BLIND FAITH
by Mary Stone

Chapter 1


Adam Cartwright paced impatiently in front of the stage office waiting for his father's friend to arrive. The stage was now an hour overdue, and Adam still had chores to do at home. With his father and younger brothers away, he had a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. Irritably Adam sat down and removed his hat, running an anxious hand through his black hair.

Where was this Harry Dawson, the man he'd heard much about from his father.

Although recently he'd heard much more about the man from others in town,apparently Harry Dawson the attorney, had a less than respectable reputation in Arizona territory. From what Adam had been told, he would take the case of whoever could pay his price and would win his case by any means. He'd apparently left
Arizona territory to escape accusations. But realistically Adam knew this was all second hand information and his father had always taught him that talk was cheap, so he chose to see the man for himself and make his own judgement. But just when he would get the chance was becoming a burning question on his mind.

He once again got to his feet when he noticed Buck Andrews coming toward him. Buck was a new resident to Virginia City, not even having lived there a year. He looked grim as he approached Adam and Adam sighed heavily. Andrews was one of the people who was not happy about Mr. Dawson's arrival. He came up beside Adam and pointed up the hilly street.

" He coming in on today's stage Adam?"

" Look Buck, I know you don't like the man but I'm going to ask that you don't interfere with his visit here. Out of respect for my father if nothing else."

" Adam do you or your father have any idea what kind of a man you're hosting? This is a cold calculating murderer who knows all the little ways to get away with it."

" Buck I know how you feel, but he's my father's friend from childhood I can't exactly turn him away now can I?"

" Well you just remember I warned you Cartwright, you might as well find out the hard way."

Adam frowned and sighed irritably " I'm just asking you to stay out of his way, and besides he's here for a visit not for legal matters."

" Legal matters or no, I'm not the only one around here who don't want him around, there are others."

" Yeah I know there are because you've been running your mouth off to anyone who would listen" Adam said clenching his fists.

" I think he ought'a be told right off, he ain't welcome, thanks but no thanks, plain and simple" Buck insisted.

" You speaking for the whole town or just yourself?" Adam quipped, the challenge clear in his voice.

. Here comes your honored guest now" Buck said indicating the arriving stage with a tilt of his head.

The stage pulled up in front of them with the horse bobbing their heads and rattling chains and traces. As the passengers exited the stage, Adam offered assistance to two women and a child. Two men walked off the stage and Adam noticed one of them seemed to be looking for someone.

" Mr Dawson?"

The man turned and squinted at him " Yes I'm Harry Dawson."

" I'm Adam Cartwright Mr. Dawson, my father sent me to meet you, he's delayed in returning from a business trip with my brothers."

Dawson smiled and shook Adam's hand " It's a pleasure to see you again young man, how is your father?"

" He's just fine sir, he asked me to make his apologies but it couldn't be avoided. He said we should expect him late tomorrow."

" Well young man I suppose you'll be acting as my host until he returns. Shall we go, I'm rather tired and a bit hungry to boot."

" Certainly, excuse me the carriage is right over here" Adam said and took his arm guiding him toward the wagon.

" Adam could I talk to you for a minute?" Buck called from his perch on the tie rail. Adam frowned " Would you excuse me for a brief moment sir, I'll be right back."

Dawson looked annoyed but made no comment as he crossed the street.

Buck took Adam's arm " Listen Adam you give me five minutes with Dawson the destroyer, just five minutes."

" Look Buck I'm trying to be patient with you, you stay away from him and keep your mouth shut while he's here or I'll stop being nice about it you understand?"

Buck took one look at Adam's face and knew he meant it.

" Young Cartwright, would you prefer me to drive out myself?" Dawson called impatiently

" Adam stared at his friend a moment more than turned back to his guest.

" See you around Adam" Buck said to his back.

By the time Ben arrived back at the ranch, Harry Dawson was settled in comfortably. Dinner that night was a happy affair filled with wonderful stories of Harry and Ben as young men in New Bedford. Adam was as captivated as his brothers, but Buck's words nagged at the back of his mind.

He wanted to question his father about his friend's reputation but knew Ben would dismiss it as simply talk, still he wondered. So he decided to watch and listen, maybe he could detect something in the man's manner, or even in his stories, that would validate Buck's statements.
.
What disturbed Adam the most was his father's sincere fondness for his friend. Even if Adam found Buck's suspicions to be true, even if the man was less than honest, what difference would it make to his father?

There was little time for much else once the fall gathering began and soon after there was a rush to get things done before winter came. The nights were already getting cold and fires were built up each night to try to keep the chill out.

Dawson had been with the Cartwrights for nearly two weeks before Adam had a chance to go to town. After dropping off a list of supplies he ventured over to the saloon for a drink. The wind stirred and Adam turned the collar of his coat up and hunched his shoulders.

Once inside the saloon He ordered a whiskey and took his drink to a small table. He glanced around the room at the few people who occupied it. It was still early and there were barely a dozen people present. Skip sat at the piano playing a lively tune as if unaware of his audience. Adam watched him as he thought of
how often he himself retreated into a world of his own.

He looked up in time to see the editor of the Territorial Enterprise enter the saloon. Adam called out his name and motioned for him to join him. Jack gave a slight nod and ordered a drink then joined Adam.

" Howdy Adam what can I do for you?"

" I wonder if I might talk with you a moment?" Adam said indicating the chair opposite him.

Jack sat down and waited for Adam to state his intent.

" Well sir here's the thing, considering your position here in town, I wondered if you perhaps may have knowledge of our current guest?"

Jack gave a small smile " Well Adam I gather you're talking about Dawson? Yeah I have knowledge of him."

He leaned back in his chair and sipped his drink, still wearing that knowing smile " I'll tell you what I know Adam and after that you can come to your own conclusion." Jack took his time before speaking again " There are at least four separate incidents that I'm aware of, four separate cases that he was involved in, in which his client's opposition came to mysterious ends. Of course each time there was nothing that could be proven. He's a smart man Adam, I'll give him that, and he's thorough, if you can pay his price that is. He's never lost a case Adam and with good reason."

Adam stared at Jack absorbing this new information, he was no ordinary lawyer after all.

" Does your father have him working on something for him?" Jack asked.

Adam slowly shook his head and reached for his glass.

Jack rose from his chair and shoved it in " Well take my advice Adam, make sure he stays out of the family's business, the sooner he's on his way the better."

" Yeah I can see that" Adam said and stood to shake Jack's hand " Thanks for the information Jack."

Adam talked to more people that day and heard the same stories and advice over and over again. By the time he headed home he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. He debated whether to mention any of what he knew to his father and wondered how much his father already knew and chose to ignore.

At breakfast the next morning he felt as if Dawson was staring at him and tried to avoid looking in his direction. He quickly finished his breakfast and left the house.

His brothers noticed his silence but said nothing, it was best not to pry with Adam. He would open up to them when and if he was ready.

They were late to dinner that night but Adam was relieved to see Dawson absent from the table. Joe and Hoss were surprised by his sudden mood change but had no complaints about it.

The four men were having a light discussion about upcoming events on the ranch when the front door suddenly opened and slammed shut. Adam soon found himself facing Dawson's fury.

Ben quickly got to his feet " Harry what is it, what's wrong?"

" Never have I been so insulted in my life" he seethed.

" Harry please what is this about?"

Dawson pointed at Adam " You're son there has been talking about me all over town and spreading vicious rumors. He's disgraced my name before the whole town."

Adam kept his eyes on his plate, he held back the words burning on his tongue.

Harry this is ridiculous, Adam would never do such a thing" Ben insisted, uncomfortable with the way Harry was looking at his son.

Harry turned to Ben horrified " Is it not enough that your son has disgraced me, now my friend calls me a liar. Ask the boy if he was not talking to people all over town, ask him?"

" Oh Harry there's no need for that, I know Adam........."

Adam's cheeks burned " Pa...."

" ...... my son would not go around engaging in cheap gossip that's the most...."

" Pa....." Adam said louder, the tension building in his mind.

" ....... he's just as concerned with your ....

" Pa please..." Adam shouted until all eyes were on him, he got to his feet and braced his hands on the table " It's true, I was talking to people" he said and his eyes met Dawson's, he wanted the man to know that he knew what he was.

Ben's mouth fell open and he stared at his eldest son, Adam met his father's eyes and quickly wished he hadn't, his chin fell to his chest.

Joe and Hoss shifted nervously in their chairs as Dawson folded his arms across his chest, a satisfied smug look on his face.

" I told you Ben, you ought'a take him out to the woodshed and lash him good."

Ben turned angrily to his friend " Harry please let me handle this, would you all excuse us?"

Joe and Hoss hastily left the table, but Dawson wasn't finished.

" I tell you Ben if he was my boy why I'd take a horsewhip to him."

Ben's eyes took on a threatening gleam " He's not your boy Harry, he's mine now would you please excuse us."

Dawson grunted and turned on his heel slamming the door behind him.

" Well young man, what have you got to say for yourself?" Ben demanded.

Adam looked up at his father's angry face " Pa what do you know about him, not about the man you once knew but the man he is
now, what do you know about him?"

" Oh Adam please you know exactly how I feel about washerwomen gossip" Ben said waving a dismissing hand at him.

" But Pa, what if it isn't gossip? What if this old friend of yours is everything they say he is? You haven't seen him in over twenty years and Pa you know as well as I, people change."

Ben had calmed enough to take his seat again " Adam, Harry and I spent most of our youth together, we watched out for each other and kept each other going through the worst of times. He was like a brother to me, do you understand what I'm saying? I can't simply acknowledge cheap talk and that's exactly what it is
Adam, talk."

Adam stood and looked at his father " I know he was your friend Pa and I respect that, but sometimes circumstances change people. One of the hardest things we ever do is stand back and take a good look at someone we care about, I suggest you take another look Pa."

" Tell me something Adam, just what are you basing these accusations on?"

Adam opened his mouth to answer but then blew out an exasperated breath. He knew his father would never listen to him now, he shook his head and left the room.

Second Part:

After their confrontation Adam did his best to stay out of Dawson's way. Once the fall gathering was over and he wasn't needed as much he moved into town.

