For Celia

By

Janice Sagraves

 

This is for Colleen who, with a gentle nudge, helped me stay on track with my research.  Thanks.

 

ONE

 

Adam Cartwright stepped to the calendar hanging from a nail by the open barn door and tore off the page for that day.  It was the twenty-seventh of September and it held special significance for him.  Penciled into the corner were the initials CM as a reminder, though they were unnecessary.  As long as he lived he could never forget what they stood for.  His brothers had seen him put them there and more than once had asked him what they were for.  But he’d always simply grinned fondly and told them he might tell them some day.  Pa had never questioned, but he’d seen it in the coffee brown eyes. 

 

It had been a year and now it was time to return to where it had all started and set things straight once and for all.  It was time to go back to Gordon’s Junction; time to go back for Celia Munroe.

 

*******

 

Sheriff Ham Tyler was at his desk going through his wanted posters, something he tried to do once every month, when he finally got around to it.  But most of the time it turned out to be every three or four, sometimes more.  Not that he hated doing it so much; he just had a tendency to put it off.

 

“Dead,” he said and tossed one into the box at the side of his desk that posed as a waste basket.  “Shot down in Abilene five months ago,” and he tossed in another one.  “Alive and well and makin’ trouble,” and he slammed that one down in front of him.  “Lynched,” and still another went into the box.

 

Just then the door burst open, and his sienna eyes came around.  Out of breath and agitated about something, eleven-year-old Leroy McCrea, his wispy hair all a jumble, positioned himself in front of the desk.

 

“What is it this time, Leroy?” Ham asked, his mouth drawn down.

 

“You’ll never guess who just rode into town.”

 

“Leroy,” Ham started as his shoulders drooped, “I don’t have time for guessin’ games.  So just out and tell me.”

 

“You remember last year when that man come to town an’ stayed at the boardin’ house,” he had to catch a breath, “an’ he was ridin’ a big horse an’ you told me that if he ever come back to let you know?”  Another breath.  “Him.”

 

Ham’s broad, freckled face lit and a fond smile curved his lips.  “All right, Leroy thanks.  And you go to Henry Merchant’s and get you a sack of candy, and tell ‘im to put it on my bill.”

 

“Gee, thanks, Sheriff.”

 

Matt Payne was coming in just as the boy dashed out, nearly running over him.  “Whoa, Leroy, look out.” The corner of his mouth crooked, and he came on in.  “What was that all about?” he asked with a snicker.

 

“This might interest you,” Ham said as he smoothed back his thick red hair and put his hat on.  “Adam Cartwright just rode into town.”

 

Matt’s midnight blue eyes narrowed, and he pushed his hat back, releasing a shock of wavy, chocolate brown hair.  “You’re right, it does.  I’ve heard little else but Adam Cartwright from Celia and her mother since I started boardin’ there.  I’d just like to see what all the fuss is about.”

 

“Well, now’s your chance,” Ham said as he put his gun belt on and started out.

 

“That’s right, it is,” Matt said as he straightened his hat and polished his deputy’s badge with his sleeve then followed Ham.

 

Sport ambled up in front of the sheriff’s office and Adam reined him in.  His mouth spread into a wide toothy grin as he stepped down.  “I hope things get off to a better start this time,” he said as he wrapped the reins around the hitch rail.  “I don’t care to repeat what we went through last time.”

 

“Neither do I,” Ham said and returned the grin.  “I don’t wantta almost get punched full ‘o holes with anymore pitchforks.  And you do look a durn sight better’n you did then.  Got more color.”

 

Adam came up the steps onto the boardwalk and shook hands with him.  “Well, a lot’s happened since then, but then I don’t havta tell you that.” 

 

“Oh, Adam, I’d like you to meet Matt Payne, my new deputy for all of eight months.”

 

“New deputy,” Adam said as an eyebrow rose.  “You’re comin’ up in the world.”  He took the young man’s hand and gave it a healthy shake.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

“And you.  I’ve heard a lot about you from Ham and the ladies at the boardin’ house.”

 

“You know Mrs. Hutchins and her daughter?”

 

“Matt’s been stayin’ with ‘em since he come to town.  I recommended it to ‘im just like I done with you.”  Ham clapped a hand on his shoulder.  “Why don’t you come on in and have a cup of coffee and take the chill off.  Then you can go on up to the house.  I think you know how to find it.”

 

“That sounds good with me,” Adam said, and he started inside with Ham.  “We have a lot of catchin’ up to do.  More than we can do in one day.”

 

The look on Matt’s face was a dead giveaway if anybody had noticed.  He pushed his hat forward then followed them inside.

 

Matt was standing at the stove pouring himself a cup of coffee as he watched the sheriff and his friend in affable conversation.  He took a sip, but his eyes never left this man that he’d heard so much about.  Matt knew he was good looking, so many women had told him so, and the attention he drew from the opposite sex made him patently aware of it.  But this tall, powerfully built man made him feel inferior.  Wavy, heavy black hair, piercing dark hazel eyes, long limbed and with a mouth any woman would tell you was made for kissing.  He was dressed in black from head to foot and it only heightened the mystery and the allure of the man.  Matt took a good swig of the hot coffee and didn’t notice that he’d just burnt his tongue.

 

“Well, I better be headin’ on,” Adam said and emptied his cup and sat it on the desk.  “I need to get a room and get settled for the night.”  Both he and Ham stood, and Adam snatched up his hat and put it on.

 

“It’s been mighty good seein’ you again.  How long’re you gonna stay this time?”

 

“Haven’t really decided yet.  I guess it kinda depends on the way things work out.  But I pretty much made a promise and it’s time to live up to it.”

 

“Well, only a fool or a blind man is gonna turn away from that completely,” Ham said with a chortle.  “You tell the ladies I’ll be by for that piece of pie later like I promised.”

 

“I’ll do that,” Adam said and took the sheriff’s hand.  “It really is good being here again and seeing you, and I look forward to seeing everybody else.  After what happened last year I wasn’t sure how I’d feel.”  He shrugged into his coat and did one button.  “But that’s all behind me now, and I’m glad I came.”

 

Ham walked him to the door and went outside with him.  Matt could hear their voices through the slightly ajar door, and even the man’s rich baritone grated on him.  He slammed the cup down on the corner of the desk – sloshing its contents – and noticed that his tongue felt funny.

 

Adam led Sport up the street toward the other end of the little burgh, his saddlebags over his shoulder.  It wasn’t that much of a walk since it wasn’t that much of a town.  This part of Gordon’s Junction was the prettiest.  More trees were left standing here and it was shadier.  He looked over toward Flowers’ Livery and smiled as he remembered.

 

He stopped in front of the big white house and let his eyes take it in.  There was the swing and those four infamous steps.  He snorted and shook his head.  Tethering the reins to one of the posts, he looked around him one last time than started up onto the porch.  His boots clomped on the hardwood, and he went to the door and knocked.  It wasn’t but a very short time when it opened back and Mrs. Elvira Hutchins was before him.  Her mouth flew open, and her face beamed like the sun on a bright June day.  He held a finger to his mouth and pursed his lips.

 

Celia Munroe was at the stove stirring a bubbling pot of venison stew.  Sometimes – when they needed money – some of the men in town would go hunting and sell what they’d bagged to the restaurant or the boarding house.  This time it had been a twelve-point buck shot by Milt Rhodes, and he’d sold to both.

 

“Who is it, Mother?” she asked as she swiped at a loose strand of honey-blonde hair.  But then she froze – her hand tightening on the handle of the long wooden spoon – and cool tingles danced over her skin.  Her breath quickened, as did her heart rate, and she felt a sense of eager anticipation building, though she couldn’t explain why.  Slowly, she turned around and the spoon hit the floor.  “Adam,” she whispered.

 

“Hello, Celia.”

 

Forgetting everything else, she ran to him and threw her arms around him.  He raised her face to him and kissed her moist, tender lips, and she felt good to hold.

 

TWO

 

Adam and Celia walked down the path that ran past the house, down the embankment and into the grove of trees that could be seen from the back bedroom windows.  He still wore his coat and hat, and she had on a dark red, hooded cloak.

 

“I’ve been watching the calendar too,” she said as her arm tightened on his.  “But I guess I didn’t really expect you to come back.”

 

“I said one year, and it’s been one year, give or take a few days,” he said with an impish grin.  “I don’t generally say what I don’t mean.  Although I must admit, I wasn’t really sure myself.  But I knew we had to get this settled once and for all, and I couldn’t just leave you dangling.”

 

“So what did you decide?” she asked as they stepped into the trees.

 

“Oh, no, I was raised to believe in ladies first.  So we’ll just start with what you decided.”

 

“My big, brave Adam Cartwright.” 

 

He took her shoulders and turned her to face him, and he could read it plainly in her beautiful face.  “I see.”

 

She placed a hand gently against his cheek.  “I adore you Adam, but I don’t love you, not that way.  I thought I did at first, but you were right to put time and distance between us.  You’re an important part of my life and the dearest friend anybody could have.  I don’t like to think of having never known you, but I just don’t love you like I should for the lifelong commitment of marriage.  Adam, I’m sorry.  The last thing in the world I’d ever want to do is hurt you.”

 

“Don’t be sorry, in fact, it just makes what I have to say that much easier.”  He cupped her face in both hands and gazed deep into those spring-sky eyes.  “Celia, you’re a beautiful woman and a beautiful person.  Without you I probably wouldn’t be alive, and certainly not like I am now.  You gave me back my life simply because you refused to give up on me.  Even after I went home you were with me, but like you said, you’re the dearest friend anybody could have.  But marriage just isn’t what I see for me, although any man would be the luckiest man in the world to have you as his wife.”  She blushed, and her eyes dropped for less than a second, but long enough for him to catch it.  “Matt Payne?”

 

“Why do you say it’s him?”

 

“When I was with Ham today,” he started with a knowing smirk, “I saw the blue fire in his eyes every time you were mentioned, and they never left me.  I could feel them boring in on me, and I don’t mind telling you that it made me a little uncomfortable,” he went on, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Has he asked you to marry ‘im yet?”

 

“More than once, actually.”

 

“And you’ve turned him down?”

 

“I’ll put it that I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t exactly say no either.”

 

“Ah, the thinking of women,” he said as the light glinted in his wicked eyes.

 

“Well, I wanted to wait until you came back to see how you felt.”

 

“You mean you would’ve married me if I’d said I love you, even though you don’t feel the same?”

 

“I said the last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you.”

 

“Oh, Celia, you’re priceless,” he said with a chuckle as he put his arms around her and held her close.

 

But neither of them saw Matt Payne standing about half way down the path, those intense, dark blue eyes drawn right in on them.  Grim resolve registered in his face as he pushed his hat forward and turned and went back toward the house.

 

*******

 

Celia and her mother and their two boarders sat around the dining room table, a large tureen of the stew sitting in the center of it.

 

“I believe that’s the best venison stew I’ve ever put in my mouth,” Adam said as he ladled another substantial helping into his bowl and took another slice of bread.  “The cooking is one of the things that brought me back,” and he crooked a mischievous grin.

 

“This was a collaborative effort, like most of what’s fixed in this house.  But Celia has a special bourbon cake that is absolutely out of this world.  And the men in town will tell you that the bourbon icing is the best part.”

 

“Mother,” Celia scolded mildly.

 

“I’d like to try that,” Adam said and took a bite.  “Cake, just about any kind of cake, is my favorite dessert.”

 

But from the other end of the table very little was coming, including sounds of eating.

 

“What’s the matter, Matt, not very hungry?” Mrs. Hutchins asked with a not so innocent glance at Adam.

 

“I guess I don’t like venison stew all that well,” he grumbled around a mouthful.

 

“Well, now the last time we had it you told me how much you do like it,” Mrs. Hutchins said as her puckish gaze drilled in on him.  “Or were you just being flattering?”

 

“Maybe I do like it some, but you’re right that I’m not all that hungry tonight.”

 

“Well, maybe you can find some appetite for some dried apple pie.  Do you like dried apple pie, Adam?”

 

Adam finished chewing and swallowed before answering.  “Depends on how it’s made,” he said, and his eyes flicked sideways to the young deputy.

 

“We take honey and flour for thickening and add cinnamon and after it’s cooked put it into the crust and bake until it’s done.  And Celia makes the finest, crispest crust I’ve ever tasted.”

 

“I remember,” Adam said with a faint smile.

 

“Excuse me, Ma’am,” Matt said, “I’m really not very hungry, so if it’s all right, I’ll just go on back to the jail.  Ma’am, Celia, Mr. Cartwright.”  Then he got up and stalked out.

 

“That’s the first time I’ve seen Matt unable to eat,” Celia said with a concerned frown.  “You don’t suppose he’s coming down with something, do you?”

 

“Well, if he is we’ll know it soon enough,” Mrs. Hutchins said, her devious blue-gray eyes meeting with the equally devious dark hazel ones across the table.  “Now you should eat your stew, dear, before it gets cold.”

 

*******

 

Adam stood on the front porch – his right shoulder resting against a post – and looking out into the dark.  He hadn’t forgotten what a quiet, peaceful place Gordon’s Junction was, especially after the bustle of Virginia City at this time of night.  He was so immersed in the evening that he didn’t hear the door behind him.

 

Mrs. Hutchins came to stand next to him, but he never looked at her.  “Judging from supper, I’d say I stirred things up somewhat.”

 

“I could almost see the green in Matt Payne’s eyes,” she said.

 

“Do you suppose I should tell ‘im he has nothing to worry about?” he asked as he finally looked around at her.

 

“Do you suppose he’d believe you?”

 

“At this stage, I doubt it.  I think I came as a bit of a shock to ‘im today.  He does know about me, I take it?”

 

“I’m afraid me, Celia and Ham are guilty of talking quite a bit about you.  You were such a large part of our lives for a time that it’s only natural.  We’ve never seen anybody fight so hard for life and then to come back and it left its mark.  You’re a dear person, Adam Cartwright, and you mean more to us than I think you know.  I’ve had Ham tell me more than once that he’d trust his back to you anytime.”  She placed a hand gently against his face.  “We were blessed the day you rode into this town that first time, and we’ve been blessed again.”  The warm glow of the lamplight coming from inside lit her eyes.  “Make sure you know how you feel.  Don’t say what you think anybody wants to hear, say what’s in here,” and she put her hand flat against his chest over his heart.  “If you lie three people will be hurt, but if you tell the truth, maybe only one.”

 

“Elvira Hutchins, you have the soul of a philosopher.”  He snorted and shook his head.  “I will.  Before I leave for home, I’ll be sure.  Now, I think I’ll go check on my horse and visit with Jake a little before I turn in.” He bent down and kissed her on the cheek then started down the steps.  “I’ll be back before it gets too late.”

 

She watched him go and understood what it must have been like for his family while he was away from them.  To not know where he was or even if he was still alive had to have been a living nightmare.  She couldn’t imagine such a thing, but she did know the grief at the loss of a child.  And it was something a parent never recovered from even though they went on with their life.  She smiled as she saw his silhouette cross into the light coming from the stable and go inside, then she turned and went into the house.

 

THREE

 

Adam stepped into the kitchen where Mrs. Hutchins was frying ham and was just putting biscuits into the oven.  Everything smelled so good and reminded him of just how hungry he really was.  “Good morning,” he said brightly.  “I hope I’m not barging in where I have no business.”

 

“Nonsense,” she said as she turned the meat in the skillet and it sizzled more loudly, “as long as you’re here you’re at home.  And it’s always good to have a man in the kitchen, as long as he doesn’t get too badly underfoot.”  She grinned playfully.  “If you’re looking for Celia, she’s out gathering eggs.”

 

“Do you think she’d mind some help?  I’m an old hand at collecting eggs, especially from hens that don’t want to give ‘em up.”

 

“I think she’d like that very much.”

 

“Then I think I’ll just do that.”  Then he gave her a wink and went out the back door.

