A European Trip

by Lyn Robinson

Ben was restless, he could understand Adam’s desire to show his wife some of the places he’d grown to love in Europe and Carole certainly deserved a break, but with two of his sons away the ranch was going to be very quiet. He still believed it would do Joe good to get away but with the prospect of his sons leaving the following morning he couldn’t sleep. About two o’clock Ben gave up trying to sleep and went down to get a drink. He wasn’t particularly surprised to find Joe curled up on the hearthrug, staring unseeingly into the fire.
Little Joe looked up as his father came over, “I heated up coffee, you want some?”
Ben nodded and Joe poured out a cup and refilled his own. Ben said mildly, “You ought to get some sleep Joe, it’s going to be a very long couple of days until you’re on the train.”
“I couldn’t settle Pa. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary. I know Adam didn’t arrange it deliberately, but it’s odd. I first met Marie in Reno...” His voice tailed off and he buried his face in his hands. Ben moved forward and gripped his son’s shoulder, “Easy Joseph. I know how you feel. There will be times like this for the rest of your life and I’m not going to pretend that there won’t. I still have pangs of pain thinking of the death of your mother and Adam’s and Hoss’. Anniversaries are always the worst but they have to be faced. I’ve always tried to keep busy.”
Joe didn’t answer for several minutes but slowly Ben felt his son relax. Little Joe looked up eventually “I’m okay Pa, just memories, not all bad. I can catch up on my sleep on the train. At least with Adam and Carole I don’t have to put on an act, they’ll understand if I’m unsociable. I think I’ll take a ride up to the Lake. We are going to be away a long time.”
Ben could understand his son’s need and he just nodded. He watched Joe ride out and then sat down by the fire. His youngest son had grown into a strong man and the tragedy had strengthened him. Ben was very proud of him and he sat for over an hour thinking of Joe and Marie and of his own Marie. Joe was so like his mother. Ben was very surprised to hear Hoss’ voice from the stairs “Pa you’ll get cold.”
“What are you doing up Hoss?” It was very unusual for the big man to waken in the early hours. Hoss shrugged “Restless. I saw Joe ride out. Is he okay?”
“Fine. Just too many memories to settle”
“A year ago this room was all ready for the wedding. I miss her, so I can imagine just how bad Joe must feel.”
“Time is helping him Hoss and this break will do him good.”
“Sure I know that and Adam will look after him but its sure gonna be quiet round here with all of them gone. I reckin I’m gonna miss my nephews near as much as my brothers.”
“I know what you mean Hoss. Hardly possible to remember a time without them. You could go too, you know. I’m sure it’s not too late to book an extra berth.”
Hoss shook his head “Nope. Someone has to help you keep this place together while they’re off gallivanting. Anyways I ain’t no sailor.”
Ben went over to his big son and put his arm round Hoss’ broad shoulders “Come on Hoss, I doubt Joe will be back until breakfast and you’re right, I am getting cold.” They went back upstairs together but Ben still couldn’t settle. He thought of his three sons, all that was left to him of three beloved wives, Adam seemed to grow more and more like Elizabeth as he grew older. Content in his marriage he had regained the serenity typical of his mother. Ben had long been very proud of his handsome, elegant, eldest son. Adam had perhaps the best brain on the Comstock and many people owed him a lot although sometimes it was his skill with a gun, which had saved lives. Now Little Joe was beginning to take the sort of responsibility his eldest brother had long taken. Ben knew that his youngest son, the gay, debonair flirt, had done a lot more that most outsiders had realised but now Joe had moved forward and Ben was confident that his son would curb his temper and impulsiveness to act in everyone’s best interests. Finally his thoughts turned to Hoss, in many ways the odd one out amongst his sons. Hoss always thought himself huge and ungainly next to his elegant brothers and while he was by no means stupid, his brain moved more slowly than theirs. Many of the technical details with which Adam was familiar were a closed book to Hoss, but when it came to practicalities or dealing with animals, he was the equal or more of his brothers. Ben knew very well how sensitive his middle son was and knew just how much he was going to miss his brothers and his best friends, even though outsiders would never guess. Ben remembered just how much Hoss had helped his little brother in the days immediately after Marie’s death and he was equally proud of his big son. Eventually warmed at the thought of his sons and the sure knowledge that he meant as much to them as they did to him, Ben settled for a couple of hours sleep.
The following morning Joe finished packing his things and rode over to Adam’s house to help his brother organise the family. They were catching the stage from Virginia City to Reno and Ben and Hoss decided to ride into town with them and bring the buckboard back. Adam left his brothers to finish loading all their luggage and went to join his father. “Is Joe okay? He looks exhausted.”
“He’s been up by the Lake most of the night.”
“His wedding anniversary.” Adam sighed heavily “If only she had been as strong physically as she was mentally.”
“Just let him be Adam.”
“Of course. I know my little brother pretty well Pa.”
Ben grinned “Sure you do, Have a good time and try not to get into trouble. I wonder if England knows what is about to hit her!”
Adam punched his father’s shoulder “Just try and keep the Ponderosa intact until we get back.”
Hoss wandered over “We’ll do that, you just look after Joe and my nephews.”
“How about Carole?”
“I’ve already told her to look after you, the only sane member of the party. I don’t want to have to come to England to rescue you.”
“That’s rich big brother, who rescued who last autumn?”
Hoss punched him and Adam rubbed his stomach in ‘mortal agony’ until Carole called “Come on or we’ll miss the stage.”
Ben led the way out and Hoss dropped his voice as he spoke to his eldest brother “Keep and eye on Joe, he’s very tense.”
“It’s not surprising Hoss today of all days, he’ll be okay.”
“Sure.”
“Hoss, one thing.” Adam put the restraining hand on his brother’s arm and turned Hoss to face him. “I somehow haven’t had a chance to say thank you. I know its going to be very quiet round here, just you and Pa and we’re leaving a lot of work on your shoulders, You know how grateful I am.”
Hoss took Adam’s hand “I’m very willing it’s the best thing for Joe. Just look after our little brother that’s all I ask and I know I don’t have to ask that.”
Adam strangely moved couldn’t find any words and pulled his brother close in a strong hug “Thank you Hoss.”
Hoss watched his brother go over and get up next to Carole but for a moment he made no attempt to follow. He stood blinking back tears for a moment, knowing just how much he was going to miss his brothers. Once sure that he had himself firmly under control Hoss pushed Chub on to catch up with his father.
All of them were quiet as they made their way into town, but as they forced their way through the heavy traffic towards the stage stop, Joe roused himself, not wanting to leave his father and brother worried about him. He began to tease Hoss about the amount he would eat at Christmas and the likelihood or otherwise of the Ponderosa being intact on their return. The others willingly joined in, each wanting to hide the emotions they felt at least from interested outsiders. Only Adam was quiet as he coped with the heavy traffic. It had been his idea and in many ways it was a good one but he was going to miss the ranch, his own home, to say nothing of his father and brother.
Once their things were loaded on the stage, Adam forced himself to join in the chaffing that was going on. Both Roy and Dan had wandered along to see them off and both promised to keep an eye on affairs at the Ponderosa. Joe was bemoaning his fate, he was exhausted all ready. He had done all the loading and unloading of luggage Adam always had something else to do. Hoss laughed “Makes a change for you to be landed little brother.”
The others all laughed and then as it was time for them to get aboard Ben and Hoss kissed Carole and got her settled with the twins. Joe shook hands with his father and clapped Hoss on the shoulder “See you end of March be good.” Then he too swung aboard.
Adam had already said all that he wanted and he just grinned affectionately “I’ll take care of them all and we’ll be back in March. I’ll write.”
Ben nodded and watched his eldest son get aboard and then the stage left. Hoss and Ben were in accord and turned down offers of a drink and left town straight away. Hoss forced a grin, “Joe needs a break and Adam will look after him.”
Ben smiled “Its only four months Hoss and they’ll all be home. We’ll survive Son.”
“Sure Pa.” The pair rode home in silence lost in their own thoughts.
Joe was very quiet as the stage made its way towards Reno. Adam and Carole had one of the boys each and for now at least they were asleep. Their parents talked quietly, both thinking of the journey east sixteen months earlier. Adam had begun to wonder if he would ever be free of the nagging pain in his back but it had finally faded and despite further trouble he was fully fit again. Carole was used to trains but unsure how she would manage on board ship. Adam told of his previous trip to England, the ship was of the same line but Adam didn’t actually know it. Adam tried to reassure her but Carole wasn’t at all sure whether she would be a good sailor. Adam shrugged, only time would tell, but he knew that he was a good sailor so one of them would be fit to look after the twins. Then he changed the subject to discuss what he was intending to do in England.
Joe sat staring out of the window, but not actually seeing any of the scenery. As though it was yesterday he could see Marie, ethereal in her wedding dress and so happy as they were married almost exactly a year ago. He wasn’t particularly sad just rather melancholy and lost in his own thoughts. He had already come to accept what had happened and was grateful for the time that he had with Marie. At least with him she’d had a few months of good life, little enough but all he could do. For his part he had learnt of a love so much more than he had ever imagined and knew that he had changed, with her help. Even now she was with him and he knew she always would be. Time passed without Joe really being aware of it and Adam, who had been watching his brother for some time, had to shake his shoulder gently as they pulled into a way station for lunch. Carole had already got down and Adam said “Lunch Joe. Are you okay?”
“Sure, just a long way away. I’ll bring Mark, you take David.”
Adam was reassured to see his brother put away a good meal and as they remounted the stage Joe grinned “I think I’m getting excited. We will have time to do some shopping in New York won’t we?"
“We’ll have at least forty eight hours and you’ve got plenty of time on the train to make out a list. Carole and I know most of the best shops so we can get a schedule planned.”
Carole was pleased as Joe chatted and played with the twins during the afternoon. Adam was relieved but he could still see the memories of the past lingering in Joe’s eyes and he knew only a small part of his brother’s attention was on the children and what he was saying. It was a long journey to Reno by stage and the twins soon became irritable and wouldn’t settle. All three adults were exhausted by the time they finally reached Reno and Adam booked them into a hotel, Their train left at one in the morning and Adam insisted that Carole got some rest first. Joe was far too restless and leaving Adam with the twins, he went over to the bar where he had first met Marie. Joe stood by the bar sipping a beer looking at the various saloon girls all so unlike his petite wife. So much had happened since he’d last been in the bar and memories were very close.
After an hour he left the bar and went for a wander round the town, just wanting to stretch his legs after the stage ride before being enclosed in the train. Then he went back to take over from Adam and let his brother stretch his legs too.
The twins were remarkably good on the train; they had both settled to sleeping through the night and were contented babies. The train kept good time and seven days later they arrived In New York. Adam had rooms booked at a hotel and leaving Carole and Joe there with the babies, he went to collect their tickets and confirm their bookings, He was gone a long time and when he finally came upstairs found Joe with Carole waiting for him. Adam looked very sombre and puzzled Carole asked, “Is anything wrong darling? Are the bookings okay?”
“Yes, no problem. Sorry I’m so late. I stopped for a drink.”
“ But there’s something wrong Adam. Are Pa and Hoss okay?”
Adam pulled himself together “Of course love. Joe will you take Carole down to dinner. I’m really not hungry.” He turned away and went over to the window “I’ve had a telegram from Edwin. You know he’s touring Europe and he knew we would be stopping here. Charles is dead. It seems he died from overwork, got into debt and then tried to do too many public readings to pay them off. Stupid isn’t it, I’ve more money than I’ll ever need and yet a great writer dies for lack of it. If only I’d known.”
Joe heard the bitterness in his brother’s voice but he also knew him well enough to know that all Adam wanted for the moment was to be left alone, He stopped Carole going over to his brother “We’ll go eat. I’m very sorry Adam.”
Carole moved over and kissed him “The twins are sleeping and we won’t be long.”
Adam nodded but didn’t turn. He had been looking forward to seeing Charles again, it had been a long time but the two men had kept in close touch by letter and the odd friendship which had grown up between them meant a lot to Adam. He had a great deal of respect for the older man and Charles had introduced him to many people when he was in Europe before. The two men had seen a lot of each other and found a great deal in common, both lonely in their own ways, and despite the difference in their ages, Charles being older than Ben they had become very close. Charles had found himself able to write things to Adam that he couldn’t tell anyone else and Adam, realising, had been pleased and had always done all he could to help. However money was the one subject Charles had never mentioned and now Adam blamed himself for not realising. He had known Charles was taking on a lot and he had even remonstrated with him but he’d not added two and two and realised that Charles needed money. It was particularly ironic now when Adam had more money than he could ever use. Adam pulled himself together as Mark whimpered and picked up the child but he was very upset.
Downstairs over dinner Joe told Carole just how Charles Dickens had first come to meet Adam. He had visited Virginia City on an American tour; giving readings from his work. Ben had been head of the welcoming committee but Dickens had been very brusque. Then on the first night he had been outraged to find people following his reading in copies of the local paper. Pirate printings of his work in the States were selling well and furious he had antagonised the whole town, until the Cartwrights took him out to the Ponderosa for his own safety. There, he and Adam had found they had much in common and when he wanted to go back to town Adam had taken him. In town Dickens had become involved in the murder of the editor of the local paper. Having threatened the editor for printing his work someone had decided he was the ideal scapegoat. Adam was caught in the middle and hurt but still covered for Charles. Roy had no choice and arrested Charles, reckoning he was safer in gaol. It wasn’t until Adam with his brothers’ help had found the real murderer that Charles realised how much the Cartwrights had been protecting him. The townsfolk collected his fine and paid it, begging for another reading and Charles who had started out despising these westerners, learnt from Adam to look behind the rough clothing of a mining camp to the people underneath. For his sake more than anything else Charles gave his talk. Afterwards he stayed for a few days at the Ponderosa and, although Adam hadn’t expected him to keep in touch, the letters came regularly at least once a month. When Adam went to Europe, the friendship had been cemented. Joe hadn’t been very old when Dickens came only in his mid teens and he didn’t remember him very well. He had just always known of Dickens as his brother’s friend and enjoyed his books. Carole had often heard Adam speak of Dickens, occasionally reading out bits of his letters but she was surprised how hard Adam had taken his death, apart from the eighteen months Adam had spent in Europe he had only met the man once. Little Joe grinned, “He’ll be blaming himself for letting it happen. Want to bet?”
