michelle?
He thought he’d been discrete in his liaisons with her, as he was with
any of the women he’d seen in the past.
Judging by his father’s reaction, obviously not discrete enough. Sighing quietly to himself as he realized
his father’s inevitable tirade was about to commence.
Ben turned onto his
other sons, who were still seated at the dining table. Infuriated that he was the last to find out
and that they’d kept something of this embarrassing nature a secret from
him. Not that his family’s standing in
the town was of paramount importance to him but nevertheless there were some
actions by his sons he would not tolerate.
This was certainly going to be one of them.
“Why didn’t you tell
me about this… affair?” He was at a loss
as to why Adam would contemplate such an action. Adam, of all of his sons, should know better. Surely there were enough eligible women in
town to go out with. Why if he thought
hard enough, there were quite a number of very attractive and acceptable ladies
in
Hoss swallowed, he
disliked seeing his father in this frame of mind, even if it wasn’t directed
entirely at him. He gave Adam a
sympathetic look before he answered his father.
Adam returned the look with a shrug of his shoulders and little tilt of
his head. There was nothing Hoss could do but answer and he didn’t want Hoss
getting into trouble with their father in an angry state.
“Well, Pa, it’s
Adam’s choice as to who he sees. I
didn’t see no harm in it. I didn’t tell
you ‘cause… ummm, I thought Adam would when he wanted
to.”
Hoss dropped his eyes
back to the table and his plate of food.
He knew his father was disappointed with him but Adam was old enough to
make his own decisions.
“Joseph, what about
you? Were you aware of what was going on
between this woman and your brother?”
Joe didn’t like to be
caught in the middle of a family fight, nor in his father’s anger, anymore than
his brothers but he knew that his eldest brother was happy with Michelle. Surely their father had noticed the change in
Adam because it was obvious to everyone on the ranch that he was in love. Even he and Adam had stopped their petty
bickering as Joe no longer felt Adam was peering over his shoulder all the time
while working. Smiling to himself, Joe
thought it was actually the opposite. With Adam’s mind elsewhere, Joe could do
the chores the way he wanted, without incurring Adam’s unwelcome
directions.
“I didn’t tell you
because I’ve seen how happy he is with Michelle.”
Dissatisfied with his
sons’ replies, Ben swung back around to face Adam, the source of his anger.
“You haven’t answered
me, Adam, how long? Or do I have to ask questions twice in this household
before I receive an answer?”
Irritated by the line
of questioning and his father’s tone of voice, Adam suddenly stood up from the
table. With the backs of his legs, he
sent his chair crashing to the floor.
Hoss and Joe winced at the sound while Hop Sing came running from the
kitchen to see what caused the noise.
Ben held his glare on Adam, not phased by the dramatic action with the
chair.
Enough was enough. Normally Adam would keep his anger under
control and remain civil with his father but today was very different. He was annoyed that his father would treat
him like a schoolboy in front of his brothers and besides he felt he could see
whomever he chose.
Throwing his napkin
onto his plate of half-finished food, he disrespectfully turned away from his
father and started towards the stairs.
Ignoring his father’s question as he strode across the room, his
shoulders stiff with barely restrained anger.
This was all wrong. Everyone
should be happy about finding out about Michelle and his love for her, not
angry.
“I’m going upstairs
to pack my bag because I’ll be staying in town from now on.” He could feel three pairs of eyes on his back
as he walked up the stairs, clumping his feet angrily. He knew he was acting like a spoilt child but
if he was going to be treated like one he may as well be one.
Ben Cartwright sat
stunned and open-mouthed at the table.
He was shocked that Adam was leaving home. Furthermore he was shocked by the way in
which Adam had spoken to him. Was his
life at the ranch so difficult he felt it necessary to leave?
Certainly Adam had
never been one to share his feelings, he’d always kept them locked up inside
him, but this was different. Was it
because of his relationship with this woman?
Shaking his head he looked at Hoss in puzzlement.
“Hoss, what’s going
on? What happened?”
Reaching for his
father’s clenched fist on the table, Hoss covered it, trying to calm him.
“Just wait, Pa, I’ll
tell ya everything I know, when Adam’s gone.”
“Gone. I don’t want him gone.” Ben cried.
“His place is here, not with this woman.
I won’t allow it.”
“Calm down, Pa or
he’ll hear you. Besides you don’t even
know her. How can you make a judgment
already about her? And I don’t think
you’re going to be able to stop him now.” said Joe, trying to calm his
father.
“I want him to hear
me. I’m going upstairs to talk this out
with him.”
Hoss jumped to his feet,
knocking his chair over with a crash and making the table shake as his thighs
hit the table on the way up. At the
sound of the second chair falling on the floor, Hop Sing came running back from
the kitchen, his hands covered with flour.
“No, leave him
be. He has to do this himself. I’m sorry, but it’s right for him. Maybe not to leave, but to see Michelle and
be with her. You just don’t understand.”
Hoss shook his head
at his father, while he still held his father’s hand, preventing him from leaving
the table and going after his eldest son.
Hoss couldn’t meet his father’s eyes, sickened by his own disrespect to
his father but knowing the reasons behind Adam’s need to leave.
Distress showed
openly on Ben’s face. Hoss was forcibly
holding him down. Never in their lives
had any of his sons acted this way toward him, as they were today. Certainly in his younger days as a growing
boy Adam had been rebellious, but what boy wasn’t.
“Joseph?”
“Please do as Hoss
says. We’ll explain it all soon.” Joe
glanced up the staircase, then back at his father. Adam should nearly be finished packing and
heading back down the stairs. He gave
Hoss a sideways glance, knowing how much holding their father to the table was
hurting all of them.
Adam heard most of
the conversation in his room, at least his father’s raised, angry voice. What right has he to be angry thought
Adam? I’m the one being accused of
something terrible. All I’m doing is
seeing a wonderful woman he thought, smiling as he recalled her. Packing the last of his clothes, he took one
final look around the room. Leaning up
against the wall, under the open window, was his guitar.
He picked it up,
running his hand along the shiny smooth wood.
Deciding to leave it behind, he carefully set it on his bed. As he did his fingers lightly played across
the strings; the sound softly filling the room.
He didn’t feel like playing music and couldn’t see himself wanting to
for quite a while.
Taking one last
glance around his room, he picked up the bag and strode across his floor,
pulling the door shut behind him.
At the sound of his
footsteps coming down the stairs, the three seated men watched Adam in
silence. Each one was wanting to say
something to prevent him from leaving but refrained from doing so. Two knew nothing was going to stop him from
leaving today, the other still surprised and unable to speak.
He didn’t bother to
look in their direction but headed straight for the door. Dropping the bag beside him, he reached out,
grabbed his gunbelt and hastily buckled it on, still
waiting for someone to say something.
With hat and coat in one hand, he tucked the bag under one arm and
reached for the door handle.
“Goodbye, son.” Said
Ben, finally finding his voice.
Adam opened the door
and stepped outside, not acknowledging the farewell. With a loud click the door
closed behind him.
CHAPTER TWO
Ben rounded on Hoss,
his voice deep with barely controlled anger.
“You can let go now,
Hoss. He’s gone, are you satisfied? Now are you going to tell me everything or
will I have to drag it out of you, piece by piece?”
Hoss let go of his
father’s arm; ashamed he had forcibly restrained his Father. He didn’t know where to begin. Raising his eyes to meet his father’s he
started.
“It started a couple of
months ago, just after the last yearling sale.”
“Two months ago. This has been going on for two months and you
didn’t have the courtesy to tell me? I
had to find out by overhearing the gossips in town.”
Ben left the table and
began pacing in front of the fireplace.
His mind milling over the length of Adam’s affair, conducted under his
nose.
Hoss continued. “Adam
met her in the International Restaurant when he was dining alone, ‘cause we’d
all gone home. He was late finishing the
paperwork for the sales that day and decided to eat at the restaurant. Anyways they got to talking and he’s been
seeing her ever since then.”
“What about her husband?”
Joe stepped in and
answered his father. “Adam said he was
missing, presumed dead in a railroad accident.
The carriages had fallen into a river, when a bridge gave way. It appears the searches never found his
body.”
“When and where did
all this happen?”
“I think outside
Ben stopped pacing,
taking in all that had been said. He was
very upset that Adam hadn’t told him but the new information was calming him
down. Could his eldest son no longer
speak to him? Were they so distant that
they couldn’t discuss what he was doing, whom he was seeing?
“Why didn’t he tell
me?” Ben asked, despair now replacing the anger in his voice.
“
Joe jumped into the
conversation again, to help explain Adam’s actions.
“He’s been so happy
with her,
Ben began to recall
the past two months. They’d all been so
busy with the round up and breaking in the yearlings that he realized he hadn’t
noticed the change in Adam. If that
hadn’t been enough there had been the details of the lumber contract to be
sorted out. Ben was tormented by the
fact he’d been too busy for his eldest son to talk to him. He’d prided himself on the fact that he had a
good, open relationship with his sons.
That they could come to him with any problems they had or discuss
anything they wanted; at least he thought they could. Clearing his throat self-consciously, he
questioned his two remaining sons.
“Have either of you
two met her?”
Hoss and Joe both
shook their heads. “Nah, the day we saw
them in the buggy, Adam was so embarrassed at being seen that he didn’t
introduce us. He told us later that day
after they’d finished their ride.” Said Joe. “He was waiting outside of town to
talk to us on the ride home. He asked us
not to say anything to you, because he knew you’d be angry with him. He wanted to tell you himself, at the right
time. I guess the right time never came up.”
“Well I’m going to
have to meet this woman whom Adam just left home for.”
CHAPTER THREE
Michelle….Adam was
sure she was going to be surprised at his decision to stay in town. From the
very beginning their relationship had been difficult to keep from his
father. Discretion was one thing but
Adam couldn’t help feeling he was being dishonest by not telling his
father. He knew all along that when his
father found out the truth, he’d be disappointed it had been kept from him.
Michelle wanted to
start their relationship slowly and they discussed, in detail, her husband’s
disappearance because, legally, she was still married. Adam had told her that as far as he was concerned,
because Stewart had been missing nearly six months, it was time for her to get
on with her life. She was too young a
woman to pine her life away for a man who for all appearances was dead.
For the first time in
his life he’d let a woman into his heart and he was savoring every moment he
spent with her. Michelle was everything
he’d ever wanted; attractive, with long dark brown hair and soft pale
skin.
Educated with honors
in the East, she matched him with intellectual conversation and although she’d
never ventured West until recently with her husband, she loved the open spaces
and beautiful countryside.
She and her husband
had only been married three months when the accident occurred. After paying for extra searchers to look for
her husband, she’d finally realized the hopelessness and decided to return to
the east. Her finances were running low
and to continue with the unsuccessful searches would have drained what little
remained. When she met Adam, she’d been
staying overnight in
Adam grinned as he
remembered their first meeting in the restaurant. He’d had papers spread all over the dining
table when she’d asked to sit with him.
He’d look up at the soft voice, into the face of a woman he instantly
thought was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. In his haste to clear the table, he’d
clumsily knocked most of the papers onto the floor. They both laughed and when each had bent down
to gather the scattered papers their hands accidentally touched. Adam felt shivers run up his arm at the touch
before she’s hastily pulled her hand back, breaking the contact. Pink with embarrassment, Michelle stood up
quickly and sat at the table while Adam finished collecting the documents and
stuffed them into his portfolio. After
their meal and while sipping on their coffee, Michelle quietly, with barely
controlled tears, told him her story.
Adam knew instantly
how she felt at the loss of her husband of three months. He’d lost three mothers; two he remembered
clearly. The first, Elizabeth his birth
mother, he didn’t remember because he’d been an infant when she’d died. But Inger, Hoss’s mother, he’d known and loved with all the loving
possible of a boy.
His relationship with
Marie, Joe’s mother, had been fierce and strained until he’d finally let her
into his heart. He’d been afraid to love
her because all the women he’d loved so far had been torn from him. To have lost one mother had scarred deeply
into his heart, he’d adored Inger but when Marie had
died he’d been devastated. He’d had no
chance to grieve because his father had ceased to live at that point or to care
about his three sons. Adam had been forced,
by being the oldest son, to assume the family and ranch responsibilities until
a near accident with Joe had brought his father back to reality.
From the date of
Marie’s death, Adam had shielded his feelings, vowing never to be hurt again by
love. Even his father and brothers were
unable to penetrate the tight impenetrable defenses Adam had built around
himself, unless he let them. To Adam to
show his true love for his family and brothers would have been the same he’d
shown Inger and Marie. If distancing himself from his feelings
meant being cold, aloof and withdrawn he would do it, if only for
self-preservation.
Adam knew he’d never
survive the loss of someone close to his heart again, so he avoided getting
into that situation all together. He
didn’t want to think about what would happen if he ever lost Michelle; no, they
would never be apart.
The long ride into
town helped ease his mind of the argument with his father. Adam had hoped his father would understand
why he’d gone behind his back but if he didn’t or wouldn’t, then they’d both
have to live with his decision. Michelle had become more important to him than
his life at the Ponderosa, not that he wanted to leave. He was prepared to sacrifice everything for
her; even his family. Her company was
enchanting, exhilarating and he was enjoying every minute spent with her.
The sun was setting
as Adam reigned his horse outside the livery stable and Buck Kelly the owner,
met him at the door.
“You staying in town
tonight, Adam?” queried Buck, noticing the bag slung over Adam’s saddle.
“Yeah, Buck. Put
Sport away for me will you, I’m in town for a while.”
Adam untied the bag
and slung it over his left shoulder as he strode towards the International
Hotel, smiling to himself in the evening light.
After saying a quick hello to the night clerk and a request for an early
breakfast to be delivered to his room, he collected his key and ran up the
stairs two at a time. Still hurrying at
the top landing, he rounded the corner and collided with another guest coming
in the opposite direction.
“Sorry,” Adam said. “My fault, I wasn’t watching where
I was going.”
The guest nodded his
head and continued down the stairs. In
the dim hallway lighting Adam couldn’t see the man’s face because his hat was
pulled right down, nearly to his eyes.
Shrugging his shoulders, Adam smiled to himself and knocked on the door
to Room 6.
