THREE BRIDES FOR THREE BROTHERS



Written by:  Monette Bebow-Reinhard

Spring of 1859, Utah Territory.  


    Ada Remington rapped on the door twice.  Town drunks and vagabonds lurked around corners of this nasty boarding house so her daughters kept the door barricaded.  Ada could picture them counting on their fingers the minutes when they could be on their way again.  Half a dozen times last night while they were readying for bed, woman-sick men with too many swallowed whiskeys pounded on the window asking for a gander at the girls.  Even she, a stout and white- haired widow, brought attention from all directions tagging after her.  If only she had a son she could claim to protect them, instead of three daughters!
    "Girls!  Listen up."  She announced after MaryAnn, her raven-haired but sour-faced beauty, let her in.  Christine, open-hearted and emotional, sat on the bed wrapping yarn, and Jane sat like a lump on the floor, staring at nothing except her boots, untied and half off her feet.  They were the largest size she could find, but they still pinched her feet.  "I found us a new horse to pull our wagon, we can be on our way as soon as we're packed."
    "Ma," Jane crawled up off the floor and sat on the bed heavily, bouncing Christine.  He pulled off the wig and shook it.  "How long do we have to keep up this silly sham?"
    "As long as it takes, Jake, dear.  I'm doing all I can.  Do you think I like seeing my only son dressed up like the daughters I have too many of already?  You think I wouldn’t rather have my old home back?"
    "We can’t go home yet, they’re still looking for him.  I mean her." MaryAnn pouted as she carefully folded the paper she had been reading.  Christine giggled as she usually did whenever anyone referred to Jake as her and her distraction caused her yarn to start unraveling.
    "I will do anything to keep you out of jail, Jake, so I ‘m not complaining.  All I ask is that you don’t complain either.  And remember it's what your father would want, rest his darling soul."  She opened her travel bag and stared into it, puzzled.  “Did someone borrow a pair of my stockings again?”
    "Yeah, but he’d change his mind if he saw me in this wig."  Jake pulled it back on again and blew the hair out of his mouth before getting up to gather his belongings.  He tended to be the first packed, since he couldn’t bear to carry women’s things and wasn’t allowed any men’s.
    "Don't feel bad, Jake."  MaryAnn said.  "You look so pleasing in a wig.  Why, I'll bet you'll be hitched before either of us.  And to a real handsome buck, too."
    "Well, it ain't hard being prettier than either of you."  He folded his arms across his padded chest and smirked at her.
    "Oooh, listen to him, Christine."
    "Yeah, I think the fancy toiletries he's been using have been going to his head.  Before you know it, he's going to want to stay a girl!"  This gave Christine a case of choking fits.  She fell backward on the bed, and even her stoic mother had to chuckle.
    Jake yanked the wig off again.  It was true enough how convincing he looked as a gal, and that made him all the more annoyed.  "Mama, I'd rather be in that St. Louis jail, right now."
    "Oh, come on, the three of you.  Aren't your hopes up, Jake, since I got that letter from Nora?  Let's get down to that wagon and start our search for this man who can find us some justice, this Mr. Ben Cartwright."

    Adam and Hoss sat on their horses outside Miss Abigail's house waiting for younger brother Joe.   Pa paid a goodly amount to have Joe brush up on his reading and math.  He was one of the Genoa board members, not because he lived in town but because he owned a lot of the land around the town and he was pushing to build a school house.  At the rate the vote was going, Ben often told them, his sons will all be too smart to use it.  That is, if Joe starts paying attention to his lessons.  Joe was now 16 and taking on more and more of the ranch responsibilities.  He didn’t have much time left for schooling.
      Adam had already been to college, and turned out smart and handsome enough to win any girl's heart in town, but he had already looked them clean over.  Miss Abigail took a spark to him, but he had no spark in return.  Every month or so he would try to teach Joe some himself to get out of these occasional trips to make sure Joe came home.  But Joe, whose boyish charms kept anyone from being mad for long, told Pa it was too much fun driving Adam crazy to learn from him.
    "So what do you think, Hoss?"  Adam asked his big brother.  Hoss could rival anyone in size but tended to defer to his older brother in wisdom.  It always made his big chest purely bust when Adam asked his opinion, and Adam knew it.  
    "I don't know, Adam.  I don't reckon Pa will go for it."
    "If Pa doesn't like the idea of the dance being at Lucky Bill's Hotel maybe we could hold it at our ranch."
    "A dance at our ranch?  Ha!  That will be something to see."
    "Now I know Pa can be unreasonable about some things, but he has had parties, dinner guests.  How much farther is it to go to have some dancing too?"  Adam squinted up into the sun, spring had been a dry one in the Sierras so far this year but doggone if that wasn't rain clouds he saw.
    "But Adam, even if Pa doesn't mind the dancing, what's he gonna do when we tell him why we're doing it?"
    "So do we always tell him everything?  I don't."  He smiled, his dark eyes sparkling, as Hoss thought this over. "Remember that bull that got out because you and me wanted to see if we could tame it?  Remember what we told Pa happened?"
    "Oh.  Oh-ho, yeah."  Hoss's face looked like a plump ripe tomato as he chuckled in good-natured embarrassment.  "I don't think he believed us though, Adam, telling him we wanted to check his foot coz it looked like he was limping."
     Adam rubbed his chin, already itchy with the whiskers of the day. "Well, we were kinda young."  He straightened up in the saddle, getting serious again.  "But, point is, we don't have to tell him what we got planning, except...Joe's 16 now, a man, and we want to celebrate."
    "Adam, I'll be dadburned if that's not why you always beat me in checkers."
    "Now don't go getting all worked up."  Adam lowered his voice some as the front door of Miss Abigail's modest white square house opened.  "We're only trying to prove a point.  The boy has to learn some humility."
    "Yeah.  Ha-ha.  That's right."
    Adam shushed Hoss as Little Joe strolled out behind a young blonde girl.  She was giggling over her shoulder at him as he kept trying to grab hold of her shawl but missing, deliberately teasing her from what Adam and Hoss could tell.  When he saw Hoss and Adam waiting he straightened his shoulders and sombered his expression in imitation of them.
    "He'll want a reason why we're waiting for him again."  Adam’s mouth puckered pensively.
    "Yup, I reckon.  You want to give it this time?"
    "No, Hoss, you go ahead."
    But by the time Joe got on his horse and rode up to them he was smiling, his wavy hair mussed to match the twinkle in his eyes.  "Afternoon, gents.  All done with work?  You should go to school with me, you could take it easy all day and flirt with the girls like I do."
    "Oh, I don't know, Joe," Hoss said.  "I think those girls there are a might young for us, wouldn't you say, Adam?"  Hoss hitched his horse forward and the others followed without encouragement.  Adam's horse trotted on ahead to lead, as was its liking.
    "Still wet behind the ears, I'd say."  Adam agreed, winking over at Hoss.
    "You two, you're so jealous.  You gotta go for the younger ones, you know, because all the ones as old as you two are gone and got hitched already, you're both too slow."  Joe tilted his black hat down at an arrogant angle over one eye.
    "Ah, the impertinence of youth," Adam sighed.
    "You know what, Adam, I think I've courted more girls than you have, and you're twice as old as me," Joe added with a laugh.
    "Well now, younger brother, that's easy when you're not fussy about the girl," Adam smiled as Hoss on the other side of Joe laughed easy.
    "Yeah, little Joe, you---." but Hoss was cut off when the three of them pulled up short.  A poor looking homesteading wagon was coming down the road toward them at a faster pace than seemed comfortable for it.
    A well dressed older woman held the reins with more expertise than showed in her face.  As she pulled the wagon to a stop her three daughters sat up in back of the uncovered wagon.  Just as quickly one of them sat back down again.  Even with their faces in need of a scrubbing and their bonnets tilted askew from the dry granite soil tossed at them from the wagon's wheels, their attractiveness was hard for the Cartwright boys to miss.
    "Need some help, ma'am?"  Adam asked.
    "Thank you, dear, I do appear to be all turned around.  Isn't there a town around here with a sheriff's office?"  She glanced back into the wagon before wiping her sleeve across her wind blown face.
    "I guess the closest thing to it would be Genoa, and the closest thing to a sheriff would be Roy Coffee, he does his darndest but this area may be a little rougher than you’re used to."  Adam caught the eyes of the brunette and smiled back.  "Or maybe not."  He turned in his saddle and pointed.  "Just a mile ahead of you, ma'am, you wouldn't have missed it."
    "Oh, what a relief."  She squinted at him.  "Say, you wouldn't happen..." she closed her mouth tight again.  "Never mind, sorry to bother you."  She slapped the reins hard as though a sudden fire urged her backside.  "Thank you!"  she called back where they watched the wagon kicking at the dust in the road.

