GOING TO THE DOGS
By Hope
'All right, sit here and look bored
and
exhausted,' he tells me.
Gee, you think I can handle that,
Mr.
Director?
How on earth did I get into
this? I
gotta get a new agent.
Why can't I get parts like that
moron who
plays Lassie? I could act
rings around that bozo!
But, nooooooooooooooooo! I'm
supposed
to play some dog named Walter
in a western where everyone's
looking at
those Cartwrights all the
time anyway. What do they need
me for?
Ho hum. So here I sit.
'Look bored
and exhausted'? I AM bored and
exhausted! They've been
filming for
almost twelve hours now.
Where's the PETA people when I need
them? Isn't there some kind of
law against this? And I
haven't even
had so much as a milkbone all
day. I'm starving! Maybe
I'll
take a chunk out of Mr. Blocker when
he walks by. Nahhhh. I
like
him. He's been decent to me. But I
saw that triple-decker sandwich he
just
showed up with. That's his
10th meal today! And even my
most
pitiful look couldn't convince
him to drop a few crumbs my
way. It's
all my trainer's
fault. 'Don't feed the
dog!'
Gimme a break!
'The dog.' That's what they
call me
around here. 'The dog.' Don't
they know who I am? I've
appeared in
commercials and television
shows up the wazoo! But that's
all I
am around here. 'The dog.'
Jeez!
After today, I'm outta here!
This
gig's over and the minute my
trainer's back is turned, I'm
hightailing it
over to Mr.
Weatherwax's place. I'll show
them
all. Put me next to that Lassie
schmuck and I'll show them some REAL
acting! Then, look out world!
This boy's on his way!
Yeah. That's the ticket!
Well, guess I'll catch a few winks
while
they set the cameras up for
the next shot. I'm supposed to
actually raise my head for a second,
then go back to sleep again.
Gee, ya
think I can handle that? Ya
think?
THE END.