The Ties that Bind
Written by
Mary Stone
CHAPTER 1
The young man held
his horse to a dancing trot as he made
the long familiar
ride into town. He was absorbed in thought,
looking all
around, taking in sights he knew by heart but never
tired of. He tried
to remember how old he had been the first
time he had made
the trip alone, ten, twelve? It was such a long
time ago it was
hard to even remember what the purpose of the
first trip had
been.
He had not lived
in this territory all his life, only his
youngest brother
had been born here. He himself, the oldest of
three boys, had
been born in
Elizabeth
Stoddard, daughter of
Stoddard. And she
had married the young man who had served with
him, Benjamin
Cartwright, now a prominent and well respected
businessman here
in
with ease, was his
son Adam Cartwright. Adam's mother had died
shortly after his
birth, and not much later Ben took his infant
son and journeyed
west, leaving the sea behind, and never looking
back.
Adam was thirty
one now and his father's right hand man. Ben
often credited
much of his success to his eldest son's careful
business mind.
Adam was often tenacious about things he believed
in, it was a
stubborness his father admired, most of the time.
Adam enjoyed these
ventures off the ranch as it gave him a
chance to catch up
on news, and with old friends. The
Cartwrights were
well known throughout the territory, and for the
most part were
always welcomed with enthusiasm. Spring was
nearly upon them
so these trips would soon become scarce,
therefore he
intended to stay awhile when he got there.
When he was a boy
he had found the trips to town very
exciting. The town
was alive with people and noisy with
progress. But
after he had attended college in the east, he felt
the towns here
were behind the times. They could not compare to
the excitement of
the
could not shake
the feeling that he was missing out on what was
happening in the
world. In the west he was isolated and out of
touch, he longed
to be in the midst of it all. But at the same
time he felt a
great obligation to his family, his father counted
on him. In fact
the selling point of his going to college was
the idea that the
knowledge he would gain would be a great asset
to the ranch. So
often Adam felt restless, the wanderlust
pulling at his
heart. But today he felt relaxed, he had things
to do, he had to
pick up the mail, stop at the mercantile, and
maybe stop at the
saloon for a drink, and maybe visit with some
friends before
heading home.
He could hear the
town before he could see it, and he could
feel a quick rush
of excitement. He tightened the reins just a
little and brought
Prince down to a trot again as he rode up the
street already
bustling with people. A few people stopped to
wave or say hello.
A few stopped to talk a minute and after
exchanging
greetings Adam crossed the street to the post office.
"Any mail for
us Charlie?" he asked the clerk. Collecting the
mail he walked
back to his horse and put it in his saddlebags.
>From there he
walked his horse to the mercantile to pick up
tobacco for his
father. On his way out he ran into his good
friend Bill
Enders, who invited him to dinner. Adam explained he
wouldn't be in
town that long.
"Why don't
you join me for drink over to the saloon?" Adam
offered
"Sorry Buddy,
I gotta meet Hiram Wood in about ten
minutes,maybe next
time. See ya Adam"
Adam was
dissapointed but it couldn't be helped. He untied
his horse and
started walking to the saloon. After the long ride
into town he
preferred walking around town.
It was just about
doors, but it was
already filled with people and smoke. He
walked up to the
bar, ordered a beer and went to find an empty
table. He found a
copy of the Territorial Enterprise and took it
with him.
He found a table
and began leafing through the paper. The
noise behind him
became a buzz, when suddenly he heard his name.
"Adam
Cartwright, what the hell are you doing here?"
Adam turned to
face a vaguely familiar man whose name escaped
him. The man was
leaning on the table a broad smile on his face.
"Oh come on
Adam, don't tell me you don't remember me?" Adam
struggled for the man's
name in his mind, but the man filled him
in.
"College in
the east, Clifton Donovan the third"
The name sent a
chill up his back as memory flooded in.
They'd been
friends until Adam had turned him into the Dean for
cheating on exams.
He was then expelled from the college and
disowned by his
wealthy
what had become of
him. He looked road weary and well traveled.
his face.
"So is this
where you live now Adam?"
Adam leaned back
and studied his former friend's face.
"I live
outside of town on the family ranch Clif" he stated.
"Ah yes the
family homestead, I forgot. God knows you talked
about it enough.
But I guess we both talked about our families
and our homes, and
all that was waiting for us, didn't we?"
Adam nodded,
curious now as to what Clif wanted.
"You know my
family had big plans for me. I was gonna work
with my father and
then take over the company eventually. My
father died about
six years ago, my brother Charles in in charge
now, and he has
four sons of his own. I even heard he named one
of them
the fourth will
accomplish what
He looked at Adam
who was expressionless and silent, not the
reaction Clif had
hoped for. Then Adam leaned forward and sipped
his beer, cupped
his hands around the mug, and said.
"So what are
you doing these days Clif, what brings you to
This brought a quick
smile and almost too eager response,
"Why I've
traveled all over the country Adam, seen more towns
than most people
see in a lifetime. I can't stay in one place
too long you
know"
"Oh why's
that Clif?" Adam said biting at the obvious bait.
"Well because
Adam, I can't remember which parts of the
territory I'm
wanted in" he stated proudly.
Adam gave a half
grin, "Oh I see, you're quite the outlaw now
are you?"
"Yes I am and
I have you to thank for that Adam?"
Adam frowned and
took another swig of beer
"Oh come on
actions and his
own destiny"
shoved his chair
back, and took a drink of Adam's beer.
"Oh yeah,
well we'll see about that won't we" He pushed the
mug back toward
Adam and said, "See you around Adam" and walked
out of the saloon.
Adam watched him
go and sat for a few minutes reflecting on
the situation.
After a minute of so he convinced himself that he
was harmless and rose
to head on home.
He reached the
road leading to the ranch and contemplated what
to do, he thought
about going back to the house but he didn't
really want to see
his father at the moment so he decided to skip
lunch and go back
out to the branding pens and rejoin his
brothers.