    "You can sit up now, Jake, they can't see you anymore," Christine said, poking him.
    Jake lay with his head against the side of the wagon, cheek resting on the top of the flour bag.  His eyes were shut and his wig bounced with every rut in the road.
    "Is he asleep, Christine?"
    "Oh, I doubt it.  Jake!"  When she ripped off his wig Jake squinted and sat up slowly, scratching his head.
    "Thanks.  That's better."
    "Did you see how those fellas looked at you, Jake, even in that tiniest second you gave them?  You're just the purtiest thing."  MaryAnn smirked.
    "Ah, that does it.  I'd rather go to jail, or be hung for a horse thief."  He struggled to his knees as the wagon bounced around.  He threw one leg over the side but didn't get far as a rut in the road and MaryAnn's firm grip sent him backward again.
    "Now listen, do you want to ruin everything for Mama?" MaryAnn hissed in his ear.   "She's sold our home, given up the store, all to try and get you cleared and keep you safe at the same time.  We've been hiding out for three months, Jake, just because you can't stay out of trouble.  Honestly, mama should have quit after the two of us."
    "You think I don’t know how long it’s been?  Three months of wearing this thing.  I don't know how you women can stand it."  He beat the wig a few times as though to make it behave.  
    "You just better hope that friend of Mama's is right about this Ben Cartwright and that he'll help us," Christine said.  "I'm tired of feeling like a criminal instead of like a woman."
    "Doesn't bother me," Jake said with a sigh.
    She hugged herself.  "I yearn for a man's arms around me."
    "Oh-ho!" Jake added, shuddering.
    "Maybe we'll be lucky."  MaryAnn grinned.  "Maybe this sheriff will be young, and instead of taking us to the Cartwrights he'll take a liking enough to you to help us himself!"
    She tweaked Jake's cheek and plopped the wig on his head as he slumped back down in the wagon.

    Thunder rolled over the tops of the pines and echoed off the side of the Sierra foothills.  It was still several hours before the sun set, the unnatural shade to the trail brought by the clouds echoing a need to burst through the mountains.
    "Looks like we're going to get that end to the spring drought you predicted, Hoss," Joe said.
    "You mean, my corns predicted."
    "The only thing your corns predict is that your boots are getting tight." Adam turned in the saddle and looked off to the right, where the grass had been pounded clean under the hooves of cattle.  "Say, didn't we have Alvie and the boys take the #3 herd through here just a day or two ago?  Let's follow their trail to make sure they didn't lose any."
    Joe groaned. "That's just like you, older brother.  Always finding more ways to make my life miserable."
    "Yup.  Happens every time I see you enjoying yourself.  It means I'm getting lax in raising you proper."  He and Joe exchanged a grin.
    A bolt of lightning lit up the sky as it shot through the mountains, startling the horses.  The clap of thunder followed close on its tail.
    "Reckon we should move a might faster?" Hoss looked nervously over his shoulder.
    Joe laughed.  "No wonder you're not hitched yet, Hoss.  You're too darned cautious."
    "Hah!  Me cautious?  Why, the way you were staring at those gals in the wagon I thought your mouth was gonna fall off for fear of having nothing to say."
    "Ho-ho, not me.  I was just waiting for the right chance, that's all."
    "Is that right?" Adam grinned.  He shifted in the saddle and held the reins tighter, his horse anxious to head out of the storm.
    "Why, I'll bet you I could have any one of those gals eating out of my hand in no time.  Better than either of you."
    "Hoss, you hear that?  Our younger brother here, barely out of the cradle, is willing to bet that he's a born Casanova.”
    "A who?" Joe asked, as Hoss looked puzzled.
    Adam chuckled, his dark countenance alive with mischief. "Ladies man.  See, Hoss and me, we'd like to learn from you.  You'd like that, wouldn't you, teaching us something for once?"
    "Hey, you name it, Adam, always glad to help." Joe was sitting tall in the saddle, almost matching his brothers.  "I sure enough could teach you older brothers a thing or two."
    "You show us..." Adam looked over his shoulder as though making sure no one was around to overhear, "...by winning over that shy gal - that is, if her family sticks around."
    "That shy gal - in the wagon?"  Joe frowned, thinking.
    Hoss's face lit up.  "Yeah.  Yeah!  That would do it, Joe.  I sure could learn a lot watching you court a shy gal."
    "Hey, why not?  Nothing hard about that.  She was quite a beauty, too, from what little I saw of her.  But that's if she sticks around.  I'm not gonna go chasing after her.  No sir, Pa wouldn't like that."
    "Oh, right, if they ride on, the whole bet's off." Adam agreed quickly.  "But here's the deal.  You have to win her over before either me or Hoss have any success with the other two.  Which one you want, Hoss?"
    "Huh?  Oh, I kinda fancy that light haired one with the..." he gestured around his head.  "You know."
    "You do?   All right, I'll take the sulky one with the hair all over her face.  And Joe, may the best man win."
    "Yeah!" Joe was practically bursting.  "And who knows, the winner could be the one who ends up married by the end of the summer.  Let's make that part of the bet!  First one married---.”
    Adam held up a hand.  "Now that's getting a little carried away.  Just some friendly courting, that's all.  We’ll just let the rest of it takes its natural course.”
    Joe nodded.  He wasn't going to admit it to his older brothers, but he wouldn't mind seeing one or both of them hitched.  But heck, he wouldn't even mind it if it was him.  That shy one sure was fetching.  What little he saw of her.
    They left the main road, following a trail made by the hooves of cattle, the land still rocky but well traveled over, steep in spots yet easy enough for experienced drovers to handle.  The cattle trail was leading them to a bluff, but Adam knew that they would then veer north and use the bluff as a natural guide for the cattle.  It made for a more restful final leg back to the ranch for tallying.  Just after a small cleft in the canyon Hoss pulled his horse up short.
    "Something wrong, Hoss?"  Adam asked.
    "Some steer tracks going off in the wrong direction."
    Adam leaned forward, looking where Hoss was pointing.  "I wouldn't worry about it.  Looks like they were found and brought back."
    Hoss paused, listening, as another crack of thunder shook the sky.  "I don't think so.  Hear that?  One of em's braying."
    "You can hear that?"  Joe's eyes rolled upward.  "Hoo-boy."
    Hoss trotted on ahead.
    "I guess we follow him, Joe."
    Up against a wall of rock in the bluff was an enormous collapse in the ground, forming a natural pit.  By this time they could all hear the steers' wailing.  The three brothers got down off their horses and crouched over the side of the pit.  There were steers down there all right, two young ones, crying and crawling over each other in a vain attempt to get out.
    "So what do we do, Hoss?" Adam asked, in difference to his brother's animal sense.
    "Hey, Hoss, they'll be okay until morning, won't they?  It's getting dark and I just felt some rain on my neck.  We'll be drenched if we don't get moving."
    "Joe, the way they're working themselves up they're going to kill each other long before morning.  I couldn't let no critter die that way."  Hoss shook his head, unable to tear his eyes from the poor critters.
    "But Hoss, if you climb down there and try to get them out they'll kill you!"
    "All right, let's think about this."  Adam said, holding up his hands.  "I know something we can try.  And we've got plenty of hemp."
    
