To Have and To Hold

 

 

 

 Winter's chill had reluctantly loosened it's grip on the Nevada Territory, giving way to the balmy days of Spring. Many a rancher felt an added spring in his step as  he plowed a field or moved his cattle to greener pastures. Adam Cartwright was no exception, breathing in the fragrant pine scented air as he planted the early  crops. With Anne expecting their third child, he refused to allow her to do much outdoor labor, insisting she'd thank him later. She busied herself in sewing new  baby clothes, having lost Adam Charles's and Elizabeth Anne's little outfits in a fire the previous summer.

 

 

 

 Adam whistled cheerfully as he worked, instructing seven year old Adam Charles (whose name they had affectionately shortened to Charlie) in the art of planting  potatoes. He heard a rider approaching and lifted his head, removing his hat to wipe the perspiration from his brow.

 

 

 

 "Hi, Candy!" he greeted his friend and neighbor. "What brings you out our way this time of day?" Candy didn't make it out to the Ponderosa as much since his wife  Karyn had given birth to their first child---a son named Michael James.

 

 

 

 Candy's face was sober as he acknowledged the greeting. "Hello, Adam. I was just in Virginia City and there's a lot of outraged citizens, let me tell you. The  merchants are calling a town meeting to discuss matters. They asked me to tell you."

 

 

 

 Adam looked puzzled. "What has everyone so upset, Candy? I don't understand."

 

 

 

 "It's something about tariffs and shipping regulations holding up goods from heading on to the Territory. I don't know what all it includes, but since you have a  working knowledge of such things, Mayor Bradley wants your advice and assistance." Candy replied.

 

 

 

 Adam frowned thoughtfully, one hand on his chin. "Advice and assistance?" he repeated slowly. "That sounds like a little more than just attending a meeting." He  took a deep breath."When are they holding it?"

 

 

 

 "Tomorrow evening, 6 o'clock, at the school house," Candy informed him.

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "Thanks, Candy. You and Karyn gonna be there?"

 

 

 

 Candy shook his head. "No. Karyn won't want to get out with Michael, and I think I'll just hang around the house and spend time with my family. " He smiled. "You  need a babysitter?"

 

 

 

 Adam looked toward the house and nodded slowly. "I'd like to have Anne there with me, but the children would be too restless. If you don't mind, we can drop  them off around 5."

 

 

 

 "Sure," Candy agreed. "They're great with Michael, and Karyn and I both love having them over."

 

 

 

 "Thanks, Candy," Adam replaced his hat and picked up the hoe. "We'll see you tomorrow evening."

 

 

 

 Candy nodded. "See you then." He mounted his horse and galloped away.

 

 

 

 Charlie stood up and approached his father. "What's a tariff, Pa? Is it a lady sheriff?"

 

 

 

 Adam grinned in spite of himself, and shook his head. "No, Son, it's a tax. It means that when you buy something from another country, they add an extra charge to  it for their trouble of bringing it across the ocean. Only some countries charge more than is fair."

 

 

 

 The youngster nodded. "When I start school in the fall will I learn about that?" he asked.

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "Yes, that and alot more. You'll do well in school, Son. You like to learn new things, and there'll be so much to learn. "

 

 

 

 Charlie grinned up at his father as Anne stepped out on the porch and rang the dinner bell. He tried to match Adam's stride to the house, his long legs putting forth  good effort. Adam tousled his dark hair as they prepared to wash up for supper. The boy finished first and went to look up the word tariff in the dictionary.

 

 

 

 Anne stepped into the wash room and wrapped her arms around Adam. His eyes lit up and he hugged her gently.

 

 

 

 "There's a lot more of you to hug these days," he teased, smiling down at her.

 

 

 

 Anne sighed and smiled in return, squeezing his arms. "I know," she admitted. "I'll be glad when the baby is born. He or she will be much happier too, I'm sure."

 

 

 

 He laughed pleasantly. "We all will be," he agreed. "The children are so excited. Beth can't wait to be a big sister!"

 

 

 

 Anne nodded. "They're both such wonderful children. They take after their father."

 

 

 

 He took her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes. "And their mother," he added. "I love you, Anne. You're very precious to me."

 

 

 

 Her eyes glowed soft and gentle. "Oh, Adam, you're precious to me, too. I love you." He kissed her with a special tenderness that marked their relationship.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 After excusing Beth and Charlie from the table, Adam turned to Anne and told her about Candy's visit earlier. She looked impressed.

 

 

 

 "Adam, you'll know exactly what to do!" she exclaimed, squeezing his hand. "I'm so proud that they want you to help them."

 

 

 

 He looked at her dubiously. "I wish I shared your enthusiasm, Anne. I just don't know if I want the responsibility of the whole town on my shoulders."

 

 

 

 Anne smiled and held his hand to her lips. "With the Lord's help, you can do it," she reminded gently. "Wait until after the meeting to make up your mind, okay?"

 

 

 

 "I suppose I should," he agreed. Anne stood up slowly and began gently massaging his shoulders as he tried to put his concerns into words he could explain to her.   A slight smile crossed his face and he reached for her hand, pulling her into his lap.

 

 

 

 "Careful, Adam," she cautioned, her eyes dancing, "I might flatten you!"

 

 

 

 Adam held her close and kissed her affectionately. "I'll risk it, Darling," he whispered. "I'll tell you what troubles me. I've seen my father take on these types of  things where he had to travel to San Francisco and represent our needs before a board of trustees. Anne, he was gone for up to two weeks at a time. I can't leave  you now for that length of time---with the baby so close." He closed his eyes and sighed.

 

 

 

 Anne's heart went out to him. "Oh, Adam," she whispered. "If that's it, the children and I could impose on your father and Marilynne for a few days---for your  peace of mind."

 

 

 

 His arms tightened around her. "Thank you," he said, his voice husky with emotion. "After what happened to you last summer, I panic at the thought of you staying  here alone. Pa wouldn't count it an imposition either."

 

 

 

 Anne ran her fingers through his hair and gently lifted his chin. "Adam," she whispered, "Don't ever stop caring---It's what keeps me going when times are hard."   Her eyes reflected a love only he could understand as she drew his face close to hers and kissed him with a lingering sweetness that he would remember in the days  to come.

 

 

 

 "I want you to go to the meeting with me tomorrow night, Darling," he said, holding her close.

 

 

 

 Anne's face registered surprise. "Me? It will likely be just men there, Adam. Are you sure?"

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "Absolutely," he replied firmly. "Please?" His eyes pleaded with her, and Anne could not resist.

 

 

 

 She shook her head. "Only for you, Adam ~ only for you."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 The school house filled up quickly as the concerns of the community ran deep. To Anne's surprise, there were a few women present, most of them acquaintances  from church. She greeted them and took a seat near the front, next to Adam. Mayor Bradley called the meeting to order.

 

 

 

 "Good citizens, we're here because of a problem that affects us all. Now, according to the laws of our land, we have the right of representation in the due process  of government affairs." He surveyed the room, glancing briefly at Adam. "Most of you realize that the prices for everything in our stores from buttons to toothpicks  have suddenly gone way up ---not because we wanted to raise prices. Not at all. It's due to the tariffs being charged when these goods arrive at the docks. We're  here to find a solution to this problem. I'll open the floor for discussion."

 

 

 

 Everyone looked around, waiting for someone else to speak first. Adam took a deep breath, and Anne looking up at him, squeezed his hand confidently. Slowly,  he stood to his feet and walked to the front of the room.

 

 

 

 Briefly he detailed the situation they'd faced in the --------- Shipping Company back in England. "We dealt with the issue by sending a representative to the main  office for the sole purpose of finding the source of the higher tax. You see, there are two possible reasons. It could be that the problem lies in San Francisco. That  someone is padding his own pockets with the profits made without us even realizing it. Perhaps the whole shipping crew is involved. If so, then there should be a  paper trail to follow, because the shipping slips will record the accurate amounts, but the papers recorded at the docks will be fabricated. It's also possible that  there are new regulations in Washington---new treaties made with countries we import from--- that we've not yet been informed of." He paused, frowning. "The  only way to be sure, is to send someone to investigate and report back."

 

 

 

 Clem stepped forward. "Adam, who did your shipping company in England send to check things out?"

 

 

 

 Adam's brow lowered, and he looked sideways at Clem. "They sent me," he replied simply.

 

 

 

 "I nominate Adam Cartwright to represent Virginia City in San Francisco," Clem said, raising his voice.

 

 

 

 "I second the motion," Called out Doc Martin. A chorus of voices in agreement followed, and Mayor Bradley shook Adam's hand vigorously. He was surrounded  by towns people, all thanking him for his willingness to be their advocate. Anne smiled proudly at him as she turned to speak with Mrs. Martin. Reverend Gregory  gripped his shoulder.

 

 

 

 "I feel better already, Adam, knowing that you'll be representing us there in the city. You know what to look for, and they'll listen to you, I'm sure of it."

 

 

 

 Adam smiled graciously and thanked him politely, feeling anything but overjoyed himself. He turned as someone pulled insistently on his sleeve.

 

 

 

 "That was wonderful, you marvelous darling!" a heavily painted woman gushed loudly. "I was so impressed with your knowledge!! England---my, you've been  abroad, sweetie!" Several heads turned in their direction.

