THE LITTLE ROBBER

BY: Lynne G.

As the Cartwright family was having their breakfast that morning, Ben Cartwright told his older sons that he and Little Joe, Ben's five year old son, were going into Virginia City after breakfast to get supplies, and he wanted to know if they needed or wanted anything from town.

Ben's oldest son, Adam who was eighteen years old told his father that he didn't need anything.  When Ben asked his middle son, Hoss who was eleven if he needed anything, he said candy would be nice.

Before Ben and Little Joe left for town, he asked Hop Sing if he had his list ready.  " Yes Mr. Cartlight, here is list," said Hop Sing as he handed his list to Ben.  " You be good boy Little Joe.  Listen to father," Hop Sing told the boy.  " I'mma ahwayz a good boy Hop Sing," smiled the boy.  Ben looked over at Hop Sing, and said, " that will be the day."  Hop Sing smiled at that statement.

The first stop in Virginia City was the general store, where Ben gave Tom Cass the supply list.  " Hi Ben, Little Joe," greeted Tom.  " Hi Tom," said Ben.  " Howdy Mr. Cass," greeted Little Joe.  From the store, Ben and Little Joe went over to Sheriff Roy Coffee's office for a visit and some checkers.

" Howdy Ben, Little Joe," said Roy.  " Hi Roy, ready for some checkers now?" asked Ben.  "Yup, I've been waitin' jest for that so I can get even with you Ben," laughed Roy.  " Mr. Coffee, can I's go pway in da cells pweaze?" asked Little Joe.  " You sure can son," Roy told the little boy.  " Oh, boy.  Fank you," said the little boy as he headed for the cells.

 After playing in one of the cells for a while, Little Joe got bored, so he snuck out of the cell.  He saw Ben and Roy very involved in a game of checkers, so he very quietly snuck out of the office.  He had a plan in his young mind, and so off he went.

Little Joe walked over to the bank, but before he went in, he looked around to see if anyone was heading towards the bank.  When he saw no one was coming his way, he pulled up his bandana up over his face, so only his big bright green eyes would show.  Then he took his wooden gun out of his holster, and he entered the bank. 

He walked over to the tellers window and said," Dun't no one moob.  Dis is a stuck up.  I's gotts my gun, so dun't twi nuffin'.  Now gib me all yer money pweaze,"  Sally the bank teller was trying very hard not to laugh outloud at this very small bank robber.  All she could see of him was the top of his curly head and the tip of his wooden gun.  Little Joe had left his hat on the cot in one of the jail cells.  The bank always kept a lot of play money on hand for the little children.

" Do you have something to put the money in Mr. Bank Robber?" asked Sally.  Little Joe stood back so he could see Sally, and he said, " Uh Oh.  I's dun't gotts nuffin' ta put da money in.  Do ya gotts sompfing I's can use ma'am?" asked Little Joe.  " Well let me see what I can find for you.  Yes I do have something you can use," she said as she looked over at Bill Walter, the bank manager, who was trying very hard not to laugh either.

" Oh goody.  Now puts da money in whatcha's gotts fer me pweaze." Little Joe told Sally very seriously.  Sally put a lot of play money in the small cloth bag, and she handed it down to Little Joe.  " Here you go.  Please don't shoot me," she begged trying to look serious.  As Little Joe reached up to take the bag of money, he said, " fank you bery much ma'am.  Dun't wawee.  I's wun't shoot ya.  I'm a good boy.  Bye, Bye.  Hab a bery nice day now," he said as he ran out of the bank.

By now Sally and Bill were laughing loudly. " Now that's the kind of bank robber I like.  He's just so darn cute," laughed Sally.  " I wonder what Ben will think of his little bank robber?" asked Bill who couldn't stop laughing.  " I just loved the way he said, ' this is a stuck up, instead of saying stick up'," Sally said still laughing.

Little Joe was on a roll now.  " WOW, dat was easy.  Now I's gotta wob da stowa.  When he got to the general store, he pulled up his bandana across his little face, and he got his gun out of the holster, and he walked into the store. 

" Dis is a stuck up.  Dun't moob," said the very serious little robber.  Tom Cass looked down at this little robber, and he put his hands up high in the air, and he said," Please don't hurt me.  Do you want money?" he asked.  " Nope, I's fink I's jest wants some candy pweaze Mr. Cass.  I's wun't hut ya, cuz Papa will tan me if'n I'mma a bad boy," Little Joe said.  As with Sally and Bill at the bank, Tom was having a very hard time not to laugh.