He saw the clouds
of dust all around the pens and was relieved
he had something
to do to distract himself. He searched throught
the dust for his
younger brother and spotting him rode up
alongside him.
"Hey Adam,
glad to see you found your way back, want a job?"
"That depends
what have you got for me?" Adam said
" Now you
don't think for one minute I'd give my big brother a
job he couldn't
handle do ya?"
Adam smiled with
affection at him, he was indeed Adam's
younger brother,
but you wouldn't know it looking at him. He not
only was taller,
but he outweighed Adam by more than sixty
pounds. His given
name was Eric, but a nickname his Uncle Gunnar
had suggested had
stayed with him. Everyone called him Hoss,
which was a
mountain term for a big friendly man, and that was
Hoss. He stood six
foot four and weighed more than two hundred
and fifty pounds.
But he was as gentle and kind as he was big,
and people loved
him instantly.
" I'll tell
you what you take that crew over there and see if
you can round up
whatever calves we missed and bring them back
here, can you
manage that?" Hoss said good naturedly, Adam knew
he enjoyed being
in charge.
" I'll do my
best Boss" Adam said and headed in the direction
of the crew. He
saw his youngest brother coming towards him with
a deviant smile on
his face. His name was Joseph after Ben's
father, and he'd
been given the nickname Little Joe as a boy. It
was a name still
used in the family and by close friends.
" Hey big
brother, you're back. Did those women run you out
of town
again?" he said.
He stopped his
horse when they were facing in opposite
directions.
"Now Joe you
shouldn't express you're envy out loud" Adam
said teasing.
"What in the
world would I have to be envious of?"
"You got a
couple days and I'll tell you"
Joe gave a short
laugh and punched Adam slightly in the arm
and rode off
saying, "You are so funny"
Adam watched him
go and laughed too, he soon forgot what was
wrorrying him
earlier.
********************************
CHAPTER 2
It was nearly dark
when the boys returned to the house, later
still by the time
they got their horses bedded down for the
night. With all
the work to do in the Spring it wasn't unusual
for them to work
and eat late.
Their father was
waiting for them at the door as they
approached the
house. "Well did we get them all tallied up today
boys," he
asked.
"Not quite
yet Pa", Hoss said, "I don't think we got em all
accounted for, we
should finish up tomorrow sometime."
"Good let's
get something to eat now, I've been waiting on
you"
They went to the
kitchen to wash up then quickly sat down,
gave their thanks,
and dug in. For a few minutes the only sounds
were the dishes
being passed around as their cook Hop Sing
brought them from
the kitchen and placed them on the table. Ben
watched his sons
fill their plates, the three of them looking
worn out from a
hard days work. He studied each of them briefly
and then froze
when he came to Adam. He seemed to be in another
world, absently
toying with his food.
"Adam did you
pick up the mail today?" Ben asked, no
response.
"Adam did you
hear me?" Adam looked up somewhat startled, and
then looked to his
father questioning.
" The mail
Son, did you get it today?" he asked again.
" Oh yes Sir,
I'll get it" He got up from the table and went
out to the barn to
retrieve the mail from his saddlebags. While
he was gone Ben
questioned his brothers.
"Anything
happen today I should know about?"
Hoss and Joe
exchanged glances and shrugged
"Nothing out
of the ordinary" Joe said with his mouth half
full.
Adam returned and
handed his father the mail, then resumed
his seat. He tried
to eat but for some reason had no appetite.
He forced himself
to eat more then he wanted knowing his father
would question him
if he didn't.
"I'm too
tired for dessert" he said a few minutes later, "I
think I'll go to
my room and read awhile, then go to bed.
Goodnight"
and he rose and headed for the stairs, he knew his
father was
watching him as he climbed the stairs but he needed to
be alone.
When he reached
his room, he sat at his desk and pulled his
boots off. He
glanced around the room while rubbing his aching
feet, stopping
when he noticed his old college textbooks sitting
on the shelf. He
remembered all the hours he spent pouring over
those books, how
hard he had worked, the same as most of the
students. Had he
been wrong in turning in Clifton Donovan? He
had never
questioned before, why was it bothering him now?
He shook his head,
got up from the chair and stretched. He
was tired and his
whole body ached. He threw himself on the bed
and lay on his
back with his hands behind his head. He couldn't
seem to get
Donovan off his mind. Was he harmless like Adam had
thought at first?
Or was he a wanted man who could be
potentially
dangerous? How long was he going to stay in town,
and how long would
Adam be able to successfully avoid him?
It was nearly two
hours later when Ben walked by his room and
saw the light coming
from under the door. He knocked lightly,
and getting no
response he opened the door. He found his eldest
son asleep, one
arm flung over his head, the other resting on his
chest. Ben stood
studying him for a moment, his black hair was
in disarray from
sleep, and his face was peaceful. He looked like
a boy again,
somehow vulnerable. No longer able to resist the
urge Ben reached
out to straighten his hair. As soon as he
touched him, Adam
stirred. It took him a minute to realize his
father was there,
when he did he quickly sat up.
"What time is
it?" he asked sleepily
"Somewhere
around eleven I think, I saw your light on"
"Oh sorry, I
didn't realize how tired I was"
Adam could feel
his father's eyes on him and it made him
uneasy. His father
had always had a way of looking right through
him no matter how
hard he tried to hide his feelings. He was the
only person that
had the ability to do that, and Adam could not
bear to look into
those eyes.
"Anything
happen in town today, you seem kind've distracted?"
Adam shook his
head, studying his hands,
"No just ran
my errands, had a drink, came home and went back
to work"
Ben felt his son's
forehead, and Adam gave him an embarrased
smile.
"Come on Pa,
I'm fine, everything is fine" he assured him
"And you
would tell me if there was a problem?"
"Yes I
promise" Adam said trying to sound convincing.
Ben straitened up
and studied him again.
"Alright
then, I'll let you go back to sleep"
Adam lay back down
as his father pulled the blanket over him.
