Till Death Do Us Part

 

 

 

 

 

 Anne pulled the blankets up around little Andrew's chin and drew in a deep breath of fresh mountain air. It was a glorious clear day--- pleasantly warm with a  gentle breeze that ruffled her hair and lifted her spirits. She smiled lovingly at the baby in her arms, her thoughts going back to the accident in the spring that caused  her to lose the child she and Adam had been expecting. With the tragic death of Andrew's young parents, Reverend Gregory had come to them, hoping they could  find room in their broken hearts to accept the orphaned infant. They had, and now it seemed he'd always been a part of the family. Anne hugged him to her, kissing  his soft cheek tenderly.

 

 

 

 "I love you, Andy, " she murmured against his hair. "You're such a precious gift from God to us."

 

 

 

 A song bird overhead trilled a melodious song, and Anne lifted her head, gazing in awe at the beauty around her. Snow-capped mountains loomed before her,  creating the perfect backdrop for the tall stately Ponderosa pines set against a brilliantly cloudless blue sky. She shaded her eyes with one hand and followed the  flight of an eagle soaring overhead.

 

 

 

 Adam stepped into the clearing and paused, a tender smile turning up the corners of his mouth. He advanced slowly, dropping down beside Anne and reached to  encircle her with his strong arms. Her dark eyes lit up as she lifted her face for his kiss, leaning against him for support.

 

 

 

 He held her close, smiling at the baby in her arms. "He's a fine boy, Anne, " he whispered. "I couldn't love him anymore if he were my very own."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded in agreement. "I know, " she replied softly. Little Andrew whimpered and began to cry, his little legs kicking against the blankets. With another smile,  Adam moved back while Anne took out a clean diaper and set about making the little one comfortable once more.

 

 

 

 It was the last picnic of the season for the young Cartwrights. Charlie would start school in another week, and before long the weather would hinder such outings.   Already the air held a hint of fall and a few deciduous trees were beginning to flaunt their autumn foliage. A twig nearby snapped, catching Adam's attention. He  looked up alertly and relaxed.

 

 

 

 Charlie stood a few feet away and practiced sighting a bird with his small rifle. He grinned at his father. "Pa, could we do some target practice now? "

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. The rifle had been his own as a boy and now it belonged to his son. Charlie was delighted with it and with Adam's help, was already becoming a  good marksman. He rose to his feet and squeezed Anne's shoulder, stooping to kiss her once more. His eyes conveyed an unspoken deep love for her..

 

 

 

 "We'll just be over in the next clearing," he said, reaching for his own rifle.

 

 

 

 Anne's smile was infectious. "Have fun, you two, " she replied cheerfully.

 

 

 

 Elizabeth joined her mother as Adam and Charlie disappeared through the woods. Her long dark hair hung in twin braids, giving her the appearance of a fair Indian  maiden. In her hand, she held her favorite book, torn and dog-eared ~ evidences that the contents were very special to the little girl. She smiled at Anne.

 

 

 

 "May I read aloud to you, Ma? " she asked eagerly.

 

 

 

 "I'd like that, Honey, " Anne replied enthusiastically. "Where are you in the book? "

 

 

 

 Beth told her briefly and started in, taking care to pronounce her words carefully and observe punctuation. Charlie had let her work with him, and it had paid off  well. Only five and already a very good reader. Anne listened proudly.

 

 

 

 Several shots rang out from a distance, and Beth paused in her reading. "Why do men like guns, Ma? "

 

  

 

 Anne laid Andy down on some soft blankets before answering. "I don't know exactly, Dear. I guess it's just part of being a man. They can defend themselves  ----or someone else with a gun, and it makes them feel independent and important."

 

 

 

 Beth nodded, satisfied and resumed her reading.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 It had grown suddenly very quiet and Anne lifted her head. listening carefully. All at once, Charlie burst into the clearing, tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

 

 

 "Ma, come quick! Pa's been hurt! " His breath came in short gasps, and he trembled as Anne stood, taking him in her arms.

 

 

 

 "Beth, watch Andy for me, " she instructed gently. "Let's go, Son." She grabbed a small bag containing a few medical supplies, breathing a silent prayer for her  husband's life.

 

 

 

 Charlie led his mother through the woods and stopped at a large boulder. "We were standing on this rock, when a big snake crawled out from under it, and Pa let  me try to kill it. I missed and when he backed up a little to get it in his sights, a pebble under his foot slid. Pa lost his balance and fell---down there." He stopped to  catch his breath, wiping the tears from his face.

 

 

 

 Anne glanced around, satisfied that the serpent was no where to be seen, and leaned forward, her heart pounding with the uncertainty of Adam's predicament and  her concern for his well being. She caught a glimpse of his leg on a ledge below and crept closer to the edge. Finally she was able to get a better look, and closed  her eyes briefly, biting her lip. Adam lay in a pool of blood, one leg twisted grotesquely under him. Charlie's little dog Bella sat protectively beside him and looked  up at Anne, wagging her tail.

 

 

 

 "Charlie, " she spoke urgently through the tears that sprang to her eyes. "Ride Abbey to Candy's place and tell him your Pa needs help. Maybe he can bring a  couple of his ranch hands along. Please hurry, Son."

 

 

 

 Charlie nodded and ran back to the clearing where Beth waited obediently with Andy. She looked up questioningly as he passed her.

 

 

 

 "I'm gonna get Candy, " he explained quickly, untying the little paint pony, a gift from his Uncle Joe on his 7th birthday. Abbey broke into a trot as soon as he'd  mounted, and Charlie turned her in the direction of the Canaday's spread.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 With great care, Anne found a place to descend the mountainside and after what seemed like hours, reached Adam. He was beginning to come to and moaned  painfully, struggling to move his leg. He drew a deep breath and succumbed again to a merciful unconsciousness. Anne gently stroked his face, stilling the fear within  her heart and let the tears fall.

 

 

 

 "Just hold on, Darling, " she whispered. "Charlie's gone for help."

 

 

 

 Taking a clean cloth from the bag, she painstakingly examined and cleaned the nasty cut on the side of his head. The blood still oozed from it, but Anne was  relieved to see it wasn't flowing rapidly. She applied an antiseptic and held it to the wound, wincing for him.

 

 

 

 "Dear God, " she prayed quietly as a tear dropped onto his shirt. "Take care of my Beloved Adam. Please don't let him die. " She suppressed her sobs and lifted  her eyes to the heavens. "Help them to get here soon---please."

 

 

 

 Bella licked her hand, resting her chin on Anne's knee.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Karyn pulled a weed from the late summer flowers and tossed it aside. Michael played contentedly under a small canopy that Candy had constructed for him near  her garden. Their loyal dog Champ lay beside the small boy, watching over him with a protective eye. Suddenly a low growl rose from his throat and Champ stood  to his feet, the hair on his neck stiffening. Karyn glanced up.

 

 

 

 "What is it, Champ? " she asked, then heard the sound of hoof beats and quickly arose from her stooped position.

 

 

 

 Charlie galloped into the yard, pulling Abbey to an abrupt stop. He dismounted hurriedly and rushed to her. Michael clapped his hands delightedly, laughing with  glee. Charlie managed a brief smile for his little friend.

 

 

 

 "Karyn," he gasped, "It's my Pa---he's hurt badly, and Ma sent me to get Candy and a couple of ranch hands. Where is he?"

 

 

 

 "Out riding the range, Charlie. They've all gone to look for rustlers, " Karyn said with immediate concern. "I'll hitch up the wagon and get your Grandpa. Will you  help me with Michael?"

 

 

 

 Charlie nodded and scooped the youngster up, much to his delight. Karyn called over her shoulder several things for him to get inside and he gathered them  quickly. As she drove the team into the yard, Charlie joined her, handing Michael up. Mounting Abbey, he kicked her into a gallop and rode ahead to tell his  Grandpa. He pictured his father lying inertly on the rock and prayed hard for a miracle.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne waited impatiently as dusk began to fall. She worried about Adam---the loss of blood, obviously broken leg, and now possibly hypothermia as a chill settled  down over the valley. Removing her large cape, she spread it over him, caressing his cheek lovingly. Beth was hopefully still at their picnic site caring for Andy.   Would she stay there or try to go for help herself ? Anne wondered.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Lord, help me to trust You, " she whispered, her voice trembling. "Bring somebody ---- soon."

 

 

 

 The moon was rising as a wagon rattled up, braking to a stop above, and Ben leaped down. Cupping his hands to his mouth, he called,

 

 

 

 "ANNE!!! Where are you?"

 

 

 

 Anne felt relief wash over her and stood to her feet. "Down here, Ben! " she called back, tears in her voice. He lifted a lantern high, and she waved at him. Minutes  later, he stood by her side and took her arm comfortingly. "I'm glad you were here with him, Anne. Has he roused? "

 

 

 

 "Only slightly. The pain was too much. He's been unconscious---for hours now." Her eyes shone with unshed tears.

 

 

 

 Ben nodded, putting his arm around her. "It's probably best he was. Go on up to the wagon and wait with Beth and Charlie. Joe will take your place here."

 

 

 

 Reluctantly, Anne climbed to the top and watched as Joe descended to the ledge below, a rope and stout board under his arm.

 

 

 

 At last, they had the injured man settled in the wagon, and Anne sat down beside him. His hand was warm to her touch and his breathing fairly normal. She  breathed a prayer of thanksgiving as Joe handed Beth and Andy up to her. Charlie rode along on Abbey, stopping at the picnic area to gather the basket and  blankets into their buggy where. Joe took possession of it and followed along to Adam and Anne's. Bella trotted behind the wagon.

 

 

 

 Ben had sent a ranch hand into Virginia City for Doc Martin, who reached the ranch before they did. He swung the door open and motioned them into the room off  from the entrance where he'd already prepared the bed and laid out his supplies. Joe and his father carefully laid Adam down and stepped out of Doc's way. He  immediately set to work.

 

 

 

 Anne held Andy close, thinking sorrowfully how happy they'd been that morning when leaving the ranch for the picnic. How quickly things had changed in just a  few short minutes. She put the coffee pot on to heat and leaned against the wall wearily, closing her eyes against the tears that always seemed to be filling them.   Karyn touched her arm.

 

 

 

 "Anne, " she whispered. "If there's anything I can do, let me know."

 

 

 

 She looked up and nodded as the tears spilled over. Wordlessly, Karyn took Andy laying him in the cradle, and put her arms around Anne. The two women cried  together, Karyn sharing the pain keenly felt by her friend. Sniffing, Anne pulled herself together.

 

 

 

 "Thank you, Karyn. I will." she wiped the tears away and managed a trembling resemblance of a smile. "If you'll just pray for Adam---."

 

 

 

 Karyn squeezed her hand. "You know we will, " she replied warmly. "I'm going home now. Candy will be worried, especially since I didn't take time to leave a  note. I'll check back, Anne."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded and removed the coffee pot from the stove. "Thanks, Karyn, " she said, her voice more steady. "Thanks so much for everything. "

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Doc Martin spent the night, promising to get word to Ben and Joe as soon as there was some change in Adam's condition. He checked on the wound to his head  once more before Anne went to tuck the children in.