" What kind of candy do you want Mr.?" Tom asked.  As Little Joe looked at all the candy in the jars, he pointed to the ones, and he said," dem kinds,"  " Oh, you want peppermint sticks do you.  How many would you like?" asked Tom.  " Uh, Oh, a penny's wurf pweaze," said Little Joe. Tom put the candy in a bag and handed it to Little Joe, who reached into his pocket and took out his penny, and he handed it to Tom.  " Fank you bery much Mr. Cass.  Bye, Bye," he said as he ran out the door.  Tom stood there laughing out loud. 

Little Joe ran back over to the bank, but before he went back into the bank, he pulled up his bandana and took his gun out of his holster again, and he walked into the bank again.  " I'mma back. I fer gotted ta tell ya, dats ya gotts ta put yer hands up when ya's gets wobbed.  Jest fought ya should know dat.  Bye, Bye," yelled Little Joe as he turned and ran back out of the bank.  Sally and Bill were laughing again. 

Bill decided to go after the little robber this time, so he ran after him.  When he finally caught up to the little robber, he lightly put his hand on the boy's shoulder and he said, " I finally captured you.  I think we had better go over to the Sheriff's office now."  Bill was almost laughing again, but he held it in.  " UH, OH.  I's gonna be in big tubo now," said Little Joe softly. 

Bill opened the door to the Sheriff's office and said," Roy, I just captured me a bank robber,"  Both Ben and Roy looked up and saw Bill standing there with his hand on the shoulder of the  bandana masked little bank robber, who was still holding his wodden gun pointed forward.  Both Ben and Roy almost broke out laughing.  " WHAT THE HECK......?" shouted Ben trying to look and sound angry.  Roy was trying to look angry also, but he was having a very hard time doing so. 

" Hi ya papa.  I's wobbed me da bank and da stowa.  I's gotts wots of money in dis here bag, and candy in dis uder bag.  Papa, I's paided Mr. Cass fer the candy I tooked," said Little Joe trying to look very serious. 

Little Joe walked over to Roy and he held his little hands high up in the air.  " Ya can wested me if'n ya wanna, Sheriff Coffee.  I's waz a naughty boy, cuz I's wobbed da bank and da stowa.  Here's my gun and my bags," said Little Joe as he laid his things on Roy's desk.  Then he walked over to the cells by himself and he went into the cell where his hat was and he closed the door to the cell.  He sat down on the cot, folded his little arms across his chest and sighed.  He still had his bandana across his little face. 

Ben, Bill and Roy walked outside and began to laugh loudy.  " Ben, your little bank robber was so polite as he robbed the bank.  You should have seen him.  He was so serious about the robbery too.  Sally said all she could see of him was the top of his curly head, and the tip of his wooden gun.  When she leaned over to see his face, all see could see were his big green eyes.  His bandana covered the rest of his face.  I tell you Ben, he's a really little cutie pie ," said Bill.  The three of them walked back into the office still laughing.

Roy looked in the bag from the bank, and he pulled out some bundles of play money.  " Looks like Little Joe got himself quite a lotta loot here," said Roy as he counted the play money.  WOW, it's $50,000 Ben," said Roy as he started to laugh again.  Ben just shook his head and said," that little imp."  " Ben, don't be mad at him.  He was just playing and having some fun.  We keep lots of play money on hand for the little ones.  He can keep his loot," said Bill.  " Thanks Bill," said Ben.

Ben, Roy and Bill peeked into the jail cell to see what Little Joe was up too now, since it was much too quiet in there, and what they saw just melted their hearts.  For there laying on the cot was the little masked bank robber with his thumb tucked under the bandana, and safely in his mouth, and he was sound to sleep. 

" Roy, is it alright if I leave him here while I go and get the supplies loaded up into the buckboard?  Tom is probably wondering where I have gone.  I'll be right back to get my little bank robber," said Ben.  " Sure, Ben.  He'll be just fine right here," said Roy with a big smile on his face.  " Well, I had better get back to the bank now," said Bill. " Bye Bill," they said.  Bill left the Sheriff's office still laughing.

" Hi Tom.  Sorry it took me so long to come back to pick up the supplies.  I heard you had a little robber come in to see you a little while ago," said Ben, with a big grin on his face.  " I sure did Ben.  He was so funny and just too cute.  That's the first time I have ever been robbed for a penny's worth of candy, and have the robber pay for the candy as well.  That little boy of yours Ben is really a little character," said Tom.  " You can say that again Tom," Ben said laughing.  " At the moment my little imp is sound to sleep in a jail cell that he put himself into.  He still has his bandana across his face, and his thumb under the bandana and in his mouth.  He looks like an angel when he sleeps, but today he is a masked angel" laughed Ben.  Tom was still laughing. 