 

 

 

 Adam stepped back and giving her a brief nod, glanced around the room. "Excuse me," he said coldly, but she grabbed his arm.

 

 

 

 "Let's have a drink together," she invited, fluttering her lashes at him flirtatiously. Her perfume wafted alluringly as she moved closer. He pulled free, and lifted his  chin.

 

 

 

 "No thank you." He said firmly, starting to walk away. Anne bid the doctor's wife a good evening and turned toward Adam. He smiled as she approached, and his  unwelcome admirer noted it.

 

 

 

 "You poor darling," she murmured, inching beside him again, her hand on his arm. "You're tied down and can't have any fun. Why if you'd give me a chance----."

 

 

 

 Adam's eyes flashed. "Don't make me forget that you're a woman," he said in a low tone that boded no good. He strode away, meeting Anne and taking her arm  affectionately. "Are you ready, Darling?" he asked, smiling down at her.

 

 

 

 Anne nodded. "I'm ready," she replied, matching his smile. Feeling the woman's eyes on them, he threw caution to the wind, and pulling Anne into his arms, kissed  her. Anne's cheeks colored, but as he released her, he whispered, "I'll explain later."

 

 

 

 As they left the room, the bold young woman raised her chin, looking down at Anne through lowered eyelids, and Anne instinctively felt that somehow, she had  something to do with Adam's unusual welcome for her. Once outside, she looked up at him and asked,

 

 

 

 "Was that kiss for me---or for her?"

 

 

 

 Adam grinned at her. "That one was for her benefit. This one is for you." He swept her into his arms again and kissed her tenderly, leaving her breathless. She put  her hand to her lips, and shook her head.

 

 

 

 "Adam, what's gotten into you tonight? "

 

 

 

 He took her arm, escorting her to their buggy. "I'm sorry, Anne, but I wanted that woman to see that I love you very much. I didn't mean to embarrass you,  Darling."

 

 

 

 Anne smiled and put her hand on his. "I'm okay, Adam. You just took me completely by surprise."

 

 

 

 With a chuckle, he helped her up into the buggy. "Some people only believe what they see," he commented softly, squeezing her shoulder.

 

 

 

 Behind the school house door, an angry pair of narrowed eyes watched them leave. "I'll see you in San Francisco," she hissed through clenched teeth.

 

 

 

 Anne slipped her arm within Adam's as they traveled to Candy and Karyn's to collect their children. "You were so good tonight, Adam. I was very impressed with

 your skill and knowledge." She squeezed his arm gently. "So was everyone else."

 

 

 

 His eyes gleamed in the moonlight. "Thank you, Anne. I'm not sure I'm glad about having to go, but you were right, I do have a responsibility to help the town." He  sighed. "I leave in the morning. I'll miss you very much."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded slowly. "I'll miss you, too," she replied softly. "I'll be counting the days until you come home."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam arrived in San Francisco tired, but eager to complete his business and return to his family. His registration had been wired ahead, so after signing in at the  hotel desk, he took his key, and opened the door to his room. To his dismay, the door was already unlocked and a woman he recognized only too well sat on the  bed. His face took on a look of determination.

 

 

 

 "Get out," he ordered.

 

 

 

 "Aren't you the one with the lovely social graces, sweetie?" she purred, rising to her feet and gliding across the floor. Her low cut dress swirled seductively about  her as she approached him, her face upturned adoringly. "Come in---I believe this is your room."

 

 

 

 "Not any more." Adam spun on his heel and retraced his steps to the front desk. The clerk looked up. "Something wrong, Mr. Cartwright?"

 

 

 

 "Yes, I need another room," Adam replied firmly.

 

 

 

 The clerk frowned. "But, Mr. Cartwright, what would you want with two rooms?"

 

 

 

 Adam tossed the key onto the desk. "I don't." he stated evenly. "I need a room that only I have access to. Now, may I please have another room and key?"

 

 

 

 "But, Mr. Cartwright," the clerk protested, "You haven't told me why yet. It's our policy---."

 

 

 

 "There's a woman in my room." Adam interrupted.

 

 

 

 "A woman?" he asked in surprise. "And she didn't come with you?"

 

 

 

 Adam leaned on the desk, his temper rising. "Did you see a woman come in with me?" he asked in irritation. "I'm here on business---alone, and I'll keep it that way.   Another room---- or directions to another hotel."

 

 

 

 "Wha-whatever you say, ,Mr. Cartwright," the clerk stammered reaching for another key. He glanced at the register and named the number of a room at the end of  the hall.

 

 

 

 "Thank you," Adam said curtly, ascending the steps once more. As soon as he'd left the lobby, a woman crept out of the side room and leaned on the desk.

 

 

 

 "What an attitude, McNeil," she said, her eyebrows raised. "Boy, he's a tough one. I thought it was just his Virginia City influences."

 

 

 

 "Better leave him alone, Stacie," he cautioned. "He's not likely to warm up to you at all. Concentrate on Hamlin at the shipping company."

 

 

 

 She nodded, her mind already several miles east. A slow, wicked smile grew across her face. "I don't think Hamlin will need me, McNeil." She turned to leave the  room but faced him once more. "Don't be worried if I'm not here for a few days. I'll be back."

 

 

 

 He nodded. "But who do I get to take your place?" Her only answer was a low laugh and a wave of her hand as she disappeared around the corner.

 

 

 

 Meanwhile upstairs, Adam cautiously explored his room until he was satisfied that he was it's sole occupant. Sinking into a chair, he pulled his boots off, and  withdrew a pad of paper. His pen poised briefly.

 

 

 

 "My Darling Anne," (he wrote)

 

 "The trip here was similar to our honeymoon---stagecoach ride, hot and dusty trail, destination ~ San Francisco, everything as before---except for one thing. I miss  you, my Girl, and I'll try to get the work done earlier than planned. Believe me, the city hasn't changed much, and I don't care for the noise---." He paused and laid  the pen down. Should he tell Anne about the strange woman who'd followed him here? For a long moment he sat in silence.

 

 "There are alot of things I'll tell you about when I get home. Tomorrow I'll be meeting with the board. Pray for a miracle." He stopped again, realizing that she'd not  get the letter until after the meeting, then shrugged. "Give the children each a big hug and kiss from me. I'll give you mine personally when I get home. I love you,  my precious Anne. With all my love, Adam."

 

 

 

 He quickly addressed an envelope and stamped it. Taking his hat, he walked to the post office and mailed it, noting the office building across the street where his  business would take him on the morrow. He lifted a silent prayer for wisdom and the ability to reach a satisfactory solution as soon as possible.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Marilynne was only too happy to have Anne's company and she always enjoyed the children, welcoming them all with open arms. Their days together were filled  with special plans as they prepared for Adam's return. Anne had made arrangements with Karyn to go shopping in Virginia City mid-way through Adam's absence  and Candy drove her over that morning. Baby Michael would be staying with Marilynne while his father took the ladies to town.

 

 

 

 Karyn and Anne talked in the back seat of the buggy, catching up on interesting things their children had either said or done. Karyn's eyes sparkled whenever she  spoke of Michael James, and Candy often looked back to watch her. His heart swelled with tremendous love for the young woman who had won his heart and  allowed him to win her hand. Anne noticed, and her heart ached for Adam to whom she'd bid a tearful goodbye a couple of days before. He was probably even  now deep in a meeting with trustees of the board. She prayed for him to have good counsel and wisdom in confronting them with the problems that had reached  their little community.

 

 

 

 Candy dropped the ladies off at the mercantile and drove off to take care of his own business. Karyn watched him drive away.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Anne, isn't he wonderful?" she whispered.

 

 

 

 Anne nodded. "Yes, Karyn, he's perfect for you." A slight smile could not conceal her own loneliness, and she turned away quickly. "I'm going to shop for the  children's things first. Shall we meet at the cafe for lunch at noon?"

 

 

 

 "Let's do," Karyn replied, squeezing her friend's arm. "I'll see you later, Anne."

 

 

 

 The ladies parted ways, Anne entering the general store in search of supplies to replace the teaching materials she'd lost in the fire. With Adam Charles starting to  school in the fall, she wanted to be sure he was fully prepared Elizabeth Anne would enjoy learning along with him.

 

 

 

 She found heavy cardboard for the flashcards and colored pencils for making them attractive. A few books, pencils and paper, and Anne turned to personal things  for the children. She picked out new hair ribbons for Beth and a tie for Charlie like his father wore to church, along with other necessities.. A lovely volume of  Shakespeare's poems for Adam, and her shopping was complete.

 

  

 

 Anne chatted briefly with the shopkeeper's wife, mostly about the baby, then picking up her purchases left the store. She stepped down into the street, but was so  engrossed in watching two little children play with a baby rabbit they'd brought to town, that she did not notice the team of horses racing towards her at a frenzied  pace, until Karyn screamed,

 

 

 

 "ANNE!! Look out!"