“Yes? Who is it?” came a sweet woman’s voice from
behind the closed door. The door opened
slightly and Adam grinned at the face of a young dark-haired woman.
‘My God, you are
beautiful woman.’ He thought. “Hello,
pleased to see me?”
Michelle opened the
door wider and glanced up the hallway before grabbing Adam’s arm and pulling
him into the room.
Adam was amused to
see an anxious expression upon her face. It was as if she expected the town gossips
to see him entering her room at this hour.
“What are you doing
here? I thought we weren’t seeing each
other tonight.” She said, concern coloring her voice. Barely inside the room, Adam threw the bag on
the floor. He was delighted to see her and
wrapped his arms around her in a swift, impulsive movement.
“Is that anyway to
greet your love?” He said, kissing her
lips passionately. His left hand moving
from her waist to caress her face. Michelle
reached between their bodies and placed her hands on his chest, pushing him
back slightly so she could look at his face, all the while still enwrapped in
his embrace. She gazed into his eyes, a
bemused expression now on her face.
“I’m just surprised
to see you, Adam, that’s all. Why are
you in town tonight?”
“Pa found out about
us and he wasn’t at all happy with the news.
I wasn’t prepare to sit through a lecture, so I left and came here to be
with you.”
“Oh, Adam, you know I
didn’t want you to have a disagreement with your father over me. Will he understand why you left and how you
feel about me?” Michelle was deeply
distressed by Adam’s news and she felt tears forming quickly in her eyes.
She knew from the way
Adam talked about his father and family how much he loved them, even if he
didn’t say it outright. The argument
must have been horrible enough for him to want to leave the house at this time
of evening.
“Yeah, Pa’ll come around.
He’ll have to.” Placing his hand under her chin, he lifted her head so
she looked directly into his eyes. “Because I want you to marry me.”
“Adam, what a
wonderful surprise. I wasn’t expecting
you to ask me so soon.”
“Well?” asked Adam,
his eyes bright with happiness. All he
needed now was for her to say yes.
With only a slight
hesitation, which Adam thought was sweet, Michelle gave him her answer.
“Oh Yes, Adam, I
will. Yes, Yes, Yes.”
Laughing, Adam kissed
her again, then picking her up in his arms, waltzed her around the room. Michelle giggled in his arms, cuddling into
him closely, her arms wrapped around his neck.
“Mrs
Michelle Cartwright. It has a good sound
to it. I like it.” Adam said as he set
her down on her feet beside the bed. He
felt into his coat pocket and bought out the key to his room.
Michelle reached out
with her index finger and gently rattled the key and tag as she looked into his
face.
“I don’t think you’ll be needing that
tonight.” She said huskily. “In fact I
don’t want you to leave this room until morning.”
“Darling, I’d love to
stay but um…I don’t think it’s appropriate under the circumstances. I should leave now before…” Adam’s face and
eyes betrayed his thoughts to her.
“Stay with me Adam, I
want you to make love to me. Forget
what’s happened between you and your father and just hold me. I need you.”
Michelle could see she’d convinced him to stay as, after a long moment
of thought, his expression changed from one of indecision to desire.
His longing for her
outweighed his conscience and sense of propriety.
With a deft flick of
his wrist, from years of practice throwing horseshoes with his brothers, he
threw the key on the dresser table.
Michelle held out her
arms to him and as he entered her embrace he groaned, the depth of passion he
felt for his future wife overcame him.
CHAPTER FOUR
Supper at the
Cartwright dining table was subdued for the remainder of the night. Ben stared at the chair opposite him. His eldest son’s chair was empty and the
half-eaten plate left by him remained on the table. He knew that one day the chairs for all his
sons would be empty but the circumstances surrounding Adam’s announcement left
a bitter taste in his mouth. He’d
expected the time to be happy and enjoyable, not angry because of an argument.
He agonized over why
he hadn’t seen the change in Adam. Yes,
he had been coming home late in the evenings from town, but Ben had put that
down to the business dealings, which he entrusted to Adam.
He trusted Adam with
his Power Of Attorney to arrange whatever business arrangements necessary and
see them through, so he’d had no reason to suspect anything else. When Adam arrived home late the last few
months, he’d discuss the days business with his father then headed off to bed. Besides tending to his chores around the
ranch, Adam had enjoyed the challenge of conducting the ranch deals with his
father’s full approval. Ben had thought
about reducing some of Adam’s ranch chores but somehow the perfect time to
discuss the subject with all his sons had never come up.
Looking back, Ben
thought of the last time Adam had come home from town and sat drinking coffee
with his family while they finished eating.
He said he’d already eaten in town because he knew he’d be late for
dinner. All the signs were there but he
hadn’t seen them for what they were; his son was seeing a woman. Ben put his knife and fork down on his plate,
his appetite gone. He pushed the plate
away and reached into his pocket for his pipe and tobacco. While he filled the pipe he mulled over what
he wanted to say to his two remaining sons.
“How serious is the
relationship Adam has with her? Either
one of you can answer me and I don’t care who, just as long as I get a straight
answer.” He asked in a voice thick with
more emotion than he intended.
Hoss quickly finished
off his mouthful of food before he answered his father. He knew his father disliked anyone talking
with their mouth full.
“I know he’s really
stuck on her,
“She was in
church? Near us?” Ben was surprised, very surprised Adam had
been with her in church. He couldn’t
recall any woman in Adam’s company. No
Hoss must have been mistaken. He shook his head and took a deep suck on his
pipe for comfort, the smoke wafting slowly into the air.
“Yes,
“Sneaky huh,
Ben looked at Hoss
incredulously. “But he can’t.”
A confused look
passed between Hoss and Joe before both turned to look at their father, curious
as to his reasons.
“Why not? Why can’t he be courting Michelle?”
“Haven’t I taught you
boys anything or haven’t any of you been bothered to listen? Adam is seeing a married woman and I did not
raise my sons to be adulterers.”
“But Pa, Michelle’s
husband is dead and besides Adam likes her.” Said Joe. He couldn’t understand why his father was
upset about Adam being happy. Would the
same thing happen to him if he fell in love with a woman who Pa didn’t approve
of?
“Joseph, in the eyes
of the law, she is still a married woman.
He shouldn’t be courting her let alone possibly wanting to marry
her. I won’t let him.”
Hoss looked at his father, his eyes and face betrayed his sadness.
“Even though Adam is
the happiest he’s ever been, you’ll stand in his way just because she might
still be married under the law. Don’t
you think you’re being a might unreasonable?”
Ben was surprised by
Hoss’ outburst. Hoss was slow to anger
and yet very aware of his father and brother’s opposing feelings about this
woman, Michelle.
Surely he’d been a
blind fool about Adam’s feelings for her and he was still being a blind fool
about her relationship with Adam. How
could he possibly form an opinion on someone he’d never met? Besides a
discussion with their lawyer could clear the matter up of whether she was still
married or not.
Smiling at Hoss he
reached over to him and gave him a slap on the shoulder.
“Yes, Hoss, you’re
right. I am being unreasonable. I think I’ll go into town in the morning and
invite them to dinner. That way I can
get to know her, Michelle, and see for myself what Adam feels about her. Then I’ll decide whether to stop him or not.”
Hoss and Joe grinned
at their father. Both happy that for now
they were getting somewhere with their father on Adam and Michelle’s behalf.
“Pa?”
“Yes, Hoss?”
“Have you forgotten that you’re tree-marking tomorrow morning with Adam?”
After a brief moment
of thought, Ben replied.
“Yes, I had
forgotten. Joseph, go into town early in
the morning and invite your brother and Michelle to dinner for tomorrow
night. Make dinner around 7.30.”
“Pa, that means I’ll have to be out of bed real early. Do I have to?
Why can’t you ask Adam when you see him?”
“Joseph, don’t argue with me. It’s quite
possible Adam won’t want to see me tomorrow, let alone spend the day with me in
the pines. Do as I say please, without
the discussion.”
Joe replied with a
big sigh and roll of his eyes. “Yes,
“Joseph, how many
times have I told you not to talk with food in your mouth?”
“Pa?”
“Yes?” Ben gave Joe a
look out of the corner of his eye. The tone
of voice Joe used usually meant trouble.
“Best of luck
stopping him.” Laughing, Joe continued.
“You know how stubborn Adam is when his mind is made up about
something. Sort of reminds you of
someone else, doesn’t it Pa?”
“We’ll see Joe, we’ll
see.”
Later that evening,
after Hoss and Little Joe had gone to bed, Ben opened the door and walked into
Adam’s empty room. There was just enough moonlight coming through the window
for him to see the now abandoned room. Even
without Adam physically in the room, Ben could feel him. He made his way over
to the dresser and picked up the portrait of Adam’s mother, Elizabeth. With his
large fingers he gently reached out and touched her face, the glass cold on his
fingertips. She would have known what to
do and how to handle their distraught son - most likely a lot better than he
just had.
Still holding her
picture tightly in his hand, he ran his other along the neatly stacked books on
the shelf. Below the shelf, on the
desktop, was a book the open pages lying face down. Mindful of not loosing the place in the book,
Ben lifted it up, closer to his face and read the title in the moonlight
drifting into the room.
Adam Milton
Cartwright,
Ben wiped the tears
away with his shirt cuff as he returned the book to its place on the desktop
and turned for the door.
Lying on top of the
bed, nestled softly into the bedcovers, was Adam’s guitar. Ben was surprised
he’d left his beloved guitar behind and not in it’s regular place of leaning
against the wall below the window.
Usually when Ben saw Adam strumming the guitar in his room, he’d be
reclining back in the chair with the two front chair legs off the floor, his
feet popped up on the windowsill as he gazed out the window. Ben smiled at the memory, of Adam happily
playing the guitar that Marie had given him.
His son had left two
very important possessions behind, so maybe there was hope yet, to solve their
differences. Or maybe he didn’t want
reminders of the sometimes emotionally painful past. Whatever the reason, Ben knew he had to talk,
alone, with his son.
Ben placed the
picture back on the dresser, facing the bed.
Having one last look around the room he left, leaving the door
open. The door would always remain open
for his first born.
Tomorrow he was
meeting Adam to tree-mark the western section for the railway contract Adam had
secured. He and Adam would have plenty
of time to talk.
CHAPTER FIVE
Yawning, Adam rolled
over and snuggled closer to Michelle’s warm supple body. He wrapped his arm around her waist, feeling
her warm, soft skin with the palm of his hand.
“Mmmm,
that’s nice. Keep that up Adam Cartwright and you won’t get out of this bed,
let alone the room today.”
“Would that be so
bad?” mumbled Adam into her soft hair, his eyes still shut, wanting to forget
he was to meet his father today. He
wriggled his body closer to hers, their curves matching each other like spoons.
Michelle gave a soft,
throaty laugh. “Yes, you have to go to
work and I have to start planning a wedding.
Or had you forgotten that?”
“I’d rather stay
here, where it’s nice and warm instead of confronting my father. I have a feeling that meeting is going to be
very cold.”
“Chicken.” Michelle started to giggle as he lightly
played his fingers against her waist.
Mischievously, Adam tickled her harder and they burst into laughter,
enjoying each other’s happiness.
“You deserved that,
woman.” He said, finally stopping his tickling but keeping his hands where they
were on her body. With mock anger he continued
“Imagine calling your future husband a chicken. I’m outraged.”
“What happened to the
man who wanted to leave last night, but didn’t?”
Adam gave Michelle an
embarrassed laugh.
“Well he’s still
here, just in hiding for a while longer, that’s all.”
Turning her gently to
face him, he smiled into her eyes, amazed at how complete he felt with
her. If he was given a choice, he’d
stay with her all day but knew his father would be marking trees this morning
and he’d promised him he’d assist. He’d
spent too much time on the contract to waste the effort on an argument with his
father. Even though they’d had the
argument about Michelle, Adam would still carry out his ranch chores. He could never abandon his responsibilities
to his father and brothers.
The Ponderosa was
their life but Adam wanted a life aside from the ranch too. But convincing his father that he could have
both was going to be difficult.
“Is it daylight yet,
Darling?” murmured Michelle into Adam’s chest.
She was wrapped closely into his body by his strong arms and she could
feel his heart beating; his chest rising and falling with each breath.
Reluctantly opening
one eye Adam and squinted at the window over the top of her hair, the curtains
were half drawn. Sighing he finally
said. “Yes it is, looks like I’d better
get moving or I’ll be late.”
Adam raised an arm
and lifted her chin with his fingers, which brought her lips to his. He kissed her passionately. Both still felt the warm effects of their
lovemaking during the night before. The
memory brought an instant response from his body and snuggled so closely
together, Michelle could not help but notice the effect on him.
He studied her face
in the early morning light, content with the notion of waking up beside her
every morning for the rest of his life.
Both were startled out of their reverie when they heard a loud knock at
their door.
“Were you expecting
anyone at this hour? Did you order
breakfast by any chance?” asked Adam, as his stomach gave a rumble at being
empty. He recalled he hadn’t finished
his dinner last night, so no wonder he was hungry.
Blinking vigorously
to clear her eyes and head, Michelle smiled.
“No I didn’t. I’ve been having my breakfast in the
restaurant.”
“I’ll go see who it
is.” Adam said, throwing off the covers and padding on bare feet towards the
door.
“Adam.” Began
Michelle, as she broke into giggles of laughter. “Don’t you think you’d better
put some clothes on, or at least some pants?
You’re a very handsome man to look at, when you’re unclothed, and I have
noticed, but is it possible the person waiting outside might not think
so?” She then covered her mouth with her
hand to smother the sound of the giggles.
Embarrassed by what
he’d nearly done, Adam reached out for a towel, which was resting beside the
hand basin. He wrapped it around his
waist, tightly tucking the corner into the top as he walked to the door.
“You’d better pull
those covers over yourself, woman.” Adam grinned at her over his shoulder, not
wanting to allow her naked body to be seen by anyone but himself.
He opened the door,
ajar enough to see who was waiting in the hallway. Outside was his youngest brother, Little Joe,
grinning like a kitten with a bowl of milk, a breakfast tray balanced in his
hands.
Just moments before
Joe had entered the foyer of the hotel as the desk clerk was preparing to
deliver the tray to Adam’s room.