Ben paused a
moment waiting for Adam to look at him.
"I'm here if
you need me, Okay?"
" I know Pa,
goodnight" he answered as he wiggled himself down
to a comfortable
position.
Ben blew out the
lantern and Adam heard him softly say
goodnight and walk
out of the room. He lay there for some time
wondering if he
was gonna need his father after all. He would
try to avoid
involving him at whatever cost.
******************************
CHAPTER 3
Adam continued to see
Clifton Donovan every time he went to town for
almost a month.
There was no way around it though he was not about to hide
out on the ranch
and he really wasn't afraid of him anyway. He figured
Clif had found
work somewhere and was planning on staying, but for what
reason Adam didn't
know. He found it hard to believe the man was hanging
around for no
other reason than to harass him. And when he did confront
Adam it seemed he
was trying to get some kind of reation from Adam, and
wasn't succeeding.
Adam was a master at keeping a poker face in almost any
situation, and
Donovan was finding that out. But he wasn't about to give
up, he didn't
really want to harm Adam, but he did want him to squirm a
little. He wanted
Adam to know what he had felt. Ideally he would like
Adam to admit his
actions had ruined Donovan's life. He had lost
everything
important to him, his whole future had been rearranged for him.
He would like to
see Adam lose something important to him, but what was
important to Adam
Cartwright, that he didn't know.
Clifton Donovan
was not the feared outlaw he made himself out to be.
Most of his crimes
concerned robberies, which was how he survived. He had
never killed
anyone in his life even in cases where he was forced to defend
himself. Adam had
begun to realize this too, and he worried less. He
figured he was a
patient man and Donovan would move on sooner or later.
However long it
took Adam figured he could wait him out, or so he thought.
On Saturday he
came to town the first of the month as usual for
supplies. He was
walking up the street when Donovan fell in behind him.
"Adam I
haven't seen you for awhile, where ya been?"
"Working as
usual Clif, the ranch doesn't run itself"
Adam kept walking,
he had documents to drop off at the lawyers for his
father, and then
he just wanted to go home.
"Yeah it must
be nice to have a family and a nice home and all. I
lost all that and
can't ever get it back"
Adam didn't say
anything, there wasn't anything to say.
"How does it
feel to be responsible for a man's loss of his livelihood
Adam?"
" I wouldn't
know Clif", Adam said growing impatient. Donovan
suddenly grabbed
his arm and swung him around.
"You think
you're so high and mighty around here but it don't put you
above the responsibility
of what you did to me"
Adam shrugged his
arm free and faced him, struggling for control of
his temper.
" When are
you going to grow up and face who's really responsible"
Adam growled. Clif
was about to respond when they were distracted by a
voice coming
towards them.
"Supplies are
all loaded Adam, you about ready to go"
Donovan studied
the approaching figure and to Adam said,
"Well well,
who've we got here?"
Before Adam could
say anything, his brother held out his hand.
"Hi, I'm Joe
Cartwright, Adam's brother. How are you Sir?"
Donovan shook
Joe's extended hand and turned to Adam with a smile. Adam
avoided his glance
and looked at his brother instead.
"Adam's
brother huh? What a pleasure to meet you. I'm Clifton
Donovan, an old school
chum of your brother's"
Donovan realized
he may have just found the very thing he'd been
looking for,
something that was important to Adam, something that could
bring him to his
knees. One look at Adam's face told him he was right, he
saw fear. It was a
look that gave him great pleasure. Adam took Joe's arm
and started
walking.
"Come on Joe,
we gotta get going." As they walked away Donovan
hollered after
them.
"Nice to meet
you Joe.......hope to see you again."
Joe glanced at his
brother who was practically dragging him across the
street. His jaw
was set, he was furious, but why?
"Who was that
guy Adam?" he asked.
"Never mind,
just forget about him." Adam said continuing to pull him
toward the wagon.
"Look Adam, I
know he ain't a friend of yours, I saw you practically
hit him. That's
why I came over."
Adam stopped
walking to face his brother.
"Maybe you
should've stayed where you were and minded your own business"
Joe frowned and
felt his own anger rising, "What are you yelling at me
for? What the heck
did I do?"
Adam let go of his
arm and moved his hand to his shoulder. He took a
deep breath
forcing himself to calm down.
"Look he's
just a guy I knew a long time ago. Just do me a favor and
stay out of his
way, ignore him"
Joe glanced in the
direction Donovan had gone and said,
"I ain't
afraid of him, let him try to start something, I can take him"
This time Adam
grabbed him by both arms hard, his eyes flashing.
" I told you
to stay away from him, you hear me?"
Joe angrily shook
him free and climbed up on the buckboard. He couldn't
stand the way Adam
treated him like a child. He wasn't a kid anymore and
he wished just
once his brother would treat him like an equal.
Adam stood for a
moment with his head down. He had to get control of
himself, he was
only making things worse. He was furious with himself and
taking it out on
the wrong person. Why did he let Little Joe come into
town with him? Why
did he give Donovan the very ammunition he needed? He
had to find a way
to keep Joe away from him. He would not let Donovan have
the upper hand.
Adam straightened
up and walked to the buckboard climbing into the
seat. He was
thoroughly ashamed of himself for hurting Joe and not just
physically. None
of this was Joe's fault, they had made this trip together
for years,
something they'd always enjoyed. Adam leaned forward to pick up
the reins, sat
back and looked at Joe. He was sitting with his head down
looking more hurt
than angry, which only made Adam feel even worse.
"Look Joe,
I'm sorry I hurt you. It's just this Donovan makes me lose
my temper. It's
not you, I'm sorry.......okay?"
Little Joe nodded,
unable for the moment to look at his brother. Adam
slapped the reins
to the horses and they bolted forward. The brothers
stayed silent for
some time both of them lost in their own thoughts. Adam
would occasionally
look at Joe, not sure if he'd been forgiven. He felt he
had to say
something.
