The Journey
By: Rona Y.
It was day four. Joe was no
longer sure what day of the week it actually was; he just knew it was day four
of the hardest cattle drive he had ever been on. He adjusted the bandanna over
his nose and mouth, but it didn’t stop the dust insinuating itself into his
nasal passages. He sneezed once more and then began to cough. He hated riding
drag. He was coated in dust and so was his mount, the black and white coat
obscured beneath the beige powder that Joe knew – from bitter experience –
would be caking his body, too.
The Cartwright herd was
vast that year – the biggest it had ever been. The profit on this drive was
expected to be about $70,000. That was great for the ranch and Joe knew his
father was excited about the big profit, but the logistics of getting a huge
number of stubborn cattle to
By the time they stopped
for the night and the herd was settled, Joe was so tired that his eyelashes
ached. He dismounted stiffly at the horse lines and slowly unsaddled Cochise.
The pinto was tired, too, standing with his head down. Joe got his feed and
started to brush the dust out of his coat. He began to cough as the dust caught
in his throat once more.
“Here,” said a deep voice
and a hand took the brush from Joe. “You go and sit down, Joe.”
“But, Pa,” Joe began, but
Ben was having none of it.
“I’ll tend to your horse,
Joe,” Ben repeated. “Go get washed up and have something to eat. You’re tired.”
“So are you,” Joe objected
hoarsely. “I’m fine, Pa, honest.”
Smiling, Ben took Joe by
the shoulders, turned him in the direction of the chuck wagon and gave him a
small tap on the butt. “Do what you’re told, boy!” he ordered sternly. “Sit
down before you fall down.”
Recognising an immovable object
when he met one, Joe obediently tottered off to the chuck wagon where Cookie
had hot water for him to wash in and a plate of hot stew. It was only when he
sat down and stopped moving that Joe realised how utterly exhausted he was. He
had had early watch that morning and had been up since
“You all right, Joe?” Adam
asked, observing the partially closed eyes as Joe slowly ate his meal. Adam was
bone tired himself.
“Mmm,” Joe agreed. “You?”
He glanced at both his brothers, who had reached the coffee stage.
“I ain’t bin so tired
since… since…” Hoss began.
“Since last year?” Adam
suggested, laconically.
Joe sniggered as Hoss
glared at their older brother. Every year, Hoss told them he couldn’t remember
when he had last been so tired. Adam always had some retort ready for him and
Hoss always glared at him. It didn’t seem to affect Adam in the slightest.
“I’m gonna git some
shut-eye,” Hoss announced.
“Sounds like a good idea,”
Ben agreed, coming into the circle of the firelight. “I think we should all get
some sleep.”
“What about the night
watches?” Adam asked.
“You go on at
“What about me?” Joe
mumbled around the last mouthful of his supper.
“You get some sleep,” Ben
replied.
“I can do my share!” Joe
responded, indignantly.
Sighing, Ben nodded. “I
know you can, son, but don’t forget, you’ve been sick.” Joe had just got over a
nasty chest infection and although he was better, Ben knew that he still tended
to tire more easily than usual. “Don’t worry, Joe, you’ll do your share of the
watch, but you had the
“All right,” Joe agreed, as
though he had had a choice in the matter, Ben thought, amused. “I guess it’ll
be nice to sleep all night.”
Both of Joe’s brothers hid
a smile at this attempt to prove that he wasn’t exhausted. “Then I’ll turn in,
too,” Adam commented. “Night.”
“G’night, Pa,” Joe yawned
as he rose to find his own bedroll.
“Good night, boys,” Ben replied.
He was just as tired as his sons and within a short time, they were all soundly
asleep, despite Hoss’ vigorous snoring.
*************************
Morning came far too soon
for Joe, but he did his best to rise without complaining too much and by the
end of his second cup of coffee, he was feeling a lot more human. Hoss, yawning
widely, joined Joe for breakfast, but little was said. Everyone was saving
their energy for the hard day ahead of them.
It was as Joe arrived to
relieve the man who had been standing watch at the back of the herd that he
realised that the man was not there. Cursing, for who knew how far the cattle
might have strayed, Joe turned back. “Pa!”
“What is it, Joe?” Ben
asked, frowning. The day hadn’t got started yet. What could Joe want?
“The man who was watching
drag is gone,” Joe reported.
“Damn!” Ben swore and it
was a measure of his anger that he used the word.
“I’ll go and see if any of
the herd has strayed,” Joe told him and rode off before Ben could say another
word.
It was quite commonplace
for men to abruptly leave on cattle drives. Joe could completely understand it.
However, it made everyone else’s job more difficult. For each man that left,
another man would have to stand an extra shift without sleep. That everyone
took it in turns didn’t make the lack of sleep any easier to bear and if the
desertions got to epidemic proportions – as they might – it made life extremely
tough for those left behind.
It was even tougher for the
Cartwrights. As the owners of the ranch (technicalities like the boys working
for Ben, and not being co-owners by-passed the men completely) they felt
obliged to take on the extra load themselves. Occasionally, that had resulted
in one or another of them falling ill through sheer exhaustion. Ben sent a
quiet prayer winging heavenwards that no more men would sneak away in the
night.
It didn’t take long for the
few straying cattle to be brought back. Joe took up his position at the back of
the herd, wondering why he had done his best to become a good drag rider. It
really was the worst position. However, when Joe had first been allowed to come
along on a cattle drive, Ben had been determined that Joe would learn to ride
every position, so that he knew exactly what each job entailed. Joe was good at
each position, but as he got older, he became the regular drag rider. It was a
compliment, but one which Joe would cheerfully have done without.
To begin with, that day was
dusty, but about
As he finished the last
scraps out of his bowl, Ben came up. “Joe, you’re got first watch tonight,” he
ordered. “Fred will relieve you at
“That’s later than usual,”
Adam commented. He had seen the frown growing on Joe’s face and spoke to divert
an outburst from the tired young man.
“I know,” Ben sighed. He
looked tired. “But this way, nobody had to do a complete extra shift. If we make
each shift a bit longer, then everyone does the same amount of work as before.”
“Makes sense,” Hoss agreed.
“I’ll get my second horse,”
Joe commented hoarsely and handed his dirty plate to Cookie. “Tell Fred not to
be late,” he added to Ben, who clapped a hand onto Joe’s shoulder.
“No promises,” Ben laughed.
*****************************
Day six dawned in rain, as
day five had ended. The rain had kept up all night. Despite his oiled rain
slicker, Joe’s pants were still wet from mid-thigh down. He wasn’t alone.
Everyone was cold and wet and tempers were short. When Joe had bumped Adam’s
elbow at breakfast, Ben had thought the two men were going to be at each
other’s throats as Adam growled, “Watch it!”
“Sor-ry!” Joe snapped back.
“You almost spilt my coffee
into my lap!” Adam shot back.