    Hoss was more than willing.  He got his rope and tied one end to the saddle horn on Adam's horse.  He laid on his belly at the edge of the pit, while Adam tied a shank knot with the other end of the hemp rope around his two feet, binding them together.
    "You sure you want to do this, Hoss?"  Adam asked, crouching next to him.  The rain was coming down in sheets now, making it hard to see his brother's face.  "Not going to be easy, even hemp can get slick wet."
    Hoss waited for the thunder to pass.  "Maybe it won't work but we gotta try, anyhow.  Just be ready to pull me up when I tell you."  He held tight to the other rope already knotted in a noose and waited to be lowered.
    Adam stood.  "Joe!  Come over here and keep an eye on Hoss.  I'll take care of getting the horse to move when it's supposed to."  He patted Joe's shoulder.  "Watch him close, and use your hands to signal, up or down.  If he gets in trouble, think fast and holler.”
    Once Hoss was low enough he reached out to the closest steer, but it backed away, frightened.  Hoss could see it was walking funny, but then he noticed the other one was getting ready to charge him.  He opened the knot on the rope, the steer looked bigger down close.
    "Come on, bully, come on.  Show me what you can do."  It couldn't hurt him much even if he didn't duck in time, not enough room for that steer to get up speed, and it was a young ‘un with only nubs for horns.  He heard Joe yell something above him but the steer charged.  He moved his head just in time so the steer connected with his shoulder instead.  Hoss hardly felt it, he was too intent on grabbing the steer's legs.  He held fast, the steer struggled but was too tired to put up much fuss.  Hoss got the rope over his legs and over his head with surprisingly little effort.  Still the steer kicked and bucked, flinging mud in every direction as Hoss pulled the rope tight around the animal's shoulders.
    "You know, if I wanted to eat mud," he said, spitting, "I'd go to Washoe Diggings and get the miner's special."  He looked up.  "Haul me up!"
    Once up out of the hole Hoss handed Joe the rope that was tied to the steer and untied his feet.
    "Hey, Hoss, you should see how red your face is.  Was it hard work hanging there upside down?"  Joe spat rain as he talked, and wiped his eyes clear before pulling his hat down tight again.
    "I think my head swelled up two inches.  I'll never get my hat on again."
    Adam came over to them.  He wiped his face with his sleeve and pulled his hat down farther.  "All that blood rushing to your head maybe give you enough sense to get out of the rain?"  He grinned as he took the rope from Joe to tie to his horse in place of the one tied to Hoss.  He slapped Hoss's soggy shoulder.  "You okay, boy?"
    "Sure, fine, Adam, fine.  Let's pull that cow up."
    Adam looked into the pit at the young steer with the rope over its head and around its front haunches.  "I don't think we'll try pulling him up free.  Gonna have to put you down there again, Hoss, give it some encouragement."
    "Oh, let me, Adam.  I'm old enough to do everything on the ranch now, and some things even better than you!"
    "Yeah, well, good at flirting with the ladies is not the same as pushing a reluctant steer up a sloppy pit."
    "Wish this danged rain would quit," Hoss said, squinting up into the gray sky.  But he said it without conviction, knowing it was senseless to complain about the weather.  He put his feet back into the rope.   Joe ran the other end of Hoss's rope to tie to Adam's horse's saddle, and took the cow's rope to tie to Cochise.  Then he took hold of both horse's bridles and held them apart with his arms out, waiting for Adam's signal.
    Hoss slid back down into the muddy pit, coming alongside the steer.  It stared at him dismally and bleated.  "Tell him to start pulling us up!"  Hoss, as he felt the rope tighten, slapped the butt of the cow.  The steer bucked and cried but started to rise up off the ground, with the added support of Hoss's arms under it.  It was halfway to the top when Hoss allowed himself to look at the other cow, and he saw what had bothered him about it before.  One of its legs was broke.
    Hoss looked up quickly, the cow was beginning to slip.  "Haul it up faster, come on!"   The rain and mud were greasing the rope.  Hoss twisted and got his hands firmer on the cow's rear, his head and shoulder pressing against cowhide.  He grimaced, it felt like the rope around his feet was giving and any second he and the steer were going to end up in a heap at the bottom, with him just a little more than a hunk of flesh under this cow's smelly ole behind.
    He heard Adam yell above him but with the rain in one ear and the other pressed against a wet cow bouncing itself against the wall of the pit he couldn't pay much attention to words.  He was trying hard but couldn't even come up with a prayer....
    Then Adam grabbed his feet and Hoss hung on even tighter to the cow until he felt it being lifted away from him.  And with a final burst of strength as they yelled to the horses pulling, Adam and Joe together gave a yank and got Hoss up on the side of the pit as well.
    The four of them lay in the mud for a minute and then Joe started to laugh, and his brothers joined him.  The steer got to his feet but Joe grabbed the rope.
    "Oh no, not after what we went through.  We're taking you home.  You okay, Hoss?"  Another burst of laughter escaped when he saw the mud mask clinging to where Hoss's face used to be.
    "Guess I'll live anyhow."  He was aching in places he didn’t know he had.
    "What about the other cow?" Adam asked, looking down the pit.
    "Oh," Hoss was trying to catch his breath.  "It's got a broke leg."
    Adam went for his rifle.

    Ben poured two brandies, one for him and one for Ada, after the three girls declined.  He wished that his sons were a little quicker home.  "It's good to hear that Nora is doing well.  It's a bit of a surprise that she even remembers me.  I wasn't in Salt Lake City all that long."
    "What she remembered was your integrity.  And looking at your fine house I would say she's probably right."
    "Probably?"
    "Forgive me, Mr. Cartwright, if I'm reluctant to be free with people I've just met.  I think once you hear my story you'll understand."
    Ben opened his mouth to reply but the crack of thunder stilled him a moment.  "Sounds like we're in for a good one."  Then the rain started, hard and heavy on the roof.  "Roy's in for a drenching for his ride home."
    "Oh dear," Ada said, frowning.
    "Don't feel bad for Roy, rain up here after a dry spring is appreciated from inside or out.  But I think this is a good time to offer you ladies the hospitality of my ranch for the night."
    One gal's face grew considerably sour at the offer, as the other two exchanged glances.  Ben smiled, knowing it was a difficult situation staying the night with strangers.  But the decision was well taken out of their hands.
    "Why don't you make yourself comfortable, Mrs. Remington, and tell me your story."