 

 

 

 Anne looked up and panicked. A cowboy nearby grabbed her arm and threw her out of the way just as the team barrelled past. Anne fell face first with a sickening  thud to the hard ground, gasping as pain tore through her whole body. She took a deep shuddering breath and closed her eyes as everything turned black.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam's task in San Francisco worked out better than even he had dared hope for. Although Virginia City was not the only town affected, Adam was the only  representative for any city east of the Sierras. As he presented the problems in Virginia City, and began to ask pointed questions, he noticed Frank Hamlin, the  Vice Chairman squirming uncomfortably. As the meeting progressed and the exact date of the unfair tax hike was determined, George Thompson, the Chairman  turned to his clearly disgruntled assistant.

 

 

 

 "Hamlin, that's about the time we took you on. What's been happening?"

 

 

 

 After a reluctant confession of guilt and admission to where the money was stashed, Hamlin was unceremoniously fired and handed over to the proper authorities.   Mr. Thompson picked up his papers and glanced around the table, his gaze resting at last on Adam..

 

 

 

 "Mr. Cartwright, I don't know how to adequately apologize for this, nor how to make it right. We can't give each citizen a refund because we don't know how  much each was overtaxed based upon what they purchased."

 

 

 

 Adam leaned forward. "Mr. Thompson, I have an idea. You know from the records I've brought compared with the ones Hamlin filed, that approximately 15%  extra was added on. Why not give a 15% discount on the next shipment? I know the merchants of Virginia City will pass the savings on to their customers. Would  that be satisfactory to you?"

 

 

 

 Mr. Thompson looked relieved. "That we can do." He said, standing abruptly. "Mr. Cartwright, Hamlin's position is open--- if you want it."

 

 

 

 Adam smiled, but shook his head. "No thank you, Mr. Thompson. I have a wife and children back at the Ponderosa, and we're very comfortable there. I do thank  you for the offer. " He reached for his hat. "Virginia City will be grateful for your help, Sir. Thank you."

 

 

 

 He left the building and stopped at a variety store, purchasing a hardbound volume about inventors for Charlie and a book of paper dolls for Beth. Anne took a  little longer to shop for, but he finally settled on a fragrant perfume that he thought she'd like. Back at the hotel, he packed them securely and signed out at the desk.

 

 

 

 Two days before he'd planned on it, Adam boarded the stage coach, thinking how surprised but pleased Anne would be to see him home early. He closed his eyes  and rested his head against the back of the seat.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Candy stepped out of the post office, the letter from Adam in his hand and saw a large crowd gathering in front of the general store. A group of riders recklessly  galloped out of town, and Candy frowned. What had happened?

 

 

 

 Noticing Karyn, he strode over and pushed his way through. Someone had turned Anne on her back, where she lay white and still except for the rapid rise and fall  of her chest. Candy handed the mail to Karyn and stooping, gently lifted Anne in his arms.

 

 

 

 "Stand back, please," he ordered tersely. Karyn picked up Anne's packages and hurried with him to Doc Martin's office, knocking sharply on the door. He opened  it and quickly stepped back, allowing them to enter. Candy laid Anne down on the bed and moved back to stand beside Karyn, making room for the doctor.

 

 

 

 Doc Martin took his stethoscope and listened. "Anne's got a good, strong heartbeat," he told them. He moved the instrument to her abdomen and his face  blanched. Glancing up, he frowned, then listened again. "There's nothing," he whispered hoarsely. "I can't hear the baby's heartbeat at all."

 

 

 

 Karyn gasped and Candy took her in his arms. "Oh, Candy," she sobbed softly as he escorted her quietly from the room. Once the curtain was drawn, the doctor  gave Anne a thorough examination that only confirmed his fears---the child had been killed on sudden impact. He turned away to stifle a dry sob and began  preparations to take the baby before Anne regained consciousness.

 

 

 

 Candy wiped the tears from Karyn's cheeks and kissed her gently. "I'm so sorry, Honey," he whispered. "I know it brings back painful memories for you." She  nodded and leaned against him, blinking back tears. "I need to let Ben know. Do you want to stay here with Anne?"

 

 

 

 Karyn hesitated, then nodded. "I'd better, Candy. She might need me." He squeezed her shoulders and pulled her close again before leaving on the run for the

 livery.

 

 

 

 The curtain moved, and Doc stuck his head out. "Karyn, I'm glad you're still here. Will you get my wife, please? She's next door at her sister's."

 

 

 

 Karyn left to do his bidding and he turned back to Anne. The operation had been a fairly simple one, but the baby---almost full term---had a badly crushed skull.   Doc Martin let the tears fall as he carefully washed and wrapped the tiny body---another son who would've been welcomed with loving arms into the Cartwright  household. Mrs. Martin arrived as he finished and turned white when she heard the news.

 

 

 

 "Oh, the poor dear!" she exclaimed. "Has she awakened?"

 

 

 

 He shook his head. "No, but she will soon, I'm sure. I wanted you to be here when she does." She nodded and glanced at the bed. The minutes passed slowly as  they waited for her to regain consciousness.

 

 

 

 Anne's lashes fluttered slightly, and she moved her head from side to side, moaning softly. Mrs. Martin stepped nearer.

 

 

 

 "Anne, can you hear me?" she said in a low voice.

 

 

 

 Anne slowly opened her eyes and looked around, puzzled. "Yes," she answered faintly. "Where am I?"

 

 

 

 "You're in Doc Martin's office, Dear. There was an accident outside. Do you remember anything about it?"

 

 

 

 Anne closed her eyes, frowning. "I---remember horses---running towards me---and someone grabbed me. That's all."

 

 

 

 Doc Martin sat down on the other side of her bed. "How do you feel?" he asked.

 

 

 

 Anne drew a deep breath and winced. "Not very good," she whispered. "Ny stomach hurts alot." She put her hand on her abdomen, and her eyes grew wide.   "What happened---to the baby, Doc?"

 

 

 

 He turned away to hide his tears, and swallowed hard. "I'm afraid it was too much of a jolt for him, Anne. He---he didn't make it."

 

 

 

 Anne stared at him blankly and bit her lower lip. "It was a boy," she said softly, closing her eyes. She lay quietly as though asleep, and the doctor and his wife  walked to the other side of the room.

 

 

 

 "Why isn't she crying?" Mrs. Martin asked through her tears.

 

 

 

 Doc held her and let her cry. "She's in shock, Dear. It will eventually sink in, and she will. I hope Adam is here by then." He lifted his eyes upward and took a deep  breath.

 

 

 

 The evening shadows were lengthening when Ben rushed in. "Doc, Candy told me," he said hoarsely. "How is she?"

 

 

 

 Doc Martin put his hand on his shoulder. "Anne lost the baby, Ben. She knows, but she's in shock. Talk to her."

 

 

 

 Ben sat down and took Anne's hand in his. She opened her eyes. "Hello, Ben," she whispered. He leaned forward.

 

 

 

 "Hello, Anne. How---," he stopped, uncertain of what to ask her. Karyn stepped up behind him, handing him Adam's letter.

 

 

 

 "Candy picked this up---before the accident." she said softly.

 

 

 

 Ben held it up. "Anne, a letter from Adam came for you today. Shall I read it for you?"

 

 

 

 She nodded slowly, and he opened it and read aloud. A slight smile crossed her face. "He sounds good." she whispered.

 

 

 

 Ben nodded, his heart going out to her. He motioned Karyn over and approached the Doc. "Doc," he said in a low voice, "Where's the baby? I'd like to see him."

 

 

 

 Doc Martin took him into the back room where the small child lay on a table, covered with a white sheet. Ben choked back the tears and gently touched his face.   "I'll bury him soon," he whispered.

 

 

 

 Ben drew a deep breath, and stepped out the back door. After making arrangements with the mortician to purchase a little pine coffin, he walked down the street  to send Adam a telegram. The stage pulled up as he left the telegraph office, and Ben stopped in surprise---Adam was home.

 

 

 

 He walked quickly to meet his son. "Adam! You're home early." Adam collected his bags and turned with a smile.

 

 

 

 "Hi, Pa! It's good to see you!" His smile faded slowly. "What's wrong?"

 

 

 

 Ben swallowed hard. "Adam, come with me to the Doc's office." As they walked down the sidewalk, Ben quietly explained the accident. "Anne lost the baby,  Son."

 

 

 

 Adam's face registered immediate concern. "Is she okay?" He asked quickly. Ben nodded.

 

 

 

 "She seems okay. Doc said she's in shock right now. She hasn't shed a tear."

 

 

 

 Adam took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Setting his bags down, he drew the curtain aside and stepped into the room. Karyn looked up and stood to  her feet, giving him her chair. He sat down and took Anne's hand, pressing it gently and holding it to his lips.

 

 

 

 "Anne," he whispered. "I'm home, Darling."

 

 

 

 Anne opened her eyes, and Adam could see the pain reflected in them. It was like an arrow piercing his heart, and tears welled up in his eyes.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Adam, " she whispered low, "I'm so sorry---the baby---it was a boy." She closed her eyes and turned her face away.

 

 

 

 "I know, " he told her, his voice husky with emotion. "I'm sorry, too, Darling. How are you doing?"

 

 

 

 "I---think I'm okay," she replied softly. Her eyes opened again and she gently brushed a tear from his cheek. "I can't cry, Adam. I wish I could." A sigh escaped  her lips.