His brothers, torn between their loyalty to their father and their concern for their brother, tried to stay supportive to both. They visited Adam as often as possible to let him know they were there for him. It meant a great deal to Adam to have them around.

One Saturday they opted to visit with Adam in his room rather than join the crowd in the saloon. The brothers sat around a small table playing a game of poker.

" We should've just got into a game downstairs" Little Joe complained.

" You'd end up broke anyway Little Joe at least this way the money stays in the family" Hoss chided him " Now quit complaining and tell me what you want."

Adam smiled fondly at his brothers " He's right you know Joe, besides I prefer this over a smokey smelly saloon anyway."

Joe frowned at them and looked at his hand, then held up two fingers. Hoss passed him the cards and then turned to Adam who smiled and held up one finger. Hoss looked at Joe with alarm but Joe shook his head unconcerned " He's bluffing."

Adam lost his smile to regard his young brother " Am I?"

Joe hated that look because it was one he couldn't read, he looked hopefully at Hoss but he couldn't tell either.

Joe made his bet " Okay let's see what you've got."

Adam layed down four sixes and scooped up the money. That was enough for Joe.

" Come on fellas let's go downstairs for awhile."

Adam looked up to see both sets of eyes on him.

" Alright, alright but do yourself a favor and stay out of any poker games."

The three brothers made their way down the stairs and into the packed Saturday night crowd. The smoke was so thick it was difficult to see as they searched for some kind of opening.

" This way fellers" Hoss said suddenly pushing forward, Joe and Adam fell in behind him as Hoss pressed through calling "Excuse me folks, coming through."

They made it to the bar and squeezed in while Hoss called for a bottle.

" Hoss why don't we stick with beer tonight?" Adam suggested but Hoss didn't hear him.

Hey Sam, what's the party all about?" Hoss asked.

" It ain't just here Hoss, the whole town's celebratin', old man Peck finally struck it rich,he's buying drinks for everyone in town, you fellas should've come down sooner."

Hoss reached over Joe to slap Adam on the arm as if to say, told you so.

Joe smiled and took a swallow of whiskey from the jigger Hoss handed him and suddenly choked on it. Hoss and Adam promptly
slapped him on the back.

" You okay kid?" Adam asked him.

Joe caught his breath " Whew Sam where'd you get that stuff?"

" Why that's Dixie's own brew Little Joe" Sam said delightedly.

Hoss sampled some of his own " Dadburn Sam that'd burn the hide off a horny toad."

Adam reached over and removed Joe's glass.

" Aw Adam come on I'm alright, give it back" Joe complained but Adam ignored him.

" Hey Adam you fellas still got that Dawson fella out at your place?" Sam asked diverting Adam's attention long enough for Joe to get the glass and bottle back.

" Yeah he's still there why?" Adam said evenly.

" Oh nothing it's just that folks have been talking about him, you sure are taking a chance having him around. If I was you I'd be showing him the door."

" Yeah well you ain't me Sam so let's drop it" Adam warned although the idea did appeal to him.

Sam shrugged and moved on to some of his other patrons.

" Hey Adam what's that all about anyway, that got anything to do with you moving into town?" Hoss asked him.

Adam stared at the liquid in his glass his mind starting to wander " Maybe..... I suppose Pa had something to say about it."

" No not really Adam, I mean he asked us if we knew why you did it."

" Well no matter as soon as Dawson leaves I'll come back home."

" Dadburnit Adam that's what I'm asking ya, what's he done?"

Adam frowned and shook his head irritably " Look forget about it, I don't want to talk about it."

Hoss took the hint and after a long silence, changed the subject, deciding to instead talk about an upcoming auction in Reno that he tried to persuade Adam to accompany him to. He talked for several minutes about how the trip would be a welcome break for them.

" I might go along if the weather holds out, I mean here it is nearly the end of October and no snow yet."

" Don't tell me your complaining big brother?" Hoss teased " No I'm not complaining I'm just reminding you, younger brother, that this time of year the weather tends to be unpredictable and......"

He was interrupted by Joe grabbing his arm " Hey Adam, is my nose wet?" he asked rubbing his nose with a puzzled expression on his face.

Adam stared incredulous " What?"

" My nose Adam it feels wet, here feel it?" he insisted grabbing Adam's hand but Adam quickly jerked it away. Joe turned his attention to Hoss " Hoss feel it, it's really wet I can feel it" Joe said leaning over , Hoss did as he wished while Adam rolled his eyes.

" I don't feel nothing Joe" he said.

Adam shoved Hoss back " Of course you don't because it isn't wet, now knock it off you two."

" Thanks a lot " Joe retorted giving Adam the chance to catch a whiff of alcohol. He looked over and saw the jug now considerably less full and he glared at Hoss.

"Why weren't you watching him?" he snapped.

" Me? You were supposed to watch him, I thought you took that away from him? Besides Adam you were the one sitting next to him."

Adam looked back at his youngest brother who was furiously wiping at his nose now. Adam shook his head and sighed " Well you better get him home."

" Now wait a doggone minute Adam, I ain't about to bring him home in that condition Pa would have my hide, you want him home you take him home."

Adam was disgusted with the situation and wanted to get out of the saloon " Alright I'll keep him with me tonight and I'll bring him home in the morning."

" And just what am I supposed to tell Pa?" Hoss challenged.

" Use your head, just tell him he was sick, by tomorrow he will be. Tell Pa he's with me that way he won't worry about him. Help me get him upstairs will ya?"

Hoss finished his drink and wiped his hands on his trousers.

Then nonchalantly grabbed his younger brother and flung him over his shoulder.

Together they entered Adam's room and Hoss deposited Joe on his bed then turned to Adam.

" There you go big brother, he's all yours."

" Thanks a lot" Adam said with a wry grin " Tell Pa I'll bring him home in the morning. And you be careful going home there's no moon tonight."

" Hey don't worry none about me Adam, I can borrow a lantern from ole Lafe. You have fun, I'll see you tomorrow" Hoss said and with a grin and a wave he left the room.

Adam listened to his footsteps descending the stairs then turned his attention to his young brother. He moved to the foot of the bed and pulled Joe's boots off. He then sat him up and removed his coat, Joe came sluggishly awake.

" Where's Hoss?" he slurred.

Adam sat on the bed holding his arm " I sent Hoss home, you're gonna stay here tonight, with me. I'll go home with you in the morning" he explained.

Joe layed a limp hand on Adam's shoulder and said seriously " I'm glad you're coming home Adam cause I hate it when you go away."

" Yeah I know kid" Adam said patting his arm " Come on lay down now and go to sleep."

" You know Adam you gotta learn to laugh more, I mean I love ya and everything but you don't have any fun. Try to have more fun okay Adam?"

" Yeah okay I will, now go to sleep will ya."

Joe slumped down on the bed as soon as Adam let go of his arm and grew quiet.

Adam moved about the room in the silence which was broken by Joe's voice " I don't feel so good Adam."

Adam moved by the bed and looked down at Joe " Well I'm not surprised kid, you're probably gonna feel a lot worse before it's over."

Joe groaned and rolled over, the sounds muffled by the pillow he buried his face in.

Adam sat on the edge of the mattress and studied the back of his brother. He was thinking about what he'd said about fun and his lack of it. Why was it that Joe seemed so free to enjoy his life where Adam didn't. Adam picked at and worried about everything in his life, but Joe let the cards fall where they may. It was as if he knew that things would always be alright, he would always be taken care of one way or the other. He had a sense of security about his life that Adam himself had never known. When Joe groaned again Adam very nearly echoed it.

The brothers left the hotel room before dawn hoping to get home early enough to meet their father. But Joe had to make several stops, by the time they reached the ranch, the crew had already left.

" Well Joe you lucked out" Adam said dismounting and throwing a rein over the hitching post. Joe miserably slid from his horse and looked at his brother.

" Hey Adam would you do me a favor and put Cochise up for me, all I want to do is lay down now."

" Oh no you don't Joe, I'll take care of your horse but you're gonna get yourself together and go with me to camp to see Pa."

" Aww Adam come on, I'm too sick, please?"

Adam half smiled " Joe you might as well face Pa now and get it over with. Now go get yourself cleaned up and I'll make some coffee, I expect you're not very hungry."

Joe groaned again and wearily went inside, Adam shook his head and took the reins of his brother's horse and led them to the barn.

Later he entered the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. Finding the kindling low he went outside to get some to build the kitchen stove up. Hop Sing wouldn't be back until lunch so he figured he might as well fill the box for him.

As he was emptying his arms he heard footsteps from behind, he turned expecting to see Joe, only to find Dawson regarding him with hands on his hips.

" So the prodigal son returns" he said sarcastically Adam ignored him and finished filling the wood box, he felt the hair on his neck begin to tingle.

" You're still talking to people boy and you ain't gonna get anywhere. I'll tell you right now, no one has ever been able to prove anything. And besides your father wouldn't believe any thing you told him. He believes in me no matter what, so you're wasting your time."

Adam turned and faced the man " Am I? Well if I am then I'm sure you have no objections to my pursuing this little quest of mine, am I right?"

" You're real cocky aren't you boy? Well let me tell you something you wouldn't even be here if your father had his way. You're here because of a promise Ben made, a promise to your mother."

Adam slammed the coffee pot onto the stove and looked at Dawson with narrowed eyes " What are you talking about?"

" Oh I see Ben never told you about the promise, well that's understandable, of course he wouldn't want you to know."

Adam felt himself stepping into a trap " Shut up Dawson."

" Well I'm not afraid to tell you. He promised Elizabeth that he'd take you with him when he came out here. He wanted to leave you in Boston rather than have to look at you. You're nothing but a constant reminder of who killed his wife, you alone are responsible for her death and that's a painful truth he's been forced to live with."

Adam clenched his jaw until it hurt, he felt an overwhelming urge to attack Dawson but instead he walked out of the kitchen, brushing past Joe who was just entering the room. Joe watched Adam head for the door with Dawson on his tail.
 
