“Out of the Mouths of Babes”


It started out as just a normal evening inside the warm cozy living room of the Cartwright family.

Ben was sitting in his chair reading his new book, while his two older sons, Adam and Hoss were in the middle of their third game of checkers.

The baby of the family, five year old Little Joe was laying on the floor playing with his toy soldiers and Indians who were in a major battle. All four of the little boy’s very large cats were lying close to the child as if they were protecting him.

As Adam and Hoss were busy concentrating on their next moves, Adam suddenly noticed an unpleasant odor in the air as he sniffed and winkled up his nose. “What is that awful smell?” Adam declared as he continued to winkle up his nose.

Looking up at Adam, Hoss took a sniff, made a face and said, “Ewe!” By now Ben looked over towards his sons as he laid down his book and he too sniffed the air, and he made a funny face too. Little Joe continued to lie on the floor playing and acting as if nothing had happened.

“Joseph, do you need to use the outhouse?” Ben asked as he looked at his youngest son. The child laid down his soldier, looked at sheepishly at Ben and replied, “Nope, dunt gotta go. It was the kitties’ Papa!”

Looking at that look on his son’s face, Ben knew that it was his son who was the guilty one and not his cats. “Joseph!” Ben stated. “Um…I’s only tooted Papa. The kitties dunt toot!” the boy confessed.

A snicker could be heard coming from Adam and Hoss in reaction to their baby brother’s answer. It was hard for Ben not to break out in laughter too.

“Little Joe, that isn’t very nice to toot out loud, and I don’t want you to do that again,” Ben said as he looked at his son’s not so innocent looking face. “But Papa, I dunt hear no toot ya know,” the boy replied. That statement brought out more laughter from Adam and Hoss, while Ben just shook his head in disbelief at what his young son had just said.

A couple of minutes later, Little Joe looked at Ben and said, “But Papa, Adam and Hoss toot out loud!” “Oh they do, do they?” Ben declared as he glanced over at his two older sons, who were now both blushing and looking at the floor.

Shocked at what their little brother had just said, Hoss glared at the little boy who was trying to look as cute and innocent as possible and he declared, “Dadburn ya little brother!” Adam didn’t say anything, but he too glared at the child who now had a little grin on his face.

“Boys, by doing that, you certainly aren’t setting a very good example for your little brother now are you?” Ben suggested. “Yeah, that ain’t no ‘zample ya knowed!” Little Joe declared as he continued to grin at his brothers.

That statement also surprised Little Joe who stood up and walked over to Ben. He put his tiny hand on Ben’s leg and with a serious look on this impish face, he shocked Ben by saying, “But Papa, ya toot too cuz I hear ya!”

Ben couldn’t believe what his little not so innocent son had just said and he was thoroughly embarrassed now. He had no idea that Little Joe had been listening at those times.

Almost dying inside, Adam spoke right up, “Golly Pa, looks like you’ve been found out!” Adam was now laughing loudly with tears running down his face, while Hoss was almost rolling on the floor in laughter.

Of course Little Joe looked at Ben with a big grin on his face. After all, he didn’t think he had said anything wrong, but he did wonder why his Papa had a red face all of a sudden.

“Why’s yer face all red Papa?” the little boy asked. Ben couldn’t talk. “Hey Papa, dun ya teached Adam and Hoss how ta toot?” the child innocently asked. Now both Adam and Hoss were rolling on the floor with fits of laughter.

Completely shocked at how such a nice quiet evening at home could have turned out to be such an embarrassment, Ben finally was able to speak up, but he wished the floor would swallow him up at that moment.

“No I did not young man! Now, let’s please stop talking about this!” Ben shouted, but he added, “Will you please stop tooting too!”

Ben glared at his three sons and he made a hasty retreat out of the house. He had never been so embarrassed by his baby son or any of his sons for that matter.

“Oh boy little brother, you certainly made Pa turn red!” Adam laughed as he ruffled up the soft thick curly hair of his baby brother.