 

 

 

 "He's fortunate it isn't deeper, Anne, " he said solemnly. "With the blow to the back of his head and this cut on the side and back, the damage could've easily been  more severe. " he frowned, rubbing the back of his neck and glanced up at her. "I'm not saying that it isn't serious enough as it is. We'll have to wait and see how  things are when he wakes up. "

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, blinking fast. "I need to tuck the children in, but I'll be back down in a little bit, Doc. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

 

 

 

 He smiled. "Thanks, Anne---I would, but I can get it."

 

 

 

 Her smile wobbled a little as she turned towards the stairs. Doc watched her go, sympathy filling his heart. She'd gone through so much---the loss of her baby and  now the near fatal injury of her husband. He shook his head, poured himself a cup of coffee, and picked up a medical book to read while he kept a close watch on  Adam.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 "...And Lord, please keep Pa safe while he gets better. Let him stay with us for a long time. In Jesus name, Amen." Beth jumped into bed and waited for her  mother to pull the covers up. Anne brushed away tears as she stood, stooping to kiss the fair, soft cheek. She pulled the blankets up to Beth's chin and smiled at  her.

 

 

 

 "Good night, Honey. Sweet dreams. "

 

 

 

 "You, too, Ma," Beth replied drowsily, her eyelids drooping.

 

 

 

 Anne blew out the lamp and closed the door part way. Charlie's prayer had been much the same as his sister's, and Anne fervently echoed both in her heart. She  slipped into the room she shared with Adam and dropped to her knees, sobbing her own prayer. Anne thought back to the many times she and Adam had prayed  together over various needs. She could almost feel the warmth of his strong hand closing over hers and the secure feeling his presence always filled her with.

 

 

 

 With more peace in her heart than she'd experienced in the past few hours, Anne tied on an apron and picked up Andy, rocking him gently. When he fell asleep,  she laid him in the crib and leaving the door open, went back downstairs.

 

 

 

 Doc met her at the foot of the stairs. "Anne, " he whispered. "There's no change yet. I'll stay with him through the night. You get your rest." He did not add that  tonight was a crucial milestone that would mark whether or not Adam held onto life.

 

 

 

 She nodded wearily. "Could I see him, Doc? Just for a few minutes?"

 

 

 

 He nodded. "Of course you may. Go on in."

 

 

 

 Anne sat down in the chair close to Adam. She remembered an incident very similar to this when he had been wounded while assisting Clem one Sunday after  church. That was shortly after they'd moved to the Ponderosa and were still living at Ben's house. She drew a deep breath and leaned forward.

 

 

 

 "You made it through then, Adam Dearest," she whispered. "I know you will this time, too." Anne took his hand and held it to her lips. "I love you, Adam. Sleep  well." She stooped and tenderly kissed him, leaving a tear on his cheek.

 

 

 

 Anne left the room blinded by tears and bumped into the doctor just outside the door. He steadied her with kind, firm hands.

 

 

 

 "It's okay, Anne, " he said gently. "Adam's going to be fine. " As he spoke the words, he inwardly willed it to be so.

 

 

 

 Anne did not look up. "Thank you, Doc, " she managed and turned away.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Two days passed uneventfully. Doc Martin had returned to VIrginia City, promising to stop in every evening after his office closed. Anne divided her time between  last minute preparations for Charlie's first day of school, tending to Beth and Andy, and sitting with Adam.

 

 

 

 The evening of the third day, Doc set his black bag down on the table and turned to check Adam over. To his surprise, Adam's eyes were open, a puzzled,  questioning look on his handsome face.

 

 

 

 "Well, Adam!" Doc exclaimed. "I'm glad to see you're awake."

 

 

 

 Adam frowned. "What did you call me, Doc?"

 

 

 

 "I called you by your name--- Adam." Doc replied slowly. He removed his stethoscope while he spoke and stepped closer.

 

 

 

 "Adam, " the injured man repeated thoughtfully. "Adam what?"

 

 

 

 Doc eyed him carefully. "Cartwright, " he replied. " Your name is Adam Cartwright."

 

 

 

 Adam closed his eyes thoughtfully and opened them again. He shook his head. "If you say so, Doc."

 

 

 

 The doctor expertly checked Adam's vital signs and examined the wound on his head. "What can you tell me about yourself?" he asked calmly.

 

 

 

 Adam thought for a moment. "Well, " he began slowly. "I'm not sure I can tell you anything. If I can't remember my own name, I must be in pretty bad shape."

 

 

 

 Doc smiled reassuringly. "Oh, I don't think it's as bad as all that, Adam. With time, you'll remember, and things will seem as they should. Just be patient." He  applied an antiseptic to the wound and carefully bandaged it. "I'd better call your wife. She'll---."

 

 

 

 "My wife!" Adam exclaimed. "I don't have a wife, Doc. I'm a confirmed bachelor."

 

 

 

 Doc's head snapped up and he faced Adam, all prepared to set him straight when he saw the honesty in his eyes and realized that he really didn't remember.

 

 

 

 "A confirmed----. " He stopped and switched directions. "Oh, is that so?, " he queried.

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "I'm sure if it, Doc."

 

 

 

 Doc excused himself and stepped out of the room, closing his eyes. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. How could he tell Anne that Adam no longer  remembered being married, much less anything else about himself ? He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

 

 

 

 He found Anne in the kitchen, fixing him a cup of coffee. Taking it gratefully, he sat down at the table and rested his chin on his hand. Anne sat down across from  him and sipped a steaming cup.

 

 

 

 "How is Adam this evening, Doc? " she asked hesitantly.

 

 

 

 He looked past her out the window and set his mouth in a straight line. "Anne, " he said at length, "He's awake."

 

 

 

 Her eyes widened and she set her cup down slowly, a smile growing across her face. "Awake?" she repeated breathlessly. "Oh, Doc, do you know how I've  prayed for this? I want to see him!" Anne pushed her chair back quickly.

 

 

 

 Doc swallowed hard and reached for her arm as she passed him. "Anne---wait." he spoke hesitantly, dreading the news he was about to devastate her with.  "Adam doesn't remember anything. Not even his own name. He----he doesn't remember being married."

 

 

 

 Anne's brow furrowed. "He what? Oh, Doc! Are you sure?"

 

 

 

 Doc nodded sadly. "Yes, I questioned him about various things and he is definitely suffering from amnesia. How serious it is and how long it will last, I have no way  of knowing."

 

 

 

 Anne sank down into a chair and buried her face in her hands. Lifting tear filled eyes, she whispered, "What do want me to do?"

 

 

 

 "Well," Doc replied slowly, thoughtfully. "For the time being, pretend to be my assistant. Nurse him back to health, but try not to give anything away. It would only  confuse him at this point." He patted her hand. "Be extra understanding of him if he's cross and impatient. He may have to relearn just about everything."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded mechanically. "Doc, what do I tell the children---our children?" Her voice was husky with emotion.

 

 

 

 "Tell them the truth, but it might be best if they don't have much contact with him---at least right now. Adam doesn't yet know who he is, and he may say things that  would be hurtful to them." he glanced at her. "He might to you, too, Anne. Can you be brave and take it like it was from someone else---a stranger maybe?"

 

 

 

 Anne turned her face away, and Doc saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'll try," she said brokenly.

 

 

 

 He squeezed her shoulder. "I know you will. Thanks for the coffee, Anne. I'd better get back to Adam. Do you want to come with me?"

 

 

 

 Anne drew a long shuddering breath. "In a little while," she whispered. He nodded and left her alone. She carried the empty cups back to the kitchen, setting them  down woodenly, tears splashing on the counter. Adam didn't remember that he was married----would he recognize her ? she wondered. Perhaps if he saw her, it  would all come to him. Anne choked back the sobs, dried her tears and peeked in the mirror, hope growing in her heart.

 

 

 

 Smoothing her apron, she stepped inside Adam's room, immediately catching his attention.

 

 

 

 "Hello," he greeted her pleasantly. Anne caught her breath at the sound of his voice, deep and confident. How she'd missed hearing it lately! "Who's this Doc?" he  continued, and her hopes plummeted. She opened her mouth to speak, but her throat constricted and she glanced uncertainly at the doctor.

 

 

 

 "Adam, this is my assistant, Anne." he quickly answered. " She'll be staying with you and keeping an eye on you while I'm in my office."

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "Whatever you say, Doc." he said, giving her an impersonal smile. With a quick glance at him, Anne hurried from the room.

 

 

 

 Once out in the great room, she dropped down on the sofa and buried her face in a pillow, sobbing brokenly. It was indeed the voice of her beloved Adam, but the  eyes of a stranger that looked back at her. Her grief knew no limits at that moment as Anne tried to pray for strength.

 

 

 

 She rose slowly and withdrew a small journal from the desk. Lighting a lamp, she took a seat and opened to a blank page.

 

 

 

 "My Darling Adam, (she wrote)

 

 "For the first time since we met, you don't know who I am. I seem a stranger to you, though to me, you are still my precious husband and the loving father of our 3  children. In time, I have hope that you will remember us. Until then, I am placing you in the Lord's tender care. I love you with all of my heart and always will." She  dated the entry and blotted the tears that dampened the page.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam watched her leave. "She's a quiet woman, " he remarked. "Is she a nurse ?"

 

 

 

 Doc mixed up some pain medication, handing the glass to Adam. "Anne is my very best assistant, " he replied, "That's why I want her to nurse you back to health."   He set the empty glass down on the dresser and faced Adam squarely. "She's also a very gentle and sensitive woman. If you do or say anything to hurt her, you'll  answer to me." His voice was firm, leaving no room for debate.

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "Don't worry ~ I'll be respectful of her." He shrugged helplessly. "Doc, how long will it be before I start remembering things? "

 

 

 

 Doc reached for his bag and raised his eyebrows. "That's hard to say, Adam. Don't try to force it---just be patient and give yourself time. Here's a bell to ring when  you need Anne. Good night, now."

 

 

 

 Adam lifted his hand. "Thanks, Doc. Good night." He closed his eyes, laying back on his pillows, his mind whirling. How long have I been like this? he wondered.   What was I like before? Who was I before? Why did Doc ask about calling my wife?

 

 

 

 He looked around the room, searching for some familiar object, his eyes finally lighting on the Bible beside him. Reaching for it, he opened to the Psalms and read  one aloud slowly. Sighing, he closed the Bible, and bit his lower lip.

 

 

 

 "Lord, I'm sure we've been on speaking terms---at least You don't seem like a stranger to me. I've forgotten everything, myself included. If You already know me,  won't you help me remember?" He rubbed his chin thoughtfully and felt the wound on the side of his head.

 

 

 

 "Ouch," he said softly, wincing at the touch. He shook his head slowly. "I feel so lost," he whispered, closing his eyes again.