" You thought you were so smart trying to dig things up didn't you boy? Well you want to dig things up look into that, ask people who knew your mother about that. I know, I was there and I saw what her death did to him, and just the sight of you makes me sick."

Adam slammed the door in Dawson's face and Joe rushed outside in time to see Adam lead his horse from the barn.

" Adam wait" he called but he was already galloping off Joe looked back at Dawson who was standing there with a sick grin on his face. Joe wanted to kill the man there and then.

" Don't even think about it boy, I can have you turned out just as easily as your brother. You wouldn't have a chance."
 
Adam sat alone in his misery at a table in the Bucket O Blood saloon, a mug of beer before him. He payed little attention to the people around him, until someone entered that caught his eye. Joe's friend Frank, the telegrapher came in and seemed to be looking for someone. Catching sight of Adam he came directly
toward him.

" Hi Frank, sit down and have a beer" Adam offered Frank cheerfully obliged as Adam motioned to one of the barmaids.

" Hey Adam you remember that telegram you sent to that judge down in Arizona territory, that Judge Benning fella?

" Yeah what about it?"

" Well you got an answer from him and he also says you'll be getting a letter as well from a young fella who also has an interest in this, something urgent" Frank said while digging in his pocket for the telegram.

" Well where are they?" Adam said impatiently.

" Well Adam I got the telegram right here, but you have to go on over to the post office and see if the letter come in."

Adam took the telegram from Frank and frowned " Sorry Frank I wasn't thinking, I'll check on that letter."

Adam scanned the telegram, his face changing expression several times as he read. When he finished he stood up abruptly and threw some money on the table.

" I gotta go Frank, thanks for the information" Adam said and hastily left the saloon.

Not long after Adam sat in his room and read the letter Frank had told him about. It was from a man named Tim Curtis, who as a boy had witnessed the murder of his father ten years before. As a child no one would listen to him, Dawson was prominent, with many friends in the area and no one would believe him capable of any wrong doing. They dismissed the boys story as a child's traumatic hysteria. For years he'd been searching for the man responsible for his father's death, Harry Dawson.

The young man was now putting all his effort into finding Dawson and people who could confirm and support his claims. People who themselves had been victims of Dawson's practices. And most importantly Curtis had the help of Judge Benning, who was gathering statements from people to assist him in his investigation of Dawson. It was simply good timing that Adam sent his letter when he did. This was just the information Adam needed, they would be coming for Dawson.

Feeling suddenly energized Adam left the hotel and walked to the Sheriff's office. Roy would need to be informed of the situation and would also be able to offer Adam some valuable support .

Sometime after noon he headed for the saloon where he was to meet his brothers for lunch. He entered the saloon and scanned the room, not seeing them he walked to the bar nodding at familiar faces and feeling a new excitement.

What can I get ya today Adam?"

Adam smiled at the bartender " Just a beer Sam, my brother's will be along any time now."

Sam filled a mug for him and slid it along the bar, Adam reached for it when an arm passed in front of him and lifted the glass. Adam turned his back to the bar to face the intruder.

" I understand you had a visit with the Sheriff Adam."

Adam looked Harry Dawson in the eye and smiled " That's right I did, and I've also received some very interesting correspondence from Arizona territory. Does the name Benning mean anything to you Dawson?"

Adam saw a flicker of what could've been fear in Dawson's eyes It gave him strength he hadn't felt before.

Dawson seemed to recover quickly " You don't scare me boy" he said but the man's eyes betrayed him.

" Well you should be scared Dawson, because you're time is running out."

Dawson recoiled and struck Adam squarely on the jaw and Adam tumbled backward. Dawson grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him to his feet and struck him several more times as patrons scrambled to get out of the way.

Adam was furious, he hated Dawson and yet he could not bring himself to lift a hand against him. He pulled himself up to the bar and clung to the side panting heavily " I'm not gonna fight you Dawson, when I beat you it's not gonna be like this. You can kill me here and now but they'll still come for you."

Dawson attacked him again and the beating intensified for what seemed an hour but which was only minutes. Adam was losing ground when he became aware of voices around him and people pulling Dawson off of him.

" Leave him alone Dawson, that boy ain't fighting you, you're gonna kill him."

Adam was vaguely aware of being pulled to his feet and set in a chair. He watched some of the local men yelling and driving Dawson from the saloon and away from him.

He couldn't hear what they were saying and his vision was hazy. There seemed to be a gray fog surrounding him when he recognized a voice next to him and a big hand gripped his shoulder.

" Come on Adam we're gonna get you over to Doc Martin's."

Adam reached out and gripped his brother's shirt " Hoss listen to me, don't say anything to Pa about this."

Adam's hand dropped and he heard the scrape of a chair next to him and Hoss' voice again.

" Look here Adam, Pa's been totally blind to Dawson and what he's doing, this is just the thing he needs to see to bring him around."

" No I don't want either one of you to say anything to him you hear me?" Adam insisted.

" But Adam why? He would've killed you if he hadn't been stopped."

Adam turned toward his youngest brother " Look I mean it Joe you can't tell him about this."

Adam pressed a sleeve to his lip and cheek and looked at the blurriness of blood on it.

" Listen fellas, you know Pa, he's real discernible, he has to have something real, something tangible that he can see for himself. And with just a little time, that's something I might have, but I need time. Dawson did this because he's afraid. The truth is catching up with him and he knows it. So I want you both to promise me that you won't say anything."

There was silence for several minutes, Hoss and Joe exchanged worried glances. Adam's head was pounding but he still waited for their promise. Both brothers grudgingly nodded at him and agreed to keep quiet.

" Thanks fellas, that means a lot to me" Adam said and then painfully rose " Alright now let's get over to the doc's and see if he can work his miracles."

The room began to sway but Adam quickly felt two arms go around his waist and with their support they left the saloon.

More than an hour later, after being stitched up and having his ribs taped, Adam asked to be taken back to his room. Doctor Martin looked at his patient.

" I don't know Adam, I'd really like to keep an eye on you."

" Look Doc, I'll be right here in town, Hoss and Joe will stay with me, I'll be just fine."

Doctor Martin studied the situation for a moment " Alright Adam, I'll make you up a sedative that I want you to take when you get back to the hotel and that way I know you'll rest for awhile. It'll not only help with the pain, but it will also help you sleep. I'll try to stop in later tonight to check on you and then again in the morning. You just relax while I talk to your brothers."

Adam watched him leave and was grateful he would at least be able to go back to his room. Hoss and Joe came in minutes later to escort him to the hotel. Once there Hoss got a pitcher of water and poured some in a glass, took the bottle and added a few drops of the medicine as the doctor had instructed him.

" There you go Adam drink up" Hoss said holding the glass out to him.

Adam took the glass and swallowed it down as quickly as possible and then held his breath for a few minutes waiting for the awful taste that didn't come. He looked up at the concerned faces of his brothers. With a smirk he turned to his youngest brother.

" That's the worst tasting stuff I've ever had, wanna try some Little Joe?"

Joe vehemently shook his head " No thanks older brother, it's all yours."

Hoss reached behind him to fluff up his pillows " Well I reckon you ought'a lie down now Adam and rest like the doc told ya."

" Yeah alright although I think it takes awhile for this stuff to work."

" Well don't you worry none about that, Little Joe and I will be downstairs so you have all the time in the world. We'll be up later to check on ya."

Joe was already leaving the room and after a wave and a smile Hoss joined him and quietly shut the door behind them.

Adam decided to make the best of it and tried to make himself comfortable, which wasn't an easy task. Any movement was painful and he couldn't relax, he finally ended up on his back. He closed his eyes and was just beginning to drift off when he became aware of voices just outside the door. He recognized the
voices of his brothers but there was another voice that compelled him up.

He had just managed an upright position when the door opened and Adam looked up into his father's face. Adam saw him wince and then his face flushed with anger.
" My God Adam what happened, who did this to you?"

Adam dropped his eyes and stared at the floor. Ben reached to tip his chin up but Adam jerked his head away. He didn't look up as Ben pulled a chair up across from him.

" Adam I think we need to talk."

Adam didn't answer and was thankful that his brothers were still standing outside the door.

" I don't really feel like it right now Pa."

Hoss stepped inside the room just then " Pa the doc gave him some medicine so that he'd rest."

" Would you boys excuse us for a minute?" Ben said looking at his two younger sons leaving no room for discussion.

Hoss mumbled " Yes sir" and hustled Joe from the room.

Both men listened to their footsteps go down the stairs.

Adam averted his eyes when he caught his father staring at him.

" Look son, I know you're not feeling up to it now but the fact remains we do need to talk. Since Harry's arrival we've drifted further and further apart and I don't even understand why. I know you don't like him but that hardly seems reason enough for you to isolate yourself from the family."

Adam looked up then " I haven't done that" he said.

" No I guess you haven't that's true, I guess what I should have said was, you've isolated yourself from me."

Ben stared at his son, wishing he knew how to reach him.

" Well we can talk about this later I expect you're gonna need some time to recuperate. I'll get your things together and we'll get you home."

" Home? I'm not going home, I'll stay right here if you don't mind."

Ben frowned unhappily " Adam please, I'm in no mood to argue I'm not leaving you here in your condition. Now I want you to come home and we'll talk later."

Adam stood up angrily " Pa I already told you I'm not going home and I'm not leaving this room so you might as well go."

Adam moved toward the door and suddenly staggered, he would've fallen if his father hadn't grabbed his arm and guided him back to the bed.

" Stay here" Ben demanded and then he was gone. Adam wondered at his inability to get up and the strange floating sensation that seemed to consume him. He layed back on the bed and tried closing his eyes but that made him feel worse.

He heard people come in the room and his father's voice seemed to echo as he said " Get his things together Hoss and we'll get him home."

Adam wanted to protest but he couldn't make his mouth work and then decided to give up the fight.

When Adam woke it didn't take him long to recognize his own room and he groaned out loud. He tried to roll over but he couldn't seem to manage it. He wondered what time it was, the room was dim and he thought it might be the effects of the sedative. He was cold and thought about getting up to check the window but he knew he would never make it.