 

The morning breeze blew restlessly in the gold and scarlet leaves and the few remaining green ones as if trying to rush into winter.  A cold nip lay against the surface of his shirt chilling him.  He tousled his heavy black hair then smoothed it back and started for the chicken coop.  It sat about three feet down from the back of the big house and was enclosed by fencing wire to keep the chickens in and the predators out.  As he drew closer he could hear Celia’s soft voice inside as she cooed and clucked and talked to them.  Gingerly, he pushed open the door and it squeaked faintly on it hinges, but she didn’t seem to notice.  With his long legs, it took only a few steps to cross to the little structure and step inside.

 

Celia was wearing a light gray dress, and her soft wavy hair was pulled into an attractive bun at the nape of her neck.  Honey-colored tendrils hung about her forehead and temples as she twisted tantalizingly to reach under the hens.  Adam knew he should let her know he was there, but watching her go about her chore with child-like zeal totally unaware of being observed he was simply enjoying too much.

 

“Need any help?” he finally asked.

 

She gasped and whirled and dropped the egg she’d just snared.  It hit the hard-packed dirt floor with a crunch and its golden orange yolk mingled with the lucent white and they spread into a confined puddle at her feet.  “How long have you been standing there?”

 

“Long enough.” 

 

“Long enough for what?” she asked crisply.

 

“Long enough to know that nobody gathers eggs quite like you do.”

 

“Twaddle,” she started as she turned back to the chickens, “I don’t do it any differently from anybody else.”  She brought out another egg and put it into the basket hanging over her arm.

 

“Oh, yes, you do,” he said as his eyes roved admiringly over her.  “But that isn’t why I’m here.  Your mother said you might like some help, but I can see you’ve got things well under control.”  He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned sideways against the doorjamb.  “So, do you have any special plans for today?”

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

“I thought that maybe when you got some free time you’d like to go riding along that path at the end of town.  It has been a whole year, and we still have plenty more to talk about.”

 

She stopped what she was doing and slowly turned to face him, and her eyes were soft and warm.  “I’d love to,” she said and the corners of her mouth pulled into a smile.

 

*******

 

After dinner and Celia had most of her chores done, Mrs. Hutchins said she could spare her for an hour or two.  “No woman in her right mind should ever pass up the chance to go riding with a handsome man,” she’d said, and Adam hadn’t missed Celia’s face turn absolutely crimson.

 

Adam wanted to return to the stream where they could be alone with only the sounds of nature around them.  Much had happened while they were apart and they needed to brush up on each other’s lives.

 

Everything was as he remembered, just as beautiful and just as peaceful.  The stream still ran on unhurried and splashed over rocks and sunlight still filtered through the trees.  It was still lush, though maybe not as green, and streaked with autumnal colors.  The last time he’d been here the pieces of his life were finally coming back together.  Celia and Ham had been with him and the glory of that day returned.

 

Celia rode in front of him as they came closer to the rock outcrop where they had stopped before.  He was eager to stop and take some time for them to get reacquainted.  Adam dismounted and helped her down.

 

He sat on the outcrop and let his legs hang over the edge and reached his hand out to her.  She took it and sat next to him and did the same with her legs.  For almost a minute they said nothing and let themselves become part of their surroundings.  The birdsong had thinned out some since so many had already gone south and many of the insects from the summer had gone into hibernation or died.

 

“If I live to be a hundred I’ll never forget how beautiful it is here.”  His dark eyes floated over what no man could ever dream of creating.  “Do you remember taking my hand when we were here before?”

 

“I do,” she said, and her fingers squeezed his.  “And I remember what we’d just come through together.  Oh, Adam, I thought you were going to die.”

 

“So did I.”

 

“Those four days that you lay so still, and I wondered if each breath would be the last.  And then that wonderful day came when you opened your eyes and looked at me.”

 

“But neither one of us had any idea what lay ahead.  There were times when I got so frustrated and so fed up that more than once I found myself wishing I had died.  But you kept me going and made me realize that it was all worth the effort.”

 

“I don’t think you needed me for that.  I’ve never seen anybody fight so hard.”  Her eyes darted sheepishly away from him.  “I have a confession to make; I almost gave up a few times too.  When you were lying there so helpless…”  Tears broke loose and ran freely, and her voice cracked.  “We were afraid that maybe you wouldn’t be any better.  Mother said that sometimes it’s crueler to live.”

 

“She’s right, but that time she was wrong, thanks to you.”  He brought her hand up and kissed her palm.  “I have much to thank you for, Celia, not the least of which is my life…. Now, I have a question to ask you, and I’m not trying to meddle.  But, how do you feel about Matt Payne?”

 

“Well, he’s nice and…”

 

“And that’s not what I asked.  How do you feel about him?  It’s a simple question and, if you really love him, it should have a simple answer.”

 

“Whoever said that anything having to do with love is ever simple?  Leave it to a man to come up with an addlepated notion like that,” she said with a little of a sharp edge.  “And why do you want to know anyway?”

 

“Because I care about you.  I’m not trying to pry or make you mad at me; I just want to make sure you’re happy.  Now I’ll ask it again…”

 

“You don’t have to.”  She took a deep breath, and her ire melted away.  “I guess I haven’t really given it much thought one way or the other.   I’ve thought so much about you and me and how I feel about you and what I’d say if you came back that I guess I haven’t given poor Matt much of a tumble, or a thought, for that matter.”

 

“And how do you feel about me?”

 

“I told you that yesterday.”

 

“All right, tell me again now that we have yesterday behind us.  How do you feel about me?”

 

Her face scoonched up into a pensive scowl, and she went quiet for several seconds.  “Like I said, I love you dearly, but…”  She laughed lightly.  “I was awake all night making sure I wasn’t lying to you or myself, and I about drove Mother crazy.”  She giggled.  “She threatened to put me out with the chickens if I didn’t settle down, but instead we had a long talk.”

 

“And what conclusion did you come to?”

 

“That what I told you yesterday was the truth.  You’re very precious to me, and I do love you, but as a very dear friend.  We shared something tragic and devastating and it built a lasting bond between us.  You showed me that miracles do still happen.  From everything I know and have heard about hydrophobia we shouldn’t be sitting here talking.”  She looked deep into his eyes.  “And the thought of that is unbearable to me.”

 

“But you still haven’t answered my question about Matt, and ducking around it won’t make me stop asking it until I get a straight answer.”

 

“I guess I don’t really know,” she said and shook her head.  “But I suppose now I’m going to have to come to a decision, because if I know my Matt, he won’t let it rest until I do.” She pulled the hood of her cloak up and rested her head against his shoulder.

 

He smiled and looked down at her and felt a growing warmth inside.  She hadn’t really noticed what she’d just said.  ‘My Matt’ had carried no special significance to her, but him it had hit right between the eyes.  These two loved each other, even if she didn’t realize it yet and Matt wasn’t altogether sure about it himself.  Yes, he’d repeatedly asked her to marry him, but did he even understand yet how he really felt?   Adam grinned.  A little agony could go a long way.

 

FOUR

 

It was coming up on supper, which Mrs. Hutchins was just putting on the table, when Adam and Celia rode past the house headed for the livery.  It was after dark and to say that Matt Payne was upset would be putting it blandly.  That he was on his head would be more accurate.  He was sitting in the swing nervously pushing it back-and-forth, but that stopped when he saw them. His eyes never left them as they went on to the stable.  His fingers gripped the chain until his knuckles had a notion to burst the skin as Adam put his hands on her waist and lifted her down.  Abruptly, he came to his feet and stepped to the edge of the porch as they led their horses inside.

 

He wasn’t aware that the toe of his left boot was tapping when they came out.   They were laughing and talking as they walked toward the house and the tapping quickened. 

 

“Where have you two been?” he asked as they started up the steps.  “You’re late for supper.”

 

“Have you eaten already?” she asked innocently.

 

“No,” he snarled his eyes bore down on Adam, “your mother’s just putting it on the table.  But don’t you think you should’ve been here to help her?”

 

“Oh, Mother understands,” she said merrily.  “She told me some of the stories about when Daddy was courting her.”  She giggled girlishly.

 

Adam never said a word as he went to the door and opened it for Celia.  He was hungry, and he wasn’t in the mood to get into the middle of this right now.  He could see plainly what was oozing out of Matt Payne, and he thought it wouldn’t hurt a thing if it oozed a little while longer.  She went on inside, and he followed her, letting the screen door slam behind him.

 

In spite of the chilly night air hot ran all over Matt, and his hands balled into fists.  Hate was too strong a word for what he was feeling, in fact; he wasn’t sure just exactly what he was feeling.  All he knew was that Celia was paying entirely too much attention to this man, and he didn’t particularly care for it.  He was too tall, too good-looking and just plain too much everything.  With a half strangled groan, he jerked the screen door open and went inside.  He wasn’t going to let Celia be swept away by his charm, not if he, Mathew Payne, could help it.

 

******* 

 

Adam was starting up to his room when he was buttonholed by Matt.  “Turnin’ in kinda early aren’t you?” Matt asked flatly.  Adam couldn’t miss the insolent light burning in the deep eyes.

 

“Oh, I thought I might read a little before going to bed.”

 

“Well, I’m afraid Mrs. Hutchins don’t have any pulp books in the house.”

 

Adam fought to keep the grin from his mouth.  “I know that, but I don’t like them anyway.  I thought I’d go up to the attic and see if I could find Emerson’s Essays.  I didn’t get the chance to finish it last time I was here.”

 

“Don’t think I ever hearda him.  Sounds kinda highfalutin to me.”

 

“Maybe, but I like it.  Now, if you’ll excuse me I’d…”

 

“Read a lot, do you?”

 

“When I can find the time.  Look, I really want…”

 

“For my money most women like men to be men.”

 

“Oh, and women don’t like for men to read?”

 

“Yeah, sure they do, but they like the kind that can take care of ‘emselves and them.”

 

“I see, and men who read can’t do that?”

 

“Well, for the most part, the ones I’ve seen that like those fancy books like that Emerson fella wouldn’t know one end of a gun from the other.”

 

“Not all, now, if you don’t mind, it’s been a long day, and I just want to go to my room.”

 

“Well, I…”

 

“Good night,” Adam said not exactly rudely but close and started up the stairs.

 

Matt’s hand tightened on the newel post, and one eyebrow drew down.  His mind was percolating and working on ways to show this man for what he was, and maybe wise Celia up in the bargain.  His eyes remained on Adam until he disappeared from sight and the door to the attic stairwell opened.  A crafty smirk crooked one corner of Matt’s mouth then he turned and went out the front door.

 

*******  

 

Adam had been developing the habit of coming into the kitchen while breakfast was being prepared right before leaving last time, and now it was picking up again.  But this morning something other than enticing aromas and good company drew him in.  For almost thirty minutes someone had been shooting behind the house, and he was half a mind to turn the pistol on them.

 

“Is somebody having target practice or are they diligently protecting us from menacing squirrels and rabbits?”

 

Mrs. Hutchins snickered at his quip, but it was replaced with a disapproving scowl.  “Oh, it’s Matt.  He seems to think that wasting bullets and waking up the whole town – including our chickens – is in order.”  She removed the bacon from the skillet onto a platter and spooned flour into the fat for the gravy.  “I swan, since you came that boy had gotten as moody as a cat with a litter of kittens.  And we both know the answer to why.”

 

“I had no idea I was gonna stir up such a hornet’s nest.  Of course, I can always leave.”

 

“You’ll do no such thing,” she said stirring the roux vigorously.  “You have as much right to be here as he does, in fact, more.  And if he wants to act like a child then that’s his business.”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody so green around the gills.”  He snorted and shook his head.  “Last night he cornered me on my way to bed.  He seemed to think that women were more impressed with men who could shoot than those who read ‘highfalutin’ books.”

 

“Oh, so that’s what this is all about,” she said as she slowly poured milk into the golden mixture in the skillet, stirring continually.  “Men.  I don’t know why we put up with any of you.”  But then an impish grin spread her mouth.  “And then again.”

 

“Why Elvira Hutchins,” he said as if scandalized.

 

Now it was the mother’s turn to redden.  “You know what I mean.”  She put her attention back on breakfast.

 

“By-the-way, where’s Celia?  I haven’t seen her this morning.”

 

“She went out to get the eggs, but that’s been probably fifteen or twenty minutes ago, and I know it doesn’t take her that long.”

 

“I’ll go check on what’s keeping her.”  Then he opened the door and went outside.

 

As Adam came out he saw that Matt was down the embankment, and by his feet was what looked like a wooden crate with empty bottles.  Celia was standing behind him where the ground began to slope, the egg-filled basket over her arm.

 

“Your mother was wondering what was keeping you,” Adam said as he stepped next to her.  “And from the sound of things I thought maybe I was gonna have to call out the Army.”

 

“No,” she said evenly, “it’s just Matt’s target practice.  But he usually does it out by the stable.”

 

“Mornin’,” Matt started as he glanced back while reloading his pistol, “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

 

“Oh, no, I’m used to getting up early anyway.  Ranch work is pretty demanding, and you have to get a head start on the day.”

 

“Care to give it a try, Mr. Cartwright?” Matt said as he held the gun up.

 

“No, thank you.  It’s a little too soon in the day to go shooting at defenseless bottles, and, anyway, I left my gun in my room.”

 

“I’ll wait while you go get it.”

 

“Not today,” Adam said then took Celia’s elbow, and they turned for the house.

 

“You afraid or just not that good a shot?”

 

They looked back at him, and Adam’s eyes were growing darker.  “I do all right, and I generally hit what I aim at.  But like I told you, I left my gun in my room, and I…”

 

“Afraid you might miss in front of the lady?”

 

By this time Adam wanted to get his gun, but he wasn’t going to fool shooting any bottles.  “Look, if you want to spend the morning wasting ammunition and waking up the wildlife that’s your business, but I’m hungry, and I’m going in to breakfast.”

 

“Maybe you’re just one of those that talks big and does little,” Matt said, his attention focused away from Adam.

 

“Matt, I don’t think…”

 

“It’s all right, Celia.  If that’s the only way to be rid of you, I’ll be right back.”

 

“Adam, I really wish you wouldn’t do this,” she said softly.  “I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” and she glanced back harshly at Matt.

 

“Just let me take care of this, it won’t take long.  Then we’ll have breakfast, and I’ll help you and your mother around the house today.”  He pushed back one of the golden tendrils then went inside.

 

“Well, I hear you finally…” Mrs. Hutchins started as Adam stomped through the kitchen.  “Adam!”

 

Adam burst into his room.  He wasn’t angry; it was going to take a lot more than childish nonsense for that.  Oh, he had to admit that he was a bit piqued; this young man had been pushing him almost since he’d gotten there, and it was time to push back a little.  “Stay calm, Cartwright,” he said as he jerked his gun belt from the footboard and began buckling it on.  “Just concentrate on hitting the target and nothing else.  You don’t need to give him anymore reasons to bait you.”  He tied the laces securely around his thigh then checked the gun’s play in the holster and it moved smoothly.  Then – with a deep breath and a determined set to his mouth – he went back out.

 

The minute he stepped outside Celia could tell by the look on Adam’s face and the near absence of any hazel in his eyes that Matt had pushed him too far.  She recalled the way he’d been when he was sick, and it frightened her.  Though she knew he was well over that she guessed that it had heightened an existing temper, and though he’d never shown it with her or her mother after his recovery, she knew it was still there.

 

“Adam, I really don’t think…” she started as she took his arm.

 

“It’s all right, I’m not mad.  Not yet.  I’m just gonna put on a little shooting exhibition of my own.  Now why don’t you go on back in the house?”

 

“Why?  You afraid she might see you mess up?”

 

Adam’s eyes glittered like hard bits of coal.  Holding back his temper was becoming increasingly difficult.  “Do you wantta stay?” he asked her, and she only nodded.  He placed his hand tenderly against her cheek then went down to stand by Matt.

 

“Throw up five bottles all at once and don’t tell me when.”

 

“If you say so,” Matt said as he gave him a skeptical look.  He stooped to the box, and, after several seconds, he stood and threw the bottles into the air.

 

Adam’s hand snapped to the revolver on his hip – his eyes never leaving his targets – and the gun cleared leather in the flick of a snake’s tongue.  The bottles shattered in quick succession before they’d even begun to fall back to earth.  Clear shards hit the ground and glinted in the sunlight that came through.