 

 

 

 Adam's thoughts turned toward Anne. Doc seemed very protective of her, and his curiosity rose. He reached for the bell and rang it.

 

 

 

 Out in the great room, Anne raised her head, realizing she must've fallen asleep. She replaced the journal and took a deep breath, praying for guidance. "He's my  husband, and I love him so much ," she whispered. "I'll win him back, if need be". She lifted her chin and crushing the tears from her long lashes, took a deep  breath, opening the door to his room.

 

 

 

 "Yes, Mr. Cartwright?" she asked, trying to still the pounding of her heart. Adam looked so sweet and loveable propped up against the pillows, his dark hair  flopped down over his forehead. Love for him threatened to give her away, and she moved about the room quickly straightening a few things.

 

 

 

 He watched her quietly. "I guess I don't really need anything, Anne, " he said. reluctantly, as if afraid she might scold him for calling her without a reason. "I  shouldn't have rung the bell."

 

 

 

 "That's okay. Are you hungry? " Her voice nearly broke, and she swallowed hard trying to steady it.

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "I could eat something, " he replied.

 

 

 

 "I'll fix you some hot soup, " Anne felt relief that things had gone so well, but as she entered the kitchen and stirred up the fire, the ache in her heart returned. It was  so difficult to call Adam Mr. Cartwright and to keep their relationship strictly professional. She sighed, leaning against the cupboard and shook her head.

 

 

 

 Can I keep it up ? she wondered. More than anything, she wanted to feel his arms around her, his lips capturing hers--- and to hear him tell her again that he loved  her. Relating to him as a total stranger when they'd been best friends as husband and wife was going to be the hardest challenge she'd ever faced. Anne put the  soup on to heat and set out a coffee cup. Lifting the curtain, she peeked outside. It was a clear night with a multitude of stars twinkling in the canopy overhead.   Stars that she and Adam often looked at together, trying to identify each constellation. Tears stung her eyes. Would he ever be himself ? Would he ever remember  her ?

 

 

 

 She cleared her throat, brushing away the tears and arranged an attractive tray for Adam. On impulse, she laid a single white rose from her rose garden ~ a gift  from Adam on their anniversary a couple of years ago. She paused slightly at the door, then pushed it open and set the tray on the table beside him.

 

 

 

 Adam smiled disarmingly. "That looks wonderful! Thank you. "

 

 

 

 Not trusting herself to speak, Anne only nodded and turned away. "Do you---have to leave?" he asked.

 

 

 

 Anne turned back. "No, " she shook her head. "I don't have to leave. Is there something else I can do for you, Mr. Cartwright ?" Her heart was in her throat as she  spoke.

 

 

 

 He nodded. "Would you come and sit down over here? I'd like to talk to you. It's rather lonely, cooped up in bed and not remembering anything. Maybe you can  help me."

 

 

 

 "Oh, if only I can ! " Anne thought fervently. She took a seat and folded her hands in her lap, giving him a gentle smile.

 

 

 

 He leaned forward, laying his spoon down. "There's something about your smile that seems very familiar, for some reason, " he said, a frown darkening his brow. "I  don't know-----. " He glanced at her. "You have a beautiful smile."

 

 

 

 Anne blinked fast to suppress the tears. "Thank you," she whispered, looking down.

 

 

 

 Adam was quiet for a little while. "Are you from around here ?" he asked.

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head. "No, I'm from New England. I grew up in Boston."

 

 

 

 "Boston?" Adam repeated. "Why does that name ----?" he shrugged his shoulders and sighed. His eyes held fading hope as he faced her. "Anne, is it any use? It's  miserable feeling so close to remembering something, but it's still so far away."

 

 

 

 Anne leaned forward and put her hand on his arm. "Don't give up, Adam," she said earnestly. "Give yourself a chance."

 

 

 

 A smile lit up his face, and Anne felt her heart grow warm. "You called me Adam," he said with satisfaction. "I like the way you said it. Mr. Cartwright sounds  much too formal."

 

 

 

 Anne bit her lip, having realized her slip-up as soon as she'd made it. Perhaps it was for the best. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Not even when she first  met Adam had she ever called him Mr. Cartwright. It was simply impossible to keep thinking of him as such. She nodded.

 

 

 

 "I like it better, too," she admitted.

 

 

 

 "Tell me more about yourself," he coaxed. "Did you leave Boston when you were a little girl?"

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head. "No, I was a woman when I came West."

 

 

 

 "Why did you come ?" he questioned.

 

 

 

 Anne caught her breath. "I came to---to be a---mail order bride." Her words were halting and hesitant.

 

 

 

 Adam gave a low whistle. "That took courage !" he said with admiration. "Did you like him? The man you came West for ? "

 

 

 

 Anne's eyes met his briefly. "No ," she replied softly. "He wasn't at all what he'd written in letters. I---I was very disappointed in him."

 

 

 

 Adam shook his head. "That's too bad," he said sympathetically, and Anne felt tears stinging her eyes. "So you never married?"

 

 

 

 Again she shook her head. "Oh, no, I did get married---to someone else."

 

 

 

 He watched her for a moment. "Where is your husband, Anne?"

 

 

 

 Anne's head came up quickly and she looked at him, tears filling her eyes. "He's---away right now," she whispered, averting her eyes..

 

 

 

 "I see ," he replied. "I hope he knows what a fortunate man he is.."

 

 

 

 Anne's smile trembled. "What about you, Adam? Did you ever get married?"

 

 

 

 He glanced at the wedding band on his left hand. "I don't know," he replied confused. "I told Doc I hadn't, but this ring---." He shrugged. "Until I remember her,  she's better off forgetting about me."

 

 

 

 Anne's eyes met his. "I don't think any woman who loved you enough to marry you could ever forget you ," she said softly with feeling.

 

 

 

 Adam smiled and reached for her hand. "Well, whoever she is, I hope she's alot like you."

 

 

 

 A tear spilled over, followed by another and Anne stood quickly, reaching for the tray. "Good night ," she whispered. Noticing that the soup was but half gone, and  he'd scarcely touched his coffee, she set the tray back down. "I'll---get it in the morning."

 

 

 

 Adam's disappointment showed on his face. "I'm sorry." he said regretfully. "I didn't mean to upset you." he handed her his handkerchief and the action so like the  Adam of old was too much. Anne ran from the room, leaving the door ajar. He could hear her muffled sobs in the living room and sighed heavily. The rose on the  tray caught his eye and he smiled sadly, wishing he'd noticed it in time to say Thank you.

 

 

 

 What was it about her that stirred his heart ? he wondered. He shook his head and sipped the coffee slowly. Maybe in time he'd sort everything out. One thing was  for certain---if Doc discovered he'd made Anne cry, he'd be in real trouble. Adam sighed again, hoping she wouldn't tell, and that he'd be able to talk to her again  ~ about a subject that was safe.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne slept little, waking often to find tears on her cheeks. The pillowcase was saturated when she finally got up and dressed for another difficult day. Almost she  wished Adam were still unconscious. It was much easier tending him as her husband then than now---a man fully in charge of his senses, but groping for his lost  memory. "If I can only hold the tears back and let him get to know me all over again ," she whispered.

 

 

 

 Kneeling by her bed, she implored for the strength to do just that. She arose and lifted Andy from his crib, changed him into clean garments and warmed some milk  for him. Humming to him sweetly, she began preparing breakfast when Adam rang his bell. Anne quickly moved the coffee and cereal to the back of the stove and  adjusted Andy in her arms.

 

 

 

 His door stood open as she'd left it the night before, and Anne stepped inside. Andy's eyes were focused adoringly on Anne, and Adam smiled, admiration written  all over his face.

 

 

 

 "Good morning, Anne ," he said cheerily. "Who do you have with you this morning ?" His tray from the night before had been placed on the other side of his bed.

 

 

 

 Anne returned his smile. "Good morning, Adam. This is my son Andrew. " She approached the bed and lowered the child so Adam could get a better look. "Andy,  this is Adam Cartwright."

 

 

 

 Andy's eyes shifted to the man in the bed and his face broke into a happy smile of recognition. He gurgled with delight, reaching for Adam. Anne's heart nearly  stopped, then thudded painfully on.

 

 

 

 Adam glanced up at her. "May I hold him ?" he asked softly.

 

 

 

 She nodded and transferred the growing baby to Adam's arms. He held him with ease and obvious pleasure, looking up at Anne.

 

 

 

 "He's a handsome little boy. Does he---take after your husband ?" He asked the question hesitantly.

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head. "No, my husband and I adopted Andy a few weeks ago. His parents were tragically killed, and they had no close relatives to take him in.   We fell in love with him immediately."

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "I can see why you would." he mused. "Is he your only child ?"

 

 

 

 "No, " Anne replied, a catch in her voice, "We have two children of our own. Charlie is 7 and will start school next week. Beth is 5. She's my little helper."

 

 

 

 Adam smiled broadly. "Charlie and Beth. I'd like to meet them sometime." he glanced down at Andy, then back up at Anne. "I hope your husband comes back  soon. He doesn't know what he's missing." His eyes met hers.

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, sudden tears illuminating her dark eyes. "I hope so, too." she whispered.

 

 

 

 He handed Andy back to her. "Anne ," he began apprehensively, "Does it bother you to talk about him ?"

 

 

 

 She drew a deep breath, biting her lower lip and hesitated. He touched her hand gently.. "I'm sorry. I enjoyed talking to you last night and hope I didn't ruin  everything." his eyes darkened, and he looked away. "I may not have learned anything more about myself, but I did learn more about you. I'm sorry if my questions  were too personal."

 

 

 

 Her smile caught him by surprise even as she blinked away the tears. "I enjoyed talking to you, too, Adam. Please, don't worry about it. " Turning, she left the room  hastily leaving him to ponder carefully what she said and to weigh her words against her actions.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne gathered the breakfast dishes to one side of the table and sat down, facing Charlie and Beth. Her hands trembled slightly, and she folded them in her lap.

 

 

 

 "Children ," she began, carefully thinking ahead, "I have something I need to talk to you about." Two pair of brown eyes focused on her attentively. "Your Pa is  awake, but---" she held up her hand as both started to rise excitedly, "He doesn't remember anything about us--- or even about himself."

 

 

 

 Charlie and Beth exchanged shocked expressions and dropped back into their chairs in disbelief. Anne continued, "Doc Martin thinks his memory will come back,  but it will take time---maybe a lot of time, we don't know. " She reached to take each of their hands in hers. "Right now, I'm just his nurse and you're my children.   Do you think you can call him Mr. Cartwright ?"

 

 

 

 Beth closed her eyes as tears trickled down her rosy cheeks. "I don't know, Ma, " she whispered honestly. "I'll try."

 

 

 

 Charlie swallowed hard. "I will, too, " he replied huskily. "If only I hadn't asked Pa to target practice with me----!" his voice broke and he buried his face in his  arms.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Charlie!" Anne whispered, rising to take him in her arms. "Your Pa enjoyed that so much. He wanted to take the rifles along, remember? It's not your fault,  Honey. " She held him close, and stroked his dark hair gently.