He wanted a drink but couldn't even rise up enough to manage that. He knew what he wanted to do but it was as if he couldn't get his body to respond. He looked at the lantern burning low and listened for any other sounds in the house. If he could only get up and figure things out.

A flood of light filled the room as the door was pushed open and Adam looked up at his father. Ben sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on his forehead.

" How you feeling son?" he asked, his voice sounding horribly distorted.

Adam opened his mouth to speak " Wa..wa" he couldn't make the right sounds.

" You want water?" Ben asked.

Adam gave a feeble nod, at least he could still get through to his father. Ben supported his head and held a glass to his lips as Adam took a swallow. Then helped him lie back down and wiped the water from his mouth.

" I....can't talk....." Adam slurred.

" It's alright son, it's just the medicine, just rest now."

" Pa...... I'm sorry" Adam said and then wondered what he was sorry for.

" Ben grasped his hand, it felt strange to Adam " It's alright we'll talk later. Are you having any pain now?"

Adam shook his head he couldn't feel much of anything.

" I'm... cold" Adam added almost as an afterthought " Can you .. close the window?"

Ben looked toward the window " It's not open son, I'll build up the fire in here and get you another blanket" he said and hurried from the room.

By the time he returned Adam felt completely detached from himself, even his father seemed to be floating around him. It was an awful sensation so he closed his eyes from it.

He couldn't tell how long he'd slept but the room was totally dark when sharp pains brought him awake. He tried to move to alleviate the pain but it just got worse. He looked at the bottle of medicine on the nightstand then looked away. He didn't like the way the medicine made him feel.

Adam closed his eyes trying to will the discomfort away, when he opened them again he saw Dawson looming over him. He stared horrified at the hated man, who seemed to be without a body. He quickly shut his eyes again. He started breathing heavily and tried to move away, waves of pain assaulted his body He felt someone grab him by the arm and he swung frantically to rid himself of the grasp until he heard his father's voice. He fearfully opened his eyes.

Ben held his forearms lightly now " Adam it's alright you're safe at home, it's alright."

Adam felt as if his chest was on fire, he couldn't seem to get his breathing under control " He was here, he was going to kill me" he gasped.

" Adam, there's no one here you must've had a bad dream."

Adam continued to stare at his father, his eyes wide with fear Ben could not imagine what had frightened him so and was distressed to see him so shaken. Adam was not even aware that he was holding so tightly to his father's arms.

" Adam listen to me, you need to lay down alright? I'm gonna stay right here while you get some sleep."

Ben helped him lie down again watching his face closely.

" Do you want some more medicine for the pain son?"

Adam shook his head, the action making him feel sick all over again " No I don't want no more of that stuff."

" I know it's unpleasant son, but if it helps with the pain."

" I'm not in a lot of pain Pa, I'm fine" Adam lied and turned his head away.

Ben sat down near the bed and sighed, he knew Adam would wait now until it was unbearable, it would be a long night.

Ben ended up giving Adam two more doses of the medicine before the night was over. Even then Adam insisted he didn't need it and Ben cursed his stubbornness.

By morning Adam was sleeping quietly as Ben still sat close by, fighting to keep his eyes open.

He nearly jumped from his skin when Hoss came up behind him and spoke to him.

" Pa why don't you take a break and get some breakfast?"

Ben recovered and looked up at his son " I don't know Hoss he's been real uneasy all night, the medicine is really got him out of sorts."

" Pa I can handle things go on now" Hoss insisted.

" Hoss what happened? What's going on with him?" he asked keeping his eyes on Adam.

Hoss sighed and sat down " Pa I reckon you ought'a talk to Adam about that, it ain't my place to say anything."

" Did Harry do this to him, I haven't seen him since it happened and I have a real bad feeling about it."

" Well sir like I said you need to talk to Adam, I reckon it's over due for both of you."

Ben looked at Hoss again and then seemed to come to a conclusion "You're right son and I will. I'm going to get myself some coffee right now and perhaps something to eat."

Ben stood up and stretched his arms, his hands went to his aching back too.
 
" Now you call me if he wakes up alright?"

" Yes sir I will, Hop Sing is making him up some kind of special tea too, that ought'a make him feel better."

Ben nodded and left the room as Hoss sat back and made himself comfortable.

It was nearly afternoon when Adam finally came awake again, he took several minutes to get his eyes focused and then they went around the room searching.

" Well hello there, welcome back" Ben said relieved.

" Hi.." Adam rasped.

" Well I must say you're looking a little better, how do you feel?"

Adam thought about that, his ribs were a dull ache, there were places that hurt to a lesser degree. But for the first time he realized none of it was unbearable and for the first time everything seemed clear.
 
" I feel......tired I suppose."

" Well that's understandable you've been through the wringer so to speak these last couple days. You think you could eat something if I help you sit up?"

Adam hesitated his stomach hurt but he wasn't sure if it was lack of food, or the thought of it. And he wondered if movement would set him back completely.

" Adam if it makes you uncomfortable we'll wait a while" Ben assured him, reading his expressions.

" I'll try Pa" Adam said and managed a small smile.

Ben stood up, his face flushed with pleasure " That's wonderful son, I'll tell Hop Sing to heat up that tea he's been saving for you. Now don't you move until I get back.

Later, after Adam had finished the tea, Ben sat across from him after helping him settle back against the pillows. Adam felt stabs of pain across his chest now and then but said nothing. He just bit his lip and waited for it to pass.

" Do you feel like talking?" Ben asked him.

Adam kept his glance downward and shrugged his shoulders lightly.

" Adam could you just tell me one thing, did Harry do this to you?"

There it was, Adam knew if he said yes Ben would run him off the place and he would never be welcomed back. At the same time he knew he couldn't say yes, not now. Not when there were other people's pain at stake.

Adam couldn't bear to say it, he shook his head.

" Well what happened then?"

Adam looked up " It was a dumb fight that's all, some fella wasn't happy about me winning his money. What I didn't realize was that he had several friends with him."

Ben's face was full of doubt " Why did you leave without talking to me first?"

" Look Pa, Dawson is your friend and I just don't want to get in the way."

" What does that mean, why in the world would you be in the way? Adam this is your home, I don't want you to feel you have to leave, if you would just tell me what he's done."

There was an agonizing silence and Ben watched the resolve melting away " Adam please...I'm right here, talk to me please."

" Pa....." Adam hedged, he couldn't let Dawson slip away from his grasp now, yet maybe he could tell him some of it. Maybe he could make his father understand.

They were interrupted by a loud rap on the door " Pa, Dawson's here and he wants to see you, something about a real estate transaction" Hoss said through the door.
Adam's eyes went to his father's " What real estate transaction?"

" Oh I'd forgotten, I wanted to see if maybe Peck would be willing to sell his farm now. You know I've been trying to buy that place from him for years. I figured with his recent good fortune we may be able to do business now."

" You don't have him involved in this do you?" Adam said looking toward the door.

Ben gave him a sympathetic smile " Adam he's my friend, I trust him."

Adam held his father's eyes, he ached to tell him everything he knew, but he couldn't.

" Adam are you sure there isn't something you haven't told me?"

Adam shook his head and dropped his eyes.

" Son look at me" Ben said softly.

" I don't want to " Adam answered almost inaudibly. To Ben it sounded so childlike that he couldn't help but smile. He sat next to his son and put an arm around his shoulder.

" Son please, just tell me what's happening. Tell me what I've done or have failed to do, please."

" It's not you Pa, it was never you, I want you to know that."

" Ben are you coming?" Dawson called from the other side of the door.

Adam bristled he knew Dawson had been listening the whole time.

" I'll be right there Harry" Ben answered then turned his attention to Adam " Listen to me, I want you to promise that you'll stay in bed today."

Adam looked up then and nodded " I will, I don't think I could get up if I wanted to Pa."

Ben sighed heavily, resigned he stood up to help Adam get comfortable then stood over the bed to regard him.

" Son if you told me to, I'd ask him to leave. I'd do whatever you asked of me, you know that."

Adam's heart filled with confusing emotions, he didn't know what to say.

" Well you think about that" Ben said pulling the quilt up over his shoulders " Just rest now I'll be back by tonight."

Adam was awake that evening when his father returned, he forced himself to sit up though he was having considerable pain. He waited knowing his father would come up first before he did anything else, and he did.

He stood beside the bed within minutes, still wearing his heavy coat.

" It's mighty cold today, a hint of snow in the air. How are you feeling young man?"

" I'm fine Pa" Adam assured him but Ben placed a hand on his forehead.

" You feel a little warm to me, how's the pain?"

" My chest hurts some but not too badly."

Ben looked at the nightstand " Did you take any medicine today?"

Adam shook his head, he didn't have to tell Ben how he hated the stuff.

" Maybe you should son, it will help you sleep. Have you eaten anything today?"

" Yeah Hop Sing's been taking good care of me, just about drowning me with that tea of his" He smiled then " It does help my stomach though."

" Why don't we just give you a little of the medicine, just to take the edge off."

" Alright but not much, just a couple drops."

Ben added the drops to water and handed it to him, watching as he emptied the glass. Then set down the glass and sat down.

" How'd things go with Mr. Peck?" Adam asked him.

" Well he's planning to move to Sacramento, unfortunately he's giving the farm to his daughter and her husband, they just recently got married and he thought it would be a perfect place for them to raise a family. You know it's funny the bugger said he'd strike it someday and I'll be doggoned if he didn't" Ben said with a chuckle of admiration " Well anyway I told him no matter and wished he and his family the best."

Adam nodded absently only half listening now.

" You know it's strange but Harry wanted to pursue it, he seemed almost angry at me for letting it go so easily " Ben said with a bewildered shake of his head.

Adam felt his heart start to race as his head came up and he looked at his father who seemed totally unconcerned.

It was a few days before Adam was on his feet and free to move around but he'd been forbidden to leave home for awhile, which was not a problem for Adam who didn't quite feel ready to sit a horse. What was a problem was keeping himself busy while the others were gone all day.

On a wet, rainy day Adam sat in the tack room oiling saddles and bridles and other gear when his father rode up to the barn He put his buckskin in it's stall and stripped off the tack, after giving him a portion of grain. He came to stand outside the door to the tack room.

