A HORSE NAMED SAL
By Diane Moreau

Rated PG 13
A light hearted story of how a wild mustang with a mind of her own takes on the three Cartwright brothers teaching them all a lesson or two.

The sun was setting on another day of hard work. With the coming of winter, ranch chores seemed to triple. This winter was predicted to be one of the worse, Hop Sing warned. He was never wrong about such things.

On the ride home, it was all Hoss could do to keep his eyes open. Riding wearily on Chubb, he pointed his faithful horse toward home. Halfway home Chubb pulled up short, tossing his head. Hoss looked around cautiously; Chubb only acted this way when he smelled danger or ....yep there she was. A wild mustang mare who taunted the Cartwright’s for the last two years now. She teased Chubb wantonly. Chubb snorted and pranced in hopes Hoss would take chase.

"Come on buddy, she is just teasing you. Besides, I am too plum tuckered out to chase that filly down right now." Prodding his horse into a lope he made it to the barn. Chubb snorted his disapproval at being put away just yet.

Adam and Little Joe walked into the barn dragging tail as much as Hoss.. "Hey Hoss, I don’t know about you, but I feel as run down as a two dollar watch." Joe said, removing Cochise’s saddle and blanket.

Adam rolled his eyes. "Don’t start that again."

"Start what?" Hoss said knowing he should just keep his mouth shut. When his two brothers started on something it would take a stick of dynamite or a fist in the mouth to shut them up.

"All day long Hoss, never ending metaphors...you know applying words that have no applicable…. never mind.” Adam said brushing down Sport.

Joe ignored his older brother.

"Hoss wasn’t it hot today? It was drier than the dust from a mummy’s pocket." Joe said chuckling at the look on Adam’s face.

Hoss caught on. "Yep, sure enough Joe. It was so hot and dry today I had to prime myself just so I could spit." Hoss said challenging Adam.

"Please I beg you." Adam said wearily.

Hoss stuck his nose high in the air.
‘Umm I can smell Hop Sing’s roast right now. I am so hungry. I’m hungrier than a woodpecker with a headache." Hoss said.

Joe chuckled. "I’m so hungry I could eat a sow and 9 pigs and chase the bear half a mile."

"You two would drive a wolf to suicide, now let’s go eat." Adam said not looking back heading for the house. Hoss and Joe slapped each other’s back in laughter.

Hop Sing made sure everyone ate their fill tonight. "Boys eat like it their last meal." Hop Sing said going back for more biscuits.

"Well, if you ain’t going along with us tomorrow, it is sort of our last good meal." Hoss said not looking forward to Adam’s cooking.
"You three leaving as planned for the Bartlett ranch?" Ben asked as he took a slice of beef from the platter.

"We head out before dawn Pa. Those unable to get up in time will be left behind." Adam said directly to Joseph.

"You don’t have to worry about me. I bet I am up before you big brother." Joe said unconvincingly.

"What’s that?" Ben said sternly.

"Not a real bet Pa. A bet, bet." Joe said.

"The only reason I am allowing you to go with your brothers Joseph is that I have to leave for Sacramento. I expect you to mind your brothers; any report of your disobedience will be met with consequences I am sure you know what those are. Adam is in charge Joseph, have no doubt.”

"Yes sir, I know."
Turning his attention back to his oldest son, "Adam, Mr. Bartlett is a shrewd business man, but he has yet to encounter my savvy son. He should be offering a fair price for the string of horses; you know what I want for that string. I expect you three to be back here by Saturday."

"Pa, could we take an extra day to hunt game?" Hoss asked.

"Well, you ask Hop Sing if he would mind doing the barn chores an extra day. If he agrees, then I expect you three here by Sunday night." Ben said.

"Sure Pa, come on Hoss let’s go talk to Hop Sing.” Joe said excited at the prospect of going hunting with his brothers.