It was Hoss who added as
peacemaker, in his own inimitable style. “Well, at least yer legs would a bin
warm,” he mused and both Adam and Joe shot him a look of total disbelief before
looking at each other and bursting out laughing.
Both the bickering and the
laughter were forgotten as they got under way. That day, they had a river to
cross and it was wide and fast flowing. As Ben approached it, he could see that
the level had risen since he had had Fred scout ahead yesterday. The river
wasn’t too deep, but there was more water, which meant it was flowing faster.
They would have to keep a sharper eye than usual for trouble.
After the initial
reluctance of the cattle to go into the river, they finally had the herd moving
forward. Adam went downstream, and kept Sport facing into the current, ready to
turn any animal that headed too far downriver. There were some large rocks and
rapids a short distance downriver from the ford. So far, there hadn’t been a
single head lost, and Ben intended to keep it that way.
By the time Joe joined Adam
in the river, Sport was getting tired. He had been in the water for over half
an hour. When a recalcitrant steer suddenly decided that it was not going to
follow its fellows onto the far bank, Adam turned his horse to meet it. Sport
reacted sluggishly, tossing his head about.
Suddenly, the steer
staggered, caught in a slightly faster current. It bashed into Sport, who
staggered, missed his footing and went down. Adam was thrown in the sudden
movement. He disappeared into the cold water, inhaling a mouthful as he went
under.
“Adam!” Joe cried, alerting
everyone else to the problem.
Turning his head sharply, Ben
was just in time to see Joe launch himself from Cochise’s back and vanish into
the cold water. “No!” Ben cried, but he was too late. Two of his sons were in
the water and being rapidly washed downstream towards the rapids.
In the water, Adam was
coughing, and struggling to make any headway against the current. The river was
particularly fast flowing at that point and getting choppy. A splash hit Adam
in the face and he swallowed another mouthful of water. He choked.
Suddenly a strong hand was
on his shoulder, grabbing his shirt and pulling him up. Turning his head, Adam
blinked water out of his eyes and was surprised – and yet not surprised – to
see that his rescuer was Joe. “I’ve got you, Adam,” Joe panted, hoisting his
coughing brother further out of the water and supporting him against his
shoulder.
Now that he had a hold of
Adam, all Joe had to do was swim to the bank and there someone would haul them
to safety. But that was easier said than done. They had been swept quite a bit
downriver by now and Joe belatedly realised that they were approaching the
rapids. Joe’s legs bumped bruisingly against submerged rocks.
Looking up to see how far
away from the bank they were, Joe saw a partially-submerged branch heading
towards them. He felt Adam react, frantically flailing his arms and legs to
propel them along more quickly. Joe was knocked off his stroke and the current
caught them. There was a sickening impact and pain exploded throughout Joe’s
body. He lost his grip on Adam and the last thing he was aware of was water
rushing into his nose and mouth.
*****************************
Racing down the bank of the
river, both Ben and Hoss tracked the progress that Joe and Adam made against
the current. They were just beginning to relax when the branch appeared.
Suddenly, behind Joe, they saw a large rock sticking out of the water. Their
warning shouts went unheard over the noise of the river.
Throwing himself from his
horse, Hoss charged into the water, catching Adam under the arm and all but
throwing him at Ben. Then he turned to Joe, who had sunk under the water,
clearly unconscious after being caught between Adam and the large rock. The
force of the water had hurled both men against it with a terrifying thud. Joe’s
body had cushioned Adam’s.
As he pulled the limp body
of his younger brother into his arms, Hoss knew that he had to be very careful
moving Joe. He had no idea how badly injured his brother was, but they couldn’t
leave him in the water. Moving with infinite care, Hoss waded slowly to the bank,
where both Ben and a very shaken Adam waited to help him ashore.
“Is Joe…?” Ben asked, as
Hoss knelt and laid Joe carefully on the grass.
“I dunno,” Hoss replied,
panting.
Kneeling, Ben bent over,
putting his head on Joe’s chest. His son’s heart was beating erratically, but
strongly and he was breathing. Joe convulsed suddenly and Ben swiftly rolled
his son onto his side so that Joe could vomit up the water he had swallowed.
Thanks to Hoss’ fast reactions, Joe had not been in the water long enough to inhale
any.
Rolling Joe gently back,
Ben felt his limbs for any injury. There was a definite knot on the back of
Joe’s head, but there didn’t seem to have been any bleeding. In fact, Ben
couldn’t find any obvious injury and was just starting to relax as Joe moaned
and moved his head slightly.
“Joe?” Ben questioned.
“Joe, can you hear me?”
“Hurts,” Joe gasped,
without opening his eyes. He groaned and moved uncomfortably.
“What hurts, Joe?” Ben
asked, exchanging worried glances with his older sons.
“My… back,” Joe panted,
briefly opening pain-filled green eyes to peer through soaked lashes at his
father. “On, Pa… its hurts,” he whimpered.
“Joe, I’m sorry, but I’m
going to have to move you to look at your back,” Ben told him. He brushed the
sodden curls off Joe’s forehead. Joe had his eyes closed once more, his face
screwed up in pain. “Don’t you try to move; let us do the work.”
Taking the grunt he got as
an affirmative, Ben nodded to Hoss and Adam, who positioned themselves by Joe.
Trying to keep him as straight as possible, they rolled him carefully onto his
side and Ben tugged the soaking shirt from Joe’s pants and pulled it upwards,
exposing Joe’s back to the air.
At once, goose pimples rose
across Joe’s golden skin, but none of them noticed that. Ben’s utter stillness
and complete silence told both Adam and Hoss that there was something wrong and
they craned their necks to see.
The skin on Joe’s back was
darkening even as they watched. His back was swelling rapidly. When Ben touched
gentle fingers to the worst of the swelling at Joe’s waist, the young man let
out an involuntary cry. The marks of Ben’s fingers lingered longer than they
should.
“We’re going to roll you
back now, Joe,” Ben said, after a moment, hoping his voice didn’t give him away.
Joe showed no signs of realising that there was something desperately wrong.
His eyes were closed and he was breathing in short gasps through his teeth,
trying to keep the pain under control.
Kneeling there on the
riverbank, Ben had no idea what to do. Joe was hurt and they were miles from
anywhere. What were they going to do?
*******************************
“The chuck wagon,” Hoss
said, quietly.
“What?” Adam snapped. He
was shivering in the rising wind. His legs felt shaky and he slid abruptly from
his knees to his butt, looking surprised as he did so.
At once, Hoss moved round
and supported Adam. “Joe c’n lie flat in the chuck wagon,” he elucidated. “If’n
we keep movin’, we should reach
“If the rain keeps up like
this, it’ll slow the herd down,” Ben objected. “We might not reach
Impatiently, Hoss waved
away Ben’s objections. “Pa, it don’t matter if’n the herd don’ get there
tomorra,” he explained. “Adam an’ I’ll keep the herd going. But ya an’ Joe c’n
git there, no problem.”
