"To Hold A Memory, Part 1"

 

 

 

 Adam and Anne Cartwright began their married life on a journey to England where Adam was already well established. Not having had the luxury of a lengthy

 friendship prior to marriage, each day afforded new opportunities to get better acquainted with one another. They discovered a shared interest in music, books, and

 quiet reflection outdoors---that, coupled with a deep love for each other, created an inseparable bond between them..

 

 

 

 Anne was very thankful to have met Adam when she did, and he liked to tease her about being his mail- order bride sent to the wrong address. They had

 become the best of friends, having settled in the charming stone cottage Adam had purchased some time before. Jenny, a pleasant middle-aged Oriental woman

 cooked for them, thus completing their small but happy household.

 

 

 

 On the eve of their first month at home, Adam and Anne sat out on the veranda, bundled up against the damp fall chill, reminiscing about how they'd met. Adam

 recalled the events culminating in a most unusual court case necessary to settle things between Anne and Max Benson, the man she'd travelled West to marry.

 

 

 

 "You know, Anne ," he remarked thoughtfully, " I knew you'd be someone very special to me when I first saw you with Benson, but when the judge dismissed your

 case stating that you were free to remain single as long as you wanted to, I knew then that I hoped you wouldn't want to for very long." Reaching for her hand, he

 held it to his lips and smiled at her.

 

 

 

 "I know ," Anne smiled in return, remembering it well. "You were so sweet, taking me out for coffee and asking what I planned to do next. I think I knew what your

 intentions were then. You proposed to me that same evening." A dreamy expression filled her eyes.

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "To be perfectly honest, I really hadn't intended to that night. I had it all planned to go on a picnic the next day, and ask you then. That was before

 the telegram from England reminded me that my time in America was so short. Leaving you behind was out of the question---Little Joe might win your heart in my

 absence !"

 

 

 

 She raised her eyebrows. "Was that your only reason ?" she asked archly.

 

 

 

 He shook his head, squeezing her hand, "No, of course not. By the time I faced the possibility of telling you Goodbye, I realized I just couldn't do it. You had

 become so special to me---someone I loved very much." His eyes darkened, and he caressed her chin gently. "I couldn't wait any longer to let you know how I felt

 about you."

 

 

 

 Anne leaned closer. "I'm glad you didn't ," she replied softly, vividly recalling the moment. "I was having too much difficulty sorting out how I felt about

 you---especially after the Sunday picnic when I saw how your old friends reacted to me being there with you. That's what really made me see how much you'd

 come to mean to me. Many times I had asked myself how it would've been if you'd gotten my name instead of Max Benson." A smile lit up her lovely features.

 "One thing I knew for sure---we wouldn't be in court if you had !"

 

 

 

 He stroked her hair and pulled her to him in a tender embrace. "You know, Anne, it's kind of special the way everything happened. We faced difficulty together

 and knew we could handle it as long as we had each other, " Releasing her slightly, he looked deep into her eyes. "You walked into my life that first day, Anne, and

 into my heart as well. It was meant to be. Everyday I thank God for you." He took her face in his hands, sealing his words with a meaningful, lingering kiss.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 The following evening, Adam took her to a quiet restaurant for a candle light dinner. They always enjoyed spending time together, but he found great pleasure in

 surprising Anne with unexpected outings---just to make her smile. After reliving more memories sacred to the two of them, Adam's thoughts turned toward home,

 the Ponderosa.

 

 

 

 "Anne, do you remember Hop Sing ?"

 

 

 

 "Your father's cook ?" she asked in surprise. "Of course I do. Hop Sing very nice man." she imitated his style of speaking.

 

 

 

 Adam grinned. "Very good ," he complimented. "I've been thinking about him lately. He's so faithful and kind hearted, yet he's never married. I know he'd like to

 have his own family."

 

 

 

 Anne smiled. "Who are you planning to match him up with ?"

 

 

 

 "Jenny ," he replied simply.

 

 

 

 "Jenny? You mean our Jenny ?" she queried.

 

 

 

 He nodded. "She's alot like him in some ways. Very caring and thoughtful. She's fairly adaptable, too. I think she'd really like the Ponderosa."

 

 

 

 "Hmm , or make Hop Sing like England ," Anne mused. "Have you talked to her about him?"

 

 

 

 He shook his head. "Not yet. I may mention it to her sometime."

 

 

 

 Anne smiled sweetly at him and taking his hand in hers, changed the subject.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne peeked into the office where Adam sat in his leather chair, busily checking the company accounts. He sighed wearily, massaging aching temples and leaned

 back, closing his eyes. She crept back to the kitchen, approaching Jenny confidently.

 

 

 

 "Jenny, Adam is working so hard, and I think he needs a break. Would you fix a couple of cups of coffee and a plate of scones ? "

 

 

 

 Jenny smiled and nodded. "You are good for him, Anne ," she spoke approvingly. "Before he brought you here, he would stay up half the night and be so tired the

 next day for work." She shook her head, pouring the coffee. "He's a hard worker---takes his responsibilities very seriously."

 

 

 

 "Yes, he does," Anne replied softly. "He's a wonderful man." She watched as Jenny prepared the scones, adding a small dish of strawberry preserves to the tray.

 With a warm smile, Anne picked up the tray. "Thanks, Jenny ," she called over her shoulder, leaving the room.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam dreamed he and Anne were sitting on the river bank watching the minnows swim in the icy stream. The warm sunshine dispelled winter's chill only slightly,

 and pulling Anne into his arms, he felt her breath against his cheek. She looked adoringly up into his face, capturing his lips with hers gently and sweetly.

 

 

 

 "I love you, Adam....." her voice echoed softly in his ears.

 

 

 

 Adam opened his eyes, blinking in confusion as Anne's face appeared in front of him. Slowly he straightened in the chair and moved a ledger out of his lap, reaching

 for her.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Anne, do you know how much I love you ?" he whispered, holding her close.

 

 

 

 Anne leaned her head against his shoulder, kissing his neck affectionately. "Yes, Darling , I do." The coffee and scones were forgotten for the moment, but neither

 one seemed to care.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne waved from the window as Adam lifted his hand in farewell one last time before turning the corner where the trees hid him from view. With a sigh, she walked

 slowly to their room and began looking through photographs from her youth that she'd packed in a trunk months before. One in particular stood out to her, and she

 carried it to the window for better light.

 

 

 

 "I was sixteen ," Anne mused softly, memories flooding her mind. "Adam hasn't seen this one yet." She surveyed it with interest, remembering the special

 occasion during which it was taken. It was her birthday, and her father had held a party in the nicest restaurant in Boston, inviting the most elite to celebrate with

 her. Though the photograph was black and white, Anne could picture the dress in her mind---a deep rose silk with flounced skirt and puffed sleeves, the most

 beautiful dress she could remember owning at that time. "I'd completely forgotten about it." she whispered, taking it to the living room.

 

 

 

 A picture of Adam in his late teens was displayed on the mantel between two exquisite lamps of Oriental design. Anne moved the lamps a little farther apart and

 placed her photograph beside Adam's. With a smile, she nodded in satisfaction. "We look good together ," she said aloud, then blushed and shook her head, but

 the smile remained.

 

 

 

 Picking up Adam's picture she looked into his eyes and felt a skip in her heartbeat. "I love you, Adam ," she whispered, kissing his likeness lightly before replacing it

 beside hers.

 

 

 

 She was vaguely aware of a knock at the door, but heard Jenny in the hall and soon forgot it until Jenny stepped up to her.

 

 

 

 "Anne, you have company."

 

 

 

 Anne raised her eyes to Jenny's. "Who is it ?" she asked, but Jenny had moved away, motioning the visitor into the front room where Anne stood.

 

 

 

 A young woman, obviously very wealthy swept into the room, removing her gloves as she entered. She stopped, ,catching sight of Anne, a frown marring her lovely

 features.

 

 

 

 "Oh, I'm sorry. Jenny didn't tell me---." She hesitated, flustered. "Are you---a relative of Adam's ? His sister or cousin, maybe ?"

 

 

 

 Anne felt a numbness creep over her and instantly recalled the young women she'd encountered in Virginia City. Surely not here, too!

 

 

 

 She forced a pleasant smile and stepped forward. "I'm Anne---Mrs. Adam Cartwright. Please----won't you be seated ?" she replied quietly. "Whom do I have the

 pleasure of addressing ?"