“Morning,
Harold. Can you tell me which room Adam
is in? He hasn’t left yet has he because
I need to talk to him urgently.”
“No he’s here.” Said
Harold after he’d glanced at the key hooks to confirm the key hadn’t been
returned. “As a matter of fact I was
about to take this breakfast tray up to his room, number 5.”
“I’ll take it up for
you seeing as how I’m going to see him.
By the way which room is Miss Michelle Sinclair in?”
“Mmmm,
she’s room 6. The next door to Adam’s.”
“How convenient. I wonder….” muttered Joe to himself as he
picked up the tray and smiled at Harold.
“Pardon?”
“Oh nothing. Just thinking out loud.”
“Hello, big brother,
nice to see you’re at least awake early on this fine morning. Mustn’t keep Pa waiting you know.” With having said his greeting, he tried to
peer around the door and Adam as he attempted to step into the room.
Amused by Joe’s
actions but not wanting to let him see anymore than he could, Adam closed the
door a fraction further. “Joe, do you
mind? I do.”
Knowing he wasn’t
going to see any further into the room, Joe made a show of closely scrutinizing
the door number. With a puzzled
expression on his face, he looked at his older brother out of the corner of his
eye.
“Now that’s funny,
I’m sure the desk clerk said you were supposed to be in room 5 not 6? I knocked on 5 but there was no answer, but
here you are in 6. I wonder why that
is?” Joe finished off his sentence with a cheeky smile only he could give,
barely holding back his laugh. He was
enjoying embarrassing his brother. It
wasn’t often Adam presented him with an opportunity like he had right now. Joe couldn’t resist.
With another cheeky
grin, which reminded Adam of Joe as a child, he continued. “I can’t hold this
heavy tray all day you know, do you mind if I came in….” as he stepped towards
the door, with a half-hearted attempt to move Adam aside.
“Stay right where you
are little brother and just hand me the tray, if you don’t mind.” Said Adam sternly as he smiled at Joe,
letting him have his fun at his expense.
He knew Joe was going to play this out for all it’s worth and knew,
given the same opportunity, he’d do the same.
No doubt when Joe told Hoss, he’d have more teasing waiting for him, but
then that was typical of his brothers.
“What are you doing
here this early anyway, Joe? You’re
usually in bed yourself at this hour and after a ride from the ranch too, I
might add.”
Joe’s grin faded from
his face as he recalled the reason for the early visit.
“Pa wants to invite you
and Michelle to dinner tonight. I had to
give you the message before you left for the ranch. Will you both come please? Pa, Hoss and me’d
love to meet Michelle, really Adam. He’s
sorry he yelled at you last night, you know.
He was just surprised and disappointed that you didn’t let him know
sooner, that’s all. About Michelle, I
mean.” As an after thought he
added. ”I also came into town to see
Anne at the saloon, for a few minutes.”
Adam gave him a
questioning look as he hastily grabbed the tray from Joe, turned and placed it
on the nearby chair.
“Stay where you are,
Joe.” Replied Adam as he walked closer to the bed.
He raised his
eyebrows at Michelle as he looked down at her.
She’d drawn the covers up under her chin so that only her face was left.
“Well, what do you
think, Michelle? Do you want to go? We won’t if you don’t want to. Nobody is forcing you to do anything.”
Michelle slid her
hand out from under the covers and placed it gently on his arm, softly
squeezing it reassuringly. “I think we
should have dinner with your family Adam.
I don’t want you to argue with your father over me, they’re your
family. Besides, I’d like to get to know
your brothers as well as your father; as I’m sure they’d like to have the
opportunity to know me.”
Adam gave her one of his rare smiles that she had come to love as he walked
back to the door and his patiently waiting little brother. He was grateful
she’d agreed to have dinner with his father and brothers because he needed to
talk with his father.
“Tell Pa that we’ll
have dinner but here, downstairs in the restaurant, not at home.
I’ll make the
reservation for tonight….make it around
With that said and a
farewell grin, Adam shut the door firmly in Joe’s face, not waiting for his
reply. Adam wanted to meet his father,
but on his terms, not his father’s. In
the restaurant neither would be able to argue the point, without creating a
scene, which he knew his father would go to great lengths to avoid.
Michelle would feel
more comfortable, as he knew how imposing his father and the ranch were to
unsuspecting visitors.
**********
He’d shown her the
ranch house 3 weeks ago when his father and brothers had been away for 2 days,
checking on the lower section fence-line. While passing Hop Sing on the road
that morning, they’d waved to him as he headed the buckboard into town for
their supplies. A chore usually attended
to by either Hoss, Joe or himself but with everyone gone from the ranch Hop
Sing had to do it himself.
For once the Cartwright
house had been peaceful and quiet. With no one around to interrupt them, they’d
taken the opportunity to make love in the intimate privacy of his room. Although hesitant at first, he’d agreed to
Michelle’s insistence of making love in his bed. Something he’d never wanted to or been able
to do before, without the fear of someone walking in on him. Little Joe had a habit, from his early
childhood days, of entering his room without knocking first, even when the door
was shut.
He continued to smile
as he remembered Michelle, wandering around in his room while he sat on the
edge of the bed. After admiring the
lower rooms of the house, Michelle had wanted to see the room where he spent
his spare time and slept. She’d run her
fingers gently over the book spines and read the titles he kept on the shelf
above his writing desk. Then they’d
spent some time discussing the works of the respective authors.
Picking up his
guitar, Michelle awkwardly played a few notes and with a touch of regret in her
voice, admitted she’d never had lessons or bothered to learn.
Her parents had
taught her to read music and play the piano and even though learning was
difficult at first, she missed not playing; how she enjoyed the feeling of
loosing herself in the music. He’d told
her he was sorry that they didn’t have a piano because he’d loved to have heard
her play. Now, he thought, he could buy
her one when they were married, as a wedding gift, and she could play whenever
she wanted. He felt his love for her
grow as he realized they shared many of the same loves for music and
literature.
With a playful laugh
she’d pushed him back on the bed, his feet still on the floor, her hands
resting against his chest. Her body
began to move against his, igniting a longing he had to fight hard to
control. Michelle noticed his reaction
and her desire for him had swept aside all his thoughts of honorable
intentions. Adam wrapped his arms
around her, pulling her closer and rolling her under him. Their kisses and closeness had ignited a
passion that neither was prepared to ignore.
Under her eyelashes, and with a soft smile,
Michelle closely watched Adam dress. She
enjoyed seeing his smooth muscles ripple across his back and arms as he pulled first
his jeans and then his boots on.
Smiling wickedly to
herself, she observed him as he buttoned up his fly. Out of the corner of his eye, Adam caught her
looking at him and noticed the direction of her gaze.
He laughed as she
self-consciously blushed, having been caught so brazenly watching him. Once he finished the last of his buttons and
buckled the belt, Adam crossed the floor to her grabbing her tightly in his
arms, crushing her to his body.
“I love you, you
shameless woman. So much that it hurts
to think what would happen if I ever lost you.”
“Adam, you’ll never
loose me because we’ve only just found each other.” whispered Michelle into
Adam’s ear as her breath tickled his ear, sending shivers down his spine.
Grudgingly pushing
his desire aside, Adam released her.
Then he threw on his shirt and buckled up the gun belt. Shining a glossy black in the morning light,
the holster was slung low on his right thigh, blending into one form, just the
way she liked thought Michelle. In one
smooth motion he drew the gun and spun the cylinder as he made sure each
chamber was loaded. Just as swiftly he
holstered the gun and began rolling up the long sleeves of his shirt.
“You eat the
breakfast I ordered, sweetheart, I’ll have something downstairs in the
restaurant, on my way out.”
“Mmmm,
thanks.” Murmured Michelle, as she snuggled back into the cozy bed. ”I’ll stay
here for a little while longer.”
Adam collected his
hat from the back of the chair, bent over and gave her one last, long
kiss. It was going to be a long,
difficult day without her to keep him company and the afternoon was aways off. Shaking his head decisively, he brushed aside
the strong longing to stay with her and avoid meeting his father.
Quietly closing the
door behind him, Adam strode down the hallway.
The black hat now firmly placed on his head and both thumbs tucked into
his gun belt. His deep thoughts now
firmly onto the coming meeting with his father.
He wasn’t looking forward to facing his father, not after his rude behavior
and walking out on him at the dinner table last night.
As he collected his
horse from the livery, mounted and headed towards the ranch, he wondered how
much his father had warmed towards his relationship with Michelle. Time will
tell he thought, time will tell.
CHAPTER SIX
When he’d finished
breakfast and headed out the front door to the barn, Ben wasn’t surprised to
see Adam waiting outside the house. What
he was surprised about was that Adam hadn’t come inside to say greet his brothers,
after all it was still his home. Or did
Adam no longer call the Ponderosa his home?
Having arrived
earlier than planned, Adam realized his father wasn’t ready to leave. He quietly dismounted and entered the
familiar barn, the hay on the floor rustling under the soles of his boots as he
walked to the stall. Giving his father’s
horse a soft rub down the nose, he grabbed Buck’s saddle blanket, saddle and
bridle then began to prepare him for his father. By the time Ben had finished
eating and collected his gun and hat, Adam was back on his horse, holding
Buck’s reins; waiting for him.
“Hello, Adam.” Said
Ben pleasantly, as Adam handed him the reins.
“Morning,
“Why didn’t you come
inside, son?” Ben said, asking the
obvious question of his son and curious to know what his answer would be.
Adam gave his father
a half smile before he answered, his dark eyes remained on his father - ready
to see what reaction his comment would bring.
“Wasn’t sure I was
welcome anymore.”
Ben’s anger flared in
him as he glared at his son across the saddle on his horse. He delayed his reply while he grabbed a hold
of the saddle horn and mounted, fighting to control his emotions and well aware
that Adam was studying him. Ben could
see Adam had deliberately provoked a response from him. Anger wasn’t the best emotion right now, he
thought, sadness would be better.
Sadness for a father and son who couldn’t see eye to eye on an issue so
very important to the son. They were so
much alike; determination tempered by stubbornness with neither willing to back
down from their choice. Would this
matter with Michelle tear them apart forever?
If Adam felt he was no longer welcome in his own home already what more
would happen before the situation was settled.
Would he feel the
same with every woman his sons decided they wanted for a wife? Would his existence in their life feel
threatened by a woman who wanted to be part of his son’s life? Is this what Adam’d
been feeling when he’d brought Marie to live with them as his wife?
Jealousy? Surely it was much more than
that.
“How could you
possibly think such a thing? You and your brothers will always be welcome in my
house.” He said, keeping the tone of his voice as neutral as possible.
“That’s right Pa,
your house, not mine, not Hoss’, not Little Joe’s, yours. It’s not as though I’m asking you for the
world where Michelle is concerned is it?
What is it that’s got you all so fired up? Is it the fact that you found out about us
from those gossiping women in town and not from me? Or is it Michelle because you think I’m
having an affair with a married woman, even though her husband’s dead? Would you have preferred she’d been a whore
from the Silver Dollar? Now I could understand you getting annoyed if that was
the case but it isn’t. You’ve made it
very plain, so far, that she’s not welcome in your house. I guess that means I’ll have to get my own
house.” Adam snapped back.
“Damn it,
“You can stay right
where you are, Adam, because I don’t want you with me in the mood you’re in.”
“The mood I’m
in? Hah, anyway I promised I’d help you
and I won’t go back on my word. Besides
I’ve invested too much time and effort into that railway tie contract to let it
go by.” With that he nudged his horse
and left Ben in the yard, alone.
Taking a sorrowful
view around the yard and towards the house, Ben saw Hoss and Little Joe
standing on the porch, their unhappy faces indicating they’d heard the heated
exchange between father and eldest son.
With a dejected shrug of his shoulders, Ben kicked his horse into action
and followed Adam out of the yard.
Theirs was a
miserable day spent tree marking.
Whenever Ben spoke to Adam, all he received in reply were curt answers
of ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ with a ‘Maybe’ thrown in.
Adam, in turn asked no questions, completing each task exactly as his
father instructed. It was late afternoon
before they wearily rode back into the yard, the strained silence continuing.
Reining up in front
of the barn, Adam kicked his right boot free from the stirrup and sat cross
legged on his horse, his fingers playing gently with Sport’s mane. With a cool
gaze of his own, Adam met his father’s eyes as Ben loosened the cinch on his
horse.
“You coming to dinner
tonight?” Adam asked carefully of his father.
Holding in a tight
grip the saddle he’d just removed from Buck’s back, Ben replied, with a light
touch of sarcasm, unable to completely restrain his irritation with his
son.
“Wouldn’t miss it for
the world.” Instantly regretting the tone as he saw Adam flinch.
“I’ll bet.” Came
Adam’s cutting reply.
Ben shook his head,
surprised by his own remark. Intent on
making amends, Ben dropped the saddle and rested his hand on Adam’s crossed
leg.
“The sarcasm wasn’t
necessary, I know and I’m sorry. It’s
been a hard day. I’d like to meet this Michelle of yours.” Ben said sincerely,
trying to be civil.
The hurt he was
feeling towards his father was reflected in Adam’s antagonistic voice.
“This ‘Michelle of
mine’ as you put it, is looking forward to meeting you and my brothers. So be nice, for her sake, not mine. Nothing
you say now, or later will make me change my mind about her Pa, just remember
that.”
‘Why did he have to
be so blunt and stubbornly unforgiving where it concerns Michelle.’ Thought
Adam as he waited for his father’s reply.
“
“Yeah, that’s right.”
The strained silence
between them continued for a further few minutes, until Ben removed his hand
from Adam’s leg and bent over to pick up the saddle from where he’d dropped
it. Taking this action by his father to
mean the conversation was over, Adam gave Sport a swift nudge. The horse bolted forward, giving Ben no time
to yell his Goodbye before they were around the corner of the barn and out of
sight. Deep in reflective thought, he
continued to stare after them, long after the sound of hoof-beats had faded in
the evening air.
Sighing to himself,
Ben carried the saddle into the barn and threw it on the rack. Leaning against the saddle, his elbows
resting on the seat, Ben dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his tired
eyes. How could he and Adam get so far
down this path without hurting their relationship more before it was over? Could they recover what they had in the past
or was it already too late?
Using the cuff of his
shirtsleeve, Ben wiped the corner of his eyes.