" Well how are you doing Adam?"

" Just fine Pa, I'm having tons of fun" Adam said sarcastically.

" Well it won't be much longer, I thought I'd come home and have lunch with you, what d'ya say son?"

Adam brightened a bit " That would be great Pa."

" Well alright then let me tell Hop Sing I'm here, would you like me to bring you some coffee, it's a little chilly out here?"

" Yeah sure Pa" Adam said with a smile.

Ben walked off with a spring in his step and it made Adam feel good to see him in such a good mood. He hung up the handful of bridles he'd held on his lap, and took down a saddle. He made himself comfortable and picked up the rag he'd been using. He was so engrossed in what he was doing he didn't know he had
company until he heard a voice above him.

" Well, well what have we here?" Dawson sneered.

Adam glared, he stood up and attempted to leave, but Dawson grabbed his arm " Where do you think you're going boy?"

" Stay away from me Dawson, go back under the rock you crawled out of and leave me alone."

" You watch your mouth boy or I'll give you a beating ten times worse than the last one, you got that?"

Adam paled just as a shadow fell on them, he felt weak when he looked up and saw his father standing there, one look told him all he needed to know, he'd heard.

" Why Ben, there you are, Adam and I were just talking."

" You pack your things and get off this place right now and don't ever come back" Ben said his face darkened with anger.
 
Adam felt a trembling begin in his stomach that he couldn't seem to stop.

" But Ben...... I " Dawson tried but Ben cut him off.

" Harry you better walk out of here while you can" he warned Adam looked at Dawson and then looked away and stumbled toward the saddle racks and sat down.

" Ben please we're friends, more than thirty years Ben, you can't mean it."

" Go now" Ben said the rage in his heart making it difficult to speak " And if you ever touch my son again so help me I'll kill you, now get out of here."

Dawson opened his mouth to plead his case further then changed his mind and hastily left.

It took Ben several deep breaths to calm himself before he could face Adam. He kneeled before him finding him visibly shaken and put a hand on his knee.

"Adam - why didn't you tell me?" His head dropped in shame.

" No maybe you did try to tell me and I just didn't listen" he sighed and shook his head " Adam I'm sorry, I should've known what was happening, I'm sorry."

Adam could only manage a shrug for the moment.

" I still don't understand why he would want to hurt you though."

" He hates me" Adam muttered " He hates me because I know the truth about him. All those stories we heard Pa, they're true they're all true, he's no good. He doesn't care about you, I don't think he cares about anyone. It's power and money that he cares about and he's gonna end up left with nothing."

" Not even a friend" Ben said solemnly.

Adam looked up and felt a deep regret for his father " I'm sorry Pa, I didn't want you to know."

Ben shook his head " You should have told me, I never would have allowed him to stay if I'd known. I don't want you to ever eep something like that from me ever again, you understand?"

Adam nodded " Sorry Pa" His sense of relief was quickly replaced with dread " Pa I need to ask you something."

Ben looked at him expectantly " Yes what is it?"

" Well .... was Dawson around when you met my mother?"

Ben sat down on one of the crates and looked thoughtful " Well he wasn't necessarily around, but I did know him for several years before that."

" Then he knew her?"

Ben turned and studied Adam's earnest face " Yes he did know her. Why are you asking me this?"

Adam shook his head slowly " No reason I suppose I was just wondering what she'd think of him now."

" Well I would imagine about the same thing I'm thinking, where did he go wrong? But at least now I know the truth, I'm sorry I didn't see it on my own."

Adam didn't respond, he was biting his lip in concentration.

Ben sensed there was more.

" No more secrets right?"

Adam pasted on a smile and looked up " Right, I promise no more secrets."

Adam stood at the counter of the mercantile checking the items in the crates against the list in his hand.

" Hey Adam do me a favor and tell that Dawson fella his order came in and he can pick it up anytime" the storeowner said.

" He's not out at our place anymore Will, I thought he'd moved on."

" Why he was just here yesterday checking in, I hope he aint gone cause I sure am skittish about keeping this stuff. Why if we ever had a fire in here that ......"

" What kind of stuff?" Adam asked curiously.

" Dynamite, I reckon he's gonna be doing some blastin' here abouts."

Adam felt a coldness in the pit of his stomach " Well why don't you give it to me Will and I'll see that he gets it?"

" Now Adam you know I can't do that, besides you just got done telling me he ain't out at your place no more."

Adam hesitated he sensed that his family might be in danger, but he knew the store owner wouldn't budge either. He stacked the crates and smiled " Thanks anyway Will, I'll see you around."

After loading them on the buckboard he made his way to The International House and approached the front desk.

" Hi Tom, how are you? " he called to the clerk.

" Why howdy Adam, I'm good, how's the family?"

" Fine Tom, everybody's fine. Listen can you tell me if Dawson is here?"

" Why he sure is Adam, I hear tell he and your Pa had a falling out of sorts. But he told me that he and your Pa would work it out. He said he was gonna get the land your Pa's been wanting and then your Pa would come around."

Adam turned and left the building and broke into a run when he got to the street.

Adam reached the Peck homestead and found the old man just coming in from the barn. Peck glowered suspiciously when he saw Adam.

" Now see here Adam Cartwright I already told your Paw I aint' selling this place. I've signed the deed over to my daughter and her new husband so your just wasting your time if you're thinking you're gonna change my mind."

Peck ranted on while walking to the house and in the back door. Adam stopped outside the door bracing himself against the frame.

" Mr. Peck listen to me, I'm not here about the farm. But there is someone who will try to take if from you. What I'm saying is you are in grave danger, it might be best if you moved into town for awhile. At least until Roy and I can get a judge here from Arizona territory to extradite him back to face charges brought against him."
" Who you talking about Adam?" Peck asked squinting up at him.

" Dawson, Harry Dawson."

" Ain't that your Paw's friend?"

Adam faltered for a moment " Yes sir he is, or was, they sort've had a falling out. Look that's what this is about in a matter of speaking. You have to trust me Mr. Peck it's not safe here he might try anything, please."

"Why should I trust you young Cartwright?"

Adam gave an exasperated sigh " Because Mr. Peck, I'm my father's son."

Peck considered this as he studied Adam's anxious face, still wearing signs of a recent fight.

" Did you win?" he asked.

Adam gaped " What?"

" The fight boy, did you win?"

Adam shook the confusion from his mind " No sir I didn't."

" Yeah I figured that just a looking at ya" he said and turned his back " What d'ya want me to do Adam?"

Adam felt a great sense of relief " Just stay in town for awhile that's all. I'm almost sure he's planning to come out here, probably to threaten you ...... or worse."

" And I'm supposed to let him just run me off my own place right?"

" It isn't like that Mr. Peck, this man is unstable, he's not some one you could reason with."

Adam held his breath while Peck mulled the thought over in his mind.

" Waal I reckon I can do that, I was supposed to meet my daughter and son-in-law in town tomorrow anyway."

" Good you go ahead and pack some things and I'll ride with you , I want to see the Sheriff anyway."

" You wait just a minute and I'll be right back" Peck said and he hurried into the house.

Adam followed him inside and went to the front room to look out the window into the front yard. Not seeing anything he began to pace nervously. He tried to work out in his mind what Dawson might be up to. If only Judge Benning could get there before Dawson did anything or got the chance to leave town. Although
Adam thought he would've been smarter if he'd left town The sound of galloping hooves caught his attention and he rushed back to the window.

" Peck get in here quick, he's here" he shouted urgently Peck came up behind him " Look you go out and see what he wants, don't tell him I'm here. I'll cover you, make out like you're hard of hearing so I can listen to what he's saying to you alright."

Peck nodded looking a little apprehensive as he put his carpet bag down and went out the front door.

Adam pulled his gun from the holster and peered out from behind the curtain, he could feel his pulse racing.

" Well Mr. Peck how are you?" Dawson called.

" What d'ya want Dawson, what are you doing here?"

" Well Mr. Peck I want to give you a chance to sell this land to me."

Peck gave a short laugh " I ain't selling this land to you or anyone else, I've already turned the deed over to my family. So quit wasting your time and get off my land Dawson" Peck said and started walking away, he stopped when he heard the click of a gun being cocked.

Adam quickly pulled the hammer back on his own gun and tensed for action.

" Look Peck I'm giving you a chance to do the right thing here" Dawson said, the warning clear in his voice.

" Peck turned " What are you gonna do, kill me? Well you go ahead Dawson cuz Adam Cartwright is right behind that window and he'll pick you off faster than you can blink, so you go right ahead and shoot."

Adam cringed as he stayed ready to spring into action if he had to. He saw the fury in Dawson's face as he holstered his gun and galloped off.

Peck came in wearing a satisfied smile.

" What'd you tell him I was here for, I told you not to?" Adam said irritably.

" Yeah well if I'd done what you said he'd of shot me in the back and you know it."

Adam was about to spew off again when he heard a horse approaching again and then the window shattered in front of them. Adam moved toward the window with his gun drawn and watched Dawson gallop away, at that moment he heard a hissing sound. He followed the sound until he located the dynamite on the parlor
floor.

" Peck get out now" he shouted as the house exploded around him.

Ben and Joe were riding along the ridge of the southern edge of the ranch, having just moved the main herd to winter pasture. They were on their way home when they heard the explosion that shook the ground underneath them.

" What was that?" Joe exclaimed trying to steady his horse now sidestepping nervously.

" Who the heck would be blasting down there?" Ben said warily.

Father and son looked at each other.

" It sounded like it came from old man Peck's place Pa" Joe stated looking in the direction the sound had come from.

" Come on Joseph, let's go see what happened" Ben said reining his horse down the slope and into a full gallop while Joe fell in behind him.

" Ben pulled his horse up short when the devastation of Peck's house came into view.

" Dear God" he whispered as he pressed his horse toward what was left of the house.

Coming to a stop he slowly dismounted and looked all around him. There was wood and glass everywhere and a further scan showed him the remains of a buckboard and the body of a horse.