After Ben had loaded up the buckboard with the supplies, he drove over to Roy's office to get his little imp.  When he walked into the office, Roy was still satnding in the same spot looking at the sleeping child.  Roy turned around and smiled at Ben.  " Is he still sleeping Roy?" asked Ben.  " He sure is Ben," said Roy with a big smile on his face, and he hasn't moved at all either."  Ben and Roy walked over to the cot and looked down at the sleeping masked angel, and Ben started to gently rub the child's back.  " Joseph.  Little Joe.  Come on now son, it's time to go home baby," Ben said.  Little Joe slowly opened his eyes and yawned and then smiled.  " Hi papa, Mr Coffee," the sleepy boy said.  " Hi yourself.  Are you ready to get out of jail yet?" asked Ben.  The child nodded and sat up still yawning.  He yawned several more times and stood up.  As the three of them headed towards the front door of the office, Roy said,"Little Joe don't forget your bags here," as he handed them to the child.  " Fank you," he said.  They all said 'good bye'."

As Ben and Little Joe headed for home, the child fell asleep again as he leaned against Ben's chest.  Ben stopped the buckboard and he gently laid the child down so his head could rest on his lap.  Once he had Little Joe settled on his lap, they continued on home. 

As they rode into the yard, Adam and Hoss came out to help inload the supplies.  As soon as Ben stopped the buckboard, Adam and Hoss noticed that their little brother had his bandana across his face, and he was sound to sleep.  " Pa, why does Little Joe have his bandana across his face?  He looks like a bank robber or something,"said Adam as he looked at the masked child.  " Well boys, it's a long story.  I'll tell you all about it after we get the supplies unloaded," Ben said.  He handed the sleeping little boy down to Adam , and said, " Adam please would you take him in the house and lay him  on the sattee for me?"  " Be glad to pa," said Adam as he took his baby brother in his arms and he carried him in to the house.  Once in the house, he laid the child on the sattee and covered him up with a blanket.  He leaned down and gently kissed the boys head.

After all the supplies were unloaded, and put away, and the horses and buckboard were taken care of, the Cartwrights went into the house.

Ben sat down to tell Adam and Hoss about what their little brother had done.  " Boy's I hate to tell you this, but your little brother robbed the bank and the general store today,"Ben told them. Both Adam and Hoss just looked at him, not too sure what to say.  " Pa, your kiddin' right?" asked a shocked Hoss.  " No son, it's true, I'm sorry to say.  He took $50,000 from the bank and a penny's worth of candy from the store, and for your information, he paid Mr. Cass his penny for the candy, before he left the store.  Mr. Cass said that's the first time a robber had paid for what had has taken," Ben said.  By now, they were all laughing.

Several days later after dinner, Hoss, Adam and Little Joe went out to the barn to do their evening chores.  Little Joe wore his holster and wooden gun just in case some bad men showed up. 

The little boy finished up his chores, and he told his brothers that he was going to play outside for a while.  So he left the barn, and headed over to the bunkhouse that was next to the house.  When he got to the door, he put his bandana across his face and got his gun out.  He took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.  Charlie opened the door and looked down at the masked outlaw.  " Put em up.  Dis is a stuck up.  Dun't twi nuffin," Little Joe said.  Charlie was trying very hard not to laugh at this little outlaw.

" Boy's, we are being robbed," said Charlie as he backed up with his hands held high in the air.  The rest of the hands had heard the story of the little outlaw, so they played along with Charlie.  They all stood up and put their hands up too.  " Please don't hurt us.  We'll give you anything you want, but please don't hurt us Mr," begged Hank.

" I's wun't hut ya.  Whatcha gotts fer me?" asked Little Joe.  " Well, we have lots of cookies, and some candy, and oh yes, some pennies too," said Harry.  " OH GOODY !!!!  I'd wuv ta hab a cookie, a piece of candy and a penny too pweaze," said an excited Little Joe. 

" If you take your mask off then we could put your goodies in that for ya," suggested Charlie.  " UH, nope, den ya'd knowed who I's waz.  I's leab it on pweaze," said the fast thinking little outlaw.  " We do have extra napkins, so how about that?" asked Ray.  " Kay,"said the boy.

" OK, why don't you sit down and have your cookie while we get your goodies together," said Charlie.  " Kay," said Little Joe as he sat down at the table and he took the cookie Hank handed him.  " Fank you Hank," said the little boy.