 

 

 

 Adam leaned forward and squeezed her shoulders. "You will, " he comforted. "It's been a terrible shock for you---for me, too, but especially for you. Give yourself  time, Darling." He stroked her cheek, and kissed her tenderly, leaving a tear behind.

 

 

 

 Karyn stepped back in for a minute when Candy was ready to leave, and handed Anne's purchases to Adam. "Anne bought these just before---before the  accident," she whispered. He smiled briefly and thanked her .

 

 

 

 The doctor felt Anne wasn't strong enough to leave his office, so Adam pulled an easy chair over and spent the night. Ben assured him that he'd gently break the  news to the children and keep them at his place as long as Adam felt was needful. Adam nodded numbly, and turned back to his wife.

 

 

 

 Anne rested fitfully, tossing from time to time and moaning softly. Adam scarcely slept, reading the 23rd Psalm to her near day break. Her restlessness quieted and  soon she was breathing rhythmically. But Adam sat beside her, wide awake, his heart heavy with grief and uncertainty.

 

 

 

 "Dear God," he prayed softly. "Please help Anne. Heal her heart and help us both to get through this---together." The sun was rising in the east when he finally  dropped off to sleep.

 

 

 

 The new day felt like a year to Adam. Anne was able to stand and take a few steps, but felt too weak and tired to walk alone. Doc Martin recommended that  Adam wait another day before taking her to the ranch, and he agreed. Mrs. Martin fixed breakfast and brought them a tray. Anne sat up slowly, and after a small  attempt at eating, laid her fork down.

 

 

 

 "I'm not hungry," she said listlessly.

 

 

 

 Adam watched her closely. "How do you feel, Darling?" he asked.

 

 

 

 She shook her head. "That's just it, Adam---I don't feel anything."

 

 

 

 He frowned slightly, leaning forward. "What do you mean?"

 

 

 

 Anne took a deep breath and expelled it slowly. "I feel nothing," she repeated. "It's like my heart is completely empty of any emotion. I can't cry, I don't want to  smile, I'm not hungry---." She turned towards him. "I don't even feel like I want to be with you, Adam----I'm so scared. What's wrong with me?" She laid her hand  on his arm and looked up at him, her expressive brown eyes filled with anguish. "Help me,,Adam."

 

 

 

 Adam's heart ached for her and laying his tray aside, pulled her gently into his strong arms. "Darling, give yourself time to heal. I love you, my precious Anne--- with  all of my heart." He closed his eyes, holding her tight.

 

 

 

 Taking the tray out of the room, he sat down beside Doc Martin and faced the older man.

 

 

 

 "Doc, tell me everything you know about shock and what it's symptoms are. I've got to know."

 

 

 

 The doctor reached for his reference book and began to explain. An hour later, Adam re-entered Anne's room and sat down beside her, a sadder and wiser man.   He was determined that Anne would not be emotionally damaged for weeks or months, certainly not years. He gripped his hands together, praying silently for the  key to unlock her heart. She needed to accept the truth, grieve over it, and go on with life. But how---and when?

 

 

 

 Adam took her hands in his and held them gently. She was asleep and he didn't want wake her up. "Lord, You can help her while she sleeps. Please show me what  to do." A tear rolled down his cheek as he laid his head back. With a sigh, he fell asleep, dreaming of Anne as she'd been before the accident.

 

 

 

 Sometime later, he was awakened by someone shaking his shoulder. He looked up into Clem's sober face. "Adam," he whispered. "Some of the men brought in the  person responsible for what happened yesterday."

 

 

 

 Adam straightened immediately. "Who is it, Clem?" he asked quickly.

 

 

 

 Clem frowned. "Well, I'm not sure who she is, but I can sure tell you what she is."

 

 

 

 "She?" Adam questioned in surprise, leaning forward with a glance at Anne.

 

 

 

 Clem nodded. "Yeah, she looks like the dance hall girl that was at the meeting the other evening. I've got her locked up in the jail now. Do you want to come over  and fill out papers to press charges?"

 

 

 

 Adam stood to his feet. "Yes, I do. Let's go."

 

 

 

 Once inside the jail, Adam faced the woman sternly, questions flooding his mind. She rose to her feet and looked at him apprehensively.

 

 

 

 "You! Why did you do it?" he asked evenly, his eyes demanding the truth. "Why did you try to kill my wife?"

 

 

 

 "What?" She turned on the charm that had worked with so many, walking slowly to the bars. "Oh, come, sweetie, aren't you making too much of this little  accident? It's not that big a deal is it? She didn't die, did she?" she raised her eyebrows in mock innocence.

 

 

 

 Adam turned abruptly and left the room, closing the door firmly behind him. He leaned against it, breathing hard. "Clem, where's the papers? " He filled them out  quickly and sat back, one hand poised on his chin, his eyes closed wearily.

 

 

 

 "Are you okay, Adam?" Clem asked. Adam shook his head.

 

 

 

 "I don't know, Clem. I'd better get back to Anne." Clem lifted his hand in farewell, a look of concern on his rugged face, and Adam stepped out into the street. He  walked first to the scene of the accident and looked around, a numbness creeping over him as he imagined the terribly frightening experience it had been for Anne.

 

 

 

 Adam strode to the doctor's house and opened the door, taking his place beside Anne once more. She was awake, and turned troubled eyes in his direction.

 

 

 

 "Adam," she whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you earlier. I do love you very much. I'm so terribly sorry, Darling."

 

 

 

 He smiled through the tears that sprang to his eyes and pulled her gently into his arms. For the next few minutes, he just held her, neither one saying anything. Adam  again whispered a silent prayer for a rapid recovery. Anne laid her head against his shoulder, and sighed sorrowfully.

 

 

 

 When the doctor returned from other calls, he had Anne practice walking alone. She was some stronger having forced herself to eat a little and managed quite well,  leading him to announce that she was well enough to return home the next day. With a quiet nod, she sat down beside Adam and bit her lower lip. Home. Maybe  once she was at home, things would be more normal.

 

 

 

 There was a knock at the door, and Ben stepped in. He smiled at Anne. "Hello, Anne," he spoke kindly.

 

 

 

 "Hello, Ben," she replied softly.

 

 

 

 "Charlie and Beth are so anxious to see you," he said with a glance at Adam. "They ask about you all the time."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded looking down, and Adam stood to his feet. "Can I talk to you a minute, Pa?"

 

 

 

 Outside the room, he explained Anne's lack of concern about anything. "Doc says it's a symptom of shock. I don't think the children would be able to understand.   Could you keep them for another couple of days? I'm hoping that being back at home will be good for Anne, and we can all be together again."

 

 

 

 Ben nodded. "Sure, Adam. We'll do all we can to help you both." He rubbed the back of his neck, and sighed. "Did you see the baby?"

 

 

 

 Adam shook his head. "No, I didn't. Where is he?"

 

 

 

 Ben took him over to the mortician's where the little one was ready for his burial. "Did Anne see him?" Adam asked, brushing a sudden tear from his eyes.

 

 

 

 Ben also wiped a tear away. "I don't think Doc would let her. He didn't think she could handle it."

 

 

 

 Adam looked troubled. "She needs to have some closure to it. Something that will mark the end of this chapter in our lives so she can move on."

 

 

 

 Ben nodded. "Do you want to bring her over?" he asked. Adam hesitated, noting the discoloration and disfiguration of the tiny forehead despite the mortician's best  efforts.

 

 

 

 "I dunno, Pa. Maybe Doc's right. He's worked with people in shock before; I haven't." He closed the lid and turned to face his father. "What were you planning to  do?"

 

 

 

 "Before I knew you were coming home so soon, I planned to bury him on the grassy knoll just below your house---the one where the wildflowers were so beautiful  last summer." Ben replied with a catch in his voice.

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "Thanks, Pa. I'd better stay with Anne. Maybe I can take her out there soon." He wiped a tear away and left the building. Anne sat in a chair by the  window, looking outside but not really seeing anything. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to her, fear gripping his heart that she would be like this for the rest  of her life. He refused to accept it, and forced himself to speak cheerfully about his trip to the city.

 

 

 

 "I missed you very much, my precious Anne ," he whispered looking into her eyes. A glimmer of a smile flickered across her face.

 

 

 

 "I missed you, too, Adam," she whispered in reply. He drew her close and kissed her tenderly, willing her to express her love him in return as she had before. "She  will---in time," he told himself.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Mayor Bradley met Adam as he and Anne prepared to leave Virginia City for their ranch. He expressed his sorrow for their loss, before congratulating Adam on a  successful conclusion to his mission in San Francisco.

 

 

 

 "I received a wire from Mr. Thompson, Adam, and he told me what you suggested. I knew we'd sent the right man from the start! Thanks again, Adam."

 

 

 

 Adam's smile was forced. "That's okay, Mayor---I'm glad things will be straightened out." He glanced at Anne and reached for her hand. "We'll see you later." The  mayor nodded and stepped back as the horses started moving. Deep in his heart, Adam wished he'd never gone to the meeting or San Francisco, either one. It was  with great effort that he suppressed the bitterness that struggled within his breast. There was no use to dwell on the if only's and what might have been's. Thinking  like that would only confuse the present---not change the past. He took a deep breath and squeezed his wife's hand gently.