The next morning, Adam was up and dressed before anyone, or so he thought. Little Joe sat the fireplace with a hot cup of chocolate. "Good morning Adam."

"Joe, if I had not seen it with my own eyes I wouldn’t of believed it. Is that coffee?" Adam said with a raised eyebrow.
"Hop Sing is making coffee for you and Hoss. I like hot chocolate in the morning." Joe said smugly.

"Where is Hoss, he stirring yet?" Adam asked reaching for his cup.

"I didn’t hear him. Time for the wake up call Adam?" Joe said mischievously.

"Well I really don’t think we have much choice little brother. Get the bucket."
Joe went outside the kitchen and took the water bucket. Joe filled it with cold water and snuck upstairs. Adam waited downstairs for the fireworks. Sure enough a cackle from Joe could be heard then a loud thud on the upstairs bedroom floor. "DAGNABIT!!
Joe flew down the stairs hiding behind Adam. Hoss charged after him with a wet night shirt looking like a wet angry bear. Unfortunately, Papa bear was also awakened.

"JOSEPH!!" Ben said crooking his finger at him from the top of the stair landing.

"Pa, it was just a prank, to get Hoss up. Sorry sir if I woke you."

Not relenting Ben still motioned for him to come upstairs.
Joe glanced at Adam then started upstairs. "Don’t keep him waiting." Adam whispered.

Joe stood before his Pa. Without another word, Ben took him by the elbow to his room and shut the door.

"Pa doesn’t like to be woken with rough-housing" Hoss said looking forlorn for his baby brother.

"Nope, lesson number three if I remember correctly." Adam said subconsciously rubbing his backside.

“Remember the time I planted that snake in your bed. You screamed so loud Ma came running in, then Pa.” Hoss said.

"I remember the loud yells from the barn after Pa got done with your backside. It’s never a good idea to scare Ma with a snake, even if it was intended for me."

"Oh yeah, that was real bad. I didn’t sit for a whole week. Ma was pretty sore at me too." Hoss said.
I wasn’t too happy with you myself. I hate snakes brother, hate them." Adam said sipping his coffee.
"I know, that made it even funnier. Until Pa got mad that is." Hoss said punching Adam in the arm.
A sound like a hard swat ended the conversation upstairs. Both brothers looked upstairs to a contrite baby brother. Hop Sing came out with a big breakfast for them before their departure. "Come on and eat, at least we have one good meal today." Hoss said to Joe.

"Is Pa coming down Joe?" Adam asked not really looking at him.

"He is getting dressed. He said for us to eat without him."

"Well I got to change myself. Next time you come at me with a bucket, I am going put your entire body in it and dump it in the well." Hoss said giving Joe another smack to an already reddened bottom.

"Sorry Hoss." Joe said chuckling. Adam just shook his head. This trip was just starting.

The boys left as scheduled. They knew the next few days would be a long hard drive with the string of horses to the Bartlett Ranch. The first stop they planned to fish for some supper in the wild streams. Joe was successful at catching enough for a good meal.
"You get better every year little brother." Hoss said lazily stretched out using his saddle as a pillow.

"That’s because you two ain’t even trying. You just sit there waiting for me to haul in the fish while you two nap." Joe said cleaning the fish.

"Now little brother, our job is to protect you from all those gals you been making eyes at.

Now you take Mary Lou Sims, she is a devil in a dress that one." Hoss said.

"I don’t see any girls out here. It wouldn’t hurt if one of you helped with the camp chores, gathering wood, cooking the meal; I think I did my part." Joe said.

"Now it seems little brother that you begged to come along on this jaunt to the Bartlett’s and we, meaning Hoss and I, both know exactly why you really wanted to come. If Pa knew why you really wanted to come…" Adam said winking at Hoss.

"I don’t know what you are blabbing about. I wanted to go with you fellas and do some hunting. That’s all." Joe said not making eye contact.

"You’re hunting alright, got your sites set for Belinda Bartlett. Now, thars a cute girl. All that long blonde hair, big blue eyes and a cute little ass...”

