In the Bushes, Out Again...Is There
No Place?
By
Debbie B.
He'd ridden for miles without stopping, trying to ignore the urge, but
the time had come, he'd have to stop or be sorry. The sloshing in his lower
body told him that another quarter mile and he'd be hard pressed to explain
himself to his sons when he finally met up with them down the trail.
Ben searched all around, groaning when he found no 'private' place, no bushes,
not even a rock. He pulled Buck to a stop and glanced all around, yes, he
was alone, though completely out in the open. Shaking his head, ignoring
the gurgling, he admitted it. "Dadburnit...I can't just do it here...in
the wide open!"
Sighing, Ben nudged Buck again into action. After riding for a short spell,
Ben at last found what he was looking for. In the distance he could see
a small grouping of bushes. "The perfect spot," he grinned, urging
his mount into a more brisk movement.
The instance his big buckskin came to a stop, Ben was on the ground and
racing in behind the bushes. His usual nimble fingers had for the first
time, betrayed him, they acted as all thumbs as he tugged at the buttons
on his trousers. "Oh good grief," he proclaimed aloud while dancing
around doing what Little Joe used to call, 'The Pee-Pee' dance. "I
can't believe this!" he snarled as the fingers and buttons apparently
refused to work together.
Ben was practically standing on his toes in his urgency to get his trousers
unbuttoned. After what seemed a lifetime, Ben was down to one button...relief
was within reach...at last.
"HEY PA!"
"Oh dear Lord!" stammered Ben, embarrassed and fumbling now to
redo the buttons, the urge seemingly gone. "WHAT!" his deep voice
bellowed from behind the bushes. He came into sight of his youngest son,
who sat grinning, upon his painted horse, who in that instant decided to
do just what Ben had been hoping to do. Ben averted his eyes, trying to
keep the sight from signaling his own discomfort.
"What's you doin' behind those bushes?" Joe taunted.
"It's none of your business what I was doing behind those bushes, you
noisy little rapscallion!"
Joe's eyes twinkled; his grin was lopsided as he dismounted and walking
around his father, stepped behind the bushes. "Good, cause I gotta
relieve myself...I thought you might be doing the same thing."
Ben's lips were drawn tight as he rolled his eyes upward. "No...certainly
not out here in the middle of nowhere...there's too many people..."
"What did you say, Pa?" Joe called from his hideaway in the bushes,
once occupied by his father.
"Never mind...just hurry it up, we've got work to do..."
With that, Ben mounted up, waiting for his son to join him. As soon as Joe
was finished, they rode off, Ben acutely aware that the sloshing had begun
all over again.
"Oh for heaven's sake," he muttered lowly. "Maybe I just
need to see Doc Martin..."
"Did you say something Pa?" Joe asked.
"No...you must be imagining things...just like I must be....I wonder
if I do need to see the doc?" At that moment, Ben made himself a promise,
one to check with Doc about...about...aw...dadburnit, you get the idea!