 

 

 

 There was a sharp intake of breath and the young woman quickly composed herself though her cheeks blanched as she sank down on the sofa. "I'm Victoria

 Gardiner, a dear friend of Adam's, " she replied haughtily, laying her gloves next to her. "Adam works for my father."

 

 

 

 "I see ," Anne replied, taking a seat nearby. "And you stopped by---to see my husband ?"

 

 

 

 Victoria glanced at her and looked away. "Yes ," she answered shortly, rising to her feet and walking to the mantel. "He's---well it's been understood---" she

 paused as an uncomfortable silence mounted. Turning to face Anne, an angry flush stained her cheeks. "He was coming back to me when he returned from

 America. Look---he gave me this." She held out her left hand, revealing a gorgeous ring of considerable value.

 

 

 

 Anne caught her breath and met Victoria's eyes steadily, but made no reply. Victoria raised her chin, taking down Anne's picture.

 

 

 

 "Is this you ?" she asked.

 

 

 

 Anne rose to her feet and moved closer. "Yes ," she replied calmly.

 

 

 

 "Are you a childhood friend of Adam's ?"

 

 

 

 "No ," Anne said. "I grew up in Boston."

 

 

 

 "Really? How long have you known Adam ?" Victoria arched her brows in a superior fashion.

 

 

 

 Anne contemplated the answer only briefly. "A few months. We met in mid September."

 

 

 

 Victoria's eyes widened. "Adam married a complete stranger ?" she asked incredulously. "That doesn't sound like him, " she handed the picture to Anne and

 picked up Adam's, a look of warmth relaxing her features.

 

 

 

 Anne replaced her picture and reached for Adam's. "We weren't strangers when we married ," she spoke with a quiet confidence that surprised her. "How long

 have you known him ?"

 

 

 

 "A year, maybe a little longer ," Victoria replied. "He was my escort everywhere." She reluctantly let Anne take the picture out of her hand and drew herself to an

 arrogant height. "Well, I can't speak for you, Anne. Despite what you forced him into, Adam belongs to me. Everyone knows it, and he knows it, too. You'd better

 get used to the fact that Adam Cartwright is mine."

 

 

 

 Anne looked up at her, still holding Adam's picture and smiled. "I can't speak for you, Miss Gardiner, but Adam Cartwright is my husband. I forced him into

 nothing, and we are very happy together. Perhaps you'd like to stay until he returns home ? We can surely clear this up then." Inwardly she hoped her visitor would

 decline.

 

 

 

 "No thank you ," Victoria pulled her gloves on angrily. "I'll speak to Adam at his office---alone." She turned quickly and without waiting for Jenny to show her to

 the door, walked swiftly to it, slamming it behind her.

 

 

 

 Anne's knees trembled and she sank into Adam's large chair, breathing deeply, almost feeling his arms around her. Her heartbeat gradually regulated, but troubling

 thoughts whirled in confusion as a series of questions flooded her mind. How well do I really know Adam? Does he really love me? Did he simply feel sorry

 for me and marry me out of pity? Does he now, or did her ever, care for Victoria Gardiner? What kind of man have I given my heart to?

 

 

 

 Instantly Anne sat up straight. "A good, honorable man that I love dearly ," she said aloud with spirit. "I won't doubt Adam or his love for me. How could I ? I

 know he's in love with me, and I'm in love with him."

 

 

 

 "Anne, did you say something ?" It was Jenny, peeking around the corner.

 

 

 

 Anne looked up and smiled. "I was talking to myself, Jenny. But I would like to ask you something. " Jenny came nearer, a quizzical expression on her pleasant

 face. "Who was that young woman ?"

 

 

 

 Jenny shook her head. "I do not know her, " she replied. "I thought maybe she friend of yours. She simply ask if she could come in."

 

 

 

 Anne smiled. "I see. That's all, Jenny---thank you." She rose and walked slowly to the cozy room she and Adam shared, the thoughts of doubt still persistently

 troubling her heart. Selecting a rich royal blue velvet dress from her wardrobe, Anne began to plan a special evening that would hopefully settle her fears and

 answer the questions Miss Gardiner's unexpected visit had raised.

 

 

 

 She dressed with care, looking critically at her reflection in the mirror. The sweetheart neckline was slightly lower than she usually wore, but Anne fastened one of

 her mother's favorite necklaces about her neck and smiled with satisfaction. The simple lines held a certain elegance that suited her slender figure well, the blue of

 the dress enhancing her fair skin and natural radiance. Anne brushed her dark hair until it shone and put on Adam's favorite perfume. One final look in the mirror,

 and she left the room.

 

 

 

 Sinking into her favorite chair, Anne turned the lamp down and bowed her head. Inner turmoil coupled with uncertainty left an unsettled feeling in her heart---a

 feeling Anne wasn't familiar with and felt at a loss to deal with.

 

 

 

 "Dear Lord ," she prayed, "I don't really know what to do. Please help me---help both Adam and myself---." Galloping hooves outside diverted her attention ~

 Adam was home. Anne swallowed hard taking a deep breath and glanced in the mirror again. Stilling her heart, she waited until his footsteps neared the door, then

 silently swung it open for him.

 

 

 

 Adam caught his breath, a pleased smile lighting up his handsome face. Anne reached for his coat and briefcase as he stepped inside the house, his eyes never

 leaving hers.

 

 

 

 "Anne, you look lovely !" he said in admiration. "Is tonight a special occasion ?"

 

 

 

 "Uh huh, "Anne replied, putting her arms around his neck, "You're home."

 

 

 

 Adam pulled her close, capturing her lips with his own. Momentarily Anne felt completely secure in his love, distancing herself from the events of the day. She

 relaxed in his arms, looking up at him adoringly.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Adam, I've missed you so much today ," she whispered, a catch in her voice.

 

 

 

 He squeezed her shoulders, caressing them lovingly. "I've missed you, too, my Darling ," he returned, gently kissing her again.

 

 

 

 Anne closed her eyes, clinging to him affectionately. "Parting is such sweet sorrow ," she quoted softly, "but meeting again---Oh, Adam, it's wonderfully sweet

 with no sorrow whatsoever! I love you so much !"

 

 

 

 Adam suddenly scooped her up in his arms and sat down in his chair, crushing her to him. "I love you, too, Anne---more than you'll ever know." He lifted her chin

 tenderly and searched her face. "I've never been so happy, Darling."

 

 

 

 Jenny rang the dinner bell, interrupting their special moment, and Adam stole another kiss, helping Anne to her feet. He straightened his tie and offered her his arm,

 smiling into her eyes. They conversed pleasantly over dinner, Anne on purpose pushing the troubling matter to the back of her mind. Putting forth an extra effort to

 make Adam's evening a good one would take more concentration than unhappy thoughts would allow.

 

 

 

 The look of admiration in his eyes brought a glow to her cheeks. Anne smiled , lightly stroking his hand with her soft fingers. He moved to sit beside her, glancing

 again at her dress.

 

 

 

 "You really make that dress look beautiful, Anne ," he said in a low voice.

 

 

 

 Anne rested her finger in the cleft of his chin. "Thank you, Darling ," she whispered, "I'm glad you like it." He leaned forward, taking possession of her lips with his

 own as Anne surrendered to his warm and tender embrace.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam stirred up the fire and in silence they watched the flames licking around heavy logs on the grate. He turned to Anne, wrapping his strong arms around her.

 Their eyes met, Anne feeling the emotions of intense love for him and fear of losing him vying for control. Tears gathered in her eyes, and Adam withdrew his

 handkerchief wiping them away.

 

 

 

 "What is it ?" he asked gently. "Why are you crying, Anne ?"

 

 

 

 "Oh, Adam---!" her voice broke and leaning against his chest, she sobbed until her tears were spent. He held her firmly, caressing her back and shoulders tenderly.

 "I'm okay ," she whispered at last.

 

 

 

 Adam looked her in the eyes, shaking his head. "It's not like you, Darling. Please tell me what's wrong. Have I done something? Said something that's hurt you ?"

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head. "No---no it's not you." Slowly she told him about Victoria Gardiner's unexpected visit, dropping her eyes to the wedding band he wore. She

 reached for his hand and held it to her lips. "I---Oh, Adam, " she met his thoughtful gaze and held it. "I'm so confused."