Carole shook her head “No I saw that as well as you did but it doesn’t make any sense.”
“Adam has always had an unlimited ability to take the troubles of the world on his shoulders. You talk to him. He might listen to you. I know from experience he won’t listen to me.”
Carole finished her coffee “If you’ve finished Joe I’ll try to talk to my pigheaded husband,
Joe nodded and they went on up but Adam didn’t want to talk and turned the subject. They had two clear days and he had booked tickets for shows arranging for a nurse to watch the babies and arranged for a cab to take them shopping the next day. It wasn’t until they were in bed that Carole got him to talk, Adam told her a little of the friendship he’d had with Charles. With time to think, he’d seen how foolish it was to blame himself for not guessing what was happening thousands of miles away, but it was still ironic.
Long after Carole was asleep Adam lay thinking, not just about Charles, but the unfairness of life in general. Why some people were given so much and others so little, why those who did no wrong were taken while others immeasurably evil were left to thrive. Eventually he gave up trying to sleep, rang for a drink and sat reading his bible, trying to at least regain some measure of faith in a higher justice. He looked tired and drawn at breakfast but to his relief neither Carole nor Joe commented on it, they knew him too well. During the morning as they attempted to fit in all their shopping, including some things that Ben had requested, while trying to keep the twins from drowning out their requests with yells, Adam was far too busy to worry about the injustice of life and calmed down.
By the evening he was ready to enjoy the musical comedy that he had booked tickets for and made a good meal. The next day Joe was determined to see as much of New York as he could. Last time he had been there he hadn’t cared but now he was going to make the most of it. Carole was more than willing to see it again and bring back the memories of her honeymoon, so Adam good naturedly arranged it and they went everywhere, finishing the day at a concert where Beethoven’s Pastoral was the main work. Rather to his own surprise Joe thoroughly enjoyed the magnificent music, it sounded so different with a full orchestra compared to the rather tinny performances by third rate players, which was all he had heard before. He sat back and let the music envelop him and was more at peace than he had been in a long time. He walked back to the hotel with Adam and Carole but didn’t go in with them. Joe grinned “At last I see what you like about some music though opera you can still keep, That was magnificent, thanks Adam. Now I think I want a stroll before I turn in. See you in the morning.”
Adam nodded “Don’t forget we’ve an early start.”
“I know I won’t be long.”
Adam had seen how much Joe was enjoying the music and he was pleased “My little brother is growing up.”
Carole laughed, "He’s grown Adam! Now you come and get some sleep you had very little last night, Still I’m glad that Joe can see the beauty and peace in Beethoven’s music. It’s funny how the very name seems to frighten so many people, they never hear the music.”
“Its not really surprising darling, there is an awful lot of good music so badly performed, its enough to put anyone of. We get all too much of it. Frisco has some good musicians and just occasionally Virginia City does but for most of my life its been almost impossible to hear good music or see good plays. It’s one reason I’ve always enjoyed trips east so much.”
“The uncultured west!”
Adam grinned “Maybe but there’s always so many more immediate problems. Often plain survival. At least it’s alive you don’t get in a rut.”
Carole had to agree but then bullied her husband into bed; she was tired even if he wasn’t. Adam was at peace with himself again and he wanted his wife. He pulled her close and an hour later held her gently as she slept in his arms. Thinking of all the things he wanted to show her and thanking God for all the things he had been given, both material and far more important a wife and children he loved and who loved him and a very close family. He prayed that one day both his brothers would find the peace he’d finally attained. Eventually he slept and didn’t even stir as the twins clamoured for attention the next morning. Carole had just finished dressing them when Joe came in, all dressed and ready to go.
Joe took in his brother still fast asleep and looked anxiously at Carole, but she smiled reassuringly. Adam hadn’t been wandering around all night this time. Little Joe wet a sponge and went over to his brother, letting it drip onto the back of Adam’s neck. At first Adam just grunted and tried to burrow deeper under his bedclothes but Joe just pressed harder on the sponge. Adam sat up with a start and Joe hastily backed off. As though on cue both babies began gurgling and Adam couldn’t keep a straight face. He laughed, “You should be ashamed of yourself Joe, teaching your nephews bad tricks at their age.”
“Time you were up big brother. We don’t want to miss the boat.”
Adam had to acknowledge the justice of that and after a big breakfast they began the job of installing themselves with all their things on board. Adam, Carole and the twins had a large cabin with adjoining stateroom while Joe had a smaller cabin on the other side of the stateroom, but at least he had it to himself. The cabins were sumptuously furnished but Carole was still worried about sea sickness, Adam gradually calmed her down, pointing out she was sure to suffer if she got too tense worrying about it. At least they were able to have a good lunch in peace before leaving harbour.
Joe had already got on terms with the second officer and he learnt that they were expecting to take nine or ten days. Intrigued at the prospect of a long sea voyage after all the stories he’d heard from his father about Ben’s early days at sea, Joe spent quite a lot of time with the crew. He helped out on occasion and in return for their stories told them a little about Virginia City, just about the most famous city in the west. Within two days he was persona grata everywhere aboard, even on the bridge. Adam had also got on friendly terms with the Captain. The weather was co-operating and apart from a few tinges of nausea Carole was enjoying the voyage. The twins seemed to be revelling in the sea and were very little trouble. In fact Carole was almost sure that the nausea had nothing to do with the sea, but evidence that she was pregnant again. If so it was very early days and she had no intention of mentioning it to Adam yet, knowing he would fuss.
Adam couldn’t settle to the plans for the flume, he was enjoying just relaxing and pleased to see his little brother into everything and enjoying life in a way he hadn’t since Marie’s death. It was all so new to Joe that the emptiness and loneliness he’d felt, fell away and he was thoroughly enjoying himself.
Then on the third day out Joe heard some alarming news, five people had been taken to sick bay and the doctor had diagnosed diphtheria, one a young child had already died. Scared knowing how such illnesses could spread amongst a closed community such as a ship, Joe headed down to speak to his brother.
Adam was in the cabin with Carole. She had begun to feel ill, at first putting it down to the increased motion of the ship, but she had had to tell Adam when she started being very sick. She was complaining of a very sore throat and running a slight fever. Adam had just got her undressed and settled in bed when Joe came into the stateroom. Joe saw his brother come out looking rather harassed and suddenly scared, he licked dry lips “What’s wrong Adam?”
“Carole isn’t feeling too good. She’s been sick and she’s running a bit of a temperature. It isn’t really rough. I think I’ll get the ship’s doctor, just to have a look.”
“Has she got a sore throat?”
Adam stared at his brother at that question and what he saw on Joe’s face scared him. He moved over to his brother and gripped Joe’s arms “What is it Little Joe? What’s going on?”
The door to the cabin was shut, but both brothers kept their voices down not wanting to disturb Carole. There was no easy way for Joe to tell his brother what he feared but he only hesitated for a minute Adam had to know. Adam’s grip on his upper arms was painful, bruising but Joe was barely aware of it as he said, “There’s diphtheria on board. Five cases so far, one child is dead. I was just coming to tell you.”
Many years ago there had been diphtheria epidemic in Virginia City, not long after the town was founded, Adam knew the symptoms as well as Joe. Initially they were just what Carole had and then the deadly white patches appeared on the tonsils and throat, fever rose and the throat swelled, until breathing was difficult if not impossible and it was a race whether that or the fever killed first. They had both fought to save lives in Virginia City but with frighteningly little success, nineteen out of twenty smitten had died. Big strong miners reduced to death in less than forty-eight hours.
Adam went so white that for a moment Joe was scared that his brother was going to faint. He forced Adam down into a chair and poured out a large brandy “Drink this Adam.”
Adam made no attempt to do as his brother said and Joe held it to his mouth “Come on, we don’t know for sure yet.”
Adam forced himself to drink even though he had a lump in his throat, at least the brandy eased the cold in his body. He buried his face in his hands for a moment and then stood up straightening his shoulders “What’s the Doc like Joe?”
Joe hesitated but there was no point in trying to deceive his brother, “He’s half drunk Adam. From what I’ve heard he always is and the crew don’t have any faith in him. But drunk or sober you can’t miss diphtheria.”
“That settles it I’ll keep her here. She’s strong; we pulled some through in town I’ll pull her through. You take the twins out of it and just pray they haven’t caught it. Neither of us did before so we’re probably immune.”
“It might not be diphtheria Adam.”
“Don’t let’s fool ourselves Joe. I was scared it was something serious even before you told me.”
Adam hid all signs of fear as he went back into his wife. Carole was rather restless, her temperature rising and when Adam got her to open her mouth he could see the white blotches. There was no chance of error. Adam forced a grin “Rest easy my sweet, You’ve picked up a fever. Several people aboard have it. It’s not too serious but we can only let it take its course. You’ll just have nice time to recover before we dock,”
“What is it Adam?” Carole whispered her throat so sore it was an effort to talk.
Adam shrugged “The Doc doesn’t seem to know any name except ship fever. Joe’s been talking to him. It’s enervating and you’ll have a miserable few days but people usually recover fairly quickly.” Adam was so reassuring and there was nothing in the tone of his voice or in his eyes to worry her so Carole lay back and relaxed, trusting him.
Adam smiled “Good job we brought Joe along, he’ll look after the boys while I look after you.”
Carole let him feed her a little broth and then she slipped into an uneasy sleep.
Joe had already told the second officer and the crew were very ready to help the brothers anyway they could. The Doc already had the sickbay full to overflowing and there was nothing else anyone could do, except plough on towards England. Even if they made port the ship would be quarantined until there were no more cases.
Adam had water boiled and broth for her to drink, and got Joe to bring him supplies of dry linen. The Doctor poked his nose in once but apart from confirming the diagnosis he had no suggestions to make, He was keeping on his feet by plentiful recourse to the whiskey bottle and Adam was glad when he left.
Adam sat by Carole, holding her still trying to bring down the fever which could kill her with cold compresses and praying for her survival. At least the swelling in her throat wasn’t too pronounced and he prayed she had taken the disease lightly.
Carole was delirious now, no longer aware of where she was or what was happening but she seemed to sense Adam's presence and for hour after hour held onto his hand as though it were the only thing linking her with life. Adam had nursed his father and both his brothers and he had sat by scared while she had the twins, but he had never felt so alone and scared. He had insisted that Joe take the twins out and they couldn’t be left alone, so he didn’t even have his brother’s company throughout those long, lonely hours.
Next door Joe tended the twins, scared for Carole and for his brother, dreading the idea of Adam having to suffer as he had suffered, At first he only gave a little of his attention to the twins but then in the early hours a new fear grew. Mark was sleeping peacefully but David cried continually and then he was sick, Joe picked up the tiny baby, not quite six months old and he could feel the fever, the difference between David and his brother. He couldn’t persuade David to hold still long enough to get a look down his throat but the odds were long, David had caught the same disease, which was threatening to take his mother’s life.
Joe stared at the tiny baby, so many grown men had succumbed to diphtheria, what chance did such as tiny baby have, with no real strength built up yet to fight the ravages of the disease. He wasn’t even aware of the tears running down his cheeks as he face the prospect of telling his brother that one of his sons had almost certainly caught the same as his mother. It seemed such a short time ago that he had watched Adam bring the babies downstairs that first day, hating himself because he was jealous of his brother, who had all he’d ever wanted. Now after a few short months it looked as though their pleasure trip was going to turn into a disaster and Adam was going to lose nearly all that mattered most to him. On that thought Joe turned to Mark, but unlike his twin he was still sleeping peacefully. Joe wiped his face he had to separate the babies for Mark’s sake, it wouldn’t help Adam to lose both his sons instead of just one.
Joe wrapped up David as warmly as he could and then he went to tell his brother. Adam had to know and decide for himself what he wanted to do. Joe didn’t know how he was going to find the words to tell his brother but he had to somehow and there was no easy way to do it. He took a last look at Mark, who was still sleeping quietly and then he let himself out of the cabin and went into the stateroom. He placed David in a chair and made sure he couldn’t fall with cushions before going through to his eldest brother.
Adam was sitting where Joe had left him, holding Carole still, occasionally changing the cold compress on her forehead or wiping her body down as he fought the fever. Joe moved over next to him and felt her pulse, it was weaker than it had been and he could see that her fever was higher.
Adam looked up; “The swelling in her throat isn’t getting any worse. It won’t do any harm, if I can just break this fever...”
Joe felt her forehead very gently and bit his lip as he realised just how high her fever was. Adam saw the expression on his brother’s face and smiled faintly “I know Little Joe if it gets any higher it will kill her. I won’t let it, I won’t let her die, she’s strong and she has too much to live for.”
Joe gripped his brother’s shoulder; Adam looked desperately drawn now, although he was keeping calm as he fought for his wife’s life. Adam saw something else in his brother’s eyes and for the first time in hours he let go of Carole’s hand and turned away from her, He stared at his brother “Tell me Joe.”
“Its David. I think he’s caught it too, he’s burning up. Mark is fine but...”
Adam stared at his brother for a moment almost disbelieving, his whole world disintegrating on him “Mark?”
“Mark is fine Adam.”
“So far. Oh My God.” Adam buried his face in his hands. Joe didn’t know what to do, he knew how Adam was feeling but there were no words to help. He put his arm round his brother’s shoulders “We’ll save Carole somehow.”
Adam looked up at that “Where’s David? Bring him here.”
Joe went to collect the baby and passed him over to his father, Adam stared down at his firstborn son and then looked over at his wife. For a moment he knew utter despair but then he took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders “Okay Joe I want all the cot blankets and clean clothes we’ve got and I need a pipette.”
“A what?”
“Thin tube with some sort of bag on the top I can squeeze. Control the amount of fluid coming out.”
“I’ll make one somehow.”
“Get me more water and some milk if you can raise some, but get it boiled first.”
“Adam what are you trying to do?”
“Save my son, I won’t give up on him. I can’t keep Carole and then tell her that I’ve lost our son.”
“He’s so tiny Adam.”