“There is one problem,”
Adam muttered, shivering harder. “What are we going to do for food if Pa has
commandeered the chuck wagon?”
“We use a pack horse,” Hoss
replied. He guessed that the cold was affecting Adam’s thinking. “The men’ll
unnerstand.”
“That’s the best solution,”
Ben agreed, his face haggard with worry. He had a tight hold of Joe’s hand.
“Adam, are you all right?”
“Yes, just shaky,” Adam
replied. He pushed his dripping hair out of his face and looked at Joe, feeling
guilty that his brother had been injured helping him out. “How’re you doing,
Joe?” he asked.
For a moment, Joe’s eyes
opened again. “I’m all right,” he lied. He shivered. “I’m cold,” he complained.
“Me, too,” Adam agreed.
Rising, Hoss took the
bedroll from his saddle and Ben’s and draped the rough wool over both his
brothers. “I’ll go an’ git things ready, Pa,” he offered. “Ya stay here. I’ll
be real quick.” He mounted Chubb and rode off.
****************************
As the wool blanket was
tucked in around him, Joe sighed slightly. The cold wind was no longer dancing
over him, bringing goose pimples to his exposed skin. He didn’t yet feel any
warmer, but he hoped he would soon. Another shiver shook him and he bit his lip
to stop crying out with the pain. He had a tight hold of Ben’s hand and that
comforted him, but Joe was afraid. He knew there was something wrong with his
back; he had known from the stunned silence around him and from Ben’s voice.
But the thing that frightened Joe most was that although he could feel his
legs, he couldn’t move them at all.
Terror and a spasm of pain
that shot down his back and legs caused a cry to slip from Joe’s control and he
involuntarily tightened his grip on Ben’s hand. Immediately, he could sense his
father leaning over him and opened his eyes, drinking in the comfort he saw in
the form of love flowing from those dark eyes. “Sorry,” he whispered.
“You’ve got nothing to be
sorry for, Joe,” Ben told him, his voice a caress that warmed Joe to the bottom
of his heart. “I’m just sorry we don’t have anything to give you to help with
the pain.”
“I’ll be… all right,” Joe
replied, trying to smile.
His son’s bravery caught at
Ben’s heart and he had to hastily blink back tears. Joe’s courage tore at
Adam’s guilt-ridden heart and he felt worse than ever. He patted Joe’s
shoulder, an unusual gesture from the normally reserved man. Joe shot a glance
at him, but Adam was sitting above Joe’s head and he couldn’t really see him.
“You’re… wet,” he commented, trying valiantly to sound normal.
“So are you,” Adam
retorted, trying to smile.
“Hmm,” Joe agreed and
closed his eyes again. Somehow, the pain was easier to bear this way.
Gradually, the warmth of the blanket lulled the injured man into sleep.
As soon as it was apparent
that Joe was sleeping, Ben sat back, carefully tucking Joe’s hand beneath the
blanket. He glanced at Adam, trying to assess if his oldest son was hiding an injury.
“Adam, are you sure you’re all right?” he asked quietly.
“I’m so sorry, Pa,” Adam
replied, his eyes down. “This is all my fault.”
“It’s not your fault,” Ben
assured him.
“Yes it is,” Adam argued.
“No its not,” Ben chided
him gently. “Adam.” He waited until Adam looked at him. “Did you deliberately
fall into the river?”
“No,” Adam admitted. “But…”
“Did you pull Joe into the
water, or tell him to go after you?” Ben persisted, not allowing his son time
to speak.
“No, but…” Adam tried
again, but Ben kept talking over the top of him.
“Did you deliberately cause
Joe to hit that rock while avoiding the branch that you miraculously conjured
up?”
By now, there was almost a
hint of a smile on Adam’s face. “No, of course not,” he replied.
“Then how can it be your
fault?” Ben demanded. “The whole thing has been a series of unfortunate
accidents and we’ve just been lucky that neither you nor Joe was killed.”
“You’re right, of course,”
Adam conceded after a moment. “I wasn’t thinking straight.” He squared his
shoulders. “Trust Joe to come after me,” he murmured, looking down at his
little brother with more tenderness than he would usually show.
“Yes,” Ben replied, softly,
putting his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “You can trust Joe to come after you. We
all can.”
*********************************
A spasm of pain in his back
dragged Joe from sleep. His eyes shot open, but Ben was there at once, soothing
him in all the old familiar ways. Joe relaxed as much as he could and lay back down.
His legs were cold and Joe tried to move them, but there was no response. He
swallowed a sob.
“Here’s Hoss,” Adam said,
and there was a certain amount of relief in his voice.
Turning his head, Joe saw
Hoss climbing down from the wagon seat and wondered why his brother had brought
the chuck wagon. “Are we… stopping here for… the night?” Joe asked.
“No, you’re going to lie in
the wagon,” Ben told him, smiling. “Tomorrow, we’ll reach
The fear was back, clutching
at Joe’s heart with icy fingers. How could he face never being able to walk
again? How could he bring himself to tell a strange doctor that he couldn’t
move his legs when he couldn’t even tell his Pa that?
Something in Joe’s face
caught Ben’s attention and he leant closer. “Joe what’s wrong?” he asked,
anxiously. “Are you in pain?”
“Some,” Joe mumbled.
“We’ll try not to hurt you
when we move you,” Ben assured him, assuming that this was what was troubling
his son. “Everything will be ready in a minute.”
“All right,” Joe replied,
helplessly, unable to form the words that would tell Ben of his real fear. Joe
wasn’t sure why he was incapable of telling. Was it his pride which held him
silent? Or the memory of the few people he had known who used rolling chairs
and the unkind things that had been said about them. Most people equated being
chair bound with mental retardation. Joe didn’t know if he could face that.
“All right, Joe, we’re
ready,” Ben told him. A blanket was laid on the ground next to him. “We’re
going to move you onto this blanket and then lift you into the wagon, all
right?”
“All right,” Joe replied,
hoarsely. He could feel his muscles tense up in preparation for the pain he
knew he was going to feel.
“This is going to hurt,”
Adam commented, gently. “Could you move your legs over a bit? That would make
it easier for us.”
“No,” Joe replied, almost
inaudibly.
“What?” Adam asked. “I
didn’t hear you, Joe. Move your legs.”
“I can’t,” Joe responded,
louder this time. And suddenly the words were spewing from him. “I can’t, Adam!
I can’t move my legs!”
The shout had shocked them
all. Joe looked round at the three faces above him and saw the same expression
on each face. He felt a dizzying combination of nausea and relief and closed his
eyes to shut out the pity and the pain. Joe didn’t know why he should feel
guilty, but he was suddenly unable to meet anyone’s eyes.