 

 

 

 Adam's arms tightened around her. "She told you that I gave her that ring, but she had it before I ever met her ," he said reflectively. "Victoria tried to manipulate

 me in every way possible. Her father is my supervisor, and through him, she arranged to have me escort her all over the city to concerts and other social events.

 She even tried to come to America with me, but I flatly refused to allow it." he paused, frowning. "Captain Gardiner told me on more than one occasion that if I

 didn't accommodate Victoria, he'd make my tenure at the company a regrettable experience. I thought I could gracefully ease out of her circle of friends---out of

 her life with my voyage to America, though I didn't see it as running away from her. It's true that most people thought we were a couple, but I made it clear to her

 that we weren't." Adam drew a deep breath, stroking her velvet sleeve gently. "I should've told you about her---prepared you somehow. Can you forgive me,

 Anne ?"

 

 

 

 Anne lifted her eyes to his and lightly traced the outline of his lips with her fingers. "There's nothing to forgive, Darling, " she whispered. "You're so precious and

 wonderful. How could I ever doubt you ?"

 

 

 

 Adam smiled lovingly. "How could you help it, my Girl? You didn't know, and I'm sorry. I love you , Anne---so much." His lips met hers, effectively sealing the

 words he'd spoken and preventing her answer. Passionate love stirred in his breast as he held her close.

 

 

 

 Shadows deepened and the fire died down, leaving a few surviving embers in the ashes. Adam stirred it up, lifting Anne in his arms and tenderly kissing her neck.

 Without a word, he carried her down the hall to their room.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne opened the front door and looked down into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. A curly headed little fellow stood shyly twisting the toe of his scuffed boot on

 the step, a basket of flowers in his hands. He glanced up at her, a little smile peeking through the freckles on his tanned face. Anne lost her heart immediately.

 

 

 

 "Good afternoon !" she spoke cheerfully. "What can I do for you ?" Her smile was friendly and genuine, disarming the youngster's fears.

 

 

 

 "I'm selling flowers, Mum, I picked them fresh myself---out in the meadow behind the church. They don't cost much---." His voice dwindled away, a flush staining

 his cheeks.

 

 

 

 Anne put her hand on his shoulder. "I'd like to buy all of them ," she said gently. "How much are they ?"

 

 

 

 His eyes widened in surprise, but he named the price, and Anne counted out the money. As he turned to go, she spoke again.

 

 

 

 "I don't know your name. I'm Anne---Anne Cartwright. "

 

 

 

 He stopped and slowly faced her. "I'm Danny ," he said softly.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled again. "Danny, would you like some cookies and milk? I know where we can find some." she held out her hand invitingly.

 

 

 

 Danny hesitated, the offer so tempting. Finally he nodded and followed her into the house, leaving his boots by the door. Anne whispered instructions to Jenny and

 pulled a chair out from the small table in the kitchen.

 

 

 

 "Come, Danny. Jenny will bring a tray. "

 

 

 

 Shyly he joined her, hiding his hands in his jacket pockets. Anne sat across from him and propped her elbows on the table.

 

 

 

 "Where do you live, Danny ?" she asked gently.

 

 

 

 He looked up at her sadly, and Anne almost regretted asking. "At the orphanage, Mum."

 

 

 

 "I see. Do you have any brothers or sisters ?" Anne queried.

 

 

 

 He shook his head. "Not anymore. I had a baby sister, but she drowned with our parents at sea. I---don't have anybody."

 

 

 

 Anne felt tears gathering in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Danny ," she whispered. Jenny set tall glasses of milk and a large plate of cookies and sandwiches on the table. She

 smiled at Danny, squeezing his shoulder in passing.

 

 

 

 Danny swallowed hard and reached for a sandwich. "I missed them terribly for so long. Now it seems like they're just a dream that was never real. " He shrugged

 lightly. "At the orphanage, they don't let you cry over it. We have to try to forget and help make money to buy food."

 

 

 

 Anne wiped away a tear and managed a smile. "You're a brave lad, Danny " she said gently, reaching for a cookie. With great effort, she turned the conversation to

 topics of more pleasant things, recounting her experiences on the Ponderosa. He was fascinated.

 

 

 

 "I'd love that !" he said dreamily, a far away look in his blue eyes. "Horses---and plenty of space to ride for miles." Danny turned to Anne, his eyes sparkling. "Do

 you like to go fishing, Mum ?"

 

 

 

 "I've never been fishing, Danny. Is it fun ?" she asked

 

 

 

 "Oh, yes, Mum ," he replied eagerly. "You can watch the tiny minnows swimming around and see the frogs hopping on the bank. Except for them and the birds,

 everything is quiet and peaceful."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, making plans to discuss this later with Adam. "It sounds wonderful ," she agreed.

 

 

 

 He smiled up at her, and Anne's heart went out to him. He was so sweet and adorable---yet starved for love and acceptance. On impulse, she invited him to stay

 for supper, but he shook his head.

 

 

 

 "No, thank you, Mum. I shouldn't have stayed so long. The Matron will be wondering where I am. " He gulped the last swallow of milk and reached for another

 cookie. "Thank you for the lunch."

 

 

 

 Anne put her arm around him. "You're very welcome, Danny. I hope you'll come back and see me again. I'd like you to meet my husband, Adam. I think you two

 would get along fine."

 

 

 

 His face lit up. "I'll be back ," he promised, pulling his boots on. He waved goodbye, the empty basket filled with cookies Anne had packaged up for him. She

 watched him go, a longing in her heart to show him the love and affection he missed so much.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 "Should I be jealous of whoever sent you those flowers, Darling ?" Adam teased, taking her in his arms and kissing her affectionately.

 

 

 

 Anne's eyes twinkled. "Well, maybe---if you think dancing blue eyes, a cheerful smile and a multitude of little freckles could steal my heart away from you !"

 

 

 

 Adam raised his eyebrows, smiling down at her. "How old would you guess my little rival to be ?" he asked.

 

 

 

 Anne sobered. "I'd say around 10. He's adorable, Adam. His name is Danny, and his parents were drowned in a ship wreck so he lives at the orphanage. He sells

 whatever he can to help out there. Today it was flowers."

 

 

 

 Adam's eyes took on a tender expression. "He won your heart, didn't he ?" he asked softly.

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, biting her lower lip. "Oh, Adam, he's all alone. I invited him in for cookies and milk and for at least an hour we talked about the Ponderosa, fishing,

 and other things. I asked him to come back sometime."

 

 

 

 He drew her close, stroking her hair lovingly. "I'd like to meet him, too, Darling. Maybe we could arrange a little fishing trip---if the orphanage would allow it."

 

 

 

 Tears trickled down her cheeks. "Thank you, Adam ," she whispered. He lifted her chin, looking deeply into her eyes.

 

 

 

 "You have the heart of a mother, Anne ," he whispered. "That's one of the many things I love about you." Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her tenderly.

 

 

 

 Anne closed her eyes, his words meaningful and precious to her. The heart of a mother----someday she hoped to present Adam with his own son or daughter.

 Perhaps someday soon.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam tossed a letter on the table. "Anne, we got a letter from Pa today," he called. Anne hurried into the room and picked up the letter eagerly. Still sealed, she

 opened it and read aloud ~

 

 

 

 "Dear Adam and Anne,

 

 

 

 Howdy from the Ponderosa where the pines still touch the sky and the streams run clean and clear. Just thought I'd write and let you know how we all are here.

 

 

 

 The boys and I have been tracking wolves lately. They're pretty bad this year, and we've lost at least a dozen calves already. Last week Candy found a den of

 young ones and destroyed them. He's a big help.

 

 Joe and Alice were engaged not long ago and are planning a fall wedding. They seem very happy together. I'm glad he found a good girl like you did, Adam.

 

 

 

 Hoss has taken a great liking to wood working and has really gotten quite good at it. He speaks of you often and misses you very much. We all do.

 

 

 

 Timber and mining have both been good this year. We have reliable crews for both. You know what a difference that makes.

 

 

 

 Joe is going to Virginia City, so I'll have him post this for me. Please write when you can. It gets pretty lonely sometimes when the boys are out on the range. I don't

 ride with them as much anymore. Guess I'm getting old.

 

 

 

 I love you both. Everyone says Hello. Hop Sing, too.