" I hope by the grace of God he isn't in there" Ben said stunned by the scene before him. Joe came up alongside, his mouth open. Joe eventually caught sight of the horse and his heart stopped. He jumped from his own horse and slowly knelt down to the fallen gelding and stroked his neck.

" Pa" he choked out " This is Willie, I'd know him anywhere."

Ben looked at what was left of the buckboard looking for any clues. Joe got to his feet feeling quite sick.

" Pa.... Pa Adam took him out this morning to pick up supplies in town."

Ben had been examining the contents of the crates and he looked up aghast.

" Are you sure?"

Joe nodded and the two of them looked toward the house at the same time.

Joe broke into a dead run with Ben close behind. Ben froze, trying to think, he didn't know where to look.

" Pa come quick" Joe shouted " It's Mr. Peck."

Ben rushed to his side just as Joe was standing up.

" He's dead Pa."

Ben's face turned white and he silently went back to searching the rubble of the house. Joe stood paralyzed, panic was setting in, he couldn't look.

" Joseph help me" Ben shouted Joe snapped out of it and began sifting through the debris. It was nerve wracking and neither man took a breath, it was like walking on eggshells. Joe suddenly saw red fabric below his feet and he dropped to his knees. He saw a hand underneath him about five feet down, shaking within he
dug boards and other debris out of the way and saw Adam's black hair with a sickly red flowing from the back of his head.

" Pa" Joe cried with unmistakable panic in his voice. Ben rushed over and flew into action pulling all he could out of the way with his bare hands. There were too many heavy beams blocking the way and he could not move them. He took off his coat and made his way down to his son.

" He's alive" Ben shouted up at Joe.

" Thank God he's alive, Joseph hand me down your coat and your neckerchief, he's bleeding badly hurry now."

Joe moved quickly but he didn't watch, he couldn't.

" Joseph listen to me" Ben called up to him " Ride up to the south ridge and see if Hoss and the others are still there. You find them and bring them back here as quickly as you can."

Joe was gone before Ben finished the sentence, he turned his attention back to Adam. He knew he needed to get down closer to him. He braced his back and pushed one of the timbers with his legs, feeling fragments fall over him as everything around him shifted. He managed to inch it over enough so that he could get
further down. It was terribly cramped but he didn't care as he moved in next to his son. It was difficult to do anything as Adam was on his side and buried by debris from the waist down Ben felt tears of frustration, he couldn't do anything alone.

He tried to figure out what had happened, had Adam come upon a fool hardy project of Peck's he wondered He reached out and took Adam's hand, it felt ice cold to him. He reached to check his pulse, it took several tries and it was very faint.

" You listen to me Adam and you listen good, I don't want you giving up on us you hear me?" Ben said forcefully ignoring the sense of panic that was threatening to overtake him. He looked up at the sky above him and saw the little puffs of smoke his breath was making. It was then he realized the temperature was
dropping, it would be dark in just a few hours.

All at once Hoss was above him, calling to him " Pa hang on we're gonna get him out. Little Joe rode for the doctor, you just stay there with him Pa and we'll get you out real quick like."

Ben then heard Hoss issuing instructions to the men that had come with him and he felt a small wave of pride. Hoss was calm and precise and it gave Ben a flicker of hope that had been fading. He listened to the men working overhead and prayed for them to hurry. Hoss appeared over him again within minutes.

" Look here Pa, we can't move those beams, they're too big so I reckon we'll have to cut them" he explained " Take this here coat of mine and put it over him Pa nd if any of this stuff starts falling you holler alright?" he said as he dropped the coat down.

Ben grabbed at it and layed it over Adam then hollered back up at Hoss " Alright son, you be careful now."

" Yes sir I will, just hold on a little longer Pa."

Ben removed his own coat to cover Adam further, he felt instantly chilled. He took Adam's hands in his own and rubbed them fiercely, his mind screamed " Hurry, hurry, please hurry."

He was unaware of how much time passed when Joe appeared above him " Pa, the Doc's here, hang on he's coming down."

Paul Martin squeezed down into the tight space and put a hand to Adam's neck. He grimaced when he saw the blueness around Adam's lips.

" We have to get him out of here now" he said grimly " I need some room Ben you're gonna have to go back up."

Paul moved into Ben's spot and tried to examine his patient. He was sure his ribs were rebroken but he knew there was more serious damage too. He tried to move more debris out of the way when he noticed the change in Adam's breathing, he felt for a pulse.

" Ben get down here" he called realizing the cause of Adam's sudden decline.

Ben came back down into the tight space his face etched with concern " What is it Paul?"

" You stay with him" was all he said.

Adam came awake to probing, painful hands and strange noises. His senses were assaulted with cold and a terrifying sound that he soon realized he himself was making. He tried to stop but he didn't seem to be in control of himself. Somewhere in the depths of his despair he heard something that made sense and he reached
for it with his heart and soul.

" Pa.... help me" he said.

Ben frantically moved closer " Adam it's alright I'm here, we're all here and we're gonna get you out."

" What happened, where am I? Oh God it hurts Pa" he cried through waves of white hot pain. He couldn't seem to catch his breath and it frightened him.

" I don't know what happened son, Joseph and I heard an explosion and we found you here" Ben explained.

The memory of what had happened flooded back in and Adam felt the pain squeezing him, he had to tell them what happened.

" Pa..... it was Dawson Pa...... dynamite. Oh God where's Mr. Peck, is he alright?" Adam said trying to talk between gasps for air.

" Everything's alright son, just hold on we're gonna get you out of here real soon" Ben assured him.

Adam tried to deal with the pain as he always had, if he ignored it, it would go away. When that didn't work he began to panic. This was different, it had no beginning or end and left little chance to breathe properly, it was a suffocating sensation.

The doctor climbed out to address the men up top.

" We have to get him out quickly we're losing daylight and the temperature is still dropping. The men were exhausted but the merely nodded and went back to cutting. It seemed hours before the men were at the same level and moving the debris away from Adam, digging him out.

" Ben you keep him talking and keep him with us, do not let him stop talking. If he goes into shock now we'll lose him, just keep talking to him."

Adam was just beginning to float away from the agony of reality when he heard his father calling him back, he did not want to respond, to return to the awful truth.

His mind was replaying a thousand different images and sounds at once and he could not discern what was really happening and what imaginary. The only thing he was sure of was pain that he could not escape or ignore. And he cried out for mercy,someone to stop the whirlwind that was around him.

" My God Paul he's suffering can't you give him something for the pain" Ben asked desperately.

" No I can't, until we get him out of here that pain is the only way I know what's going on with him. Just keep talking to him" Paul told him.

Daylight faded and lanterns were handed down when Adam was finally freed and a board was handed down to carry him out with. He was quickly surrounded by hands that lifted him onto the board and out of the house while he cried out in protest.

Once on the buckboard Doctor Martin tried to prioritize his injuries before moving him. While Ben sat in the wagon holding on to his son. Joe came riding up alongside the buckboard.

" How is he?" he breathed leaning over to see his brother.

"He's gonna be fine son, just fine."

" Pa Sheriff Coffee picked up Dawson and he's holding him for the murder, I just thought you should know he didn't get away."

Ben said nothing, he was too overwhelmed to know what to say. This was not the kind of thing he would have ever wished for Harry. He had cared deeply for his friend and it had come to this. He looked down at the face of his son who struggled for air and his heart turned cold. All he could think was, why?

Finally the wagon took them home and Doctor Martin disappeared into Adam's room and did not reappear until late the following afternoon. No one had slept or dared to speak, they all waited.

When Doctor Martin came down he looked at Adam's family and shook his head " I don't know, we have to wait now. It will be up to him" the good doctor sat down wearily and put his head in his hands.

" Paul can I see him now?" Ben asked hopefully.

Paul looked up and smiled slightly " Just for a minute Ben, I'll come with you."

Ben looked at his sons and went quietly up the stairs with Paul on his heels. To the surprise of both men Adam was awake and looking around the room, his eyes were wide.

" Adam" the doctor said taking his hand " I'm gonna give you something for the pain in a minute alright. I want you to do some things for me first and then I'll let you rest."

Ben watched Doctor Martin issue small requests of Adam and turned away from the anguish on Adam's face. When the cries stopped he turned back toward the bed and sat beside Adam, now breathing heavily and shaking all over.

" I'm sorry Ben I had to make sure he hadn't suffered injury to his spinal cord, I couldn't be sure until he woke up, he'll sleep now."

" What did you give him?" Ben asked concerned.

" Morphine, it's pretty powerful but he's gonna need it awhile. I'll go downstairs now, just a few minutes Ben."

Paul left them alone and Ben awkwardly put his arms around Adam to calm his own fears more than anything. When he looked at Adam's face, he seemed unaware of Ben's presence.

" Adam are you in pain?" Ben asked him, disturbed by the vacancy in his eyes.

Adam looked at him then " Pa, I'm sorry, I didn't want her to die. I'd do anything to bring her back if I could I'd trade with her Pa I'm so sorry."

Ben swallowed hard and stared, what was he saying?

" Adam you have nothing to be sorry for, it wasn't your fault, do you understand?" Ben thought maybe in his confusion.

Adam was blaming himself for what happened to Peck and was thinking about his daughter too.

Adam had a sensation of the pain being washed away like a wave of water and then there was peace and he closed his eyes and went with it.

But Adam still knew that his suffering must be his punishment for the death of his mother, just like Dawson said, he alone was responsible.

Several things happened while Adam recovered from his injuries. A date was determined for Dawson's trial, Adam was questioned by Sheriff Coffee and also met with Judge Benning, and US Marshall Parker who came to town to take Dawson back to Arizona territory but instead found himself caught up in a murder
case.

The second visit Adam got was from Tim Curtis. Ben was concerned at the toll it seemed to take on him. Adam knew he would be testifying at the trial and seemed deeply disturbed by it. He was watched closely by his father, since the accident and Ben kept him close by. He noticed that Adam became jittery and
nervous as the date of the trial approached.

When the trial was two days away Adam became nearly unbearable to live with. His brothers did their best to ignore his outbursts and his insistence that things be done his way. He seemed to be working out some kind of deep anger and they left him alone.