 

 

 

 "We'll be home soon, Darling," he said with a smile.

 

 

 

 Anne nodded and turned to face him. "Oh, Adam," she whispered, "I hope it helps me get over this---this terrible nothingness."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Two days had passed since they'd returned home and Adam sighed as he reflected on them. Anne did her work as before, but without enthusiasm and spent most  of each day in the rocking chair, sewing on the baby clothes. He puzzled over it. If she knew the baby was gone, why bother to complete the outfits he'd never  wear? He swallowed his own grief to try to understand her. He missed Charlie and Beth deeply, yet dreaded to have them see their mother like this. Adam Charles  might understand, but he knew Elizabeth would not. Of an evening, he'd take his guitar and sing for her. Anne longed to join in and make him happy again---and  she tried hard, but something seemed to block her from letting Adam know she was trying. She begged God to help her. To do something that would bring her  back to life inside. The Bible was her constant companion, often reading several Psalms at a time.

 

 

 

 After caring for the stock, Adam leaned against a sturdy fence post, the strain of it all weighing heavily on his heart, and looked up at the stars. "Dear God, help  me!" he prayed in desperation. "I can't take much more of this--- it's hard on Anne---and our children. Please---."

 

 

 

 Anne was already asleep when he retired for the night, but around midnight he was awakened suddenly. He watched her silently crawl out of bed, take her pillow,  and open the door. Adam lay still for only a moment before following her out into the living room. She sank down on the couch and looked up at him.

 

 

 

 "I didn't mean to wake you up," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

 

 

 

 Adam shook his head. "Oh, Anne, please don't do this to me---to us." He sat down and pulled her into his arms. "You've told me that you always feel at home in  my arms. Maybe you don't need me anymore, but I need you very much. Please, Darling---just let me hold you close." The tears flowed unchecked down his  cheeks and he didn't try to stop them. Keeping them back only increased the ache in his heart.

 

 

 

 Anne relaxed in his arms, wishing the tears locked within her heart would somehow be released. She longed to feel again. The numbness around her heart was  more terrible than anything she'd ever experienced, and threatened to crush the life out of her. Though some of her thoughts were jumbled and hazy, she knew the  numbness was connected to the loss of their infant son. She forced herself to relive all she could remember minutes before the accident and afterwards. Doc's  words about the baby not making it were like a broken record in her mind.

 

 

 

 "I never even got to see him," she whispered. Adam released her slightly.

 

 

 

 "What did you say, Darling?" he asked hoarsely.

 

 

 

 "The baby---I wanted to see him, but I can't remember if I asked Doc to let me," Anne shook her head. "I wanted to hold him---to tell him that I loved him, even if  he couldn't hear me." Her slender frame trembled with emotion and a tear trickled down her cheek. "Oh, Adam---I miss him so much!" She clung to him, sobbing  uncontrollably and Adam breathed a prayer of thanksgiving, holding her close.

 

 

 

 When her sobs subsided, Anne slumped exhausted in his arms. She brushed the tears from her eyes. "I'm okay now," she whispered, closing her eyes. He watched  her for a moment, relieved that the healing process in her heart was well underway. She opened her eyes, drenched with tears, and smiled up at him.

 

 

 

 "Thank you for loving me through it all, Adam Darling," she whispered. "I love you."

 

 

 

 His heartbeat quickened. "I love you, my precious Anne," he replied with feeling. "You're the dearest woman in all the world to me---nothing will ever change that."   He drew her close in a tender embrace.

 

 

 

 Anne nestled in his arms and fell asleep next to his heart.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam carefully picked Anne up and carried her to bed. It was already morning, but he knew she'd rest better there than on the couch while he fixed breakfast. She  smiled in her sleep and sighed contentedly. Love so strong it hurt surged through his heart, and he swallowed hard. "Thank you, Lord, for giving her back to me,"  he whispered making his way to the kitchen.

 

 

 

 With a tray of hot coffee and what he hoped resembled scrambled eggs and pancakes, Adam re-entered their room and set it down on a small table. He raised the  window shade and let the warm sunshine spill into the room. Anne stirred drowsily and opened her eyes.

 

 

 

 "Ummm, something smells good," she said stretching and sitting up. "Breakfast in bed? Oh, you're so sweet, Adam! You're going to spoil me!"

 

 

 

 He sat down beside her and drew her into a tender embrace. "I hope so," he said softly against her cheek. Releasing her, he reached for the tray. "I just hope I  don't kill us both with my cooking!"

 

 

 

 Anne laughed merrily, a sound that was music to his ears. "It looks wonderful!" she insisted, and proclaimed that it tasted good too, though after one bite, Adam  had his doubts.

 

 

 

 He squeezed her hand. "You're a much better cook than I," he admitted. "Perhaps I made breakfast to let you know how much I really do need you," he smiled at  her.

 

 

 

 Her smile warmed his heart. "You're a dear," she replied, then sobered. Taking a sip of coffee, she looked at him thoughtfully. "Adam, will you take me to the  baby's grave this morning?"

 

 

 

 Their eyes met, and Adam nodded. "Thank you," she whispered.

 

 

 

 He took a small parcel from his pocket and handed it to her. "I bought this for you in San Francisco," he said with a warm smile. Anne's eyes lit up and she opened  it eagerly, withdrawing the small bottle of softly fragrant perfume.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Adam, it's such a lovely gift---thank you!" she exclaimed, applying a little to each wrist. He squeezed her hand gently, smiling in return.

 

 

 

 "I had a gift for you---we were planning a special welcome home party for you." she shook her head. "That was before----. I don't know what happened to the  things I bought."

 

 

 

 Adam raised his eyebrows, remembering the package Karyn had handed him. He moved to the closet and found it, handing the package to her. "Is this it?" he  asked.

 

 

 

 She nodded. "How---?"

 

 

 

 "Karyn gave it to me at Doc's," he replied.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled and removed her gift for him. He opened it and a pleased expression crossed his handsome face. "Thank you, Anne! I didn't have this volume yet."

 

 

 

 "I know," she whispered as he drew her close.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Anne Darling---it's so good to have you back!" he said gently.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 At the small grave, the tears streamed down Anne's cheeks. Her heart broke for the tiny infant she'd given life to and longed to give love to as well. Adam wrapped  his arms around her, his tears mingling with hers.

 

 

 

 "I loved him so much, Adam," she whispered. He nodded.

 

 

 

 "So did I, Anne." he replied huskily.

 

 

 

 "I had a name picked out for him," she added through her tears. Adam lifted her chin gently.

 

 

 

 "What was it?" he asked.

 

 

 

 "Benjamin Eric," she answered, choking back a sob.

 

 

 

 Adam's throat tightened. "Pa will be so pleased," he whispered, stroking her hair. He held her in silence, allowing her the solace of grief. Her tears soaked his shirt,  and he was too relieved to notice. Anne was herself again---he breathed another silent prayer.

 

 

 

 "I'd like to have a little memorial service for him," she said softly, her voice muffled and choked. "Maybe next Sunday, after church."

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "I'll make arrangements with Rev. Gregory," he promised. A few minutes passed, and Anne dried her tears on his handkerchief.

 

 

 

 "I'm ready to go pick up the children," she spoke quietly, and Adam took her hand.

 

 

 

 "Let's go, Darling," he said gently. He helped her into the buggy and turned to face her. "I love you, Anne, " he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

 

 

 

 Anne eyes lit up despite the tears. She put her hands on his shirt collar, leaning close. "I love you so much, Adam," she replied very softly. With a tender lingering  kiss, he drew her into his arms.

 

 

 

 " 'To have and to hold from this time forth---,' " he quoted softly from their wedding vows. He straightened to look her in the eye. "Those words have never meant  more to me than they do now," he whispered, pulling her close again."For a while there, it seemed that even though I could hold you, I was losing the wonderful girl  I had known. You don't know what it means to me to have you back, Anne."

 

 

 

 Anne's pulse quickened. She squeezed his arms and smiled into his eyes. " 'For better, for worse ~ for richer, for poorer ~ in sickness and in health---'. You've had  the worse with me lately and yet you loved me still." A tear spilled down her cheek and Adam gently removed it. "Just Thank you isn't good enough."

 

 

 

 He lifted her chin and looked directly into her eyes. "It's good enough for me, Anne---coming from you." With another tender kiss, he picked up the reins.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled, taking his hand. "Thank you for giving me so much of your time this morning,, Adam. God used you to answer my prayer for help."

 

 

 

 "It was my pleasure, Honey. " He squeezed her hand gently, and flipped the reins. Despite the pain of losing the baby, his heart felt light and whole again

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 The memorial service was well attended by the Cartwright family and many friends who grieved with them. Anne had written a poem for little Benjamin Eric, but  was too emotionally overcome to read it herself. She handed it to Rev. Gregory, who promised to read it for her at the end of the service. Candy played a few  hymns softly on his guitar and a small group from church sang along.

 

 

 

 Rev. Gregory opened his Bible and read from Psalm 23 and John 14, sharing timeless words of comfort. Anne sobbed quietly off to the side, and Adam wiped  away his own tears as he held her close. Adam Charles and Elizabeth sat on a bench next to them with Ben, Marilynne, Joe and Annabelle.