“Joe.” It was Ben’s voice,
as gentle as ever, with no hint of pity in it. “Joe, open your eyes.”
Slowly, Joe opened his
eyes. Ben still looked shocked, but there was no hint of pity there. “Joe, can
you feel your legs at all?” The question was deliberately matter of fact, and
no one but Ben ever knew what it cost him to ask it.
Swallowing, Joe replied, “I
can feel them; they just won’t move.”
Nodding, unsure if Joe was
just telling him what he wanted to hear or not, Ben allowed one hand to drop
naturally to his side and then he pinched Joe’s thigh – hard. Joe flinched and
made a sound of protest. “Sorry,” Ben apologised. “I just wanted to see how
much feeling you have.”
“Surely it’s good that Joe
has feeling?” Adam queried.
“I think so,” Ben replied.
“But I’m no doctor. Come on, let’s get Joe settled and then we can get moving.
Every mile we travel today is a mile closer to
Before long, Joe was
settled in the back of the wagon and he closed his eyes. He was overwhelmed
with relief that his secret was out. As the wagon began to jolt slowly over the
ground, Joe clenched his jaw against the pain. It was going to be a long
journey to
************************
Joe could hear the noise of
the herd somewhere outside the wagon. The patch of sky he could see out of the
back was dark. A fire flickered at the very edge of Joe’s vision and he could
hear the low, monotonous song the cowboys sang to the cattle to keep them calm
and settled all night.
The sounds were familiar
and should have been comforting and yet Joe felt strangely detached from it
all. His back was incredibly sore and movement caused all sorts of shooting
pains. Joe felt slightly nauseous and had barely managed a few mouthfuls of the
meal Ben had brought to him. He was exhausted, yet couldn’t drop off to sleep.
“You’re three men down
tonight, Pa,” Joe commented quietly as Ben climbed back into the wagon beside
him. “I’m sorry.”
“Joe, you’ve got nothing to
be sorry for,” Ben replied. “You acted with great courage, jumping into the
river after Adam. What happened to you was an accident. Yes, neither you nor I
are going to be taking a watch tonight, but suppose we’d had other men run out
on us? Then we’d still be men down. Come on, Joe, you know as well as I do that
on other occasions we’ve lost more men, yet managed to get to market with the
herd intact. Tomorrow, we arrive in
“Tommo ran out on us
yesterday,” Joe answered, referring to the man he had discovered was missing.
“And that was pretty close to payday, too.”
Smiling, Ben looked around.
“I’ll tell you a secret, Joe,” he whispered. “Tommo was only willing to come
along if I paid him every day. He didn’t have wages coming; he already had
them.”
“Pa!” Joe scolded. “You
always tell us not to do that!”
Shrugging, Ben tried to
look nonchalant. He failed. “There have got to be some privileges to being the
boss,” he retorted and they both laughed. “Now,” Ben said, as their laughter
died down. “Are you going to sleep tonight, all night, or are you going to lie
there and wish you were on the back of a horse in that cold wind?”
“Tough choice,” Joe agreed.
“But I think I might sleep all night.”
“Good night, son,” Ben
replied.
****************************
Despite Joe’s choice, the
night was spent only partially in sleep. Joe was just too sore to sleep for
long. He desperately wanted to lie on his stomach, to take the pressure off the
huge bruise on his back. It had been marginally less painful for him to lie on
his side early that morning as Ben checked his back, but Ben was worried about
what too much moving would do and wanted to keep Joe as still as possible.
There had been horrible
moments both the night before and that morning when Joe had had to pee and the
urine had been full of blood. There was nothing Ben could do to hide the fact
from Joe and all they could do was hope that Joe’s kidneys were just bruised.
They both knew, in their heads, that a little blood can go a long way,
especially when diluted by water, but it was more difficult to convince their
hearts of this.
“How’s Joe?” Adam asked, as
Ben joined him by the fire to fetch Joe another cup of coffee.
Quietly, Ben told him and
Adam’s face grew grave. He had come out of the accident with no lingering after
effects and felt horribly guilty that his younger brother was in such a bad
position. If only there was something he could do to help, he thought.
“Adam, when we get to
Straightening his
shoulders, Adam nodded. “Of course I will, Pa,” he replied. “I’ll make sure
everything is taken care of. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
“’Ceptin’ Joe, a course,”
Hoss joked, heavily. “But then, ya’ve bin worryin’ ‘bout Joe since he was
born!” They laughed, the sound unsteady at first, but gaining in mirth.
Finally sobering slightly,
Ben looked proudly at his two oldest sons. He knew he could rely on all his
sons to do what needed to be done. Despite their worry over Joe, they would act
in a professional, businesslike manner and get the herd to where it was
contracted to be. Only when all the business was over would they come looking
for their sibling. “Take care,” he told them and turned quickly away, afraid
that they would see the moisture in his eyes.
Blinking back corresponding
moisture, Hoss went over to the wagon. “Ya be good fer Pa, Shortshanks,” he
teased his younger brother. “An’ if ya ain’t, I’ll turn ya over ma knee.”
“Sure,” Joe scoffed,
knowing that Hoss would never deliberately hurt him.
Adam’s leave-taking of Joe was
more subdued, but no less heart-felt. “Be careful, Joe and do what the doctor
tells you to,” he warned gently. “I’d like to see you looking better when I see
you later.”
“I’ll do my best,” Joe
agreed and smiled.
But he felt distinctly blue
as the wagon pulled out and he could see the herd moving in a different
direction. All too soon, they were lost from sight.
********************************
The pain was exhausting and
the constant jolting of the wagon prevented Joe from sleeping. He kept quiet,
knowing that Ben wanted to get into town as fast as possible and wanting the
journey to end for his own sake. Joe knew, although he didn’t allow his
thoughts to dwell on it, that he might well be making a journey of a different
kind very soon.
Much as Joe usually didn’t
want to see a doctor, this time was different. If the doctor could take away
even some of his pain, Joe would bless him forever. Plus, their arrival meant
that the wagon stopped moving and Joe revelled in the blessed stillness.
“I won’t be long, Joe,” Ben
promised, looking in the back of the wagon. “Are you all right?” It was a
relative question, Ben knew, but one he couldn’t prevent himself from asking.
“I’m fine,” Joe replied,
untruthfully, but with more veracity than when he had last assured Ben that he
was fine. He was definitely a bit better now.
True to his word, Ben was
only inside for a few minutes, but Joe was on the soft fringes of sleep when
his father reappeared. Wearily, Joe dragged his eyes open as the doctor climbed
awkwardly into the wagon and gave Joe a cursory examination. “I’ll get some
help and we can get him out of here,” the doctor told Ben, totally ignoring
Joe. Joe began to burn. But then, the doctor turned and smiled at Joe. “I’m
sure I can find you something softer to lie on, young man.” He winked. “This
wagon isn’t the most comfortable bed, I wouldn’t have thought.”