That night while the others slept, Adam agonized over the upcoming trial, he knew in his heart that he'd lost his nerve and would not be able to go through with it. And his mind was on the people who were counting on him.

Ben woke late in the night and found him sitting in chair in is room staring out into the darkness as if life's answers would be found there.

Ben sat on the bed watching him and then softly said his name Adam turned and then rose from the chair.

" I know it's late I hope I didn't wake you. I tried to move about quietly."

" Oh no it wasn't that, I guess I was having trouble sleeping myself" Ben assured him.

Adam sat down on the bed "I'm sorry about all this, about your friend, about all that's happened" he said.

" Adam are you thinking that I'm blaming you somehow for Harry? Because I'm not you know."

" He was your friend, for a lifetime."

Ben nodded slowly, he could almost see himself and Harry as boys in Boston " Yes, he was my friend, but friend or no, he went wrong Adam and now he has to come face to face with what he's done."

" I am the one person that can take away his life, that's nothing you ever taught us to be proud of."

Ben put an arm around his shoulder " Adam listen to me, he hurt a lot of people, he very nearly killed you. You know what has to happen now."

Adam felt tired so very tired, why was it always up to him to do the right thing?

" I know Pa, Tim is counting on me, just like all the others but...... I'm not sure I can do it."

Ben was flabbergasted " What do you mean, why not?"

How could he explain to his father, how could he have it make sense to himself? All he knew was that he couldn't go into that courtroom and face Dawson.

" Adam if you don't testify then he may very well get away with what he did. And not just to you either, do you really want him to have the opportunity to hurt anyone else?"

Adam stood up angrily " Of course not all I'm saying is...... is maybe I don't really remember what happened out there."

" Since when?" his father said skeptically, he'd sat next to Adam the day he'd recounted the whole story to Roy.

" Look Adam, all I'm gonna say is the outcome of this trial will be up to your testimony, you were the only eye witness to what happened to Mr. Peck."

Adam sat down again " Yeah I'm perfectly aware of that Pa."

" Well there's no sense losing sleep over it, you need to get your rest."

" I can't sleep, just leave me be. Don't worry you'll get a full day's work out of me tomorrow as always."

Ben shook his head and stood " Adam come on no arguments now lay down and try to sleep."

Adam threw himself on the bed face down, brought his arms up and layed his head on them. He couldn't make anyone understand what he was feeling, they'd simply expect him to do what they wanted.

He felt the bed sink down as his father sat next to him and began rubbing his back " Adam I know you've had a rough time but before you know it all this unpleasantness will be behind us and forgotten."

Adam sighed and turned his head away, it was no use. He tried closing his eyes although he knew sleep wouldn't come. He listened to the ticking of the clock in the hallway.

" Remember when you were a boy and you couldn't sleep? Remember what we used to do?"

" I'm not a kid Pa, it doesn't work anymore" Adam said irritably.

" Now how do you know unless you try? Close your eyes now and let's give it a try."

" Pa please...."

" Come on close your eyes" Ben said again.

Adam did and forced himself to relax, he concentrated on his father's voice.

" Okay you're on a clipper ship,skimming across the warm ocean waters, where are you going?" Ben said making his voice nearly a whisper.

There was no answer from Adam and Ben thought maybe he was just going to ignore him, then " Europe, the sun is bright and sea is calm."

Ben smiled, Europe. Adam often talked of traveling to Europe, so much he wanted to see.

" You can hear the cry of the seagulls and the smell of the saltwater, and the rocking of the ship from the swell of water that's lapping against the side of her."

" And the groaning and creaking sounds that she makes as she pushes through the waves" Adam added his voice sounding just a little hoarser, thicker.

Ben continued to describe an experience he knew well and in Adam's mind it became real, he felt the movement as well as all the other things that assaulted the senses at sea.

He'd only sailed a few times with his father when he was very small, but he could remember the wonder of it. How fulfilling it had been to stand next to his father at the helm and look out over the green waters that splashed foam onto the deck and then slid off and away. It didn't take long for his dreams to take shape and pull him in, so softly that he was not aware of it.

Ben heard the difference in his breathing and felt the rise and fall of his son's back, he even felt the tension disappear beneath his hand and he smiled to himself.

Adam stood before his dresser fumbling with the stringtie at his neck. He didn't even know why he was wearing it, this was not reason to celebrate, he should instead be dressing for the morbid day that it was. He let the tie fall around his neck and frowned at himself in the looking glass. It was not going to be a good day and he knew it. Too many people were counting on him today and he didn't like it.

" Adam you coming, breakfast is getting cold?" His father hollered up the stairs.

Adam continued to regard himself in the mirror then turned away.

" Yeah I'll be right down" he answered and pulled his jacket from the back of the chair and strode out the door of his room and down the stairs.

He felt a certain discomfort as four sets of eyes watched him take his place at the table. He looked up at his father's drawn face and saw Hop Sing standing beside his chair.

" You keep family waiting long time, you ready eat now?" Hop Sing wanted to know, obviously annoyed.

" Yeah I'm ready Hop Sing, I'm sorry" Adam said as his eyes went around the table.

Hop Sing grunted his disapproval and disappeared into the kitchen, returning minutes later with platters of steaming foods Hoss licked his lips eagerly and began the platters around the table. Adam took small helpings and passed the platters on to Joe.

No one spoke a word, except for the occasional cough and clearing of throats, there was no sound. Ben's eyes were on Adam and he knew it. He tried to eat the food that had no appeal for him.

" Adam you really need to eat son, it's going to be a long day."

Adam pushed his food around the plate " I know."

He put some scrambled eggs in his mouth and chewed absently, he just wanted to get the whole day over with.

After a dreary breakfast the four men left the house and began the ride into Virginia City. Adam could feel the knot in his stomach grow bigger and bigger as the town drew closer. It was fear, he knew that but he didn't know what to do about it.

When they rode into town and Adam got off his horse he found people waiting for him. Judge Benning, Tim Curtis, his lawyer they were all there. And just beyond them peering at him from the steps of the building was Mr. Peck's daughter. Adam thought she smiled at him but he couldn't be sure.

He felt what was the beginning of a headache and tried to concentrate on what they were saying to him. His lawyer took his arm and led him inside. He then took him off to a room on the left where Ben followed close behind.

" I need to talk to you for a few minutes Adam" Hiram explained and sat down " Sit down Adam."

Adam stared blankly for a moment and then sat, he felt ill.

Hiram watched him closely, he was concerned about the paleness of his face, he didn't look right.

" Alright Adam, here it is, just remember to answer Burnett's questions yes or no, don't let him rile you. Don't give him any more information than he asks for when you can help it. But when it comes time to tell the story of what happened out at Peck's, that's when you don't leave out anything, you got it?"

Adam nodded but his eyes were on the window, all he could think was that he wanted to get out.

" Do you have any questions Adam?"

Adam thought a moment and then shook his head and dropped his eyes.

" Excuse me a minute Adam, I'd like to talk to your father" Hiram said, he rose from the chair and took Ben's arm. They went just outside the door but Adam could still here them.

" I don't like this Ben, what's wrong with him, he looks sick or something?"

Ben shook his head " I don't know Hiram, he's been worried sick over this whole process. The truth is he hasn't been himself since the explosion out at Peck's, I'm not sure but maybe he hasn't had adequate time to recover.

" Look Ben I need him to testify with confidence, why he looks like he could be knocked over with a feather, are you sure he's up to this?"

Ben looked doubtful " What would happen today if he didn't testify?"

Hiram held Ben's eyes and abruptly turned away throwing his hands up as he walked a short way " We'd lose for sure, he's the only eye witness we have to Peck's murder, and the Judge isn't going to let us use any of the things Benning has on him.

This is simply about Peck's murder and Adam was the only one who was there."

Adam flinched in his chair as he listened, it was all up to him and he was going to fail them all, he knew it. He felt heat radiate up from his collar and he pulled at it.

There were more words exchanged between his father and lawyer and then Ben was there before him.

" Well son, are you ready?"

Adam stood up, deciding that he was going to do his best to get through this with some sense of dignity.

" I'm ready Pa."

Ben put a hand on his shoulder and held it there.

" Adam wait, there's something I wasn't going to tell you but I think you should know."

Adam watched a look of hurt cross his father's face and he waited.

" I went to see Harry a couple days ago, I needed to know why he'd done it. I needed to have him tell me he was sorry for all that he'd done" Ben stopped and swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth " He didn't Adam, he had no remorse for what he'd done, none at all. I have no regrets about today son, and neither
should you, do you understand what I'm saying?"

Adam nodded his head,realizing his father still thought he was feeling guilty. A light rap on the door jam caught their attention and they found Peck's daughter in the doorway.

" Excuse me Mr. Cartwright I wonder if I might speak to Adam for a moment?"

" Of course Miss Peck."

" It's Mrs. Stevens now Mr. Cartwright" she told him with a smile.

" Oh I'm sorry dear I'd forgotten, Excuse me I'll leave you two alone."

Ben said and closed the door behind him.

Adam felt a sense of shame having her before him, he didn't know what to say.

" I'm sorry about your father."

Sophia sat down, her eyes downcast as she removed her bonnet and placed it on her lap.

" Adam I'm sorry I haven't been to see you before today, this has been a terrible time for all of us I suppose. But I did want you to know that none of what's happened is your fault. And I wanted to tell you that I thank you for testifying today, I'm hoping for some closure in all this."

Adam heaved a great sigh and sat down " Sophia I went out there to try to get him to leave, I had a feeling Dawson was going to do something, I didn't know what but I sensed he planning something" he paused " I just have a feeling that perhaps if I hadn't gone out there, maybe the result wouldn't have been the same....." his words trailed off.

" Adam you must understand I came here to thank you and to offer my support, not to blame you in anyway and I don't."

Adam looked into her eyes, he had no more words.

She smiled and looked down at her hands folded in her lap.

" Papa wanted us to have the farm I know that but I really don't think I could live there now, it would be too hard. I offered to sell it to your father, he said he'd discuss it with you."