    The rain wasn't near as heavy at the ranch as it was when they were wrestling in the mud.  Even with the rain they could still feel mud clinging to them, especially Hoss, who would need three baths in a row to come clean again.  That thought didn't make him near as unhappy as being late for vittles.
    They rode into the yard and headed for the barn but stopped short seeing a wagon was blocking the area just inside where they took their horses to bed them down.
    "What do you think?" Adam said.  "Pa make a new purchase?"
    "Ah, let's worry about that later.  I just want to get these horses put away and get some chow in me.  Since I'm the hungriest, I'm bedding my horse first."  Hoss didn’t wait for an argument, and wasn’t given one anyway.
    Just before they reached the door of the house the brothers stopped and brushed themselves off of some of the rain and mud, more out of habit than the belief they could make themselves any more presentable.
    Adam opened the door and they all stepped in.  Adam stopped short, Hoss and Joe bumping into him.  Besides Pa, there were 4 women staring at them.
    "Joe?"  Hoss whispered.  "They yours?"
    "Uh-uh, not mine."
    "They're the ones we met today.  Outside Genoa." Adam stepped forward, wiping his hands on his pants.  "Ladies, it's nice to see you again."  None of them moved.  "Ah....Pa?"  He waited for Ben to make introductions but Ben only laughed.
    "You three are a sight."
    Adam looked down.  "Oh, we were wrestling steer out of a pit."
    "Yeah, you should have seen Hoss.  He was hanging upside down holding a steer---."
    Christine giggled and Joe grinned.  He looked at the shy gal but Jane was staring at his lap.  "Pa, aren't you going to introduce us?"
    Ben shook his head, unable to wipe the grin from his face.  "I always hoped for the time I could introduce my sons to three lovely young ladies all at the same time.  All right, just don't offer your hand right now."  Once everyone had each other's names clear Ben called for Hop Sing, who came running out to Ben.  "Hop Sing, the boys are going to want to clean up.  See to it they have plenty of water."
    “Aw, Pa, can’t we eat first?”
    Ben grinned at Hoss.  “No.”
    Hop Sing stared at each of them in turn and then went back to the kitchen muttering Chinese expostulates under his breath.  The three boys hung up their wet hats carefully and with nods to the ladies, went upstairs.
    "Ranch work is quite hard at times, I gather."
    "It's quite hard most of the time, Ada," Ben said.  "As I was saying, I'll give your dilemma some thought.  You assure me you've told me everything you could..."
    "Oh, everything."  Ada glanced at Jane, but he didn't seem inclined to acknowledge that there was anyone else in the room at the moment.
    "Then you're right, something is not quite flush here."  Ben continued.  "Let me check on a couple of my hunches.  But I have a feeling like you do that your son is unjustly imprisoned.  Now if you don't mind my playing host I'll show you ladies to rooms for the night."
    
    Ben accepted the coffee from Hop Sing as he watched his sons greedily eating the warmed over stew.  "Lucky for you three the ladies weren't hungry or there'd be nothing left of that stew."
    "They seemed embarrassed about being here, especially that shy one," Adam said, with a deliberate glance at Joe.
    "Yeah, hey Pa, why are they here?"  Hoss asked as he sopped his biscuit in the juices of his stew.
    "Well, it's pretty amazing but while we lived in Salt Lake City I made the acquaintance of a Nora Bernard and after all this time she remembered me and told Ada I could help her."
    "From back in Salt Lake City?  Pa, wasn't I only maybe 12?  Hoss wasn't even talking yet."
    "Oh-ho, Adam, I was talking when I was..." he mentally counted, "five."
    "No, Hoss, you were pretty quiet until after Joe was born," Ben said.
    "Why is that, do you suppose?" Hoss looked from Adam to Joe.
    "Probably because Adam was talking all the time," Joe said, laughing.
    "Well then, this Ada Remington must have done some work tracking you down," Adam frowned, ignoring his brother.  "What kind of favor does she want?"
    "Seems her son got himself into a bit of trouble."  When he saw their puzzled expressions he added quickly, "He didn't come because he's in jail right now, awaiting hanging on charges of bank robbery and murder.  One week's time, Ada says, is all the more time she has to help him."
    "It's only natural a ma would think her son's not guilty.  But why not ask Roy to help?" Adam couldn't figure how they fit in to all this.
    "Because Jake already had his trial, was found guilty.  There's nothing Roy can do."
    "What can we do, Pa?  Bust him out before they hang him?" Joe asked.  He was just a little worried about the bet he made with Hoss and Adam.  He had been pretty sure he'd never see that shy girl again.
    "Now settle down, young 'un," Hoss said.  "Pa, you thinking you got an idea how to help?"
    "Yes, I've got something but I've got to think on it for the night.  If I need your help I'll let you know."
    The room’s silence was filled again with the sounds of heavy eating, until Hoss looked over at Adam.  "Uh, Adam, don't you have something to ask Pa?" he asked, still chewing.
    "What?  Oh!”  Adam sat back, wiping his mouth with a napkin.  “Say Pa, Hoss and me have been thinking...."
    "Uh-oh," Joe said, rolling his eyes.
    "Joe here didn't get to have much of a party on his 16th birthday what with the bad weather and all.  You always said when one of us Cartwrights reaches 16 he's a man.  And I...I think we ought to celebrate."  He leaned back and folded his arms over his chest.  In his clean white shirt he looked almost angelic.
    "You do?"  Ben looked from Adam's somber, almost querulous face to the smirk on Hoss's, to Joe's of total innocent surprise.  "Well, that's mighty nice of you to consider your younger brother like this.  Why, I think a party is a fine idea.  Who do you have in mind to invite?"
    "Well, Pa," Hoss said as Adam silently handed the rope to him.  "We were thinking that we could invite everyone we know, you know, and we could grill half a steer in the yard and have Slinky Rutherford play his guitar---."
    "And Butch Johnson plays a mean harmonica," Adam added, "so that people can even dance...if they've a mind to."
    "Dance?"  Ben paused, his heavy brows furled in thought.  "It's been awhile since I've..." He slapped his leg and stood.  "By golly, that's a great idea.  There's enough settlers living around here now.  Maybe it'll even encourage one of you boys to take a shine to one of the neighboring girls."
    "You just never know about that," Adam said as he stole a glance at Hoss.  "I think we have to make sure we invite every single one of them."
    "I don't know, Pa.  I don't really think I need a party."  Joe was looking just a little green.
    "Sure you do, Joe.  Why, you’ve made friends with just practically all the gals around here, ain’t ya?"  Hoss slipped his big arm across Joe's chair and gave Joe a squeeze.  "And Pa, we could even invite Mrs. Remington and her 3 fine daughters."
    "Now wait a min---."
    Hoss gave his brother a quick bear squeeze.  "Yes sir, Pa, this is going to be one humdinger of a party."
    "It sure is, Pa," Joe grunted, giving Ben a sick grin.
    "That settles it."  Adam rubbed his hands together and got to his feet.  "Come on Hoss, we've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.  Let's get some sleep."
    Adam and Hoss bounded up the stairs as Ben watched Joe stare at his plate.
    "Joe?  Do you know what those two are up to?"
    Joe dragged himself up and walked to the stair.  He turned back.  "It's not easy being the youngest, Pa."  He trudged up the stairs.
    Ben laughed, shaking his head as Hop Sing cleared the table.

    "Ma!"  Jake threw his wig on one of the two single beds in the room he had to share with his mother.  "How could you say that?  How could you say that I done committed murder!  How could you lie?"  He reached up inside the dress and pulled out the paddings he used to affect a more womanly posture.
    "Lie?  Darling Jake, might I remind you you've killed many a chicken in your day?"
    "Now that's not the same and you know it."  Jake plopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling with his fingers drumming impatiently across his slender flat-chested bosom. "You promised you'd tell Mr. Cartwright that I was with you.  Not in jail."
    "I know I did, son, but I don't trust him yet.  I know he's the fine, moral, upstanding sort, but until he truly believes you're innocent, it would be wrong to tell him you're here.  He may feel obligated to the law."  Ada looked out the window over the darkening grounds.  The rain had stopped but she had no interest in leaving.  "This is a fine place, isn't it?  Better than the room they offered us in Genoa."
    "Ma, I don't like this.  He has sons."
    "You could do worse, dear."
    "Ma!"
    "Oh," she turned to him and laughed.  "I'm sorry.  I forget which daughter I'm talking to sometimes.  Now close your eyes, your mama wants to get into her sleeping gown."  She started to untie her lacy bodice.
    Jake groaned and pulled the wig over his face.  "I'll just never survive."