All of this got Little Joe to thinking if other people tooted too, so he headed out to the kitchen to have a little talk with Hop Sing. Poor Hop Sing had no idea what was about to happen next.

Hop Sing was just about finished putting the dishes away when he noticed Little Joe coming into the kitchen with a serious look on his face. He could tell by that look on the little boy’s face that mischief was on its’ way.

“Hi ya Hop Sing, whatcha doin’?” the child asked innocently enough, but with questioning eyes. “Hop Sing put clean dishes away. What you want?” came the reply.

With the look of pure innocence on his little face, Little Joe took a deep breath. “I’s gotts sompfin’ ta asked ya.” Hop Sing smiled and asked, “What little boy want to ask?”

“Hop Sing, does…does ya toot?” the child asked as he looked up at Hop Sing, and he waited to hear what his dear friend would say.

Confused, Hop Sing looked at the child. He didn’t know what that meant. “Hop Sing not know what Little Joe ask,” Hop Sing answered back. So Little Joe tooted, then he said, “That is toot!”

Hop Sing wrinkled up his nose and declared, “That not nice! Go use outhouse!” as he pointed in the direction of the outhouse. “But I’s dunt gotta go! I’s only tooted so ya knowed what I’s meanted. So do ya toot Hop Sing?” the boy asked again.
Shocked, Hop Sing glared at the boy, and almost shouted, “No, Hop Sing not toot!” Hop Sing then walked out the kitchen door in order to get away from number three son. He was mumbling away in Chinese as he left the room.

Standing in the yard next to the corral, Ben noticed Hop Sing come out to the yard. “Hop Sing, are you looking for me?” Ben asked as he smiled at Hop Sing.

“No, Hop Sing not look for Mr. Cartlight. Hop Sing need to get away from little boy. He ask naughty question!” Hop Sing explained as he now stood next to Ben. Ben shook his head knowing the question Hop Sing was talking about.

Oh no, he didn’t ask you ‘that’ question too did he?” Ben nervously asked. “If it about toot, yes he ask. Hop Sing not know that word and he tell little boy that. Then number three son toot so Hop Sing know what he mean. He naughty boy!” Hop Sing finished telling Ben. Ben agreed with that statement.

Ben was upset with his son, but then that was just Little Joe being himself. “I am so sorry Hop Sing. That boy! Where does he come up with questions like that? I tell you Hop Sing, if we survive that little boy, we deserve a gold medal or something,” Ben laughed as he slowly shook his head as he thought out loud, “Out of the mouths of babes!”

Smiling at Ben, Hop Sing totally agreed with everything that Ben had just said. “Hop Sing hope that little boy forget about that question,” Hop Sing told Ben. “I hope so too dear friend, but with Little Joe around, who knows,” Ben replied as they both laughed.

When Little Joe returned to the living room he told Adam and Hoss that Hop Sing was upset with him. “Golly, all I dun was ta ask him a question,” the boy mumbled very innocently.

“Now listen little buddy, everyone toots from time to time, which is perfect natural, but that’s something that people just don’t talk about, so let’s not mention it again. Ok?” Adam explained, before he added, “Hop Sing really isn’t angry, only surprised is all.”

“Kay, but its funny Adam!” the boy declared. “Yes I know it is, but….” Adam replied. Hoss nodded his approval too.

The next evening while the Cartwright brothers were in the barn doing their chores, one of the horses tooted, so Little Joe looked over at Dusty, Ben’s horse, and he giggled then walked over to the horse.

“Hey Dusty, ya ain’t ‘spose ta toot out loud cuz Papa dunt like that!” the boy told the horse. Both Adam and Hoss broke out in laughter at what their little brother had just told Dusty.

Several days later, Ben and Little Joe were in Virginia City to get the mail and some candy. While in town they decided to stop by the Sheriff’s office for a short visit with Sheriff Roy Coffee.