 

 

 

 The bell rang from down the hall, and Anne faced both children again. "I need to go to him. Later, I want to introduce you, but not yet. Try to think of him as a  stranger---but as a kind one. He's still a very nice man, even without his memory of us."

 

 

 

 She hurried down to his room and approached him, outwardly calm. His brow was furrowed as he looked up at her.

 

 

 

 "Anne, I've been studying on something, and I can't figure it out. Do you think you could help me ?"

 

 

 

 Anne slowly took a seat. "Maybe ," she replied softly. "What can't you figure out ?"

 

 

 

 "How long have I been like this ?"

 

 

 

 "This is the fourth day ," she answered.

 

 

 

 He sat up straighter and winced at the quick movement. "Four days? That's all ?" he asked incredulously. "What happened to me ?"

 

 

 

 Anne bit her lower lip, arranging his pillows. "You---were target practicing and saw a large snake by a rock. In trying to get it in your sights, your foot slipped on a  small stone and you fell several feet to a rocky ledge down below---."

 

 

 

 Adam held up his hand. "A snake." he said almost breathlessly. "Anne, I remember the snake. It was a large timber rattler, and it crawled out from under the  boulder I was standing on. " He closed his eyes. "But---that's all I remember."

 

 

 

 She leaned forward. "That's a start, Adam! Don't try to push yourself. Just let it come to you."

 

 

 

 "Was I alone when I was injured ?" he asked.

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head. "No, Adam You were target practicing with your---with a little boy."

 

 

 

 "Who found me ?"

 

 

 

 "He went for help and someone stayed with you until they arrived." Anne replied gently.

 

 

 

 "Oh ," Adam nodded, closing his eyes. "Who stayed with me ?" he focused intently on her face.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled at him. "I did ,"

 

 

 

 He watched her carefully. "Thank you ," he replied simply. "I'm beginning to owe you a great deal, Anne. I hope I wasn't any trouble for you."

 

 

 

 Her eyes glistened in the soft lamplight and Adam watched quietly as she turned her head away to hide the tears. "No trouble at all ," she whispered.

 

 

 

 He touched her hand gently. "I'm glad." he said softly. She rose and prepared the pain medication, administering it as instructed. He took it obediently, but lay  watching her finish tidying up his room until the medicine began to take effect. Anne peeked at him as she placed a clean towel on the wash basin.

 

 

 

  Adam closed his eyes, and Anne prepared to leave the room. "Anne ," he called after her, "Thank you." She smiled and stepped outside, leaving the door partly  open.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Towards evening, Doc Martin rode up as a wagon rumbled into the yard, and Anne pulled the curtain aside. Ben and Joe jumped down, Joe reaching up to help  Annabelle as Ben gave Marilynne a hand. She turned back to Adam.

 

 

 

 "It's Doc Martin. I'll only be a minute."

 

 

 

 She opened the door and quickly explained how things were going to Doc. He looked at her closely.

 

 

 

 "You're doing a wonderful job, Anne. Is it too much for you ?"

 

 

 

 She sighed, but shook her head. "No, I don't think so. I'm still playing everything by ear and trusting God to help me. I do hope Adam remembers me soon, though.   He keeps asking about my husband, and I'm hard put to know how to answer." Unshed tears glistened in her eyes.

 

 

 

 Doc squeezed her arm. "I'm sure it must be very difficult. But there's no one else who can help him remember you any better than you can. Hang with him, Anne. It  will pay off."

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, turning to welcome Adam's family. She quietly explained the situation to them, finally succumbing to the raw emotion that tore at her constantly.  Marilynne folded her in her arms, whispering what comfort she could. Joe was thoroughly shocked.

 

 

 

 "I'm sorry, Anne. We'll do all we can to jog his memory and bring him back to you."

 

 

 

 Anne smiled through her tears. "Thank you, Joe ," she whispered.

 

 

 

 At last, she composed herself and led them to Adam's room. They stepped inside and Doc looked up with a big smile. "Look who's here, Adam !"

 

 

 

 Adam glanced from one to the other, spotting Anne by the door. His eyes lit up. "Anne, are these friends of yours?" he asked.

 

 

 

 Ben's face registered disappointment, but he masked it quickly as Anne took a seat beside Adam.

 

 

 

 "Yes, Adam, " she replied with a forced calm, "This is Ben Cartwright and his wife Marilynne ," she paused while they shook hands with Adam, " And this is Ben's  youngest son, Joe and his wife Annabelle."

 

 

 

 Adam smiled graciously. "I'm pleased to meet you." he addressed them collectively, then with a puzzled expression, he turned to the doctor. "Cartwright. Doc,  isn't that what you said my last name is ?"

 

 

 

 Doc nodded. "That's right, Adam. Ben is your father."

 

 

 

 Adam leaned forward. "You are ?" he asked, smiling politely at Ben. "I don't---" he hesitated, "What did I call you ?"

 

 

 

 Ben swallowed hard. "You called me Pa," he replied, his voice husky and low.

 

 

 

 "Pa," Adam repeated, nodding. "I wish I could remember you----Pa," he glanced at Joe. "Since you're his son, that must mean you're my brother ?" he asked it  almost apprehensively.

 

 

 

 Joe nodded. "It sure does, Adam. It's awfully good to see you. " He spoke cheerfully, though inside his heart was breaking for Anne. He noticed her gentle smile as  she watched Adam struggle to grasp what had come easily before. Joe smiled to himself, concealing his own emotions. She loves him so much that she'll win him  back even if he never remembers the past, he thought proudly.

 

 

 

 Adam leaned back against the pillows and put one hand to his chin. The motion brought tears to Ben's eyes. It was so like Adam to do that in a perplexing  situation, yet so unlike Adam to be the one utterly confused. But his next question cut like a knife.

 

 

 

 "Is my mother here, too ?"

 

 

 

 Ben bit his lower lip, hot tears filling his eyes. "No, Son. She---she's in heaven, " he whispered hoarsely.

 

 

 

 Adam shook his head sorrowfully.. "I'm sorry, Pa, I---I ." He stopped, not sure whether to say he'd forgotten or that he hadn't known.

 

 

 

 Joe stepped up to the bed and leaned forward, his strong hands gripping the footboard.

 

 

 

 "Adam, we'll go now and let you rest. We'll be back." His tone belied the deep anguish he felt for his eldest brother, though his expressive eyes glistened with tears.

 

 

 

 Adam smiled. "Thank you all for coming, " He lifted his hand and motioned upward. "Maybe next time you come, I'll be more like you remember me."

 

 

 

 "Don't you worry about that, " Joe assured him. "You just try to get well as fast as you can---and don't make things too hard for your pretty nurse here."

 

 

 

 Adam chuckled, reaching for Anne's hand. He held it close and smiled warmly at her. "I won't," he said with feeling. "I don't know what I'd do without Anne." As  he spoke the words, his smile melted away, and he looked off in the distance. Finally he turned to Anne whose eyes swam with tears. "I think I've said that before,"  he said softly, puzzled again by partial recollection.

 

 

 

 Ben glanced at Joe and motioned towards the door. With a wave at Adam, they left the room, suppressing their emotion with difficulty, and went to visit with  Charlie and Beth before returning home.

 

 

 

 Doc had stood quietly off to the side but approached Adam after the others filed out of the room. "Anne tells me you're beginning to remember some other things,  too, Adam. That must be encouraging."

 

 

 

 Adam nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off Anne. He lifted her chin gently. "What is it, Anne? What did I say this time ?" he asked softly.

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head. "Oh, Adam---!" She stood quickly and rushed from the room, leaning against the wall outside his door and leaving Adam completely  confused. He heaved a deep sigh.

 

 

 

 "Doc, I don't know what's going on. In just the short time I've known Anne, I've fallen in love with her, and it can't ever be. She's already married and has three  children. " He shook his head disparagingly. "You'd better find me another nurse."

 

 

 

 "Anne's the only one I can spare for you, Adam ," Doc replied firmly. "She's got all the skills necessary to bring you back to your full strength and potential---that's  why I wanted her to be here." He took a deep breath. "You'll have to sort out your own emotions, Adam. Anne stays."

 

 

 

 Adam sighed and closed his eyes. "Why, Doc? Why did some other guy have to find her first? What am I going to do ?"

 

 

 

 The doctor eyed him silently for a moment. Finally he spoke slowly, "Adam, you just need to talk to Anne. She'll have more answers for you than I ever could."

 

 

 

 He sighed. "I don't want to make things difficult for her, Doc. She's so sweet and wonderful, and I seem to always bring up a subject that makes her cry."

 

 

 

 Doc nodded. "Ask her what her husband's name is, Adam. " he suggested.

 

 

 

 "Do you think she'll take it as prying into her personal life too much ?" Adam questioned thoughtfully.

 

 

 

 "If she does, she'll tell you, " Doc replied sagely, "Now, let's look at that leg."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne picked up her Bible and turned to a favorite passage, reading it slowly. Tears blurred the words before her, but she brushed them away. Before long, she'd  have to relieve Doc, and she wasn't sure she was ready to yet. The look in Adam's eyes and the tenderness in his voice and touch both stirred her heart and  frightened her. He loved her, yet thought she was married to another man. She shook her head---could it be any worse? She longed to be with Adam, regardless  of his memory, but he was still a man of deeply held principles, for which she was grateful. Another man's wife was off limits, even if the other man and Adam  were one and the same. In his mind, they were two distinct personalities.

 

 

 

 Slipping to her knees, Anne prayed for wisdom and strength to guide Adam's thoughts to complete restoration of his memory. When she looked at the clock, she  rose quickly---Doc would be leaving in about 5 minutes. She wanted to speak with him before he left, and get his take on Adam's frame of mind.

 

 

 

 As an afterthought, she picked up a small volume that lay on the table beside their bed. It was a book of poems and sonnets by Shakespeare and various other  poets ~ a treasure to Adam, and a gift from her a couple of years before.. With a smile, she placed it with the Bible and changing into a fresh apron, descended the  stairs.

 

 

 

 Doc was just finishing last minute preparations for Anne to take his place when she entered the room. "Ah, Anne, you're just in time. I'm about ready to leave our  patient in your capable hands." He washed his hands and dried them quickly. "May I see you for a moment, please ?"

 

 

 

 She laid the books down on the small table and followed him into the great room, sitting down across from him. "What is it, Doc ?"

 

 

 

 "Anne ," he said slowly, "I feel that Adam may be on the brink of remembering. Try to gently draw as much out of him as you can." He looked at her with  compassion. "I know it's hard for you to see him practically as a stranger, but, Anne----he's got to express himself. If your emotions get the best of you, stay in  there with him and tough it out. Maybe it will help him, too; you never know. Can you do it ?"

 

 

 

 Anne nodded. "I'll do my best, Doc."

 

 

 

 He squeezed her shoulder and rose to go. "Good Girl. I've left some sleeping powders on the counter, but only for an emergency. His leg is paining him some."