Charlie put two cookies, some candy, ten pennies, and a carved horse that he had made for Little Joe.  Charlie loved to carve as did all of the hands.  They loved to make farm animals for the little boy and they got a kick out of watching him play with them.

As Little Joe finished his cookie, Charlie walked over to him and he handed him the large napkin that was full of goodies.  Charlie had gathered the edges of the napkin and tied them together so Little Joe wouldn't lose any of his goodies. 

" Fank you all bery much fer da goodies. I's gotts ta go now," said the little outlaw as he ran out the door.  Everyone in the bunkhouse started laughing loudly.  " Now that was the funniest outlaw I've ever seen," laughed Charlie.  They all agreed. 

Little Joe ran up to his room as fast as his little legs would take him.  Once up in his room, he hid the goody bag, and then he ran back down the stairs and ran out the door.  Ben sat there watching his little tornado coming and going, and wondering what he was up too now.

Little Joe ran into the barn and started to groom his pony.  Adam and Hoss watched him and knew that he was up to some kind of mischief.  " Hey, liitle brother, where ya been?" asked Hoss.  " Just out wobbin'," said the little boy.  Adam and Hoss looked at each other, smiled and wondered who was robbed now.  " Punkin, who did ya rob?" asked Hoss.  " Can't tell ya Hoss," Little Joe told him. 

As Adam and Hoss walked out of the barn door, they could hear loud laughter coming from the bunkhouse.  " Hum, wonder what's so funny in there?" asked Hoss.  " OH, NO, you don't think they were robbed do you Hoss?" asked Adam.  " Well, could be big brother," said Hoss as they walked over to the bunkhouse and knocked on the door.

Hank opened the door, while still laughing.  " Hi Adam, Hoss.  Come in," laughed Hank.  " Hi guys.  Were you guys robbed a little while ago, by a small curly haired, green eyed outlaw?" asked Adam with a big smile on his face.  " We sure were Adam, and if he weren't just the cutest and politest little outlaw ever," laughed Charlie.  " We are sorry about guys. That little imp thinks he can be an outlaw now," said Adam.  " Don't worry Adam, he's just playing and having some fun is all," Charlie said.  " What did he steal from you guys?" asked Adam.  " We gave him a couple of cookies, some candy, ten pennies, and a carved horse I had made for him," Charlie told Adam and Hoss.

" Ten pennies???  You guys shouldn't give him your pennies.  Here let me give some pennies back," said Adam and he and Hoss reached into their pockets to see how many pennies they had.  " No Adam, Hoss, we give him pennies from time to time.  Please let him keep them," Hank said.  " Are you guys sure about that?" asked Hoss.  " Yes we are.  We just love that little boy, and he is so much fun too," Charlie told Adam and Hoss.  " Well, thank you guys," said Adam.  They all said good night, but before Adam and Hoss walked to the door, Charlie said,  "Please don't punish him.  We all had a fun time with him tonight."  " OK Charlie.  We'll explain to Pa, and ask him not to punish the little imp," Adam told the men. 

Adam and Hoss told Ben about the robbery after Little Joe had gone to sleep for the night.  Ben just shook his head and the three of them just laughed.  " I have a feeling I better have a talk with that little robber of ours.  Don't worry, I'm not going to be angry with him," Ben said.

A couple of months later, there hadn't been any new robberies for which Ben was thankful for.  Then one day while Hop Sing was taking care of Little Joe for the day, and Ben and Adam went into Virginia City to get supplies, and Hoss was at school, Little Joe was suppose to be taking his nap.  The little boy snuck out of the house  and headed for the barn where he saddled up his pony and quietly rode out of the yard.  The little boy rode all the way to where the road to Virginia City was.  Now he wasn't suppose to be out on his own like that, but he had only one thing on his mind that day, and he wanted to make sure that he could do it.

He just sat there on Star and waited for the stage to come by.  His plan was to rob the stage that day.  He had his bandana across his face and his gun out of the holster, and he waited.  Finally after about one hour, the stage from Carson City came along.  Little Joe was very excited now, so he pointed his wooden gun at the stage.  Tucker, the stage driver was a good friend of the Cartwright, so he knew Little Joe very well.  When he noticed the child in the middle of the road, he stopped the stage.

Tucker started to laugh when he saw the little outlaw, so he decided to play along with him.  " Don't shoot !" yelled Tucker.  " I's wun't shoots, but dis is a stuck up.  Whatcha gotts fer me?" asked a very serious little outlaw.  Tucker wanted to laugh at the ' stuck up ' saying, but he didn't.  " Well, what would you like?" asked Tucker.  " I's dunno.  OH, can I's dwibe da stage?" asked the excited little boy.  " Sure but what about your pony?" asked Tucker.  " I's send him home," said Little Joe as he slapped Star on  his rump, and the pony ran off home. 