 

 

 

 Love, Pa"

 

 

 

 Anne folded the letter and looked up. "He sounds sad, doesn't he?" she commented. "It reminds me of when he told us goodbye at the stage. He was blinking back

 tears and trying to smile at the same time."

 

 

 

 Adam nodded and rested his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. "When I was younger, I thought Pa would always be strong and active. That he'd never get

 old." he sighed. "It's hard to think of him like that.I'm just glad he's still got Hoss and Joe. Candy, too."

 

 

 

 Anne agreed. "We should write to him soon," she suggested. "I don't like the thought of him being lonely."

 

 

 

 He smiled. "Neither do I. Let's write this evening and let him know we're fine," he paused, adding, "He'll enjoy hearing about Danny, too. "

 

 

 

 Anne nodded. Ben was a special man. She wished she could've gotten to know him better, and loved him dearly despite their brief acquaintance.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Ben read the letter for about the tenth time, and handed it to Hoss who'd just come in from the corral. Joe was out with Alice, and Candy headed up a cattle drive

 in Texas. Hoss read it aloud slowly. Finishing, he lowered the sheet of paper and looked up at Ben.

 

 

 

 "They sound really happy together, don't they Pa?" he asked.

 

 

 

 "Yes, Son, they sure do," Ben replied. "I'm so glad they've got each other."

 

 

 

 Hoss agreed. "Yep, they get along just like two peas in a pod. I like to think about how they met."

 

 

 

 Ben nodded. "Maybe you should go into Virginia City and meet the stage more often yourself," he teased. Hoss only grinned at him.

 

 

 

 "If only they didn't live so far away. I wish they was comin' home soon," he said wistfully.

 

 

 

 "I do, too, Son," Ben replied. "But Adam's job keeps him really busy. They'll come when they can. That little Danny seems to mean alot to them."

 

 

 

 Hoss nodded. "Yeah, I reckon he does. I miss Adam more than I used to. I think Joe does, too."

 

 

 

 Ben smiled. His three sons were so different, but he was very proud of each one of the men they'd become.

 

 

 

 "Do you want another cup of coffee?" Hoss asked, getting to his feet and picking up his own empty cup.

 

 

 

 "Thank you, Son ," Ben held out his cup, and Hoss disappeared into the kitchen.

 

 

 

 Ben leaned back in his easy chair. "Thank you, Lord, for my family," he prayed softly, "Please keep them safe, and bring us all together again soon."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam, Anne, and Danny rode to the quiet mountain stream not far from the orphanage. It was Danny's first time ever riding horseback and the experience thrilled

 him greatly. A pack horse plodded along behind with the picnic basket and fishing supplies. Anne watched Adam and Danny, smiling to herself. Adam was a

 natural with the boy, and she envisioned him with his own son.

 

 

 

 Danny helped Adam set up their small picnic site, spreading a large thick quilt on the ground and finding a comfortable rock for Anne close by while the two fished.

 She pulled her heavy shawl closer and shivered a little in the light fall breeze. It was a perfect day for the outing.

 

 

 

 Adam told Danny about his boyhood while they fished, gradually drawing the boy's own story out. The two had become fast friends, Danny admiring Adam's

 strength, knowledge of nature, and life on the Ponderosa. Secretly he wished he could always live with the Cartwrights---they were happy and treated him like he

 was somebody special. He felt secure and loved with them.

 

 

 

 Anne leaned forward. "Danny !" she exclaimed. "Your pole is moving---does that mean you've caught a fish ?"

 

 

 

 He grinned up at her. "Maybe, but I think it's just nibbling. When the pole jerks hard, then I think I'll have him."

 

 

 

 Adam caught Anne's eye and smiled at her. Stepping closer, he took her hand. "Why don't you try it, Anne ? It's not that hard at all. " she hesitated briefly, and he

 added, "I'll bait the hook for you."

 

 

 

 Anne's cheeks dimpled. "Then I'd like to try it ," she replied allowing him to help her down. She stood between Adam and Danny, both of them watching her efforts

 carefully.

 

 

 

 "That's it, " Danny said softly. "Just move it a little to attract attention to the bait."

 

 

 

 Anne moved the pole, smiling down at him. "Thank you, Danny. Who taught you how to fish ?"

 

 

 

 Danny looked away. "My Papa did, before----." He bit his lip and Anne slipped her arm around his thin shoulders.

 

 

 

 "He taught you well, Danny. I appreciate you teaching me." She jostled her line slightly, ruffling his hair.

 

 

 

 Adam pulled in a fish, adding it to the ones he and Danny had already caught. Anne admired it, tightening the grip on her pole as the line began to move vigorously.

 

 

 

 "You've got one !" Danny whispered excitedly. "Just give him a little more line---now! Pull him in !"

 

 

 

 A short time later, Anne proudly held up her first catch, laughing delightedly. Adam and Danny congratulated her successful efforts and added hers to their catch.

 

 

 

 The remainder of the day was a dream come true for Danny. The campfire, baked fish, stories, and ride home made him one happy youngster. Adam walked him

 to the orphanage door, speaking briefly to the Matron. Bidding Danny a good night, he returned to Anne and they rode home together in silence.

 

 

 

 Lifting Anne down from the saddle, he held her close. "I'm proud of you, Anne. You made Danny feel so special, letting him teach you how to fish. Do you know

 what he said to me about you ?"

 

 

 

 Anne's eyes shone in the moonlight. Shaking her head, she replied, "No---what did he say ?"

 

 

 

 Adam smiled, looking up at the stars. "When we were building the campfire, he told me, 'Adam, when I'm a man, I hope I can find a lady as wonderful as your

 Anne. She's so much like my mother.' He's a thoughtful boy, that Danny--- perceptive, too. I hope we can do more for him."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, squeezing his arms affectionately. "Thank you, Darling. I loved watching you with him. I admire how easily the two of you communicated. He thinks

 you're wonderful, too."

 

 

 

 Adam drew her close, gently capturing her lips. Anne snuggled into his embrace, returning his kiss warmly and lovingly. Only the stars overhead observed the young

 couple, winking in approval.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam stooped down beside Anne, arranging the blankets with care. "Anne ," he said, his voice low, "Anne, are you okay? It's half way through the morning." He

 set a tray with coffee and fruit on the table beside her.

 

 

 

 Anne opened her eyes, blinking at the sunlight that spilled over the windowsill. She smiled up at him, moving the blankets to take his hand.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Adam, I tried to get up earlier, but I felt so sick I just couldn't." She glanced at the food and turned away. "I'm sorry, Darling---just the fragrance of the coffee

 makes me feel ill."

 

 

 

 Adam knelt down beside her, moving the tray farther away. His face reflected worry and concern. "I'll get the doctor, Anne. He'll know what to do for you."

 

 

 

 Anne lifted her hand in protest, but Adam caught it, pressing it to his lips. "Don't argue with me, my Girl. I'll be back soon."

 

 

 

 She nodded reluctantly. "I'm sure I'll be fine, Adam. "

 

 

 

 "I want to make sure, Darling. You rest until I get back, okay ?" He kissed her lovingly, looking into her dark eyes with gentleness. "I love you, Anne. I don't know

 what I'd do without you. "

 

 

 

 Anne traced the outline of his jaw, smiling up at him. "I love you, too, Adam. Hurry back."

 

 

 

 Adam returned with the local doctor who gruffly ordered him to stay out on the hall while he examined Anne. After a few questions and checking her vital signs, he

 stepped to the door.

 

 

 

 "Mr. Cartwright, come on in." Adam stood quickly and entered, pulling a small chair close to the bed. He glanced at Anne and reached for her hand, turning to the

 doctor.

 

 

 

 "Well Doc ?" he asked impatiently. "What seems to be wrong ?"

 

 

 

 "Nothing. " The doctor retorted briskly. "Your wife is fine, Lad. Give her a few days and she'll be back to normal---at least for a while."

 

 

 

 Adam frowned. "You're not making much sense, Doc ," he said with a forced calm. "Anne's fine, but only temporarily ? What do you mean ?"

 

 

 

 The doctor managed a grim smile. "You're going to be a father, Mr. Cartwright. Other than that, I'd say nothing is wrong, wouldn't you ?"

 

 

 

 Adam overlooked his gruffness, a smile growing across his face. "Thanks, Doc ," he replied in relief, smiling at Anne. "How much do I owe you for the house call ?"