 

“Now, you see that cluster of leaves on the outside of the far tree?” Adam said as he turned.  “The little red bunch.” 

 

Adam took careful aim, squeezed the trigger, and the leaves were cut precisely from the small limb as if with scissors.  He holstered his pistol as he turned back to Matt.  “Now, can I go have my breakfast?”

 

But Matt was too stunned to answer, and he just stood there staring at the shining bits of glass.  Mrs. Hutchins had come out to see what was going on and was standing with her daughter.  Adam escorted them back to the house and they went inside without one of them looking back at the dumbfounded young deputy.

 

FIVE

 

After that morning Adam had pretty much tried staying out of Matt Payne’s way all day.  One confrontation had been quite enough for his taste, and after showing him up that way he wasn’t sure what could come next.  And he really didn’t care to find out. 

 

The smell of fried rabbit and sweet potatoes made their way outside.  Supper would be ready before long and Adam’s appetite hadn’t been stunted by the activities of earlier in the day.  He stepped out on the front porch as the sun seriously considered going down.  It was quiet except for a few evening birds and a light wind that rustled in the remaining leaves.  He liked it in Gordon’s Junction, and he particularly liked it here.  Celia and her mother were among the best kind of people, and with a man like Ham Tyler at the helm it was a good place to call home, even if for only a short time.

 

He leaned against one of the posts and looked out into the darkening sky.  If he were a smoking man it would be a good time for a pipe, but he’d never developed the habit.

 

“I was hopin’ to get you alone.”

 

Adam turned at the sound of the cold voice behind him.  Matt Payne got up out of the swing and came closer to him.  He was itching for something and Adam sensed it instantly.

 

“I didn’t see you.  I thought you were still at the jail.”

 

“No, I’ve been waitin’ for you.  I want to talk to you about Celia.”

 

“What about ‘er?” Adam asked casually, but stayed alert.

 

“Until you came things was goin’ pretty good between us.  Oh, not the best, maybe, but not bad.  That is, when she wasn’t talkin’ about you.  And they would’ve got better if you’d just stayed away.”

 

“Celia and I are friends, the best kind, but still only friends.  That’s part of the reason I’m here.  We decided to put a year between us to see how we really felt, and we both agreed there’s nothing more to this than friendship.”

 

“Then why are you always fussin’ around her and holdin’ onto her?”

 

“Like I told you, we’re friends.”

 

“It don’t look that way to me.”

 

Adam’s frustration was mounting, this was like chopping on a petrified tree; no chips were flying.  “Well, I guess that’s just because a friendship between a man and a woman is a little different than between two men.”

 

“You don’t really expect me to believe that, do you?”

 

Adam grinned ironically.  “No, I guess I don’t.  But it’s the truth whether you choose to believe it or not.  I love Celia, and I always will, but in a different way than what you feel for her.”

 

Matt frowned.  “And how do you know what I feel?”

 

“It’s obvious.  You see me as a threat.  You’re little show this morning was entirely for her benefit.  And you thought to show me up, and it didn’t exactly work out the way you wanted it to.”

 

“So that’s why you did that?  You were tryin’ to impress ‘er.”

 

“I wasn’t, but you were.  I don’t need to try to impress anybody and certainly not Celia.  And neither do you.  Just let her see you for who you are.”

 

“So now you’re tryin’ to tell me how to get a girl?”

 

“No, but I am trying to tell you that Celia doesn’t need to be impressed.  Now why don’t we just go inside and get cleaned up for supper?”

 

“You know, I’m gettin’ sick and tired of you tellin’ me what to do.”

 

“When have I told you what to…?  Oh, never mind.  I don’t know why I’m telling you all this anyway,” Adam said with disgust and turned to go back into the house.

 

“I don’t like to have people turn their backs on me when I talkin’ to ‘em,” and he reached out and grabbed Adam by the arm.

 

Adam whirled back around, his eyes flashing amber.  “Look, boy, I’m done tryin’ to get through to you.”

 

But before he could utter another word, Matt’s fist struck his left cheek, and he went down.

 

“Matthew Payne, what’re you doing?” Celia shouted and slammed the screen door and put herself between them.  “Have you lost your senses?”  She shoved him back and knelt by Adam.  “Adam, are you all right?”

 

But Adam was still too addled to say anything.  The blow had taken him by surprise, not to mention shaken him up.

 

She turned an icy glare on Matt that sparked in the fast waning light.  “I don’t know what’s the matter with you.  Now I think you’d better just go,” she said and pointed off down the street.  “You can eat at the restaurant tonight, and when you’re finished you can come get your things, they’ll be on the porch.”

 

“Celia,” Matt started.

 

“There’s no explanation for this so don’t even try to make one.  Now go on.  You’ve done enough for one day.”

 

His dejection was blatant as he went down the steps, but she didn’t care as she turned back to Adam as he sat up.  “Are you all right?”

 

He shook his head mildly and rubbed his cheek.  “Boy packs quite a wallop.  I should’ve seen that comin’.”

 

“I’ve never seen him like this, and I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she said with a glance to the retreating deputy then helped Adam get to his feet.

 

“You should, since you’re the reason for it.”

 

Her eyes searched his face.  “What does that mean?”  But then her mouth fell open as comprehension sunk in.  “Matt,” she said softly and started after him, but Adam held her arm and stopped her.

 

“No, no, don’t go after ‘im.  That’s the last thing you wantta do.  Let him think things over and be alone, and a little stewing won’t hurt him either.  And the longer he thinks you’re mad at him the better.  Groveling can be such a humbling experience.”

 

She sighed and shook her head.  “I don’t know how I missed this.  All the signs were there, but somehow I just didn’t see it, and I should have.”

 

“Not really.  You’ve been too close to it.  I saw it, and so did your mother and Ham may’ve even noticed.  But you know what they say about not being able to see the forest for the trees.”

 

She looked back to him with a sad smile.  Her fingers lightly touched where he’d been struck, and she shook her head.  “All because of me.”

 

“You didn’t tell ‘im to hit me,” and he gingerly raised his hand to his eye.  “And I think a black eye is a small price to pay for you.”  He grinned and put his arm around her shoulders.  “Now let’s go on inside so you and your mother can make over me for an hour or two.  And, anyway, I’m hungry as a wolf.”

 

She put her head against his chest and hugged him, but no more words were spoken.  As they started inside Adam watched the young man still dragging himself down the street and almost felt sorry for him.  If his face hadn’t hurt he probably would have.

 

*******

 

Adam – leaned back on the settee – was getting the treatment just as he suspected he would when the knock came at the front door.  There was no steak to put on his face so after they’d eaten Mrs. Hutchins had filled a basin from the pump in the kitchen and the water was cold.  Celia went to see who it was and Adam wasn’t surprised when Ham walked into the parlor with her, hat in hand.

 

“Matt told me what happened.  It was kinda like pullin’ teeth, but I managed to get it out of ‘im,” he said as he raised the wet cloth and looked at his friend’s mildly swollen cheek.  His nose wrinkled and one eye pinched together.  “Oh, yeah, it’s blackin’ up real nice.”

 

“Just a little disagreement,” Adam said and repositioned the compress.

 

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Ham said and shot a sly glance in Celia’s direction.  “After you got here I guess I kinda seen this comin’, I just didn’t expect it to happen this soon.”

 

“You could’ve warned me,” Adam said and winced.

 

“I don’t mean I knew he was gonna take a poke at you, but I guess I should’ve.  Bein’ around ‘im’s been like bein’ around a wasp-stung grizzly.  Shoot, it started before you even got here; it just got worse when you rode in.”

 

“Where is he?” Celia asked.

 

“He’s down to the jail broodin’.  But he ain’t sayin’ too much, just that you threw ‘im outta the house.  And how’s he made a big fool out of hisself, and he don’t blame you none.”

 

“What about me?” Adam asked.

 

“You he ain’t talkin’ about.  And that’s a good sign. I think.”  Ham sat down next to Adam.  “He ain’t the type to go around bushwhackin’ folks, but the state he’s in, I’d still watch myself.  He’s just liable to black the other eye.”

 

Mrs. Hutchins focused on her crochet and occasionally glanced up.

 

“I tried telling him that Celia and I are just very dear friends, and that I love her that way.  And that a friendship between a man and a woman is a little bit different.”

 

“You said what?” Celia said as her brow furrowed.

 

“Don’t get all up on your high horse, dear,” her mother said without looking up.  “Adam was right to tell him.  Not that it did any good.”  The corner of her mouth turned slightly.

 

Adam couldn’t miss Mrs. Hutchins’ amusement.

 

“I’m sorry, Adam.  You were right.  The way we feel about each other is nothing to be ashamed of or want to keep a secret.”  Celia sat down on the little footstool near Adam’s end of the settee.  “I just feel so sorry for him.”

 

“Him?” Adam said calmly and removed the cloth.  “I’m the one going around looking like half a raccoon.”

 

Celia put a hand over her mouth and muffled a giggle.

 

“Well, I’m glad you all think this is so funny.  Maybe I should go get myself shot and then you can all have a good laugh.”

 

“You must admit, Adam dear, that the whole situation is a bit on the amusing side,” Mrs. Hutchins said as she looked up.

 

“I’m quite sure that me and Matt don’t find it quite so funny.”  He eased his long frame off the settee.  “Now, while you all sit down here and enjoy yourselves at my expense, I’m going up to bed and nurse my busted face.  Good night.”  Then he walked out into the entryway.

 

“I think we hurt his feelings,” Mrs. Hutchins said, and she looked after him.

 

“You did,” Adam snapped back, and they heard him laugh lightly as he started up the stairs.

 

*******

 

Matt lay on the bunk in one of the jail cells, his fingers laced behind his head and staring up at the ceiling.  He’d made such a total jackass of himself this day, and he’d understand if Celia never wanted to see him again.  She liked this Cartwright, and maybe he would too if he gave him half a chance.  But right now he wasn’t in the mood to give him anything, although he hadn’t meant to hit him, not that it didn’t feel a little good.  But something ran over him when the man turned away from him when he’d been trying to get things straightened out about Celia, and then he was on his back on the porch floor.  Next thing he knew after that Celia was shouting at him and shoved him and was at Cartwright’s side.  “Fool,” he grumbled half to himself.  “Now look what you’ve done.”  He closed his eyes and pushed his hat down over his face.  Maybe if he got some sleep things would look a little brighter tomorrow, though he seriously doubted it.

 

SIX

 

After breakfast Adam decided that he and Celia should have a long talk about what had happened the night before.  He’d been too tired, sore and not just a little disgruntled after it happened and at the table this morning hadn’t been the right time and place.   So he went looking for her and found out that she’d gone to Henry Merchant’s Mercantile for a few things they had to have.

 

It wasn’t a long walk from the boarding house to Merchant’s and it felt good to stretch his legs.  He wasn’t in any real big hurry since he knew how women were when they went into a store, sharing chitchat, looking at things they’d like to have and couldn’t afford or just plain didn’t need.  He grinned and shook his head and picked up the pace a little because now he really wanted to see her.

 

Ike Ratherton ruffled his dense ashy blond hair and griped to himself as he crossed the street from Dempsey’s saloon to the Bank of Gordon’s Junction.  It was a straight line from the drinking establishment to the bank as the drunken crow flew, which was appropriate since Ike had plied himself well with whiskey.  He’d had a bad run of cards and it had only fomented the bending of his elbow.  He thought he had a little money in a small account though he couldn’t be sure how much if any, and right now he had to have it.  He came up onto the boardwalk and staggered into the building.

 

Adam’s walk was invigorating, and he felt better for it.  The store was in sight as he came down the center of the quiet street, and he was willing to bet that he would find Celia still there.  He didn’t notice when Ike Ratherton dashed out of the bank clutching a cloth bag, but his head snapped around when someone shouted, “He just robbed the bank!”  He stopped dead in his tracks as Ike fired at a man who had come out after him.  The bullet hit the doorjamb and the man ducked back inside.  After that absolute bedlam broke loose. 

 

Adam’s hand went to his hip, and he remembered that he’d left his gun back in his room, and he cursed under his breath. 

 

Ham rushed out of the jail with his own gun drawn.  “Ike!” he shouted, as he started down the steps.  Suddenly, a shot sounded, and he fell into the rutted street.

 

“Ham!” Adam yelled and started off at a run. 

 

Ike began firing off wild shots and people were running for cover, just as Celia stepped outside.  She gasped and her net bag slipped from her hand as she felt the searing pain tear into her left side.  She looked around as someone screamed her name.  “Adam,” she barely squeaked, then blackness closed in on her, and she dropped.

 

By this time Ike had emptied his hip gun – which he’d thrown into the dirt – and was now using the one he always kept stuffed into the waist band of his britches.  Adam fell to his knees by the unconscious girl on the boardwalk and hunched over her to protect her from being hit again.

 

Ike climbed into the saddle of the first horse he came to, still clutching the money bag.  He fired off one more shot then wheeled the animal and rode out of town at a dead gallop.

 

The buzz of voices and the sound of hurried feet were all around Adam as he raised and looked at Celia.  He said her name softly and touched her cool, pallid face, but she didn’t move.  The whole side of her dress and down onto the skirt was covered in blood.  He undid the front of it and stuffed his bandana against the wound then buttoned it up again to hold the cloth in place.  Then he gathered her into his arms and was just coming down into the street as Matt Payne ran up to him.

 

Matt’s face went the very color of chalk.  “She’s not dead is she?”

 

“No, I’m taking her home,” Adam said grimly as he started off with her.  “How’s Ham?”

 

“He’s all right.  A through-and-through in the shoulder and it ain’t bleedin’ so bad.”

 

Mrs. Hutchins was standing on the porch when she saw them coming, and her heart thumped into her throat.  Her hands knotted in her apron, and she felt the loss of Cary and Simeon crowding in on her.

 

Matt bounded up the steps and Adam came up behind him.

 

“Celia,” her mother’s voice trembled as she touched her daughter’s face.  “My little girl.”

 

Matt was holding the screen door open, and she rushed inside, followed by Adam and then the deputy.

 

Mrs. Hutchins was turning down the quilt and sheet as Adam came into the room.  He lightly placed Celia on the bed, and then backed away and let her mother take over.  She filled the basin with water and washed the girl’s face and checked the wound as two anxious men watched.

 

“I think we’d better wait outside,” Adam whispered.

 

As they stepped into the entryway, Adam pulled the door closed behind him.  Fire mingled with fear and burned bright and hot in his chest.  He cursed himself again – only silently this time – for not having his gun with him.  If he’d been packing then maybe neither Celia nor Ham would have been shot.

 

“I saw what you did,” Matt said as he turned to him, “coverin’ her with yourself that way.  So you’d get shot instead of her.”

 

“Somebody had to, and you weren’t there,” Adam said with a tired smile.

 

Matt returned the smile, but it quickly dissolved as his worried midnight eyes went to the door.  “If she dies…”

 

“We’ll do what has to be done no matter what happens,” Adam’s fingers clenched.  “But right now she’s our main concern.”

 

The front door opened back hard and Ham burst in, blood on his shirt sleeve, and his right arm in a sling.  “Jim Daley down at the bank told me what happened.  How is she?”

 

“We don’t know,” Adam said.  “Her mother’s in with her right now.”

Ham groaned and slammed his hat to the floor.  “I should’ve known that stupid kid’d do somethin’ like this someday.  He’s been workin’ up to it since before he was even dry behind the ears.  I should of locked ‘im up and lost the key.”

 

“You can’t blame yourself for this, Ham,” Adam said and gave his friend a pat on his good arm.  “When you get a bad one like that it seems like nothing anybody says or does makes any difference.  They go right ahead and do what they want to and it’s the misfortune of whoever gets in their way.  Today it was you and Celia.”

 

“And if we don’t stop ‘im, next time it’ll be somebody else,” Ham said with a frown.

 

The bedroom door opened and the look on Mrs. Hutchins’ face was less than reassuring.  “Adam, could you come in here, please.”

 

“How is she?” he asked.