 

 

 

 As the service grew to the close, the minister took Anne's poem out of his pocket and in a quiet, husky voice read it aloud ~

 

 

 

 Although I never saw you

 

 I'd grown to know you well---

 

 The joy your presence gave me

 

 No words can ever tell.

 

 

 

 I loved you deeply, little one,

 

 And miss you, oh, so much ~

 

 I'll never hear your whimper

 

 Or feel your gentle touch.

 

 

 

 Now I must say, "Goodbye", ny child ~

 

 It's difficult to part;

 

 Just know that you will always be

 

 Alive within my heart.

 

 

 

  Adan's arms tightened around Anne. He knew what an effort it had taken for her to express the deep sorrow in her heart which mirrored his own perfectly. She  drew a deep, trembling breath and managed a little smile. Ben and Marilynne walked over to hug them both, and soon everyone else fell into line to convey their  sympathy and heartfelt condolences. At last, it was only the four of them, a family bonded together in love and sorrow.

 

 

 

 Beth laid a little flower on the grave and looked up at her mother. "I'm sorry, Ma," she whispered. "I wanted to be his big sister."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, squeezing her daughter's hand. "I know, Honey," she whispered.

 

 

 

 The remainder of the day was a quiet one. The children played quietly or read, and Anne found it hard to keep the tears back as she tried to quilt. Saying  "Goodbye" had been difficult, but somehow, it made the baby's absence seem more real. She lifted Adam's drenched handkerchief to her eyes and smiled  tremblingly across the room at him. He picked up his guitar and came to sit beside her.

 

 

 

 "Anne," he said gently, reaching for her hand, "Whenever you're thinking about the baby and having a tough time with his death, come to me. You don't have to say  anything---just come, and I'll know. We'll make it through together---you and I."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, more tears gathering in her eyes with his gentleness. "I will," she whispered brokenly. "If you'll do the same for me." She sniffed and controlled her  emotions with difficulty. "Thank you, Darling, for your sensitivity. You don't know what it means to me."

 

 

 

 He smiled tenderly and kissed her fingers. "I love you, Anne" he said warmly, and strummed the notes of a hymn he knew she loved. Anne rested her head on the  back of the couch and closed her eyes, listening contentedly. You've been good to me, Lord, she whispered in her heart, Thank you for Adam. I love him so.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Ben had been very pleased, though sorrowfully so, to learn of his grandson's name, and requested the privilege of providing a small marker for his grave. It simply  read ~

 

 

 

 Benjamin Eric Cartwright

 

 Beloved son, brother, grandson

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 As time passed and the days added up, the sorrow did begin to diminish. Anne was able to work on the baby clothes again, wiping tears away to be sure, but with  the future in mind and not the past. She began to concentrate on preparing Charlie for his first year of school, making the teaching materials to drill him. He took  great pleasure in helping her with making flashcards and so forth for Beth, who desperately wanted to go to school with her Charlie. Having a goal in mind helped  her to focus on the present needs, though she often found her way out to the corral or barn where Adam was working close by. With tears illuminating her eyes and  a sob in her throat, he would instantly drop what he was doing and take her in his arms, comforting her and sharing the sorrow.

 

 

 

 A full month had gone by since the baby's death when Reverend Gregory rode out to speak with Adam. He dismounted and admired the new stock before getting  down to his purpose in stopping by.

 

 

 

 "Adam," he began slowly. "Did you know the Davis's ---young homesteaders from Ohio?"

 

 

 

 Adam frowned and shook his head. "No, Reverend, I don't remember meeting them."

 

 

 

 The minister nodded. "They were just passing through the area, but their wagon broke down near my place last week, and I've been helping them all I can. All I  could, that is." He paused, looking down briefly. "They were such a lovely family---Stephen and his young wife Ella. She'd had their first child just two weeks ago."

 

 

 

 Adam listened quietly, knowing the minister had a reason for telling him this. Rev, Gregory took a deep breath and faced him. "Adam, they were both killed during  a robbery at their home last night."

 

 

 

 Adam leaned forward. "No!" he exclaimed in horror. "Oh, Reverend, I'm so sorry. What can I do to help?"

 

 

 

 Rev. Gregory looked away, the sorrow evident in his face. "They didn't have any family. Ella was an orphan and Stephen had lost his family in an Indian raid several  years ago. I need to find a home---" he hesitated. "A home for their little son, Adam. I'd take him myself, but without a wife I couldn't care for both him and the  church properly. Do you think Anne---?"

 

 

 

 Adam hesitated, not knowing if Anne was quite ready yet. "I don't know---" he said slowly.

 

 

 

 "Oh, please, Adam, could we? " Both men turned and saw Anne standing in the doorway. Her eyes were filled with tears and she looked pleadingly at Adam. With  a couple of steps he was by her side and slipped his arm around her slender waist.

 

 

 

 "Do you want to think about it first?" he asked softly, but Anne shook her head, a tear spilling down her cheeks.

 

 

 

 "No," she replied, "He needs us---and I---we need him. Please, Adam."

 

 

 

 Adam turned to Rev. Gregory. "When can we see him, Reverend?"

 

 

 

 The minister smiled briefly, brushing a tear from his eye. "I could bring him over this evening. I left him in town with Doc Martin." He shook his head. "It's a miracle  that the baby wasn't hurt. He was right there in the front room with his parents, but they didn't hurt him at all."

 

 

 

 "How did you learn about it?" Adam asked.

 

 

 

 Rev. Gregory took a deep breath. "They had invited me to come over for supper and a Bible study with them. I got there just after it happened. Clem and his men  formed a posse last night, but they weren't back yet when I came over here." He glanced at Anne. "I was sure hoping you folks would be able to take the baby."

 

 

 

 Anne's trembling smile was radiant. "What is his name, Reverend?"

 

 

 

 "Andrew," he replied. "Andrew Taylor."

 

 

 

 Rev. Gregory promised to stop by again later, leaving Adam and Anne alone to discuss the unexpected situation facing them.

 

 

 

 Adam pulled a chair over for Anne and sat beside her on an overturned bucket. He slipped his arm around her and hugged her close, smiling up at her. "It's a good  thing you finished the baby clothes after all," he remarked softly.

 

 

 

 Anne nodded. "I can't wait to hold him," she whispered. "My arms have ached so much since our little Benjamin died---Oh, Adam, it's been so hard!" She turned  and buried her face on his chest, sobbing.

 

 

 

 "Shhh, Darling, It's okay," he soothed tenderly, pulling her close. "It's alright." She gulped back another sob and drew a deep shuddering breath.

 

 

 

 "We'd better talk to Charlie and Beth about little Andrew," Adam said as she quieted. Anne nodded, squeezing him tight. Together they walked to the house and  found Charlie teaching Beth how to play checkers. They were laughing merrily as Beth attempted to follow her brother's instructions. Adam squeezed Anne's hand  feeling so blest with two contented children, who he felt sure, would willingly welcome an addition.

 

 

 

 Adam pulled a chair out for Anne beside Beth and took one for himself next to Charlie. Both children looked up, questions in their expressive brown eyes, and  Adam and Anne smiled reassuringly at them. Adam complimented Charlie on teaching his sister the game, and then informed them that he and their mother had  something very important to talk to them about. Two pair of eyes focused intently on Adam's face.

 

 

 

 "Reverend Gregory rode out a little while ago with some very sad news. A family he knew was killed last night. They had a two week old baby, and he hoped we

 could make room for him here. There's no where else for the baby to go. Would it be okay with you two if we---"

 

 

 

 "Of course it would, Pa," Charlie interrupted eagerly, his eyes shining. Adam smiled.

 

 

 

 "What about you, Beth?"

 

 

 

 Elizabeth leaned her head against her mother and looked up at her. "If that's what Ma wants, then I want him to come." Tears came to Anne's eyes, and she hugged  her little daughter close.

 

 

 

 "Your mother and I have talked it over," Adam continued. "We both want him to come very much. His name is Andrew Taylor, and we'll do all we can to make  him a Cartwright soon."

 

 

 

 The children exchanged pleased smiles, too excited to return to their game once Adam and Anne left the table. It would be wonderful to have a baby brother after  all.

 

 

 

 "We can call him Andy," Beth whispered. Charlie nodded.

 

 

 

 "Andrew Taylor Cartwright," he said softly. "I think that sounds good---like he belongs."

 

 

 

 Beth nodded. "We'll make him feel like he does."

 

 

 

 Anne glanced at Adam and blinked back happy tears. "Aren't they wonderful, Adam?" she whispered. He drew her to him and kissed her gently.

 

 

 

 "Yes, Anne Darling, they're wonderful children. I know they'll accept little Andy and make him feel at home."

 

 

 

 Later that evening, they welcomed Reverend Gregory and his guest, baby Andrew. Charlie and Beth were captivated by the little one, hovering nearby to catch a  glimpse of his eyes and a possible smile. The minister handed the baby to Anne, saying softly,

 

 

 

 "Why don't you hold him, Anne? Adam and I can go over the papers I picked up from the Judge earlier today."