He wished, with all his heart that Adam would ride back in and all would
be back to normal, but sadly aware it wouldn’t happen. His sad, lonely child had grown up and found
happiness away from home. Did he, as his
father, have the right to stand in his son’s way to reach the happiness he
earned so gruelingly over the past years?
Did he have the right to hold him to the ranch, to him? He pushed himself away, turned and picked up
Buck’s brush. As he did he caught a
movement in the corner of his eye.
“Adam….” he said
spinning around to face the form in the barn doorway.
“No… just me and
Little Joe.” Replied Hoss dejectedly as they stepped out of the shadows and
into the light of the lantern.
“Oh. I thought it might have been your brother.”
Disappointed, Ben swung back to Buck and started to vigorously rub him down.
“How’d the day go,
Pa? Get anything settled between you and
him?” Joe asked quietly. He already knew
the answer having heard the exchange between his father and brother from the
bunkhouse.
“Only what we set out
to do and that was mark the trees.” Ben replied, not facing his sons. “As for he and Michelle, nothing. Dinner is still planned for tonight, so we’d
better get moving otherwise we’ll be late.”
“You look all
tuckered out Pa, want me to finish Buck for you?”
“Thanks Hoss, I’d
appreciate it. It was a difficult day
with your stubborn brother, to say the least.”
“We guessed it
might’ve been somethin’ like that.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Dressed in their
Sunday best, Ben, Hoss and Joe were waiting in the foyer of the International
Hotel, when Adam, with Michelle holding firmly onto his arm, walked down the
stairs towards them.
Hoss broke into a
huge grin. “Look at you two. You look like you’re going to a weddin’ instead of dinner.”
An instantaneous
smile passed between Adam and Michelle, which didn’t go unnoticed by Ben.
“Why you just have to
be, Hoss.” Said Michelle smiling, as she looked up into Hoss’ beaming
face. “Adam has spoken so much of you.”
Stepping in front of
Hoss and deftly taking her hand before kissing it lightly, Joe smugly
interrupted Hoss.
“Hello, Michelle,
it’s nice to finally put a face to the voice.”
“Why, Little Joe, how
gallant of you. I wonder who taught you
that?” she replied with a dazzling smile at Adam, then Joe. ‘Two easily
conquered, the hardest one to go.’ She thought.
With her hand
remaining firmly gripped on his arm, his other hand covering hers, Adam guided
Michelle over to his father who had waited aside, while Hoss and Joe said their
greetings.
“Michelle Sinclair,
I’d like to introduce you to my father, Benjamin Cartwright. Benjamin Cartwright, Michelle Sinclair…. soon
to be Mrs Adam Cartwright.”
On the ride to town
from the Ponderosa that same afternoon, Adam had decided to make the
announcement as soon as possible. That
way his father and brothers knew exactly how he felt about Michelle and what
she meant to him.
Stunned by the sudden
announcement, Ben politely gave a small bow to Michelle, with his head.
“Mrs
Sinclair, a pleasure to meet you.” He said, emphasizing the Mrs. If his son was
going to play chess with him, then he would to.
The first opening moves were to Adam’s favor - dinner here instead of at
the Ponderosa and now the marriage announcement. Adam had never been one for small talk,
always saying directly what his intentions were.
Adam stiffened at his
father’s use of the married title.
Michelle squeezed his arm, confident of meeting Ben Cartwright’s
approval.
“Hello Mr Cartwright. It’s
Miss Sinclair, my married name is Barnes.”
“My mistake Miss
Sinclair. Allow me Adam.” Said Ben,
taking Michelle’s arm to escort her to their table. When playing chess with Adam, Ben needed all
the advantage he could gather. Realizing
early the opening ploy of dinner in a neutral surrounding, upon their arrival,
he’d asked the maitre d’hotel which table they would
be seated at for their dinner.
With his eyes held to
Michelle and his father’s departing backs, Adam was knocked off-balance by a
heavy slap on his back.
“Congratulations,
Adam,” chuckled Hoss. “That’s one fine lookin filly,
you’re gonna marry.”
“Adam, you son of a
gun, if I’da seen her first, there’s no way she would
have gone for you, not with me around.
My charm would have won her over instantly.”
Laughing at Joe’s
comment, Adam draped his arm around Joe’s shoulders.
“Just remember,
little brother, I did see her first and that means hands off. That goes for you too, Hoss.”
Hoss turned pink with
embarrassment, as if he’d even think of stealing his brother’s intended.
“Aww,
Adam you know I’d never….” He didn’t
finish the sentence because his two brothers were doubled over with
laughter. Bursting out into a loud
laugh, Hoss joined in, realizing he’d just been the butt of another of his
brothers’ jokes.
Michelle and Ben, who
had just seated themselves, heard the laughter and smiled as the three brothers
started to head towards the table.
“It’s wonderful to
see Adam enjoying himself, Mr Cartwright. He’s been very quiet and upset since he had
the argument with you….over me. I wasn’t
expecting him to announce our intention of marriage tonight. ” Michelle gracefully
pivoted her head until her eyes met his.
Ben, enjoying the
laughter of his three sons himself, turned back to Michelle, only to find her
hazel eyes locked onto his own dark eyes.
Michelle noticed where Adam’s dark eyes were inherited from, only these
eyes she couldn’t read.
“I hope, by the end
of tonight, you’ll approve of me, Mr Cartwright, for
Adam’s sake, not mine.”
“That remains to be
seen, doesn’t it, Mrs Barnes.”
Michelle chose not to
reply immediately to the slight, because Adam, Hoss and Joe had reached the
table and were attempting to sit down without knocking the small table with
their long legs. Instead she changed her
intended reply.
“Please call me
Michelle, Mr Cartwright.”
“Very well, if you
insist, Michelle it is.” Was Ben’s cool reply.
The evening flowed
uneventfully. Ben and Adam polite with
each other, while Hoss and Joe entertained Michelle with various tales from
Adam’s past.
“You’ve carved
yourself quite a ranch out here in the wilderness, Mr
Cartwright. I’ve heard talk around town
that you are very wealthy and own the largest ranch in
Ben wondered quickly
at the nature of question before replying.
“I don’t like to discuss the financial matters of the ranch, but I am
rich in the sons who helped make the ranch the success it is today. A large credit must be given to Adam, who was
with me when I first started with only a small piece of land, a few head of
cattle and two young sons. Today he
controls most of the financial matters for me.
Without my son’s help, I would not have been able to make what we have
today. “
“Adam darling, you
didn’t say any of this to me before, why not?”
Adam carefully ran
his eyes over the people seated at the table, before he answered.
“I wanted you to love
me for who I am, not for what my name is.”
He reached over and took Michelle’s left hand in his and continued.
“As I said earlier, I’ve asked Michelle to be
my wife. We’ve set the date…May 18 and
I’d like you all to be at the wedding.”
“Hot diggity, Adam.”
“You’ll make a pretty
sister, Michelle. Won’t she Hoss?”
“That’s only three
weeks away, Adam. Why all the rush?”
Asked Ben.
Adam grinned as he
caught Michelle’s smile out of the corner of his eye. He’d warned her that his brothers would
welcome her into the family with open arms and they hadn’t let him down. “Why
not, Pa? I love her and she loves me, what else is there?”
Ben looked
imploringly at his eldest son. He wanted
time to find out more about the woman that Adam wanted to marry.
“What do you know
about her?” he asked of Adam, as though Michelle wasn’t seated at the table.
Before Adam could
answer, Michelle replied. “I have told
Adam every single thing there is to know about me. I have no secrets, not from him nor you Mr Cartwright; none what so ever.” Meeting Ben’s hard,
uncompromising stare.
Joe and Hoss watched
the struggle over Adam between their father and Michelle. In their heart, both brothers knew that their
father would have to loose. As much as
Adam loved his father and his life at the Ponderosa, Michelle’s love was more
fulfilling; it’s what he needed to make himself complete. They could see how
Michelle’s love had changed their brother for the better, why couldn’t their
father. Adam’s head was held high, but his eyes were dropped onto Michelle’s
soft hand held in his. He didn’t want to
force his father into accepting her, but accept her he was going to.
Ben knew he was
loosing the fight too. He should be
looking at the marriage as gaining a daughter, not loosing a son. But there was something holding him back from
joining his family’s happiness and yet he couldn’t describe it, even to
himself. When he’d seen Elizabeth, Inger and Marie in love with him, they gave everything to
him, nothing was held back. With
Michelle, there seemed to be a hesitancy, a mystery as though not all had been
revealed to Adam. He couldn’t see her
being happy at the Ponderosa. Although
he was reluctant to give his approval, Ben knew he had to, otherwise Adam would
be lost to him forever.
“Adam, son, your
happiness means everything to me. I
won’t stand in your way. You have my
blessing, both of you.”
“Thanks,
With a shy smile,
which Ben hadn’t seen on Adam’s face since a young child, Adam coughed
anxiously while he waited for his father’s reply.
“Yes, Adam?”
“Would you give
Michelle away at the wedding? With her
father being dead and all, she’d love for you to walk her down the aisle to
me.”
With only a slight
hesitation and a forced smile on his lips Ben agreed.
“Michelle, I’d be honored to take your arm in the church.”
Adam slowly let out
his breath; he hadn’t realized he’d been holding it. So had Hoss and Little Joe. All four men laughed together, enjoying their
old comfortable camaraderie again. Michelle
laughed lightly as she gazed over Adam’s shoulder and met the eyes of the man
two tables away. He returned the smile.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The next morning
Hoss, who had stayed in town that night instead of returning home with Ben and
Joe, went in search of his older brother.
Adam had asked him to ride back to the Ponderosa with him in the
morning.
After knocking on the
door to both Adam and Michelle’s rooms and not receiving an answer, he returned
to his room and locked the door. Pocketing
the key he headed down the hallway to the staircase. Clomping down the hotel stairs, Hoss could
see the desk clerk reading a paper at his counter.
“Howdy, George, do
you know where my brother Adam is? He
wasn’t in his room and I don’t think I saw him in the restaurant for breakfast
neither.”
“Adam had breakfast
delivered to his room this morning, Hoss.
On his way out this morning he said he was going to the livery to check
on his horse. Said something about one
of it’s legs wasn’t too good yesterday afternoon when he rode in.”
“Thanks, be seein ya.”
“Bye, Hoss.”
“I almost forgot
this.” Said Hoss as he fished his room key from the pocket and placed it on top
of the newspaper George had been reading.
“Thanks, so had
I. Just been reading about a murder over
in
“Don’t interest me
none, not one bit.” Replied Hoss as he pushed open the Hotel doors and stepped
out onto the porch.
As he strolled across
the main street, Hoss saw Adam’s Sport saddled and tied to the hitching rail
outside the livery. Stopping beside the
horse, he gave him an affectionate pat.
As he did a gentle run down its legs with his hands, he heard voices, a
male and female in the livery. He decided not to enter and interrupt them,
thinking Adam and Michelle wanted a private moment. Standing as close as he was to the doorway,
he couldn’t help overhearing their conversation.
“Oh, Darling, it’s so
good to see you. I’ve missed you
terribly.”
“Yeah, so you
should.” Replied the man as he laughed.
“How are the plans going with Cartwright?”
Hoss didn’t recognize
the man’s voice, it wasn’t Adam’s but the woman’s was certainly Michelle’s.
“Couldn’t be
better. The wedding date is set for May
18 and everything is going to plan, he doesn’t suspect a thing. We’ll still go ahead and do what we planned
before the wedding.”
“What about his
family? Any trouble likely from them?”
“His father may
suspect something, I’m not sure, but I think I finally won him over, at least
for the time being. I’ll have to be very
careful around him.”
“And the brothers?”
It was Michelle’s
turn to laugh. “I have them eating out
of the palm of my hand like two little birds, Stewart Darling.”
‘Stewart?’ Hoss
thought, ‘That’s her husband’s name.’
“Hello, Hoss, you
looking for me?” Startled, Hoss heard
Adam’s voice close behind him. He hadn’t
heard his footsteps because he was so engrossed in the conversation between Michelle
and her supposedly dead husband. Hoss
spun around, guilty at being caught eavesdropping.
“Adam….”
Just as he started to
think of something to say to Adam, Michelle came rushing out of the livery.
“Adam Darling, there
you are. Why hello, Hoss, I didn’t know you were waiting outside for
Adam.” Michelle slid her arm through the
crook of Adam’s arm. “I’ve been looking
everywhere for you, even in the livery.
Where were you?”
Adam leant over Michelle and kissed her forehead. Smiling as he thought how sweet it was that
Michelle wanted to see him; he’d only been gone a few minutes.
“I stopped by the
mercantile to order…er, something. Bert saddled Sport for me while I was there I
see.” He said, quickly changing the
subject of what he was ordering at the mercantile. Mr Hanson was going
to receive delivery of the piano in time for the wedding. He’d be able to give it to Michelle as the
wedding gift he planned. “Looks as
though his leg is fine to me. What do you think Hoss? By the way what did you
want me for?”
“Nothin’
that can’t wait, Adam.” Hoss gave
Michelle a quick glance as he walked past her and into the livery. He couldn’t see anyone inside, but then he
hadn’t expected to. Whoever had been in
there talking to Michelle would be long gone by now.
Leaning against his
horse for comfort, Hoss couldn’t believe what he’d overheard. Michelle’s husband was alive and in
‘Better get on home
to Pa and talk it over with him as to what we do.’ Thought Hoss as he threw the
tack on the horse and led him outside.
Adam and Michelle were still outside, arm in arm and talking softly.
“You ready to go back
home now?”
“Yeah.” Hoss glanced at Michelle to see her reaction.
“I’ll ride with
you. Like I said last night, I’ve got
something to discuss with you.”
Emotions flickered
across Michelle’s face as she listened to the conversation between the two
brothers.
“Okay, I’ve got no
objections.” Replied Hoss as they both mounted their horse.
Leaning down from the
saddle, Adam motioned for Michelle to come closer. When she did, he leant down further and
kissed her again on the forehead, not being able to reach her lips, even though
she was standing on her tiptoes.
“Bye Michelle, I’ll
be back this evening. Dinner in the
restaurant suit you?”