 

“Just come in here.”

 

The men exchanged troubled glances, and then he did as she asked.  She quietly pushed the door together and his breath caught as he turned around.  Celia was in only her chemise and pantalettes and the blood stood out shockingly brilliant on the white undergarments. Without words Adam read what this frightened mother wanted him to do.  He went to the bed and sat down on the edge of it and raised the crimson stained fabric and examined the bullet wound.  Then he turned her gently onto her side and saw that there was no exit hole so the slug was still inside.  With a deep breath, he tenderly lowered her and brought the sheet up around her waist.  He pushed the soft blonde hair back from her face, and his fingers trembled.

 

He got up and went back to Mrs. Hutchins.  “It’s still in there and we both know it has to come out.”

 

“There’s isn’t a people doctor for miles and by the time we got one back here…”  She stifled a sob.

 

“What about Dr. Reynolds?  Has he ever taken out a bullet before?”

 

“Yes, but never anything as serious as this.”

 

“Well, were running out of time and choices.  It’s got to be him… or me.  The decision is yours.”

 

She looked at her child lying so still and deathly pale.  “You do it.  Celia would want you to.”

 

He put his arms around her and held her, and she released the tears.  “We’ll do our best to get her through this, you and I.”  He looked at Celia.  “I owe her that much.” 

 

******* 

 

Towels had been packed against Celia’s side to catch any blood. Adam pushed the chemise up just far enough to be out of his way.  He looked at the long, thin-bladed knife he held then to the calm, expressionless face.  “Please don’t wake up, sweetheart, not yet.”

 

“Listen to him, dear,” Mrs. Hutchins said softly.  She stood close by in case her assistance was needed.  “Do it, Adam.”  Her hand lightly touched his arm, and her eyes met with his.

 

This had to be done and putting it off wasn’t going to help anything, especially Celia.  He braced himself then stuck the blade into the wound.  It took several seconds to finally locate the object he sought, and it was as deep as he’d feared.  Now, all he had to do was get it out without causing any further damage.  This girl had suffered, but he didn’t want any of it to be because of him. 

 

Carefully, he got the tip of the blade beneath the slug and gradually began working it toward the surface.  It was slow, tedious, mind numbing work, but it had to be done, and he wouldn’t quit even it he could.  He was ever aware of the young woman on the bed and her mother hovering over him.  This he was doing as much for himself as he was for them.  He swallowed hard and swiped the back of his hand over his forehead, leaving a bloody smear.

 

Elvira Hutchins watched him as he fought to save her daughter’s life, this darkly handsome man that had dropped into their lives so abruptly last summer.  He’d come to them when he own life had appeared to be edging toward death.  But he’d put up a valiant battle, and now he was doing the same for Celia.  Memories of the days after his illness had passed – leaving him so dependant on them – were bittersweet but cherished.  Those were the days when they had often wondered if he would ever totally come back.  But that fight had been as hard as the one to simply live, and he’d won it too.  Now she knew he was the man that his family had always known, and she was glad.  She blinked away the tears as she realized that they were as much for him as they were for Celia.

 

“Got it,” pulled her from her musings, and she saw that he held the blood covered piece of lead between his thumb and index finger.  She heaved a heartfelt sigh and said a silent prayer of thanks.  Providence had smiled on them the day it had sent them Adam Cartwright.

 

Adam had never felt such a sense of relief, but he knew that this was anything but far from being over.  There was the ever-present possibility of infection and fever along with whatever the bullet had wrought. 

 

A cool, wet cloth wiping his forehead made him look around, and he was met by the warm, sad smile of Mrs. Hutchins.  Love and admiration filled her gentle blue-gray eyes as she leaned forward and kissed the side of his head.  “Thank you,” she said barely above a whisper and placed a hand against his face.

 

*******

 

Matt Payne hadn’t been able to stay in that house and run the risk of hearing Celia’s screams as the bullet was dug from her body.  He knew she was in good hands and there wasn’t anything he could do, but there was something he could do about the man that had shot her.  He’d gone back into town and organized a posse, which consisted of nine men, including him.  He now rode at the head of them determined to bring in the one that had caused all the grief.

 

Milt Rhodes, a hunter and first glass tracker who sometimes sold his game to the restaurant and the boarding house, rode alongside Matt, his keen, nut-brown eyes missing nothing.  Everyone who had been hunting with the man said he could track a gnat over a smooth rock, so when something caught his attention it caught Matt’s.

 

Milt reined in and the big man easily stepped down.  He went to a bush and gave it the once-over then stooped and examined the ground, brushing his beefy fingers lightly over it.

 

“Find somethin’, Milt?” Matt asked.

 

“He’s been by this way right enough,” Milt said as he stood and brushed the dirt from his hands.  “Some of the branches on this scrub’re broke and it’s fresh.”

 

“Well, couldn’t it’ve been a deer?” Matt asked.

 

“Nope,” Milt came back to his horse and climbed into the saddle.  “Not unless they started wearin’ shoes.  And the horse hair caught in the branches comes from a bay.  Just like the one Ratherton lit out on.”

 

“I’m sorry Milt, I just wantta make sure.”

 

“I know, boy,” Milt said and reassuringly squeezed Matt’s shoulder.  “But after what he done what with shootin’ Ham and Miss Celia, we ain’t gonna let ‘im get away.  And judgin’ from them tracks he’s movin’ fast and hard.  He’s gonna ride that horse to death and find ‘isself afoot.”

 

“Then we’ve got ‘im,” Matt said as an ominous light glittered in his eyes.

 

“Yeah, maybe, but a man can be as dangerous as a cougar when trapped.  Don’t sell ‘im short and for sure don’t turn your back on ‘im, ‘cause even if his belly gun’s empty he’s still got that’un in ‘is boot.”  

 

“I know.  Don’t worry, he’s not gonna get the drop on me like his did Ham and Celia.  Now let’s get movin’.” 

 

The men started up again and moved along the small draw, eyes and ears keenly alert.  Ike Ratherton had shot a defenseless woman, fired at an unarmed bank teller and brought down the sheriff, and they knew he’d have no qualms over shooting any one of them to assure his escape.  Vigilance was the keyword and caution the strategy if they were to catch this man and stay alive.

 

SEVEN

 

Adam had just put the coffeepot on the big wood burning stove when Ham walked into the kitchen.  The house was silent as a tomb, and the people in it moved as quietly as the ghosts that haunted such places.  Ham pulled up a stool and sat down at the small table where pie crust had been rolled and bread kneaded many times.  Adam glanced around at him as his friend leaned his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his fist.

 

“You do the best you can by your town and the folks you’re sworn in to protect.  You try to stop things like this from happenin’, and just when you think you’re doin’ a pretty good job at it somethin’ like this comes along.”  Ham shook his head, and his thick red hair waved in the breeze it produced.  “I dunno, maybe I’m not doin’ as good a job as I thought I was.”

 

“We all do the best we can,” Adam said as he stepped to the table, “but in spite of that, things still happen.  We’re only human, and we can’t see what’s ahead of us until we turn the corner, and by then it’s usually too late.  Mrs. Hutchins doesn’t blame either one of us for Celia being shot.”

 

“You?” Ham said as his sienna eyes came around.  “How could anybody blame you?”

 

“I could if I wanted to.  If I’d gone into town with her or found her before she left the store I might’ve held her up until it was over.  If I’d worn my gun instead of being lulled into a sense of security and getting careless.  If I’d done this or if I hadn’t done that.  A lot of ifs and not one of ‘em is gonna change a thing.  And even if something had been different Celia still might’ve been shot.  She might’ve been killed outright, nobody knows.”  He turned back to the stove and checked on the coffee’s progress.  “Don’t start second guessing yourself, my friend; because that’s one surefire way to drive yourself slowly crazy.”

 

Ham snorted ironically.  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.  Still, I spose it’s only nature that we do that.”

 

“I suppose.” 

 

The house went quiet again, but it didn’t last very long.  Someone came into the entryway, and even though they were trying to be quiet it was obvious they were there and it had the sound of a man.  Ham and Adam waited and watched the doorway leading into the hall then – with a shrug – Adam started toward it but stopped as Lyle Jasper came into the kitchen.  His face was ashen and drawn, making his dark brown eyes stand out even more, and his arms hung at his sides, his cold weather coat clutched in one hand.

 

“I was beginnin’ to think there wasn’t anybody here.  They told me back in town what happened,” Lyle said as he came closer.  “And from what they said it was a good thing you was there.”

 

“I didn’t do much,” Adam said flatly as he turned back to the stove.

 

“Don’t let ‘im fool you.  We’re all glad he was here.”

 

Lyle spied the blood on Ham’s shirt.  “Looks like he got you pretty good or bad, however you wantta look at it.”

 

“It’s a through-and-through, and I didn’t leak too much.  But it’s my gun arm, blast it all.  Still, it could’ve been worse – it could’ve been my head.”

 

“They said Mrs. Munroe’d been shot too, but they didn’t say how bad hurt she is.”

 

“It ain’t good, Lyle,” Ham said and riffled his fingers in his hair.   

 

“Well, did anybody get the doctor?”

 

“She ain’t a horse, Lyle,” Ham said.  “Adam here took the bullet out, and she ain’t woke up yet.  Her mother’s with ‘er, and we ain’t heard a peep for nigh onto an hour.”

 

On a deep expulsion of breath Lyle pinched his eyes and draped his coat across the table.  “I’m gone for five weeks and this is what I come back to.” 

 

Adam brought the coffeepot and three cups and put down next to it.  “I figure we can all use this,” he said as he filled one of the cups and handed it to Ham.  The next one went to Lyle and then he took care of himself. 

 

The men quietly drank the hot, rejuvenating liquid.  Words had become superfluous; enough had been said for the present moment.  Lyle Jasper could be filled in on the details later, but for now silent contemplation was in order.

 

******* 

 

Adam slipped into the bedroom with a cup of coffee.  Mrs. Hutchins was sitting in the rocking chair that had been pulled alongside the bed, and she was so focused on her daughter that she didn’t hear him.  Celia had been put into one of her father’s nightshirts and it swallowed her petite, lithe frame.  She was the color of milk, and her golden hair even seemed to have lost some of its luster.

 

“I brought you some coffee,” he said softly as he handed it to Mrs. Hutchins.

 

She took it mechanically, but her eyes never strayed from Celia’s face.  “She looks like an angel.  But I don’t want her to be yet.”

 

“As far as I’m concerned, she already is.  I’ll always believe that without her I wouldn’t’ve made it back, leastways, not all the way.  She’s a wonderful girl, and my life is richer for knowing her.”  He stooped down beside the chair and rested a hand on this distraught mother’s wrist.  “She didn’t give up on me, and I will do not less for her.  She’s worth fighting for, and we’re gonna fight hard.”

 

He could see that this woman was on the verge of breaking down.  He stood as he took the cup from her and put it on the bed table then brought her to her feet.  Putting his arms around her he held her as if she were his own mother.  She trembled in his grasp as her muffled sobs ran through her ample body.

 

“She’s still with us, we haven’t lost her.  And we know she’ll fight this, she can’t do anything else.”  He rested the side of his face on top of her head.  “She has a strong heart and a strong will, and we have to believe in her.”

 

Elvira Hutchins felt secure in this young man’s hold.  His muscular arms encircled her, and the haven they afforded gave her a safe place to cry.  The warm, consoling baritone almost made her believe that her daughter would be all right.  She closed her eyes and an image from the past came, an image of a cool evening in front of a warm fire when Adam would read to them.  Her weeping gained momentum and she would have been content to stay here, away from the pain that awaited her.

 

******* 

 

They were practically on top of the horse before they even know it was there.  It lay in a ditch, but it wasn’t dead.  Milt got down to see what was wrong with it.  His soothing voice calmed its fright and it stopped thrashing as he stroked its lathered neck.  The men in the posse kept their eyes open and pistols and rifles were at the ready.  Everybody knew that this was the horse that Ike Ratherton had ridden out of town on, and they also knew that he could very well be close by, maybe even watching them right now.

 

Milt gave the horse a final pat then went back to his own.  “Right shoulder’s broke, and he can’t get to his feet.  He’s sufferin’, but if we shoot ‘im it’s for durn sure Ike’ll hear it.  Maybe he knows we’re here and maybe he don’t, but if somebody puts off a gun that’ll pretty much clinch it.”

 

“And we have no way of knowin’ how far away he is,” Matt said, his acute eyes scanning around him.

 

“From what boot tracks I made out, they don’t look to be more’n an hour I’d say.  He ain’t gonna get too far afoot and with us on horseback…”

 

“We’ll run across ‘im,” Matt finished.

 

“And he could be around here holed in hopin’ we’ll ride past ‘im,” Milt said as he got mounted and took his rifle from its scabbard.

 

“What direction was he goin’?” Matt asked.

 

“The one we’re headed in.  If we pick things up we should catch up to ‘im before nightfall.  And you just remember what I said about trappin’ ‘im.”

 

“I will,” Matt said and turned in the saddle.  “All right, let’s get goin’.  And I don’t want any heroes.  When we catch up to ‘im he’s my job.”

 

No one disagreed with him, and they headed out, constantly watching.  To a man, they hated leaving that horse that way, but they couldn’t take a chance and possibly give themselves away.  Ratherton had already shown that he didn’t care to shoot anyone who stood between him and freedom, and they weren’t about to give him the upper hand.  They were on a dangerous manhunt, and they knew that carelessness could so easily get a man killed.

 

******* 

 

Adam stood on the front porch not looking at anything special.  He didn’t think the house had ever been so deathly quiet, even late after everyone had gone to bed.  He rubbed his hands along his arms against the autumn chill, but not because he particularly felt it. 

 

Ham – out of sheer exhaustion – had fallen asleep on the settee in the parlor. Adam had never seen him look so haggard and worn and the hole in his shoulder didn’t help.  The image of his friend dropping into the street rose up before him like a frightening apparition and brought with it a shiver.  He’d been on the run to help him when he’d seen Celia get hit.

 

“I thought if you were gonna stand out here in the cold, somebody ought to bring you come hot coffee,” Lyle Jasper said as he came to stand next to him.

 

“Thanks,” Adam said as he took the steaming cup that was offered.

 

The two men stood without words as Adam sipped his coffee.  It was peaceful and serene and any signs of the morning’s madness were gone.  It was – from all outward appearances – simply another crisp, invigorating October day just like millions of others.  But for those who had lived through it, it was anything but.

 

“When I was here last time you were we didn’t get to know each other,” Jasper said as he crossed his arms over his chest for warmth.

 

Adam looked up to the sky that hinted at snow.  “I’m afraid I wasn’t somebody you’d want to know then,” Adam said and took a sip.

 

“The ladies told me why you were actin’ the way you did…. From all I’ve heard about hydrophobia, it’s a miracle you’re still here.”

 

“That it is, and if not for those ladies, Celia especially, I doubt if I would be.”

 

“Mrs. Hutchins told me that part of it.”  He sighed and shook his head.  “Miss Celia’s a fine person, one of the finest I’ve ever met in all my travelin’, so’s her mother.  You go around from town to town, homesteads and ranches, and you meet all kinds.  Good ones, not so good ones, and ones like Miss Celia,” his face darkened, “and ones with a big hate on for everybody like that Ike Ratherton….  He’s been spoilin’ for somethin’ like this for a long time.  We got lucky with Ham.”

 

“We got lucky with everybody that was in that street today and we haven’t and aren’t gonna give up on Celia.”  Adam took another sip. 

 

“Ham told me what you did when you got to her out there today.”  He stepped next to Adam and held out a large right hand.  “To any man who puts himself in harm’s way to protect somebody else the way you did, I want to give my hand.  That man I want to get to know, and that man I’d like to call friend.”

 

Adam couldn’t miss the earnest sincerity in the man’s broad face.  With a warming smile he held his hand out and it was taken in a solid clasp.  It was shaken firmly and a new friendship was born.