“He’s a Cartwright, we’re fighters. I have to try Joe.”
Little Joe squeezed his shoulder “Of course you do. I’ll get what you want and I’ll be praying.”
Adam turned back to his wife and changed the compress and then settled David in the chair next to him and put a cold cloth on the baby’s head. Joe watched his brother for a moment and then went out to start collecting what Adam needed. As he did so an elderly lady opened her cabin door opposite and asked “Young man is something wrong?”
Joe had seen her around but they hadn’t spoken. She reminded him of his first school mistress and he went over almost automatically. “Its diphtheria.”
“I knew it was aboard. Who?”
“My sister-in-law and now one of her sons.”
“She has twin boys doesn’t she?”
“Yes Ma’am.”
“What are you doing?”
“My brother is trying to bring down the fever and I’m just getting what he needs.”
“What do you thinks his chances are?” This was said in a tone of casual enquiry as though asking the odds on a horse race and Joe lost his temper. Desperately worried the last thing he needed was idle curiosity. He glared at her “Virtually nil, he might save his wife but its long odds and a six month old baby...” His voice broke and he went to walk on but she put a hand on his arm and in a much softer voice said “They mean a lot to you. Bring the other child to me. I raised nine of my own. I’ll look after him, you help your brother.”
Joie was so surprised that he didn’t know what to say but he knew that Adam needed help if there was to be any chance and he found himself trusting this stranger. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t bother with anything, My name is Mrs Lewis and I get bored on this long crossing. What’s the baby’s name and how old is he?”
“He’s about five months old and his name is Mark. I’ll fetch him.” Joe went over to his cabin and brought the cradle over to her cabin. Mrs Lewis smiled down at Mark “Well he looks very healthy, Don’t worry about him, you go and get what your brother needs.”
“If he should ...”
“I’ll tell you at once but he looks just fine.” She smiled reassuringly and Joe left Mark with her, sure his nephew was in safe hands. Joe went to find his friend the second officer and described the pipette his brother wanted. Tom Jackson thought for a moment and then suggested going to speak to the chief engineer. When they explained what they wanted he made it up for them but shook his head gravely when Joe explained why he wanted it. Neither of the men believed there was any chance for the young baby and as Joe, in his heart, agreed with them he didn’t prolong the discussion.
Tom went with Joe to get some milk from the cook. They kept three cows aboard for the purpose. Joe boiled the milk as he’d been told even though the others looked on in surprise. While he waited Tom filled him in on the general position. There had been no more cases and the Captain was hopeful that they were over the worst of it. Of the forty-three cases in sick bay thirty five were dead, two on the way to recovery and the other six in the balance. Joe wasn’t surprised it was about the same mortality rate they had had in Virginia City. He didn’t want to discuss Carole’s chances and just finished collecting what Adam wanted and returned to his brother.
Adam was holding David in one arm while he tried to sponge his wife with the other. Joe came in and dumped all the things handing the pipette to Adam. Then he took over the sponge “Let me do that Adam.”
“Mark will be waking soon. I can mange, he can’t be left alone.”
“He’s not. Mrs Lewis, the old lady in the cabin across the corridor is looking after him. She said she has raised nine of her own and gets bored on long journeys.”
Adam looked up uncertain, not wanting to entrust the only remaining healthy member of his family to a stranger. Joe smiled at him reassuringly “You can trust her Adam. I’m sure of it or I wouldn’t have left Mark there and you need my help.”
Adam had to acknowledge the justice of that; he hadn’t enough hands to do all he wanted. If Joe helped he could get compresses changed more frequently, spoon-feed more liquid into them to fight the threat of dehydration. He just nodded and concentrated on forcing a little milk and water mixture down David’s throat with the help of the pipette. Dehydration was always a problem with a high fever, but for a small baby with so little volume and a comparatively large surface area, Adam knew it could quickly become a killer. He had managed to get a look down David’s throat and like his mother the tell tale white blotches were present but at least so far the killing membrane that could prevent breathing wasn’t present in either of them. Like his mother it was going to be the fever which would kill him. Adam sponged down the tiny body and then wrapped him up warmly again and held him close to try and stop him catching a chill on top of everything else and then went back to persuading his son to take more fluids. Joe had finished sponging Carole down and re-wrapped her warmly; he laid a cold compress on her head and then tied to spoon a little broth into her but without much success. Joe took her pulse, it was weaker than it had been even an hour earlier. The fever was no higher but if it stayed as it was she couldn’t last another day. Adam looked up but Joe couldn’t meet his eye. Adam smiled faintly “Easy Joe I’m not fooling myself, I know she can’t take very much more, we have to bring the fever down somehow.”
“You’ve been worse than this and you’re still here.”
“Right little brother, so have you and Hoss. If only there was more we could do.”
Joe turned back to Carole who was tossing around but it wasn’t until Adam started talking to her, reassuring her that everything was alright that Joe was able to hold her still. For two hours the brothers worked steadily side by side, fighting to save the lives of those they loved. Adam talking to Carole while he tended their child and Carole seemingly unaware that the strong hands which tended her weren’t her husband’s or perhaps not caring, knowing both brothers loved her.
It was nearly ten o’clock in the morning when the ship’s doctor came in. He had heard that one of the babies was sick and wanted to check and to offer to transfer Carole to the sick bay now that death had cleared some space. He was well drunk, the only way he could retain his sanity with people dying like flies all round him. He looked at the baby in Adam’s arms “I didn’t realise he was so young. I’m sorry mister he’ll be dead before evening and your wife don’t look too good.”
Adam couldn’t find his voice and it was left to Joe to refuse the Doc’s offer to transfer Carole to the sick bay. The Doc stood shaking his head “We’re having a mass burial at sea this evening at dusk. I'll get a shroud made for the baby, bring him up to the sick bay.”
Adam looked up at that and held David closer to him. At first he couldn’t find his voice, this man was calmly planning to dispose of his son’s body while David still breathed. Little Joe got to his feet as he recognised the fury in his brother’s eyes. Adam hissed “Get him out of here Joe.”
Joe went over to the Doctor and took his arm, The Doc puzzled said “I’m only being practical we got shrouds for adults but for the baby its gotta be made.”
Adam came to his feet, the anguish fear and anger all too apparent on his face. Through gritted teeth he repeated “Get him out.”
Little Joe forced the Doctor to go with him into the corridor “You’d better leave before my brother hits you.”
The Doctor allowed himself to be led out and then stopped “He can’t take the baby ashore, it’s got to be buried at sea. Noone wants to take risks with diphtheria.”
“I realise that and so does my brother, but there’s one thing you seem to have forgotten. The child isn’t dead yet.”
The Doc shook his head “It will be young man. If it lasts more than an hour or so it will be a miracle and that woman is gonna be dead by sundown. You face facts and then maybe you’ll be able to help your brother.” With that he marched off in disgust at the way his attempts to help had been treated, rolling from more than the effects of the sea. Little Joe watched him go but his anger had faded, he could understand the need for bottled courage to help forget as people died whom the Doctor was unable to help. Even his brusque acceptance of death and his efforts to make them face the facts were only his way of preparing them; Joe realised that it wasn’t intended to be cruel.
Mrs Lewis had overheard all that was said and now she opened her cabin door and gently drew Little Joe in. Mark was on the floor supported by cushions and he crowed with delight as he recognised his Uncle, holding his arms up to Joe to be picked up, Joe lifted his nephew and held him tight for a moment burying his face against the baby’s soft hair. Mark grabbed handfuls of his hair and pulled and then giggled as Joe tickled him. Mrs Lewis poured out a stiff whisky “Drink that young man. Your nephew is just fine.”
Joe took it gratefully and drank half of it in one gulp; “I must get back to my brother.”
“Is the Doc right?”
“Adam will never admit it, he’ll fight to the end to save them both. I pray he’ll save Carole but the baby... David is so young.”
Mrs Lewis patted his arm “Take it easy. By the way what is your name?”
“I’m sorry I’m Joseph Cartwright, usually called Joe. Adam is my eldest brother, he and Carole have only been married eighteen months, he can’t lose her. Oh God not both of them.”
Joe was thinking of Marie and the anguish of losing her hit him with renewed force as he thought of his brother going through the same, but Mrs Lewis assumed he meant Carole and David. She saw the fear and pain on Joe’s face and guessed the brothers were a lot closer than most but then Joe put the glass down, “There’s no way to thank you for looking after Mark so I won’t try. I must get back to my brother, he was very upset by what the Doctor said.”
She just nodded and Joe went back to the stateroom. He had needed a few minutes to get control of himself before facing Adam but even now he didn’t know how to help his brother. It cost him a real physical effort to walk through to the cabin. He couldn’t help but feel that the Doc was right and by nightfall Adam would be left with just his younger son. Joe straightened his shoulders and with a prayer that he was wrong, he went through to join his brother and do what he could to help.
Adam had been furious with the Doctor, the defeatist attitude; he was scared that it would somehow rub off on Carole or his son. He wanted her to believe she was going to be fine, she had to keep fighting and even his young son would react to other people’s feelings. It might not be logical but Adam wouldn’t give up and anything that might help was important to him. Adam knew his young brother very well and he had read Joe’s agreement with the Doc, even though he knew Joe would never admit it or let Carole know, but he couldn’t let himself accept that they were right. Carole and David weren’t statistics, they were part of him and he wasn’t going to let them die. He continued forced liquid down the baby’s throat and changing the cold compress on Carole’s forehead. She was lying still now, sunk in a coma, burning up with fever but he had seen both his brothers as ill and they had recovered, so Adam kept panic away; that wouldn’t help either of them. He forgot the Doctor, forgot everything except the fight to save his beloved wife and child.
When Little Joe came in, he was surprised to see how calm Adam was but he didn’t say anything. Adam was pleased to see him back “Time to sponge her down again Joe. Can you get some fresh water?”
Joe nodded and did as he was asked. Adam helped him to wrap her up again afterwards and then picked up David, who was too weak to even cry. Adam held him close as though to give his own strength to the tiny body and forced more milk down his throat. For several hours they sat barely speaking but doing what little they could to help the sick to fight the disease. As darkness fell Joe lit the lamps, both Carole and David were still alive but both were much weaker as the fever took its toll. Adam eased Carole’s mouth open and looked down her throat as Joe held the lamp “I think the swelling is going down and the membrane is still well broken.”
Joe nodded he’d seen that she was breathing more easily but it was the fever which was going to kill her and if anything her temperature was higher. Joe knew she couldn’t last the night, it was a miracle she’d lasted so long. He had just finished tucking her up again when there was a knock on the stateroom door. Adam didn’t even seem to hear it and was totally oblivious of Joe leaving the room as he tended his son.
Joe went through and opened the door, it was the captain and he wanted to know what was happening. The doctor had told him that there would be a dead baby for the mass burial and they were just about to start. Joe went out into the corridor, not wanting Adam to hear. He assured the Captain that both the baby and his mother were still alive, albeit only just, although he couldn’t deny that the Doctor’s prognosis seemed all too likely to be correct. The Captain promised anything he and his brother needed would be immediately forthcoming and then went of for the burial. Too many had died but with no fresh cases the epidemic seemed to have burnt itself out and Carole and David were two of only seven who were still alive. Four of them were slowly recovering and only one other was still fighting for his life.
Joe took the opportunity while he was out to go and have a word with Mrs Lewis, still scared that Mark like his twin would succumb to the disease. She opened the door immediately he knocked and smiled at the young man. “I’ve just put your nephew to sleep, he’s as healthy as they come.”
“Thank God for that.”
“Have you eaten?”
“No. I’m not hungry and I can’t leave Adam for long.”
“The patients?”
“Still alive but I don’t know for how long. He’s going to need me when they die.”
“You are very close to your brother, it’s unusual.”
“He and I have been through a lot together. My wife died in childbirth last summer and the baby died too. Adam helped me a lot then, I never wanted to repay that but it looks as though I’m gonna have to.” Little Joe went over to the porthole and stared out for a minute fighting for control and wishing they were at least back home with Hoss and their father to help. He straightened up “I must get back to them.” He bent over the crib and kissed his nephew’s forehead very gently with a silent prayer that he would stay healthy. Then he went back to Adam.
Adam wasn’t really aware of the passage of time; he seemed to have been in that cabin fighting for his wife and child forever. There was pitiably little that he could do, no way to take their pain or give them his own strength. He wasn’t aware of Joe going out but after a few minutes he missed his brother as he struggled one handed to turn Carole’s pillow, unwilling to put David down even for that long, as though with lack of physical contact the baby would slip away from him forever. He was sure that his brother must have a good reason to leave him and trusted his brother to return as soon as he could. He just prayed that it wasn’t Mark who had needed his brother, that one of his sons remained fit and well.
When Joe came back in Adam looked up at him, unable to find the words to ask the question, dreading the answer. Luckily Joe knew his brother well enough to see the question in his eyes and smiled, “Mark is just fine settled down for the night as peaceful as can be. Mrs Lewis is very good with children and Mark has obviously taken to her, he’s safe.”
Adam bit his lip and murmured “Thank God for that at least.” Then not trusting his voice he turned back to his tiny son. It seemed to do no good to force the liquid down him and the cold compresses were having little effect, David’s fever was even higher than his mother’s but Adam didn’t know what else to try. The only Doctor had given him up for dead and Adam wouldn’t entrust his loved ones to that drunken sot. The only other thing he could do was to pray and at least so far both were hanging on. He knew with such a high fever there was a risk of convulsions but as there was nothing he could do about it Adam put that fear to the back of his mind and concentrated on the only things he could do to help. He was more grateful than he could ever say to have his brother working by his side, knowing that Joe loved Carole too but he hardly dared look at his brother scared he would break down or see his brother’s doubts. They worked in silence just occasionally commenting on what needed doing, but on the whole so used to each other that they automatically supported each other.
As the night dragged on Adam’s fears for his wife grew. He knew that the chances of the baby surviving were so slight as to be virtually negligible, in his head if not in his heart, but he had thought that Carole stood a chance, she was strong and a fighter. He had faced longer odds himself on more than one occasion and survived but this time it seemed unlikely that Carole was going to do the same. Adam knew that the early hours of the morning was the human’s lowest ebb, the time when sick people gave up the fight ad he sat there by Carole nursing the baby, barely acknowledging his fear even to himself, not even aware of his younger brother.