 

 

 

 "Thank you, Doc." Anne replied quietly. "I'm very grateful for everything you've done for us."

 

 

 

 Doc smiled cheerfully despite his weariness. "You're welcome, Anne. Take care, now." As the door closed behind him, Anne took a deep breath. Perhaps this  evening held the key to recovering something very precious.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam closed his eyes as Doc left the room. He felt confused yet excited about seeing Anne again. He shook his head, longing for some answer to the nagging in his  heart.

 

 

 

 "Oh, God ," he prayed, drawing a deep breath and expelling it slowly, "Won't you help me? Have I always been so alone? Please----make a  difference----somehow!"

 

 

 

 He lay back against the pillows and sighed. "Help me with Anne. Show me what to do---how to feel. Take this love in my heart and---." he stopped and turned  anguished eyes to the door. "Just help me know what to do about her."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 "I thought you weren't ever coming back !" Adam exclaimed as she stepped inside his room, setting down a basket of towels she'd washed earlier.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled. "I had to check on the children and make sure they were okay."

 

 

 

 "Were they ?" he asked with interest.

 

 

 

 Anne nodded. "Beth was having a bad dream, but she's alright now. Charlie was sleeping well as usual, and Andy's doing fine, too."

 

 

 

 "How do you keep track of them all ?" he queried.

 

 

 

 Anne chuckled softly. "Oh, it isn't hard. When they arrive one at a time, you get used to them---one at a time." She checked the notes Doc had made during his  check-up.

 

 

 

 "I'll bet you're a wonderful mother, Anne ," Adam said gently.

 

 

 

 Anne lifted her head, smiling her thanks, but made no reply. She shook out a towel and folded it expertly, reaching for another. Adam watched her quietly.

 

 

 

 "Could I help you fold those ?" he asked.

 

 

 

 Anne nodded. "I'd like that---Thank you ," she moved the basket onto the chair and cleared the little table, noticing that the book of poetry was lying beside him on  the bed.

 

 

 

 "I see you've been looking at the book I brought in. Do you like poetry ?" she questioned.

 

 

 

 Adam glanced at the book beside him. "Uh huh. I think so. Some of these poems almost seem like old friends. " He shook his head. "I wonder if I've read them  before."

 

 

 

 "Hmmm, could be ," Anne's reply gave nothing away, as she continued working. "Do you feel up to reading one aloud ?"

 

 

 

 Adam smiled. "For you, Anne, I'd read one even if I didn't feel up to it." He opened the front cover and scanned the page, leaning forward in surprise. "Anne!  Look at this!"

 

 

 

 Anne laid a wash cloth aside and bent down to see. She read softly ~ "To my precious husband Adam on the occasion of our 7th wedding anniversary. I love  you, Darling! From your Anne"

 

 

 

 Adam frowned thoughtfully. "What---?"

 

 

 

 Anne gently raised his chin so their eyes could meet. "Adam," she whispered. "You may never remember me, but I gave you that book almost 2 years ago on our  wedding anniversary."

 

 

 

 His face registered complete surprise. "You're---" he stopped and closed his eyes briefly. "Are you telling me that you're my wife, Anne ?" his voice had dropped  to a whisper.

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, her throat constricting with emotion. Adam laid the book down and reached for her hand, making room for her to sit down facing him.

 

 

 

 "No wonder Doc told me to ask you what your husband's name is." Adam shook his head in disbelief. "Oh, Anne---! If only I could remember----!"

 

 

 

 Her soft fingers gently pressed against his lips. "Stop that, Adam," she scolded sweetly. "Perhaps you will in time, but fretting over it won't bring your memory any  faster."

 

 

 

 Adam squeezed her hand, caressing it tenderly and looked deep into her eyes. "I know that ," he said as a regretful sigh escaped his lips. "But I just know I've  forgotten some very wonderful and special times." He held her hand to his lips and kissed it.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled, tears of joy stinging her eyes. "Yes, Darling," she whispered, "I know that's true, but I'll help you fill in the blanks as much as I can."

 

 

 

 He nodded, resigning himself to the inevitability of the present. "In all the years, Anne, have you had any regrets that you married me ?" he ventured to ask.

 

 

 

 She shook her head, holding his gaze. "No regrets, Adam Darling ," she replied in a whisper.

 

 

 

 "You could've chosen any man ," he pressed.

 

 

 

 "No, Adam," Anne replied with a catch in her voice, "There was always only one man for me---you."

 

 

 

 His strong arms pulled her close as his lips captured hers in a gentle, loving kiss. Anne rested her cheek against his, and sighed with contentment.

 

 

 

 "Anne ," he spoke softly with a hint of concern, "What if I never remember the years we've already spent together?"

 

 

 

 Anne squeezed his shoulders tenderly. "We'll make new memories, Darling."

 

 

 

 He released her and looked deep into her eyes. "I'm glad Doc made me keep you on as my nurse. I asked him to find someone else for me because I had fallen in  love with you and you were already married." He chuckled softly. "Man, how mixed up could a guy be ?"

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head. "Oh, Adam---none of that matters now! Whether or not you recall the past is of no importance to me. It's the future that counts---and we'll  spend that together."

 

 

 

 Adam's eyes grew dark with love and intensity. "Did I ever tell you how wonderful you are ?"

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, smiling. "You used to tell me that often."

 

 

 

 He smiled in return, "Good. Then you won't mind hearing it from me again." His arms drew her closer. "I love you, Anne ," he whispered, his voice husky and  gentle.

 

 

 

 Anne closed her eyes. "I love you, too, Adam---so very much."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 With a light heart Anne prepared breakfast, eager to tell the children that their father was ready to see them. Her heart was full of one continuous prayer of  thanksgiving to the Lord for helping Adam this far in his recovery. She knew there was much yet to do---all of his old friends, business associates, etc. would take  time to sort out and get re-acquainted with, but with God's help, they'd do it. Anne smiled to herself, humming a little tune as she set the table.

 

 

 

 Charlie slid into his chair, giving Beth's a belated jerk out from the table as she entered the room. Following grace, Anne shared her good news with them.

 

 

 

 "Right after breakfast, you can see your Pa ," she told them beaming. They exchanged apprehensive smiles.

 

 

 

 "Does---does he remember us now ?" Beth asked with hesitation.

 

 

 

 Anne tilted her head to one side. "Maybe not yet ," she admitted. "But he's trying so hard to. If you'll give him a chance to start all over again, it will make his  adjustment back into the family that much easier for him."

 

 

 

 Both children nodded. "We will, Ma ," they chorused in unison.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled. "I know you will ," she said proudly. "Now eat your breakfast---your Pa has been waiting to see you for a couple of hours already !"

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Alone in his room, Adam waited impatiently. He felt torn between two emotions. On one hand, he desperately wanted to remember his children as Anne did---the  birthdays, fun times together, and the hurts he was sure he'd helped to mend. On the other hand, since he didn't remember, he fervently hoped they'd accept him as  he was now and let him start anew as Anne was willing to do. He closed his eyes and prayed for the latter---at least for now.

 

 

 

 He thought, as he often did now, of Anne and her love for him. His heart grew warm in response and his throat tightened. "You'll never regret sticking by me,  Anne," he whispered, "I'll see to it."

 

 

 

 The door swung silently open, and Adam took a deep breath. He squared his shoulders and waited. Anne entered first, baby Andy cooing contentedly in her arms.  Charlie and Beth crept quietly in behind her, their eyes wide and expressive.

 

 

 

 "Hi, Anne---- Charlie, Beth ," he greeted them gently, his warm smile only growing as he looked at them. Beth ran to him.

 

 

 

 "Hi, Pa !" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck. Adam returned her hug.

 

 

 

 "How's my big girl ?" he asked, hoping that was something he would've said before.

 

 

 

 Her dimples won his heart all over again. "I'm just fine, Pa. I've missed you sooo much !"

 

 

 

 Adam gently tweaked her nose. "I've missed you, too, Sweetheart ," he said softly.

 

 

 

 Charlie advanced more slowly. Adam smiled disarmingly and pulled the chair over. "How are you, Son ?"

 

 

 

 The boy's lower lip quivered and he glanced around. Anne motioned to Beth and together they left the two alone. Charlie closed his eyes but not before two big  tears squeezed through. He shook his head.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Pa ," he whispered in anguish. "I'm so sorry! Can you ever forgive me ?"

 

 

 

 Adam pulled Charlie close and held him while the sobs tore at his slender frame. He allowed him to express the pent up grief, and as the sobs began to subside,  handed him a handkerchief.

 

 

 

 "You know, Son, I don't remember what you're talking about, so if you don't want to tell me, I'll never know the difference." He eyed the youngster with  compassion. "But if it will make you feel better, I'm ready to listen."

 

 

 

 Charlie gulped a couple of times before trusting himself to reply. "I'm the reason you're hurt----and---and can't remember anything ," he blurted out, burying his  face in his hands.

 

 

 

 Adam frowned. "Whoa now! I guess you'd better explain !" his voice was kind, inviting the young boy to vocalize his inner pain.

 

 

 

 Charlie took a deep breath, not lifting his head. Slowly he outlined the target practice that was supposed to be fun and the accident that followed. Adam listened  carefully, wisely letting him finish before weighing in. When his son had come to the end of his account, Adam spoke.

 

 

 

 "Charlie, look at me."

 

 

 

 Reluctantly, Charlie met his father's clear, steady gaze. It held no blame or frustration, only love and understanding. "Son ," Adam continued, "I do remember the  snake, but that's all. Do you know what I wish I could remember ?"

 

 

 

 Charlie shook his head, and Adam smiled. "I'd give anything to remember target practicing with you. I know we must've have fun before the accident, didn't we ?"

 

 

 

 The boy swallowed hard, nodding. "Oh, Pa---!" a tear trickled down his tanned cheek. Adam pulled him close in a bear hug.

 

 

 

 "Shh, it's alright, Son. I want you to stop blaming yourself and help me get to know you all over again. Can you do that ?" Charlie nodded and managed a wobbly  smile.. He faced his father, squared his shoulders, and wiped the tears away.

 

 

 

 Adam grinned. "Let's start with your name. Is Charlie your first name ?"

 

 

 

 Charlie shook his head. "No, my second. It's Adam Charles."

 

 

 

 Adam frowned thoughtfully, leaning back against the pillows. "Adam Charles," he repeated in awe. "Your mother named you---I was afraid she wasn't going to  make it----." He turned to Charlie. "Son, will you call your mother for me? Please ?"

 

 

 

 Charlie left the room, and soon Anne appeared with Andy still in her arms. She transferred the baby to his father and took a seat beside him.

 

 

 

 "Anne ," he said excitedly, "I remember when Charlie was born! I was afraid---afraid that you wouldn't make it ," he closed his eyes, trying to put the pieces  together. "The doctor wouldn't give me any facts about how you really were. It wasn't this doctor though , was it ?" He looked up as Anne slowly sat down beside  him, a smile on her face.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Adam !" she whispered. "It's coming back to you! Yes, you were worried that I might die, because your own mother had when you were born. And, no, it  wasn't Doc Martin. We lived in England at the time."