Adam nodded, he tried to look pleased, he nodded mutely.

" Well I best be going Adam, God be with you today , thank you."

Adam stood and took her hand in his " Thank you Sophia, and again I am sorry."

" I know Adam" she said with a sad smile and then she was gone.

When the time came for Adam to take the witness stand he forced himself to keep his eyes straight ahead, he did not want to look at Dawson. He was acutely aware of Dawson's eyes on him but he chose to ignore him.

He answered the questions as they were asked of him by Dawson's lawyer but all the time feeling empty . He wanted to look to his family for encouragement but at the same time, didn't want them to see his fear. He had no way of knowing that they saw it anyway.

Joe especially, was uncomfortable with the way Adam was hesitating before answering. He needed questions repeated and seemed confused by some of them.

" What's wrong with him" Joe whispered " He seems so lost,like he's sick or something."

Ben nodded his agreement and whispered back " I've noticed it too, I was thinking of going after Paul, just in case.

Ben watched Adam fidget with the next question and almost wince when his own lawyer objected to the question. He's eyes seemed to be flitting around the room looking for a way out.

" His confidence that's what's missing Joe, he somehow has lost confidence."

" But why?" Joe whispered fiercely " He knows he's right, why is he balking? It's making him look like an uncreditable witness."

Ben shook his head " I don't know son, I'm almost tempted to put a stop to this torture if only I knew how."

Adam's lawyer was questioning him and it was obvious to everyone that he was handling him with kid gloves for he too had seen Adam's uncertainty.

When Hiram asked Adam to tell his version of what had happened the day of the explosion his face changed completely. He paled considerably and made a poor attempt to take a deep breath. He told his story with many pauses, as if he was having trouble remembering details.

"And after the glass broke and you looked out the window, who did you see galloping away for all he was worth?" Hiram thundered at him.

" Objection."

" Sustained."

Adam's eyes followed the speakers.

" Adam, who did you see riding away from the Peck place?"

" Harry Dawson" Adam said as clearly as he could.

" And is that man in this courtroom?"

" Yes he is" Adam said trying desperately to keep the quaver out of his voice.

"Can you point him out to us?"

Adam looked up at Dawson for the first time, he was glaring at Adam and his mouth formed a single word. Although Dawson made no sound Adam heard it as loudly as if Dawson had shouted.

" Bastard!"

Adam stared and his eyes went wildly around the room and he saw Sophia and Tim Curtis watching him. Trapped, he stumbled from his seat on the witness stand and rushed from the courtroom, the voices of the people around him echoing in his ears.

He felt as close to tears as he'd ever been and didn't know where to go. He rushed into the first room he came to and shut the door hard. He sat on the bench near the window and struggled to get control of himself.

It didn't take Ben long to find him, he came in the room and locked the door. Quietly he sat next to Adam.

" They've called a recess, to give you time to regroup. Hiram wants to talk to you son."

Adam picked his head up " Yeah well I don't want to talk anymore. Look Pa, I'm sorry just tell everyone I'm sorry I just can't go through with this. I lied I didn't see Dawson, I made it up because I wanted to see him get his retribution."

Ben regarded him skeptically " Son, I know you, you don't make things up."

Adam jumped up angrily " Yeah well maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do."

Ben looked at the floor, waiting.

" I can't do it, do you understand? Just tell Hiram I've changed my mind."

" Why? That's what I want to know, why?"

Adam didn't answer but turned his back to his father, he was getting nowhere.

There came a knock on the door and Ben turned toward it.

" Just a moment please."

" Pa it's me Joe, I need to talk to you."

" Not now Joseph we'll be out in a minute."

" Pa please it's important."

Ben blew out his breath " Alright just a minute Joe."

He stood up and looked at Adam's back " I'll be right back Adam."

Adam appeared not to have heard and Ben left him alone, hoping he would come to his senses.

Ben stared at his youngest son in disbelief.

" Why didn't you tell me this before?" he demanded.

Joe dropped his head " I don't know Pa, I figured Adam probably knew better. I mean he never lets people get to him anyway and to tell you the truth I'd forgotten about it. That is until I saw Dawson say what he did."

" I've half a mind to take Dawson into my own hands."

" That's what's wrong with him, Adam's lost faith..."

" He's lost faith in himself and I've got to give it back to him. Listen tell Hoss to go ahead and take a lunch break, you go with him. We have until two o'clock make sure you're back by then."

Joe nodded and Ben followed him as he left the room, he returned to where Adam was. He was about to enter the room when Hiram came hurrying up the hall and called to him.

" Ben look here I need to speak to that boy and right now, he has to pull himself together and he has an hour and a half to do it."

" Look Hiram give me about fifteen minutes alone with him, that's all I ask."

Hiram looked as if he was going to protest, but the complaint never left his lips " Alright Ben, I'll come back in about twenty minutes, but he has to testify, we've come too far now."

" I know Hiram, I know, just give me a little time."

Hiram assented and moved on as Ben knocked lightly on the door.

" Adam it's me, let me in I need to talk to you."

Adam's reply was muffled behind the door.

" Pa I don't want to talk anymore."

Ben gripped the doorknob tighter " Please son, open the door."

He leaned closer and heard footsteps and then the click of the door being opened. As soon as Ben stepped in, Adam sat on the bench and looked up at him.

Ben stood across from him and leaned against the wall.

" Adam I know that Harry said some things to you, told you things that upset you and I wanted to tell you the truth."

Adam looked confused " What things?"

Ben sighed and sat down " Things about your mother, about a promise I made to her."

Color rushed to Adam's face and he looked away with a whisper.

" Oh God" it was true.

Ben watched him and felt a deep sympathy in his heart, he realized with a certain amount of guilt, that it was a talk they should have had long ago.

"Adam sometimes a father goes through his life thinking that his children know instinctively how he feels about them. He also goes on thinking he knows what's in the heart of his children, that he knows what they're feelings " he paused a moment " That was my mistake all along, thinking you knew all the time. And what I didn't consider was that you might have some doubts. I told you that you're mother died in childbirth and never told you anymore about it. Even though you were a child when I told you, even then, you seemed so grownup, I just didn't think it was necessary to tell you anymore."

Adam was still turned toward the window, but he was listening while at the same time afraid what he would hear. Ben took a deep breath before continuing.

" Harry did know your mother and she him, and they genuinely liked each other, I'm somehow grateful she didn't have to see what became of him....."

Ben paused once again and the wait for him to go on was agony.

" It's true I did make a promise to your mother before she died " he said and heard a sharp intake of breath from his son.

" I promised your mother that no matter what, I would pursue my dream to come west. She knew her time was running out even if I didn't and she wanted to make sure that I didn't give it up. Adam there was never any mention of whether or not you would come with me, I would not have come without you."

Adam turned toward his father, he seemed to be weighing the truth of his words.

" You see son, you were a part of that dream from the moment you were born and I could not have lived it without you. I loved your mother with every part of my being and you're part of that love Adam, you're every bit a part of me as she is. Only a fool would hold an ingenuous child responsible for an act of nature.

Now I ask you, do I look like a fool to you?"

A nervous smile played on Adam's face, his whole being was flooded with a wave of peace and relief " No sir" he mumbled.

" Now I'm counting on you to do what you have to do today, to tell the truth so that Harry Dawson can know it when he hears it."
 
Adam nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.

" Now what shall I tell Hiram?" Ben asked after standing and gripping Adam's shoulder.

" Tell him I'm ready" Adam said looking directly at his father.

" Good, that's my boy" Ben said happily and stood up straight He strode to the door and was about to open it when Adam called him.

" Pa......... thank you" Adam said.

Ben smiled back at him " You're welcome" he said and left him alone.

That afternoon it was a confident Adam that gave his testimony and answered the questions put before him. And this time he looked Harry Dawson in the eye when he told his account of what had happened the day Mr. Peck had died.

After deliberating for little more than an hour the jury found Harry Dawson guilty of murder and everyone in the courtroom seemed to heave a collective sigh of relief, it was over.

As Adam stood outside the courthouse he was approached by Judge Benning and Tim Curtis. They each shook his hand wearing broad smiles.

" Well young Cartwright you saved me a lot of work" Judge Benning said.

Tim clasped his hand hard " Adam I would have liked him to admit what he'd done to my family, but it's enough to know he won't hurt any more people, I'm not sure thank you is enough to say how I really feel, but my thanks is all I can give you."

" It's enough Tim, it's enough for me" Adam told him.

Tim grinned with a nod at Ben, he and Judge Benning made their way across the street.

Adam looked around him and took in a great breath of air and glanced at his father.

" Well I guess we might as well join Hoss and Joe."

Ben put a hand on his shoulder " I just want you to know son that I'm proud of you."

" Well I'm glad I was able to give some closure as Sophia put it, to them, but I don't think I'll ever be happy about any of the events that brought us together" Adam said still watching the retreating figures of Benning and Curtis.

His face changed when he saw Sophia and her husband coming toward them. Sophia came before him and held out her hand Adam took it somewhat hesitantly " Thank you Adam, thank you for everything."

" You're welcome Sophia" he wanted to say more, but didn't.

Sophia turned her attention to Ben " Mr. Cartwright, this is my husband Walter, we'd like to talk to you sometime soon about selling my father's land, if you're still interested."

Ben looked over at his son " Well Adam what do you think?" Sophia saw his uncertainty " Adam my father loved that land, it was almost sacred to him I think, I would want someone to have it that would worship the land and respect it as he did. I know your family would honor that wish."

Adam nodded his assent " Alright Sophia, but as always you're welcome here, this is still your home."

Sophia touched his arm and smiled her gratitude, her husband shook their hands and thanked them also.

" Everyone seems to be going to the hotel, would you care to join us?" Sophia asked hopefully.

" Well" Ben spoke up " We happened to be on our way over there to meet Hoss and Joe, do you mind if we walk over with you?"

" Please do" Sophia said and took her husband's arm.

Ben and Adam fell in behind them walking side by side. Ben put an arm around Adam's shoulder and gave a squeeze. Adam looked up at him and smiled, that simple gesture said it all.

The End


RETURN TO LIBRARY