Joe saw his brother slip ever deeper into despair as Carole slowly weakened and the fever stayed dangerously high. Eventually just after midnight Joe got to his feet and went through to the stateroom and called the steward and asked for coffee. When it arrived he poured two hefty slugs of brandy into the cups and went back into Adam. Adam had just replaced the cold compress on Carole’s forehead and sat back as Joe came in. Joe gripped his shoulder “Have some coffee brother.”
Adam was glad of the warmth of the coffee and brandy and quickly drained his cup “Thanks Joe I needed that.”
“More next door if you want it?”
“Mmm, just coffee this time, it won’t help to get drunk.” Joe didn’t argue, there would be time for that later. He wanted to reassure his brother but he knew just how narrow the knife-edge was between life and death for Carole just now. Somehow the long early hours passed and Carole held on. Neither of them had spoken for over two hours when Joe got to his feet and stretched “It’s dawn Adam.”
Adam straightened his back and took a deep breath, “I thought she’d slip away in the early hours but she’s hanging on.”
“You said it Adam, she’s a Cartwright and we’re fighters.”
Adam couldn’t answer his brother he had been so close to utter despair in the early hours but she was still alive and with the dawn he had regained a little hope, although Carole was still desperately ill. Joe saw his brother get control of himself as he faced the new day and smiled faintly “I’ll go and get some fresh coffee.” Joe knew his brother very well and he was sure that Adam would keep going while there was anything that he could do. It would be later if they both died that Adam would collapse. The steward responded very quickly bringing coffee and breakfast and Joe took the tray through to join Adam. Adam accepted coffee but despite all Joe could say he couldn’t face food. He knew it would stick in his throat and even though Joe made sense and he knew he ought to eat he couldn’t do it. Joe wouldn’t try to force him; he understood all too well how his brother felt. This time Adam was fit and strong, unlike the hours while they awaited the twins’ arrival, and it would take more than a few missed meals to affect him seriously. Joe had a job to force food down himself but he managed and then refilled Adam’s cup.
Adam fed David, the baby was lying still now, seemingly too weak to even move or cry. The baby's pulse was terrifyingly fast but it was still there and Adam held him close trying to give his son his own strength.
The second officer came round about nine and once Joe had given him what little news there was, he went to boil some more milk and get fresh water while Joe went to see Mark. His nephew was gurgling away happily and looked so much bigger and older than his brother that Joe felt a lump in his throat just looking at him. Five minutes later he returned to Adam to reassure him about Mark.
Adam was on his feet and for the first time in hours he had put David down. As Joe came in Adam turned his head and Joe saw the tears rolling down his brother’s cheeks, He swiftly crossed the room but Adam smiled “It’s broken Joe.”
Little Joe put his arm round his brother’s shoulders, “Thank God Adam.” She was still very weak but with the fever broken both brothers were confident of their ability to get her back on her feet. For a moment they stood close together looking down at Carole, then having said a silent prayer of thanks the brothers stripped the bed wiped Carole down and got her into a clean night-dress. Then while Adam held his wife Joe remade the bed. Once Carole was lying back in bed sleeping peacefully Adam picked up David again. He bit his lip swallowing hard as he stared at his son “God is merciful but how am I going to tell her that l let one of her sons die while she was unconscious?”
For a moment Joe was scared that the baby was dead but then he saw the pulse in the fontanel beating very fast. He moved close to his brother again and gripped his arm “You’ve saved your wife. It’s a miracle David is still alive, you haven’t let him die, you’ve done more than any other man could have done. Carole will know that and she still has so much, you and Mark and God willing there can be other children.”
Adam stared at his brother hardly taking in what Joe was saying as Joe tried to calm him down remembering Joe had lost both his wife and child, at least he still has his beloved wife. Then he looked down at the frail body in his arms; David was part of him. He would not give up the fight for his son’s life. He knew just how close he had come to losing Carole and that it would take a miracle to save David but he had seen miracles before, his own survival had been termed one at least once. He sat down by Carole’s bed and pulled the new bottle of milk and water toward him and began feeding David again. Little Joe saw the determination on Adam’s face and, although he couldn’t believe Adam’s efforts were likely to be rewarded, he knew that his brother had to try.
There was nothing he could do to help for the moment, Carole was sleeping quietly and likely to remain so for some time and what little could be done for David Adam was doing. Joe felt the need for some fresh air and almost apologetically he asked, “Is there anything I can do Adam?”
Adam looked up “No Joe why don’t you go and get some rest. I’ve needed you all night but Carole is going to be alright and I’ll be fine now.”
“I just want to stretch me legs, maybe take Mark up for some air.”
“You ought to get some sleep.”
“I’m alright Adam, just to know Carole s going to be fine has done me more good than a nights sleep. I love her too.”
Adam smiled at his brother not trusting his voice and then bent over his son again. Little Joe closed the door quietly and poured himself a brandy before going over to his godson. He was more at peace, knowing that Carole would live, Adam would be very upset by the death of his first born, but with one son and his beloved wife, his brother would recover. He would never forget, but Joe knew even after having David with him for the six months, Adam’s choice would still have been identical to the one he had stated for Little Joe when their Doc asked him to choose between mother and child. Carole meant more to his brother than anyone else in the world and with her alive Adam would regain his serenity in time.
Mrs Lewis answered the door immediately Joe tapped and recognised that he was calmer, “Well young man, what’s the news?”
“My sister-in-law is sleeping peacefully, she’s going to be fine.”
“I’m very pleased for you. How about the baby?”
Joe bit his lip “He’s still alive but he’s so desperately weak and still burning up. I don’t think he has a chance.”
“How’s your brother?”
“Very relieved that his wife is going to live and still fighting for David. He’s strong he’ll survive as long as he’s got Carole, I just wanted some air and I thought I’d take my nephew up on deck, give you some peace.”
She smiled “I was just going to take him up on deck, do you mind some company?”
Joe grinned “I’d be delighted Ma’am.” He felt as though he’d known her a very long time and as they walked slowly round the deck he learnt of her two daughters, both married and living in England, whom she visited once every five years. Her husband long dead she has sufficient money but nothing to do and divided her time between her various children. Joe sensed that she was really delighted to feel herself useful and he made no attempt to dissuade her from continuing to look after Mark. At least Mark was thriving and as they walked Joe told her a little about his family and their ranch. Then he sank into thought remembering his own wife; he hadn’t been as lucky as his brother. Mrs Lewis could see he was tired and didn’t push talk at him. She was surprised at the obvious affection the young man showed, not only for his brother and sister-in-law and but even for the young baby he was carrying. Her own sons had virtually ignored their children until they were at least talking and this wasn't even his own child. Joe loved both his nephews but it was the tiny curly haired Mark, so like him, who had caught his heart that first night of life. David was Hoss’ favourite and as far as Joe knew Adam loved his sons equally. He had a fleeting thought that he was glad it was David and not Mark and then shook himself knowing either way was equally hard on his brother. Mrs Lewis watched his face so expressive, the anxiety of his brother so very clear. Unable to hide her curiosity she asked “You’re very much closer to your brother than any of my family, why?”
Joe shrugged “In Nevada we live in a rough land. Adam and I have fought side by side too often. When I was a kid he used to pull me out of trouble. My mother died when I was very young and my father was busy building our ranch. Adam taught me to read and write, to ride and shoot even how to fight. Virtually everything I know I learnt from him. I’ve sat by his bedside while he fought for his life, bullet wounds, even pneumonia, and once a bad fall. I’ve regained consciousness to find him sitting by me and we’ve shared vigils over out other brother and our father. When my wife died after just a few months of marriage it was my family who made it worth going on.” Joe laughed softly as he stared down at his nephew. “When I was a kid I had one great advantage, the one person all my friends looked up to was my big brother. He was eight years older than me and he’d been east to college, graduated as an engineer and an architect and yet he was one of the best horsemen around, fastest with his gun and a top fighter. Maybe I’d have learnt to hate him but with all that he found time to teach younger brothers, take them along on trips and talk them out of trouble, even if he did bawl us out later He’s quite a man and he’s always been there for me. Now I try to repay a little of it.” Joe laughed wryly burying his face against Mark’s curly hair “I’m getting sentimental in my old age, Lack of sleep I guess, I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about young man. It’s nice to find someone who is honest about their feelings.”
“I love my brother and his wife and children and I’m not ashamed of it but I don’t usually parade my feelings in front of strangers either.”
Mrs Lewis patted his arm “I asked and I’m old enough to be your mother so don’t worry.”
Joe calmed down but he changed the subject and as they came back to the companionway he decided it was time he went back to join his brother.
Adam hadn’t moved since Joe left him, it was a slow job to persuade David to swallow anything and more went over the towels than down the baby but Adam persevered. At least Carole was sleeping peacefully and as his fears for his wife’s life faded he had to face the idea of telling her David was dead. He held the baby closer “Don’t give up little one, hold on, you’re my son, you’re a fighter and I can give you so much, If only I could give you my strength now. Dear God in heaven I owe you so many things, but only you can help my son, he’s fought so hard, help him to carry on please God.” Adam buried his face against the baby feeling the deadly heat burning up his son and again sponged down the frail body, noticeably thinner than he had been. The baby had had too little time to build up the reserves of strength that he needed to combat the virulent disease. In his head Adam knew David stood no chance and maybe he was just prolonging the child’s agony by his fight to save David, but in his heart he couldn’t accept the death of this tiny child, made of his blood, part of his love for Carole, his firstborn son. As long as there was the faintest flicker of light he was going to fight for his son.
After two sleepless nights with ever present fear Adam’s eyes felt sore, his eyelids seemed lined with sandpaper and he had a bad headache but he knew that he couldn’t sleep until things were finally settled. Knowing that Joe had had little more sleep than he had he was determined to send his brother to get some rest when he came back. He had just wrapped David up again and was bending over Carole tucking the blankets tighter round her back when Joe came back in. Hearing his brother Adam straightened up and turned round “Mark?”
“He’s just fine. Mrs Lewis insists on carrying on looking after him. She’s a real nice lady, you’ll like her.”
Adam nodded “Go and get some food and sleep Little Joe, you look whacked.”
Joe moved over to his brother and put his arm round Adam’s shoulders, “Have you looked in a mirror lately?”
“I shan’t sleep until David is resting quietly.” Adam’s words seemed to hang in the room, both brothers knowing that they could be taken two ways and which was by far the most likely, Joe swallowed hard, “Is there anything I can do?”
Adam forced a smile, “You helped me save Carole against all the odds, you’ve done all you can, all anyone can. I’ve still got my wife. I’m alright Little Joe. Go and rest, then you’ll be fit to spell me later.” That at least made sense to Joe. He made one last effort to persuade Adam to eat but apart from requesting fresh coffee Adam didn’t want to know. Joe left him alone as he asked but for several minutes he stood staring at the cabin door wanting so much to help and yet knowing there was no way. Eventually desperately tired he went into his own cabin and lay down but it was more than an hour before he drifted asleep, haunted both by memories and the anguish in his brother’s eyes.
Adam sat by Carole nursing the child, there was no real change but slowly the tiny baby seemed to get even more frail, the pulse was weaker and more erratic and he knew he didn’t have much time if he was to pull of a miracle and hold onto his son. Twice in the hours while Joe slept, Carole roused slightly. She was awake but insufficiently aware to wonder what was happening. Each time Adam laid the baby down and held her close, fed her glad to see the strengthening food go down her. Then he turned her pillows, settled her comfortably and with David in one arm, held her hand and talked reassuringly to her until she slipped back into sleep. Then he turned back to the problem of persuading his tiny son to take some food to give David the strength to fight. He didn’t know whether stimulants were good or bad, but the tiny measure of brandy he got down David seemed to steady his pulse and so he persevered with it, just once an hour. The baby’s fever seemed to be slightly lower but he was so weak that it hardly seemed to matter and Adam had just about given up all hope by the time Joe came back to join him. Joe had slept for six hours and felt much better for it. He had checked on Mark before going back to his brother, hardly daring to hope David was still alive, he wanted to be able to reassure his brother about his other son. Mark was fine and Mrs Lewis tried to reassure Joe, she was sure the symptoms would have shown by now it Mark had caught the disease.
Joe went into the sickroom and for a moment he was shocked at the sight of his brother, with lack of food and sleep and ever-present fear Adam looked on the verge of collapse. His skin was grey tinged with exhaustion, his eyes bloodshot and no colour even in his lips, but Adam forced a grin, “He’s still hanging on Joe, a real fighter.”
Little Joe moved over and knelt down by Adam, Adam was sponging down the wasted body and as Joe felt the pulse it was alarmingly weak and erratic, too fast to count and thready. On the credit side he was sure the fever had dropped a degree or tow. Joe looked up at Adam, uncertainty all over his face, “He’s not quite as feverish.”
“I know but he’s so weak. I wish I knew what else to try Joe, but I can only carry on and pray.”
“You ought to get some rest.” Adam shook his head. Joe tried again “I love him too Adam I’ll do exactly the same as you have been doing.”
“No Little Joe. He’s my son. I may never have the chance to do anything else for him. I must stay with him now, try and make him fight, It’s such a thin ribbon which is tying him to life I daren’t risk it. He could die any minute and I’d never forgive myself if I was asleep, I’d always wonder if there was something, if he’d sensed his father had gone. He’s part of me. I can’t explain.”
Joe didn’t push it any further; he could understand and got to his feet. “I’ll get some more broth and some coffee. If you won’t rest you must at least eat. What do you want?”
Adam gripped his brother’s arm almost painfully tight, scared as Joe hadn’t made any comment, "Mark?”
Joe smiled “Just fine. I saw him just before I came in, fit and well.”
Adam closed his eyes for a minute, grateful for that at least. Then he looked at his wife sleeping peacefully, a little colour back in her lips and he knew he had a lot to be grateful for, whatever happened in the next few hours. He had so much more than his brother and yet he had seen the worry and sympathy in Joe’s eyes. Straightening his shoulders Adam turned his attention back to his young son, wrapping David up warmly again and began the long job of persuading a little food down him.