 

 

 

 The doctor shook his head. "Nothing this time. I remember when my wife and I had our first child. If you do think something is wrong as time goes by, stop in my

 office anytime. I'll be in touch." Adam stood to see him out, but the doctor held up his hand. "No need---I can find my way out. You stay here and make sure your

 wife doesn't get any worse." His eyes twinkled as he left the room.

 

 

 

 Adam turned to Anne, his handsome face illuminated with joy. "Anne ," he breathed. "A baby! Why didn't I think of that? Oh, Darling---!" He squeezed her

 shoulders, smiling down at her.

 

 

 

 Anne reached for his hands. "Isn't it wonderful, Adam? I'm so happy---! I had wondered, but I wasn't sure. Oh, Adam !!" She sat up, wrapping her arms around

 his neck and kissing him tenderly.

 

 

 

 He held her gently, the reality that they would be parents sinking in. "Anne, I want you to be very careful. Promise me you won't go out by yourself or do anything

 that requires alot of work. Please? "

 

 

 

 Anne tipped her head back to look him in the eye. She noted the seriousness on his face, and her heart melted in response to the love reflected there. "I promise,

 Adam. I'll be careful---for you and for our little one."

 

 

 

 Adam smiled at her, his dark eyes intense with emotion as he drew her close. "Anne Darling, I'm so happy. Happier than I ever thought possible."

 

 

 

 Anne buried her face against his chest. "So am I ," she whispered. "Oh, Adam, so am I."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Ben sat at his desk going over the figures from the last sale of timber again. Prices were good this year, but supplies were higher, too. He rubbed his aching temples

 wearily. More than once he'd missed Adam's assistance with the account books. Neither Hoss nor Joe were thus inclined, and Ben felt the added weight of age

 settling down on his broad shoulders.

 

 

 

 He roused suddenly at the sound of someone galloping at top speed reached his ears. Pulling back the curtain, he recognized Hoss on Chub, tearing madly into the

 yard. His first impulse was that something must have happened--- maybe to Joe, and he hurried outside. Hoss met him half way to the corral, excitedly waving two

 pieces of paper.

 

 

 

 "Sorry, Pa ," he apologized, breathlessly. "but I had to open it. Guess I was a little careless."

 

 

 

 "Had to open what ?" Ben asked, puzzled.

 

 

 

 "This---it's from Adam. They usually don't write so often, and---"

 

 

 

 "Well, what does it say ?" Ben cut in, impatiently.

 

 

 

 Hoss held up his hand, "I'm gettin' to that--- Anne's gonna have a baby, Pa! I'm gonna be an uncle !!" He threw the papers up in the air.

 

 

 

 Ben gave him an exasperated look, but he was smiling as he reached for the fragmented letter from his eldest son. Piecing it together, he read the message, then

 looked up at Hoss.

 

 

 

 "Isn't it wonderful, Hoss? My first grandchild! And they may come home in the spring---" he shook his head. "Where's Joe? Does he know yet ?"

 

 

 

 Hoss nodded. "Yep, he can't wait neither. He's bringin' the wagon load of supplies from Virginia City. "

 

 

 

 Ben nodded. "Good ," he smiled broadly, picturing Adam as a father. He'll be a good one, he thought to himself. Spring couldn't come any too soon for him.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne made out a list for yarn and knitting needles, and Adam purchased them for her on his way home from work. She busied herself creating sweaters, booties,

 and little afghans, relishing the thought that before too much longer a little Cartwright would be wearing them.

 

 

 

 Adam fingered a tiny sweater in amazement and looked at the pile of items she'd completed. "You're amazing, Anne! How can you get so much done ?"

 

 

 

 Her eyes twinkled. "Well, thanks to you and Jenny, I don't have much else to do !" she retorted good-naturedly.

 

 

 

 He faked an innocent look, then grinned and picked up his guitar. "Are you in the mood for some music ?" he asked.

 

 

 

 "Always, if you're the musician, " she replied, laying her knitting aside and sitting down on a footstool beside him.

 

 

 

 Adam played and sang many of their favorites, Anne joining in on a few of them. When he stopped to rest a bit, Anne smiled up at him. "Our baby is going to love

 your singing," she said dreamily, her hand resting lightly on his knee.

 

 

 

 He gave her a charming smile and strummed a lullaby that nearly put her to sleep.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam tossed a paper onto the table and shook the raindrops from his overcoat. Anne picked up the bulletin and read it carefully, glancing up at Adam.

 

 

 

 "A company banquet---how lovely ," she remarked.

 

 

 

 He nodded slowly. "I've never enjoyed them before ," he replied. "This year will be different---I have you to take with me." He smiled at her. "I know what I want

 you to wear, too. Come with me, Anne."

 

 

 

 Anne followed him down the short hallway and waited while he selected the dress of his choice. He carefully pulled it out, holding it up to her. Anne smiled, not at

 all surprised that he'd chosen her ivory satin gown with rich gold trim and full sweeping skirt.

 

 

 

 "Do you think it will fit okay ?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "You know, I'm not quite as trim as I was when that dress was made." She laid her hand on her

 abdomen, a twinkle in her eyes.

 

 

 

 Adam hung the dress back in the closet and put his arms around her. "You look beautiful to me ," he said admiringly. "If it doesn't fit, we'll find something else. I like

 that particular dress because it's so elegant on you." he paused meaningfully. "Victoria Gardiner will be there, and I want to show you off."

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head, smiling. "You're wonderful, Adam. I want to make you proud, too. If at all possible, I'll wear it for you."

 

 

 

 He took her face in his hands, their lips meeting in a tender lingering kiss. Thoughts of the banquet were of no importance at that moment---both savoring the

 opportunity to be with the one dearest to their hearts.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 They had gone for a walk in a lovely lush meadow, basking in the warm sunshine. Adam stopped to admire a natural rock sculpture and looking up, saw

 that Anne had walked on ahead. She kept walking, and looked back once urging him to catch up with her. He tried, but his legs wouldn't move fast

 enough. Soon she disappeared in a thick grove of trees, but when he reached them, she was no where in sight. He called her name, but she didn't answer.

 With a dreadful uncertainty filling his breast, Adam left the woods, scanning the nearby bluffs carefully.

 

 

 

 A baby began to cry and he looked around frantically, finally spotting a small bundle by an outcropping of rocks. He picked up the wailing infant, completely

 bewildered. Where was Anne? And who did the baby belong to? Desperately he searched everywhere, but she had vanished.

 

 

 

 The baby cried louder, and Adam tried to comfort it while he continued to look for Anne. He was getting so tired---- It was beginning to get dark---- He'd

 never find Anne----!

 

 

 

 Adam sat bolt upright in bed, beads of perspiration gathering on his forehead. He couldn't remember a worse nightmare or when one had seemed so real. Almost

 fearfully, he looked to see if Anne was okay. A slight smile parted her lips and the rhythmic rise and fall of the blankets told him she was fine. He reached out his

 hand to touch her shoulder, then withdrew it---there was no need to wake her up. He breathed deeply and shook his head trying to clear his mind, but the dream

 was too vivid. Reaching for his robe, he quietly slipped out of bed, and walked to the living room.

 

 

 

 He dropped into a chair, then rose and paced the floor anxiously. What did it mean? Would he lose Anne after the baby was born? He closed his eyes, gripping

 the back of a chair and willed himself to think rationally. Adam wished suddenly that his father were near. There were so many questions he'd like to ask him.

 Uncustomary tears stung his eyes and streamed down his cheeks, but he didn't care. The dream was so real---he felt as if he were already grieving.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne turned over and awoke immediately. Something was different. She felt Adam's side of the bed---it was empty, and his cold pillow told her he'd been up for

 sometime. She shook her head and pushed the blankets back. Pulling on her robe, she padded lightly down the hall and stopped at the living room door. Adam sat

 slumped in a chair, his chin in his hands, elbows on his knees.

 

 

 

 She was all set to tease him about getting in early practice for night-time care of the baby, when she caught sight of tears clinging to his lashes and hesitated

 uncertainly. Adam was so strong emotionally, and always soothed her spirits and dried her tears. Anne wondered what could be troubling him?

 

 

 

 Stepping closer, she touched his shoulder. "Adam ," she whispered. "Adam, what's wrong ?"