"Donovan and
I did go to college together, we were friends. I think it
was more his
family's idea for him to attend the college than his. He
wasn't real
devoted to his studies, just couldn't seem to apply himself.
And he was the
kind of guy who would always look for the easy way out. At
college he cheated
on his exams, thought it was real clever of him."
He paused a moment
to make sure Joe was listening, he was.
"He used to
pay people to do his assignments for him, even tried to get
me to once"
This brought a
smile to Joe's face, knowing his brother like he did.
" I
overlooked his actions at first, I liked him. But then the others
started noticing
what he was doing, so someone was going to turn him in
sooner or later. I
just decided to do it before we took our next exams.
Maybe I should've
kept my mouth shut, I don't know. I felt responsible for
ignoring it in the
beginning"
"Did he ever
try to get someone to help him?" Joe asked.
"You mean did
I ever offer to help him? Yeah I did and so did a lot of
the others, but he
just wasn't willing to make the effort"
"Too bad I
know you could've helped him. You helped me with my math
when I thought I'd
never get through it."
Adam smiled, he
remembered and knew he'd been forgiven.
"You know Joe
you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped"
Joe nodded in
agreement then said, "Why didn't he just go to a
different school
or just go to work somewhere?"
" Well first
of all his father owned a huge lumber business in the area
and story got in
the local paper. His father was furious, threw him out of
his house and his
life, said he didn't want to look at him"
"So what did
he do after that?"
" I don't
know, he said his father died a few years ago and his younger
brother took over
the business. He claims he's a wanted man but I think
that's just
talk."
Joe was thoughtful
absorbing the information.
"So what does
he want with you now........revenge?"
"I wish I
knew, he starts picking at me every time I come into town.
Trying to make me
admit I ruined his life or something. I haven't really
felt threatened by
him..........."
Adam stopped
suddenly and Joe looked up at him.
"
.........until today that is." he said finishing the sentence almost
in a whisper. He
hated the way his feelings for his family got locked up
somehow. Why was
is so hard to just say what he was feeling?
Joe looked
straight ahead, he felt the emotion hanging there between
them. He was
perfectly aware of how Adam felt about him, he also knew how
hard it was to
express it. It was true they got on each other's nerves at
times but most of
the time they got along fine. At this moment Joe felt
like a kid again,
warm in his older brother's shadow.
"Are you
afraid of him?" Joe asked studying Adam's face.
Adam kept his eyes
forward and gave a slight shrug.
" You know I never
thought you were afraid of anything" Joe said
seriously.
Adam half grinned
at that, " That would be a bit unrealistic wouldn't
it? Besides
everyone is afraid of something in their life at some time or
another."
Joe was thoughtful
again, he could think of several things he had been
and was afraid of
but he wasn't going to mention them.
"So what are
you afraid of?" he asked Adam.
" I just have
one thing that's my absolute worst fear" he stated still
looking at the
road ahead.
"Yeah what is
it?" Joe asked persistenly
Adam hesitated, he
wasn't sure he wanted to continue this
converstation.
They were entering an area he seldom talked about. When he
faced his little
brother he could tell he was waiting, he sighed deeply and
answered with one
word.
"Death"
Joe nodded, yes he
too was afraid of that when he thought about it but
at his age he
didn't think about it too much. He was rather surprised that
Adam might.
"Yeah I guess
everyone is afraid to die"
Adam shook his
head and his brother gave him a puzzled look.
"I'm not
afraid of dying myself, I'm afraid of someone close to me dying"
Joe quickly looked
away, now that was something he hadn't ever really
thought about at
all. And now the idea shook him, what would that be like,
he was sure he
didn't want to know.
" I'm afraid
of that too" he said quietly. Adam could feel something
go out of him and
was sorry he mentioned it. He decided to change the subject.
" You know
there is a way to solve my problem with Donovan"
Joe looked up at
his brother's smiling face.
" Yeah
how?" he asked curious.
" I could
just introduce him to Hoss"
They both laughed
relief flooding over them. The air suddenly seeming
to clear
*********************************
CHAPTER 4
Ben sat at his
desk with his chin resting on his hands. He had just
finished his end
of the month paperwork, a job he dreaded but was always
filled with
satisfaction when it was done. The boys were in the barn
tending the stock
for the night. Spring branding was finished and the crews
had been paid off.
The timber contracts were finalized and in the next
couple of weeks
they'd have to move the horse to Spring pasture and bring
in the two year
olds for breaking. It looked like they were going to have
a good bunch to
sell this year. All was pointing to a good, profitable year.
He put his books
and paperwork away and sat back, lighting his
favorite pipe. He
looked at the pictures of his wives that adorned the top
of his desk. Each of
them had given him a son,and each of them had died
when the boys had
been very small. Three wives, three sons, it still
amazed him how
unique they all were. While glancing at the pictures his
thoughts suddenly
turned to Adam, something was going on with him lately.
He had been so
distracted and absent minded for some time now, and these
were traits that
he'd never apply to his eldest son. Adam had always been
the responsible
one, the one that could always be counted on. But the last
few weeks he'd
been almost in a fog, forgetting things, not paying
attention to
business, and was having trouble sleeping too. Ben could hear
him moving around
at night when he thought everyone was asleep. He'd been
letting it go
because Adam insisted it was nothing more than Spring fever
and it would pass.
Ben rose from his
desk deciding to check on the boys, they should've
been back in by
now. He went to the door and stepped out into the night
air. He paused to
take a deep breath savoring the sweet smell of pine he
loved so much.
After a moment he moved on toward the barn. He could hear
his son's voices
floating towards him before he reached the barn. He
stopped outside
the door to listen to them, he'd learned a long time ago it
was the best way
to get information.
" I just
don't want to give him a simple name like Blackie, I want him
to have a special
name."
That was Hoss, and
Ben peeked to see Hoss holding onto the orphaned
foal they'd
brought in that morning.
" How about
Black Magic?" Joe offered, he was sitting on a bale of hay.
" No that's
no good, we had a critter with that name."