 

*******

 

It was coming in toward suppertime when one of the men in the posse spotted Ike Ratherton off to their right moving through the trees, twenty-five or thirty feet away.  Night wasn’t for probably three hours yet, but the day had become overcast and they weren’t certain at first until he darted into view again.  Unfortunately, Ratherton saw them this time and took off, still holding the money bag from the bank.  Mounts were kicked faster and guns were brought into play as much as one could from the back of a galloping horse.

 

Ike’s legs churned as he continued his headlong flight.  But so intent on getting away was he that he didn’t notice Matt Payne and Milt Rhodes cut away from the others and come in behind him.  This effectively cut off his escape route if he should double back.

 

Ike came out into the clear and hadn’t gotten far when he found himself confronted by the armed men of the posse.  He went for the gun stuffed into the waistband of his britches.  “Don’t do it, Ike!” one of them shouted.  A look more of anger and loathing than fear covered the young man’s face as he turned to head back into the trees.  But he’d barely moved when he found that the deputy and the tracker had come in behind him.  A rifle and a pistol were drawn down on him, their deadly muzzles pointed directly at his chest.

 

“You’re comin’ back with us, Ike,” Matt said as he cautiously left the saddle, his gun never going out of play.

 

“Oh, no, I ain’t,” Ike said, now quite sober.  “I ain’t goin’ back just so’s you can hang me.”

 

“You didn’t kill anybody.  The sheriff’s all right and Mrs. Munroe was still alive when I left,” Matt said, moving away from his horse.

 

“But you don’t know!  She could already be dead!  And then you’ll hang me!  No, I ain’t goin’ back!” Ike shouted and the pistol came out and was taking aim at Matt as a shot shattered the air around them.  Ike’s gun came up and fired at the sky as he dropped to the ground, blood blossoming on the front of his shirt.

 

Matt came forward – his own weapon still smoking – and took the gun from the dying man’s hand and the other from his boot.  “Why Ike?  You didn’t stand a chance.”

 

“I wasn’t… wasn’t goin’… back,” he gasped.  “But I made… you… happy.”  He gave a kind of strangled gurgling that was intended to be a laugh, and blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.  “I… I know… how… you feel… about ‘er.”  Then, with his last breath he said, “You cain’t hang… no… dead man.”  His lifeless eyes stared into oblivion as his death rattle filled the men with a sense of relief.

 

Matt stooped and carefully closed the vacant windows that were Ike Ratherton’s eyes.  “All right, lets get ‘im up across a saddle and get back to town, and Milt, I want you to go take care of that horse,” Matt said as Milt came to stand next to him.

 

“Was he right?” Milt asked as Matt stood.  “Did it make you happy to shoot ‘im?”

 

Matt looked around at him, and his expression never changed.  “I’d be lyin’ if I said no.”

 

EIGHT

 

It had been dark several hours when a commotion in town signaled the return of the posse.  Adam, Ham and Lyle came out onto the porch.  From the light spilling into the street from the buildings they could see the horses stop in front of the jail and one looked to be riderless from what they could tell.  People were gathering and the sound of their voices carried to the boardinghouse.  As they watched a lone, slim figure was heading in their direction, his legs driving him forward at a hurried pace.  They soon could see that it was Matt.

 

“Did you get ‘im?” Ham asked as his deputy got in front of the porch.

 

“Yeah, we got ‘im, and he wanted to make a fight of it, but he didn’t get the chance….  He’s dead.”

 

A thunderclap couldn’t have been any louder than those two words.  Looks were exchanged, and then Ham returned his attention to Matt.

 

“Who shot ‘im?” Ham asked.

 

Matt came up the steps and stopped when he got up with them and looked the sheriff in the face.  “I did….  I had to.  You can ask any one of the men in the posse, and Milt was right with me.  Ike said he wasn’t comin’ back to get hung, and he would’ve shot somebody to keep from it.”  Then he turned to Adam.  “How is she?  How’s Celia?”

 

“I got the bullet out, and she’s still with us,” Adam said as he capped a hand on the young deputy’s back.

 

“But how is she?”  He looked around him and it was obvious he didn’t like what he was seeing in their faces.  “Adam,” he said as he turned back to him.

 

“She’s still not awake.  Her mother’s in with her, but she says nothing’s changed.  Now let’s go in the house and get you warmed up and we can fill each other in.”

 

“I’ve got a fresh pot on,” Lyle said and led the way.

 

Matt was sitting in a chair that had been brought in from the dining room at the table in the kitchen while Lyle poured coffee into his cup.  Ham was on the stool, also with a cup of coffee, and Adam was frying up a couple slices of ham. 

 

“He hadn’t even stopped to put it out of its misery,” Matt said then thanked Lyle.  “Knowin’ Ike it was a mix of not wantin’ to get caught and just plain not carin’.” 

 

“My ma always taught me not to talk ill of the dead, but it’s the flat out truth that Ike Ratherton didn’t care for nobody but Ike Ratherton,” Ham said and took a good swig.  “The only thing he cared about shootin’ me and Miss Celia was gettin’ hung.”

 

“Does anybody know why he got it into his head to do a fool thing like robbin’ the bank?” Lyle asked as he poured himself a cup then sat the pot on the table.

 

“I was talking with Jake Flowers,” Adam said as he turned the ham, “and he said he heard that he was drinking at Dempsey’s saloon and playing poker.”  He took a plate from the breakfront by the back door and got two slices of bread from the keeper and put on it.  “And according to who Jake talked to, Ike was losing big and needed more money,” he went on.

 

“Ike was never known for doin’ very many smart things,” Ham said.

 

Adam turned the ham once more then put it between the two slices of bread and placed it in front of Matt.

 

“I talked with Blaine Thomas from the bank before we rode out,” Matt said as he picked up the sandwich, “and he said that Ike came in blind, staggerin’ drunk and wanted to take some money out of his account because he had a winning hand.  Only trouble was, he didn’t have any account, and they wouldn’t loan ‘im anything.”

 

“That’s answers my question,” Lyle said and shook his head.

 

Matt just looked at the sandwich as if it were the most distasteful thing he’d ever seen.  “I don’t know that I have all that much of an appetite.”

 

Adam glanced at him as he poured himself some coffee.  “I know you haven’t eaten since breakfast, and it won’t help Celia to starve yourself, so eat it.”

 

Matt bit into the hot sandwich expecting it to taste like paper.  But it tasted pretty good and brought home just how wolf hungry he was.  His eyes went to Adam, and he smiled and found himself liking Adam Cartwright more with each thing he did.  “Thanks,” he said and took another bite.

 

*******

 

Adam eased into the bedroom, making as little sound as he could and after living all those years around the Paiutes it wasn’t difficult.  Mrs. Hutchins was still in the chair slowly rocking, the chair’s thin creaking being the only sound in the room.  He could see the lines of fatigue and worry around the woman’s eyes, and her mouth was drawn into a knot.  He put his hand on her arm and it gave her a start, and the chair instantly stopped.

 

“I didn’t mean to startle you.”

 

“I didn’t hear you come in.”  She leaned back, and her eyes fixed on her daughter again.

 

“Still no change?”

 

She only shook her head, and her fingers clenched on the chair’s arms.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so still.”

She swallowed a sob and forced herself to go on.  “She looks so peaceful, just like she did when she was a little girl.  I can remember slipping into their bedrooms when my girls were small just to watch them sleep.  The other two had the dark hair like their mother, but Celia…  Celia got her father’s beautiful honey hair and soft blue eyes….  I’ve already lost one daughter; I can’t stand to lose another one.” 

 

She buried her face in her hands, and her pitiful weeping touched Adam’s soul.  There was nothing like the suffering that a loving parent endured when a child was sick or injured or died.  He’d been forced to watch his own father’s torment as he watched his son slowly and painfully succumbing to the ravages of rabies, until Adam couldn’t stand it anymore and had disappeared into the night.  Ben Cartwright had gotten his child back, and he prayed that the same thing would be granted Elvira Hutchins.

 

He put his arm around her shoulders and comforted the best he could.  But a mother’s grief – and a father’s – could be inconsolable and all the reassuring words and hugs useless.  “Why don’t you lie down and try to get some rest?”

 

“No,” she said steadfastly as her head shot up, and her sobbing abated, “I won’t leave her.”

 

“You don’t have to.  Just lay down on the bed by the door here, and I’ll keep an eye on her.”

”I can’t sleep; I know I’ll never even be able to close my eyes.”

 

“Doesn’t matter,” he said as he helped her up.  “You just need to let yourself rest some, and you’ll still be here right in the room with her.”

 

She looked warily at him.  “All right,” she said with a nod, “as long as I don’t have to go upstairs.”

 

“You don’t,” he said as he held her hand and walked her over to the other bed.  “This’ll do just fine.”

 

She lay down, and he pulled the quilt that was draped over the footboard up over her legs.  Holding his hand tightly in both of hers, she looked deep into the dark hazel eyes.  “You’re a good, good man Adam Cartwright, and I bless the day you came here.”

 

He bent down and kissed her on the forehead.  “Now try to get some rest, Celia’s gonna need you sharp and alert.”

 

“All right,” she said as he saw her eyelids growing heavier by the second.  “But I just know I can’t sleep.”

 

She continued to hold his hand, and he felt her fingers slowly begin to loosen.  Finally, her eyes sealed and her breathing grew deep and heavy as sleep took her.  He smiled as he gently folded her hands and placed on her stomach.  He looked at her for a few seconds longer then went to the chair and sat down.

 

Her mother had been right; Celia Munroe was the very picture of an angel.  And one year ago she’d been his angel of mercy, his protector, his companion, and his teacher.  From her he’d learned to be Adam Cartwright again.  He could remember her soft melodic voice reading to him before he was able to do the same for her.  His lips turned and the grin went to his eyes as he recalled the three of them – him, Ham and Celia – tumbling down the front steps to land in an unflattering wad on the hard, dusty ground.  He could still see that beautiful face contorted in the most delightful mirth over him.

 

He leaned forward on his knees and watched her soft breathing.  Her arms were at her sides and her long, luxurious lashes that curled on the outside corners lay against her wan skin.  The mouth that could bunch into a firm knot when angry and spread into the most charming smiles was relaxed and slightly open.  There was no color to her usually baby-pink cheeks and the soft wavy hair fell in honey-colored tresses about her neck and shoulders.  She was indeed the image of an angel, and right now a very hurt one.  He grinned at the thought of an angel in a man’s oversized nightshirt.  

 

“Come back to us, Celia,” he said softly.  “Come back to us and return the sunshine to all our lives.”  He put his hands together and laced his fingers.  “He loves you, you know, and you could do a whole lot worse than Matt Payne.  And I kinda like ‘im, when he’s not trying to show me up and hitting me in the face.”  He shook his head.  “I’ve never seen a man turn so green, so fast.  But all the talk had ‘im competing with me before I even got here.”  He rubbed his cheekbone and winced.  “Innocent as the day I was born I walked in on a jealous man, and it’s not something I recommend.  You could’ve at least told me.  But then even you weren’t aware of it.  It’s kinda like standing too close to something; you can’t see the whole thing.”  With a faint smile he touched the back of her hand, but it quickly disappeared, and his heavy brows knitted into a deep frown.  He got up and felt her face and forehead, and he could feel that the heat was steadily building.  A cloth had been left in the wash basin, so he squeezed it out and began wiping away the mounting perspiration.  “Stay with us, Celia, stay with us and become Mrs. Matt Payne.  I know he’ll ask you again; he just needed a push in the right direction.  And if almost losing doesn’t do it, then he doesn’t love you as much as I think he does,” a devious light danced into his eyes, “or he just needs another push.”

 

He put the cloth back into the basin and returned himself to the chair.  Leaning his elbows on its arms, he tented his hands in front of him and watched her intently, his keen mind working.  These two belonged together and any half blind, dimwit with a stick could see it.  “He’ll make up his mind, Celia,” he said as he began to unconsciously rock, and the chair’s thin creaking came back.  “He’ll make it up or my name’s not Adam Cartwright.” 

 

NINE

 

This morning was colder than the ones before it and the possibility of snow was looking like more than a hint every day.  Adam glanced up at the sky and hoped it would hold off until he got back home, but even if it didn’t he couldn’t leave Celia and her mother right now.  Not even if he had to stay until next year, and that thought didn’t exactly depress him.

 

He walked to the wire pen with the basket hanging over his arm and wished he’d put his coat on.  But then he hadn’t planned on being out here that long, in fact, he hadn’t planned on it being this cold.  He shivered as he undid the latch on the enclosure door and stepped inside then crossed to the little coop.  Inside it was only moderately less bracing as the chickens huddled on their nests.  “You definitely have the right idea, girls,” he said as he went to them and began rummaging under them, and they were too chilled to object.  Even the big, dark red rooster – his long, shiny emerald green and black tail feathers drooped – couldn’t seem to build up much enthusiasm.  It warmed Adam’s hand as he dug around for the eggs, and thoughts off being a baby chick entered his mind.  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he grumbled and shook his head.

 

Adam dashed back into the warm, toasty kitchen and sat the basket on the breakfront.  The stove was well heated and so were the large cast iron skillet and the two smaller ones, and he needed to get breakfast started.  He’d just gone to the table and started slicing the bacon when Lyle Jasper walked in. 

 

“Mornin’.  Brrrrrrr, it’s a nippy one,” he said and rubbed his hands together.  The stove went out in my room, and I didn’t have the guts to get up and start it again.”  But then an incredulous expression took over his face.  “Do you know how to cook?”

 

“Well, let me put it this way, the only person that likes my cooking is me when I’m on my own and it’s better than starvation,” he said as his concentration stayed on what he was doing lest he slice something more than the meat.

 

“Then you’d better let me do it,” he said as he muscled Adam aside.

 

Now it was Adam’s turn to look incredulous.  “You cook?”

 

“My father died when I was fourteen, and I had five younger brothers and sisters, and while our mother worked I took care of ‘em and the farm,” he said as he started putting the bacon in the hot skillet and it instantly started frying.  “And the funny thing is that I found out I liked it and was pretty good at it.  Granted, I’m no chef in any fancy San Francisco or New York restaurant, but you can eat it, and I haven’t gotten any complaints yet.”

 

“I doubt anybody in their right mind would,” Adam said with a wry grin and Lyle laughed.

 

“I smell bacon,” Ham said as he came in.  He was wearing a fresh shirt, and his arm was still in its sling. Incredulity was catching as he caught sight of Lyle Jasper moving about at the stove as if he knew what he was doing.

 

“Yes, he cooks,” Adam said as he caught the look on his friend’s face.  “And he says he’s pretty good at it.”

 

“Well, we’ll sure soon find out.  I’m hungry enough to eat a bear, hide, claws and all,” Ham said as he took up his usual place on the stool.

 

“How’s the arm this morning?” Adam asked.

 

“Stiff.”  Ham tried flexing his fingers.  “But it don’t hurt as bad as it did.  Kept me up a good part of the night, but it’s kinda settled down to a dull ache this mornin’.  How’s Miss Celia?”

 

“I don’t think she moved all night, and she’s developing a fever.”

 

“Poor little thing,” Ham said and shook his head.  “Durn that ornery Ike Ratherton.  Folks about’ve been sayin’ for years that he’d do somethin’ like this some day.  But you can’t arrest a man for what he might do.  If you could most of the Territory’d be locked up.”

 

“Matt still asleep?” Lyle asked as he spooned some of the fat into another of the skillets.

 

“Yeah, poor boy,” Ham said, “he’s still on the settee.”

 

“Why didn’t he just go on upstairs to one of the beds.  More comfortable.”  Lyle put bread slices in the dry back skillet to toast.

 

“Too far away from Celia,” Adam said evenly.

 

It went quiet, leaving only the sizzling of the bacon.

 

*******

 

Matt’s legs were bunched up, and he lay on his side on the inadequate settee.  He was just beginning to stir when Adam came in with a plate and cup of coffee.  His eyes went wide as he sniffed and tried rubbing away the sleep.

 

“Good,” Adam said as Matt sat up, “I don’t have to go to the trouble of waking you.”

 

“Breakfast?” he asked as he stretched his arms and tried blinking his eyes awake.

 

“And don’t worry, I didn’t cook it.  Lyle did.”

 

“Lyle?”