 

 

 

 Adam looked up, startled. Seeing Anne, he straightened in the chair and pulled her down on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, his whole frame shaking with

 the sobs he'd tried vainly to subdue. Anne was thoroughly perplexed and very concerned.

 

 

 

 Finally, he regained control and pulled himself together. Anne wiped the tears from his face and kissed him tenderly, waiting patiently for an explanation, but when

 none was forthcoming, asked gently, "Why couldn't you sleep ?"

 

 

 

 Adam shook his head, an anguished look in his dark eyes. "Oh, Anne, I had the worst nightmare possible---" He told her all about it and Anne's heart broke for

 him. When he finished, he studied the dancing firelight, and asked soberly,

 

 

 

 "Anne, what if you don't make it when the baby comes ?" He faced her then, the fear evident in his voice.

 

 

 

 Anne closed her eyes, thinking carefully. She began slowly, "There are alot of things we don't know for certain ," she said. "I hope your dream doesn't come true,

 and I know we'll both do all we can to make sure it doesn't, but, Adam, we can't live in fear, afraid of what might happen. We have to trust---in God. "

 

 

 

 "I know ," he whispered, huskily. "Did I ever tell you how my mother died ?"

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head. "You said she died when you were little."

 

 

 

 He nodded. "She wasn't well when I was born. Pa said she named me just before she slipped away. I know her only from pictures and what Pa told me about her."

 His arms tightened around her. "Anne, I'm afraid it will be like that for us. What will I do ?" his voice rose slightly.

 

 

 

 "Shhhh, Darling, " Anne soothed, pressing her cheek against his. She wiped away a few more tears, her own included. "You've had such deep pain inside for so

 long, and I didn't know. I'm so sorry." She looked away briefly, then went on, "When my mother died, I hurt so much, I wanted to be with her. My father grieved,

 too, but he was able to go on with life and go back to work. I couldn't understand how he could be so strong. One day I asked him how and why and all the

 questions I'd locked away in my heart for so long." She paused and looked Adam in the eye, gently resting her finger in the cleft of his chin. "He told me that his

 faith in, and relationship with God were not just to get him through this life, but to prepare him for the next one. He had hope in his heart. I realized, though only a

 little girl, that my Pa was strong in God's strength and that made the difference. Do you know what I'm talking about ?"

 

 

 

 Adam sighed deeply. "Pa always raised us to believe in God. I'd like to think I had what your Pa talked about." he hesitated, and swallowed hard, reaching for her

 hand. "Anne, will you tell me how ?"

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne slipped the gorgeous dress over her head with Adam's assistance. He helped her straighten the rich fabric, shaking out the folds and ruffles. She looked up at

 him, smoothing the full skirt over her abdomen.

 

 

 

 "How does it look ?" she asked anxiously.

 

 

 

 He smiled. "Fine ," he answered promptly, "And you look positively wonderful !" He leaned towards her careful not to mess up the dress, but Anne threw her

 arms around his neck, embracing him warmly.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Adam, I love you !" she said with feeling. He bent his head to kiss her, whispering his reply.

 

 

 

 Anne reached for his tie on the dresser and slipped it around his neck. "I'm glad you asked me to come with you this evening ," she commented, tying it expertly.

 He glanced down at her nimble fingers and caught them in his strong hand, kissing them gently and looking down into her eyes.

 

 

 

 "I'll never take another woman out again, Anne Darling, You're the only one for me."

 

 

 

 She smiled and curtsied sweetly. "Thank you, kind Sir, " Handing him his coat, she helped him slip it on and faced him once more. "Adam, you are so handsome!

 I'm proud to be going out with you tonight !"

 

 

 

 He squeezed her arms affectionately, capturing her lips with his once more. "You're so beautiful, Anne---inside and out. I'm proud to be your escort."

 

 

 

 The convention center was already filling up quickly when Adam and Anne arrived. An austere butler led them to the banquet hall, pointing out the table where they

 were expected to sit. As they approached it, Adam groaned under his breath. Anne followed his glance and noted Victoria Gardiner seated near the center of the

 table.

 

 

 

 "Anne ," he said softly, "If they've put me next to Miss Gardiner, will you trade places with me, please ?"

 

 

 

 Anne nodded. "Yes, Darling, I will ," she replied in an undertone. He covered her hand on his arm gently and pressed her fingers lovingly.

 

 

 

 "Did I tell you how lovely you look tonight, Anne ?" he asked as they neared the table, looking intently into her eyes. Anne knew Victoria couldn't help overhearing

 and saw the angry flush that crept over her face.

 

 

 

 "Why, yes, Adam---you did, but I love to hear it more than once ," she replied sweetly, matching dimples flashing as she smiled up at him.

 

 

 

 Adam pulled her chair out for her, deftly rearranging the place cards and seating Anne next to Victoria. He leaned close to her. "I could kiss you right now ," he

 murmured in her hair.

 

 

 

 Anne caught her breath, her own color mounting. "Oh, Adam! Let's not carry this too far !" she cautioned softly. He tenderly squeezed her shoulders and took his

 seat reaching for her hand. Victoria watched them through veiled lashes and looked up as her father arrived. One upward glance at him and he turned to Adam.

 

 

 

 "Why, Adam---great to see you! There must be some mistake, though. Wasn't your seat this one, next to Victoria?" There was no doubting the slight intended for

 Anne.

 

 

 

 Adam calmly stood to his feet and smiled confidently. "No mistake, Mr. Gardiner. I moved the place cards myself. Have you met my lovely wife ~ Anne ?" He put

 his hand on her shoulder, and Anne looked up, smiling graciously.

 

 

 

 "How do you do, Sir ?" she asked quietly.

 

 

 

 He smiled warmly in return, bowing courteously. "How do you do, Mrs. Cartwright ?" He reached for her hand and kissed it lightly as Victoria whispered, " Daddy

 !" Mr. Gardiner silenced her with a look and clapped Adam on the shoulder.

 

 

 

 "Well, Lad, you must've done better on your voyage to America than we thought !"

 

 

 

 Adam laughed softly. "Yes, Mr. Gardiner. I certainly did. Thank you. " He took his seat beside Anne as Mr. Gardiner took Victoria's arm and marched her to the

 other side of the room.

 

 

 

 When Victoria returned, she moved her place card to the far end of the long table, leaving her father to take the seat beside Anne. He proved to be very pleasant,

 though a bit more talkative than to Anne's liking. She conversed with him during the elegant meal but felt relieved when he excused himself to enjoy his cigar in the

 adjoining room. Adam touched her arm.

 

 

 

 "Shall we go, Dear ?" He held her coat for her, and Anne slipped it on gracefully, nodding her assent.

 

 

 

 They made their way into the large hall and finally exited the expansive building. The stars were out in abundance, twinkling like millions of diamonds above them.

 

 

 

 "Look at that !" Anne breathed in awe. " 'The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament showeth His handiwork.' " she quoted reverently. "Adam, isn't it

 magnificent ?"

 

 

 

 "It sure is ," He nodded, struck by their beauty as well, but drew her arm within his own. "I can't get over what a wonderful masterpiece He made in you ," his

 voice was low and resonant--- his eyes filled with love.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled up at him. "You're so precious, Adam ," she whispered. "Thank you."

 

 

 

 Adam lifted her chin gently with his fingers and kissed her tenderly, the longing in his heart reflected on his face. "Let's go home, Anne ," he whispered, holding her

 close.

 

 

 

 Anne took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's go."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 The door to the house was open, inviting the cool fall breezes to enter. Ben sat in his easy chair reading his favorite Dicken's book, and glancing from time to time

 towards the door.

 

 

 

 Hoss was out in the barn, working on something---

 

 

 

 "Somethin' special for Adam and Anne ," he'd declared days earlier, "Don't nobody go sneakin' around tryin' to find it. I'll show ya when I'm finished."

 

 

 

 It was getting late, and Ben closed the book. "I'd better check on Hoss," he said quietly.

 

 

 

 Joe looked up and nodded briefly. He was engrossed in drawing the plans for a house he'd be building for Alice soon.

 

 

 

 Candy stood up and stretched. "I'll come with you, Mr. Cartwright."

 

 

 

 The two men neared the barn, and Ben cautiously pushed the door open. "Hoss ," he called. "Hoss, are you out here ?"