 

 

 

 "England ?" Adam groaned. "Oh, Anne---there's still so much---!! Will I ever----?"

 

 

 

 Anne stopped his words with a finger to his lips again. "You're already getting it back, Darling." She leaned forward, and ordered gently, "Relax about your  memory."

 

 

 

 He nodded obediently. "If you say so, Anne."

 

 

 

 Laying the baby in his lap, Anne wrapped her arms around him and kissed him tenderly. "You don't know how thankful I am to have you back !" she whispered,  squeezing him tight.

 

 

 

 Adam smiled into her eyes. "Thank you, Sweetheart, for not getting discouraged---even now." His arms tightened around her, "If I'm ever completely myself again,  it will be because the Lord willed it----and you wouldn't give up." He kissed her affectionately, holding her close.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 "Doc ," Adam said with confidence that evening, "I've got a family to take care of. When can you put me in a cast and fit me with a pair of crutches ?"

 

 

 

 Doc looked up with a pleased smile. "Well, Adam! You're making wonderful progress! Anne's told me how much better you're doing. Frankly, I think you've done  her as much good as she has you !"

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "I hope so, Doc. When I found out that she was my wife, the important questions I had were answered. I'm a totally different man because of her !"

 

 

 

 "Most men think that---if they've married a good woman," Doc said, smiling. "Let's see if that leg is ready for a cast, shall we ?"

 

 

 

 His leg had set well, and Doc promised to bring the necessary supplies for the cast the following evening. He sat and talked to Adam for a few minutes, then  reached for his bag.

 

 

 

 "Adam, the sign of a successful doctor is that the more he helps his patient, the less he needs him! I think you need Anne more than you do me, so I'll be heading  back to Virginia City. Good night."

 

 

 

 "Good night, Doc. Thanks for everything." Adam smiled appreciatively.

 

 

 

 Doc nodded and stepped into the kitchen on his way out. He found Anne fixing an attractive tray of cookies and milk; three glasses sat on the sideboard.

 

 

 

 "Anne ," he said quietly. "I won't be staying. Adam is doing very well---but he's looking for you to come up soon. He'll enjoy what you have there." He paused,  acquiring Anne's undivided attention. "I'm proud of you, Anne. I really am." He turned quickly and left the room, but not before Anne saw tears moistening his eyes.

 

 

 

 She followed him to the door, handing him a small bag of cookies. "I can't thank you enough, Doc. Your lectures helped me to see where I was letting Adam  down. Thank you."

 

 

 

 Doc smiled and squeezed her hand. "It's why I'm here, Anne. Good night---and thanks for the cookies!"

 

 

 

 Anne finished her tray and carried it to Adam's room quickly. His eyes lit up, a broad smile enhancing his handsome face.

 

 

 

 "Anne, just the sight of you does wonders for my heart !" he exclaimed. "Can you stay a while ?"

 

 

 

 She nodded, setting the tray down and surrendering to his warm embrace. "I've missed you, Anne," he said with feeling. "I love you very much."

 

 

 

 Anne whispered her reply, their lips meeting in a lingering kiss of passion and deep love.

 

 

 

 "Anne ," he said gently, lifting her chin to look him in the eye, "Since I know who you are now, will you stay with me tonight ?"

 

 

 

 A lovely smile lifted the corners of her mouth. Lovingly caressing his cheek, Anne shook her head slightly. "Oh, Adam, I thought you'd never ask!"

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam stood in the doorway, drinking in the lovely landscape around him as if seeing it for the first time. Anne stood beside him, her arm about his waist, her eyes  on his face. He leaned slightly on the sturdy crutches, and lightly rested his injured leg.

 

 

 

 "This is really a beautiful place ," he observed quietly. "I'm glad we can share it together, Anne."

 

 

 

 Anne's dimples flashed. "So am I, Adam Darling ," she replied leaning her head against his shoulder.

 

 

 

 Beth skipped into the room and caught her mother's hand. "Ma, when will Charlie get home from school ?"

 

 

 

 Anne consulted the Grandfather clock. "He has another hour, Honey. Then Grandpa will pick him up and bring him home." She smiled at the impatient little girl. "It's  lonely without Charlie, isn't it ?"

 

 

 

 Beth nodded. "Stripey wants to sleep now, just like Andy. I don't have anyone to play with." She motioned towards her large gray striped cat, contentedly sleeping  on the rug in front of the fireplace.

 

 

 

 "Would you like to make a batch of cookies for Charlie ?" Anne asked.

 

 

 

 Beth's eyes lit up. "Oh, could I , Ma? I'd love to !" Anne nodded and giving Adam a quick kiss, allowed her little girl to pull her towards the kitchen.

 

 

 

 Adam heard them laughing and talking as they worked and smiled to himself. "What a wealthy man I am with a family like this !" he thought to himself. "Thank  you, Lord."

 

 

 

 He limped over to the desk and took a seat, scanning a couple of papers dealing with the purchase of several hundred beef. He raised his eyebrows, noting his own  signature and shrugged. Laying them aside, he opened a drawer, feeling inside. Adam withdrew a small hardbound book and examined it carefully. Out of curiosity,  he opened it, the pages falling open to a single entry of some days before. It began, "My Darling Adam," He read the brief message, tears filling his eyes at the grief  Anne was suffering when she penned it. He replaced the volume, mentally noting to mention it to her and let her know he fully appreciated and loved her.

 

 

 

 "Mr. Cartwright ?"

 

 

 

 Adam looked up, brushing his hand across his eyes. He stood briskly and made his way to the door, almost running into a stocky cowboy who was just about to  enter.

 

 

 

 "Yes ," Adam replied, frantically trying to place this unfamiliar person in his mind. "What can I do for you ?"

 

 

 

 With a mocking smile, the man drawled, "Well, Mr. Cartwright, me and some of the boys heard tell how ya lost yer mem'ry. That ya caint remember nuthin', nuthin'  at tall. I jest wanted ta come and see fer myself."

 

 

 

 Adam's brow lowered, but he remained silent.

 

 

 

 "Didja ferget how ta talk, too?" the man sneered.

 

 

 

 A slender form entered the room like a shadow, slipping past Adam, and Anne placed herself between the two men.

 

 

 

 "Pete, I've had it with your rude and hateful attitude ," she said with spirit. "Pack your bags and collect your pay; I'll have it ready in 10 minutes."

 

 

 

 "But Mrs. Cartwright, I'm yer foreman! I didn't mean no harm---I was jest havin' some fun---!"

 

 

 

 "You were our foreman----you're fired now. As far as fun----I can do without your kind on this ranch. Now go."

 

 

 

 "You'll regret---!" he began menacingly, but Anne cut in,

 

 

 

 "We'll risk it, Pete." She lifted her hand and pointed toward the bunkhouse. "Get your things, NOW." Though outwardly calm, Anne trembled inside. Her voice did  not waver, and Pete knew she meant it. He also noticed her reach for Adam's hand, but thought she was going for his gun. He backed away.

 

 

 

 "Okay, okay !! I'm leaving---j-j-just don't shoot!"

 

 

 

 Anne took a deep breath as he disappeared inside the bunkhouse. "Oh, Adam, do you think I did right ?"

 

 

 

 His eyes were full of admiration. "Right ?" he questioned gently. "Anne, I'm so proud of you! I can't remember Pere and couldn't place him to save my life. Thank  you for defending me. As far as firing him---you did great, Honey !" He looked down into her dark eyes and smiled. "You're a wise woman, Darling," he  murmured, " and I'm a blest man to have you as my wife."

 

 

 

 Anne buried her face against his chest, feeling the tension ebb away. It felt good to know she'd made Adam proud of her. He gave Anne another smile and a gentle  squeeze.

 

 

 

 "I love you, Anne ," he whispered.

 

 

 

 Anne lifted her eyes to meet his. "Oh, Adam! I love you, too !" He bent to kiss her, but straightened quickly at the sound of Pete returning for his pay. Anne flew to  the desk and quickly counted out the $40, handing it to him with a solemn goodbye. She slipped a small testament into his hand.

 

 

 

 "Read it , Pete ," she said earnestly. "If you meet the Man in these pages, He'll change your life forever."

 

 

 

 Pete scowled, but put it in his pocket. Without a word, he mounted his horse and galloped away.

 

 

 

 Adam expertly maneuvered over to the couch, pulling Anne down beside him and into his arms. Words could not convey the love he felt, but he tried anyway.

 

 

 

 Beth peeked around the corner and glimpsed her parents. A little smile crossed her face as she sauntered back to the kitchen to read through the cookie recipes  again.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Summer heat had given way to early fall rains, refreshing the parched, thirsty earth. Adam opened the barn door, reveling in the beauty of an arching rainbow. One  glance toward the house, and he saw that Anne was also admiring the rainbow. She waved at him and wrapping her shawl closer about her, soon joined him at the  barn. They stood hand in hand drinking in the brilliant colors and the handiwork of their Creator.

 

 

 

 "It's just glorious, isn't it ?" Anne breathed.

 

 

 

 Adam nodded. "Yes, Anne, it's wonderful." He turned her to face him, wrapping his arms securely around her. Anne snuggled close as Adam bent his head and  kissed her.

 

 

 

 There was much that he had remembered with the passing of time. At times, whole events fell into place, but lately, he'd struggled with discouragement that his  progress had come to a halt. Anne reminded him frequently that he'd already recalled so much of the past years they'd shared and a good portion of his childhood  memories, but it troubled him that he still couldn't remember meeting her or anything about their first year together.

 

 

 

 It was on his mind again, and he sighed as his arms tightened around Anne. He opened his mouth to say something about it, but closed it instead knowing Anne's  reaction. Anne sensed his mood.

 

 

 

 "Adam ," she said lovingly, "Have I ever told you that I feel so at home in your arms ?"

 

 

 

 He smiled, his mood changing completely. "Yes, Darling, you have ," he replied, releasing her slightly. "And I love to hold you close to my heart." Their eyes met  and suddenly Adam stepped back, taking her hand gently. Anne half smiled, puzzled by his action, but followed him to a hay bale near the harnesses. Adam spread  his jacket over the hay and seated her, propping one foot on it as he faced her. The cast had been removed a couple of weeks prior, restoring his mobility.

 

 

 

 "Anne ," he said softly, taking her hand in both of his. "Will you marry me----again ?"

 

 

 

 Anne's lips parted and a lovely smile spread across her face. "Oh, Adam !" she whispered. "Yes! Oh, yes, I will"

 

 

 

 Adam leaned towards her and taking her face in his strong hands, kissed her gently. "I can't remember our first wedding, Anne, but I won't forget this one !" His  eyes glistened with tears as he hugged her close.

 

 

 

 Anne stood up slowly within the circle of his arms and embraced him. "Adam, you are the most wonderful man in the world ," she said softly. "I'd marry you again if  for no other reason than for you to have that memory."