 

Adam handed it to him then sat down on the footstool, his long legs bending up in front of him.  “I hope you like your gravy spooned over your bacon.”

 

“I don’t know, I’ve never eat it that way.”

 

“Neither had I, but you won’t be disappointed.  And the coffee would eat a bullet.”

 

“Just the way I like it.”

 

But Adam read the next words on his face and answered before they were spoken.  “She’s just like she was yesterday only a bit more feverish, but that’s to be expected.  Having a bullet in you isn’t the most natural thing in the world, and neither is taking it out.  Now eat your food and we can talk.”

 

Matt put his cup on the side table then started on his food but not with any great relish.  Then for a second he stopped and seemed to be looking into the past.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her as mad as she was the other night when I hit you.”  He finally looked up.  “And she had a right to be.  You didn’t do anything to me.”

 

“You thought I was taking your girl, and where I come from that’s grounds for a fist in the face,” Adam said and gingerly touched his black eye.  “And when a man’s in a state like you were he can’t listen to reason.  His mind gets all muddled, and the only clear thing is her.  When jealousy gets its foot through the door anything can happen, and usually does.”

 

“Maybe, but I was still wrong.  Most men would’ve got right back up and flattened me, but not you.  Why?”

 

“Well, if you’ll remember, you kinda blind-sided me, and I went down before I knew what was going on.  And that can certainly take the wind out of a man’s sails.”

 

“If I choose to believe that, which I don’t.  You’re bigger and more muscular than I am, and you could’ve wailed the tar out of me, but you didn’t.  Why?” 

 

“And have Celia mad at me too?  No thank you.  My face hurt, and I didn’t need that to add to it.  Now finish that before it gets cold.”  Adam’s nose wrinkled and one corner of his mouth curled.  “There’s nothing like cold gravy.  You could put shingles on a house with it and never have to worry about the wind blowin’ ‘em off.”  He got up and patted Matt on the shoulder.  “Celia’s a strong girl, and we havta believe she’s gonna fight her way through this.  And prayer wouldn’t hurt.”  He gave another pat then walked out.

 

Matt looked after him and rethought what had just been said to him.  He wasn’t blamed for taking that swing the other night.  And this was the first time he’d realized that he’d been jealous.  That ‘green-eyed monster’ – as his mother had called it – had gotten a hold if him, and he’d hit a man.  A flush of shame washed over him, and his hand tightened on the fork.  It was too late to undo what he’d done, but it wasn’t too late to start over, he’d just as good as been told that.  He smiled as he thought of how happy that would make Celia and took a bite of fried egg and washed it down with coffee.  His Celia just had to be all right.

 

*******

 

The night was dark as the deepest bowels of any mine and just as cold.  Heavy clouds had moved in and obscured the stars, and the new moon afforded no light.  It was still and the wind didn’t even seem to want to be around.  The big white house at the end of town sat like a monolith, it’s windows like ghostly, empty eyes that looked into the blackness.

 

Lyle Jasper and Ham Tyler had gone to bed upstairs and Matt Payne had settled down on the settee again.  He’d left word in town that he would be at the boarding house if anybody should need him, and when they came to be quiet about it, no matter the urgency.

 

Adam came down the stairs with a lamp; it was time to give Mrs. Hutchins a chance to rest.  He went to the bedroom door and eased it open and went inside.  As with before, she lay down on the smaller bed, and he took his place in the chair.  Celia looked even paler in the soft glow of the lamp.  “Good night, Celia,” he said softly then leaned back with his private thoughts.

 

TEN

 

Adam had dozed off in the chair and wasn’t aware of the time when an urgent voice woke him.  Adam was quick to gather his wits when waking and always had been, something he attributed to his childhood on the way west with his father.  The first place his eyes went was to the bed.  Celia’s fingers were grasping at the quilt, and her head was rolling on the pillow. 

 

He got up and sat on the side of the mattress next to her.  Her face wasn’t just warm anymore but downright hot and a sheen of perspiration glistened in the soft light.  The big nightshirt was soaked and clung to her body, and her hair was pasted down to her head and neck.  Adam squeezed the excess water from the cloth and began bathing her sweaty face.

 

As she grew more frantic the words became louder and clearer.   “Please don’t, Ike, please don’t.  Adam.  Adam.”

 

“I’m right here sweetheart,” he said as he pushed her hair back from her face.  “Adam’s right here.”

 

“No!” she screamed.  “He shot me!   Why would he want to shoot me?  Oh, Adam, please help me!”

 

Adam glanced up and saw that Mrs. Hutchins was standing next to him.  “How long has she been like this?”

 

“Not long.  She woke me up.”

 

“Adam, please help me.  Please help me, Adam.  Please don’t leave me.”

 

“I’m right here, Celia, and so is your mother, and we won’t leave you.”

 

“Matt, where’s Matt?  Matt!  Oh, please don’t shoot me.  Matt!”

 

“We’ve got to bring this fever down, and we need water colder than this,” he said as he found it increasingly difficult to wash her face.

 

“There’s the rain barrel behind the house.  It rained not long before you got here so it should be pretty full.”

 

“All right, I’ll take care of that while you stay with her.”

 

She took over his place on the bed as he grabbed the pitcher and started out.  The house was black as pitch and he let his mind take over and recall the placement of the furniture and the stairs and walls.  So many times he was grateful for what he’d learned from the Paiutes, and this was one of them.  He went through the narrow hall and into the cold, empty kitchen and out the back door.  It was almost impossible to see but he managed to find the barrel.  He emptied the pitcher onto the ground and dipped into the icy water then went back inside.  As he came along the hall again he was met by Matt with a lamp, and he could see the unrest in the deputy’s face caused by the late night activity.

 

“Celia’s burning up with fever,” Adam said as he got past him and started for the entryway.  “We’re gonna try to bring it down.”

 

“Well, is she gonna be all right?”

 

“I don’t know, Matt.  I don’t know.” Then Adam went into the bedroom and closed the door.

 

Matt felt himself go hollow as for the first time it really sank in that maybe she would die.  Before this he’d always been able to convince himself that she would be all right, but now he wasn’t so sure.  A fever had taken his Grandma Payne, but she’d been sixty-nine and Celia was young and strong.  But a fever could take anyone at any age and at any time.  And then there was that she’d been shot and that surely didn’t help.  He wanted to be with her and hold her hand and stroke her soft hair, but Adam, and her mother didn’t need him in there just getting in the way.

 

He stepped to the door and put his hand flat against it.  “I love you Celia Munroe, and I want you to be my wife, so stay with us,” he whispered plaintively.  His fingers tightened on the lamp, and his eyes cast to the ceiling.  “Please take care of ‘er and help ‘er.”  Then he turned and went back into the parlor, he had some praying to do.

 

*******

 

It had been a long night and Adam and Mrs. Hutchins had gotten very little sleep.  And Celia’s fever continued to heat up.

 

Adam plunged the pitcher into the rain barrel for the fourth or fifth time – he couldn’t remember which – then drug himself back into the house.  He couldn’t recall when he’d been so exhausted, but there wasn’t time to rest, not while Celia needed him so desperately.  Mrs. Hutchins was washing her daughter’s arms as he came back into the room and filled the basin again. 

 

“I see she’s quiet again.”

 

“For now, but nobody knows for how long.  And unless we can get her temperature down…”

 

He moved closer to the bed.  “We’ll think of something, for her sake, we have to.” 

 

Her head bowed over, and she put her hand to her forehead.  A slight tremble made her arm and shoulders shake.

 

“Why don’t you let me take over?  Try to eat something.  You haven’t had enough to keep a fly going.”

 

“I can’t, I’m just not hungry.”  Her arm fell into her lap, and she looked at Celia.  “I can’t lose my little girl.”

 

Adam wanted to believe that they weren’t going to lose Celia, and he wanted to tell her mother that they weren’t.  But he wasn’t omniscient or all-seeing, and he didn’t know anymore than she did.  He reached out and put his hand against the girl’s forehead and felt his heart sink.  They might’ve slowed the fever a little bit, but it definitely wasn’t going down.  He sat the pitcher on the bed table with a thump.  “I’m gonna go tell the others, and I won’t be long.”  But he doubted that she even heard him.

 

As he got out into the entryway he leaned forward against the banister and let his sorrow come to a head.  Adam Cartwright was – along with his many other attributes – a fighter, and he wasn’t about to give up on Celia.  That he could never do, not so long as there was breath in her body.  Even when it had seemed so hopeless, she hadn’t given up on him, so now it was his turn to do the same for her.  His fingers gripped the smooth wood, turning his knuckles white.  Then his name came on a sigh, and a light touch rested on his back, and he looked up into the troubled eyes of Ham Tyler.  Lyle Jasper was standing behind him, and the look on his face was equally disturbed.  

 

“We can’t bring her fever down.  I’ve brought in pitcher after pitcher of cold water from outside and it isn’t helping.  If there was a way that we could get her into it all at once, but we don’t want to get that wound that wet.  It’s red and we’ve been keeping hot compresses on it.  I’m at my wit’s end, and I just don’t know anymore,” he said and shook his head, “but I’m open to suggestions.”

 

The three men went pensive, and the stillness could have been splintered by the dropping a pin.  Even the mantle clock in the parlor seemed to stop its metronomic ticking.

 

Suddenly, the front door burst open and Matt blustered in breathless, red-faced and with three sets of bulging saddlebags slung over his shoulders.  In all the concern for Celia they hadn’t even realized that he wasn’t in the house.

 

“Here,” he said as he came forward and thrust the bags toward Adam.  “They’re full of snow.”

 

Adam didn’t ask for an explanation or even wait for one – he simply took them and rushed back into the bedroom.

 

*******

 

Ham and Matt were sitting at the table in the kitchen while Lyle was at the stove preparing a late breakfast.  It wasn’t that anybody had all that much of an appetite, but cooking made him feel like he was contributing in his own small way.  Matt was nursing a cup of tepid coffee that he had no real interest in and hadn’t even tasted, and Ham reflectively watched his deputy over the rim of his own cup while he sipped.

 

Lyle took an egg from the basket on the breakfront and broke into the hot fat, and it sputtered and complained.  He’d collected the eggs this morning since Adam and Ham hadn’t been able to and Matt – he’d assumed – was still asleep on the settee.  He grinned inwardly as he broke two more eggs into the skillet and replayed the image of Matt barging in with the filled saddlebags.  Snow, where on Earth had he found snow?  It didn’t matter, it was here, and maybe it would do some good.

 

Ham watched Matt and counted his blessings.  He’d said he’d been deputy to the sheriff in Tucson, and he was looking for work, and he’d produced credentials to prove it.  He hadn’t explained why he’d left his last position and Ham hadn’t questioned him about it.  But he could see that the young man was sincere, so he’d decided to take a chance and took him on.  He hadn’t regretted his decision and knew now that it had been the right one.  The cup hid his smile as he took another sip and looked into its dark dregs.

 

Matt sat with both hands wrapped around his cup and didn’t notice that it wasn’t as hot as it had been.  The only thing that consumed his mind was Celia.  He didn’t know if his effort would do any good, but he’d known that he had to try.  His eyes closed, and he went back to the first time he’d ever seen her.  He’d come with the sheriff to see about taking a room.  A well-rounded, dark-haired woman had answered the door, but while they were talking his eyes went past her to the delicate beauty that had just come from the back of the house.  She was wiping her hands on her apron and there was a smudge of flour on her face.  And from that moment on Mathew Payne – second born son of Daniel and Janella Payne – was lost.  He didn’t want to imagine his life ever again without her in it, and if he’d been able to he would have taken that bullet for her.  But his musings were abruptly interrupted, and his eyes flew open as a hand rested on his back and an urgent voice was coming at him.

 

“We need more snow,” Adam said, his dark hazel eyes flashing, “as much as you can get.”

 

Matt blinked and forgot about the coffee altogether. 

 

“And the sooner you can get it here the better,” Adam went on.

 

“Is it working?” Lyle asked as he stepped away from the stove holding a long-tined fork.

 

“It seems to be,” Adam said eagerly, “but we need more, a lot more.”

 

“Then I’ll get it,” Matt said as he shot up out of the chair.  He gripped Adam’s arm and a smile turned his mouth as he fingers tightened.  “And you take care of her while I’m gone.”

 

Adam grinned and slapped him on the arm then Matt ran out toward the front of the house.  Adam leaned forward and rested his hands on the table top.  He was utterly drained, and he needed to sit down, but there wasn’t time.  His eyes lit on the full cup, and he picked it up and took a drink, and it made him shiver.  There was nothing like cold coffee, but he didn’t time to worry about that now, he had to get back to Celia.

 

ELEVEN

 

The small expedition made its way up one of the high, wooded hills that backed the town.  Matt Payne, Milt Rhodes and nine other men on horseback, along with Jake Flowers driving a wagon loaded with five good-sized barrels and shovels were eager to make their destination.  Time was not in their favor and speed was of the essence, and they hurried as much as they could up the rough, steadily climbing terrain.

 

The team – Midnight and a brawny chestnut – were pulling with everything they had, and the wagon creaked and jostled Jake from side-to-side.  But the wiry little man paid it no mind, he’d driven wagons and horses and even a stagecoach or two most of his life and this was old hat.  “Come on, Midnight!” he shouted above the noise as he snapped the reins against their backs.  “You too, Blaze!”

 

As they climbed snow became more evident, at first as only a light sifting that gradually got deeper as they went.  It impeded their progress, but they were on a mission to help Miss Celia and that alone drove them on when others might have turned back.

 

Matt looked around as they came into a fair-sized clearing wreathed by huge pines.  “This should do it,” he said as he reined in and got down.

 

The snow here looked to be six to seven inches deep, maybe even ten or a foot where it had drifted.  The rest of the men dismounted and Jake clambered down from the seat.  Two went around to the back of the wagon and dropped the tailgate, and Jake got up into the bed and started doling out shovels.

 

“All right,” Matt said with authority, “let’s get at it.  Let’s not keep the lady waiting any longer than we have to.” 

 

Now began the laborious and time-devouring work of filling the barrels and getting them reloaded.  As one was hefted to the ground frantic crunching filled the pristine silence and the cold, crisp air and transparent white plumes floated away as men and horses puffed and their breath became visible.

 

A hawk soared overhead and surveyed the scene below with cautious eyes to make sure these trespassers posed no threat.  Men up here were not unheard of but were infrequent enough to be a cause for alertness.  Then, when he was assured that there was no reason for alarm, he simply ascended over the trees and was gone.

 

*******

 

Adam came in through the back door with the pitcher.  The snow had long since melted away, and he’d been returning to the water in the rain barrel and even that wouldn’t hold out forever.  It didn’t work as well but it was better than nothing.  Ham and Lyle sat at the little table playing two-handed poker and using matchsticks – spent and unspent – as ante.

 

“Bad again?” Lyle asked as he threw in two cards.

 

“Her fever’s gone back up.  The snow was working, but we just didn’t have enough,” Adam said without breaking stride.  “And if they don’t get here soon.”  He didn’t finish and went out into the hall.

 

Ham slammed his three cards down in front of him and cursed.  “I sure do wish I’d run that bastard off.”

 

“You didn’t have any reason to believe he’d do something this stupid.”

 

“Then I’m the only one.”

 

Adam filled the wash basin, and the whole process started all over again.  Mrs. Hutchins dipped the cloth into the cold water and washed her daughter’s neck and face.  Celia had become restless again and was murmuring as her hands clenched around the quilt.

 

“Still delirious,” he said and sat the pitcher down.

 

“I wish they’d hurry and get back with that snow,” she said as she fought against her daughter’s tossing.  “She’s just getting hotter.”

 

“I think I’ll go out on the porch and see if there’s any sight of ‘em.”

 

“All right, but you put on a coat.  We don’t need two sick.”

 

He smiled and gave her arm a pat then left the room.