“Yes, Darling,
that’ll be fine. I’ll be waiting.” She
said as she waved him off.
“Michelle.” Hoss said coldly as he tipped his hat to her.
She waited until they
were out of hearing before she swore to herself under her breath.
“Damn. He knows; he overhead us.” Fear overcame Michelle and she hugged her
arms to her body. “What if he tells
Adam?” She took deep breaths to calm
herself as the two men turned the corner, ready to disappear out of sight.
A voice called out to
her from within the livery. “Pssst, Michelle get in here if they’ve gone.”
As Michelle walked
back into the livery, Hoss threw a glance over his shoulder and saw where she
was going. He shot Adam a look out of
the corner of his eye as he turned back towards the direction they were headed
but Adam was looking forward and hadn’t seen her.
“Stewart, where are
you? Hoss, Adam’s brother overhead us,
I’m sure.” She snarled into the shadows,
her eyes not accustomed to the darkness.
“Well we can’t have him
interfering with our plan can we. I’ll
just have to do something about it won’t I.” Said Barnes, as he stepped out
from his hiding place inside the tack room.
He’d only just managed to close the door before Hoss had walked into the
livery; very intent on finding whomever Michelle had been speaking to. The one advantage he’d had was the time it
took for Hoss’ eyes to become accustomed to the darkness, had hidden the last
movement of the door.
With a cold voice,
Michelle replied to her husband.
“Kill him. He’ll spoil everything we’ve planned. Make it look like an accident if you can but
kill him.”
As Hoss and Adam rode
in silence, Hoss’ thoughts were of how he could tell Adam what he’d heard. Adam jolted him out of his thoughts.
“Hoss, are you there? Hey Hoss?”
“Huh? What… Oh Yeah?”
“I said will you be
my bestman, at the wedding I mean?”
“Um, I’d like some
time to think about it.” Hoss said,
avoiding Adam’s eyes, which he knew, would be trained on him, waiting for his
answer.
Adam was hurt and surprised by Hoss’ answer.
He had been expecting him to immediately say yes.
“What do you mean
you’d like to think about it? What is
there to think about? I’d have thought you’d jump at the chance to see your
brother off. A simple Yes or No would
have been easy.”
“It’s not that I
don’t want to Adam, it’s just that I….”
With a hurt and angry tone to his voice Adam cut him off, mid sentence.
“First Pa and now
you. I don’t believe it. Never mind, I’ll ask Little Joe.”
“Adam….” Started
Hoss.
Clearly upset, Adam
kicked his horse into a gallop, leaving a distraught Hoss behind. He was feeling just as hurt as Adam; he
wanted to say Yes but couldn’t bring himself to say what he’d overheard. Tears welled in his eyes as his feelings
overtook him while watching Adam gallop into the distance. Hoss adored his older brother and would
willingly do anything for him and save him from anything. He knew Adam would do the same for him, but
after today Hoss wasn’t so sure. He had
to make Adam listen, understand that Michelle didn’t love him; that it was all
part of some plan which involved him.
By the time Hoss
arrived at the house, Adam had already dismounted and tied his hard-ridden
horse to the hitching rail. He could see
the horse’s sides heaving from the effort of the gallop. It was unlike Adam to treat his horse the way
he had. He’d never known him to gallop his horse, then leave it standing
without cooling him down gently first.
Hoss picked up the
reins and walked both horses around the yard while they cooled down. Once he was satisfied they were cooled, he
led them to the water trough for a well-earned drink.
Ben was sitting in
his favorite chair reading the newspaper when he heard the horse galloping into
the yard. Expecting to lecture Little
Joe on his riding behavior he was surprised when Adam stormed into the house,
the expression on his face indicating he was seething with anger. For a man who should have been happy, Adam
certainly wasn’t.
“What is it,
Adam? What’s wrong?” He asked, never the less pleased to see his
eldest son home, even in a bad mood.
“Ask Hoss.” Growled Adam to his father, between clenched
teeth, as he headed up the stairs to his room, slamming the door after he
entered.
Not one to wait, Ben
folded his paper and threw it on the seat after him. As he prepared to head up the stairs to
Adam’s room, he heard the sound of another horse, this one slower, and instead
headed for the door. Outside he saw Hoss
reach for Sport’s reins and begin to lead him around the yard.
“I need to talk to
you real urgent,
“I gather what you
want to discuss has something to do with Adam and the way he just rode in
here?”
“Yep.” Was all Hoss
said.
Ben kept his silence
while Hoss tended the horses then lead them towards the hitching rail. He knew Hoss would tell him soon enough as to
what happened, unlike his older brother. Hoss gave the horses a pat as he tied
them back to the hitching rail. They’d
drunk enough water to satisfy their thirst, any more and they’d be bloated.
Ben threw his arm over Hoss’ big broad
shoulders. “Now that you’ve taken care
of the horses, let’s go inside and have this talk son.”
Pulling up short
beside his father, Hoss threw a guilty glance at the house.
“No, Pa, Adam’s
inside isn’t he?” Ben nodded his reply
and thought he was right about who had upset Adam this time. For a man about to get married and be happy,
Adam wasn’t - if the last few days were any indication. All the more reason he had to get to the
bottom of the matter.
“How about over by
the barn, where we won’t be heard by him.”
“Wherever you want.”
Ben waited patiently
while Hoss paced in front of the barn.
With a sorrowful expression on his face, Hoss stopped and lent against
the top railing of the corral, resting his head on his folded arms. Ben reached
over and began to gently rub his son’s strong tense shoulders. “Tell me what’s
troubling you and Adam.”
He could see the
difficulty Hoss was having. It was as
though there was an intense struggle going on inside, tearing into him.
“It’s Michelle. It’s about her.”
“What about her?” Asked Ben, astounded
by his comment. He had been expecting to
hear Adam’s name, not Michelle’s.
“She’s still married,
“I thought that had
been explained last night and that we weren’t going to let that stop Adam
marrying her.”
“No!” snapped Hoss
back. “No, I mean I overheard her
talking to some fella in the livery this morning and
she called him Stewart.”
Ben staggered and
leant back against the corral for support. “What … what did you say?”
“I said she called
him Stewart. She said she’d missed him
and called him Darling. And she weren’t talkin’ to Adam at the time neither.” Hoss stopped, biting hard on his bottom lip
as he watched his father taking in what he’d just been told.
Ben rubbed his jaw
with his hand, dismay clearly expressed on his face. This was becoming worse than he originally
thought but looking at Hoss he knew there was more to the story to be
told. In a disciplined voice and nod of
his head Ben replied. “Go on…”
“They was sayin’ something else about, about the wedding and how
everything was goin’ to plan and that Adam didn’t
suspect a thing.”
Ben could see Hoss was
holding back with something else, not everything had yet been said. “Tell me Hoss, everything.”
“Michelle said that
they were going to do it before the wedding.”
“What?”
“I don’t know
“Did you see the man
talking to Michelle? What he looked
like?”
“No and I don’t think
Adam did neither. I know he didn’t hear
them talkin because on the ride home, he came right
out and asked me to be his bestman for the weddin’.” Tearfully,
Hoss looked at his father. “I turned him
down, I said I’d have to think about it.
I hurt him real bad Pa and I swear I didn’t mean to.”
“So that’s why he’s
upset and angry with you.” Mused Ben, as he hugged Hoss close to him.
“That’s the least of
our problems Hoss. We’ve got to find out
what they meant and intend doing and we’ve got less than 3 weeks to work with.”
“We’d better tell
Little Joe…”
“No Hoss, it’s better Joseph doesn’t know; he can’t keep a secret from Adam,
even if he tried real hard.”
CHAPTER NINE
Over the next few
weeks, Ben sent wires to friends in
Meanwhile Hoss was
having no luck finding about the man he’d heard in
Stewart Barnes, on
the other hand, had no trouble keeping watch on Hoss. He and Michelle had decided on a plan to shoot
Hoss on the way home to the Ponderosa.
They would also rob him, tricking the Sheriff and his family into
believing it was a robbery, gone horribly wrong.
While working out at
the ranch, Adam avoided Hoss, as much as possible. Whenever he could, Ben had Adam work with
Little Joe, thereby avoiding any further confrontation between the older
sons. Little Joe had jumped at the
chance to be his bestman, as Adam thought he would.
Although Joe had wondered why it wasn’t Hoss, seeing as how they were closer then
he and Adam. He noticed the coldness
between Hoss and Adam, and as no one would tell him why, he could only assume
it was wedding nerves on Adam’s part.
That evening after
supper, Hoss and Ben sat talking in front of the fire, the dry wood burning
cleanly in the fireplace. It was late,
Little Joe had gone to bed and Adam remained in town, with Michelle. He hadn’t slept at home since the argument
with his father, two and a half weeks ago.
He rarely stepped into the house and only for lunch, which was usually
eaten quickly in strained silence.
“Pa, I’m gonna have ta tell Adam. You haven’t got any replies to your wires and
the wedding is this Saturday. We can’t
let him marry her.”
Ben thought intensely
before answering.
“Yes, I tend to
agree. We’ve got to stop him, before
they do whatever it is they intend to do.
It’s been hard keeping a close watch on him without either of them
getting suspicious.”
“I’ll go into town
tomorrow and tell him
“Do you want me to come with you Son? I have
some business to attend to in the Bank anyway.”
“No, but thanks
“Alright Hoss.”
Ben stood up from his seat on the table and stretched, turning towards the
grandfather clock beside the front door as he did. Realizing the lateness of the hour, he
decided to retire for the night.
“I didn’t notice how
late it was. I’m going to bed. You coming Hoss?”
“No, I think I’ll
stay here a might longer. ‘Night
“Goodnight Hoss.”
Hoss sat thinking of
how to tell Adam what he’d overheard. He
couldn’t see any way out of hurting him.
For Adam’s sake, he had to try though, for all he knew they might be
planning to kill him. Banking the fire,
he blew out the lamps in the great room, slowly climbed the stairs and headed
towards his room. Sleep came reluctantly
to him that night.
The next morning,
Little Joe wanted to join them in the ride to town, but Ben insisted Joe
complete the chores for Hoss and his absent brother. Much to Joe’s annoyance, this morning also
included the stables, from top to bottom.
“But Pa, I haven’t
been into town for a week. Can’t I do
the chores when I come home? I won’t be
long, honest. ” Protested Joe, in the way only he could. He wanted to see Anne at the saloon. Although she was older than the girls he
usually wanted to see and closer to Adam’s age, he thought she was different
and intriguing.
Already under stress
with Adam, and now Hoss, Ben was visibly angry with his youngest son.
With a raised voice
and in no uncertain terms Ben sternly replied to his youngest son’s protest.
“That’s enough
Joseph. I’ve had enough of the disobedience and grumbles from my sons. You have plenty of chores to complete
today. When and only when they are
finished can you ride into town. I’ll be
back as soon as I’ve been to the Bank.
If you’re not here when I arrive home, there will be hell to pay. Do you understand me Joseph?”
Meekly Joe
replied. “Sure
Hoss gave his little
brother a faint smile before he and Ben rode off towards
Every morning, since
the conversation in the livery, Stewart Barnes had been waiting, in hiding, for
Hoss to ride into town alone. He and
Michelle were getting desperate, because they knew, sooner or later, Hoss would
tell Adam everything he’d heard. The one
thing they had in their favor was that Hoss hadn’t seen Barnes’ face.
Once again that
morning Barnes cursed as he saw Hoss and his father riding together. This time he took the chance and decided to
follow them, at a discrete distance into town.
With the wedding due on Saturday, it had left them two days in which to
kill Adam’s brother.
Neither Ben nor Hoss
noticed the presence of the rider at their back for they were both engrossed in
their own thoughts regarding the person known to them as Adam Cartwright.
Dismounting and hitching their horses together
in front of the Bank, both men stood shoulder to shoulder, watching the passing
people on the street.
“I’ll go see Adam.” Hoss said, as he stared at the Hotel entrance, “He should
be at the Hotel. After I’ve spoken to
him, I’ll head back home to help Little Joe with the chores. It ain’t fair that
he should be doin’ them all alone. We’ve been splittin’
Adam’s between us, most days.”
Ben reached over and
patted Hoss on the back. Hoss had been
quiet and off his food for days, while he thought of how to tell Adam the
news. Even Joe and Hop Sing had noticed the
change in him, especially at the dining table. In the past, Hoss would attack
the plates as soon as Hop Sing had placed them on the table. Lately he would sit back and look at the food
on his plate, barely eating a few mouthfuls.
Every time they sat
down to eat, the empty chair opposite Ben, reminded them of the missing brother
and son.
“Thanks son and good luck.”
“Yeah, I think I may
need all the luck I have when I meet him
Giving Chubb a
parting pat on the neck, Hoss crossed the busy street and climbed the few steps
into the Hotel. On the landing he
stopped, took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves and pushed the door
open. He instantly saw his brother in
the foyer, dressed in his good clothes.
His cream shirt,
ribbon tie, gray coat and pants complimented his polished to perfection, black
boots. Hoss felt a pang of jealousy at
how handsome his brother looked. Somehow
Hoss felt he’d been behind the door when they were giving out the looks to the
Cartwright boys, not that it bothered none.
Adam was sitting in
the room, one leg resting on the thigh of the other, reading a newspaper and
didn’t notice Hoss walk up to him until he heard the voice.
“Hi Adam, watcha doin’?” Started Hoss pleasantly, besides it was only
his news that was causing him to be unhappy, not Adam.
Adam looked up at
Hoss, folded the paper on its creases before standing up to greet him.
“What are you doing
here?”
“I’d like to talk to
you Adam. Will you let me?”
“Okay.” Shrugged
Adam, it was too late for Hoss to be his bestman.
“Umm, in private
please.”
“Hoss, I’m waiting
for Michelle, can’t it wait?” he said, glancing towards the staircase. As usual, Michelle was taking longer to
prepare than she said it would. But then
he knew she was worth the extra wait.
“No.’ insisted
Hoss. “It’s important and needs to be
discussed in private.”
“Alright Hoss, we’ll
go to my room. That’s if it’s alright
with you.” he added with an edge of sarcasm.
“Your room is fine
with me.” Agreed Hoss, as he followed Adam up the stairs.
