Why Do I Always Get the Dirtiest Jobs Around Here?
By
Lynne C.
"Why do I always get the dirtiest jobs around here?" muttered
the
usually even tempered Hoss Cartwright, as he steadied himself, before
standing up in the pond.
Earlier that afternoon, Sunday afternoon, no less, after enjoying a
wonderful lunch, cooked to perfection by Hop Sing, Ben suddenly
cleared his throat and said, "Oh Hoss, I've got a little job for you,
son."
Hoss was just making himself comfortable in the pink velvet chair,
twin to the blue one, which his older brother Adam had already
claimed, and was looking forward to a nice after lunch nap.
"A job, Pa? Does it havta be done, today? It's Sunday, ya know, the
day of rest."
"I know that, son, and I wouldn't ask, except that I promised
delivery, today."
Hoss was very tempted to say that if Pa had made the promise, then it
should be Pa who made the delivery, but his upbringing prevented him
from being that disrespectful.
"Ya did?"
"Yes, son, I did, and I hate to go back on a promise, especially when
there are children involved."
"Children?" queried Hoss.
"Yes, the delivery is for the orphanage."
"And jest what is it that the orphanage needs so urgently?"
"A couple of piglets. Sister Charity wants them today, so that she
has
time to teach the children how to care for them. If they don't get
them until tomorrow, then the children will be in school and so won't
be around when the piglets arrive."
"I guess they do need ta be there, today, then," said Hoss, heaving
himself out of the chair. "Okay, Pa, you have your delivery boy."
"I knew I could count on you, son," said Ben, smiling at Hoss.
Hoss looked over at Adam, who was almost asleep, and sighed.
"I would've thought Adam was more likely ta be the one you could count
on, Pa. After all, he's the one with the fancy college education."
"I know all about the theory, Hoss, but I need you to carry out the
practicalities," said Adam, who wasn't really asleep, but had been
pretending to be so. "You are so good with animals. They all trust
you
and know you'll take care of them, so getting those pigs over to the
orphanage will be a piece of cake for an expert like you."
"Mmmm, piece of cake," said Hoss. "I could sure do with
some of that,
about now."
"When you get over to that orphanage, with those pigs, big brother,
I
betcha that Sister Charity will reward you with the biggest bit of
cake you've ever seen," said Joe, as he walked down the stairs.
"And where do you think you are going, young man?" asked Ben,
taking
in the fact that Joe had changed his clothes, and was now dressed in a
clean pair of tan pants and a freshly ironed grey shirt.
"Just off to pay a call on Miss Susan, the new girl in town,"
said
Joe. "I managed to speak to her, after church, this morning, and she
told me that she would be happy to see me, this afternoon. So, if you
will excuse me, gentlemen, I will see you all later."
With that, Joe disappeared out of the front door.
"Typical," said Hoss. "It's Sunday afternoon and Joe is
out, sparkin'
a gal, Adam is dozin' in the chair, you're readin' the paper, Pa, and
I am off, ta deliver pigs. Don't worry, I'm gonna go, but jest
sometimes I wish I wasn't known as the critter expert in this family."
Hoss headed for the barn and soon had the team hitched up to the
buckboard. He then collected a wooden crate from one of the
outbuildings and took it over to the pig sty, which contained the last
two piglets from the latest litter.
It was true that Hoss did have a special rapport with animals and he
soon had the piglets installed in the crate.
He then lifted it up and placed it in the buckboard.
"Come on, fellas, let's git ya delivered ta your new home, then I
can
come back and enjoy what's left of ma day of rest."
Hoss set off for the orphanage, at a brisk pace, but soon felt the
need to slow down, as it was a warm afternoon and he didn't want to
cause the horses to get over heated.
The road, at this point, was a pretty straight one, so he didn't have
to give the horses that much direction, through the reins. Therefore,
he only had a loose hold on them, and was leaning back in the seat,
when the wheels suddenly hit a large rut, causing the wagon to bounce,
rather alarmingly. The crate, containing the piglets, fell off the
buckboard, and as it hit the ground, it broke. The piglets ran off, so
Hoss gave chase. He was relieved to see that neither piglet was
showing any sign of injury, but it meant that they were going to be
harder to catch.
As they disappeared from his view, he suddenly realised, with a
sinking heart, that there was a small pond up ahead.
"Oh no," he shouted, but, as he rounded the bend, he could see
that he
was too late.
There were the piglets, rooting around in the shallows, and churning
up the muddy bottom of the pond.
He tried all he could to get the piglets out of the water, without
actually going in it, himself, but, eventually, he realised that he
was going to have to do just that. So, he waded in, and tried to
encourage the piglets to leave the pond and return to the wagon.
`So much fer my way with animals,' he thought, when, after thirty
minutes, the piglets were still in the water and he was wet, muddy and
tired.
"Here, little piggy, piggy, piggy," he said, but they just ignored him.
Hoss was just about ready to give up, and return to the Ponderosa,
when he heard the sound of someone coming. He looked up, in the
direction from where he'd heard the sound, and soon, several children
were standing on the edge of the pond. Before long, they were joined
by Sister Charity, the nun who ran the orphanage.
"Oh my, friend Hoss, why are you standing in that pond?" she said.
"Howdy, Sister," replied Hoss. "Trying to catch those dadburned
piglets, that's why."
As he was speaking, the piglets ran out of the water and over to the
children, who were tempting them with some scraps left over from their
lunch, which they had brought with them, in a bucket.
"The children were so anxious to see the piglets that they persuaded
me to bring them along the road to meet you," explained Sister
Charity. "And little Patrick thought that a bucket of food might be
a
nice welcome present for them."
"It certainly seems ta be doin' the trick," said Hoss, as he
watched
the piglets follow the children back up the hill, to the orphanage.
"Yes, it does, so I don't think we need trouble you any longer, friend
Hoss," said the sister. "We'll take the piglets the rest of the
way
and you can go back home. Please thank your father, once again, for
his very generous gift."
"Sure thing, ma'am," said Hoss, and he said his goodbyes.
Although he was relieved to be out of the pond and free of the
piglets, Hoss was a little upset that he hadn't made it all the way to
the orphanage. He knew that if he had, Sister Charity would have
offered him some coffee and at least one slice of the delicious cake
that she was famous for making.
`Guess she didn't wanna have me goin' back with her, and messin' up
her nice clean floors,' he thought, as he rode home.
He certainly looked a bit of a mess, and when he arrived back home, he
found that Hop Sing didn't want him in the Ponderosa, either.
"Big boy not come in, drop mud on floor," grumbled Hop Sing.
"Go wash
house, clean up, then Hop Sing let you in."
By the time Hoss had bathed and changed his clothes, it was supper
time, so he'd missed his chance for a snooze in the armchair.
"Never mind, son, you should feel good, on the inside and the
outside," said Ben.
"What d'ya mean by that, Pa?" said Hoss.
"Well, you've had a bath, so you're clean on the outside, and your
good deed, in delivering the piglets, should've made you feel good on
the inside, too."
Hoss grinned at his father.
"Ya know, Pa, you're right, it did."
THE END
February 23rd 2008