“Hi Roy!” Ben greeted his dear friend as he and Little Joe entered the office. “Howdy Sheriff Coffee! How’s ya doin’?” the little boy asked as he grinned at Roy. The boy was wearing his Sheriff’s badge, his toy gun and he had his handcuffs with him as well.

“This is a pleasant surprise. What brings you two to town on this fine day?” Roy asked as he smiled at Ben and Little Joe. “Our horsies dun brung us,” the child replied which made Ben and Roy laugh.

“We came to pick up the mail and get some candy,” Ben replied as he grinned at Little Joe’s answer.

While Ben and Roy visited, Little Joe went to play in the cells. He loved to play in them and to pretend that he was a prisoner.

About thirty minutes later Ben went to ‘break out’ his little prisoner, and he and the child were ready to leave. “Fank ya fer lettin’ me play in them cells. Sure is fun bein’ a prisoner!” The child walked over to Roy and he asked, “Sheriff Coffee, does ya toot? Papa does, and so does Adam and Hoss too!”

Roy was too shocked to answer that question and Ben was speechless, and once again, he wished the floor would swallow him at that moment, while Little Joe stood there patiently waiting for an answer. The boy still didn’t think it was a bad question to ask someone.

Finally finding his voice, Ben angrily spoke out. “JOSEPH FRANCIS CARTWRIGHT, how dare you ask Roy a question like that? I thought I explained that to you, and Adam also explained that to you, that you aren’t supposed to ask that question anymore!”

“Golly Papa, I’s just wanna know is all,” the child softly said as he looked up at Ben with his big bright green eyes that looked so innocent. He felt bad knowing that his Papa was angry with him. His eyes were now beginning to fill with tears.

Seeing how upset the little boy was getting and at how angry Ben was, Roy smiled and said, “That’s ok Ben. Please don’t be upset with him. He’s just naturally inquisitive!”

Roy didn’t have much experience with little boys. After all, he thought, “how is a child suppose to learn without asking questions?” He was also unsure of what kind of answer to give Little Joe.

Looking down at the little boy with the very large green questioning eyes, Roy took a deep breath and he leaned down and he whispered into Little Joe’s ear. “Yes I do sometimes son, but don’t tell anyone, ok?”

“I’s promise ta never tell no one. It’s our secret,” the boy whispered into Roy’s ear.

Ben stood there wondering what Roy and Little Joe had been whispering about. “What are you two being so secretive about?” Ben asked as he looked at Roy then down at his little son.

Putting his tiny hands on his hips, Little Joe looked up at Ben and as he talked to Ben, he shook his tiny finger at Ben. “Papa, it’s a secret ‘tween me and Sheriff Coffee! Yer a naughty Papa fer askin’ ya knowed!” Little Joe declared as he glared at Ben.

That made Roy laugh. “Guess you told him, right Little Joe?” Roy laughed. “Yup!” the child answered back.

Looking down at his little boy, Ben grinned and said, “Come on you little imp, it’s time to go home. See you Roy!” Ben took hold of the child’s hand as they headed towards the door. “See ya Sheriff Coffee!” Little Joe said as he waved at Roy.

“Bye Ben, Little Joe, see ya ‘round!” Roy replied. After Ben and Little Joe had left, Roy sat down and laughed loudly about everything Little Joe had said. “I bet poor Ben will be very happy when that little boy is grown up!” Roy said out loud to no one but himself.

On the way home, Little Joe fell asleep, so Ben put the little boy on Dusty with him and he tied the child’s pony’s reins to Dusty’s saddle horn. Ben leaned down and kissed the top of his baby son’s head. He then whispered, “Please dear God; please give me the strength to survive my baby boy. I love him so much.”

After another talk about asking certain questions, Little Joe promised Ben that he wouldn’t ask again. Ben hoped that his young son would keep his promise.

As Ben watched his ‘little tornado’ run out of the house one day, he laughed and softly said, “Out of the mouths of babes!”

The End.


 

 

 

 

 

RETURN TO LIBRARY