When Joe came back Adam forced a cup of soup down although he almost gagged on it and then drank some coffee laced with brandy, before turning back to his son. When Carole stirred again he handed David to his brother and fed his wife making her comfortable and talking lightly to her, hiding all his worries and even in some strange way his exhaustion until she slipped back into sleep.
As he held David, Joe felt the pulse get more erratic but as Adam took his son back so it seemed to steady, as though the feel of the so familiar arms reassured the baby.
As midnight approached Adam tried to persuade Joe to go and get some rest but Joe refused. He had slept all afternoon he was fine. Joe knew that it wasn’t only the sick, who are at their lowest ebb in the early hours of the morning. It was the time when despair hit hardest for those who loved them and he had no intention of leaving his brother alone. He’d taken time to go to the dining car and have a decent meal, although unable to persuade Adam to have anything, and he was staying with his brother, Adam was grateful for his brother’s presence and when Joe insisted on staying he just accepted it. He was puzzled, the disease didn’t seem to be taking the same course in that baby as in his mother. Carole’s fever had risen stayed high and then finally broken but David was still feverish although his temperature was several degrees lower, Adam wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or not and for several hours didn’t comment. Finally about three in the morning he got to his feet to stretch his legs and said “Joe am I imagining things or is his temperature down?”
Joe felt the baby gently and then grinned, “Quite a lot, he’s still feverish but nothing like as high as it was.”
“What do you think it means?”
“I don’t know Adam but it can only be good his pulse is a little slower too.”
“Still very erratic. Oh God I wish I knew more.”
“I don’t think anyone does Adam, You’ve kept him alive days longer than anyone believed possible. Don’t give up on him now.”
Adam wiped his hand across his aching eye “Pour me a drink please Joe.”
Joe brought him a large brandy and got himself one and the two brothers stood side by side staring out the porthole over the empty sea, each praying in their own way. Adam bit his lip “I wish we were at home. I wish I’d never thought of this trip. We didn’t need to come, but I’m so very thankful; that you came with us little brother.”
Joe put his arm round his brother “Easy Adam I know how you feel but disease can hit anywhere. It might equally have hit in Virginia City. Pa and Hoss would have been there and Doc but it wouldn’t have made very much difference, you can only really face these things alone, maybe with God’s help.”
Adam drained his brandy and turned to Joe “I’m very lucky I not only have God but I get a lot of help from my brother. There’s no way to say thanks Joe but you know how I feel.”
Joe didn’t answer, knowing just how close to breaking down Adam was, David still needed his father if he was to see another dawn. Adam settled back in the chair by Carole and began feeding David again. It was too soon to let himself hope, he knew just how tenuous was the link between David and life but at least the baby was no worse and he was hanging on.
Daybreak came and David whimpered the first sound he had made in more than twenty-four hours. Carole stirred at the sound and Adam carried the child away from the bed not wanting to worry her. Adam sat down by the porthole and fed David. For the first time the baby drank the milk willingly, Adam looked up at Joe no longer able to hide the hope in his heart, his eyes alight. Joe was scared that his brother was building too much on too little. He moved over next to Adam and felt the pulse in the baby’s neck. “It’s still erratic Adam and he’s still feverish”
“I know Joe but last night I’d about given up hope, at least he’s improving, I know its still touch and go but there’s a chance.”
“Just don’t get your hopes up too high Adam, he’s still a very sick baby.” Joe hated saying it to his brother but it would be even worse if Adam made up his mind that David would be alright and then the child died. Adam smiled faintly at his brother knowing exactly why Joe had spoken up but even the little hope he allowed himself had helped and despite another sleepless night he looked less exhausted than the previous evening. “I don’t want Carole worried and she will be if she sees David like this, I’d guess she will be taking in a little more than yesterday. Will you wait until we’ve fed her and got her settled again before you go get some sleep.”
“Alright on one condition.”
Adam looked up, surprised at that, and Joe grinned at him, “I’m hungry and I’m going to order some breakfast. You must be hungry you’ve hardly eaten so you are going to join me. You must eat even if you won’t sleep."
Adam smiled “I’ll try Joe.” He kept his word but it was too long since he’d eaten and still worried about his son and after a few mouthfuls he pushed the tray away and poured coffee turning his attention back to his son. “I’ll eat later Joe, just not hungry.”
Joe was worried, scared his brother would make himself ill but he knew it was a waste of time arguing. Then as Carole stirred Adam passed David to his brother and went to Carole. Her throat was still very sore and it was an effort to talk but she wanted to know what was happening. Adam lifted her gently and wiped her face and then held her against him and gave her a drink. “It’s alright my love, you’ve been very ill but you are going to be just fine. You just have to rest. Little Joe and I have everything under control.”
Carole lay back against her husband, feeling his strength seeping into her. She could see he was tired but guessed that he’d been sitting with her and Adam managed to hide most of his exhaustion and worry from her. He had no intention of telling her about David until she was stronger. There was nothing she could do and she would only worry, he fed her slowly, talking reassuringly and slowly Carole relaxed against him. She was very weak and her throat hurt but she trusted her husband and she was beginning to get sleepy again. After half an hour she was quite content to let Adam tuck her up and she dozed off again. He had told her all about Mrs Lewis and left her to assume that both the twins were with the old lady.
Joie had taken David through to the stateroom and held him quiet but the baby’s pulse was getting very erratic and Joe was scared that he was going to die. H e was very relieved to see Adam come through and passed David to his father. Adam could sense the growing weakness almost as soon as he took hold of the baby He sank down into a chair and felt the pulse, which was alarmingly erratic. Joe bit his lip “I was just going to call you.”
Adam nodded swallowing hard and getting a firm grip on himself, “Pass me a spoon Joe and then half fill it with brandy. He persuaded David to swallow a few drops of brandy and followed it with some milk, Then he just sat holding the baby very close, one hand on the tiny chest as though to steady the fast beating heart. Joe watched his brother believing that David was going to die within minutes, but slowly the child seemed to gain strength. Adam looked up after ten minutes, “His pulse is much steadier.”
Joe felt it for himself and nodded, “Maybe he does know his father is with him. He seemed to weaken all the time I held him.”
Adam looked at the cabin door “Carole will sleep for a while. You go and get some rest. Then will you stay with her, She is going to be alright, maybe David needs me more. You can tell her I’m resting. She mustn’t know he’s sick, not yet, she’s not strong enough. I know she’ll miss me but I have to choose.” He knew it was a lot to ask but had no hesitation in asking his brother. Joe smiled “You know I will and don’t worry about Carole, I’ll look after her.”
“Go get some rest Joe, she’ll sleep for several hours.”
Joe would dearly have loved to get his brother to rest but it was all too obvious that David desperately needed his father to stay alive. Having seen how the little boy reacted on returning to his father, Joe was hopeful for the first time that David would survive. Adam would dearly have loved to see his other son but he didn’t dare leave David alone and he wouldn’t risk taking the disease near Mark. Joe saw the look that his brother cast across the corridor and he gripped Adam’s arm. “I'll check Mark and report to you before I go to bed.”
“Thanks Joe. I’ll go back to Carole, she shouldn’t be left alone yet.”
Joe was back five minutes later to reassure Adam that Mark was fine before he went for some sleep, Carole stirred once or twice but she didn’t awaken. Adam pushed her hair back off her forehead but he wasn’t really worried about her now, the only real recipe for her recovery was sleep, the more the better at least until she was feeling better. Then he could start feeding her up, replace the strength she had lost. The one thing that would put her back, maybe even into danger, was to find out about her young son’s illness. Unable to help he knew that Carole would lie awake, fretting and worrying. It was hard to leave her while she was so weak, even though he knew his young brother would be able to take good care of her but David’s life had to take priority.
Adam had been shocked but not altogether surprised at David’s deterioration while they were separated. He was determined not to even put the baby down if he could possibly help it until David regained some strength. Adam was surprised at how certain he felt all of a sudden that David was going to survive. He knew the baby was very weak but at least David was co-operating now. It was no longer a fight to get the food into him. Adam sat by his wife and talked softly to the baby in his arms, telling him gently how good life could be, of the lovely land that would one day be his. He knew David couldn’t understand him but his voice seemed to reach the baby and he rested more easily all the time he kept talking. He fed David again and the baby’s fever was definitely very much lower and for almost the first time David seemed to sleep peacefully after his feed.
David was whimpering again as Joe came back and Adam filled a small bottle and fitted a teat, unsure whether David was yet strong enough to suck but the baby attacked it willingly and once he’d finished lay staring wide-eyed at his father. Joe felt the pulse much slower and steadier and grinned at his brother in delight. “You’ve done it Adam. Noone gave you a chance, I didn’t believe you stood a chance, but you’ve pulled him through.”
Adam looked down at his son, staring so trustfully at him and he had a lump in his throat but he grinned at his brother, “Now who is counting his chickens, he’s still very weak."
“You’ve got him this far, you’ll have him as strong as his brother in a few weeks.”
“With God’s help I pray so.” Adam’s eyes were full but he blinked away the tears. He was so tired they stung and his head throbbed. He got to his feet, swaying momentarily and Joe steadied him. Adam grinned, “I’m okay. Look after Carole for me. I’m going to change David’s diaper and then borrow your bunk for a couple of hours. I think he’ll sleep and maybe I can.”
“I think you’d better before you drop.”
“I haven’t had much choice and I won’t risk leaving him yet, but I really think we’re over the worst.”
“I’m sure of it Adam. Go and get some rest. I’ll look after your wife.”
Adam settled the baby against the wall but as he took his arm away David started to cry and eventually Adam had to lie down with the baby in the crook of his arm. Close to him David settled to sleep and Adam closed his eyes sure he would wake at the first sound the baby made, so aware of his breathing that it was part of him. Adam was absolutely exhausted; aching all over but no longer quite so scared and quickly drifted asleep. Twice he awoke in the next three hours as the baby stirred and the second time he fed David another bottle of milk before settling back again, his headache so bad that he was seeing double.
Meanwhile Carole had woken up again and Joe reassured her, everything was fine, but Adam was getting some much-needed rest. He went out after five minutes to get her some broth. The steward wasn’t immediately visible and Joe went down the corridor to find him. The Doctor had come to check on one of the few remaining patients and seeing Carole’s door open he went in. Carole was sitting propped up by pillows, sipping the milk Joe had given her, The man had only had a few drinks and wasn’t obviously drunk and he smiled at her. “I’m the ship’s Doctor, so pleased to see you looking better Mrs Cartwright. Not many people survive diphtheria, certainly not looking as lovely as you.”
Carole was taken aback, she’d had no idea how seriously ill she had been and her hand went to her sore throat. Like many others she had seen the ravages of diphtheria epidemics and was well aware how lucky she had been. Then the Doctor looked very sombre and said “I’m very sorry about your son of course, but with children of that age there’s no chance, still at least you have one son alive.”
Carole stared at him in disbelief, and then panic, and she screamed over and over. Joe heard her and raced back to the cabin but Adam was so exhausted that the sound didn’t penetrate, He was awake at the slightest movement of the baby but nothing else was important and he trusted Joe to look after Carole and Mark. The Doctor realised that she hadn’t been told and tried to calm the hysterical woman, but he still had no doubt that his statement was true. He had taken it for granted that the baby has been included in the mass burial, convinced that it couldn’t have lived more than a few minutes after he had seen it. He had been too drunk to attend the burial, sickened by the deaths that he was unable to prevent.
Joe ran in and seeing the doctor he pushed him away and took Carole in his arms. He held her tight trying desperately to calm her down, but she was oblivious of him. The Doctor sighed “I’m sorry I didn’t realise she didn’t know her son was dead.”
Joe looked blankly at him for a moment and then in a surge of fury he ordered “Get out you fool, her son isn’t dead.”
The Doctor stared disbelievingly at him until Joe half came to his feet and through gritted teeth said, “Get out before I hit you.” The Doctor turned on his heel and left and Joe gripped Carole’s shoulders and tried to get through to her “Its not true Carole, its not true.”
She stared unseeingly through him and kept screaming in total hysteria. Mrs Lewis had heard and came over. She had Mark in her arms and she pushed the door shut on all the interested bystanders who were gathering. As Joe failed to penetrate to Carole, Mrs Lewis said “She’s hysterical, you’ll have to smack her face.”
Joe looked at her but although he raised his hand he couldn’t do it. Seeing that Mrs Lewis came over and did it for him, a sharp smack. It had the desired effect, Carole seemed to catch her breath and then she collapsed sobbing in Joe’s arms. She could see Mark in Mrs Lewis’ arms and sobbed “David, David.” over and over. Joe lifted her face and forced her to look at him “Carole it’s me Joe. David is alright, he’s alright.”
She stared at him for a moment and then sobbed “He’s dead, my baby is dead.”
Joe held her close “I’ve never lied to you Carole, David is alright. He’s been ill but he’s going to be fine, he’s with Adam.”
Carole didn’t believe him and though Joe tried time and time again telling her that David was alive, it wasn’t getting through to her. Mrs Lewis said “You’d better fetch your brother she’s getting into quite a state, can’t be good for her.”
Joe was loathe to do it knowing how desperately tired Adam was, but he was making no impression on Carole and she was still too weak to take it. He went through to the other cabin where Adam was still fast asleep. Joe shook his brother's shoulder but made no impression on the exhausted man. Joe tried again a little harder, calling Adam’s name but Adam didn’t stir. Then Joe picked up David and almost instantly Adam sat up, suddenly scared. Joe put his arm round his brother “David is fine Adam. I’m sorry to wake you but Carole needs you, she’s very upset.”
Adam could hear her crying and he pulled himself to his feet wanting to get to her. Joe gripped his brother’s arm; “I’m sorry Adam. The Doctor got in and he told her that David was dead.”
Adam stared at Joe in disbelief “I’ll kill him.” Then he ran through to Carole. He took her in his arms “Carole my love, my darling, don’t cry. David is going to be fine. Just look. Joe has got him. Look my love.”