They were silent
for a while, then Adam said,
"He's
probably gonna turn grey when he's older you know?"
" Oh yeah
that's right" Hoss said with some disappointment
" Grey
Ghost" Joe said trying again.
" How about
Scruffy?" Adam said from his position on the saddle stand
"
Scruffy..... why?" Hoss inquired
" Doesn't he
look scruffy to you?" Adam demanded.
" Oh come on
Adam, he's only a baby, he may grow up to be our next
stallion" Joe
said reaching out to scratch the foals neck.
" We don't
need a new stallion, we have King" Adam said evenly.
Ben knew the
reason for that tone, King was Adam's horse, and he was
very proud of the
foals he produced each year. He was not about to let
King be replaced.
"Oh we could
always get a good price for him at the fall sale" Hoss
said teasing.
" We could
get a good price for you too if we sold you by the pound"
Adam answered half
kidding.
Joe laughed loudly
and Ben decided to move into the conversation.
" Evening
Boys", he said as he entered the barn, they all jumped.
"Pa help us
think of a name for this here colt" Hoss pleaded.
" Oh Hoss,
you've got plenty of time to name him, he's hardly got a
personality yet.
Why don't you give him a chance to earn a name, alot can
happen in just a
short time."
" Pa's right,
besides I'm too tired to think anymore" Adam said,
standing up, ready
to go inside.
" Oh come on
Adam, you think in your sleep," Joe teased, " I bet you
sleep with your
eyes open so you don't miss anything"
Adam hooked his
arm around Little Joe's neck and squeezed just a little.
" Alright
boys, let's hit the hay, we've got a big day tomorrow" Ben
said slapping his
hands together for emphasis. Hoss quickly ushered the
foal into the
stall with it's foster mother. Joe was unsuccessfully trying
to dislodge
himself, when Adam suddenly let him go, and fell in behind his
father and
brother. Joe jumped up and went charging at Adam's back but
didn't anticipate
Adam's quick move out of the way and he sprawled to the
ground.
" Nice going
Grace" Adam said shaking his head with mock sadness.
Hoss laughed
heartily and Ben reached out to help him up, wiping off his back.
"Alright boys
that's enough" Ben warned as Joe plotted silent revenge.
Hoss suddenly
stopped in front of his father.
" I got it,
what about Royal Grace?" Hoss exclaimed.
" Very
funny" Joe snarled and stomped into the house.
Hoss turned to
Adam expectanly.
" Yeah great
what if he grows into a klutz" and he too went inside.
Ben quickly put
his arm around his disappointed son.
" I think
it's perfect Son, don't pay any attention to them. You're
the only one who
knows real horseflesh when you see it"
"Really Pa,
you like it?"
" I do indeed
and that's the very name I'm putting in the registry book.
He's your colt and
you can name him whatever you want."
" Thanks Pa,
I reckon he's named for sure. Those two wouldn't know a
good horse if it
stepped on em, goodnight Pa"
" Goodnight
Son, pleasant dreams" Ben said and watched him enter the
house proudly. He
looked up and saw the lantern in Adam's room go on and
took a deep
breath. Time to try out his plan, he knew whatever was going
on with Adam had
something to do with his trips to town. He was determined
to find out what
was troubling him.
He went inside and
walked up to Adam's room and knocked lightly on the
door.
" Enter at
your own risk" Adam warned. Ben smiled and pushed the door
open.
" I hope that
was meant for your brothers" Ben said lightly.
" Sorry Pa, I
thought you were Little Joe"
" Oh I see.
You know you shouldn't pick on him so much. He's still a
growing boy and
look what happened to Hoss."
Adam smiled at
that and said, " Pa if we didn't pick on him, he'd
think we didn't
like him"'
Ben laughed and
leaned on the bureau, it was suddenly silent. Adam
was sitting on the
bed with papers spread out in front of him. He looked
up expectantly
" Anything
wrong Pa, am I in trouble or something?"
" Oh no not at
all. Actually I uh have to go to town tomorrow to see
Mr. Troutman,,
find out if he's going to be looking to buy some colts this
year, and I'd like
you to go along with me"
Adam suddenly
paled and Ben knew he'd been right.
" What d'ya
need me for?" he asked
" Oh Adam you
know how he's always trying to tell me what they're
going for
elsewhere. You're up to date on what's happening in the market,
you can keep him
in line for me."
Ben waited
watching different emotions float over his son's face. He
was struggling for
an excuse, a way out. But Ben knew he didn't want to
refuse his father.
" We gotta
move those horses tomorrow" Adam tried.
" Your
brothers can handle that. Come on Adam I'm counting on you"
Ben knew he had
sealed any way out now.
Adam sighed
heavily and nodded, " Okay Pa, whenever you're ready then."
" Good we'll
leave right after breakfast"
Adam nodded again,
he looked truly defeated and for a moment Ben felt
guilty. But then
he remembered the weariness he'd seen more often and
quickly changed
his mind. He had to know what the source of the torment
was for Adam's own
good. Adam had always been hesitant about asking for
help, even when he
obviously needed it.
"Alright
then, goodnight Son, pleasant dreams" Ben said and left the
room. As he was
walking up the hallway he heard something heavy hit Adam's
bedroom wall, he
could guess what that was. He was tempted to go back and
squeeze the truth
out of him but as soon as he thought it, he knew it would
never work. With
Adam the more you pushed him the more he resisted. He'd
always been like
that, even as a small boy. He never liked being
approached by
strangers and would hide behind his father and observe
people. If he
found them safe though he would respond, but always on his
own terms.
Ben reached his
room and was still thinking of Adam as a boy,
remembering what a
beautiful child he'd been. Ben had loved holding him on
his lap and
reading him stories, and answering his never ending questions.
He remembered
sadly the day Adam had come to him with the question he had
dreaded.
" Papa, how
come I don't have a mother?"
He had been about
three or four at the time, the babyhood fading from
his face. Ben had
lifted him on his lap and held him close. Was he ready
to hear this,
would he understand?