"HOSS!!" Joe and Adam said in unison.

"What...she has a cute little jack ass named Bonnie, what is wrong with you two." Hoss said walking away chuckling.

Hoss checked on the horses that seemed to be acting nervous. Looking in the distance Hoss exclaimed "Oh brother, not you again." There on the hill above the herd was that wild mustang, Sal. Hoss took a step toward her then another. He was less than 20 feet away. Prancing teasingly she twisted around and trotted off tail high.

Hoss walked back to camp. "Well, we got company brothers."

Adam stopped his stirring of the camp fire and stood up. "What do you mean what company?"

"Sally." Hoss said shaking his head.

"You mean Sally Weaver followed me all the way out here?" Joe said as his cheeks blushed pink.

Hoss rolled his eyes, Adam chuckled. "No Romeo, not Sally Weaver; Sally with the long red mane."
"Sally O’Harrigan?" Joe said looking around.

Hoss and Adam burst out laughing. "Show him Hoss before he names every Sally this side of the Rockies.”

The next morning, Hoss and Adam found themselves one little brother shy.
“Where the hell is Joe?" Adam said irritated at the thought of looking for the scamp this early in the morning.

"He musta got up awful early to beat you out of the blanket. Cochise is still hobbled, so he must be near. Probably checking the herd." Hoss said, not really sure why Joe would get up so dadblame early.

Joe came running up to camp like he was chased by the devil himself. "Whoa there Joe, you’ll spook the horses running like that." Adam said sipping on his hot coffee.
"She tried to kill me Adam, went right for me." Joe said sitting awkwardly on a log near the fire.

"Who? You had a nightmare little brother?" Hoss said

"A nightmare!! Does this look like I had a nightmare?" Joe pulled down his britches to show a nip mark on his left buttock.

Adam almost choked on his coffee. Suppressing a chuckle he signaled his middle brother.

"Looks like a brand to me. Come here Hoss take a look."

"Must be a love bite big brother; see there looks like a heart don’t it."
Both brothers burst out laughing.

That afternoon they moved the head through a narrow valley. Driving through it was easy enough but at every turn in the trail, Sally popped out startling who ever was in the lead at the time.
Adam was fit to be tied. They made camp; Joe was showing off his three rabbits he snared.

"We got to do something about that mustang Hoss, she may stampede our string. I don’t want to be chasing those horses for the next week." Adam said.

"Yeah me neither big brother, but she is a clever one. I think she likes ol’ Chubb. Maybe we could use Chubb to corral her." Hoss said.

"What are you two talking about?" Joe said returning from skinning his rabbits.

"We are trying to come up with a solution to your girlfriend problem." Adam said building the fire.

"Hey, I can take care of any gal... don’t you worry about that." Joe huffed.

"No Joe, your four legged girlfriend problem." Hoss snickered.

"That’s easy, shoot her." Joe said rubbing his branded backside.

Adam did not want to risk losing any more time and energy on this crazy wild horse that was following them with mischief on her mind. Either they captured her or found a more permanent alternative, which Hoss would break his back with a snap if he dared.

"Hoss let’s go get her. We will have to snag that filly before she causes some real damage to our purpose here." Adam said.

"How we gonna do that big brother?" Hoss said.

"Easy, she got real close when Joe had his uhh, back turned. We use little brother here as bait."
"And how you gonna get Joe to agree to that?" Hoss said sipping his coffee.

"Easy, we won’t tell him." Adam said with a grin.
Chuckling Hoss nodded and together they hashed out the details out of ear shot of their little brother.

Joe didn’t like this not one bit. If Pa were here instead of Adam, he would at least have a chance to talk the ‘boss’ out of setting him on the tail end of this horse parade, bringing up the rear. But Mr. Bossy was in charge, god help any brother or creature that disagreed with Adam De-Mighty Cartwright. Joe thought to himself sulking.