Barnes, who had
followed Hoss into the Hotel, heard the short conversation and watched them
climb the stairs.
“Damn. I’m too late. He’s going to tell Adam.”
“Did you say
something Sir?” asked the desk clerk as he picked up the newspaper off the chair,
straightening the cushions as he did.
While he was staring
up the staircase, Michelle walked down, somehow she’d just missed Adam and Hoss
in the hallway. She looked around
carefully, before speaking to him in a low whisper.
“What are you doing
here? I’m expecting Adam any minute
now. Why aren’t you waiting to get
Hoss?”
Stewart glared at his
wife, before answering, irritated at her insinuation of stupidity.
“Hoss and Adam just
went upstairs to his room and I’m sure he’s going to tell him now. Didn’t you hear them in the hallway?”
“Let him.” Michelle
said lightly as she smiled knowingly at her husband.
“What?” Stewart
looked at his wife dubiously.
“I said let him. I have Adam under my control. He’s so much in love with me, he won’t
believe Hoss, not one bit.”
“I hope you’re right
Michelle.”
“Make sure you kill
Hoss today and go ahead with the robbery.
We’ve come this far and I’m not wasting all my plans because of one
interfering brother.”
“What, even after
they talk? Besides he came into town
with his father.”
“Never mind Ben
Cartwright, kill them both, if you have to.”
Michelle gave her husband a chilling smile. “One or two deaths, it won’t make any
difference to Adam, because he won’t have time to grieve for them, now will
he? You’d better go now. I’ll wait here for my dear, future husband. I
know he won’t be long talking to Hoss.”
Barnes shook his head
at her and left to wait on the trail for Hoss, as Michelle instructed. Her plans had all worked in the past; he
didn’t doubt for one moment that this one wouldn’t succeed either.
Once in Adam’s room
and the door closed, Hoss put his hands on Adam’s shoulders. He felt them stiffen as he shrugged them off.
“You’re still angry -
annoyed with me aren’t you?” said Hoss softly, as Adam turned away from him.
“That’s an
understatement. Well, what’s so
important that it couldn’t wait? No, let
me guess, it’s something to do with Michelle isn’t it? Did Pa send you?”
“Hang on a danged
minute Adam, just let me explain.”
Crossing his arms in front
of him, Adam shrugged his shoulders in agreement. As Hoss spoke, Adam felt his blood begin to
boil, hotter and hotter as he continued.
“Alright, that’s
enough.” Shouted Adam. “I don’t want to
hear anymore. I don’t believe you.”
Desperately Hoss said. “Look Adam, just put the wedding back a few
months…six at the least. Just to see
what happens; what Michelle does.”
“No, I won’t. I love her and I’m gonna marry her this weekend, no matter what you or Pa
says. Now get out.” He shouted.
“Adam…” Hoss didn’t
finish as Adam’s fist connected with his jaw, knocking him backward against the
wall.
“Listen Adam…”
Determined to continue as he rubbed his jaw.
“No, you listen…get
out now….before I really get angry and do something we’ll both regret.” Adam grabbed the doorknob and yanked the door
open.
“Leave ..Now…and
don’t come on Saturday, I don’t want to see your face anywhere near the
church. You hear me? Nowhere.” And he slammed the door after Hoss.
Hoss’ heart was
tearing apart for his brother, as he leant back against the hallway wall.
“I tried Pa, God I
tried.” He said to himself as he felt a tear form in his eyes.
He wasn’t sure whom
he was crying for…Himself because he failed to convince Adam or for Adam
because of what lay ahead for him.
The only thing Hoss
was sure about was that the woman Adam intended to marry in three days didn’t
love him the way his brother loved her.
He walked down the
hallway and stairs, unaware of anyone near him or watching him; the tears still
in his eyes, blurring his vision.
Smiling to herself,
Michelle watched him go outside. Now all
she needed was for
Stewart to finish
Hoss off and they’d be right. She knew
Adam wouldn’t believe Hoss, because the fool was hopelessly in love with her,
she’d seen to that.
Upstairs in his room,
Adam kicked the chair over, sending it crashing against the closed door. How could Hoss, of all people, say those
disgusting things about Michelle? He loved
her and she loved him, it was that simple.
Their wedding was in two days and once they were married his family
would all have to change and accept her or he would leave. He would do anything she asked to keep her
happy, because when she was happy, so was he.
Adam threw himself on the bed, tucked his hands behind his head and
stared at the ceiling in frustration.
Michelle opened the
door quietly and walked into the room, closing the door behind her.
Acting as though she
was unaware of what had transpired, she put on a gay voice.
“Adam, did I just see
Hoss in the hotel? Was he looking for
you?”
“Yeah.” Said Adam,
reluctant to say anything else, until he was in control of his emotions.
“What did he want
Darling?”
“Oh nothing
important. Don’t worry about it.” he
smiled at her. “Come over here.”
“Adam, it’s early and
we have plenty of things to do.” She said playfully running her hands through
his dark hair as she recognized the desire in his eyes that she knew she’d
caused.
“I don’t care, that
can wait. I want you…now.”
Michelle smiled, but
in triumph, for there was only one outstanding problem and that was going to be
taken care of in the next half-hour by her husband. This latest plan of hers
was going to succeed, as had all the previous.
All the meticulous planning had succeeded, especially now that Adam
wouldn’t believe any words said against her.
CHAPTER TEN
Hoss was deep in
miserable thought as he rode back to the ranch.
Adam was going to marry a woman who didn’t love him. Hoss saw how much Adam adored her and he was going
to be terribly hurt when the truth finally came out. But what was it that they intended inflicting
on him? He wanted to know desperately,
so he could stop it.
Hoss felt the bullet
before he heard the shot as it knocked him out of the saddle and onto the dry
dusty ground. He lay face down on the
road, pain lancing across from his shoulder and into his head. Through the fuzziness he could hear a horse
riding up close and a man’s voice calling it to halt.
Pretending to be
unconscious, which for the moment wasn’t nearly that hard to do, Hoss waited to
see what would happen next. The rider
stepped down from the horse and up to him; the sound of the gun uncocking and sliding back into the holster carried to
him. Strong hands grabbed him by the
shirt; rolled him over onto his back and started to feel through his pockets.
Thankful that he’d
been shot in the left shoulder, Hoss drew his gun and opened his eyes in one
uncomfortable motion, aiming the gun at an unknown, but vaguely familiar
face. Instant recognition hit him, as he
knew he’d seen the face around town and in the hotel even.
“I shot you good, you should be dead.” Cried a shocked Stewart Barnes as he
shook his head at Hoss. “It’s not
possible.”
The voice. It was the
voice from the livery, the one that had been talking to Michelle.
“Barnes.” Snarled
Hoss, hatred in his voice. Struggling to
his feet, while keeping the gun trained on Barnes, Hoss stood up swaying, a
little unsteady.
“I want some
questions answered right now from you.”
“I don’t know what
you mean.” Barnes said feigning innocence.
“Yes you do. What have you got planned for my brother is
one of them.”
“So you did hear, but
obviously not everything.” Smirked Barnes.
“Dadburnit,
tell me.” Hoss’ rarely seen temper,
getting the better of him as he shoved the gun hard into Barnes’ nose.
Barnes looked at Hoss
smugly over the gun barrel and shrugged his shoulders, refusing to answer.
“I’m gonna take you back to town, maybe Sheriff Coffee can get
you to talk. He might even turn a blind
eye and let me ask you the questions.”
“Suit yourself, but
it won’t make any difference. I’m not sayin’ a word.” Although Hoss’ last comment had shaken him
up.
Hoss awkwardly
mounted his horse, all the while keeping his gun on Barnes, the shoulder hurting
like hell itself. They had only ridden
for 5 minutes before Hoss recognized his father coming towards him. Ben immediately took in the situation and
Hoss’ wound.
“You shot bad son?”
“No but thanks, I’ll
live
“I’m coming with
you. Let’s get this matter settled once
and for all. Hoss, put something on that
wound, you’re still bleeding.” Ben drew his gun and moved Buck closer to
Barnes, the deadly gun trained on his stomach.
As all three rode in
silence to the jail Hoss holstered his gun feeling grateful he’d met his
father. Ben concentrated partly on
Barnes, should he make a desperate move to escape, partly on Hoss, in case he
fell out of the saddle unconscious before they arrived back in town and the
remainder on Adam. Was it possible with
Barnes now their prisoner, he would come to his senses and believe Hoss’ story?
Barnes was worried
about the Sheriff and Hoss’ intentions of getting him to talk, with the
Sheriff’s permission. He had no doubt
what Hoss meant and wasn’t looking forward to those large hands anywhere near him,
even if he did have a bullet in his shoulder.
Hoss was fighting to
stay conscious in the saddle. The pace
he’d set was enough for each jolt of his horse’s hoofs to jar his shoulder, but
he knew the sooner they arrived at the jail, the sooner the pain would
ease. The bleeding had stopped once he’d
shoved his bandanna under the shirt, against the wound. Now that they had Barnes as prisoner, he
hoped Adam would listen to him.
Even if Barnes only
told Adam who he was, it should be enough to stop him from going ahead with the
marriage.
Sheriff Coffee was
just coming out the front door of the jail, hat in his hand, when the three men
rode up.
“What’s all this
Ben? I was just fixin’
to come out and see you.”
“Hoss just got
ambushed by this man, Stewart Barnes, then he tried to rob him while he was
lying on the ground shot.”
“Stewart Barnes, you
don’t say.” Said
“Yes, he’s the
husband of Michelle Sinclair or should I say Barnes. The woman Adam is due to marry on Saturday.”
“Well, well. I’ve got some news about these two Barnes’
Ben. I got some wires back just now and
I was about to go fetch you. Looks like
you saved me a ride to the Ponderosa.”
Excited Ben
said. “You have? What do they say?”
“They concern this
jasper and his wife, of course.”
Barnes jerked upright
in the saddle, a frightened look passing on his face until he could recover
enough to put the blank look back, but not fast enough for
“Let’s get him locked
up and we’ll talk inside.”
As they dismounted
Ben turned to Hoss. “Go get that
shoulder tended to son, while I talk to
“No, can’t do that
Ben studied Hoss’
stubborn face and he knew what knowing the answer meant to Hoss. He’d ignore his own wound to help his older
brother in his time of need.
“Alright son, come on
in with me, while I talk to
While
“Sit down Hoss,
please. I can’t see what’s going on with
the bleeding if you keep on pacing like you are.”
Hoss looked at his father’s concerned face and gratefully sat down in the
nearest chair.
“I’ll be alright
“All in good time
son. I’ll just put some more bandages on
this.”
Ben reached around to
the table, where
“You’re not gonna like this wire Ben.
It’s not good news for Adam.”
“Just read it will
you
“This wire comes from
REPLY STEWART BARNES
AND MICHELLE BARNES ALSO KNOWN AS SINCLAIR STOP SUSPECTED OF EXTORTION/MURDER
STOP WOMAN MARRIES WEALTHY VICTIM STOP EXTORT MONEY FROM HIS FAMILY WHEN BARNES
ARRIVES CLAIMING TO BE HUSBAND STOP IF VICTIM REFUSES HE IS MURDERED STOP SHE
CLAIMS ESTATE STOP ALSO KNOWN TO KIDNAP MICHELLE BARNES AND HOLD FOR RANSOM
STOP WHEN MONIES PAID WOMANS BODY NEVER RECOVERED STOP THEY ABSCOND WITH MONEY
STOP UNABLE TO PROSECUTE IN EITHER CIRCUMSTANCE DUE TO LACK OF EVIDENCE STOP
BOTH CONSIDERED EXTREMELY DANGEROUS STOP WOMAN CONSIDERED MASTERMIND STOP
“This is the woman
Adam was going to marry this Saturday isn’t it Ben?”
Ben nodded. “Do they give a description of either?”
“Yes, as a matter of
fact it did.”
“Let me see it
“Is it them Pa?
“Yes Hoss, I’m afraid
so.” Ben said sadly, as he watched the paper ball fall onto the wooden floor
and bounce away from him.
“Adam…we’ve got to
tell him. He’ll understand now, he’s got
to.” Cried Hoss for his brother. They
had the truth and proof, in writing, to convince him about Michelle.
With an unsteady
hand, Ben reached down and picked the paper off the floor, uncrumpling
it in his hands.
“I’ll do it this time
Hoss. You go to Doc Martin’s and tend to
that shoulder. I know you want to be
with me Hoss, but do as I say. It’s
going to be difficult for Adam finding out about Michelle, let alone know you
were shot by them as well.”
Hoss nodded in agreement
to Ben as he fought his sorrow for his brother.
Picking himself slowly off the chair he turned and left the office.
Ben watched Hoss
slowly walk up the street to the Doctors.
Hoss’ head hung low as he shuffled his way along the boardwalk. Inside
the jailhouse, Roy Coffee sat behind his desk, his chin resting on his steepled fingers, patiently waiting while his friend came
to an understanding with the news which would devastate his eldest son’s plans
for the future. No father would want to overwhelm his son two days before his
wedding day with the news that his intended was a ruthless murderess and
extortionist.
“
With a sad smile to
his friend,
He’ d known Adam from
a small boy, when Ben, Hoss and he’d arrived in the area. Adam, the oldest boy was quiet and intense
for a young child. The dark brown eyes
held an intelligence and sadness for such a young age that
Closing the jailhouse
door behind him,
“Is my son Adam in
his room?” he asked of the clerk, who’s name escaped him for the moment.
“Yes Sir Mr Cartwright. He
and Miss Sinclair are still upstairs in room 6.” Replied the clerk quickly to
Ben.
Roy and Ben gave each
other a pensive glance.
“This is going to be
difficult
“Yes Ben, but it has to be done and there’s no gettin
around it. He’ll understand, maybe not
right away, but he will. He knows you
always have what’s best for him in mind. “
“I hope so, but I
have my doubts at the moment.”
The men turned away
from the desk, their resolve standing strong as they neared the room and Ben
knocked on the door.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me Adam. I’d like to come in please.”
“What do you want
now? Haven’t you done enough, by
turning Hoss against me as well?” he replied in anger, through the closed door.
“I need to talk to
you Adam, it’s about Hoss.” Ben looked
at
“Just a minute.”