 

 

 

 Choking back a sob, Anne reached for the infant and held him close. His eyes opened slowly, feeling the difference in the arms holding him. He looked at her  wonderingly, as if to figure out who she was and if her face looked familiar. Anne smiled down at him, and the corners of his mouth turned up in a tiny smile, before  he whimpered softly. She looked up at Charlie and Beth whose faces expressed genuine happiness, and gave them a loving smile.

 

 

 

 "Are you hungry, Andy?" she whispered. "I'll fix you a bottle, Little One." She rose to her feet and advanced toward the kitchen, cradling him in her arms.

 

 

 

 Reverend Gregory and Adam watched her go and exchanged nods. "This is just what Anne needed," Adam whispered, and the minister agreed.

 

 

 

 Anne returned with a bottle of warm milk and settled down on the couch with Charlie and Beth on either side. Beth had never been so close to a baby that tiny, and  she was intrigued with him. Charlie of course remembered his little sister as an infant, but was impressed nonetheless.

 

 

 

 "You've got quite a family, Adam," Reverend Gregory said with a catch in his voice. Adam smiled.

 

 

 

 "Thank you, Reverend. Everyday I realize just how blest I really am." He offered him a cup of coffee and they went back to filling out the papers for adopting  Andrew Taylor into the Cartwright household.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Karyn opened the front door as Candy strode up the walk, a smile on his handsome face.

 

 

 

 "Hi, Candy!" she greeted him, lifting her face for his kiss. He pulled her close.

 

 

 

 "Karyn Darling---I just heard from Ben that Adam and Anne are adopting a baby! Did you know they were planning to?"

 

 

 

 She shook her head. "No, but my father mentioned something when he and Mother stopped by this morning about a young couple being in some sort of  accident---they didn't explain any details. Father said they had a tiny baby, and that Reverend Gregory had taken him to Adam and Anne's. That must be the one  they're adopting!" She paused and smiled up at him. "I'm so glad for them, Candy. I know Anne has hurt so much over their baby's death."

 

 

 

 He nodded and went to scoop up Michael from his crib. The baby cooed happily and clapped his chubby little hands. Candy and Karyn exchanged smiles, and  Karyn slipped her arm around Candy's waist, hugging him.

 

 

 

 "Isn't he precious?" she whispered.

 

 

 

 His eyes darkened. "He sure is, Honey," He stooped to kiss her gently. "He takes after his mother."

 

 

 

 Karyn's smile was infectious. "You're sweet, Candy," she replied squeezing his arm lovingly. She moved to the dresser and pulled a drawer open, removing a  never-worn little hooded robe with matching blanket. She held it up and turned to face Candy.

 

 

 

 "Candy," she began softly. "We didn't need these for Michael---why don't we give them to Adam and Anne's new baby? I'm sure they won't have everything they  need yet."

 

 

 

 He nodded. "It's a wonderful idea, Karyn. I know they'll appreciate it."

 

 

 

 Humming softly, Karyn found a piece of decorative paper and cut it to size, deftly wrapping the small articles. A smile crossed her face, as she attached a bright  bow, anxious to present the gift and meet the new little Cartwright.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Andrew Taylor became a Cartwright one week after meeting his new family. His presence added so much to the household---especially for Anne. She loved him  dearly, and Adam noticed that the sparkle in her smile and twinkle in her eyes had returned. Little Andy had been the added healing touch necessary for all of them  to completely mend. Beth relished her role as big sister and helped Anne dress and feed him with all the care and love she could muster. Charlie spent most of his  days helping his father outside, but looked forward to the moments he could spend with his little brother.

 

 

 

 Summer advanced, and Andy grew too large for the newborn outfits. Anne pulled out the ones she'd made and wiped a tear away as she dressed him. Thoughts of  the wee one they'd lost were never far from her mind, but the deep pain had subsided. She hummed a lullaby, rocking the infant to sleep. His soft brown eyes  closed drowsily and his tiny mouth opened wide in a yawn, before a little sigh indicated that he had at last succumbed to sleep.

 

 Anne smiled and hugged him gently, love filling her heart to overflowing.

 

 

 

 "Dear Lord, thank you for Andy," she whispered. "We needed him so much."

 

 

 

 A shadow fell across her and lifting her head, she met Adam's gaze, his eyes dark with tenderness and love. He smiled and knelt beside the chair, stroking a tiny fist  lightly. He glanced up at Anne.

 

 

 

 "He's really growing, isn't he?" he asked in awe.

 

 

 

 She nodded. "Yes, he's growing as fast as Charlie did. I just love to watch them." A smile lit up her eyes. "Each one is a perfect little masterpiece of his Creator.   And just think, Adam---" she paused, leaning forward slightly. "We've been entrusted to care for them."

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "It's a responsibility that I treasure, Anne." He turned to face her and lifted her chin gently with his strong fingers. Looking deep into her eyes, he  said softly, "Sharing that privilege with you, Darling, is what I like the most." He drew her to him as their lips met in a tender kiss. "I love you, Anne," he whispered,  his face very close to hers. "You've never looked more beautiful to me than you do now."

 

 

 

 Anne felt a warm glow around her heart. "You're a wonderful sweetheart, Adam," she whispered in reply. "I love you so much." She closed her eyes, returning his  gentle, lingering kiss with deep affection.

 

 

 

 Adam quietly moved another chair over and for a time they sat together, talking in low tones about Charlie starting school, Beth's mothering instincts, and little  Andys' timely arrival. Both knew the coming days and months would bring many changes, but they were prepared to face those changes. Together, with faith in  God---that was how they'd succeeded thus far in their years of marriage.

 

 

 

 There was a sharp knock at the door, and Adam rose to answer it. A well-dressed middle aged stranger stood on the door step. He eyed Adam apprehensively.

 

 

 

 "Good morning," Adam addressed him genially. "What can we do for you?"

 

 

 

 "Howdy," he replied. "My name is Davis---Grant Davis. Reverend Gregory in Virginia City gave me directions to your place."

 

 

 

 As he spoke his name, Anne instinctively held Andy closer, her heart filling with fear and dread. Why was this stranger who shared the same name as Andy's family  here? There was only one answer. She closed her eyes, silently begging him to go away.

 

 

 

 Adam found his voice. "I'm Adam Cartwright---please, come in. " He ushered him into the living room. "My wife---Anne, and our son Andrew."

 

 

 

 "Yes," Mr. Davis said moving closer, a gleam coming into his eye. "Andrew. Reverend Gregory said I'd find him here."

 

 

 

 Adam and Anne exchanged glances. "Are you a relative of the family?" Adam asked almost brusquely.

 

 

 

 The man looked up. "Uh, yes. I'm his mother Ella's uncle."

 

 

 

 Anne frowned in surprise. "Reverend Gregory said Ella was an orphan," she said, puzzled. "Was she not?"

 

 

 

 Mr. Davis shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Well, yes, she was." he admitted. "When Ella's mother got married, the family disowned her for---personal reasons. The  couple were killed in a flash flood, and the child placed in an orphanage."

 

 

 

 Adam stepped towards him. "Do you mean to tell me that you allowed your own niece to grow up in an orphanage instead of taking her in and giving her a home?   What kind of man are you?'

 

 

 

 "Now wait a minute!" The man protested. "I don't have a family---how could I be expected to care for a little girl that I didn't even know?"

 

 

 

 "I can't answer that for you," Adam replied firmly. "But that doesn't explain why you've come now for Ella's baby. Are you any more prepared to care for him than  you would've been for his mother?"

 

 

 

 Mr. Davis took a deep breath. "Look, Mr. Cartwright. Reverend Gregory didn't say anything about you putting me through an inquisition. I'm the only family he has  left. He's my responsibility. It's that simple"

 

 

 

 Adam lifted his chin. "I'm afraid it isn't that simple, Mr. Davis. My wife and I love little Andy very much. We adopted him almost a month and a half ago.   According to the records, he's ours."

 

 

 

 "I'll get him," the man retorted through clenched teeth. "One way or another, he'll be coming with me."

 

 

 

 He turned to leave, but Adam gripped his arm firmly. "I wouldn't try anything drastic, if I were you, Mr. Davis," he said evenly, his eyes leveling with the other  man's.

 

 

 

 Mr. Davis pulled free. "Are you threatening me, Mr. Cartwright?"

 

 

 

 "Not yet, but call it what you like," Adam replied. "Just remember this---Andrew is ours, and he'll be staying with us. Goodbye." He ushered the man out the door,  and closed it behind him.

 

 

 

 He turned to Anne, his mouth set in a straight line. "He may be a relative, but he's not family. He doesn't love Andy---not like we do."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, holding her hand out to him. Taking it between his, he knelt beside her again and watched the sleeping baby. A tear welled up in his eye. It would be  sheer torture to give Andy up. Anne squeezed his hand, taking a deep breath.

 

 

 

 "Adam, let's pray about it," she suggested softly. "God gave him to us---He can dissolve this problem so we can keep him."

 

 

 

 He lifted his eyes to meet hers and nodded slowly. Together they poured out their hearts in prayer, making their requests known and leaving their burdens with the  Lord. Little Andrew slept on peacefully, completely unaware of the turmoil surrounding him, but secure in the love his new parents shared for him.