“I’ve had worse,” Joe
replied, loyally and Ben laughed.
“Yes, rock-strewn ground,”
he grinned. “Or the time we all had to sleep on mud every night.”
“Don’t remind me,” Joe
replied, rolling his eyes.
“My examining table will be
like a feather bed after all those,” the doctor smiled and jumped down from the
wagon and disappeared. He was back within five minutes with some men to help
lift Joe carefully from the wagon.
Doctor Carl Newman was in
his early forties, slim, blond and boyish with a great deal of personal charm.
Joe liked him, despite his initial bad impression. He had warm, gentle hands and
twinkling blue eyes. He asked Joe questions that Joe thought were eminently
sensible.
With Ben’s help, Joe was
divested of his clothes and covered with a sheet. Newman carefully felt all
Joe’s limbs for breakage and was pleased to note that the circulation in Joe’s
legs was good. Joe explained that he could feel his legs, but that they
wouldn’t move. The other man’s sympathetic manner and matter of fact tones
helped put Joe at his ease and the embarrassment he expected to feel never
surfaced.
At length, Newman needed to
examine Joe’s back. Ideally, he would have preferred to see Joe ‘in situ’, but
quite understood that they could hardly leave Joe in the river for several days
while someone fetched him. Even though everyone had been careful moving Joe, there
was still the chance that his back was broken. Moving very deliberately, they
turned Joe over.
It was probably just as
well that Joe couldn’t see Ben and Newman’s faces. The bruise on his back was
deep purple and black. Most of the darkest colouring was just about Joe’s
waist. “Joe, I’m sorry, but this is going to hurt,” Newman told him.
The first, gentle touch
almost had Joe leaping off the table. Ben hurried to his head, placing his
hands on Joe’s shoulders in an effort to both comfort and keep him still. Joe
clutched wildly at Ben’s shirt front, winding his hands into the material.
Despite all his efforts, several cries of pain escaped his control.
“I’m finished,” Newman
declared. “Joe, I can give you something for the pain now. Just lie still.” Joe
felt a needle slide into his thigh.
Moving round to sit where
Joe could see him, Newman looked thoughtful. “The good news is, as far as I can
tell, your back isn’t broken.”
A smile broke out on Ben’s
face. Joe looked relieved, but the wonderful, sunlit smile that Ben loved so
much was not in evidence. “But?” he questioned.
Making a rueful face,
acknowledging that there was a ‘but’, the doctor continued. “But – there does
seem to be a displacement; a dislocation, if you like.”
“And what can you do about
it?” Ben asked, his smile gone.
“I don’t know,” Newman
admitted. “It might just correct itself. It might not. Backs are tricky things.
The fact that Joe can feel his legs, even if they won’t move, is good. That
suggests to me that in time, his back might just get better. I could try to
manipulate it back into position, but I could easily do more harm than good
there. I could end up paralysing Joe forever.”
“What do you suggest?” Joe
asked, drowsily. The morphine was combining with his lack of proper sleep and
he was barely managing to stay awake.
“Rest and then we’ll see
how things progress,” Newman replied. “Your father is going to have a good meal
and a sleep, and you’re going to sleep then have a good meal. Tomorrow is
another day, and who knows what it might bring.”
“Okay,” Joe yawned and
closed his eyes. Within minutes, his regular breathing told the others he was
asleep.
Moving away slightly so as
not to disturb Joe, Ben asked, “If his back stays like this, will he always
have the pain?”
“I’m not certain, but I
would think it likely,” Newman replied. “You might consider taking him to a
specialist back East, but I can’t guarantee they could do anything.” He placed
a hand on the other man’s shoulder. “Mr Cartwright, I suggest you do exactly what
I told Joe. Get some food and some sleep. Tomorrow, we can face this problem
afresh.”
“All right,” Ben agreed.
“I’ll be at the hotel.”
“I’ll find you, should Joe
need you,” Newman assured him. “But I don’t think he’ll stir all night.”
************************
Entering the hotel dining
room, Adam and Hoss spotted Ben at once. They crossed the crowded room,
oblivious to the disapproving stares they got. Both of them were liberally
caked in dust. Sliding into seats at Ben’s table, Adam slid the banker’s draft
for $70,000 across the table.
For a long moment, Ben just
stared at it, quashing an impulse to rip it to shreds. He had never had a
profit like that before. The money would carry them through the next year,
regardless of what else might happen. But the one thing the money couldn’t do
was restore Joe’s legs, should he be paralysed. Was the money worth it? Ben
knew that, to Joe, it was. The ranch was the only place Joe had ever known, and
the only place he wanted to live. The Ponderosa was in Joe’s blood and Ben
could do nothing that would jeopardise, even slightly, the place Joe loved so
much.
And not just Joe, Ben
acknowledged. He loved the ranch and so did Hoss. Adam was fond of it, but his
heart was torn and Ben knew that one day, Adam would ride off and quite likely
never return. He dreaded the day coming, but knew that he didn’t have the right
to stop Adam from going. Adam had his own life to lead and Ben just hoped that
whatever he ended up doing made him happy.
“Thank you,” he said, breaking
the dense silence that had fallen.
“What did the doctor say?”
Adam demanded, ignoring the compliment.
“Joe seems to have
something displaced in his back. We think that’s what’s causing the pain, but
the doctor isn’t sure what to do to fix it. It might not be possible, and it
might do more harm than good.” Ben sighed. “In other words, we don’t know
anything more than we did, but at least Joe isn’t in pain any more.” He glanced
once more at the banker’s draft, then picked it up and put it in his pocket. If
need be, the money would be used to take Joe back east to see every specialist
there was. It would buy Joe the latest in rolling chairs. Ben cut off that
thought. He wasn’t sure he would be able to bear seeing Joe in a rolling chair.
“At least we know his back
isn’t broken,” Adam replied, unaware of Ben’s gloomy thoughts. “That’s
something.”
“It’s a big somethin’,”
Hoss agreed, nodding vigorously.
Abruptly coming back to the
here and now, Ben noticed how tired his sons looked. “Come on, let’s see about
getting you baths and rooms,” he suggested. “Are you hungry?”
“Just tired and dirty,”
Adam responded.
“Yeah,” Hoss agreed and Ben
looked at him in surprise. It wasn’t like Hoss not to want to eat. However, before
he could say anything, his second son pre-empted him. “An’ I’ll git a snack
after.”
Smiling, Ben clapped him on
the shoulder. “I’m sure we can manage that,” he responded.
****************************
They all felt better when
they met at the doctor’s in the morning. Joe had slept for better than 12 hours
– the most he had slept at one time since the accident. When his family
arrived, Joe was lying propped on his side. He raised a smile for them, but
they could see that he had had some painkillers, as his pupils were dilated.
Adam winced as he saw the bruise on Joe’s back.