Tucker jumped down from the stage, and he lifted Little Joe up to the drivers seat, then he climed back up,  Once they were both on the drivers seat, Tucker put Little Joe on his lap, then he let the little boy help hold the reins.  Soon they were off to Virginia City.  Little Joe was having a great time and he was giggling all the way to town.  He still had his bandana across his face, but he had put his gun back into his holster.

Ben and Adam were just finishing loading up the buckboard with supplies, as the stage came into town.  Adam looked up at the stage as it went past, and he thought he was seeing things, and he shook his head and looked again, but the stage had already passed them by.  " NO WAY !!  IT COULDN"T HAVE BEEN ???" Adam said out loud.  Ben looked at him and asked, " what did you say?"  " I'm not sure Pa, but I think I just saw Little Joe driving the stage, with his bandana across his face." Adam said as he didn't know what to think.  " Oh, come on now Adam.  Little Joe driving the stage??  I think you've been out in the sun too long.  Besides, he's at home with Hop Sing," said a now confused Ben as he looked at the back of the stage that had just stopped at the stage depot. 

" Gee, Mr. Robber, you sure did a wonderful job of driving this here stage," said Tucker.  " I's wealy did do a good job? said the excited Little Joe.  Tucker nodded.  Tucker climbed down from the drivers seat and then reached up and lifted Little Joe down to the ground.  " Fank you bery much fer ledin' me dwibe da stage.  It was so much fun !! Little Joe told Tucker.

As Ben and Adam were driving the buckboard past the stage depot, they both noticed Little Joe standing there talking to Tucker.  .  " It was Little Joe, Adam !  Why that little imp.  How on earth....?" Ben said to Adam.  " Well, now I know I wasn't seeing things," said Adam as Ben pulled the buckboard to a stop. 

" JOSEPH FRANCIS CARTWRIGHT !!   WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING DRIVING THE STAGE???" yelled Ben.  " Howdy Ben, Adam. This little guy held up the stage on the road to Virginia City, so I let him drive the stage," said Tucker with a big smile on his face.  " Hi ya Papa.  I's dun dwibe da stage, and it was fun," Little Joe told Ben and Adam.  " Son, what am I going to do with you?" asked Ben as he looked down at his little boy.  " Jest wuv me Papa, the child said softly said looking up at Ben with his big green eyes that melted Ben's heart.  Adam just shook his head as he too looked down at his baby brother, and he started to laugh, as did Tucker too.  Ben just kept looking down at his baby and then he started to laugh, cos the only part of the child's face showing were those eyes and some curls that showed from under his hat.  Ben thanked Tucker for letting Little Joe help drive the stage, and he told Ben that he really enjoyed having Little Joe with him.  On the way back to the Ponderosa, Little Joe fell asleep on Adam's lap. 

When they rode into the yard a frantic Hop Sing came running out yelling in Chinese, but when he saw a sleeping Little Joe on Adam's lap, he calmed down.  " Mr. Cartlight, little boys' pony come home by self.  Where you find little boy?" asked Hop Sing.  " Well Hop Sing, it seems that this little imp held up the stage and he helped drive the stage into Virginia City.  When we saw him, we stopped to get him and bring him home.," said Ben.  " I not know what to think when little boy missing and pony come home without little boy," Hop Sing said.

Ben climbed down from the buckboard and took his sleeping baby boy from Adam, and he carried him into the house and laid hm on the sattee.  Then he went to help unload the supplies.

When Hoss came home from school later that day, Little Joe excitedly told him that he held up the stage, and that he got to drive the stage into Virginia City.  Hoss looked over at Ben and Adam, and Ben nodded that it was true, and Hoss looked back at his baby brother and he started to laugh.  "Little brother, why did you hold up the stage fer?" asked Hoss.  " I's dunno.  I's guess I jest wanted ta see what it was wike ta wob da stage.  I's wun't do it no moe," the child said.  " Well, you better not or you will get another spanking like you had today for leaving the yard," said Ben.  Little Joe's eyes got really big when he heard that, as he stood there and slowly rubbed his little bottom.  " I's ain't gonna wob nuffin' no moe," he told his family, and they were happy to hear that his robbing days were over, or at least they hoped they were.  Little did they know, but in several more years to come, Little Joe would talk Hoss into helping him rob one of the banks in Virginia City.

THE END

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