 

 

 

 There was no answer, and Ben looked questioningly at Candy. They stepped inside and started to look around. In the corner, Ben could make out a form slumped

 over the work bench. "Candy !" Ben called, "Over here !"

 

 

 

 Ben reached Hoss first and pulled his shoulder back. "Hoss ," he spoke with a note of urgency, "Son, what's wrong ?" Candy bent down concerned.

 

 

 

 Hoss blinked a couple of times, his breathing labored. "Pa, it's---my heart ," he gasped, "I feel---I feel so---weak. The cradle, Pa---give it--- to Adam---the

 baby---." A sigh, and his body relaxed.

 

 

 

 Tears sprang to Ben's eyes. "Hoss !" he nearly shouted. Turning to Candy, he said hoarsely, "Get Joe."

 

 

 

 Candy was back with Joe in an instant. Joe fell to the barn barn floor beside his brother, calling out his name, but there was no reply. Covering his face with his

 hands, he sobbed brokenly. Candy stumbled out to the corral, blinded by his own tears. Hoss was like a brother to him. He felt numb inside.

 

 

 

 Ben touched Joe's shoulder. "Let's get him to the house, Son."

 

 

 

 Joe nodded and helped Ben half carry him out of the barn. Candy joined them, and together the three men cared for the body of the gentle giant they'd loved so

 much.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne had finished piecing a little quilt and stretched wearily when a knock at the door startled her. A quick check out the window revealed it was only the telegraph

 carrier and hurrying to the door, she signed for the letter. It was from Ben. Adam wouldn't be home for another hour, so she carefully slit the envelope and read the

 brief message, a cry escaping her lips. Sinking into the nearest chair, she began to sob uncontrollably. It couldn't be--Hoss couldn't be dead!

 

 

 

 She pictured him in her mind the first time she'd met him. His pleasant smile that only asked her to accept him for who he was. She'd been glad to, and found in him

 a gentle, strong friend. She remembered the kitten he'd brought to keep her company once when Adam was away. Hoss was so thoughtful---.

 

 

 

 Adam heard her sobs the minute he stepped into the house, fear striking his heart as he hurried to find her. She sat near the fireplace, the letter on the floor. His face

 registered immediate concern. Kneeling by her chair, he asked, "Anne, what's wrong ?"

 

 

 

 Anne flung herself into his arms, replying brokenly, "It's Hoss, Adam. Hoss is dead."

 

 

 

 He held her, the truth sinking in. " How ?" he managed, his voice thick with emotion.

 

 

 

 But Anne couldn't tell him. He picked up the letter and read the brief message through tear-filled eyes. It simply said:

 

 

 

 "Hoss died of heart failure suddenly.

 

 We knew you'd want to know.

 

 Love, Pa and Joe"

 

 

 

 The paper fell from his fingers and he allowed himself the solace of grief. Finally, their tears spent, he led Anne to the window overlooking the backyard. Watching

 a scampering squirrel, he sighed deeply.

 

 

 

 "I can't imagine home without Hoss, Anne. I was 6 when he was born, and we were good pals from the very beginning. He needed me to protect him from danger

 on the praries heading West. He was always big, and sometimes kids were so cruel in their teasing. I fought for him until he could fight for himself. I helped him with

 his lessons in school." He paused and bit his lower lip, then continued brokenly. "I should never have left the Ponderosa. There was just too much work for Hoss to

 help Joe and Pa with."

 

 

 

 Anne put her hand on his arm, shaking her head. "No, Adam. It's not your fault. You left because it was time for you to go. Don't blame yourself. Please, Darling."

 She leaned against him blinking back more tears.

 

 

 

 Adam closed his eyes against the tears that filled them once more, seeing Hoss as he'd been at his and Anne's wedding. He was so proud, his face wreathed in

 smiles. Somehow he knew Hoss didn't blame him for leaving. His arms tightened around Anne, and he whispered, "I'll try, Anne, I'll try ,"

 

 

 

 Jenny understood and fixed a light meal for them. Her heart ached for the loss both felt so deeply. She shook her head sadly, and breathed a silent prayer for

 strength and healing.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Winter had come to the western shores of the British Isles. The cold, damp chill made Anne homesick for America, but she kept it to herself. Adam needed her to

 be his sunshine, and she avoided melancholy topics at all cost. She knew he still struggled with personal blame over Hoss's death, but signs of acceptance that it

 wasn't so encouraged her. He was strong, yet vulnerable ~ Anne often went out of her way to comfort and cheer him. He knew when she put forth extra effort, and

 though he said little about it, loved and cherished her more for it.

 

 

 

 The day Joe's letter arrived belatedly informing them of his and Alice's wedding some weeks before was a cause for celebration. The words were few and

 scrawled as if written in a great hurry.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled, picturing the handsome LIttle Joe in her mind. "They sound like a very happy couple ," she commented to Adam.

 

 

 

 He nodded. "We used to wonder if Joe would ever settle down and get married. He dated just about every eligible young maiden between the Ponderosa and

 Virginia City. We lost count how many times his heart was broken." He shook his head, remembering several instances. "Poor, Joe, we were pretty hard on him

 sometimes."

 

 

 

 Anne read the message again. "I'm sure it was only because you love him ," she reminded Adam. "Alice must be pretty special to have won his heart for good."

 

 

 

 "I hope so ," he replied. "I didn't know her or her family. They must have moved to the area after I left."

 

 

 

 Anne smiled. "I look forward to meeting Alice someday," she said softly, placing her hand lightly on her abdomen. "Someday--- after our little one is born."

 

 

 

 Adam glanced up at her and rising to his feet, encircled her with his arms. He held her close in silence, then lifted her chin and kissed her gently. "You're very

 precious to me, Anne ," he whispered.

 

 

 

 Anne's eyes held his for a moment before his lips sought hers again. Only he heard the answer of her heart.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne was at the children's home working with Danny . Many a weekend he'd spent in the Cartwright home since his first visit, and Anne tried to visit him at least

 once a week. This would be one of her last visits because a kind family from Ireland had filed for adoption. She was helping him with his lessons, when the first

 contraction stopped her. Wincing in pain, Anne took a deep breath, and tried to explain the question again to Danny, but found it hard to concentrate.

 

 

 

 "Danny ," she said, a note of urgency in her voice, "Will you tell the Matron I need to leave early today? Ask her to get word to Mr. Cartwright to come home

 immediately. Please."

 

 

 

 He looked up, surprised. "Yes, Mum, I'll tell her. Is it your baby ?"

 

 

 

 She nodded. "I think so, Danny."

 

 

 

 He gave her a quick hug and left to follow her instructions carefully.

 

 

 

 The groundskeeper drove Anne the short distance to her home, and Jenny sent her to bed immediately. She made a cup of strong tea, promising to send for the

 doctor in plenty of time. Anne was slowly sipping the tea, when the door burst open and Adam rushed in, throwing his coat on a chair as he passed it. He went

 straight to Anne.

 

 

 

 "Are you all right ?" he asked with concern.

 

 

 

 She smiled. "I'm fine, but I'm so glad you're here, Adam."

 

 

 

 "So am I ," he nodded and smiled in return. Leaning closer, he whispered, "I'm not afraid for you, Anne Darling. You're going to make it."

 

 

 

 Anne reached up and hugged him. "I'm proud of you, Adam."

 

 

 

 He rolled up the sleeves of his crisp white shirt, loosening his tie and sat beside her, holding her hand. Together they counted the minutes between each contraction.

 

 

 

 "I didn't have any siblings ," she told him once, then gripped his hand, closing her eyes until the contraction passed. "Maybe my mother had a reason for only having

 me."

 

 

 

 Adam grinned at her, smoothing her hair back from her face. "Maybe ," he said sympathetically, leaning forward to kiss her gently.

 

 

 

 It was towards late afternoon before the doctor arrived, apologizing for being later than he'd planned. He opened his satchel and examined Anne. "She's doing fine,

 Mr. Cartwright. You can wait out in the hall. I'll call you if you're needed."

 

 

 

 Adam looked at Anne, but she had turned away, her face etched with pain. "I'd like to stay, Doc--- she needs me now ," he replied firmly.

