By: Lynne G.
Now that six year old Little Joe Cartwright had started school, he considered himself a big boy, so he decided that from now on he would do everything big boys did, like his two older brothers did.
One Saturday afternoon after lunch, Little Joe made an announcement to his family. “ Tentions everyones, I gots an ‘nouncement ta make,” the little boy began with a very serious look on his face. That of course made his family nervous as they looked at the little boy who was trying to act very grown up.
As his nervous family waited to hear what their little imp was about to say, they all thought, “ OH NO, now what ?”
Now that Little Joe had his family’s attention, he began. “ Kay. I dun’t want no innnerruptions, so listen up.” His family loved the way the little boy said, “ interruptions .”
Taking a deep breath Little Joe continued on. “ Now that I’mma in school, that means I’mma a big boy now and not no little boy no more. I can now do some of the fings that Adam and Hoss does, cuz they’s big boys !”
“ I wanna start ta bust all them bronco’s, cuz big boys do that ! I’mma also gonna help wiv the brandin’ too !”
“ Then I’mma gonna help round up all them moo cows that gets lost, and go on them moo cow drives too !”
“ When ever I go ta Virginia City wiv you guys, I’mma go ta that saloon wiv ya and gets me a cold beer, cuz big boys do that !”
“ The bested fing is I’s needs a big boy’s horse, cuz pony’s is fer little boys ! Almost forgotten one more very important fing and that is cuz I’mma a big boy now, I gets ta stay up late every night like Adam and Hoss does. Ok, that’s my ‘nouncement !” Little Joe finished explaining as he stood there with his little chest puffed out as he looked at his family who just sat there looking at him.
Ben, Adam and Hoss were trying so hard not too laugh out loud, but they couldn’t hold in their laughter anymore and soon loud laughing could be heard through out the large ranch house.
Little Joe stood there glaring at his family with his tiny hands on his hips. “ I dunt say nothin’ funny !” the child shouted as he continued to glare at his laughing family.
“ Oh little brother, what you just said was so funny !” Adam laughed as he couldn’t help himself. Hoss was almost rolling on the floor while Ben was holding his stomach as it was aching from laughing so hard.
“ I ain’t no little brother Adam ! I’mma yer big but short brother !” Little Joe declared. The little boy was so angry that his sweet little face was turning red with tears starting to fill up his big green eyes. He was one very, very angry little boy. Of course that statement brought even more laughter from his family.
Ben stood up and he walked over to his very angry baby son and he picked him up and carried him back to his chair and he sat down with the child on his lap and he began to gently rub the little boy’s back as that always calmed the boy down.
“ Sweetheart, I am so very sorry we all laughed at you, but you had just the silliest looks on your face that we…we just couldn’t help ourselves son, and that is why we were laughing so hard. We all know that you are a big boy now that you have started school. Please forgive us Little Joe for laughing…please ?” Ben finished explaining to his little son.
Little Joe looked into Ben’s eyes and he replied, “ Ok Papa, you’s all forgiven. Thanks Papa. See I just knowed that you would all know I was so right ‘bout me bein’ a big boy.” Little Joe was again feeling very proud of himself.
By now Adam and Hoss had settled down. “ Yup, Punkin, you sure are a big boy now that ya started goin’ ta school, and Pa is right, we were only laughing at all those silly looks you got on yer face.
Hating to ruin his youngest son’s feeling Ben continued on. “ Little Joe even though you are a big boy now, there are still many things that you can’t do yet because….because you are…a….ah….. too short, but as soon as you get a little taller then you can have a beer, break bronco’s, and round up the cattle, oh and yes, go on cattle drives too.”
Thinking about what Ben had just said, Little Joe started to think up another question that he felt was very important too. “ Papa, how tall does I gotta be ?” the child asked. Quickly having to come up with some kind of answer that sounded right Ben took a deep breath as he looked over at Adam and Hoss who both seemed mighty interested in what he was going to say.
“ Well Little Joe, you have to be as tall as your brothers to do everything you mentioned to us,” Ben felted very proud of himself for coming up with that answer. Both Adam and Hoss thought Ben took the easy way out this time, but they really couldn’t blame him. The more they thought about Ben’s answer, they hoped that their baby brother would accept it and not mention the subject again, but then this was Little Joe they were dealing with.
Little Joe thought about that answer for a few seconds when an idea popped into his head. “ Hey Papa, what if’n I dun puts tall wooden blocks on the bottoms of my boots ? Then I’d be as tall as Adam and Hoss !” Little Joe suggested. He felt so proud of himself for that brilliant idea.