 

 

 

 His lips sought hers once more, sharing with her the deep love that quickened his pulse and gave him cause to catch his breath at the sight of her. She returned his  kiss with equal passion, realizing for the hundredth time the wonder of being one with the man of her dreams. To marry him a second time would only make their  union stronger---and do Adam a world of good.

 

 

 

 "When do you think would be a good date for our wedding ?" Adam murmured against her hair.

 

 

 

 Anne thought quickly, naming the exact date of their anniversary that dated back to the wedding Adam no longer recalled. It would be fitting to renew their vows  on that special occasion.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Charlie came home from school to find Beth playing wedding with her dolls. He had convinced his Grandpa to stop in for a glass of lemonade and listened with  amazement as he overheard Beth explaining to Ben that her parents were getting married! Ben shook his head, but smiled. Surely there must be some mix-up!

 

 

 

 He found Adam out in the barn, mending a broken harness.

 

 

 

 "Hi, Pa ," Adam greeted him cheerfully.

 

 

 

 Ben took a seat across from him and held the strap taut while Adam expertly stitched it. "Hello, Son ," he replied, wondering if he should simply ask out right, but  Adam beat him to it.

 

 

 

 "Have you heard the news yet? Anne and I are getting married again !"

 

 

 

 Ben nodded. "The children told me ," he said with a smile. "I wasn't sure if they knew what they were talking about, though !"

 

 

 

 Adam grinned. "Since I can't remember our first wedding, I asked Anne if she'd marry me a second time. I know it probably seems a bit strange to you----."

 

 

 

 "Nonsense ," Ben interrupted. "I think it's a wonderful idea! Where will you have the ceremony this time ?"

 

 

 

 Adam glanced up at him. There were still so many things to remember about his father, himself---everything. "This time? Where did we have the first one ?" he  asked.

 

 

 

 Ben smiled. "I'm sorry, Adam---it was at the Ponderosa. You and Anne wanted it that way."

 

 

 

 "I'll ask Anne, but I think we might want to have it at the church." Adam went to work on another torn strap, and Ben watched him clean it before mending it.  Adam always seemed to have a knack for doing things the correct way. Ben felt proud of him, nodding in agreement with his son's words.

 

 

 

 "A church wedding would be beautiful ," he replied.

 

 

 

 Ben didn't stay much longer. He was too eager to spread the news to the rest of his family and Candy. Some exciting days lay ahead!

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Charlie found learning most enjoyable, absorbing everything like a sponge, then sharing it with his parents at home. Adam took a deep interest in his lessons and  every evening after supper, they went over the assignments together. Charlie immersed himself in his studies, pleased that his father worked so closely with him.  Beth was always his shadow, soaking up the lessons herself and longing for the day she would accompany Charlie to school.

 

 

 

 Anne watched as she rocked Andy or knitted. Many things were gradually fitting into place, and working with Charlie was a part of it. Several times, Adam would  begin reading from Charlie's book, only to leave off reading and begin describing it from either memory or experience. Charlie was impressed, and often wished his  father was his school teacher. Slowly, the knowledge that Adam had acquired over the course of many years began to return, enabling him to feel more prepared to  face the world---and his wedding day.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Joe shook Adam's hand vigorously. "I'm so glad for you, Adam!" he exclaimed. "It's not often a guy has the opportunity to marry the same gal twice! But then you  and Anne just hit it off right from the start---the rest of us just naturally knew we didn't have a chance at all."

 

 

 

 Adam smiled. "I'd give alot to say I knew what you were talking about, Joe ," he said wistfully. "That's the reason I asked Anne if she'd marry me again. I want to  remember it for good this time."

 

 

 

 Joe nodded sympathetically, but his mood was too lighthearted to stay melancholy for long. He was helping Adam move cattle from one pasture to another that  afternoon, and looked up as Anne brought out their lunches.

 

 

 

 "Congratulations, Anne ," he said, rising to his feet and taking her hand. "You couldn't have found a better man either time."

 

 

 

 Anne's eyes twinkled. "I believe you've changed your tune, Joe ," she teased. "I remember you used to say grudgingly that I could've done worse !"

 

 

 

 He grinned. "Shh! You don't want Adam to remember that about me, do you ?"

 

 

 

 She shook her head laughing, and turned to Adam, wrapping her arms around him. Joe glanced away, smiling to himself. His own Annabelle waited at home for  him.

 

 

 

 As he and Adam worked with the cattle, their conversation maintained a lighthearted banter to it. Filling their canteens at a clear mountain stream, Adam remarked,

 

 

 

 "You know, I'll bet we were good friends when we were growing up."

 

 

 

 Joe raised his eyebrows. "You really have forgotten, Adam! I wish we had been, but I was always 12 years younger than you---and you often thought of me just  your pesky little brother. We fought alot."

 

 

 

 Adam put his hand to his chin and shook his head. "That's too bad, Joe. What did we fight over? Surely not girls !"

 

 

 

 Joe laughed. "Hardly! You were more mature and liked to boss me around. Pa left you in charge a good bit because you were older and wiser, and I resented it. I  was the baby of the family and very determined about having my own way, too. We managed to clash every time Pa turned his back---and sometimes when he  didn't, too! Hoss was usually our mediator."

 

 

 

 "Hoss? " Adam queried. "Who was he ?"

 

 

 

 Joe swallowed his surprise. "Hoss was our middle brother. Six years younger than you, and the same amount older than me. He understood us both and went out  of his way to make things more peaceable." Joe hesitated. "Hoss died from sudden heart failure a few years ago."

 

 

 

 Adam sighed. "I see. He must've been really special. I wish we'd gotten along better, Joe. I'm sorry I didn't try harder."

 

 

 

 Tears stung Joe's eyes and he was glad for the excuse to watch a crow land in an old nest close by. "It's okay, Adam. " he replied, his voice revealing the emotion  he felt. "We had our reasons back then, but we're both men now, and things have changed for us. You've helped me deal with things when I didn't know what to  do. I'm really glad you and Anne moved back to the Ponderosa."

 

 

 

 It was quite a speech and Adam smiled fondly at the younger brother he was becoming acquainted with all over again. "So am I ," he affirmed. He squinted up at  the sky and glanced at Joe. "Shall we get the cattle moving again?" Joe nodded in agreement.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne poured cups of coffee for Adam, Candy, Karyn, and herself. The children played together in the great room, and the adults took advantage of a little peace  and quiet in the dining room.

 

 

 

 Candy couldn't shake the sadness that filled his heart at the change he saw in Adam. Karyn had told him about the loss of memory just before he left for a trip to  San Francisco, but to see how it had affected everything was still a shock to Candy. When Karyn had introduced him to Adam as though they'd never met  before---! He glanced at Anne, noting her adoring look at Adam. They were discussing the wedding---though for the moment, Candy was only listening.

 

 

 

 Adam turned to Candy. "I know I was there, Candy ," he said with a smile, "But right now, I don't recall anything about Anne's and my wedding. I wanted to have  those memories, and asked Anne to marry me the second time. Thankfully, she said "Yes" this time, too !"

 

 

 

 Candy laughed. Adam was obviously dealing with things remarkably well. "I remember your wedding, Adam ," he replied. "I must say that I'm not surprised you  don't." he paused for significance. "You spent too much time looking at Anne to remember anything else !"

 

 

 

 Adam shook his head, his smile only growing and curled his fingers around Anne's.

 

 

 

 Karyn leaned forward. "Anne, will you be wearing the dress you wore to your first wedding ?"

 

 

 

 Anne arched her eyebrows. "If it still fits ," she replied sagely.

 

 

 

 "Let's go see if it does !" Karyn exclaimed jumping to her feet and catching Anne's hand. They ran like young girls up the steps and a door closed behind them with  a resounding thud.

 

 

 

 Adam grinned at Candy. "You'd think I was just a school boy again, the way I feel about Anne."

 

 

 

 Candy shrugged, also smiling. "It's not as strange as you think, Adam. Karyn's really special to me, too. If the situation called for it, I'd marry her all over again !"

 

 

 

 Adam nodded and sipped his coffee thoughtfully.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne shook out the wrinkles and unbuttoned the tiny buttons up the back. She smiled over at Karyn.

 

 

 

 "You'll have to button me up, Karyn. These buttons----! I don't know how I managed before with a houseful of men and no one to help me !"

 

 

 

 Karyn's laugh was infectious. "I'd love to help you, Anne. This is so exciting !!"

 

 

 

 Anne nodded, her cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling. She slipped the dress over her head and turned around for Karyn's assistance. Finally the tiny buttons were  all fastened, and Anne glided over to the mirror.

 

 

 

 "Oh, Anne !" Karyn exclaimed. "You look so beautiful !"

 

 

 

 Anne smiled at her friend. "It still fits," she remarked with satisfaction. She smoothed the exquisite lace and pearl beading surrounding the sweetheart neckline.  "Adam liked it before."

 

 

 

 "He'll love it now !" Karyn said in awe. "Did you make it ?"

 

 

 

 Anne shook her head. "No, it was my mother's wedding dress. Her mother had it made in Boston." She lifted the veil from the box and handed it to Karyn. "We  may as well try the veil, too."

 

 

 

 Karyn clipped it in place and stood back to admire Anne. "Everything is perfect !" she whispered. "If there's anything I can do to help you on or before your  wedding, just let me know."

 

 

 

 "Thank you, Karyn. I know there will be. Here---" she pulled her hair around to the front, "Will you help me get changed again? Our men will be getting impatient  waiting for us !"

 

 

 

 Minutes later, they joined Adam and Candy at the table. Adam raised his eyebrows at Anne.

 

 

 

 "Well? Did everything fit ?" a teasing smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

 

 

 

 Anne's smile disarmed him instantly. "Better than I expected ," she replied honestly. "After three children, I had my doubts."

 

 

 

 Karyn added her praise, promising to stay in touch with Anne as she and Candy made their way to collect little Michael.

 

 

 

 Once alone, Adam pulled Anne into a warm embrace, crushing her to him. "I can hardly wait, Darling," he whispered. "I'm sure you looked very beautiful in your  dress."

 

 

 

 "You thought I did before ," Anne countered. "It's a beautiful dress."

 

 

 

 "And the most beautiful woman who'll wear it ," Adam replied, claiming her lips with a gentle kiss. "Two weeks from now----!"

 

 

 

 "Ummm," Anne murmured contentedly, snuggling closer. There was still so much to plan, but for now, that could wait.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Anne telegraphed her friends Luke and Mollie Peterson in Boston, informing them of hers and Adam's wedding. She detailed in brief terms the accident that  temporarily removed his memory. A few days later, a wistful reply came for her---they would so love to be there for the wedding, but Luke was gravely ill and not  expected to make it through Thanksgiving. Both sent their love, knowing Anne would understand.

