POW 251
by
Lynne C.
Little Joe Cartwright, ten years old, and as some people had been
heard to say, cute as a button, sat in church, knowing that he was in
deep trouble.
`It was only meant to be a bit of fun,' he thought to himself, for
about the hundredth time. `Why do grown ups havta take stuff so
seriously?'
Joe had been in trouble, only the week before, because his best friend
Mitch had dared him to let off a firework in the church porch. Joe,
who prided himself on never refusing a dare, agreed. About halfway
through the sermon, he had whispered to his father that he needed to
visit the outhouse, and that he couldn't wait until the service was
over. Ben allowed him to go and once Joe got out on the porch, he lit
the firecracker and then ran back to his seat.
As it went off, the congregation rose, as one, convinced that there
were outlaws at the door, coming to shoot them all, and pandemonium
ensued. Ben immediately suspected Joe, but the boy turned on his puppy
dog look and it convinced Ben that he was innocent. However, as they
were heading towards their carriage, some matches fell out of the
boy's pocket. Joe had no reason to be carrying matches, and so Ben
knew that it had been his youngest, who had let off the firecracker.
Ben marched Joe back into the church and made him apologise to the
Reverend Hammond.
"If there are any chores, which Joe can do for you, Reverend, in order
to make up for what he did, then he will be more than happy to do
them, won't you, son?" said Ben.
"Yes, sir," said Joe, although he didn't sound that keen.
"Thank you, Little Joe," said the reverend. "You can come
here after
school, every day next week, and work for me, for an hour. What is
your penmanship like?"
"Huh?" said Joe, and Ben explained that the reverend wanted to
know
what his handwriting was like.
"Oh, well, it ain't that good," said Joe. "Adam says it
looks like a
spider's fallen in the ink and walked across the page, but it comes
from me being left handed."
"It's probably better than mine, and my wife, who usually writes up
the notes that I announce during the service, has broken her arm, so
she can't do them for me, at the moment. That will be one of the
things I will require you to do, along with polishing the brasses, and
tidying up the flower beds."
"That sounds very fair, Reverend," said Ben. "I will make
sure that
Joseph remembers to come to the church each day, after school."
They then headed for home, where Joe received a lecture about his bad
behaviour, with a warning of the consequences, should he mess up
again, when in church.
"If there is one place where your behaviour should be exemplary, it
is
when you are inside the house of the Lord," said Ben. "And if
you ever
misbehave, while we are there, again, you will feel how angry I am, on
the seat of your pants, young man."
Joe made sure that he stayed out of trouble, for the next few days,
and he went over to the church, after school, and did all the chores
that the Reverend Hammond asked him to do.
He didn't mind the gardening all that much, as Hop Sing often had him
weeding the flowerbeds at the Ponderosa, and he quite enjoyed tending
to the plants. And cleaning the brass railings and other fittings in
the church, although a rather boring task, wasn't that difficult,
either. But he wasn't keen on writing up the notes for the reverend's
sermon, and all the messages that needed conveying to the
congregation, mainly because he hated having to sit at a desk, and
stay still, for too long. Most of the time, he wasn't paying that much
attention to what he was writing. However, when he realised that they
were notices of intention to marry, and reminders of events that were
to be held in the town, or close by, he decided he could have some fun
with them. Not only was he writing up notes for the reverend to read
out, he also had to do some posters to go on the church notice board,
which was situated in the porch.
He wrote one for the notice board, which said that the Widow
Pettigrew, who was a rather bad tempered lady, who hated children, but
loved chickens, was prepared to pay $20 each, for any chicken that was
taken to her house. She and Joe had clashed, on more than one
occasion, and she was someone that the boy just did not like.
Therefore, he was giggling to himself, as he imagined her reaction,
when all these people turned up, at her house, demanding that she
bought their chickens, at such an outrageous price. Joe also wrote
one, announcing the marriage of his brother, Adam, to his
schoolteacher, Miss Abigail Jones. Ever since Adam had returned home
from four years at college, back east, Miss Jones had made it clear
that she had a huge crush on the young man. Unfortunately, for her, it
was not reciprocated; in fact Adam usually had the urge to run in the
opposite direction, whenever he saw her. Then, he wrote one that said
his brother, Hoss, would take on all comers in a flapjack-eating
contest. The entrance fee of $5 each, was to be paid to Joe
Cartwright. `Should be an easy way to make some money,' thought Joe.
He also announced that Bruno, the barman in the Bucket of Blood, would
give anyone, who had attended the service, a free drink, on the
following Friday night.
Within the reverend's announcements, Joe changed some of the names, so
that when they were read out, they would sound funny. So Mr Ben
Overton, became Mr Ben Dover and Mr Neil Donner, became Mr Neil Down.
At the time, it all seemed like harmless fun, but when his family, and
the other members of the congregation, read the notices, and the
Reverend Hammond began to read out his notes, and received some rather
strange reactions, to what he was saying, Joe became rather worried.
`Uh oh, I'm really in for it this time…I shouldn't have told that
little white lie, well, none of those white lies, I guess,' thought
Joe, and when the service was over, and he found himself over Pa's
knee, he was sure he shouldn't have told them.
THE END
Little Joe forever
Lynne
June 24th 2006