“ Sweetheart, I don’t think you would be able to walk very well if you had tall wooden blocks on the bottoms of your boots. That would make you trip and you don’t want to fall down now do you ? Don’t worry son, you will get taller as you get older,” Ben explained. The child just let out a big sigh, but in his mind he thought, “ Dadburnit !”
Several days later the family went into Virginia City to get supplies. While Ben, Adam and Hoss were busy with other things that they needed to do while in town, Little Joe very quietly snuck off by himself and he headed over to the Bucket Of Blood Saloon.
It was a fairly quiet and slow day in the saloon as it usually was during the week during the day time. There were maybe around five or six cowboys in the saloon that afternoon enjoying their cold beers and busy talking about their day so far.
As Little Joe entered the saloon, all heads turned to see the cute little boy with curls falling down on his face from under his hat. His big bright green eyes were sparkling and he had a cute little grin on his impish looking face.
Sam, the bartender looked down at the little boy just as Little Joe began to speak. “ Hi ya Sam. How’s ya doin’ taday ?” Little Joe pushed back his hat a little farther back on his head as he continued to look at Sam. Some more curls fell onto his forehead when he pushed back his hat, making him look even cuter then he was.
Trying not too laugh at the youngest Cartwright, Sam answered the boy’s question. “ Just fine Little Joe. What are you doing in here ?” Sam asked already knowing that this little boy could come up with some of the silliest answers ever heard.
Sam had an idea that Ben most likely had no idea his baby son was now in the saloon.
Little Joe continued to smile at Sam and he puffed out his tiny chest and spoke right up. “ I’s a big boy now cuz I go ta school and us big boys drink beer. I wanna cold beer please Sam,” Little Joe announced.
Sam really wasn’t surprised by Little Joe’s request since everyone knew what a little character this child was.
The other men in the saloon laughed at what the little boy had asked for, but Little Joe didn’t pay any attention to them. No, he just looked up at Sam with his silly little grin on his face waiting for his beer.
Sam knew that he needed to come up with some kind of answer that the boy
could understand and he really wasn’t looking forward to that.
“ Little Joe, you aren’t old enough for a beer yet. Infact, you are too
young to even be in a saloon yet,” Sam said as he looked down at the boy
who was melting his heart.
“ I’mma just short is all Sam,” Little Joe replied as he stood up on his tip toes to make himself look taller. Sam was having an extremely hard time not laughing at what Little Joe was trying to do.
“ Hey Sam, what if’n I stand on a chair, then I be tall ‘nough,” the little imp suggested. After all that sounded right to him.
This was getting harder than Sam thought it would be. “ That won’t work son. You see, you need to have…to have your feet on the floor, but if you are standing on a chair, then your feet wouldn’t be on the floor, Sam explained , hoping that Little Joe would understand and leave the saloon.
The boy looked up at Sam with a very sad look on his face. “ Hummmm…I reckon yer right Sam,” Little Joe quietly said.
Deciding to make the child feel better, Sam asked, “ Big Joe, where is your father ?” Little Joe loved the “ Big Joe “ name that Sam had said, and he puffed out his chest again and gave Sam a big heart breaking smile.
“ Ummm, he, Adam and Hoss is at the store gettin’ supplies,” Little Joe told Sam, “ but they dunt know Imma here. Sam….please….please dunt tell em, cuz I dunts want my butt ta get warmed up, if’n ya know whats I mean,” Little Joe seriously explained to Sam.
Once again laughter could be heard in the saloon. All the men were thoroughly enjoying their afternoon show staring Little Joe Cartwright.
Trying not to laugh at the little boy, Sam coughed and said, “ Alright son I won’t tell your family that you were in here.”
Feeling relieved by Sam’s answer, Little Joe smiled at Sam and replied, “ Thanks Sam. Yer a real pal, oh and ya better see Dr. Martin ‘bout yer cough. I better get back ta the store before Papa finds out I ain’t there. See ya !” Little Joe ran out the door and ran in the direction of the store.
By now Sam was laughing loudly right along with the rest of the men in the saloon.
“ Ben certainly has a little character in that little boy. I’m glad he’s Ben’s son and not mine. I know I wouldn’t be able to surivive that boy. Poor Ben ! That child has way too much charm and he’s just too cute for his own good !” Sam told everyone. “ Ain’t that the truth, George Anderson said, and everyone agreed with George.
Back in the store Adam seemed to be looking for something. “ Pa, I haven’t seen Little Joe for several minutes, have you?” Ben looked around and he realized that his youngest son was no where in sight. “ I thought he was with you,” Ben nervously said. “ I ain’t seen him either Pa,” Hoss added. “ That boy is going to be…..” Ben started to say as Little Joe walked into the store as if nothing had happened.