 

 

 

 She read the message, wiping away tears of sadness. Closing her eyes, she pictured the strong, gentle Luke who had been such a tower of strength to her after her  father passed away. The next time they met, it would be around the throne of God. Anne quickly sent a message of love and encouragement to them, and continued  with her wedding preparations.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 It was the evening before the wedding. Anne awoke in the middle of the night to find Adam standing at the window, looking out at the stars. Wrapping a robe  securely about her, she joined him there, slipping her arm around his waist.

 

 

 

 "Adam, are you too excited to sleep ?" she asked sweetly.

 

 

 

 He smiled down at her and pulled her close. "Yes, I am ," he admitted, taking a deep breath. "It all feels so new and wonderful to me. I slept a little, but not much."

 

 

 

 Anne fingered his shirt collar absentmindedly, lifting her eyes to meet his. "Tomorrow will be a very special day, Darling, but right now is special, too. To be in the  arms of the man I love more than anything fills me with an incredible sense of wonder that will rival my joy at our wedding. " She pulled his face down to hers and  kissed him lovingly, an abiding peace and contentment filling her heart.

 

 

 

 Adam's eyes shone with love. "Oh, Anne ," he whispered, "Can it get any better than this ?"

 

 

 

 Her smile was tender and sweet.. "It already has, Darling."

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Morning sunlight filtered lazily through the tall Ponderosa pines, catching a spider's web by surprise and splitting the dew drops into so many prisms of color.  Songbirds outside the window swelled into the melody of angelic choirs, waking Adam and his bride from peaceful slumber. He raised up on one elbow and smiled  down at her.

 

 

 

 "I know I'm not supposed to see you before the wedding, but I'm glad you don't have a choice ," he said with a teasing glint in his eyes.

 

 

 

 Anne looked up drowsily. "Silly, that's in my wedding dress. And I do have a choice there !"

 

 

 

 He slipped his arm under her neck lifting her gently and looked into her eyes. "Anne, you don't know how much it means to me that you would agree to marry me a  second time. These past two weeks have been the happiest I can remember, as though we were just young sweethearts." His voice reflected heartfelt appreciation.  "Thank you, Darling."

 

 

 

 Anne no longer felt sleepy. "Oh, Adam, I'm so glad you asked me. Planning for our wedding, seeing the light in your eyes, even arranging for a brief honeymoon in  the mountains----it's all been very special. Falling in love with you a second time has been the most wonderful of all." She traced the outline of his jaw lightly. "I love  you, Adam."

 

 

 

 Magically, magnetically their lips met in a tender, lingering kiss. Anne sighed, resting her head against his chest, as Adam glanced down at her.

 

 

 

 "We have a wedding to get ready for, my Girl. If we don't hurry, we'll soon wish we had !"

 

 

 

 Anne smiled up at him, curling her fingers around his. "You're right, Darling. Mrs. Stewart said I could change into my dress in her shop. She'll be expecting me  before too long." She started to rise, but Adam's arms tightened around her, pulling her to him.

 

 

 

 "I love you, Anne ," he whispered, kissing her cheek tenderly.

 

 

 

 Her eyes misted over with tears of joy. "Oh, Adam---you're so sweet! I love you, too." With a gentle squeeze of his hands, she rose and began to prepare for the  special occasion. It couldn't hold anymore happiness than she felt at the moment, but her hopes centered around Adam. It was for him---his desire to have  something tangible to hold onto with respects to their marriage. She watched him button his dress shirt and smiled, stepping closer to help him with his tie.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Charlie and Beth were too excited to sit still. They were closeted with Ben and Marilynne, waiting for Anne to arrive and the wedding to begin. Charlie fingered the  rings on an exquisite little pillow Anne had made. Beth shifted her large white basket filled with soft yellow and white rose petals, breathing in their delicate  fragrance. She smiled with excitement at her Grandma.

 

 

 

 "This is so much fun!" she whispered. "When will Ma get here ?"

 

 

 

 MArilynne peeked out the small window. "Here she comes, Beth !" she replied, stepping quickly to the door and swinging it open. Karyn and Annabelle sheltered  her from view as she slipped into the room, closing the door behind her.

 

 

 

 Charlie's eyes widened and he and Beth stared in awe. "Oh, Ma !" he whispered. "You look so beautiful !!!" Beth nodded speechless.

 

 

 

 Anne smiled radiantly. "Thank you, Children ," she answered, a slight tremble to her voice. She turned to Marilynne. "You wouldn't think I'd be nervous, but I can't  help it! What will Adam think ?"

 

 

 

 "What will he think ?"Marilynne repeated. "That your the most beautiful bride he's ever seen! He'll be so proud of you !"

 

 

 

 Ben handed little Andrew to his wife and gave Anne a hug. "She's right ," he said, his voice low and husky. "You've never looked prettier, Anne."

 

 

 

 Joe knocked at the door. "They're almost ready ," he whispered loudly, and left the door slightly ajar.

 

 

 

 Anne took a deep breath and squeezed Ben's arm. "I'm ready, too ," she said with quiet confidence.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam glanced sideways at Reverend Gregory and paced to the door. He listened carefully, turning to face the minister again.

 

 

 

 "You probably think I'm being silly---nervous and agitated at my second wedding, but there's still so much I wish I could remember that I think would help me now.  I've tried to give myself time and not be too anxious, but---."

 

 

 

 Reverend Gregory laid his hand on Adam's shoulder and smiled reassuringly. "Adam, for today, forget what you don't remember---Anne isn't troubled by it. This is  your day----yours and Anne's. Enjoy it."

 

 

 

 Adam nodded, taking a deep breath. "Thanks, Reverend. I'll do that." He gripped his hands together, closing his eyes for a brief instant and whispering a silent  prayer.

 

 

 

 Reverend Gregory eyed him kindly. "Anne will be so proud of you, Adam. She loves you, you know."

 

 

 

 Adam relaxed visibly and smiled. "I know, Reverend, and I love her, too. She's a wonderful woman. I---."

 

 

 

 The organ reached a particular place in the music, and Reverend Gregory clapped him on the shoulder. "That's our sign, Adam. Are you ready ?"

 

 

 

 Adam lifted his chin and smiled, his eyes reflecting a calm, inner peace. "I'm ready, Reverend." Together they walked the short distance to the front of the church,  taking their places as the organist continued to play the selections Anne had requested.

 

 

 

 Charlie and Beth walked together, Beth scattering petals as she made her way to the altar. She smiled sweetly at her father and was rewarded by his beaming  smile. Her dainty chiffon yellow dress with pointed white lace trim bore Anne's handiwork. Beth felt like a little lady in it and stood proudly beside her brother in his  fine, dark suit.

 

 

 

 At the first strains of the wedding march, the whole congregation stood as one. Ben stepped to the threshold and glanced down at Anne. Her eyes met Adam's and  never wavered. A lovely smile lit her face, illuminating her delicate features. Adam was captivated, answering her smile with one of his own as his eyes took in her  beautiful dress and the aura of radiance surrounding her.

 

 

 

 It was while she approached him that Adam began to see another scene in his mind. He took a deep breath, shaking his head a little, but the double vision  continued. He could see Anne now, but suddenly he saw her also descending a staircase, her dress and smile the very same. Joe was there, and---tears blurred his  vision---Hoss was there, too. Reverend Gregory, Candy, Hop Sing, his father, ranch hands and friends----. Adam swallowed hard. Faces before him suddenly  became those of friends, not unfamiliar acquaintances. As Anne reached his side, he pulled her into his arms, tears clinging to his lashes.

 

 

 

 " Anne, I remember everything now! Our first wedding, Hoss, Joe, everyone! Oh, Anne!" his voice quivered and he held her close.

 

 

 

 Anne squeezed him tight, her own tears falling. "Adam, I'm so happy for you---for us! I knew it would all come back to you sometime!!" She withdrew gently. "Do  you still want to go through with the wedding?"

 

 

 

 Adam chuckled softly, clearing his throat. "I sure do, Anne. I'm not leaving my bride at the altar!" he replied. Ben smiled, gripping his arm and took his seat beside  Marilynne.

 

 

 

 Reverend Gregory opened his minister's book and began, "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of God and this congregation to join this man and  this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony----."

 

 

 

 Charlie thoroughly enjoyed his role as ring bearer, proudly handing over the rings at the proper time. He wasn't sure what had happened to his father, but the  indelible smile on his face indicated something good. He grinned at Beth and concentrated on the remainder of his parent's wedding ceremony.

 

 

 

 Reverend Gregory closed the book, repeating from memory, "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. Adam, you may kiss your bride."

 

 

 

 Adam faced his bride, reverently taking her in his arms. He bent his head, capturing her lips with his as he crushed her to him. Their embrace, tender and sweet,  brought tears to Ben's eyes. They had so many memories behind them, yet so many ahead, too. He squeezed Marilynne's hand, brushing the tears away and smiled  with pride.

 

 

 

 * * * *

 

 

 

 Adam lifted Anne in his arms, carrying her over the threshold of their small honeymoon cabin. A couple of days away was all they'd felt was appropriate to take off  with the children and responsibilities at the ranch, but those two days were very special.

 

 

 

 A crackling fire in the stone fireplace welcomed them, as a bevy of songbirds outside the window whistled their own selections for the happy occasion. Fading  sunlight highlighted Anne's dark hair as Adam sank into a large overstuffed chair, still holding her in his arms. He held her close, breathing in the fragrance of her  perfume and whispering his love.

 

 

 

 Anne tipped her head back and looked up into his face, an overwhelming love sweeping through her. Tracing his lips and jaw gently with her fingers, she leaned  toward him until their lips met in a passionate, lingering kiss. She laid her head against his chest and squeezed his shoulder lovingly, sighing deeply.

 

 

 

 Adam smiled down at her, a tender light in his dark brown eyes. "I love you, Anne---perhaps more than I ever have before. You're very precious to me."

 

 

 

 "Adam," she replied softly, "When I thought you might never remember me, I felt so frightened and alone. Now---I feel so loved and cherished. I love you, too."

 

 

 

 He hugged her closer to him. "You're wonderful, Darling. Our marriage is for keeps---till death do us part."

 

 

 

 Their eyes met as he unfastened the string of pearls around her neck, laying them on a small table. He rose to his feet slowly, setting her down and lifting her chin  gently. "Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world."

 

 

 

 Anne smiled tenderly. "God's been very good to both of us, Sweetheart. I've never been happier, either." She untied his tie, slowly unbuttoning a couple of his shirt  buttons, her eyes never leaving his.

 

 

 

 The shadows continued to gather as light faded into dusk. A silvery moon rose majestically over the pine grove, illuminating the dewy needles and casting a lovely  sheen over the quiet stream flowing nearby. Magical moments filled the air, giving the night a feeling of having been orchestrated by Someone far greater than mere  man. By Him Whose pleasure it is to join two hearts into one, thus blending two lives into a Masterpiece of His design.

 

 

 

 

 

 Authors Note: While most of the characters and locations are derived from NBC's popular Western Bonanza (1959-1973) created by David Dortort, the story  penned here is purely my own personal work. It has not been my intention to detract in any way from the original intent of the show's producers.

 

 

 

 Rachel Anderson

 

 

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