" Adam your
mother died a long time ago, do you know what that means?"
" That my
mother went to heaven?" Adam asked
" Yes that's
right Adam"
" Why what
happened to her?" he asked sounding desperate.
Ben felt his heart
tighten, he hated to have to tell him any of this
but he had known
this time would come.
" She died
about a week after you were born. Your mother was very
delicate I
guess"
" Did she get
to hold me and stuff, did she like me?"
" Of course
she did" Ben turned his son to face him, " She caled you
her precious boy,
she gave you your name you know. She loved you very
much, just as I
do"
" Then why
did she die, why don't she come back to see me?"
Ben held him to
his chest and rocked him silently for a minute.
" Adam when
someone dies they can't come back"
Adam was quiet and
his head felt heavy against his father's chest.
Ben thought he'd
fallen asleep but he spoke up again
" So I won't
ever see her will I?"
" Yes you
will, someday when you go to heaven, she'll be there waiting
for you" Ben
promised, his heart was aching for his little boy. Adam
looked up at his
father, his face full of concern.
" How will
she know me Papa?"
" Oh Adam,
every mother knows her own son" he assured him.
Adam layed his
head down again, and grew silent once more.
Ben could feel his
tiny heart beating and sat wondering what this
information would
do to him, how it would change him. Then Adam asked a
question he could
barely get out.
" Papa what
will happen to me if you die too?"
Ben shuddered, it
was a fear he himself had grappled with but he was
not about to let
Adam worry about it.
"Adam I'm not
going to die for a long, long, long, time"
" You
promise?" it was just a whisper.
" I promise
with all my heart that I will be your Papa for as long as
you need me."
With that Adam
flung his arms around his father's neck and held on
tight. They stayed
that way until Adam's arms loosened
and his body grew
heavy with sleep.
When Ben returned
to the present he could almost feel the familiar
pressure on his
chest.
***********************************
CHAPTER 5
Adam was ready and
waiting for his father early the next morning. He
hadn't slept much
the night before, instead he had lain awake worrying
about running into
his tormenter. He could only hope they'd go straight to
the International
Hotel and then come home.
On their ride to
town Ben tried to carry on idle conversation, even
though Adam wasn't
one to participate in it. He was only getting yes and
no answers to his
questions so he decided to just enjoy the quiet.
As soon as they
got to town, Ben handed Adam an envelope he'd removed
from his
saddlebag.
" Take these
papers over to the laywers office for me, these are the
ones you forgot to
deliver a few weeks ago. Let Hiram know I'm in town and
where we'll be for
the day. I'll see if I can talk Mr. Troutman into a
late lunch at
Garsons"
" We
shouldn't be all day though, we ought'a be home by dinner"
" Well Adam I
figured as long as I'm here I can look up some more of
our best
customers"
Adam frowned but
turned to cross the street to the lawyers office. At
least this way
Clif could only single him out and would never have to meet
his father.
Strangley though
Adam never saw Clif, he returned to the Hotel
wondering if Clif
had tired of the game and left town. He certainly hoped
so because he was
growing tired of it.
They finished
their business in town after five and Ben was quite
pleased with the
days accomplishments. They stepped out onto the porch and
Adam walked
immediately to his horse. Ben watched him, he wasn't quite
ready to leave
town though.
" Hold on
Son, why don't we go over to the saloon and get a drink
before we head
home?"
Adam looked toward
the saloon and then back at his father.
" Pa I'm
kind've full and we've had plenty to drink"
" Oh come on
Adam, how often do we get to town like this?"
" Yeah but
it's gonna be dark soon, we ought'a get on home"
Ben smiled and
said, " Oh nonsense, we got a full moon tonight and
since when are you
afraid of the dark"
With that he
turned and started walking towards the saloon knowing
Adam would follow.
He didnt' right away, instead he stood undecided. He
could just hop on
his horse and head on home alone rather than risk running
into Clif. But he
decided not to let Clif affect his day and went after
his father.
Adam scanned the
tables and bar as soon as they walked through the
swinging doors,
there was no sign of Clif. He followed his father to a
table and they sat
down.
Once they were
seated he glanced around again, his vision temporarily
blocked by one of
the saloon girls. Ben smiled and greeted her warmly.
" Well good
evening Betty, how about a couple beers for my son and I?"
" Coming
right up Mr. Cartwright. Hello Adam, nice to see you" she
said, and winked
at him before sauntering off.
" Adam are
you blushing?" Ben said dramatically.
" Not exactly
Pa, she's not my type"
" Not refined
and educated enough for you Son?"
" Now Pa I
admit to having a few faults, but one thing I'm not is shallow"
Ben laughed and
leaned back in his chair enjoying himself. Betty
returned shortly
with their drinks and placed them on the table. Ben payed
including a
generous tip. She thanked him with a big smile and turning to
Adam said,"
Adam by the way Clif was looking for you earlier. He was here
around lunchtime,
but I'm sure he's back out at the ranch by now."
This time Adam's
face really turned red and his father saw it. He was
stuck now, but
also curious.
" What
ranch?" he asked her.
" Oh silly
didn't you know, he's been working at the Lazy K for weeks"
Adam was about to
ask her more but she was called to the bar. He didn't
have to look up to
know what was coming.
" Who's Clif,
that name doesn't sound familiar?"
Adam looked around
the room, trying to focus on anything else before
answering.
" Oh he's
just someone I knew in Boston, he's been in town for awhile
looking for work,
guess he found it."
" Why didn't
you offer him a job at the Ponderosa, we could've used him
a few weeks
ago?"
Adam's face
colored again as he studied his drink
" Pa we
weren't exactly close friends, he probably wouldn't have
accepted it."
Ben knew he was on
to something simply because Adam was having a
difficult time
looking at him. That had always been a sure sign that he
was hiding
something. Ben wanted to get more information from him but an
old friend came
over to the table and joined them. Nearly an hour passed
when Ben
announced,
" Well we
better get on home, the boys are probably waiting on us"
Adam looked
greatly relieved, and stood without hestitation.