“ Hi ya Papa, I’mma back,” the child causally announced as he smiled at his family who just stood there looking at him.
“ Where have you been young man ?” Ben asked as he stood there with his hands on his hips while looking at the boy in question.
“ Just out is all,” the little boy answered as he continued to smile at Ben with that look that always melted Ben’s heart. “ What do you mean, just out ? Just out where ?” Ben asked, not sure if he really wanted to hear the answer.
“ Hoss, little brother has been up to no good, so he thinks that if he uses that look, Pa won’t be mad at him,” Adam whispered into Hoss’s ear. “ You can say that again big brother,” Hoss whispered back. Both Adam and Hoss could feel that their baby brother had been into some kind of mischief.
“ JOSEPH, I am waiting for an answer as to where you have been young man !” Ben reminded his son, who was now looking rather nervous. For a couple of seconds, Little Joe knew that he had better come up with some kind of answer for his Papa or else and it had better be truthful too.
Taking a deep breath, and looking first at Ben, then at his two older brothers, Little Joe looked at the floor. “ Ummmm, ya see….well Papa, ‘member when I told ya all that I’s a big boy now..…’member??? Well, I gots ‘fursty, so I’s wented over ta the saloon ta gets me a cold beer, but Sam said I wasn’t tall ‘nough, so I ‘splained that if’n I gots a chair and stood on it, then I’s be tall ‘nough, but he said that ya gotts ta have yer feet on the floor. So if’n I was standin’ on that chair, my feet wouldn’t be on the floor. So I comed back here,” Little Joe explained the best he could.
In order to hold in their laughter, both Adam and Hoss coughed which caught Little Joe’s attention. “ Hey, Sam gotts a cough like that too. You guys better go see Dr. Martin and get some yucky tastin’ medicine. I dun told Sam that he needed to go to see Dr. Martin too,” the little boy suggested to his brothers. “ That’s a good idea little brother,” Adam replied as he smiled at his baby brother. Inside, both Adam and Hoss were laughing out of control.
Ben just stood there not sure if he had heard his little six year old son telling them that he had been in the saloon asking for a beer. “ No he really didn’t say that-did he ?” Ben thought. “ No I must have heard him wrong-I hope,” Ben thought again, “ but then we are talking about Little Joe .”
Finally able to find his voice, Ben questioned his son yet again. “ Joseph, did you just tell me that you went over to the saloon to get a beer ?” Ben asked hoping still that he had misunderstood his son.
With a big smile on that impish face, Little Joe responded to Ben’s question. “ That’s what I saided Papa. I wanted a nice cold beer cuz I’mma a big boy now who’s just short.”
Adam and Hoss couldn’t get over the nerve of their little brother. That boy would try just about anything to prove that he was a big boy.
Ben didn’t know if he should be upset, laugh or cry. He thought a good strong drink sounded great at that moment. “ Where have I gone wrong with that boy ?” Ben thought to himself as he looked down at the little boy with the face of an angel.
Mr. Cass, who owned the store had to go to the back room of the store so he could laugh without the Cartwrights hearing him. Nothing Little Joe did surprised him since he had seen that boy in action many times.
“ JOSEPH FRANCIS CARTWRIGHT, what am I going to do with you ? You aren’t old enough to even go into a saloon yet and you certainly aren’t old enough to drink beer either !” Ben loudly told his little mischief maker, who couldn’t understand why his Papa should be so upset with. After all, in his young mind, he was a big boy who was just short for his age.
Knowing he had to come up with some kind of answer, the child stood there thinking. “ Well Papa, how’s ‘bout ya just love me,” Little Joe suggested as he gave Ben one of his most prize winning smiles. Ben was totally speechless.
Adam and Hoss needed to go outside so they could laugh. “ I can’t believe what little brother did ! If he manages to survive until he is old enough to go into the saloon for a beer, it will be amazing !” Adam laughed. “ Ain’t that the truth,” Hoss declared as he too continued to laugh.
That night as Little Joe laid in his bed, he thought, “ Golly, I’mma a big boy, but Papa dunt fink so. He finks I’mma just a little boy, so I had better act like a little boy ta make him happy, but only when I’mma ‘round Papa. When Papa ain’t wiv me, then I’mma big boy ! Yup, I sure is a big boy. Big Joe, not Little Joe.” Soon big boy Joe was sound to sleep with his thumb in his mouth.
The End.