Joe had David wrapped warmly in a blanket and as he held her baby close to her. Carole put out her hand and touched David’s head. The baby yawned sleepily and Carole looked at him almost in wonder and then began to cry much more naturally as Adam held her tight.
Mrs Lewis patted Joe’s arm “I think we’re in the way. You can look after your nephew for a few minutes. His wife needs him most just now.”
Little Joe nodded, he was sure that David was strong enough now to be separated from his father for a few minutes, just now Carole needed Adam more. He followed her out and as she opened her cabin door went into the cabin opposite. He stared at Mark doubtfully but Mrs Lewis was quick to reassure him. “The babies will be fine as long as we keep them apart. You look as though you need a drink.”
Joe accepted the brandy she passed him and went to stare out of the porthole “It’s all my fault. I promised Adam I’d look after his wife." Mrs Lewis had seen the brothers around before Carole took ill and she had appreciated the older man’s good looks, She knew the brothers were close and she had been shaken at just how exhausted Adam looked, he appeared drained and ill. For the moment she put Mark down and came over to look at David. The baby was still very obviously weak and fretting for his father. She pulled the blanket tighter round him “It’s a miracle he’s alive.”
“Joe nodded “I reckon his father’s love has saved his life.”
“Your brother has paid a heavy price, he looks exhausted.”
“He hadn’t closed his eyes since Carole took sick and he’s barely eaten anything. Then just as he gets to sleep I go and make a mess of things and have to wake him again.”
“What happened exactly?”
“The Doctor went in. I’d only left her for a moment to find the steward and get her some food. He just assumed that David was dead and tired to sympathise with her. I couldn’t get through to her make her understand. Adam was so tired he hadn’t even heard her scream and he’s usually the light sleeper in the family. I had a real job to wake him it was only when I moved David that he awoke, instantly.”
“Take it easy young man your brother will be alright and he has a great deal to be grateful for. He has a wife and child both alive and soon to be strong again. Two days back noone would have bet on that outcome.” She patted his shoulder “It was just unfortunate but he’ll soon calm down.”
Joe nodded slowly “I know, but Adam’s so tired. He’s strong and hell be fine but......”
Mrs Lewis refilled his glass, “You’re tired yourself Joseph.” Joe had to admit the justice of that and slowly relaxed.
Meanwhile Adam had slowly calmed Carole down and reassured her, David had been ill but he was going to be just fine. Then he fed her and held her gently until she slept. Only then did he go to look for his brother. Joe was still with Mrs Lewis and Adam knocked on the door when he didn’t find Joe in their own cabins. The old lady came and let him in but Adam’s eyes were drawn to his youngest son who crowed delightedly at seeing his father. Adam moved over and picked up the little boy kissing him and holding him close, so thankful that he was fit and well. Then he moved over to Joe who was trying, with very little success, to feed David. David was refusing the bottle and crying but as soon as Adam took him he settled into the so familiar arms. Adam rocked him for a moment or two humming softly and then tried the bottle again. This time David took it readily. Mrs Lewis watched reading the exhaustion, love and compassion on Adam’s face. Only when his son was sucking away at the milk did Adam look over at her. His vision was blurred with tiredness but he forced a smile. “I haven’t had a chance to say thank you for caring for my son. I trust my brother has tried to do it for me.”
“Many times. You are very welcome Mr Cartwright. I love babies and he’s a very contented one, no trouble.”
“I can’t tell you how grateful I am without your help and Joe’s.....”Adam broke off and looked down at David who had nearly finished the bottle.
Joe got to his feet “I’ll look after Carole and I’ll make a better job of it this time, why don’t you go and get some sleep.”
Adam was too exhausted to even argue and let Joe lead him back over to the cabin, needing his brother’s supporting arm. Joe changed David and then handed him to Adam and within minutes both father and son were fast asleep. Little Joe stared down at his brother for a minute seeing the utter exhaustion etched deep in Adam’s face and then he went back to sit by Carole. He dozed quietly as she got the sleep she needed but worried about his brother; Joe had one ear cocked for noises from the other cabin. Just over an hour later he heard Adam moving around and went though to see if he could help. He found his brother feeding David again, three quarters asleep Adam was moving mechanically as he tended his son. Joe suggested that he took the baby for a few hours so that Adam could really settle but although David was much stronger Adam wouldn’t hear of it and Joe could only go along.
Joe ordered himself a meal and by the time he had finished it Carole was awake. She was quite calm but wanted to know exactly what had happened while she was ill. She hadn’t missed her husband’s utter exhaustion and Joe didn’t try to hide from her how worried they had been; although he glossed over just how close to death both she and her young son had been. He did his best to reassure her about Adam insisting that after a good sleep and some food his brother would be fine. Trusting in Joe, Carole let him feed her and with his promise to look after her husband and sons she settled back to seep. Joe was pleased how calmly she accepted him instead of his brother, but he wasn’t really surprised. They had grown very close since Carole first came out to the Ponderosa to nurse him before her marriage. He had never forgotten how she had come to him up by the lake two days after Marie’s death. Joe sat by her lost in his memories when he suddenly became aware of his brother’s voice. Joe went through to find Adam very restless, tossing around and obviously in the throes of a nightmare, Joe was scared he would hurt the baby and picked David up, but Adam didn’t even notice. For a moment Joe was scared that his brother was sickening and he felt Adam’s forehead, scared he would find it burning up, but in fact he felt cold. Joe put David down in a chair putting pillows round him so he couldn’t fall and then sat on the side of the bunk and tried to hold Adam still. Adam was talking trying to persuade his son to hang on, reliving the long hours when he was so scared that he was losing him. Joe couldn’t hold Adam as he tossed and turned and at first he couldn’t wake him either, Eventually he shook his brother hard and Adam slowly opened his eyes. He felt very cold and was shivering and then seeing Joe’s anxious face, he sat bolt upright scared, “David, Carole?”
Joe smiled “They are both fine, both sleeping very peacefully, but you were having a nightmare.”
It was still with Adam and he buried his face in his hands, shaking like a leaf. Joe moved closer and put his arm round his brother’s shoulders and held him close. Adam was very glad of Joe’s warmth and slowly he calmed down and Joe felt him relax a little until eventually Adam pulled away and sat back against the wall. He smiled without forcing it, for the first time in days, “I’m okay little brother.”
“Sure but if you don’t have something to eat, you’re gonna be ill.”
“Alright go and get me something. I don’t much care what and I’ll try to keep you quiet. On condition you stop looking so worried.”
Joe grinned, glad to see his brother so much calmer and went along to the dining car. He chose a chicken in wine, hoping it might tempt his brother’s appetite and collected coffee before returning to Adam. As Joe came in Adam was washing his face. He had seen for himself that both David and Carole were sleeping peacefully and with his mind relieved about his loved one, he acknowledged Joe’s comment, he did need food and rest himself. He did his best with the food Joe brought, but could only manage half before he gave up and poured himself some coffee. He was yawning again but refused to go back to bed. He checked his young son, but David’s pulse seemed to be virtually normal, and he was resting quietly. Adam looked up at his brother with a half smile “Will you keep an eye on him and Carole for half an hour. I need some fresh air a chance to stretch my legs?”
Joe willingly agreed and Adam headed up onto deck. He walked slowly round enjoying the fresh air and thanking God for his mercy, which had saved his wife and child. On his second circuit the Captain came over to join him. He had heard about the Doctor’s mistake and apologised to Adam for the mix-up. Adam had been furious at the time but as Carole calmed down so did he. Adam assured the Captain that he wasn’t going to cause trouble and then joined the man in a gentle stroll. For days his whole attention had been in the small cabin where he was struggling for the lives of his wife and child. He hadn’t been aware of time and only now did he consider where they were. The Captain was able to confirm that they had made a good fast trip and would be docking on schedule in three days time. There had been no more cases of diphtheria for some time and they would not have to go into quarantine on arrival, unless some more cases appeared. Adam was pleased about that, he had had more than enough of the ship and wanted to get Carole ashore to rest and recover.
After half an hour Adam went back to join Joe by Carole’s bedside feeling better for some fresh air and he insisted that Joe went and got some rest. Joe was well aware that his brother needed sleep but he knew it was a waste of time arguing and as he was tired he agreed. At least one of them needed to be fit. Adam brought David in with him but once he had finished feeding and changing the baby he settled David in the cot, singing softly to him until he fell asleep. Only then did he realise that Carole was awake and watching him. She was smiling as she watched her husband sing their baby to sleep. She could see that Adam was tired and drawn, but he looked reasonably relaxed and she knew his innate strength. As Adam finally realised she was awake he lent over and kissed her “You look better my love. I’ll send for some food.”
He ordered two meals and Carole was strong enough to feed herself. As he sat by her Adam ate himself, for the first time enjoying his food and he made a good meal. He talked as they ate reassuring Carole that everything was fine, telling her just how much help he’d had, not only from his brother but also the old lady across the corridor and the crew. Within an hour her eyelids were feeling heavy again and Adam settled her down and sitting with them both sleeping peacefully and beginning to recover he dozed himself.
For the next three days Joe had a job to persuade his brother to leave Carole and David at all despite the very evident improvement both showed. David was still weak, he’d lost all too much weight but with the amazing resilience of youth, he was eating well and beginning to look much better, although very noticeably smaller than his brother. Joe’s main problem was that as David gained strength he became very fractious and Adam insisted on going to him every time he cried. Joe had to admit that David did settle a lot faster for his brother but Adam was getting very little rest and he wasn’t interested in food, forgetting meals. On the credit side Carole left her bed on the third day. She was still weak and glad of her husband’s supporting arm as she walked up onto the deck and settled quietly in a chair looking over the sea. Mrs Lewis brought Mark up and for the first time in days Carole saw her younger son. Mark looked so much bigger and healthier than his brother did, that for a moment she couldn’t help the tears. Adam put his arm round her shoulders and Mrs Lewis patted her arm “Take it easy my dear. Your son is fine and his brother will soon catch up again. You have a lot to be grateful for.”
“I know that I have been wanting an opportunity to say thank you for all the help you gave my husband.”
“You should be very proud of him young lady. Not many fathers would have pulled a baby through like he did.”
Adam blushed but Carole smiled reaching up to grip his hand “I am.”
Adam said, “I had a lot of help especially from Joe. “ They could see sign of land now and he knew they would reach Southampton the next morning, so leaving Carole well wrapped up with Mrs Lewis and Mark for company, he went down to start packing. Joe heard him and, as David was sleeping peacefully, he went through to join his brother. Joe considered him for a moment as Adam stood staring out of the porthole. Adam didn’t look quite as ill as he had but his eyes were still bloodshot and he looked very tired. Joe frowned wondering why his brother looked so worried and went over to join him. “What’s the matter Adam? Carole and David are both recovering fine.”
“I know Joe and I am very grateful, but I just don’t know what to do.”
Joe didn’t understand “In what way?”
“Well Johnnie Sutherland is expecting us and he’ll be there to meet us tomorrow but he has young children. I daren’t risk taking infection to them.”
“The Doc says we’re clear.”
“I wouldn’t believe him if he said you needed to breathe to live.”
“I know how you feel Adam but this is just a matter of regulation. If there was a risk the ship would be quarantined.”
“Suppose you or I caught it at the end of nursing them, we might still fall sick.”
Joe frowned “Are you feeling ill?”
Adam shook his head “No I’m fine, but it could happen.”
Joe relaxed again, just his big brother doing his worrying act, mainly exhaustion talking. “Its not likely Adam.”
“Maybe Joe but I won’t risk Johnny’s kids.” Adam couldn’t even put into words his real fear. Mark had been restless all day; twice he’d gone to a crying baby to find Mark restless not his brother. Adam knew just how lucky he had been to save David and wasn’t sure he could do it again. He was only too aware how much it had taken out of him, he still couldn’t relax and he was very tired. If Mark succumbed his chances would be worse than his brother’s with his father exhausted to start with. So far Mark wasn’t feverish but Adam found himself continually checking the cradle.
Joe could understand Adam’s reluctance to take risks but he was still slightly surprised how tense Adam was. He put it down to tiredness and gripped Adam’s arm “Take it easy. We’ll just have a word with Johnny. From what I remember him saying he has a big place and he’ll be able to keep us well clear of the kids. After all it can only be for a few days and we’ll be certain we are safe. If not he’ll know of a hotel or something, so just stop worrying.”
Adam knew Joe was talking sense and tried to relax. He was very tired as the last week caught up with him but even so he found it hard to settle that night. He was up early, hearing Mark crying and to Adam’s horror he seemed to have a slight temperature. More determined than ever not to go to Johnny’s, Adam tried to decide what to do. At least being up early he had everything packed and ready to move. The captain had given orders to ensure that the Cartwrights got all the help they needed to get off the ship amongst the first, he owed them that much.
Johnny had been delighted when Adam finally accepted his often repeated invitation and glad Joe was coming too. He had spent a very enjoyable holiday on the Ponderosa after getting to know Adam so well at Cambridge; closer in age to Joe the pair had quickly become friends too. He had travelled down to Southampton the previous day and had his large coach with him to transport his guests in comfort to his London house. Impatient to see his friends Johnny was waiting on the dock as the ship came in and tied up and he was scanning the rails looking for Adam and Joe.
Adam had got everything ready in the cabin and he had two crewmen to help him with their belongings but he wanted to speak to Johnny first, find out where to take his things and warn him about the diphtheria. As soon as the gangplank was down Adam and Joe went ashore to find Johnny. Johnny saw them and waved and they moved over to join him. Johnny was shocked how ill Adam looked and with immediate concern asked what was wrong. Adam said “Nothing really but I’m afraid we can’t come and stay, not yet. There’s been diphtheria aboard.”
Johnny asked, “Have you been ill?”
“No, not me but my wife and one of my sons. They are going to be fine but I won’t risk bringing infection to your house.”
“They wouldn’t let you off the ship if there was any risk”
“I’m not sure. Mark my youngest, he’s feverish." Adam’s voice was hesitant as he named the fear that had been with him all night.
Joe interrupted “He’s just teething Adam. He’s not sick, just a tooth.”
Adam knew that Mrs Lewis had put Mark’s fractiousness down to teething but he wasn’t sure “I don’t know, can’t risk...” he faltered to a stop and the sky seemed to go black, everything was going round on him, he was desperately hot and he was vaguely aware of falling.