"Aren't you
going to finish your drink?" Ben asked him.
" No I don't
want it, I'll wait for you outside."
He walked out to
where the horse were tied and looked up and down the
streets. Now he
knew Clif was staying, but why would he hang around except
to carry out some
kind of cause. Did he want revenge, was he dangerous?
Or was he just a
man looking for a place to settle down. But why here in
this territory?
Why didn't he just go home and re-establish himself with
his family, maybe
things were different there now?
Ben broke into his
thoughts as he approached the horses. He stood on
the deck and
looked around.
" What a
beautiful day we had, I could use some more of those"
Me too Adam
thought sarcastically, but he didn't say anything. They
mounted up and
rode out of town. Ben had been right about the full moon,
they could clearly
see the path back to the ranch.
Ben was thinking
about how to bring up the subject of Adam's friend but
decided to let it
go for awhile. They rode along in silence letting the
horses pick their
own trail home. Adam was thinking about when he and his
brothers were
younger and how they'd tie the reins in a knot and lay back
on the horses and
let them find the way home. He suddenly smiled
remembering a day
when Little Joe fell asleep on his horse and had fallen
to the ground.
" I like
riding at night" he heard his father say, " the darkness makes
you feel isolated
from everything. Is that why you used to go off alone at
night when you
were younger?"
Adam looked at his
father and nodded, " I still do sometimes when
something is
bothering me"
" Yeah I
know, I've noticed you missing a few times in the last couple
of weeks"
Adam smiled
realizing his father had snared him again. It was going to
come out now but
in a way he was relieved. He had always been able to tell
his father his
troubles. There wasn't anyone else in his life he trusted
more. Yet for some
reason it was hard to open up.
" So what's
been troubling you lately Son?" Ben asked
When Adam didn't
answer right away, he pursued it further
" Does this
Clif fella have something to do with it?"
Adam simply
nodded, he reached down to pull strands of his horses mane
out from under the
saddle blanket before speaking.
" Clif was
cheating on exams at school and I reported it to the Dean.
He was expelled
from school and says it ruined his life and I'm
responsible. He
hounds me everytime he sees me, sometimes he actually
makes threats. I
don't know if he's serious or even anything to worry
about, I just keep
hoping he'll get tired of it all and leave town. That's
why I was
surprised wehn Betty said he was working at the Kelly ranch. I
don't get it Pa,
he tried to give me the impression that he was a dangerous
drifter and yet
he's been hanging around this area for almost two months,
what does he
really want?"
Ben shook his
head, " That I don't know Son, you'd have to ask him"
" I don't
even want to talk to him anymore, I just want him to leave"
The horses kept
picking up their pace so they knew they were close to
home. They held
them back until they could see the barn come into view and
then they let them
go a little.
They tended the
horses quickly and without talking. Ben turned when he
saw a shadow in
the doorway, it was Joe.
" Where've
you guys been, I was getting worried?"
Ben saw he and
Adam exchange a glance and realized that Adam must have
already told Joe
about his problem with Clif, that was odd.
" We were
just taking care of business Joseph, no need to worry.
Where's your
brother Hoss?"
" He went to
bed a little while ago, it's almost ten you know?"
" Is it? What
time were we supposed to be back?" Ben asked.
Joe stared at him,
took the hint and turned to go back inside.
" He was
really worried about us" Adam stated with a smile
" Yes he was,
he'll make a good parent someday"
Ben said smiling
too with a wink. He blew out the lantern and put an
arm around Adam as
they walked inside.
Inside the door
they removed their hats, coats, and gunbelts. Joe was
watching them from
the sofa, and Ben had a feeling he was waiting to talk
to Adam. Adam was
thinking the same thing so Ben decided to leave them
alone for a few
minutes.
" Well I'm
gonna see if there's any coffee left" he announced and went
into the kitchen.
Adam went to sit on the sofa and looked at his brother.
" Well what
happened, did Clif start something?" Joe asked
" No nothing
happened, Clif wasn't even in town. But guess what?"
Seeing Joe was
waiting he went on , " He has a job at the Lazy K, been
working there for
some time"
" Doing what?
He sure didn't look like a cattleman"
" I don't
know, but I intend to find out"
Joe sat back and
rested his head, taking a deep breath.
" Well at
least you didn't have to explain his problem to Pa"
" Well
actually I did tell Pa about it, most of it"
Joe picked his
head up, started to say something, then changed his
mind. He put his head
against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes.
For some reason he
felt hurt that Adam had told Ben, he liked being the
only one Adam had
shared the problem with. He felt disappointed and didn't
even know why.
A few minutes
later Ben came from the kitchen carrying a cup of coffee
and sat down on
the opposite side of Adam as he moved over.
" It's still
hot if you want some?" Ben said
Adam shook his
head and Ben looked around him and saw that Joe was asleep.
He smiled and then
turned back to his eldest.
" There's
something I wanted to ask you about your friend"
Adam looked at him
expectantly
" Well you
said Clif wanted you to take responsibility for waht
happened. How do
you feel about that?"
Adam looked
confused by the question, he didn't know how to answer that.
" What I mean
is, do you feel responsible for him?"
Adam was going to
say no right away, but couldn't. He stood up and
walked to the
fireplace to watch the flames.
" You know Pa
if you'd asked me that then, I would've said no, now I'm
not sure. I mean
don't I have some of the responsibility for the direction
his life has
taken?" Adam said turning to face his father halfway through
the sentence.
When their eyes
met Ben said softly but seriously,
" You're the
only one who can answer that Son"
Adam dropped his
head and turned back to the fire. Seeing this
reaction Ben rose
and stood behind him. He put his hands on Adam's
shoulders and
massaged them lightly.
" Adam I
think as long as you have any doubt at all, your Mr. Donovan
will hang around.
Maybe he senses your doubt and that's why he continues
to antagonize you.