“Good morning,” Newman
smiled, hearing them coming into the room. He was introduced to Adam and Hoss
and was intrigued by the differences between the brothers.
“How is Joe?” Adam asked.
“Don’t talk about me like
I’m not here!” Joe protested.
Smiling down at his
patient, Newman replied, “Actually, the swelling on his back has gone down a
lot overnight and he is no longer peeing blood.”
Blushing furiously, Joe
wished the floor would open up and swallow him. “I really needed you to tell
them that,” he muttered.
“Its good news,” Newman
objected. “Your body is beginning to heal.”
“What about the
displacement?” Ben asked, thinking that Joe needed the subject changed.
“Sadly, there’s no change
there,” came the reply. “However, I did have another feel of the area this
morning, and I think I could slip it back into place. Of course, there are
inherent dangers in that course of action. I could make everything worse; there
might be no change at all.”
“I want you to do it,” Joe
stated and Ben saw that there had already been a discussion between them about
this. He opened his mouth to object, but Joe beat him to it. “Pa, I know it’s
dangerous,” he continued, “but what do I have to lose? I’m useless like this
anyway and I can’t spend my life taking painkillers every day. Pa, this is my
decision. I’ve thought about it and I want Dr Newman to do it.”
“Joe…” Ben began, but there
was nothing he could say. Joe was an adult; it was his body and Ben couldn’t
make that kind of decision for him. Only Joe could do that. “I know,” he
concluded, softly.
“No!” Adam cried, unable to
believe that Ben wouldn’t impose his will on Joe. There was nothing the younger
man could do, after all. “Pa, don’t let him!”
As Joe’s eyes flew to his
oldest brother, both Ben and Hoss turned to Adam. They both understood, better
than Joe, that Adam still felt tremendous guilt over the accident. “Adam, I can’t
tell Joe what to do about this,” Ben replied. His gentle understanding just
made Adam feel worse.
“Adam, Joe’s gotta choose
fer hisself,” Hoss chimed in. “I don’t like it no more’n ya do, but it ain’t
our decision, big brother.”
But it was Joe’s comment
that was the most telling of all. “I can’t just do nothing,” he declared and
Adam at last met his youngest brother’s eyes. “Adam, this isn’t your fault,” he
added. “Accidents happen. You know that as well as I do.” Joe forced a smile.
“Isn’t this the time when you usually remind me that accidents happen to me
more often?”
“I guess it is,” Adam
agreed, finding a genuine smile on his face. “All right, Joe if that’s what you
really want.”
“It’s what I really want,”
Joe replied, tactfully not reminding Adam that he had no say in this decision.
He glanced at Newman. “All right, do it, I’m ready whenever you are.”
**************************
The operation took place
within the hour. Ben, Adam and Hoss were shepherded out and paced anxiously
around the waiting room while Joe was given a whiff of chloroform. Newman took
a deep breath.
Compared to some procedures
he had carried out, this one took no time at all. Newman was glad the other
Cartwrights weren’t in the room, for the bone made a horrible noise as it
slipped back into place. The problem with this procedure was that Newman had no
way to tell if it had worked. He went over to tell the anxious family that the
operation was over.
“The bone is back in
place,” he told them.
“And is Joe all right now?”
Hoss asked, eagerly.
“I don’t know,” Newman
replied.
“Why not?” Hoss wanted to
know, frowning.
“Joe is still out from the
chloroform,” Newman explained. “Until he tells me what he can or can’t feel, I
have no way to know.”
“Ya mean ya can’t tell jist
by feelin’?” Hoss looked astounded.
“I wish I could,” came the
heart-felt reply. “But unfortunately, the answer is no.”
************************
Over the next few days, the
Cartwrights waited with bated breath to see if there was any change in Joe’s
condition. The bruising on his back began to fade and as it went, his pain
became less. Before long, Joe was managing without painkillers of any kind, but
although he could still feel sensation in his legs, they still wouldn’t move.
They all vacillated between
hope and despair, but none more so than Joe. By nature an optimist, each
morning he awoke, convinced that today would be the day that he would be able
to walk again. As each successive day passed, and he was still bed bound, Joe
would sink into despair.
Finally, after a week,
Newman took Ben aside. “I think you should take Joe home. There’s nothing more
I can do for him,” he said, sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Ben replied.
“You told us you didn’t know if you could improve things and none of us hold
any blame against you. Joe isn’t in pain any more, and that counts for a lot.”
“Joe could still regain the
use of his legs,” Newman reminded Ben. “But I don’t know when and nothing that
I can do will hurry that day. I think being at home in familiar surrounds will
help him.”
“Thank you for everything,”
Ben replied and shook his hand.
***************************
It was another two days
before they set off for home. Ben had managed to procure a rolling chair for
Joe and packed it and supplies into the wagon. Joe was more than well enough to
sit on the wagon seat beside Ben, although he cast longing looks at his pinto.
He was glad to be going home, although he and Newman had struck up a
friendship.
It was pleasant to be
outside in the fresh air and sunshine. Joe felt his spirits rise and he
answered amiably when Ben made idle conversation. He was glad for the break for
lunch, even though he had to be lifted from the wagon seat by Hoss, for he was
more tired than he had expected. Still, he had been cooped up indoors for the
week they had been in
But it was at night that
the doubts crept back. Joe hated the thought of the rolling chair. He had no
idea what he could do on the ranch that would be useful and fulfilling. Yes, he
was more than capable of doing the books, but how often did the books really
have to be done? Regularly, yes, but not every single day. What else could he
do? Break horses? Hardly. Herd cattle? Never again. Joe couldn’t think of a
single thing he could do on the ranch that would keep him fully occupied. Those
bleak thoughts kept him awake all night, despite his tiredness.
It was a morose Joe that
was helped onto the wagon seat the next morning. He had nothing to say, all his
thoughts turning inwards. Ben kept silent, not wanting to disturb Joe while he
was clearly so deep in thought.
Riding together a little way
in front, Adam and Hoss were worried about Joe, too. “It shouldn’t happen to
anyone,” Adam declared, fiercely. “But especially not to Joe.”
“Life ain’t fair,” Hoss
agreed. “We jist gotta keep prayin’, Adam.”
“Yes, you’re right,” Adam agreed,
thoughtfully. “We’ve got to keep praying.”
***************************
It was a relief to them all
to be home. Somewhere along the way, Ben, Adam and Hoss realised that Joe had
made his peace with being in a rolling chair. Although he was still subdued –
for Joe – he was much more like his normal self and several times mentioned
running the ranch from his chair. The quiet courage that this acceptance
demonstrated was quite breath-taking and the only way they could show Joe how
proud of him they were was to be as matter of fact about things as he was.
Only Joe knew how much it
actually cost him to ask Hoss to bring round his chair so he could get into the
house under his own power. The hands had come out to greet them and none of
them could hide the pity when they saw that Joe still couldn’t walk. Joe raised
his head high, determined to show them that he could manage by himself.