Johnny facing Adam was the first to realise and moved forward “Joe he’s fainting.” Between them they broke Adam’s fall but he was out cold. Joe loosened his collar but Adam didn’t stir. Johnny knelt by him “Is he sickening?”
Joe shook his head and, although very worried, he forced a grin, “I don’t think so, he’s just plain exhausted. He’s not feverish, cold if anything. Where’s your coach?”
Johnny pointed to a nearby coach and Joe got him to help carry Adam over to the coach. They lifted Adam in and Joe settled his brother in the corner. Then he turned to Johnny who was hovering anxiously. Joe said, “Adam will be fine, just mounted up on him. I’ve seen him keel over before once or twice. Just pigheaded and won’t give into his obvious exhaustion until his body just rebels. He seems to have slipped into sleep now. I’d guess he’ll sleep for several hours.”
“The baby?”
“Just teething but Adam’s obviously got himself convinced its worse than that. He was up for four nights with no rest, first with Carole, and then with David. Everyone thought the baby would die, except Adam. It’s been a rough trip.”
Johnny could see that that was an understatement and he quietly told Joe to collect Carole and the children, he’d stay with Adam. The sooner they all reached home the better. Joe accepted, he didn’t believe there was any risk, sure Mark was only teething. With help from the crew Joe soon had the babies, Carole and the luggage moved to the coach. He hadn’t worried Carole with her husband’s collapse, just saying that Adam had sat down and immediately dozed off. She knew just how tired her husband was and was glad to see him getting some rest. Joe thanked Mrs Lewis, he had her London address and promised to see her before they headed home again and then he went to join Johnny.
Johnny had provided a picnic lunch and Joe was pleased to see Carole make a good meal before she dozed too. Adam didn’t stir and Joe filled Johnny in on some of the details of their trip.
It was late afternoon by the time they pulled up outside Johnny’s London house. Joe took the babies into a small bedroom off the one allocated to Adam and Carole. A nursery nurse was there and she took over the babies. Joe told her about David’s recent illness and Mark’s teething. She just smiled at him; she could cope with the twins. A woman in her forties, she struck Joe as very competent and he left the twins with her and went down to escort Carole in.
Adam still hadn’t stirred and Johnny wasn't sure what to do. Little Joe grinned, “I’ll wake him up. Don’t look so worried, he’ll be fine. Get some food in him and a couple of night’s sleep and he’ll be raring to go.”
Johnny was unconvinced but, assuming Joe knew his brother best, he left Adam to him. Joe sat down next to his brother and shook him gently “Come on big brother time to wake up.” At first he made little impression but then Adam stretched and yawned. He slowly realised where he was and looked puzzled. Joe grinned, “We’ve arrived. You frightened Johnny rigid collapsing like that and you’ve slept all the way. I just told Carole you dozed off and she was glad to see you get some rest. Everyone is fine and Mark’s much more peaceful now that the Nanny here has put some salve on his gum. Just teething, you have my word on it.”
Adam felt much better for his long sleep and smiled at his brother, “Okay Joe. I seem to be outvoted.”
“Correct. Now come on in, have a bath and then get a decent meal and you might put Johnny’s mind at rest.”
Adam laughed at him but he accepted his little brother’s help to get down, very stiff from sleeping for so long in an odd position and they went on in.
The following morning Carole slept in but Adam was up early having slept most of the previous day and he was hungry. He went down to find some coffee and food and when he walked into the breakfast room he found Beth sitting alone at the table. Adam had wondered if he would see her again. He knew she had been doing some travelling in Europe with her young daughter and that she hadn’t remarried. He had wondered how he would feel seeing her again. Their lives were so different that romance had never really got started, but he had been very fond of Johnny’s older sister.
Beth looked up as he came in and immediately got to her feet and came over to take his hands. She studied him and then smiled. “It’s so good to see you again Adam. Johnny told me what a terrible journey you had. I must admit you look far better than I feared after what he said last night.”
“Caught up a bit on my sleep since Johnny met us. You look as lovely as ever Beth.”
“I am very contented with my life and it’s so good to see you again. I am looking forward to meeting your wife.”
“Are you staying with Johnny?”
“Yes at least until Christmas so we’ll have plenty of time to catch up and for me to get to know Carole.”
Adam relaxed glad to see her again and in a way relieved that she was the same good friend that he remembered. He was very sure that Carole would come to like Beth as much as he did. Over breakfast they began to catch up on the years since they last met. Adam was on his third cup of coffee when Carole came down for her breakfast and Adam was able to introduce the two women. Carole had heard quite a lot about Beth over the years and she was intrigued to meet her. Beth was equally interested to meet the woman, who could fit into Adam’s life in a way she knew she couldn’t.
At first the conversation was slightly stilted but as Carole explained how Adam had tended their son and nursed him through diphtheria the two women relaxed, until Adam beat a hasty retreat getting embarrassed. That was enough for both women to giggle and relax totally with each other. When Carole came back upstairs she found Adam with his sons and took Mark from him. “I like your friend Beth.”
“So do I.”
“I can see why you found her so easy to talk to. I’m just glad she didn’t fancy living in Nevada.”
“So am I or I might never have found my beautiful best friend.” Adam pulled his wife close and ignored Mark’s protests as he kissed her firmly.
Over the next week Carole regained her strength and Adam quickly caught up with his sleep and began to enjoy himself. Spending hours at museums and art galleries while Carole rested, knowing that Beth was often keeping his wife company when he wasn’t there, and escorting her to concerts and theatres when she felt up to it. Joe joined them occasionally but he was busy going to races, shooting and even a boxing match, apart from dances where he was a very welcome visitor. He soon met a large number of people and a wealthy good looking unattached male he had many caps set at him. Joe had no intention of getting involved but he enjoyed flirting with the many pretty girls. For the first time since Marie died Adam saw the gay flirt his brother had been, although there was sombreness running underneath that hadn’t been there once.
Joe was enjoying his stay in England more than he had expected. He made friends easily and every day was filled with things to do. He travelled more widely than Adam and Carole, going hunting in Lincolnshire and even getting a train up to the Lake District for a long weekend. Carole was almost fully recovered and David had virtually caught his brother up again so Joe wasn’t worried about leaving them. He enjoyed the social life, amused by the girls who thought he would be a catch, visualising them back home in Nevada, knowing that none of them had any conception of his real life. They wouldn’t be able to fit into that rough life anymore than the tropical butterflies that he’d seen in the museum, of which they reminded him. Still he was happy to flirt, although he thought often of Marie, sure that she would understand and expect him to take advantage of his holiday.
Beth had been enjoying having Adam there. Their old friendship had re-established itself as though there hadn't been a break but this time there was a third in the group. Beth had very quickly slipped onto easy terms with Carole. She didn’t hide her fondness for Adam, but made it very clear that the life he led would always have proved an insuperable barrier between them. Beth had a young daughter to consider and slightly nervous she couldn’t have faced life in the west of the United States. Beth also made it clear that se was very happy to see Adam so contented and gave Carole a very edited version of his visit to England before, as he recovered from a serious injury and being jilted.
At the Ponderosa both Ben and Hoss had missed the rest of the family, perhaps even more than they had expected. There wasn’t a great deal to do even with only two of them to share the work. A nucleus of hands had taken to remaining at the Ponderosa throughout the winter and they carried out the main chores round the barn, checking and feeding the stock. They were fairly used to Adam’s absences and now, with his own house sitting as testimony that he would be returning, it was in a way easier than some of his other absences, but to make up for that was Joe’s absence. The first long one, he had been on tips before even spending nearly seven weeks in Frisco once but now he was on a different continent. Hoss missed his brother’s teasing; the house seemed very quiet without him. Both men were slightly surprised just how much they missed Carole and the twins; all three had so quickly become part of their lives.
The worst time was Christmas, especially Christmas Eve so quiet without Adam’s guitar and Christmas day itself. Adam and Joe had left presents with Hop Sing to pass out on the day but presents didn’t really help. Beth, Dan, Roy and half a dozen other old friends were coming for dinner and to stay overnight for the usual Boxing Day party but it wasn’t the same.
Ben was rereading the only letter that they had had so far, about an hour before the guests were due. Joe had sent a card from New York and then the letter from Adam posted as they docked in Southampton. Ben was sure that something had been wrong although Adam hadn’t told his father about the illness on board ship. There would be time for that once they were all safely home and Ben could see for himself that there were no permanent ill effects. Joe had agreed with his brother’s decision and had added a postscript that they had contacted Johnny and were about to leave for London before posting the letter, when Adam had collapsed. Even so there was something in the tone of Adam’s letter, which worried Ben anyway.
Hoss saw the expression on his father’s face and moved over to grip his shoulder “They’re better away, leastways Joe is. Just this year and he needs Adam more than we do.”
“I know that Son, but something is wrong. Adam doesn’t say it, but it’s there in every line.”
“Come on Pa, he says they have all arrived fine and Joe says they’ve met Johnny, so what can be wrong?”
Ben shook his head, “Look at me and say that Hoss. You know your brother as well as I do. You’ve seen the same in his letter.”
Hoss shrugged but as his father insisted on an answer he slowly nodded. “Well maybe but it can’t be serious, they’re all together. Maybe he and Joe had a row or Carole was seasick, who knows.”
“You’re right Hoss. I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. I juts miss them all, especially today.”
Hoss nodded and poured out two drinks “It won’t be for long Pa. Anyway Beth will be here soon, she’ll cheer you up.”
Ben punched his big son on the shoulder and went up to change. During the remaining weeks of their absence Ben never felt quite as depressed as that morning. More letters arrived and it was obvious all three were enjoying themselves but were looking forward to coming home. Joe seemed to be benefiting from the break according to his eldest son and anyway the time for their return grew closer.
In London, the babies were thriving and Carole had no hesitation in leaving them with the very efficient Nanny at Johnny’s. At first it was just for a long weekend as Adam accepted an invitation to go into the country for hunting. He had been before when staying in England and enjoyed the ride and now after several weeks in town he was eager to get out on horseback and even Carole felt the desire to get out. She would have to ride sidesaddle but she had done that at home before heading west and, although much preferring riding astride, was a competent horsewoman either way.
Joe had joined them and the three had had an excellent weekend with a hunt and some fishing as well as the chance to ride over Johnny’s large Leicestershire estate. This time Adam was happy to take a feisty stallion to ride, his back so much better than on his previous visit.
When they got back to town Carole had instantly run up to the nursery but although the twins were happy to see their mother she couldn’t flatter herself that they had actually missed her. Content that they were happy she was willing to join Adam on other long weekends and towards the end of January when he suggested that they could spend a week in Paris she was very willing. At first Adam had been very dubious about making trips to the continent but everything seemed to be peaceful and after making careful enquiries about the safety of such a visit he had decided to go ahead.
Adam stayed up that night wanting to see his brother. Joe was out for the evening and Adam didn’t know where he had been going. Adam and Carole had been to the opera and the music was still running through his mind as he sat making some preliminary calculations for the flumes. He had expected to have the job finished by now, but with the upsets of illness and then the Christmas festivities, he had barely made a start. It was nearly three when Joe finally arrived back. He had been to a ball and then gone onto one of the clubs with friends. Joe was surprised to find Adam still up and for a moment he was scared that something was wrong. That was obvious on his face, but Adam’s gentle smile dispelled his fears as Adam quickly reassured him that there wasn’t any trouble. “I just wanted a word with you Joe. Carole and I are going to a house-party down in Hampshire for the next two days with Johnny and his wife and you said something about going hunting.”
“Yeah and I need an early start.” Joe said yawning widely “So what’s wrong?”
“Nothing wrong little brother but Carole and I have decided that its safe enough to go and spend a few days in Paris and I’m going to arrange it for the end of next week. Stay for about a week. I just wondered if you would like to join us?”
Joe had made some tentative plans but nothing that he couldn’t put off and he jumped at the idea of seeing yet another country. Adam was pleased and good-naturedly shooed his brother off to bed, with the promise that he would make all the arrangements for the three of them. Joe went willingly, promising to catch up all the news with his brother in three days time. Adam collected his papers together and followed his brother up.
Adam had carried out careful research before venturing on his Paris trip. He knew that less than a year earlier the city had been a bloodbath, in the aftermath of the Franco- Prussian war the communards had taken control only to be ruthlessly put down. Paris was peaceful now but Adam had no intention of risking his wife in any areas where there were still tensions. There was a well-established artists' colony in the Marais district with at least three Americans that Adam had met and from there they could visit Notre Dame and the Louvre. Adam had letters of introduction from Johnny to a cousin living in Paris and the address of one of his own acquaintances from Cambridge, now in the diplomatic service and based in Paris.
During the day they went to the races, sightseeing round the town and shopping in some small shops with unusual clothes and paintings. In the evening they were soon faced with a choice of balls, theatre visits and dinner parties. These visitors from the west of the United States had novelty value and everyone wanted their presence. Adam was quietly amused as Joe and Carole weighed up the pros and cons of various invitations, but he was very willing to go along with whatever his wife and brother wanted. He did lead them to some small bars during the day, typically french and met up with some of the artists working in the area. Adam bought several paintings although Joe was most unimpressed with most of them. Joe was in his element at a horse race and, if he could have worked out how to do it, would have bought the winner of one race, an attractive chestnut stallion and transported him to the Ponderosa. As it was he had to be content with the sizeable win he had made betting on the stallion.
All three were sorry when the week was up and they had to head back to London. Adam’s thoughts were beginning to turn to the homeward journey. He wanted to be home before the end of March and had already booked their passage home. He wanted to return some of the hospitality that they had received and on the journey back to London the three laid plans for a farewell party at one of the main hotels in town, for all the friends old and new that they had made during their stay.
When they got home the twins were very happy to see their parents and even their Uncle and for the first day had the almost undivided attention of the three adults, but then Adam got a message from Edwin. Edwin had arrived in London on the final part of his European tour and Adam was easily inveigled into joining him at the theatre, knowing Carole was happy to spend some time with their sons.