 

Adam stepped out the front door as he shrugged into his coat.  He didn’t actually expect them back so soon since they’d only been gone for about three hours, and where they were headed he knew the going would be arduous.   But he’d hoped it might reassure Mrs. Hutchins to act as if he expected them.  And what about when it turned into four, five and even six hours and still no sight of them, what then?  He shook off the notion that they wouldn’t get back in time and decided to step down into the street.  It wasn’t that this was going to get them there any faster, but it did make him feel like he was doing something else to help.  “Don’t fool yourself, Cartwright,” he said under his breath and went down the steps. 

 

He pulled his collar up around his neck and looked up to the gray, threatening sky.  The sun seemed to have a hazy film over it that prevented its warming rays from reaching the Earth.  He stuck his hands in his pockets and tucked his arms in close to his body and began to wander aimlessly in the direction of town. 

 

The snow had been lowering Celia’s temperature, and he liked to think that this had bought them some time.  Time was a valuable commodity that sometimes seemed to be in short supply and could prove to be fleeting.  And sometimes there wasn’t a thing anyone could do about it.

 

He stopped and let his mind continue its wandering; he didn’t want to stray too far from the house.  Mrs. Hutchins was wearing herself down, and he worried about her, but then he was doing the same thing.  Lyle was manning the kitchen – though food wasn’t in any great demand – and practically holding a gun on them when they didn’t want it.  Ham wasn’t doing much, what with his bum wing, except give moral support, a valuable commodity in and of itself.  And then there was Matt.  He’d proved himself time and again, and Adam knew that Celia could do a whole lot worse than Matt Payne. “She could’ve picked you,” he muttered with a snort.  But his amusement quickly faded as his eyes went to the bedroom window.  “They’re coming, Celia.  Wait for them.”

 

With a deep breath and straightening his back he started toward the house.  Standing out here and turning an unflattering shade of blue wasn’t going to help anything.  And, after all, it was a durn sight warmer for his outsides and had hot coffee for his insides.  He trudged up onto the porch but stopped and looked toward the hills.  “Hurry, fellas, hurry.”  Then he went in and closed the doors behind him.

 

*******    

 

Adam had been forcibly run from the room by Mrs. Hutchins and ordered to get something to eat and some rest.  The former hadn’t interested him, but the latter had been easier.  He was leaned back on the end of the settee, his long legs stretched out in front of him with the backs of his boot heels against the floor.  One arm hung off the side and the other was in his lap.  His head was dropped to one side, and the usual black wisp had fallen over his forehead.  He didn’t snore and never had, but it wasn’t hard to tell that the man was asleep.

 

Adam landed hard against the boardwalk – shots whizzing over him – and it jarred him up good when he hit, but even as he lay there something continued jostling him.  Then his name was coming at him and the agitation in the voice made him take notice.  He forced himself to pry his eyelids apart and found he was looking into the excited face of Ham Tyler.  “What?” he asked, his voice still shrouded in sleep and tried rubbing it from his eyes. 

 

“They’re back.”

 

Adam was instantly awake and sat bolt up.  “And Celia?”

 

“Still with us.”

 

Adam was immediately on his feet and headed for the front door, with Ham right behind him.  As he got out onto the porch the most wonderful sight greeted him.  Twelve exhausted, red-faced men were unloading five snow-packed barrels from the back of a wagon pulled by two equally exhausted and puffing horses.  He clipped down the steps as the first container hit the ground with a dense thump.  “You took your time,” he said brightly.

 

“Hey, you’re lucky we got back at all,” Matt said as he jumped into the wagon bed.  “I thought Jake was gonna break an axle, the way he was drivin’.”

 

“I think I’s been doin’ this longernuf to know what I’s doin’.  Sides, I got it here, didn’t I?” Jake said with a crooked grin then went to check on his horses.

 

“How’s Celia?” Matt asked, the cheerfulness fading from his face.

 

“She’s holding on,” Adam said.  “Now let me give you fellas a hand,” and he climbed into the back of the wagon.

 

“Anybody use another pair of hands?” Lyle Jasper said as he bounded to the ground and waded in to help.

 

“Good boys,” Jake said softly as he stroked the big horse’s faces.  “You deserve somethin’ special tonight.”  He gave them each a pat on the jowl.  “Good boys.” 

 

*******

 

Celia had been laid on several thicknesses of quilts, bedspreads and blankets in an effort to keep the water from soaking into the mattress; a feather bed was a chore and a pain to dry out.  Her mother had removed the nightshirt and placed a sheet over her top half and another over the lower, leaving the wound exposed.  She’d then been covered by the snow, being careful not to get it wet.  Adam sat slumped in the chair with his head resting in his hands.  It had been his turn to insist that Mrs. Hutchins get some rest.  She was again asleep on the bed by the door.

 

Yesterday had been a long day that had worked its way into a long night.  He wasn’t exactly sure what time it was, but he knew it was early.  Morning light had begun peeping its way into the room through cracks and crevices around the curtains.  Celia still hadn’t moved though maybe she wasn’t quite as hot as before.  And she’d been quiet for nearly as long. 

 

Celia couldn’t remember ever being so cold in her life.  And she felt weighted down as if someone was sitting on her chest and legs.  She tried moving her arms, but they seemed pinned down as well.  About the only thing that would move was her head.  Slowly, she opened her eyes, and it took several seconds to get reoriented.  She appeared to be in her own bedroom, but then why was it so cold?  Her eyes didn’t even seem to want to cooperate as she let them drift to the right.  A dark man dressed all in black was sitting in a rocking chair, his face hidden by his hands.  She watched him as he sat motionless and let her fuzzy brain try to process who he might be.  She blinked wearily, and her gaze wandered over him as it began to register that she did know him.  Then one corner of her mouth turned in a weak imitation of a half smile.  “Adam,” she said hoarsely.

 

He wasn’t sure he’d heard something, until it came again, and he understood that it was his own name.  His head rose, and his heart came close to leaping from his chest.  He jerked to his feet and was instantly bending over her.  “Celia,” he said as he felt her face and forehead and was relieved and pleased to find that the fever appeared to have broken.  “How do you feel, sweetheart?”

 

“I’m ccccold.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Good…?  I’m ffffreezing.”

 

“Well, we’ll have you warmed up before too long.”  He smiled and felt the burn behind his eyes.  “You’ve been a very sick girl.  We’ve all been worried about you, but I think everything’s gonna be all right now.”

 

“Mmmother?”

 

“She’s right here.”

 

“And… Matt?”

 

“Don’t worry, he’s not far away.”  He pushed her damp hair back from her face with his fingers.  “Now you just rest.”

 

He went to the small bed and woke Mrs. Hutchins, who was at her daughter’s side in a flash, tears running unimpeded.  With a glance back at them, he went out into the entryway and started for the kitchen from where a trace of light came out into the hall.  There were three others that he had to tell, one in particular.

 

Ham and Lyle were once again playing cards, and Matt was sitting in another one of the chairs that had been brought from the dining room with a cup of coffee watching them.  He was the first one to see Adam come in, and he came hastily to his feet, knocking his chair over.  Ham and Lyle did the same, only with a bit more control.  Adam could see by their faces that they dreaded what he was about to tell them.  He went straight to Matt and put a firm hand on his shoulder and broke into a toothy grin.  “I think we’ve got our Celia back.”

 

A whoosh of air ran through the room as they all sighed at once.  It was if a welcoming spring breeze had come and blown away the anxiety that had taken up residence in the big house.

 

“Her fever appears to be broken, and she’s awake,” Adam said as Lyle gave him a slap on the back.

 

“When can I see ‘er?” Matt asked.

 

“Let’s just wait and see how she does.   She’s pretty tired and still in rough shape, just like anybody else who’s been shot.”

 

“Well, it looks like I’d better get breakfast started,” Lyle said briskly as he went to the breakfront and picked up the egg basket.  “Today I think everybody’s gonna have an appetite.”  Then he went out the back door into the gathering dawn.

 

Adam, Matt and Ham just looked at each other as words got lost in feelings.  Celia was awake, and a new day was just beginning.  And Lyle was right; appetites were going to be in full swing today.

 

TWELVE

 

In spite of the care that had been taken, the mattress had still gotten wet.  Adam was coming down the steps backwards with one of the dry ones from upstairs, and Lyle was at the other end.  The thing was unwieldy and limp and seemed to have a mind of its own.  Whichever way they wanted to go it wanted to go the opposite.  Ham was standing down in the entryway trying to direct them. 

 

“Adam, you need to go a little bit to the right.”

 

“Ham, if I go any to the right I’m gonna hit the banister.  Lyle, will you slow down?  You’re about to get ahead of me.”

 

“I can’t even see you.  This thing is plumb alive.”

 

“Well, then maybe if you go to the left.”

 

“Who’s left?  Mine or Lyle’s?  Lyle, slow down.  Better still, stop.”

 

“What?”

 

Just then the bedroom door jerked open and Mrs. Hutchins came out on them.  “What’s taking so long?  And do you have to be so loud about it?”

 

Adam looked around and stopped, but Lyle didn’t and stepped on the end of the thing.  He fell into the railing – losing his hold on it – and the feather bed attacked Adam.  It flopped back and wrapped over him, causing him to lose his footing.  He fell backward, and all they could see was one flailing arm as he thumped down the stairs to land in a heap just as Ham hopped out of the way. 

 

The only evidence that Adam was even still there was the lump under the mattress and a pair of black boots sticking out.  Lyle bounded down after him, and Mrs. Hutchins was instantly to him, trying to roll back the aggressive bedding.  Ham stooped and helped her and Lyle get it back off of him.

 

“Adam, dear, are you all right?” she asked as she peered down at him.  “Adam.”

 

Slowly, his eyes opened, and he looked at Lyle.  “You’re right, that thing is alive.  I’ve just been devoured by a feather bed.”

 

A rattle of low, relieved laughter filled the small space as Mrs. Hutchins bent over him.

 

*******

 

A trifle sore from his little trek down the stairs, Adam stepped into the bedroom with a loaded plate and a glass of milk.  Mrs. Hutchins hadn’t been eating well and tonight she had no excuse not to.  Lyle had exceeded his own expectations with supper, and the men had plainly gorged themselves.  “I brought you some supper,” he said as he came around by the chair.

 

“And tonight I know I can eat it.  The smells from the kitchen have been about to starve me to death,” she said as he handed it to her.  “In all the years I’ve known him, I had no idea that Lyle Jasper could cook.”

 

“Well, you taste his baked chicken and fried sweet potatoes, and you’ll probably let him do it from now on when he’s here,” he said as he sat the glass on the bed table.  “You might even give him a job doing it full time.”

 

With a quizzical frown she took a bite, and her face lit up as she chewed.  “This is wonderful.  Men never fail to surprise me, and just when I think I have them figured out, one comes along and surprises me again.”

 

“It’s good to know that we’re not the only ones.  Women have been confounding me for a good part of my life.”

 

She laughed softly and took another bite.

 

“How’s she doing tonight?” he asked as his eyes went to Celia.

 

“After I got her dried off and into a fresh nightshirt, and she started warming up, she settled down into a peaceful sleep.  Her face is warm but she’s not as hot as she was.”

 

He touched Celia’s face and let his hand rest there.  “I’m glad I’ve been here through this.  It’s given me a chance to give back some of what you and she did for me.”

 

“You don’t owe us for that.  You were sick and in trouble, and you needed us.”  She reached out and took his hand.  “And, to tell the truth, we needed you.  You brought something back into our lives that we’d missed for way too long.  And this house will be your home for as long as you want it to be.”

 

He looked around at her and couldn’t miss the warmth in her loving face.  This woman felt toward him as she would her own son, and he didn’t require words to tell him so.  “You’re a dear lady, Elvira, and I love you both.  And it’s always nice to know that I have another home to come to and another family.”  He kissed her on the cheek and caught her tears glistening in the lamplight.  “Now you finish eating before it gets cold, and I’ll come back and spell you in a little while.”

 

Adam left the room and went back to the kitchen to see if maybe he could snag another bite or two of that delectable chicken.  As he went in, the room was lit and still toasty from the heat the big stove put out.  Lyle was alone and at the sink washing dishes, his shirt sleeves rolled past his elbows, and an apron tied around his thick waist.  “Where’re Ham and Matt?” Adam asked as he spied the platter with the remains of the chicken on the table.

 

“Ham went up to bed.  He said his arm ached, and he thought he’d just turn in,” Lyle said as he laid a clean plate aside.  “And Matt went back into town to check on things and thank a few folks.”

 

“And he has quite a few.”  Adam began picking at the little bits of meat that still clung to the bones.  “Without their help getting that snow here I don’t even like to think about it.”

 

“Well, if it hadn’t been for Matt’s idea in the first place.”

 

“I know.”  There wasn’t enough left to fool with so Adam gave up and went to the sink.   “It may’ve saved Celia’s life.”

 

“We were talking a while ago, and I asked how he thought of it.”

 

Adam picked up a towel and began drying a dish as he hung on Lyle’s words.

 

“He said he was so worried about Miss Celia that he just couldn’t sleep,” Lyle went on.  “It was real cold and dark that night.”

 

“I remember.”

 

“Then he got to thinkin’ about snow and wonderin’ if we’d get any,” he put a glass with the others, “and it dawned on him that it usually snows in the mountains and the hills before we even get any, so he decided to go take a look.  And he borrowed some extra saddlebags from the livery just in case he was right.”

 

“Smart boy.  But then love can sharpen the wits,” Adam said with a smirk.”

 

“Or dull ‘em,” Lyle said as he gestured to Adam’s black eye.

 

“Yeah,” Adam said with a laugh as he gingerly touched it.

 

Then the two men settled down into their chore as their laughter wafted into the stillness.

 

*******

 

For the next four days Celia gradually regained some of her strength and the fever gradually went away completely.  Adam and her mother took around the clock care of her and deemed that she still wasn’t up to visitors, a fact that was having an adverse effect on a certain deputy.  But Elvira Hutchins’ rule was law in the big house and Adam staunchly backed her on it.

 

The fifth morning was even colder and more threatening than the previous ones.  But those inside the house hardly noticed, it was warm and inviting and full of life, and it pulsated with the vibrancy that a man brought, and this one was blessed with four.

 

“Good morning,” Adam said chipperly as he came into the room with a tray.  “Your mother agreed with me that you’re up to solid food.  And you haven’t lived until you’ve had some of Lyle Jasper’s gravy spooned over bacon.”

 

“And I’m so hungry.”  She still winded easily, and she stopped to catch her breath.  “I honestly believe that you and mother have been conspiring to starve me.”

 

He sat the tray on the bed table and helped her sit up.  “You can’t rush these things,” he said as he plumped the pillows and leaned her back against them.  “Too soon would’ve only made you sick.”  He put the tray on her lap and a gentle hand against her cheek.  “Now you eat, and I’ll be right back.”  Then he dashed out again.

 

Celia found the strength and dug eagerly into the hot food, starting with the bacon.  With the first mouthful she had to agree this it was delicious, and who but a man would think of putting gravy over it.  She had to hold herself back to keep from wolfing it, it was all so good, and she was so incredibly hungry.  She swallowed a bit of egg then looked to the table and saw that Adam had forgotten to bring her something to wash this all down with.  The thought had no sooner come into her head when there was a light knock at the door.  “Come in.”

 

The door opened timidly and a head of full of wavy, chocolate brown hair poked inside, and a glass came into sight.  “Adam said I could bring you your milk.”

 

“Matt,” came more as a gasp.  “Please do.  I’ve only seen mother and Adam since I woke up.  I adore them both dearly, but it’s good to see somebody else for a change.”

 

He came in but left the door partially open.  “You’re lookin’ better ‘n the last time I saw you,” he said as he brought her the milk.  “You’ve got more color.”

 

She took the glass and leaned back into the pillows, it didn’t take a whole lot to wear her out.  She took a good drink then put the glass on the bed table.  “Sit down and visit with me.  I think we have a few things to talk about.”

 

He parked himself in the chair and watched her protectively as she continued with her breakfast.  He could tell that her strength had a way to go yet, but she was better.  Midnight blue eyes riveted themselves to her face and the paleness of it as Adam had carried her home after she’d been shot still shook him.  But now to see her with pink in her cheeks and eating did him good.  His beautiful Celia was indeed back, and he was content to just sit there and simply watch her.