Agreed Adam, although very reluctantly.
There were sounds of
movement inside the room until Adam opened the door, wearing only his jeans,
hair messed and a sheepish look on his face.
Ben didn’t need to ask what he’d been doing.
“Yeah
“May we come in? I’d rather talk inside, instead of out here
in the hallway son.”
Adam threw a quick look
over his shoulder at Michelle and the bed.
She’d managed to put on her robe, while Adam had answered the door, but
the bed was still unmade. He held the
door open for the two men, while they walked in.
“Hello Michelle.”
Said Ben curtly - his contempt for her no longer concealed on his face.
“Mr
Cartwright.”
“Michelle, let me
introduce you to Sheriff Coffee.” Said Adam, his eyes still on his father.
Michelle’s face
turned white as she gasped at the name.
Ben smiled to himself
at her reaction, allowing himself a small sense of satisfaction.
.
“You know why he’s
here don’t you?” said Ben as he continued to watch her face.
Adam stood puzzled in
the doorway, hand still clutching the doorknob, not understanding the short
conversation as he looked from his father to Michelle and across to Roy.
“What’s going
on? What’s
Ben stepped closer
and held out his hand, the crumpled paper white against his hand.
“I’d like you to read
this Adam.”
“Why? What is
it? Some new thing you’ve planned
between Roy and yourself to come between Michelle and I?”
“It’s a wire from the
Sheriff in
Reaching for the
wire, Adam quickly read it, puzzlement showing on his face as the details sank
in. He spun around to face Michelle.
“Michelle…is this
true? You extort and murder with your
husband who’s not dead?”
Michelle smirked at
Adam. “Yes it’s all true. I admit it but you have no evidence.”
“Oh but that’s where
you’re wrong Miss.” Remarked
Adam couldn’t believe
what he’d just heard. No it couldn’t be
true. He grabbed Michelle tightly by the
shoulders and lifted her to face him, her toes barely touching the ground.
“Why did you do this
to me? You’ve lied and deceived me. Didn’t you love me?” Ben and Roy winced at
the anguish in Adam’s voice.
Michelle laughed in his face. The poor
fools never understood it was all a game and she was always the winner, even as
she held the gun to their head and pulled the trigger.
“You stupid fool, I
never loved you. I slept with you only
to make sure you were committed to me and would let nothing stand in your way
to marry me. You were just a pawn in my
game. I planned everything for Stewart
and the money. “
“I love him Adam, not
you. You’ve enough money in your family,
not to miss some. If you or your family
weren’t going to pay the ransom, well I’d just go ahead and kill you. You see I
never leave witnesses and dead men don’t talk.” She said, laughing cruelly in his face.
With tears
threatening and disgust for her sour in his mouth, Adam threw Michelle forcibly
away from him and onto the bed. She
flung out her hands to prevent herself from falling to the floor, but her
contemptuous smile for Adam never left her face.
“Get out…all of
you. Just get the hell out.”
“Adam…” began Ben.
“No Pa, don’t say
another word…. just leave me alone.”
Sheriff Coffee took
Michelle’s arm as he helped her off the bed and towards the door.
“I’ll see you back at
the jail Ben?”
Absently Ben replied.
“Yeah….right.” His attention firmly on
his overwrought son.
“Adam…” Ben tried
again to reach him as
Adam slowly turned
around to face his father. His hands
quickly brushed across his face to remove the tears before his father saw them;
he wasn’t fast enough.
“I suppose you’re
happy about this? You should be.”
Ben flinched at the
anger in his son as he shook his head.
“No Adam, I’m
not. I never wanted this to happen, not
like this.”
“Sure Pa, you never
wanted us to marry; for me to be happy.” Adam’s despair tore into Ben.
“Adam, you couldn’t
be further from the truth and you know it.”
His son was hurting; striking out at the only person in the room. Ben wanted to go up to him and hold him, but
he stayed where he was. Adam wasn’t
ready for his touch - not yet anyway.
“All you want is the
ranch, the mighty Ponderosa, as long as we’re all there to help you, you’re
happy. Well I’m not. I need a life of my own. Everything is turning out wrong…everything.”
Adam yelled as he punched the wall with his fist. Crying in pain, he clutched the hand to his
chest, tears in his eyes. Glaring at his
father he yelled.
“Get out….get out
now.”
Ben could see he
wasn’t going to get through to him, not while he was out of control of his
emotions. He turned from his son, opened
the door to leave then stopped. With his
eyes kept forward towards the hallway, Ben spoke loudly enough for Adam to hear
him.
“When you’re ready
we’ll talk son. I’m sorry.” Then he shut
the door quietly behind him.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
When Joe arrived in
town the following week he found Anne sitting on Adam’s lap, her arms wrapped
tightly around his neck. At
Seeing her with his
older brother, instead of him sent an instant rage flooding to his head. With his green eyes flashing dangerously, Joe
barged through the remainder of the crowd to Adam’s table. Adam had his head in the hair behind Anne’s
ear and didn’t see him arrive at the table and stand in the exact same manner
as their father in front of him, clenched hands resting on his hips.
On the table were one
empty whisky bottle; another half full and two glasses. Joe reached over and
holding onto both her arms, dragged Anne from Adam.
“What are you doing
with him Anne? You should be waiting for
me, not entertaining him.”
Anne knew Joe was
coming into town to see her tonight, as he had every Friday night since she’d
arrive in
Unsteadily Adam began
to push himself from the chair, using the arms to help him stand. Judging quickly, how angry Joe was and how
drunk Adam was, Anne pushed Adam back into the chair, it didn’t take much
effort on her part.
Then she quickly spun
around to face Joe.
“I’m sorry Joe, I
didn’t mean for this to happen; it just did.
I know you wanted to see me tonight, but I can’t leave him like this,
not now.”
“How long have you
been seeing him Anne? How long?” Joe shouted at her, oblivious, to the fact
that most of the crowd was watching the scene with amusement. It wasn’t often the Cartwright brothers had
words in public, they would usually leave before anything took place.
Anne was reluctant to
answer him. His anger shook her, and she
knew her reply would infuriate him more, if that was possible.
“Does it matter Joe,
just that I have?”
“No, tell me here and
right now.”
“Joe,” slurred Adam,
“Leave her alone, she’s with me.”
“Stay out of this
Adam. I don’t want to hear you
again. I’m talking to Anne, not you.”
“NO.” Adam replied, throwing
himself out of the chair and to his feet, swaying unsteadily. “I don’t want to.”
As he overbalanced
and staggered forward, Adam made a half-hearted attempt to swing his fist
around Anne and at Joe. Joe sidestepped
with ease, and landed a fist on Adam’s jaw, connecting cleanly on his
chin. Adam fell backwards over his chair
with a loud crash as table, chair and glass scattered. The remainder of the saloon fell silent,
intently watching the scene between the two Cartwright brothers played out in
front of them.
“Oh Joe, you didn’t
have to hit him.” cried Anne as she pushed the chair off Adam and knelt beside
his unconscious body. She grabbed hold
of his arm and rolled him over before feeling his chest to make sure he was still
breathing.
“He deserved that.”
“Maybe Joe, but not from his brother.
Help me get him off the wet floor and up to my room.”
“Your room?” Shouted
Joe. “He’s been staying with you in your
room? What the hell for? He’s got his own across the street.”
Anne stood up, and at
her full height, her eyes were level with Joe’s, her green eyes matching the
color and anger in Joe’s green eyes.
“Yes, I said my room. That’s where he’s been sleeping the whisky
off all week, when he sleeps that is.” She added with a sad laugh. “He’s been so angry and drunk that he hasn’t
slept more than a few hours each day since he found out about…her.”
“Why you? Why your room?”
“I care about him
Joe, not the same way I care about you.
I’ve cared about him for longer than I realized. I even thought I was over him; had been able
to forget him, but riding in the stagecoach from
“Come on Joe,” she smiled shyly at Joe.
“Please help me, he’s too heavy for me to lift alone. Usually he’ll walk up the stairs for me, if
he’s not too drunk, but you’ve knocked him out cold.”
Knowing he couldn’t
resist her request, Joe shrugged, grabbed both of Adam’s arms and swung him up
and over his shoulder. After only a
week, Joe could tell Adam had lost weight and was no doubt drinking more than
he was eating. With Anne leading the
way, he carried Adam over his shoulder like a sack of corn, up the stairs and
into her room. Once inside Joe shrugged
Adam off his shoulder, onto the unmade bed and turned towards her. Still unconscious, Adam’s arms fell outwards
across the bed, legs hanging over the side.
“You didn’t answer me
Anne, how long?”
Looking gently into
Adam’s face, she turned back to Joe.
“All week.”
“Every day
since….since…?”
“Yes, Saturday, when
he came into the saloon. He was drunk
that night and I took him up to my room to sleep it off.” Anne stood over Adam; reached out and
smoothed the hair back off his pale, haggard face.
“He didn’t sleep much
that night, nor any day or night since.
He’d just wake up, go back downstairs and start all over again into the
whisky, not even bothering to eat.” Her
hand stayed on his cheek, feeling the warmth through her palm and the roughness
of his stubble.
“Has he been with you
Anne? I know I don’t have the right to
ask you, but I want to know.”
Anne dropped her hand and turned her head around to face Joe. She knew Joe cared deeply for her but she
didn’t know whether the truth would harm or heal his feelings towards his
brother.
“I haven’t asked for
a dollar from him and he hasn’t offered me a dollar. You can decide for yourself what I mean. Adam is the only man I’ve ever taken to my
room.”
She couldn’t bring
herself to tell him that for the last three mornings Adam had woken her up and
taken her roughly and angrily. She
neither complained nor cried out when he was too rough and hurt her. When he’d
finished he’d rolled off her, avoided her eyes, dressed and gone back to the
whisky bottle in the saloon.
The guilt of how he’d
treated her showed clearly on his face as he left the room and gone downstairs
to drink more hurtful memories away.
This morning, once
Adam had closed the door behind himself, Anne hugged the pillow he’d slept on
closely to her body and sobbed into it. He’d
avoided looking at her again this morning, but not before she’d seen the
haunting desolation in his eyes. She
wasn’t sure who was feeling ashamed the most; her for taking him to her bed in
the first place, for being what she was or him for relieving his basic needs in
her without asking her first. She knew
from past experience before Michelle, that he wasn’t like some of the others
and forced his unwanted attentions on her.
He had always been a considerate lover, the few times he called to see
her in the months before he fell in love with Michelle.
Now, every evening or
whenever Adam was too drunk to go to his hotel room, she took him upstairs to
her room, knowing only that she had to be there, close for comfort for him,
whichever way he chose.
She understood his
inconsolable desolation, for that was how she’d felt when he’d left
Although he’d shown
her no respect the past mornings, while he used her body, she still believed in
him; knew he was still the same man she’d fallen in love with 3 years ago back
in
“I think you should
go now. I’m sorry for you, for us, but
it can’t be. I don’t love you the way I
love Adam.”
“Anne, I love
you. Adam doesn’t love you, he’s just
using you.” cried Joe and he grabbed her in his strong arms and kissed her with
all his passion. Joe let her go as
quickly as he had grabbed her and with one final look at her, then Adam,
slammed the door behind him.
“What …what
happened?” Slurred Adam from the bed as
he strained to push himself off the bed.
He collapsed back, drunk and feeling the effects of Joe’s punch to his
jaw.
“It’s alright Adam,
I’m here.”
“Michelle….” Anne
cringed. How many times had he said her
name when he was drunk? Never hers, only
Michelle’s. Anne wondered if Michelle
was aware of how completely and savagely she’d destroyed Adam’s being. Deep within her heart, Anne hoped Michelle
would never find out, for that knowledge would give a woman like her immense
satisfaction to know she’d brought a proud and honorable man such as Adam
Cartwright to his knees.
Reduced him to
something he’d always loathed in those men not strong enough to resist the urge
to consider a woman as only an object for their sexual pleasure and to be
treated as such.
“No Adam, it’s
Anne. Let me help you out of those wet
clothes before you catch a cold and make all the bedding wet too.”
Adam lay back on the
bed watching Anne unbuckle his pants belt; too drunk to lift a finger to help
himself. She wondered if Joe noticed
that Adam wasn’t wearing his gun in the saloon.
He was the only one unarmed, aside from a few miners; not that it would
have made any difference considering how drunk he was every day.
She could feel his
eyes on her, watching her every movement as she unbuttoned his pants and then
the black shirt. Pulling him up by his
arms into a sitting position, she removed his shirt and threw it onto the pile of
washing she had in the far corner of her room.
Letting him fall back
onto the bed, she tugged his boots off by straddling his leg with hers and
pulling. The jeans followed the shirt
into the corner, and she stood back admiring the man lying on her bed, as she’d
done every time she’d undressed him in her room.
Glassy dark eyes
watched her, watching him. She shook
her head at him and smiled as she rolled him to one side of the bed and pushed
the covers down. With very little help from
him, she rolled him back between the sheets, covered him up, gave him a soft
kiss on the forehead and left him alone in the room.
Adam sat alone in the saloon as self-loathing and disgust consumed him. He’d used her again that morning and now, as
he sat drinking the whisky, his numb brain couldn’t even remember her
name. Once again the golden liquid
beckoned and swirled in the glass in his hand and in the bottle on the
table. Why should he be treating her…
Anne he remembered, with the same disregard as Michelle had done him? She’d done nothing to hurt him; in fact she’d
saved his life - it was Michelle he despised not Anne. Now he despised himself
even more than he could Michelle.
He threw the glass
back in a quick swallow, no longer feeling the fire in his throat from the
alcohol. Maybe the whisky, if he drank
enough, would drown these new memories too, of how he was mistreating a
woman.
She was a saloon
girl, he admitted to himself and they’d known each other a few years, but that
didn’t give him the right to ignore her feelings when it came to what she did
for a living. Never before in his life,
had he slept with a woman without first asking for her consent.
Even with his
liaisons with other saloon girls in the past, he’d always kept to his morals
and cared about their feelings as well as his own. What had Michelle done to him? What had he allowed her to do to him? Had she stripped him of every moral he ever
held close to? Or was he just being a
bastard towards women in general?
Feelings, always
feelings, who cared about his feelings when it came down to it?