    Adam lay in the dirt stunned a moment.  When his head stopped ringing he heard the horse
kicking up off to the north end of the corral so he rolled on his side and got quickly to his feet.
    "Bravo, Adam!  Longest time yet!"  Cal called from his perch on the fence.
    "Guess there's hope then."  He glanced back at the mare as he brushed off.  She was calmer now, snorting softly.  "Reminds me of a gal this morning at breakfast."  He climbed up on the fence next to Cal.
    "Oh yeah?  How's that?"
    "Pa invited these ladies to stay the night because of the storm.  So at breakfast this morning I offered the youngest gal a chair but she grabbed it away from me, telling me she could help herself just fine.  She had a strange sound to her voice, now that I think about it.  So I backed off and sat down next to her sister, who was a little more obliging.  In fact, now that I'm through here for the day I'm going back to take MaryAnn riding."
    "That the strange sounding one?"  Cal asked, looking a little lost in all the explanation.
    "The youngest one?  Oh no, Hoss and I are letting Joe have her."  Adam chuckled.  "In fact, we're inviting them to a dance Saturday night at our ranch.  We're going to see what kind of luck Joe has with her."
    "Joe?  With a gal who won't let him pull out a chair?  He'll feel like you just did a minute ago, in the dirt with the air knocked out."  They both laughed.  "Hey, can I get Sam and some of the other fellas to come to this dance?"
    "Sure, whoever's got himself a clean shirt to wear can come."
    "Clean shirt."  Cal said as he and Adam jumped down off the fence.  "And dancing.  Say, maybe something will become of this part of the territory yet."
    "Yeah," Adam laughed.  "If nothing comes from the diggings, at least we'll have a bonanza seeing Joe romancing 10 gals at the same time!"
    
    "For the last time, Ma, I'm not going to stay behind with all those men around," Jake whispered as he climbed up in the wagon next to Ada.  He adjusted his wig and slumped dejectedly in the seat.
    "Straighten up dear, that posture doesn't become a lady."      
    "Thanks a lot, Ma, you're as bad as my sisters.  Can't we at least tell Mr. Cartwright about me?  That Joe is too friendly for my liking."
    "He'll take no for an answer soon enough.  Tell you what, once we see what Ben says to the sheriff, I'll decide if we can trust him."
    "That's good, because if I have to take much more from that Joe---."
    When Ben came out of the house Ada discreetly kicked Jake in the ankle.  Jake's eyes widened with pain but he forced a smile.
    "Sorry to keep you ladies waiting.  Hop Sing and I had to go over the menu for the party.  He can really get himself worked up sometimes."  After untying the horse Ben climbed up next to Ada and accepted the reins from her.  "Now I can't promise what help Roy can give, but the way I'll explain it, he'll sure give it a go."  He glanced over Ada at Jane.  "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to stay at the ranch?  Joe's planning a long afternoon of cutting wood and wouldn't mind the company."
    "Oh no," Jane giggled shyly, looking down.  "I just...I mean, I couldn't really...wood chips make me sneeze."
    "Oh.  Then let's go."  Ben didn't hold up much of his end of the conversation so the talk dwindled into silence.  They seemed honest enough, these women, but there was something odd about them.  He couldn't put his finger on it.  This young girl seemed almost too shy.  But it could be she just missed her brother.  Ben hoped he could help them.  Not only because he tended to get restless at times out here in the pines with new faces few and far between, but because then he can


learn the whole story.  He didn't know it for sure, but there was something they hadn’t told yet.
    
    "You mean you looked through all of those posters that are sent to you from Sacramento and you couldn't find anything with his name on it?"  Ben looked over at Ada.  "Jake Remington?"
    "Nothing, Ben and I looked through them two times over."
    "So what does it mean, Roy?"  Ben led Ada and Jane to Roy's two chairs and turned back.
    "Could mean any number of things," Roy said.  "Could mean since this Jake fellow is already in jail all posters were pulled and I didn't get one.  You say he was arrested when?"  He turned his gray whiskered frown to Ada, scratching his chin while he waited for her answer.  He didn't like puzzles, not at all, he wanted to see everything plain, in black and white in front of him.
    Ada fidgeted. "Oh, about a month or so past.  We headed out just soon after, to get someone to help."
    Ben noticed Jane slumping rather unladylike in her chair.
    "Then it's unusual I wouldn't have a poster somewhere in my files, I only clean them out once every fall or so, and you said a murder was involved, isn't that what you said?"
    Jane looked up sharply.  "There was no---."
    Ada grabbed his hand and squeezed.  "Forgive my darling Jane, she takes the whole thing so personally.  The...uh...bank teller was shot and my son was only unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time.  So they decided to pin it on him, even though when they caught up to him they could find no trace of the money.  And then they convict him on such flimsy evidence.  Mr. Coffee, that just isn't justice!"
    Jane sat up quickly and his hat bobbed forward, taking his wig down a bit over his face.  He quickly straightened it before Roy noticed.  But behind them Ben saw the hat move and at first thought his eyes were playing tricks.  It seemed that the hair moved with the hat!  As he ran his hands over his eyes, a thought occurred to him.  Jane...so shy of Joe...and Jake...sure enough!  They were close, all right!  Before he could say anything, Roy turned back.
    "When did you say this bank was robbed?"
    "Oh, it was still winter, maybe early spring.  Could even have been April, I...lose track of time out here."
    Roy frowned.  "Could have been January late in the month?"  Ada shrugged.  "Now I got to get the right information here, or I just can’t do a dadblasted thing."
    "What difference does it make when?"  Ada stood.  "Or how or even where?  I was told Ben Cartwright was an honorable man and he would help get to the truth of things.  Now I'd like to know how we're going to go about proving my son was innocent!  Mr. Cartwright, won't you come back to St. Louis with me?"
    Ben fought to keep his face serious.  The truth of things, indeed.  "Well, I don't know.  Roy, does that seem like a logical move to you?"
    "Might not be needed, Ben.  Look at this."  Roy pulled Ben aside.  "Now I'm not saying there's anything to be suspicious of here, Ben, but those two have got me a little confused.  I found this poster, all right, it's on a bank robbery in St. Louis late last January and this Jake fellow is wanted for it, all right, but there's no mention of a murder.  And then I found this here letter sent a couple months later telling me to disregard this here poster because the bank robber was not this Jake fellow but someone else."  He pulled Ben further away as he felt the women straining to hear.  "Now in my mind there's something strange about someone saying they killed when they didn't, if you know what I mean."
    "Yeah, yeah, I do, Roy.  So what do you suggest?"
    "I've a mind to go to Salt Lake City and check the authorities there.  They may have some information that didn't make it all the way to us here in Genoa."
    Ben whistled.  "I don't know, that's quite a trip, Roy."
    "Oh, it's not so bad, and I've been putting off some other duties out that way anyhow.  You know, with all the Mormons trying to reclaim their land back here in Genoa from the gentiles, tempers been getting pretty nasty around here."
    “But Roy, that makes it a bad time to leave here, doesn’t it?”
    “Not if I want to save my own hide.  Ben, you know how these land claims can git, and I’m not in a position to settle any of them.  I leave Amos behind to send people on to Carson City, that’s the only way to handle that side of it.”
    "Well, Roy, I think it's pretty obvious that these ladies," he cleared his throat, speaking louder on certain words for their benefit, "have been twisting things here just a little.  I guess it would be good to find out which way they've been twisted.  If you don’t mind the trip."
    "That's just what I think, Ben.  What that reason might be I can't put my finger on.  Chances are even that they're hiding behind this story from an even more serious crime.  Could even be this Jake isn't in jail at all, and these folks are using us to sniff him out for some sort of revenge."
    "Could even be that Jake is hiding in disguise right under our noses." Ben glanced carefully over his shoulder.
    Roy paused.  "Could be that too.  Ben, I'm going to ask you something.  I'm going to ask that you keep the Remingtons here until I get back.  Can you do that?"
    Ben grinned broadly.  “That’ll be my pleasure, Roy.”