 

 

 

 As if to confirm it, Anne threw herself in his arms, sobbing. Holding her in his strong arms, he looked up at the doctor and raised his eyebrows, a look of

 determination on his face. The doctor opened his mouth to protest, but Anne spoke first.

 

 

 

 "Please, Doctor, I ---want him to stay." She took deep breaths, trying to ease the pain.

 

 

 

 He hesitated momentarily, before turning to Adam. He nodded curtly. "Just stay out of my way ," he instructed gruffly.

 

 

 

 Adam nodded obediently. "I'll just be here for Anne ," he promised.

 

 

 

 Two full hours later, a healthy baby boy was born. Adam had worried something was wrong, but the doctor informed him that if he didn't stop asking how much

 longer and if Anne really was okay, he'd personally remove him from the room, and Adam kept his worries to himself after that. Relief filled his heart when the

 baby arrived safely, and Anne was still with him.

 

 

 

 Anne lay back against the pillows, pale and weak. "How do you feel ?" Adam asked softly, caressing her face tenderly.

 

 

 

 "Tired ," she replied simply, "but I'm fine."

 

 

 

 The doctor brought their little son wrapped in Anne's miniature quilt to the bedside and placed him in Adam's arms. In awe, he watched the sleeping baby. "He's

 ours, Anne ," he whispered.

 

 

 

 She smiled, nodding. "Yes, Darling, and he's as handsome as his Pa ," she remarked, observing them both..

 

 

 

 He shook his head. "It's been years since I was that cute ," he quipped. Anne laughed softly.

 

 

 

 "Then let me be the judge of that ," she returned.

 

 

 

 Adam focused the next few moments on the baby. "You know ," he said thoughtfully, "we never did decide on a name. Do you have one picked out ?"

 

 

 

 Anne looked at the wee infant, then back at her husband. Placing her hand on his vest lapel, she answered, "Adam Charles."

 

 

 

 "Adam Charles Cartwright ," he repeated. "I like it, Anne."

 

 

 

 "Good ," She smiled with contentment. "May I hold him, please ?"

 

 

 

 He carefully transferred the baby to her arms and sat back, watching his family proudly. The doctor stepped up behind him. "Mr. Cartwright, I'd like to see you for

 a moment. " With another smile of reassurance for Anne, Adam followed him out into the hall. Once outside the room, he turned to Adam,

 

 

 

 "It's a good thing your wife is a strong woman, Mr. Cartwright. She had me worried a couple of times."

 

 

 

 Adam's face registered shock. "What do you mean, Doc ?" his voice was even, demanding a direct answer. "You didn't say so in there."

 

 

 

 The doctor took a deep breath. "No, but once she almost lost consciousness, and I was afraid we were losing her--- You---didn't know ?" he looked surprised.

 

 

 

 Adam shook his head, feeling the dreaded fear clutching at his heart. "No, I didn't.." he answered numbly.

 

 

 

 Raising his eyebrows, the doctor continued. "Hmmm. I thought you did. You were watching her very carefully and then bowed your head. I thought for sure you

 were praying she'd pull through."

 

 

 

 "I never stopped doing that ," Adam replied tersely. "Will she be okay ?"

 

 

 

 "She'll be fine." the doctor answered, "It's remarkable how quickly things turned around for her. Like I said, she's a strong woman."

 

 

 

 Adam paid him for his services, and after seeing him to the door, returned to Anne. He stopped briefly at the door. Anne was nursing the baby and humming softly

 to him. Brushing his hand across his eyes, he swallowed the lump in his throat, and pushed back the what if's , counting his blessings instead. His family was safe

 and whole. Stepping to the bedside, he stooped down and kissed Anne's forehead.

 

 

 

 She looked up smiling. "I thought you were never coming back. Besides paying him, why did the doctor want to see you ?"

 

 

 

 Adam drew in a deep breath and slowly sat down beside her. With a troubled expression on his handsome face, he recounted the doctor's worries. To his surprise,

 Anne only nodded.

 

 

 

 "You knew ?" he asked.

 

 

 

 She reached for his hand. "Yes, I could tell I wasn't doing very well. I felt like everything was slipping away from me, but I couldn't find the strength or the words to

 let you know." Adam leaned forward, holding her hand to his lips, tears shining in his eyes. "Once I looked up and saw an angel standing at the foot of the bed. He

 smiled at me and shook his head, then disappeared. When I opened my eyes, you were here with me. I knew I'd be all right."

 

 

 

 Adam closed his eyes, but not before a tear escaped. "Thank God ," he whispered.

 

  

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 In the days that followed, Anne gained back strength and energy quickly. Adam Charles filled his parents' hearts with tremendous joy, and he thrived in the secure,

 loving environment they provided for him. Adam found that leaving for work each day was more difficult than he'd imagined. It was hard to tear himself away, but

 he did, counting the hours at work until he was free to return home. "Pa had it made living on the Ponderosa ,' he thought to himself on more than one occasion.

 

 

 

 They had planned a trip to America around Easter, but the shipping company was overwhelmed with imports and exports, and the captain refused to give Adam

 vacation time.

 

 

 

 "Sorry, Mate ," he said unapologetically. "Postpone your trip until the summer. We've got work for months on end."

 

 

 

 Reluctantly, they planned their voyage for early fall and cabled Ben. Like them, he swallowed his disappointment, congratulating them on the arrival of Adam

 Charles, who he was anxious to meet. He also informed them that Joe and Alice were expecting a child.

 

 

 

 Anne was excited. "Isn't it wonderful, Adam? Our baby will have a little cousin about his age! Oh, I can hardly wait until we get there !"

 

 

 

 He smiled, trying to picture his little brother as a father and stroking the soft hair on the top of baby Adam's head as he slept peacefully in his father's arms.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Spring advanced into summer. Adam Charles now crept around on all fours, getting faster each day. He was a very healthy, happy baby, gurgling gleefully

 whenever he saw his father coming home from work. Adam fervently thanked God every day that he wasn't raising him by himself. The baby had outgrown his

 newborn outfits, keeping Anne busy making larger ones for winter.

 

 

 

 "At the rate he's growing, he'll be wearing your clothes before much longer," Anne commented dryly one evening.

 

 

 

 Adam laughed and watched their son crawl expertly after a ball. "Well, it would certainly save you alot of time ," he replied, reaching for his guitar.

 

 

 

 The evening was their favorite time of day. It was relaxing to Anne to hear Adam's music and watch Adam Charles play. The baby often tried to accompany his

 father, and many a song was never finished as their home rang with merry laughter. Jenny could hear them in her quarters, and smiled to herself. Having cooked for

 Adam in his bachelor days, she enjoyed seeing how his family had added greatly to his life.

 

 

 

 Anne looked around the room. "Things have really changed since the baby came, haven't they ?" she said softly.

 

 

 

 Adam glanced at her. "They sure have. Things down low just aren't safe anymore with him on the loose !"

 

 

 

 She smiled. "That's true, but it's not what I was referring to. He's made our lives more complete. More ," she hesitated, searching for the right word, "wonderful."

 she finished.

 

 

 

 He nodded, and set the guitar down. Slipping his arm around her, he drew her close., "You're right, Anne. I didn't think it was possible, but he certainly has."

 

 

 

 Adam Charles, oblivious to the conversation about him, looked up at his parents, the ball held firmly in his chubby little hands. He laughed delightedly, proving their

 point perfectly.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Jenny opened the door, and faced an average sized man wearing a tan cowboy hat and long brown coat. "Howdy," he said in a low voice. "I'm a--- friend of the

 Cartwright's. Is Anne here? I suppose Adam is still at work."

 

 

 

 "Yes, Missus Cartwright is here ," Jenny replied, allowing him to enter. She turned to lead him into the comfortable living room.

 

 

 

 Anne rocked Adam Charles as she read a children's book to him, oblivious to any other presence in the room. The man watched them in silence, then spoke,

 

 

 

 "So--- Cartwright got ya after all, did he ?"

 

 

 

 Anne dropped the book and looked up, stunned, holding the baby closer.

 

 

 

 It was Max Benson!

 

 

 

 TO BE CONTINUED

 

 

 

 Author's Note: While most of the characters and locations are derived from NBC's popular Western Bonanza (1959-1973) created by David Dortort, the story

 penned here is purely my own work. It has not been my intention to detract in any way from the original intent of the show's producers.

 

 

 

raanderson@rtol.net

 

 

 

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