That stubborn pride got Joe
into a few sticky situations on the first few days. He wasn’t very good at
directing the chair and often unintentionally ran into things – and people.
With his chin jutting in that oh-so-familiar manner, Joe set out to master the
chair as he used to set out to master horses. By the weekend, he was much more
competent.
It was only alone in bed at
night that Joe gave in to the scalding tears that seemed to blight his soul. He
didn’t want to burden his family with his depressing thoughts – he was sure
they already knew them. Joe wasn’t going to walk again and they were stuck with
a cripple to look after. For all his insistence on doing things for himself,
there were some things he couldn’t do .He couldn’t climb the stairs and he
didn’t want to sleep in the downstairs bedroom – it just wasn’t his. He
couldn’t go into town without help, he couldn’t harness the team or saddle his
horse. The list of things he couldn’t do seemed endless. Many nights, Joe
wondered how he could possibly go on the next morning.
But go on he did, for the
only alternative was suicide – and Joe was not as depressed as that. He knew
exactly what his deliberate death would do to his family and he couldn’t bear
that thought. So every morning, Joe made a concerted effort to be cheerful and
managed to carry it off.
His resolve was sorely
tried on Sunday morning. People openly stared as Joe was lifted from the buggy
and placed into his chair at the top of the church steps. Joe could feel his
face burning. He had known this would be difficult – he just hadn’t expected it
to be this difficult.
Lifting his chin, Joe
caught the eye of his oldest friend, Mitch Devlin. They had had an altercation
several months before and although they had made up, their friendship wasn’t
what it had been. Joe was distressed to see Mitch turn his head away and
pretend that he hadn’t really seen Joe. Joe ducked his head.
Next moment a hand squeezed
his shoulder and Ben whispered, “Look, Joe.”
Raising his head
reluctantly, Joe looked up and saw Mitch coming towards him, looking
shame-faced but smiling. “Hi, Joe,” he cried. “It’s great to see you!” He shook
Joe’s hand, something he wouldn’t normally do, but feeling the need to make a
gesture of some kind.
Now that the first move had
been made, others came forward to greet Joe, but the constraint was still
there. One woman even went so far as to pat Joe on the head, as though he was a
small child, or had lost his reason. Hot colour stained Joe’s face and neck and
Ben was quite glad when the church bell began to ring and people made their way
inside.
Pushing the chair up the
aisle to their usual pew made Ben even more aware of how much things had
changed. People stared openly and he could hear the whispering. Even the
reverend gave Joe a pitying look and included him in a prayer by name. Joe was
mortified. He had known that the service would be hard to endure, but he hadn’t
expected it to be as bad as that.
It seemed that the service
that morning lasted forever, but even bad things eventually come to an end. Joe
was relieved when Ben pushed him outside, although they had to go first so that
there was room for others to walk up the aisle. The church hadn’t been built
with rolling chairs in mind.
Forced to sit on the porch
and wait while Ben fetched the buggy, Joe tried not to see everyone staring at
him, but it was impossible to miss. He tried to forgive the people who
unwittingly made a cruel comment, but there were a few people who seemed to be
revelling in Joe’s troubles and he vowed that he wouldn’t be back at church
again until he could walk on his own two feet. He didn’t care if the vow was
childish. Joe had had enough of being patronised.
*****************************
It was then Joe took a
backwards step in his journey. From acceptance, he returned to denial, using
his arms to force himself to a semi-standing position, only to fall flat on his
face. Joe sank into obvious depression again, for he hated having to be
rescued.
It was only when Joe
overheard Adam and Hoss talking one afternoon in the barn that Joe realised
what an idiot he was being. “I sure hate ta see Joe hurtin’ like he is,” Hoss
commented, as he groomed Chubb.
“Me, too,” Adam agreed.
“But do you know what I think I hate even more than Joe hurting?” When Hoss
shook his head, Adam added, “I hate seeing Pa hurt. He’s doing everything he
can for Joe. I know that Joe’s entitled to be depressed, but he’s dragging Pa
down with him and I hate to see that. He’s so worried about Joe.”
“I know,” Hoss replied. “I
hoped ya were gonna say somethin’ else. I hate ta see Pa so low.” He heaved a
big sigh.
Sitting outside, Joe was
shaken. Was Ben low? Was he hurt? Joe tried to think, but he had become so
caught up in his own despair and failures that he hadn’t noticed how any of his
family were behaving. The overheard conversation between his brothers showed
Joe that their father wasn’t the only one who was feeling low – they both were,
too.
Turning away, Joe wondered
what on earth he could do to make amends. He hadn’t intended to hurt anyone and
now, with hindsight, he could see that he had been incredibly selfish, thinking
that his inability to walk was just his problem. Joe knew perfectly well that
wasn’t how families worked. He felt so ashamed that he wanted to cry.
Wheeling slowly over to the
house, Joe paused when he heard hoof beats. Ben rode into the yard, looking
careworn and utterly weary. Joe’s heart smote him and he almost cried out.
Instead, he forced a smile onto his face and literally saw relief sweep through
Ben. “Hello, Joe,” Ben called, warmly. “Out enjoying the sunshine?”
“Yes,” Joe replied. He
waited while Ben dismounted and came over. “Pa, I wanted to apologise to you.
I’ve been so selfish this last week and I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“It’s all right,” Ben
replied, smiling tenderly at his youngest son.
“No, it’s not all right,”
Joe contradicted. “I’ve been horrid to you all, shutting you out and making a
fool of myself. I was wrong, Pa and I promise to change.”
“You’ve had a lot on your
mind,” Ben excused him.
“I’ve been feeling sorry
for myself,” Joe admitted. “And I’m sure that there will be other times that I
feel sorry for myself, too. But I’m not going to make that my way of life. Pa,
I want to find out exactly what I can and can’t do. I’d like to try to ride
Cochise. Who knows, perhaps there is something useful I can do from the back of
a horse? But I want to try, at least. I know what I can’t do – now I’d like to
know what I can do.”
Smiling, Ben reached out to
clasp Joe’s shoulder. “All right,” he agreed, huskily. “Let’s find out what you
can do.”
From the barn doorway, Adam
and Hoss watched in silence. They had heard the whole conversation and wondered
if Joe had overheard them. When their younger brother looked across and smiled
at them, Adam was sure that he had. It wasn’t the way Adam would have chosen to
make Joe aware of their worry, but it worked and he thanked providence that Joe
had been in the right place to hear.
**********************
Watching Hoss and Adam
getting Joe onto Cochise the next morning was possibly the most nerve-wracking
thing Ben had ever done. The pinto hadn’t been ridden since the day Joe had the
accident, but he stood like a statue, with his head turned slightly to watch
what was going on.