    "Hop Sing, that was a darn fine spread and I do thank you," Hoss pushed his chair back.  He was the only one who made the midday meal that day and was more than happy to keep the extra food from going to waste.  "Say, did I tell you we birthed another calf this morning?"
    "No sir, Mr. Hoss.  That good news!  You going back to herd again now?"  He stacked dirty plates to take back with him into the kitchen, Hoss's and five serving dishes he cleaned off.
    "No, tell you what, if you know where Miss Christine is at, I'm ready to take her on a little buggy ride this afternoon."  Hoss wiped his hands and face carefully on a napkin and tossed it down on the table before walking to the settee to do some waiting.  He heard from Pa that a man has to learn to wait for a lady.
    "Miss Christine, she and Miss MaryAnn in loom lesting from their dinner.  You want me fetch?"
    "Yeah, you fetch her, Hop Sing.  Oh wait, that sister, Miss Jane, she's not around too, is she?"
    "Oh-ho, you mean Missy Mule.  She go off with Mr. Cartlight and Missus Remington."
    "Ah-ha!  Missy Mule.  That's a good one, Hop Sing.  But you better not let her hear you call her that.  It wouldn't be proper to address a filly that way."
    "Not sure she a filly.  Not sure what she is."  Hop Sing shook his head and headed for the stairs.
    A few minutes later Hop Sing came back down followed by Christine.  She was trying her best to look dignified and dainty but kept tripping on her dress on the steps.  Hop Sing saw her discomfort and got out of the way quickly so she couldn't fall on him.
    He got out of her way just in time, Christine's foot got caught on her hem and she fell forward.  Hoss was at the stairs just in time to catch her with his big, sweating hands. He straightened back up and stepped away quickly, embarrassed by what he might have touched accidentally.
    "Oh!  Thank you.  I’m such a klutz, even worse than Jane!”  She giggled, and Hoss only half pretended to catch on.  “Hop Sing said you wanted to see me, Hoss."  Christine said, straightening her hat.
    "Yeah, I..." He tucked his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor.  "I was wondering if you might go riding with me, Miss Christine.  Like we talked about.  Take you around the ranch.  You know, see the lake?"
    "The lake?  Oh, how delightful!"   She adjusted her sleeves and patted her bodice daintily.
    "Yes, miss.  It's a nice day and---."
    "Why, Hoss, I do declare you're flirting with me."  She grabbed his arm and pulled him to the door.  "And while we're at it, you can offer to be my escort to the party Hop Sing told me you're having Saturday night."
    Hoss grinned.  He wondered if Joe was having this kind of luck with Missy Mule.

    Splinters of wood flew up into the air around him as Joe chopped with the fury of a madman.  Darn those brothers anyhow, getting him in a pickle he could see no way out of.  That Miss Jane wasn't shy - what she was was the most stubborn, cantankerous thing he's ever met.  Next to those brothers of his.
    He was so darn polite to Jane this morning too.  He had jumped to his feet when she rose from the breakfast table - that gal sure could eat! - and pulled her chair away for her when her dress caught.  He didn't stop to think it was foolish, even though he had seen her reaction when Adam tried to help her sit.  She had only muttered a quick thanks to him and went for the door, so Joe followed, well aware how everyone was staring.
    "How about some company on your walk, Miss Jane?"
    "Oh no," she giggled hoarsely.  "I'd prefer to be alone."
    Joe could feel his brothers' hot eyes on his back.  They both had pleasant breakfast conversations with their ladies.
    "Oh Miss Jane, I couldn't let you do that.  This is wild country and there's no telling what you might run into out there."  He grabbed her arm and helped her out the door.  When she didn't resist him he winked back at Hoss and closed the door behind them.
    The remaining Cartwrights stared at the shut door a moment.  Hoss and Adam exchanged raised eyebrows, then went back to their eating.  After a moment they heard a thud, and Joe hobbled back in.  He looked sheepishly at Ben.
    "She kicked me in the shins."  He hobbled up the stairs, grimacing as Adam and Hoss laughed behind him.
    Even now, as the wood chips flew around him, his shins still hurt.  He should have known, right from the start, that she wasn't one of the sweet, dainty things he was used to, and to steer clear.  But no, those doggone brothers had gone and spurred him on, and he had his pride.
    He'd win her over yet.

    Hoss watched Miss Christine walk into the house.  He shook his head and clicked to the horse, pulling the buggy to the barn behind him.  Adam was inside, unsaddling his horses after his ride with MaryAnn.
    "Hey Adam, how'd it go?"
    "Oh, nice ride, clean, fresh air---."
    "But not such good company for you either, eh."  Hoss leaned on a stall gate.
    "Let's just say the weather was the only thing we agreed on."
    "Hah!  Christine couldn't disagree with anything I said, she never let me get a word in."  Adam wrapped the reins around his arm and hung them on a nail.  "Hey, Adam, how do you think Joe's doing?" Hoss asked as he pushed the buggy into the back of the barn.  Adam gave the blankets a shake that he'd taken off their mounts.
    "Oh, I think ours was a pretty safe bet.  Did you notice if Pa's back?"
    "Yeah, I saw the wagon around back when I came in."  They stopped outside the barn and Hoss shut the doors.  They started toward the house but Hoss grabbed Adam's arm.  "What do you mean about a safe bet?"
    "Let's just say he doesn't stand a chance with Jane." A sly smile snuck across Adam’s face.
    "Did Miss MaryAnn tell you---?"
    "That Jane is actually a brother?"  Adam leaned on Hoss, trying hard not to laugh.  
    “She told me not to tell.”  Hoss was busting up.  "Can you just imagine the look on Joe's face when he finds out?"
    Adam straightened up, a crease of worry on his face. "Who’s gonna tell him?"
    At the thought of letting Joe find out for himself, perhaps the hard way, Hoss sombered.  "Ah, you're joshing."
    "Think of it, Hoss, what better way to teach him the humility we're after with this party?"
    "Yeah, but he's just a kid."
    "Who's about to get a good lesson in being grown up."
    They both broke out laughing again and shook hands, just as Joe rode into the yard.  They turned to him, lowering their grins dramatically.
    "Joe, you look plum worn out.  Glad the day is almost over, eh boy?" Hoss took a step toward him, hand out to help with his horse.
    "Don't call me boy," Joe said, getting down off Cochise.
    "Oooh, it has been a hot day," Adam leaned against the hitching rail as Joe uncinched his saddle.                            
    "Yeah, well, you guys had nice afternoons off but one of us has to keep this ranch going."
    "Don't worry, little brother.  She may be a stubborn little filly, but you'll get to her yet.  We have faith in you, don't we, Adam?"
    "That's right."  Adam slapped Little Joe on the shoulder, making him stagger some, as he and Hoss walked back to the house.  Joe followed, dragging his feet behind him.
    When they got in the house Ben was busy entertaining the four ladies and gave them a nearly mournful look.  Ada stood next to Ben looking unhappy and Jane stared sullenly into the fire, with Christine relaxed and content on either side of him.
    "Well, glad you boys made it in time for dinner.  Get cleaned up so you can join us for wine."  
    Hoss and Adam nodded briefly at the two ladies on the settee, but spared themselves a glance at Jane for fear of giving it away.  Ben noticed this, and smiled down at his boots.
    "Joe!" Ben called as Joe reached the steps.  "I was just trying to convince the ladies to stay for our dance Saturday night.  I told them it was going to be a grand gay event, first of its kind in these parts.  Think you can help me convince them to stay?"
    "Uh, well," he glanced at Jane, who heaved a heavy sigh.  "I'll certainly give it some thought, Pa."  He climbed with a heavy trudge up the stairs.  
    "At any rate, Ada, Christine here is excited about the party, you can't let her down.  How about you, MaryAnn?"
    "Oh, I have no problem with dancing, Mr. Cartwright.  As long as the music isn't too slow.  But heaven forbid it be too fast either."
    "Then....it's settled."  He laughed and spread his large hands.  "Now you have to admit, you can't argue with your daughters."    
    "Ben, I must confess something to you.  At the sheriff's office I was still a little concerned about trusting you, but I really cannot let this continue.  Jane isn't---."
    "Now, Ada, I won't take no for an answer.  Besides, you have no place to go before Roy gets back from Salt Lake City with some news.  He might even make it back for the party."
    She sighed.  "I guess you're right.  I just hate imposing on you for so long."
    Jane stood next to Ada.  "Ma," he said under his breath.  "Why can't we go back to Salt Lake City ourselves?"
    "Because darling, Mr. Cartwright and Roy are being so dear to handle all this for us, and I am able to relax for the first time in several...in a month."  She turned back to Ben.  "Ben, there's something I have to tell---."
    At the noise on the stairs Jane grabbed her arm.  "Shhh, not with everyone in the room."
    Adam came down the stairs, followed by Joe and Hoss, all looking considerably better groomed.  Adam and Hoss stood on either side of MaryAnn and Christine, while Joe shrugged and made himself uncomfortable a short distance from Jane.
    He tried a smile.  "So, Miss Jane, did you have a pleasant day?"
    "Not hardly, with the sun in my eyes all day," she answered, voice squeaking.
    "Oh," Joe looked away.  "I'm sorry."
    Ben grabbed the wine bottle off the table.  "Anyone need a refill?  Boys?"  When no one answered he put it back down.  "I would think dinner's almost ready."  He hastened over to the kitchen.  "HOP SING!!!"
    "Yes, Mr. Cartlight," came the muffled reply.
    "Aren't we ready to eat yet!?"
    Hop Sing shuffled out, his face full of flour.  "Please to all sit.  Will bling light away."
    "Ah," Ben chuckled.  "Just as I thought.  Shall we?"