You can't second guess yourself, once you know in your
heart who the
blame lies with, you can confront him and walk away from it."
Adam nodded,
straightened up, and faced his father again.
" Of course
you're right, and I'll do that. I'm sorry I didn't tell
you about it
sooner"
" Well I'm
glad you did, looked like a heavy load" Ben said and Adam
smiled slightly.
Ben wanted to hug him but didn't. As usual he resisted
the impulse for
fear of embarassing him. Instead he put a hand on his
shoulder, "
Why don't you go on to bed now, and try to get some sleep tonight"
" Yeah I
will, thanks Pa. Goodnight" and he walked up the stairs, his
steps heavy.
Ben turned to his
youngest, who was breathing heavier now. He leaned
down to take hold
of his shoulder and shook lightly. His head rolled a
little.
" Joseph,
come on wake up Son"
He slowly opened
his eyes looking around with confusion.
" Geez, I must've
fallen asleep, what time is it?"
" Past your
bedtime, come on" Ben said pulling him to his feet. He
followed him
wearily up the stairs, mornings came too early he thought.
*****************************
CHAPTER 6
Ben sat atop the
fence watching his sons herd a group of
colts into the
holding pen. He sat with a prespective buyer and
his foreman as the
colts filed in.
The colts milled
around, one would occasionally flatten his
ears and kick out
or nip the others. But for the most part they
stayed huddled in
a corner watching the humans on horseback.
" How many
you got this year Ben?" Walt Troutman asked.
" Sixty three
total Walt, we got about half here and we'll
bring the rest
down tomorrow"
Walt turned back
to the herd studying them closely. He was
not a new customer
to the Ponderosa, but he was a steady one.
" I can buy
maybe twenty five this year, maybe more next.
You say these have
been broke?"
" They've
been green broke, you want the boys to put one
through it's
paces?"
Walt looked
thoughtful a moment than shook his head. He
motioned the boys
to get the colts moving again. Walt put on a
rodeo every year
and then sold the stock afterward to out of town
buyers, he almost
always made a good profit.
" You get the
rest down and I can have my pick right?"
" Same as
always Walt, you want them?"
Walt turned to Ben
with his hand out, " You got a deal Mr.
Cartwright, I'll
be back in three days, fifty dollars a head,
cash"
Ben took his hand
and they shook on it to secure the deal.
Then Walt hopped
down from the fence walked to his horse and rode
off with his
foreman.
Ben was soon
joined by his sons, who looked at him
expectantly. Adam
spoke for all of them, " Well?"
Ben smiled with
pleasure, " He'll take twenty five, he'll be
back on Monday to
pick em out"
" Wow he buys
more of them every year, maybe next year he'll
buy the whole
passle of em" Hoss declared.
" Mr Bishop
wants ten, fifteen for Mr. Thurman, that's fifty
bought already. If
we have to we can sell the rest at the fall
auction" Adam
offered thoughtfully.
" Well I want
to talk to Andy McKaren too, he may want to
buy a handfull of
them too." Ben added.
" This has to
be the best year we've ever had with our
stock" Joe
exclaimed
" Well let's
hope we do just as well with our other
ventures" Ben
said turning to Adam " Which reminds me, let's get
to that tree
marking Adam"
Ben climbed down
and untying his horse said, " Hoss you and
Joe tend these
horses, then go bring the bull down"
Joe groaned, how he
hated that ornery thing, and he just got
meaner every year.
He couldn't wait for the first excuse to get
off the ranch.
Hoss studious as ever only said, " Yes sir Pa,
you fellas gonna
be back for supper?"
Adam mounted his
horse and rode up beside his father as Ben
said, " We'll
do our best Hoss, you be sure and save us some"
Hoss blushed and
smiled and waved them on, " Aw get out'a her
Pa"
They all laughed
and Ben and Adam rode off. Joe and Hoss went
straight to work
opening gates to give the colts full access to
the pen and more
room to move around. Then Hoss moved the
buckboard
alongside the fence and started throwing some hay over.
Joe joined him and
they were soon engrossed in their work. As
they were working
a rider came galloping up in the distance.
Both of them
stopped to watch the dust cloud approach to try and
see who it was. It
was Frank, the telegrapher, and schoolday
friend of Joe's.
Joe was absolutely thrilled to see anyone
outside of the
ranch.
" Hey Frank,
it's great to see you. What'd you do find us a
new rig?"
Referring to a pasttime he and Frank had enjoyed for
some time. They
often would find old rigs, fix them up like new
and then resell
them.
" Oh no, this
is much better. How would you like to go to a
dance tomorrow
night?"
Joe jumped down
from the wagon, " A dance, where?" he asked
his face lit up
with excitement.
" In Virginia
City, the bankers daughter is home from school
and Mr. Weems is
celebrating. You remember Jenny don't you?"
" Oh boy do
I" Joe said catching Franks wink. " I'm sure I can
go but I gotta
check with Pa tonight. What time are they gonna
start this
shindig?"
" Seven
o'clock, come on Joe you gotta be there"
" I know,
look I'll be there. I just gotta let Pa know I'm
going. You just
wait for me and make sure she saves me a dance"
Frank slapped Joe
on the arm, smiling broadly
" Great you
got it, I'll see you there then"
Frank practically
ran back to his horse, hopped on and turned
to wave. Joe
smiled back at him and returned the wave, " See you
tomorrow
night" he hollered after him. He knew his father would
let him go and he
couldn't wait. He was tired of the hot
relentles work and
dawn to dusk schedule they'd been on for
weeks. He walked
back to Hoss feeling just a little less tired.
He told Hoss about
the dance and asked him to go along.
" No thanks
little brother, I'm saving myself for the end of
the summer hoe
down, the daddy of them all. That's the best one
and everyone is
there. Besides by tomorrow I'll be too tired for
any dancing"
" Oh
well" Joe said in mock sadness " I'll miss you. It must
be rough getting
old"
Hoss answered that
with a forkfull of hay on his head. In no