In the end Joe took over nearly all the arrangements for the party as Adam and Carole spent time with Edwin. At first Joe was unconcerned, but it was all working out much more expensive than he had expected and he had used up nearly all the money he had had transferred in his name. Eventually he managed to catch Adam at dinner and ask for a private word. Adam saw that his brother was worried and joined Joe in his bedroom, wondering what trouble he had got himself into. Joe was almost apologetic as he asked his brother for some money and close to losing his temper when Adam’s reaction was to laugh at him. Adam had been meaning to settle up with his brother but he hadn’t realised that his brother was that short. “I always told you that you’d never be as rich as me little brother. What do you do with money?”
Joe shrugged, he had been out a lot and the money had just gone. He had expensive presents for his father and Hoss and quite a lot of clothes. Even so he was having a job to hold onto his temper. Seeing the angry flash in Joe’s eye, Adam slipped an arm round his shoulder “Sorry little brother. Cheer up, it really doesn’t matter, I had realised that I’d left you to pay for rather a lot. Anyway I had a letter from Pa, the Consolidated Virginia have upped their dividend again.”
He threw the letter to Joe and then, to his brother’s utter amazement, he pulled a wad of notes out of his pocket. Little Joe sat open mouthed until his brother asked if he was trying to catch a fly.
Joe shook his head in disbelief “How much have you got there?”
“Just over three and a half thousand pounds.”
“Do you usually carry that much money?”
“No little brother. I drew five hundred this morning. I knew that I had to settle up with you and then I got inveigled into going to that new gaming club.” Adam grinned “They think they can play poker! After just over an hour I think they were pleased to see me leave.”
Joe laughed, he knew his brother was a good poker player although he didn’t play very often. “A couple more visits and you can pay for this trip!”
"I have a few other winnings.” Adam admitted, “I’m not short.” He peeled of five hundred pounds “Pay the bills Joe and put the rest in your bank. Don’t carry too much cash.”
Joe punched his shoulder at that piece of cheek, but then bit his lip “I wasn’t on the cadge.”
“Don’t be daft Joe. Who’s counting? Enjoy yourself, it’s going to be a very busy summer.”
The party Adam and Joe had arranged went off very well, with all their friends there, even Edwin and Jim came along after their show finished. Mrs Lewis had joined them for the meal and the early part of the evening, both brothers had found time to visit her two or three times during their visit and grown fond of the elderly lady. It was nearly five in the morning by the time the last guests left. In most cases it was goodbye, none of them being sure when they would return to Europe. As they saw the last people leave Adam went to settle up the final bills, Joe and Carole settled on a sofa to wait for him. Johnny had taken his wife and sister home half an hour earlier. Carole was quiet, very tired, still short on stamina after her illness and Joe slightly worried put his arm round her shoulders “Very thoughtful Carole.”
“I’m fine Joe, just be glad to get home now Joe. I miss Pa and Hoss and my own home.”
Joe kissed her forehead “I know exactly how you feel Carole. I’ve enjoyed myself, seen things I never dreamt I could, but more than anything I want to get on Cochise and ride round the Ponderosa.”
Adam came back over and frowned as he took in their expressions “Cheer up you two, it can’t be that bad.”
Carole got to her feet and took his arm “Touch of homesickness.”
Adam looked worriedly from his wife to his brother. He had been enjoying himself and he thought they both had too. Now maybe they’d only stayed for his sake. He bit his lip “I thought you were enjoying yourselves.”
Carole met her brother-in-law’s eye and laughed, remembering Joe’s comment before about Adam’s ability to blame himself for everything. Joe laughed too, knowing exactly what she was thinking and Adam looked from one to the other puzzled "I don't understand.” Joe took Carole's free arm "Nothing to understand big brother. We've all had a wonderful holiday, seen a new and a very different life. Fine while it lasts but now its time to go home, back to reality and we’re ready and eager to get there. Don’t tell me you are any different I know you too well.”
Adam smiled “It’ll be good to see Pa and Hoss and I admit it’s been a while since we rode up into the back country.” The three went back to Johnny’s together all very close. They’d enjoyed their winter’s break but now wanted to get back to their real world the beautiful land they owned.
Joe couldn’t settle and once Adam and Carole went inside he wandered off for a walk in the empty streets. For the first time he wanted to be up by the Lake, by Marie, with an almost physical pain. He had needed the break, new people, new places to fill the long winter’s days without enough work to do. Now he wanted to explain how he had flirted and played but that it had never reached deep, never touched the love he still had for her. That he knew what she wanted and one day he could love again but even then he wouldn’t affect her place in his heart. She’d known that and now he did too. After this break he thought he could take part in the normal social life back home again, maybe not without a few pangs of what might have been, but with enough control to even enjoy himself. Maybe, if his luck was really in, he might find someone half as special as Marie had been. Joe walked for hours before returning for a late breakfast and then disappeared upstairs to get his packing done.
Adam and Carole finished the bulk of the packing before going down to spend a quiet day with Johnny and Beth. Johnny was taking them back to Southampton the following morning. Johnny was hoping to come to America the following year, maybe round Christmas and looking forward to visiting the Ponderosa again. Carole tried to persuade Beth to come too but she shook her head. She was sure they were right and it was very beautiful but she would wait and hear her brother’s stories when he came home and stay in her usual world. She had thoroughly enjoyed their visit and hoped, when the twins were older that they would come again, but for now she was content to keep in touch by letter.
Adam had collected some useful books and he packed those carefully, with the presents he had bought for his father and brother. He packed separately all the things he would need to finish the plans for the two new flumes and then late in the evening Adam left Carole to sleep while he walked round the famous monuments of London for the last time, at least for the foreseeable future. He had taken Carole to Cambridge and to many of the places he had known before and he had been much happier this time, but he had to admit that Joe was right, he too was homesick.
The journey home seemed to take longer that the journey over, although the actual number of days were shorter. The ship reminded Adam all too vividly how nearly he had lost Carole and David and he was very glad to have work to bury himself in, as he slowly drew up the detailed plans for the flumes. There was nothing either Carole or Joe could do to help him. The detailed mathematics was beyond Joe and anyway Adam seemed content so they looked after the twins, who were increasingly active, and enjoyed the varying moods of the sea, socialising with the other passengers even if there wasn’t another Mrs Lewis. By the time they reached New York Adam had all but finished, just detailed work orders for the mill to be written out.
They were all in agreement, wanting to get home and Adam was able to book first class berths on the train for the following day. When he got back to the hotel he found that Joe had been busy too, To round off their holiday he had bought tickets for a concert that night and arranged for a babysitter. Adam was very touched and they all enjoyed the magnificent music, two of Adam’s favourites, Beethoven’s Eroica in the first half and Schubert’s 9th Symphony, the Great C major to finish. As they came out Adam linked arms with his wife and brother “That was marvellous Joe, a fitting end to a long holiday. Ready for work now?”
Joe laughed “Just about and I guess any chores Hoss wants to pass my way I can’t argue about.”
Carole summed it up “It’s been great but it’ll be good to get home and see Pa and Hoss.”
Adam telegraphed Hoss from New York telling him when they were due into Reno; with even more luggage than when they started he asked to have the buckboard meet them there. He told Hoss to let Kam Su know so that his house would be ready.
There were plenty of hands on the Ponderosa to handle a routine job of taking the buckboard up to Reno, but both Adam and Joe would have been very disappointed if Hoss hadn’t allocated the job to himself. Equally they were looking for his big figure on the platform as the train pulled into Reno, even though it was nearly 3 a.m. Adam had already booked rooms at the hotel by telegraph and he had all their things ready to unload as the train pulled in. Hoss wasn’t difficult to spot, much taller than anyone else waiting, apart from his father standing next to him. The brothers grinned broadly, neither had been sure if Ben would be able to spare the time when the work was beginning to build up around the ranch. They were home slightly earlier than Adam had originally intended, but the connections had worked out best that way.
Joe was first off the train and gave both his father and brother a big hug “It’s good to see you.”
Ben grinned “And you young man. Now let’s get your brother and his brood off the train with all that luggage that you needed help with.” Once it was piled on the platform Ben had to admit he saw the reason for the request for help. Carole was tired and the twins crying, so after quick greetings, Adam took his family up to a room to try and get a little rest, arranging to meet the others for breakfast.
Joe willingly joined Hoss and Ben in the bar much too excited to settle, talking nineteen to the dozen as he tried to tell them all he’d seen and done while he’d been away. Ben was delighted to see his son full of the joy of living again. Joe had seemed to lose it after Marie’s death and it had always been one of his main charms. Joe tried to describe Paris one moment, and the next it was the fun of fox hunting. His father and brother just let him carry on until Joe ran out of breath and grabbed his beer. Then Ben asked “Adam and Carole okay? I thought she looked very tired.”
Not really thinking, forgetting they had omitted to tell their father about the diphtheria, Joe said “She’s fine now, just a little bit low on stamina.”
The sudden silence and frowns that greeted that statement reminded him of Adam’s decision and he put his hand up in a peace sign. "Not tactful. I’m sorry I guess I am more tired than I thought, Forgot we didn’t tell, you.”
“Explain Joseph.”
“Well it was all over before we could write and Adam thought it best to wait until you could see for yourself there was no permanent damage. It was on the ship, three days out, a diphtheria epidemic, Carole went down first and then the following night David got sick.” Joe stared into his beer as he told them how close they were to losing Carole and her child, and his brother’s long often almost despairing fight.” Then he looked up “Johnny Sutherland had the queen’s own paediatrician called in. He passed David fit. Also said Adam pulled off a miracle, he knew of no case where such a young child had survived.”
Neither Ben nor Hoss could answer for a moment, both could imagine the details of those long hours, details neither Adam nor Joe would ever give. Joe finished his beer and then smiled at his father “We weren’t going to tell you until we got home but maybe its better this way. He had nightmares about it for a while. It cost him a lot to save David but it’s all over and with God’s help everyone is fine.”
Ben put his arm round his youngest son “I’m sure that Adam was very glad you were along.”
“I helped a bit but it was Adam really, too obstinate to give in.”
The next day they got an early start, Hoss had brought Cochise for Joe and Chub for himself so Adam and his family took the buckboard while the other three rode alongside. When they stopped for lunch Ben took the chance to speak to his eldest son, tell him what Joe had said. Adam did his best to reassure his father, it had been hell for a few days but that was long over and both Carole and David were fine. Ben could see the remembered pain in his son’s eyes but when Adam changed the subject he went along with his son’s obvious disinclination to talk about it.
All of them wanted to get home and with Carole and the twins both fast asleep the four men pushed on through the evening, they had only taken short stops for food and not long after midnight Adam’s house came into view. Joe had a quiet word with his father and then cut up towards the lake. Adam watched him go, not really surprised and Ben said “He’ll be okay, it’s only natural he should want to go up there, you’ve been away a long time.”
Adam smiled “I’m not worried about my little brother Pa. He’s at peace with himself now, after all it’s nearly a year. He’ll still have some dark days I know but I don’t think he’ll lose that peace again.”
“It’s very late Son, you take Carole and the twins in. We’ll see to the horses and the unpacking can wait until tomorrow. We’ll catch up all the news then.”
“Thanks Pa. I just hope I can get the twins to bed without waking them.”
Carole stirred enough to say goodnight to Ben and Hoss and then willingly headed for bed. Adam was slightly concerned he knew it had been a long journey but she seemed rather more tired than he would have expected.
Once the twins were settled he joined Carole in bed and asked tentatively “Are you alright my love, you seem to be tiring easily. Should I get Doc out to check you over? I know that diphtheria took its toll but...”
Carole put her fingers on his lips and grinned at him “You are not very observant my darling.”
Adam stared at her, seeing the imp of mischief dancing in her eyes, “Carole?”
“Other things can be tiring. It’s not the diphtheria I’m completely recovered from that.”
“Okay so I’m being dim-witted. Explain.” Adam had almost guessed but he wasn’t sure. She saw the truth dawn in his eyes and she kissed him “I’m pregnant again.”
“When?”
“The end of August as far as I can tell.”
Adam worked that out and pulled away “Four months and you didn’t tell me?"
“I thought you would notice but I’m glad you didn’t. I know you my love you would only have worried with a long journey. That was the only reason I didn’t tell you."
Adam held her tight, pleased by her news and not quite as terrified as he’d been before, “Well my little expert, is it another boy or a girl as lovely as her mother?”
Carole grinned “I rather think its a girl and just one this time I think, although I can’t be sure, but I’m not nearly as big as I was with the twins.”
“You are beautiful.”
“Promise not to worry so much this time. You know that I can bear children safely.”
“I’ll try but you know me, a born worrier.” At least his voice was light hearted and she could see how pleased he was at her news. They soon settled down and Adam held her lightly as she slept. He could understand why she’d delayed telling him, she knew him very well and he would have worried. Eventually tired after the journey he slept until the twins woke them early the next morning.
For one day Ben ignored all the work beginning to pile up and the family sorted out presents, all the other things they had bought and far more importantly they talked, catching up on each other’s news. It wasn’t until they were sitting round with coffee after lunch that Adam told the rest of the family that Carole was pregnant again. The other three congratulated Adam and Carole and began estimating the chances of it being a girl. Adam laughed at them, they spoilt the twins, God knows what they would do with a girl, she’d twist them all round her little finger, Even Joe had to laugh at that. He had been rather quiet thinking of Marie and her child but at the idea of a little girl bullying both his big brothers, as would be inevitable; he let out a peal of laughter, which rang through the house.
Ben relaxed in his chair by the fire looking fondly at his family complete again now, the twins playing on the floor by Adam’s feet. His eldest son totally content with his lovely wife on his lap and his stalwart middle son, content now his brothers and best friends were home again. His gaze settled on his youngest more relaxed than he had seen him in a long time. Adam had been right Joe had needed the break but now he was happy to be back home where he belonged. Ben loved his ranch, the beautiful land that he had made his own, not least for the sense of purpose it gave him and all his sons. It meant that they were building their lives here with him, not vanishing to another part of the world with only an occasional letter to keep in touch, as he had with his own siblings. He smiled gently as he sent a prayer of thanks to God for his good fortune and prayed for it to continue.

RETURN TO LIBRARY