    After dinner the women excused themselves from the room to freshen up while Ben got out the brandy.  Joe reached for a glass but Ben stopped him.  
    "Not til Saturday, Joe and then only one glass."
    "Ah, go easy on him, Pa.  It's been a rough day for the little fella." Hoss smirked.
    "Now cut that out!"
    "Come on now, Joe, admit it, you haven't been able to ask Jane to the dance.  The only sister without an escort, no wonder she doesn't want to stay," Adam said, winking at Hoss.
    "Now wait, Adam, Hoss.  Joe, I think there's something you should know.  Jane is---."
    Hoss grabbed Joe's arm and pulled him away.  "Listen, Joe, Pa doesn't quite understand.  If he knew we had a little bet going he'd get plum riled at us."
    "Yeah, Hoss, about this bet..." he looked back at Adam talking in earnest to Ben.
    "Joe!  You're chickening out!  One shy little thing and you can't handle her.  Well, I'll be dadburned.  This...this is embarrassing, Joe."
    Joe frowned.  He knew his two brothers will never let him forget this one failure, even if he lives to be 40!  "All right!"  He tried to drink out of the empty brandy glass, then slammed it down on the table and went back to Adam.  "You just wait, Adam.  And you too, Hoss.  I'll win her yet.  That Miss Jane doesn't stand a chance.  She'll be my greatest victory!"  He walked to the front door.  "She won't be able to resist me again, no sir.  MMMM-mmmmm."  He walked outside and slammed the door behind him.    
    "Joe!"  Ben started for the door.  "Wait!  You don't---."
    "Pa!"  Adam grabbed his arm and Hoss got hold of the other.  They guided him back toward the fireplace and gave him his brandy.  "Joe's got a point, Pa.  If he can't win this gal over, he'll never live it down.  You know his ego, Pa."
    "But Jane isn't a girl.  She's Jake!"
    "We know," Adam said as Hoss let a laugh escape.
    "I thought you did.  So why in tarnation---!”
    "Now, Pa, relax," Hoss said.  "Joe has been riding on us ever since feeling his own oats two years back, saying how he can get any gal he wants.  So we challenged him to this little gal when we thought she was a little gal, just shy."
    "And you have to admit, Pa," Adam added, "we couldn't have found a better chance to see him get a little comeuppance."
    "Now Adam, what about how embarrassed he's going to feel?"
    "We won't tell him we know about it, that's all.  In the meantime he's learning that maybe he's not quite so irresistible.  It's an important thing for a kid his age to learn, Pa."
    Hoss nodded.  "Adam's right, Pa.  And if Joe's lucky, he'll never even have to know Miss Jane is really Jake.  They'll be on their way soon enough, won't they?"
    "That's right, too," Adam said, glancing at Hoss with just a little concern.
    Ben hesitated.  "Well, but what about Jake?"
    "Pa, he's a fella dressed as a gal."  Adam couldn't believe it, Pa was relenting.  "He doesn't want us to know.  MaryAnn and Christine won't tell him we know, either."
    Hoss clamped on hand on his father's shoulder.  "So you see, Pa?  Nothing can go wrong."
    Ben hesitated.  "Boys, I'm not saying I agree with this, mind you, but I'll stay out of it.  I know Joe wouldn't miss this chance if it was him."  He raised his brandy.  "This dance is going to be even more lively than I thought."

    Joe stopped out on the front porch, gathering his senses.  There was only one thing left for him to do.  Only one sure-fire way to get that Jane to liking him.   He heard someone whistling and as he watched, Jane came around the corner of the barn.  He stopped when he saw Joe walking toward him, and turned to go back the way he came.
    "Wait, Jane, please!"  Joe ran.  He caught up with Jane easily, she had tripped over her dress and fell, sprawling to the ground.  Joe helped her to her feet, but she pulled away and brushed at herself.
    "Dang dress anyway," Jane muttered.
    "What?"
    "Oh, nothing," his voice rose considerably higher. "Did you want me, Little Joe?"
    "Just gotta ask you something, Miss Jane.  Why do you find me so resistible?"
    Jane opened his mouth, the answer burning on his tongue, but he simply shrugged.  He turned to walk back toward the house.
    Joe blocked her path.  "I'm really a fine fellow, once you get to know me," Joe planted his hands on Jane’s shoulders and leaned close.  "Why don't you just give yourself that chance."  He leaned in toward her, his eyes closed, his lips pursed.  He didn't know a gal yet who could resist...
    But Jane's hand came up, and instead of a slap, Joe found himself the receiver of a punch cleanly delivered to his jaw.  He landed on his rear in the dirt.
    "Hey!" he said, rubbing his jaw.  "That's a mighty mean fist for a gal."
    "Yeah, well, that's because I..." Jake turned away.  He shook his head, and jerked off the wig.  "Doggone it, it's because I'm not a gal."
    Joe stared at Jake a minute, his mouth wide, and then jumped to his feet.  He looked around wildly for his brothers, feeling sure they had set him up somehow.  He looked back at Jake.  "You're...a fellow?  You're....Jake?"
    "Sorry, Joe.  Ma said it was the only way---."
    Joe started to laugh.  He held his gut he laughed so hard, and at first his high-pitched merriment echoing off the pines until he clamped a hand over his mouth.  
    “Now, come on, Joe, cut it out.”
    But even though his clamped hand kept his laughs quiet, he couldn’t stop and fell to the ground, laughing so hard he couldn't stand up anymore.  "Oh.  Oh," he pointed at Jake, "I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, you…you don't know how relieved I am.  I thought...I thought, there was something wrong with me, and all along ....there was something wrong with you!"
    Jake laughed with Joe, more out of relief at Joe knowing than any enjoyment in the situation.  "Yeah, kinda funny, all right."
    "You know what?"  Joe rolled to his knees and looked around before jumping up and getting conspiratorially close to Jake. "The fun doesn't even have to end."
    "It doesn't?  What you got in mind?"
    Joe plunked the wig back down on Jake’s head.  “You don’t want everyone else to know, do you?  You could end up in jail.”