 

“As long as I’ve known Ike Ratherton this is by far the… most stupid thing he’s ever done.”  She took another bite.  “Was anybody else hurt?”

 

“Just the sheriff, but he wasn’t hit too bad, and he’s fine.”

 

“Good,” she took a sip.  “I suppose you already have him locked up.”

 

Matt felt like he’d been slapped, he’d hoped Celia wouldn’t ask anything about Ike so soon.  But he had to know she would, and now he had to figure out how to tell her.  “Well, he… he, uh…”

 

She stopped eating and watched him closely.  The fork hit the plate with a clink and one hand went to her mouth.  “You had to kill him….  You had to kill him because of me.”  Her appetite gone, she set the tray aside.

 

“No,” Matt said strongly as he leaned forward and took her hand.  “You didn’t have a thing to do with that.  You didn’t make ‘im get drunk, and you didn’t make ‘im try to rob the bank, and you sure didn’t make ‘im shoot you and Ham.  He tried to make a fight of it, and he would’ve shot me or one of the men in the posse, so I had to shoot ‘im first.  And I won’t have you takin’ blame for what wasn’t even your fault.”  Without really thinking about it he moved onto the side of the bed and took her other hand.  “When I saw you like that it made realize more ’n ever that I can’t live without you, Celia Munroe.  Now, I know you haven’t said yes when I asked before, but I’m gonna ask again.  Will you marry me, Celia?”

 

She studied over the handsome face before her.  She’d known the answer to this question before he’d even asked it.  After that night when he’d hit Adam she’d done a lot of thinking.  Why she’d continued to say no she’d never completely understand, but it didn’t matter now because that was in the past.  “Yes, Matt, I’ll marry you.”  Then she jerked her hands away from him and flung her arms around his neck.  “Oh, yes.”  But a sudden, sharp pain in her side cut short her exhilaration, and her hand went to the wound as she gasped.

 

“Celia, are you all right?”

 

With her hand flat against it the pain began to slowly subside, and she caught her breath.  “I am now.”  She snuggled her head against his shoulder and felt his warm arms enfold her.  “I am now.”

 

Adam stood just outside the door, a smile of the sheerest satisfaction spread across his face.  Now he could go back to the Ponderosa and leave Celia to Matt and know that she was in the best of hands.  In the morning he’d head on out for home, weather permitting.  For all he knew, he could get up to four feet of snow on the ground, and – in a way – he wouldn’t mind.

 

Mrs. Hutchins walked up to him and gave him a good look.  “What is it?”

 

“I’ll let Celia and Matt tell you.”

 

Her eyes darted to the door, and Adam could see that she knew.  Delight filled her face and both hands went to her mouth and joyous tears flooded her eyes as he put his arm around her and held her.  Happiness had come back to the big house at the end of the main street in Gordon’s Junction.

 

THIRTEEN

 

Adam hadn’t told anyone he was leaving yet, but he knew it was time.  The possibility of snow was ever-present, Celia was getting better by the moment, and if he got caught here – what with no wire service in town – there was no way to let his family know.  And waiting around for a thaw and not knowing about his son would be guaranteed to send Pa into spasms of anxiety.  And Joe and Hoss would have to live with him that way.

 

The smells emanating from the kitchen made his mouth water.  Lyle was flexing his culinary muscles again, and this time Mrs. Hutchins was helping him. The thought of two such excellent cooks coming together for one meal made his stomach grumble in eager anticipation of what would be placed on the table that night.  They had promised a special meal to celebrate Matt and Celia’s engagement and both had been very secretive about it.  No one had been allowed in their domain lest the surprise be ruined.  Once, Mrs. Hutchins had even threatened Adam with a broom.

 

As Adam was coming downstairs Ham was taking his coat from the rack in the entryway.  “Goin’ somewhere?”

 

Ham glanced around at him as he managed to get his left arm in the sleeve then draped it over his other shoulder.  “I ain’t been into town since I more or less moved in here, and I need to show my cheery face and let folks know I’m still around.”

 

“You’ll be back by supper, won’t you?  If you don’t, Lyle and Mrs. Hutchins’ll come looking for you with shotguns.”

 

“Oh, I will.  Whatever they’re fixin’ in there has got me all curious and my stomach all ready.”  Then he slapped Adam on the arm and went out.

 

Adam grinned and shook his head then looked around at the bedroom door.  It was time to tell someone about his plans, and he would start with Celia.  He wasn’t looking forward to it, but there was no getting away from it.

 

“Come in,” Celia said as she closed her book and put it over on the bed next to her.

 

“I thought you might like some company,” Adam said as he poked himself inside.  “Since you and Matt decided to take the big step we haven’t talked.”  He sat down in the chair and leaned his arms on his knees.  “I know I don’t have to ask if you’re happy, it’s splashed all over your face.”

 

“I didn’t think I could ever be this happy again.”  But then she went aghast and blushed.  “Oh, don’t misunderstand, what we had last year were some of the most wonderful times of my life…” 

 

“But this is different,” he finished.  “I do understand.”  He took her hand.  “And I wish you both all the happiness that is humanly possible for two people.  Have you set a date yet?”

 

“We’ve pretty much settled on next month after I get back on my feet and get my strength back.  And we want you to be there.”  A slow frown materialized as she watched him.  “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing’s wrong.”  He leaned back in the chair.  “But part of the reason I came in here was to tell to that I’m leaving for home in the morning.  Winter is beginning to make its presence known, and I don’t wantta get snowed in on the trail. And, before you ask, I can’t stay here.  I couldn’t let my family know what happened, and they’d worry.”  He took her hand again and squeezed her fingers.  “Now don’t let my not being there spoil it.  Maybe next spring I can come back and bring you and Matt a belated wedding gift.”  He sniggered.  “It’ll take me that long to think of something special for a special bride, and her husband.  Now let’s talk about something more pleasant, like your engagement supper.  Do you have any idea what your mother and Lyle have planned?”

 

“No, and she’s being as tight lipped as a clam about it.  But she’s having so much fun, and after I almost died.”

 

“We won’t talk about that.  This is a happy time.”

 

Matt came into the entryway and started taking off his coat and hat, but froze when he heard laughter coming from the bedroom.  He couldn’t really tell who it was at first, but as he got closer he knew that it was Adam and Celia.  A tiny spark tried igniting at the back of his head and a green glint danced in his eyes.  No, he trusted Celia.  And Adam had given him no reason to believe that he couldn’t be trusted too.  He shook his head, and – resisting the temptation to look in on them – he started down the narrow hall toward the kitchen. 

 

Mrs. Hutchins stern, loud voice tore through the house like a sharp wind.  “Mathew!  Out!  Out!”  

 

*******

 

Just as the night’s repast, except for the main part, was being placed on the table, Adam came into the dining room carrying Celia in her robe and slippers.  “She insisted,” he said as he settled her into a chair.  “And you know how she is when she gets the bit in her teeth.”

 

Mrs. Hutchins frowned at her.  “I know only too well.”

 

“Well, I couldn’t very well miss my own engagement supper,” Celia said as her sparkling eyes caught Matt’s.

 

Ham whistled through his teeth and all eyes followed his.  Lyle came through the door with a large roasted pheasant stuffed with sage and onion bread dressing on a platter.  The smell alone made mouths water and it was a delight to the eye with its golden skin and surrounded by browned potatoes.

 

“I asked Milt Rhodes to get us the finest bird he could, and when he heard what I wanted it for he wouldn’t take any money for it.  He said it could be his wedding gift.”

 

After everyone was seated and a proper grace said it was time for a toast, and the honor was passed to Adam.

 

He stood and smiled at the happy couple.  “Celia, Mathew, you’re embarking on a journey through life together.  There’ll be rocks and shoals and storms, but there’ll also be sunshine and pastures and cloudless skies.  The good times will be more pleasant and the hard times more bearable as long as you go through them hand-in-hand.  And with love as the mortar that you build your new life with, no force can crumble it.”  He picked up his wine glass and held it up.  “So I raise my glass to you and your marriage: may it endure for all of eternity, in this life and the next.  Here’s to the future Mr. and Mrs. Mathew Payne.”

 

The toast was drunk to around the table, and Celia fairly glowed like a candle as Matt took her hand.  She mouthed a ‘thank you’ as she looked at Adam, and he nodded.

 

Then the food was served and it turned out to be as much a feast for the palate as it was the eye.  Adam couldn’t help but watch Celia and know that he’d made the right decision.  This was like having a sister, and he was glad that he was here for her this evening.   

 

*******

 

A familiar voice called his name as Adam was on his way up to bed.  He turned and Matt was standing at the foot of the stairs.  “Yeah, Matt, what is it?”

 

Matt came up the steps and stopped in front of him.  “Celia told me that your headin’ out in the mornin’, and I just wanted to say good-bye in case I don’t get the chance before you ride out.  I also want to thank you again for what you did in town that day when Ratherton…  Thank you for bein’ such a friend to Celia.”  He ran his fingers back through his hair.  “And I want to apologize for hittin’ you the other night.”  He extended his hand. 

 

Adam grasped it and pumped it firmly.  “As far as I’m concerned it’s forgotten about.  I’ve seen men in your condition before, in fact; I’ve been that way myself a few times when I was younger.  But after you’re married try to keep a tight rein on it.  Before you marry a woman it’s flattering, but after that ring goes on her finger it loses its appeal.  I’ve seen that too.”

 

Matt grinned and ducked his head briefly.  “I’ll try to remember that.  A woman’s temper can be a painful thing, especially when you’re on the wrong end of it.”

 

“That I know from personal experience,” Adam said with a snort.  “Now I’ve got to turn in because tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”  He gripped the young man’s shoulder.  “I’d ask you to take care of her, but I know don’t have to, so I’ll just wish you a long life together and go to bed.  Good night, Matt.”

 

“Good night…, friend.”

 

With a nod and a wink Adam turned and went up to his room.  Matt left the stairs and went outside; he had rounds to make in town before he returned to the jail.  With Ham still laid up, it was his job alone now.

 

******* 

 

There was a light powdering of snow on the ground the next morning when folks got up.  Adam knew he was running out of time, and he could only hope that he got home before it hit full force.  Sport was tethered in front of the house and ready to go.  He’d already had breakfast; meager as it was, and all he had to do was say his good-byes.  He found Lyle helping Mrs. Hutchins clean up the breakfast dishes and skillets in the kitchen.

 

“Well, I’m all set,” he said as he came in.  “I just need to see everybody first and then I’m off.”

 

Mrs. Hutchins wasn’t doing well at hiding her feelings, and her smile was less than cheerful.  “I do wish you would wait out the winter with us.”

 

“I wish I could, but I’ve got family waiting for me, and they’ll be upset if I don’t get home.”

 

“I know, but the thought of you getting caught in…”  The tears she could no longer hold back. 

 

Adam put his arms around her.  “I’ll be all right.  I’ve got plenty of provisions, a good horse, and it’s not like I haven’t been out in the snow before.”  His raised his eyes to Lyle and his right hand took the man’s in a steady grip.  “It’s been good getting to know you, Lyle.  And I don’t like to think what it would’ve been like around here without you.  You’ve held things together, especially in the kitchen.  If you ever get tired of being a peddler and want a job as a cook, just let me know.”

 

“I’ll do that, and you listen to the lady and take care of yourself.  I’ve lost too many friends to wantta lose another.”

 

“I will, you’ve got my word.”  He gave Mrs. Hutchins a hug and kissed her then went out into the hall.

 

Adam knocked at the bedroom door and went in before Celia got the chance to answer.  It was instantly obvious that she was bordering on crying too.  She was trying to look brave about the whole thing, but it was as transparent as a thin layer of ice.  “I wanted to say good-bye and make sure you’re doing well enough for me to leave you,” he said as he walked to the bed and took her upheld hand.

 

“And what if I told you I’m not?  Would you believe me?”

 

“Anybody with eyes wouldn’t.  You’re just as beautiful and filled with life as before.”

 

She gave a tug, and he sat down on the bed beside her.  Her heart was breaking as she looked at him.  Was it possible to love two men equally?  It must be, because she surely did.  And one was leaving her, maybe for good and all, and it was tearing her apart.  “There’s nothing I could say that would make you stay, at least for the wedding?”

 

“No, as much as I wish I could.  But you know how the weather is in these parts.  I don’t want people to have to wait until the thaw to find me.”

 

“Oh, don’t say that,” she said as she threw her arms around him, “not even as a joke, because it’s not funny.  The thought of anything happening to you is too horrible.”

 

“I’ll be all right,” he said as he rested his cheek against the side of her head.  He felt that stirring that he knew he had to fight off.  She belonged to someone else now and not to him, even if she ever had.  His arms tightened around her, and he knew this was as far as it could ever go.  He took her by the shoulders and held her away from him and looked deep into those incredibly blue eyes.  “Are you sure?”

 

She smiled with warm understanding.  “Yes, Adam, I’m sure.  I’m also sure that I love you both, but Matt’s the one I want to marry.”

 

“Then that’s good enough for me.”  He cupped her face in his hands.  “As long as you’re happy that’s all that matters.  But if he ever decides he doesn’t want you, you know where to find me.”  He kissed her lips lightly then took her hands away from his arms, and – his fingertips lingering to hers – he left the room and was gone.

 

Celia did love Matt; she knew it with all her heart.  Then why did she feel so empty?  She smiled as she realized that it was because one chapter of her life had ended, but a whole new, bright one was just beginning.  Her heart swelled, and she was grateful for having known Adam Cartwright.  “Be careful?” she whispered as tears spilled onto her face.

 

As Adam came out onto the porch he saw that Ham was standing next to Sport holding the reins.

 

“Well, about to leave us again,” Ham said as his friend came down the steps.

 

“Looks that way,” Adam said as he took the narrow strips of leather from him.  “But there’s nothin’ says I can’t come back some day.”

 

“We both know that ain’t gonna happen.  Maybe you can fool yourself, but it won’t work on me.  Once you get home this time you won’t be back.”

 

“Well, now you just never can tell,” Adam said with a grin.

 

“I think we can,” Ham said as his eyes darted toward the bedroom window.

 

Adam caught his insinuation instantly.  “You’ve always been able to read things pretty good.  But even though Celia’s out of my reach that way, she’s still my friend.  And she’s not the only one.”

 

“I know that, but it just ain’t the same, now is it?”

 

“Maybe not.  But I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what time tells us.”

 

“I guess.”

 

Adam took Ham’s right hand, careful not to hurt his injured arm.  “Thanks, Ham.  When I came here last year you were the first to offer me friendship, and when I was alone you were there.”  He shook his head and a gray mask cast over his face.  “When I think of how close I came to killing you it makes my blood run cold.  And when I saw you go down the other day I thought I’d lost a friend, and – like Lyle told me – I’ve lost too many already.  You take care of yourself, and if you’re ever out my way you look me up.”

 

“I’ll be sure ‘n do that.”

 

Adam gave him a pat on the shoulder then eased up into the saddle.  “Good luck, friend.”

 

“You too.”

 

Adam wheeled the big chestnut and headed into town at a trot.  As he came to the sheriff’s office he saw Matt standing on the boardwalk.  They exchanged grins and waves and Adam urged Sport a little faster and rode on out.

 

*******

 

It was three days later when Adam came through the trees into the clearing where the big log house comfortably nestled itself.  He reined in and just looked at it.  The snow had held off, and he’d made good time.  He drank in his surroundings and reveled in being alive.  After the ordeal that he and those that cared about him had passed through the previous year, he felt that he could tackle anything.  And he knew he’d make mistakes as the result.  

 

He hadn’t been wrong to step aside for Matt, and he didn’t regret it.  He knew that he would marry someday, but now wasn’t the time and Celia wasn’t the woman.  And while he wasn’t desperate enough to go searching for her, he knew she was out there.  And he had to believe the he’d find her when the right time came. 

 

He sat straighter in the saddle and felt the horse aquiver between his legs in its eagerness to get moving again.  He leaned forward and patted the shiny red neck then gave him a little nudge with his knees and they started on. “Come on, Sport, let’s go home.”

 

THE END

 

 

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