 

 

 

 Adam busied himself around the ranch, caring for the stock and mending harnesses, never going far from the house. When Anne called her family for lunch, he  decided not to mention the visitor to the children. They hadn't seen him and it would do no good for them to be worried.

 

 

 

 Beth helped Anne feed Andy, feeling very important and needed. Charlie watched, already regretting the hours he'd be spending at school in a few short months.

 

 

 

 Adam rose to his feet and went to the door. He calmly surveyed the beauty all around them, then stepped outside for a better look. "The sheriff's comin', Anne. It  must be important----he's ridin' fast."

 

 

 

 Anne laid the baby in the cradle and put the coffee pot on to boil. Just maybe, Clem would be the answer to their prayers.

 

 

 

 Clem dismounted before his horse had even stopped. "Adam, I need to talk to you," he called urgently, reaching into his saddle bag. He pulled out some papers  and walked into the house with Adam. Anne poured coffee for them and together they sat down at the table. She joined them after giving Charlie and Beth to play  with their pets, "not too far from the house," she cautioned.

 

 

 

 The sheriff unfolded a large sheet of paper, sliding it towards Adam. "Ever see that man?" he asked, watching his reaction.

 

 

 

 Adam exchanged looks with Anne and nodded slowly. "Yes, Clem---just this morning." He explained their encounter with Davis as Clem listened intently.

 

 

 

 "What name did you say he gave you?" he asked.

 

 

 

 "Grant Davis," Adam replied.

 

 

 

 Clem nodded. "This is the first time he's used his real name. We'd gotten word from back East that he was headed towards these parts, but that was weeks ago.   Last night, he checked into The International and someone recognized his face, though he's changed his hair considerably." He sighed. "Davis is a repeat  offender---a sort of registered bum, who waits until a family dies and then tries to get a child or someone helpless that he can use as an excuse to get money. He's

 quite well spoken as you know, and evidently able to sound pretty convincing, judging from the record he's got."

 

 

 

 Adam leaned forward. "Clem, before he left, Davis told us that he'd be back---that one way or another, he'd get Andrew. I don't know what he'll try, but I plan to  be ready for him."

 

 

 

 Clem glanced up at him. "Right, but you'll have help. I'll stake some of my men around your place tonight. For some reason, I don't think he'll wait to come back.   No doubt by now, he's seen a poster of himself somewhere around town."

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "What do you want me to do, Clem?"

 

 

 

 "Stay inside and keep your family safe. Have your gun ready, but don't use it unless you have to---" he shrugged. "You already know that," he finished almost  apologetically.

 

 

 

 He emptied his coffee cup and nodded at Anne. "Thank you, Anne. Well, Adam," he said, rising to his feet and reaching for his hat. "I'll see you later on."

 

 

 

 As he galloped away, Adam put his hands on Anne's shoulders. "We'll be okay," he assured her, looking down into her eyes.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled up at him, her arms encircling his waist. "I know we will." she said with confidence. "You will be careful---won't you, Darling?"

 

 

 

 He nodded. "I'll take care of the stock early and we'll make it a special evening for the children. They don't need to know why we're not enjoying the warm summer  evening outside."

 

 

 

 "They'll love that," she agreed as he bent to kiss her.

 

 

 

 "So will I," he said with a smile.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 The sun hung low in the West as Clem and his men met at the sheriff's office in Virginia City. Each man looked intently at the wanted poster until the face and  unmistakable features were indelibly ingrained in his mind. Clem motioned them closer and gave them the details in few words.

 

 

 

 "Let's go," he said quickly and as one man, they moved towards the door.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne made popcorn and they sat around in the living room playing games and singing. Charlie and Beth didn't question the reason why---it was so much fun they  didn't think to. Charlie's puppy Bella lay on the rug beside him, and little Stripey was curled up on Beth's lap. Adam kept one ear trained for any unusual noises  outside. Andy cooed contentedly in the cradle next to Anne.

 

 

 

 Adam heard a rock hit something on the porch, as though it had been kicked by accident, then total silence. He glanced at Anne, who on cue, picked up Andy and  took Charlie and Beth with her into a bedroom with the shades drawn and quietly closed the door. Lighting a lamp, she reached for a story book and settled down  in a chair with the children sprawling on the floor in front of her. With great effort, she concentrated on the story, doing her best to make it so interesting that they  wouldn't hear what was going on.

 

 

 

 Adam crept to the door, his hand poised on his pistol, the instincts of a cowboy sharp and alert. He listened---and waited. There was a low scuff just on the other  side of the door, and Adam tensed.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Clem motioned to a couple of men and pointed out the man by the door. "Get ready, men," he ordered in a low voice. They inched forward through the dark   stillness of night. There was no moon, making their approach without detection more feasible.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Grant Davis listened carefully. The house was completely silent, and but for a solitary lamp that he could see, completely dark. He contemplated his options and  decided to make a sudden, surprise attack. He withdrew a tiny toolcase and extracted the tool for picking a lock.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Inside, Adam watched as the lock slowly turned. Every muscle in his body was poised for action and he clicked the safety lock off on his pistol. The door knob  slowly turned.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 "Hurry!" Clem urged in a whisper. "He's ready to enter the house!" Under cover of night, they silently ran toward the house, just as a single shot rang out. Adam  stood over Davis, breathing hard. Davis looked up at him, his face twisted in pain and clutched his arm.

 

 

 

 Clem pulled him to his feet. "You're comin' with me, Davis" he ordered firmly.. "You've got a lot of questions to answer."

 

 

 

 "He could've killed me!!" Mr. Davis whined, looking menacingly at Adam.

 

 

 

 Clem leaned forward. "That was never his plan," he snapped. "What about you, Davis? Were you planning to kill him?"

 

 

 

 Davis turned away, ignoring the question. "Get moving," Clem said, giving him a shove.

 

 

 

 "Thanks, Clem," Adam called after him. Clem nodded.

 

 

 

 "Anytime, Adam. Thank you."

 

 

 

 Adam closed and relocked the door, conscious that the bedroom door where Anne and the children had secluded themselves was slightly ajar. He took a deep  breath and whispered a silent prayer. Pushing the door open, he found the children huddled close to Anne, their eyes wide. He smiled reassuringly at them and  briefly nodded to Anne. As carefully as he could, he explained to the children what had happened, and that they were now safe. Anne breathed a sigh of relief,  reaching for Adam's hand.

 

 

 

 "Thank God," she whispered, wiping away a tear. She glanced down at Andrew---he had slept peacefully through it all.

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam tossed the mail onto the table and reached for Anne, pulling her into his arms. "Coming back to you is the best part about going away from home, " he said  softly, meeting her eyes.

 

 

 

 Anne's smile was radiant as she lifted her face for his tender kiss. "Welcoming you back is what I always look forward to, " she whispered, embracing him warmly.

 

 

 

 He sat down at the table and leafed through the mail, stopping at one official looking letter. Raising his eyebrows, he slit it open and pulled out the heavy sheet of  paper.

 

 

 

 "Dear Mr. Cartwright," (he read aloud)

 

 "Upon further reflection, we have decided that your service is of immeasurable importance to our corporation. We are therefore asking you to reconsider our offer  of several months ago. The position of Vice Chairman awaits your acceptance.

 

 "We have taken the liberty of locating a beautiful home on several picturesque acres where you and your family would be quite comfortable. Several steps have  been taken to procure it for your immediate use.

 

 "Please respond with your decision as quickly as possible. The future of the company hinges on your reply.

 

 "Respectfully yours,

 

 George Thompson"

 

 

 

 Adam took a deep breath as Anne squeezed his shoulders lovingly.

 

 

 

 "That's quite an honor, Darling," she said gently.

 

 

 

 He nodded. "Yes, but it isn't for me. We wouldn't be happy there---not like we are here." He took her hand and pulled her into his lap. "Being together means  more to me than taking this position. I've seen enough of the city to know that families don't see each other very much---at least not like we're used to." He shook  his head. "No, my precious Anne, it isn't for us."

 

 

 

 Anne smiled and propped her elbow on his shoulder, bopping him sweetly on the nose. "I'm glad," she dais with contentment.

 

 

 

 His dimples flashed in a charming smile. "Thanks for understanding, Anne. I knew you would." With an tender, affectionate kiss, he rose to his feet, setting her  gently down. "I've got a letter to write," he said, a note of pleasure in his voice.

 

 

 

 Taking a sheet of fine writing paper, he took his place at the desk and began,

 

 

 

 "Dear Mr. Thompson,

 

 "I deeply appreciate your kind words and gracious offer, but after careful thought and consultation with my dear wife, have decided to decline-----."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 The young Cartwright family continued to enjoy the peace and tranquility of the Ponderosa, secure in the harmony of mutual love and friendship. Difficulties,  heartache, overwhelming grief---these but served to draw them closer to each other and to their God. It was with confidence that they welcomed each tomorrow,  knowing that He Who had guided them through the yesterday's, walked by their side in the present.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Author's Note: While most of the characters and locations are derived from NBC's popular Western Bonanza (1959-1973), created by David Dortort, the story  penned here is purely my own personal work. It has not been my intention to detract in any way from the original intent of the show's producers.

 

 

 

 Rachel Anderson

 

 

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