    The wind pushed a thunderstorm through the day of the party but by mid afternoon it had cleared.  Only a light cool wind lingered, with some muddy spots in the yard to show there had even been a rain.  Hop Sing scurried about all day, first getting set up inside and then when the sun came out, cursing Chinese under his breath and giving his clipped orders to whatever hands he found to help him get everything set back up outside.  There were chairs to put out and tables to set up and the whole cow to cut up and roast in several different spots for different flavors and degrees of doneness.  There were potatoes and beans to cook and a square dry area to set up for Butch and Slinky who agreed to play their instruments, and even got together to practice once or twice.
    There still weren't a whole lot of people living out in the settlements surrounding the Ponderosa, even the inklings of gold in the area hadn't brought a scurrying yet, but whoever there was came.  At first all were too embarrassed to dance, not hardly remembering what it had been like to dance back east where they were mostly all from.  Finally a family that had come down from Canada started up the fun, not caring that the harmonica and guitar were not quite in beat, or even always playing the same tune together.
    Adam and Hoss followed MaryAnn and Christine out the door, the two gals had their heads together, giggling, and shied away from them when they tried to get close.  Finally Hoss shrugged and led Adam over to where Ben watched the beef cooking.
    "So where's Joe?" Hoss said, looking around.
    "Yeah, has the little brother gone and run away from home?" Adam smirked, leaning on Hoss for support.
    "Funny, I got the feeling that your brother and Jane were getting on pretty good."                 
    Hoss and Adam looked at each other.
    "Ah, come on Pa, you know that ain't too likely, considering Jake's a fella."  Hoss laughed, but only for a moment.  "Is it?" he asked, turning to Adam.
    They shrugged at each other as the door of the ranch house opened and Joe came out with Miss Jane on his arm.  She giggled and leaned close, whispering in his ear.
    Joe brought her over to Ben and his brothers.  "Good evening, gents, fine night, wouldn't you say?  Miss Jane, would you like to dance?"
    "Oh, Joe, I would but I'm just so happy being here with you that I would just like to enjoy it for awhile.  We can always dance later."
    "Yes, well," Joe gave them a victorious smirk and guided Jane to the punch.
    "Adam," Hoss said. "You don't suppose..."
    Adam crossed his arms, staring at them.  He took a deep breath at Hoss's question.  "What?  That they're engaged?"
    "Sure seems that way, don't it."  They watched Joe and Jane with their heads together over the punch.  "Pa?"
    "Yes, Hoss?"
    "Do you think maybe we oughta tell him now?"
    Ben only smiled.  He saw the guest he was hoping to see.  "Roy, by golly, you made it."  Ada pulled herself away from the family she had been talking with to join them.
    "Did you find anything, sheriff?  Anything to help my boy?"
    "Well, Mrs. Remington, you know you could have saved yourself and me a lot of grief by telling me the truth from the beginning.  You have no idea what I went through poking around Salt Lake City for an unsolved murder, or something that this Jake could have been responsible for.  But I do know this.  Back in St. Louis there's a family of Remingtons what up and disappeared in the night mysterious like, and it's because at the time their boy was considered to be knowing something about a bank robbery and maybe guilty. Now I want the truth of the matter.  Did you up and leave everything you owned just because you was afraid?  Or is there more to it?"
    "Sheriff, do you mean my boy has been found innocent?"
    "That's right, now I want some answers---."
    "Oh Sheriff, it's a long story best saved for after the party but let me tell you this much.  My husband was strung up for something he didn't do, and I was damned if I was going to let that happen to Jake!  There’s never any way of knowing who to trust, except your own family!"  She threw her arms around Roy, and then Ben.  "Thank you both."
    Jane came up behind her.  "What's he saying, Ma?"
    She threw her arms around her son.  "You're free, he's found you didn't...I mean," she said, looking around, "he's found that Jake didn't rob no bank.  Or kill nobody.  A week after we left they threw the real robber in jail."
    At first Jake just looked at her.  "YAHOOO!" He ripped off his wig and hat.  He grabbed Joe and whirled him around.  Hoss and Adam watched Joe's face, but Joe was laughing with Jake just as though they had been friends all their lives.
    "Dadburnit, Joe, you knew?" Hoss said, his face reddening.
    "Come on now, Joe, what...what's going on?"
    "Oh, what's the matter, Adam, did someone put a bee in your bonnet?"  Joe and Jake laughed uproariously, clutching each other to keep from falling to the ground.
    "Mrs. Remington," Roy sputtered, pointing at Jake.  "What's the meaning of this here?"
    "Well, sheriff, I just couldn't let them arrest my boy when I heard they were talking that maybe he did it.  I was afraid they were coming to arrest him so we took off in the night, and I dressed him in his sister's clothes so he could stay hidden no matter where we went, no matter who was looking for him."
    "Well," Ben said, clapping Hoss and Adam on the back, "I'd say this has turned out to be one dandy party.  Ada, would you do me the honors of a dance?"  
    "I'd be happy too, Ben."  She and Ben shook Roy's hand and the music started up again.
    Jake grabbed Joe's arm.  "Come on Joe, I still owe you that dance."
    "Just a minute, Joe," Adam commanded.  "You owe us an explanation."
    "What's the problem, Adam?  I told you I can win any gal over."
    "How'd you find out, Joe?"  Hoss looked around.  "Miss MaryAnn or Miss Christine tell you?"
    "Nope.  When I realized I wasn't going to get to Jane here with my natural charms, I decided to try a little honesty."
    "Yeah, he tried to kiss me so I belted him," Jake said, laughing.
    Joe grinned, rubbing his jaw.  "Pretty hard, too."
    Adam leaned on Hoss, puzzling it out.  "Hoss, I don't know how, but we've been had."
    "Speaking of being had, brothers, where are the gals you're supposed to be escorting?”  Joe asked.  “Seems like they've found themselves a couple of fine ranch hands."
    Hoss and Adam looked over to the punch bowl where the gals were cozying up to Slinky and Butch on one of their music breaks.
    "I'll say one thing, brothers.  At least I have a reason for not getting hitched this time.  Oh, and I do believe this means I win the bet."  Joe laughed as he and Jake strolled away, arm in arm.
    Ben came up behind Adam and Hoss.  "Now there goes one fine looking couple."  He chuckled and went back to the roasting steer.
    "Hoss?"
    "Yeah, Adam?"
    "Where are all the gals that Joe was supposed to be learning humility from?"
    Hoss sighed heavily.  "I don't know, Adam."  He turned to follow his Pa to the roasting steer.  "And to tell you the truth, I really, really, really, don't care....."


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