Michelle hadn’t
cared, just used him for money and he’d fallen for her. He’d given his heart and soul to a woman who
didn’t return his love; never loved him.
A movement of gold
and black material at the bottom of the stairs caught his eye and he became
aware of Anne watching him. Shamed by
his actions, Adam dropped his head as he poured himself a full glass of whisky. He couldn’t face her sober, not after what
he’d done. Raising the glass to his
lips, Adam downed the drink in one swallow.
Anne swerved between
the tables and sat beside Adam at his table.
She placed her hand around the neck of the bottle and dragged it towards
her.
“Don’t you think
you’ve had enough?”
“No.” Adam said as he
unwrapped her hand, dragged the bottle back across the table with one hand and
raised the glass to his lips with the other.
“You don’t have to do
this; drown your problems with whisky.
There are people who want to help you Adam.”
“You? I think you’ve helped me enough already. Or have I helped myself instead?” he said
bitterly. The bottle tipped over,
filling the glass to the brim. The
whisky bottle was now down to halfway and the glass empty again before Anne had
a chance to reply.
“Why don’t you talk
to me about what’s happened to you? I
know I can help you.”
“Just like Tom Burns
huh? He relied on you to help him too
didn’t he?”
“Not like I’ve done
for you Adam.”
“Is that supposed to
make me feel better? If anything it’s
made me feel worse.”
Adam flicked his eyes
towards Anne’s face but back down to the glass in his hand before she could
hold the look. He couldn’t face her,
knowing what he’d done to her….again.
“I don’t want you to
apologize to me. I know what I was
doing.”
“Leave me alone
Anne. I don’t need your kind of help.”
“If that’s the way
you want it Adam, I’ll leave you alone…for now.
I never thought I’d live to see the day when Adam Cartwright wallowed in
self-pity. I guess that day has arrived. I’ll be back later to take you upstairs, when
you can’t crawl up them by yourself.”
With another glass
raised and downed by Adam, Anne pushed herself away from the table, leaving him
alone as he’d asked.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Hoss burst in the large
front door of the Ponderosa ranch house, his arm no longer in a sling. He’d just ridden back from
“Pa?” he yelled, his
hat and gun belt thrown at the sideboard.
“Yes Hoss?” replied
Ben as he hurried down the stairs, still buttoning up his shirt, the vest slung
over his right arm.
“Adam’s still in the
Silver Dollar. He’s been goin’ everyday now, so Sam says.”
“This has gone on
long enough, two weeks too long. Hoss,
saddle my horse, I’m going into town.”
“I’ll come with you.”
“Me too.” Said Little
Joe, as he came out of the kitchen, drinking a cup of steaming coffee. He hadn’t spoken to Anne ever since he’d
helped Adam up to her room. He’d come home in a foul mood, clashed with Ben and
Hoss then fled to his room, without dinner.
“No boys, this is
between me and Adam.”
“Adam’s been sittin at one particular table, so’s
he can see the whole saloon. It’s as if
he’s waitin for something to happen.”
“Oh? Which chair?”
“The corner table,
over near the piano.”
Ben was thinking
about how to talk to Adam, while he buckled on his gun belt. This talk was going to be difficult, moreso then when, as a little boy, he’d told him where
Elizabeth, his mother was. How he wished
“I’ll bring him home
boys.”
As he pushed open the
saloon doors, Ben found his son exactly where Hoss had said he’d be. Adam sat at the corner table, chair tipped
back against the wall, shot glass grasped in both hands. He watched his father enter and stop at the
bar.
“How long has he been
here this morning Sam?” he asked of the bartender as he leant against the bar,
his back towards Adam.
“That’s his first
bottle for today Mr Cartwright.” Ben glanced over his shoulder; the bottle was
down a half already.
“Thanks Sam, I
appreciate you’ve been keeping an eye on him for me.”
“No trouble Mr Cartwright. I haven’t been the only one though.” Sam
said, pointing in the direction of a saloon girl wearing a gold and black
dress. Ben saw her glance over at Adam
from the table she was seated at, then back to the man buying her a drink. She smiled at Ben as he caught her eye,
nodding to him.
Walking across the
floor to Adam’s table, Ben could see he was a mess. His tired eyes were bloodshot, black hair
untidy and a couple of day’s growth on his thinner, drawn face. He looked like he’d slept in his clothes,
which hung loosely on his body.
Ever since his days
at college in
Adam always laughed
with Hop Sing, when he said that, because it was an ongoing joke between them.
“Wondered when you
were gonna find me.” Said Adam in a husky voice,
before he coughed, his body shaking with the effort.
“Did you want me to
find you Adam?”
Adam dropped his eyes
to his glass, took a drink and reached for the bottle.
“I don’t know Pa,
maybe, maybe not.”
“Are you sober enough to talk to me?
Adam sniggered. “Probably about as sober as you’re likely to
get.”
Ben glanced around
the saloon, already there were a few customers sitting at the tables, their
eyes glancing back and forth to their table.
Once Joe had calmed
down last week, he’d informed his father of the scene he’d created in the
Silver Dollar with Adam and Anne, the saloon girl. Even mentioning how he’d punched his brother
who was drunk at the time and couldn’t defend himself. Ben didn’t want a repeat of that, not today.
“This isn’t the place
to talk.” Said Ben.
“No it isn’t is
it?” Adam drank the last of the whisky
in his glass then stood up. Reaching
into his pants pocket, he drew out a few coins, threw them on the table, picked
up the bottle and walked straight past his father.
Ben remained seated
in the chair and let his head fall into his hands. The light smell of perfume told him she was
standing near him, waiting for him to acknowledge her. He looked up to see the woman wearing the
black and gold dress he’d seen earlier.
She looked to be in her early thirties, long blonde hair and
intelligent, piercing green eyes.
“He’s slowly killing
himself. Go to him Mr
Cartwright please. He doesn’t think he
needs you or anyone else, but he does. I
know I can help him, if he’ll let me, but he needs you first. Let him know how much you care and that no
matter what he’s done, that you love him.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m Anne.” and with
that she turned and left him staring after her.
Slowly Ben stood up
and followed his son outside. Sam caught
his eye, shook his head but said nothing.
What was there to say to a man whose son was drowning himself in a
bottle of whisky? By the time Ben
unhitched his horse and readied himself to mount up, Adam was already gone. Dust in the air showed the direction he’d
gone. He checked the cinch on the
saddle, took a hold of the saddle horn and dragged himself into the saddle.
“I see Adam’s finally
left the saloon Ben.”
Recognizing the voice,
Ben answered without taking his eyes off the road.
“Yes
“Do you know where
he’s goin’?”
“I hope so. The way he’s feeling, he’s liable to do
something stupid which we’ll all regret.”
“You don’t think he’d
kill himself, do you Ben?” said
“No, I didn’t mean
that
“Ben?”
“Yes?”
“I wish you luck.”
“Thanks, I think I’m
going to need it.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Ben found Adam by the
lake at Sandy Cove. He thought that this
was where Adam would go. When Adam was
distressed and gone off riding, Ben’d always been
able to find him watching the water lap the sandy shore, for it had been the
last place he’d been truly happy with Joe as a baby and Marie alive.
Adam sat on the sand,
back against a large rock and the whisky bottle in his hand. He watched as his father tied his horse up
next to his, then walked over to him.
“Pull up a chair
Deciding it was
better for them both if Adam started talking first, Ben waited, watching the
ripples on the water. He didn’t have to
wait long before Adam began. Usually he
would have had to cajole his son into talking about his problems but after
seeing him in the saloon and his comments there, Ben knew the wait wasn’t going
to be long.
“You knew all along,
didn’t you?” Asked Adam, his eyes focused on the three-quarters empty bottle in
his hands.
“No Adam, I just wasn’t comfortable about her.
She seemed to be holding something back from you.”
“Now that’s
funny. I thought the opposite.” He
snorted and took another drink.
“Love is blind son.”
“Don’t give me quotes
“What’s gonna happen to them; Michelle I mean?” Adam asked softly,
after a further silence.
“Stewart Barnes confessed to everything, saying Michelle arranged every plan,
including yours.”
“Including mine?”
“Yes, they’d made a
good living out of extortion and murder.
Their original plan was to kidnap Michelle and hold her for ransom
before the wedding. The only thing that stopped them was the fact that Hoss
overheard them talking in the livery.
They then changed the plan and you were next. They were going to resort to kidnapping you
once you and Michelle were married. She
considered you a good mark for more money.
Once the ransom was paid, they were going to kill you anyway because
with you dead there would be no witnesses.”
Adam dropped the
bottle and raised his hands to his face.
The words his father spoke sank in and he realized how close he’d come
to being murdered.
“Just for the money,
huh, nothing else.”
“I’m sorry to say it
was just for the money. Some witnesses
have been found in
Adam’s head sprung
up. “Hoss shot? How? When?”
“After he tried to tell you about Michelle and you’d punched him, he was shot
by Barnes on the way back home. Luckily
it was minor wound and Doc Martin had him taken care of in no time, although he
did loose a bit of blood.”
“Hoss shot.” Adam shook
his head and laughed at the irony. “She
was making love to me that day, while her husband was out trying to kill
Hoss.” The amount of deceit Michelle was
capable of devastated him.
“How’s Hoss? Is he alright?” Adam asked in a quiet voice,
filled with regret of not knowing and caring about his younger brother’s
injury.
“He’s fine, it’s been two weeks you know.”
“That long? I’d kinda lost
track of time.”
Adam stood up slowly
and walked to the water’s edge, scuffing his boots in the soft sand.
“Remember when Hoss
and I were little, you used to bring us here and I’d teach Hoss how to skim
stones across the water?” With his face still turned towards the water he
continued. “Everything was so simple
then, not like now.”
“I think it’s time you came home son. Being with your brothers and myself will
help.” ‘Please come home son.’ Ben added to himself.
“I don’t think I can,
not yet.” After a slight pause Adam
continued. “How is it that every time I
let someone into my life, they hurt me?”
Ben felt the desolation in his son flow through his words. He could understand the despair emanating
from his son for he’d felt the same way, three times before. Each loss becoming harder to deal with than
the first.
“That’s what love and being loved is all about
son. To be loved, you must love
too. If love is only on one side, the
love will soon wilt and die.”
“Is that why Mother, Inger and Marie died, because I didn’t love them enough?”
“No Adam, you couldn’t
have loved them anymore than you loved Michelle, just in the different way a
child loves. There was nothing we could do.
It was their turn to leave us. If
we went through life without ever loosing someone we loved, how would we learn
to appreciate the love we have now? We
need love to make us who we are, to hold us together, for without love we’re
empty.
Michelle loved her
husband and she was willing to murder for him and him for her. Because they loved each other, doesn’t make
them bad, it’s just what they did in the name of love that was bad. They never realized the men they killed may
have been loved by their family and that by killing him, they died too, in some
way. Stewart and Michelle Barnes may have killed for love but they’d forgotten
how to love others, aside from themselves.”
“Do you still love me
Pa, even though I said some things in anger I regret saying and doing some
things I’m not proud of?” asked Adam, as he turned in the soft sand and walked
back to the rock his father was sitting against and dropped down beside him.
“Adam, I’ll always
love you, as I’ll always love your brothers and your mothers. Just because someone isn’t always with you,
doesn’t mean you stop loving them.”
“I’ve never felt like
this before…so out of control. I can’t
think straight… can’t eat… can’t sleep without help…that kind.” He said looking
down at the bottle near his feet. “I
can’t get through this Pa, not this time.
I feel like I’m drowning. When we
lost Marie, I had Hoss and Little Joe needing me. This time it’s different, I can’t fight
anymore Pa, it hurts too much.” He started to cry; tears of bitterness and
regret for a past he couldn’t change; for the love he needed taken from him so
many times.
“You just need time
son. Time to be at peace with
yourself. It’s not going to be easy to
put behind you what’s happened but if I’m any judge, you will get through this,
just like I’ve had to.”
Ben reached out and
hugged his eldest son close to him. He
couldn’t remember the last time they’d held each other. He could feel Adam’s body heaving as he
sobbed, letting all the sorrow and pain for lost love pour out onto the sand.
Michelle Barnes had
managed to tear away the protective wall Adam had used to shield himself and in
return nearly destroyed him. Never one
to openly display his feelings Adam had given his total love and commitment to
her, only to have it thrown back at him.
It was going to take plenty of love and understanding from his family to
help him recover.
Eventually the crying subsided and as Ben held
him closer, he relished the physical contact with his son, but not the reason.
“I think I’m alright
Pa, you can let go now.”
Reluctantly he let go
of Adam as asked. To loose the touch
brought a tear to his own eyes. Ben
left his hands resting on Adam’s shoulders, forcing him to meet his father’s
gaze. As their eyes met for an all to
brief moment, Ben could see Adam had closed himself to his feelings, the walls
firmly back in place, higher than ever before.
It was going to take a woman of strong determination to break the solid
walls down again. Would Adam ever be
able to find such a woman here or would he decide to leave? Ben turned aside his thoughts, for he hoped
all his sons would remain close to the Ponderosa, if not on it, when they
started their family.
“We’d better get on
back to the house
“Hoss understood
Adam, we all did.”
“Not just
“Let’s go home,
son. It’s time you came back and we’ve
all missed you. Hop Sing’s
been complaining every day about too much food being left over from the
meals. No one’s had much of an appetite
lately, even Hoss has been off his food.”
“I’m coming…but not
staying.” Adam said, giving a small smile to his father.
Alarmed, Ben reached out
quickly and put his hand on Adam’s arm. Was he still going to loose him?
“What…. not
staying? Why not?”
“No,
“Okay, Adam, whatever
you think is best for yourself. Don’t be
too hard on yourself son because I’ve never known you to do anything by
halves. For you it’s either all or
nothing and I guess you could say that’s also true when it comes to whom you
give your love to.”
Ben smiled to himself
as he watched Adam pick up the whisky bottle and pour the remaining contents on
the sand, pleased that for the moment, Adam was no longer looking for comfort
in a bottle. His eldest son was coming
home, maybe not the ranch house, but still the Ponderosa.
“Don’t put your heart
on hold, son. Love has a strange way of
finding you, when you least expect it.
Always remember that.”
“You and your quotes,
THE END