Once Joe was in position
and feeling secure, he made a chirruping noise and Cochise calmly started to walk
around the yard. The triumph on Joe’s face was a delight to see. Obviously, he
wasn’t going to be going at any great speed within the confines of the yard,
but Joe soon had his mount in a trot and had no trouble in keeping his balance.
Looking at him, Ben found it hard to believe that Joe had any problem with his
back at all.
With Ben’s permission, Joe
went out for a short ride with both his brothers and came back looking elated.
He had had no trouble riding at all, and his horizons had opened up dramatically.
Perhaps there was a place for him on the Ponderosa after all.
Over the next few days, Joe
went riding as often as someone could be spared to go with him. His fitness
improved and so did his disposition. Joe had always been an outdoors type and
being cooped up in the house had contributed enormously to his depression. The
fresh air and sunshine restored his jaded appetite and he was soon tackling his
meals with gusto, another sight the Cartwrights had feared they would never see
again.
It was almost like having
the old Joe back again.
*****************************
He didn’t know what had
woken him, but his heart was pounding and he found himself straining his
hearing. Was that a noise from downstairs? Was there someone in the house? He
sat up, still listening. The silence in the house was profound.
Rising, Ben put on his robe
and lit a lamp. There was still no noise from downstairs, but Ben couldn’t
shake the conviction that there was someone else awake in the house. He was
sure that one of his sons had got up for some reason.
Quietly opening Hoss’ door,
Ben saw that it wasn’t his middle son who was awake. Hoss was sleeping soundly,
his deep, even breathing filling the quiet of his room. Just as quietly, Ben
closed the door.
Next room along was Adam’s.
Ben peeped in and was floored to see his oldest son was sound asleep, curled up
in the middle of the bed with the covers drawn up to his neck as though it was
cold. Ben’s heart beat quickened. It must be an intruder, then.
Turning away, Ben saw that
Joe’s door stood slightly ajar. Fear caught in Ben’s throat and, unthinking, he
stepped across the hall and threw open Joe’s door, half expecting to find an
intruder threatening his helpless son.
It took a moment for what
he was seeing to sink in properly. Ben blinked, but nothing changed.
Joe’s bed was empty.
**********************
The figure sitting by the
ashes of the fire looked up as Ben came into sight. He smiled, a rather watery
smile. “Hi, Pa,” Joe quavered and had to clamp his mouth shut and swallow hard.
“Joe…” Ben started and his
voice caught on a sob.
Rising, Joe walked the few
steps that separated him from his father and smiled up at the shocked
expression. “I know, I can hardly believe it either,” he declared, quietly.
“I’m walking.”
In an instant, Ben was down
the last few steps and had Joe crushed in his arms. “How?” he whispered,
pulling back to gaze at Joe again. “When?” He shook his head, unable to articulate
what he wanted to know.
“I just woke up,” Joe
replied, smiling through the tears that ran down his face. “I had to go, you
know?” He gave a shrug. “I was still half asleep and I just threw the covers
back and got up. It wasn’t until I was climbing back under the covers, and
caught my foot on them that I realised what I’d done.” Wiping his face, Joe
smiled again. “I had to get up and walk about. I had to come downstairs, just
to prove to myself that I wasn’t dreaming. Pa, I’m not even stiff – there’s no
pain. I can walk again!”
“Oh, Joe!” Ben cried,
overcome and grabbed his son into his embrace again.
There was a noise from
above them, and they turned to see Adam standing there, a gun in his hand and
his eyes practically out on stalks. “Joe?” he asked, his voice laden with
disbelief.
Making eye contact with
Ben, Joe giggled. The sound was uniquely Joe and had been conspicuous by its
absence since the accident. Joe had laughed, but his giggle had been silent.
Abruptly, Adam whirled,
with an impetuousness usually seen in Joe, and raced down the hallway. “Hoss!”
he cried, crashing into his brother’s room. “Hoss, wake up, quick! You’ve got
to see this! Come on, wake up!”
“Huh? Wha??” Hoss
stuttered. He blinked. “Adam? What’s wrong?”
“Get up!” Adam cried and
practically pulled Hoss from the bed. He propelled his larger brother along the
hallway and onto the stairs and there Hoss froze, gaping with his mouth wide
open at a sight he had thought he would never see again.
Joe had intended to say
something witty to Hoss, to make some smart remark, but the look on his
brother’s face kept him silent. He simply nodded and watched as Hoss came
slowly down the steps, his eyes firmly fixed on Joe. At the bottom of the
steps, he reached out to gather his brother into an embrace and tears started
to fall. “Thank God!” he whispered in heart-felt prayer. “Oh thank God!”
“It’s a miracle,” Adam
remarked, awed.
“It certainly is,” Ben
agreed. He unashamedly wiped away a tear. He watched, smiling, as Adam stepped forward
and put his arm round Joe’s shoulder. It was a gesture the older son was
unaccustomed to making, but Joe’s reaction was simple. He leant into his
brother and smiled up into his face. The scene blurred for Ben into a haze of
hot tears
****************************
Dr Paul Martin speculated
that perhaps there had been some sort of swelling on Joe’s spinal cord that had
prevented his legs from moving. But in truth, he didn’t know. None of the
Cartwrights really cared why Joe had got better – it was enough for them that
he had.
It was a seven day wonder
in town, with everyone talking about the miraculous recovery Joe had made.
There were changes. Joe found it hard to completely forgive the people who had
been so patronising towards him, but his generous nature wouldn’t let him hold
a grudge. They had acted from ignorance and Joe vowed that he would make sure
he never treated anyone the way he had been treated.
But the biggest changes
were to Joe himself. The journey he had been forced to embark upon had taught
him some lessons, mostly about himself. Joe could, like everyone, be selfish,
but he was much more aware of everyone else’s feelings, too. He had taken some
big steps to maturity and learned a lot about himself.
On the Sunday morning, Joe
went to church with his family. He was slightly ashamed of the vow he had made
to himself, but he had kept it. He hadn’t been back in the church since that
first day. Joe was no less aware of the staring now than he had been then and
it annoyed him.
During the service, it
occurred to Joe that most of the people had acted out of ignorance. He could
explain to them what it was like to be stared at and talked down to. He knew he
would have to be careful how he phrased his comments, but this was something
positive he could take from his experiences. He could educate others in dealing
with those in rolling chairs.
Joe was never to know if
his gentle preaching had an effect on the people he talked to, but it was
something he did all his life. It reflected, too, what Ben Cartwright had
taught his boys – it didn’t matter what the other person looked like; what
colour, race or creed they were from. It was what was in the person’s heart
that mattered.
Watching Joe walking about
was something that Ben would never take for granted again. He would forever
cherish the memory of finding Joe that night. Miracles didn’t always happen
with a fanfare and flourish. The best miracles happened quietly when nobody was
looking, using commonplace things. Perhaps, Ben mused, he had once entertained
an angel, unawares.
The End