Adam left early that morning, Hoss took the lead and Joe was sent to the back of the string of horses to eat dust. That wasn’t the worse part. That crazy horse was still trailing them. She was charging up to Cochise then skittering off as if laughing at him. Joe was still angry with that horse, his butt still hurt where she took a bite.

Joe decided to take charge, if only to preserve the rest of his backside. He had time to work this out today, being the ‘drag’ today. Looking back occasionally he would think the mare would tire and go back to wherever she came from, but then she would appear kicking up her hind quarters twisting and raising dust.

By the look of the position of the sun, and Hoss’ stomach clock, it was time to stop and have a quick lunch. They stopped at the swift rushing river. They would be crossing this river turning west to the Bartlett ranch. It was doubtful the wild horse would follow them across. But Joe didn’t want to take any chances. He was going to lay his trap for her himself.
Adam was nowhere to be seen. "He must have gone all the way to the Bartlett ranch to tell them we are only a half a day ride from them." Hoss volunteered. In truth he really didn’t know where Adam was.
"We had been on the trail for a couple days now. I think I am going to wash up and change clothes." Joe said.
"Suit yerself little brother. I’m gonna wait until we get there. I still got a half of day of dust to eat before we get there. I am down to my last pair of pants." Hoss said.
"You see there Hoss, I am going to wash my pants, since the one’s I am wearing are my only pair now, thanks to that crazy horse out there. They will dry by the time we get there and clean too boot."
"Just don’t take all day; we gotta get this herd delivered." Hoss said rolling his eyes.

Joe removed his dirty pants dipping them in the river using the soap Hop Sing squirreled in their pack. Joe laid them on a rock then removed all his clothes and jumped in. "JOE!!" Hoss yelled but the current took little Joe quickly down the river. His head disappeared a few times. Hoss turned Chubb in the direction of the bobbing brother. Unfurling his rope Hoss tossed it ahead to Joe. Joe grabbed out to it, catching a fragment of it. Chubb instinctively pulled back as if they just roped a steer and the rope went taut. Joe was dragged back to the rocky shore.
Laying there on his stomach heaving out water and mud, Joe looked up pathetically to Hoss sitting miles up on his big horse. "Dang it Joe, I thought you drowned." Hoss said.

"I did." Joe said spitting out a piece of river bottom.

"Hey that river took you fast and swift. We must be a good ...a good ….god almighty. Hoss said disbelieving his eyes. Joe look!"
Standing like a muddy statue, Joe’s mouth gaped open and his stomach plummeted. Not only were their string of horses gone, scattered to the wind, but Joe’s pants were gone too. Sal had suddenly acquired a taste for pants it would seem.

Adam came charging up from the west side. "What the hell...he walked off swearing like he was in a contest on how many swear words one could say in one breath. Adam would have won hands down.
"Just leave him be Joe, if you know what’s good for ya, stay completely still. He’s in a temper."
"Uh Hoss, I ain’t got no pants, no under drawers either. God only knows where Sal took off with them."
"Ask Adam, he could lend.....better not. well I got one pair, just belt it up till we can get you something else."
"Better hurry Joe."
With a sick look on his face Joe took Hoss up on his offer. The pants were ridiculously large for him, even with a belt. At least his butt wasn’t showing. Hoss was trying not to laugh, he really was...

They spent the next two days rounding up their string. Every time Adam looked Joe’s way he shook his head and started swearing again.
"Good thing Pa ain’t here big brother." Joe said after hearing his name associated with some pretty foul words.
"Good thing for you little brother. If Pa were here and he found out you jumped in a fast river without a look and that thoughtless act cost him two days of rounding up a string that should not have scattered, he would take that bare butt of yours and make short work of it."
“I -I meant about your cussing like you’d been doing." Joe said lifting his chin.

"You rather I was Pa for a few minutes, I could oblige you little brother." Adam said in his ‘big brother tone’

"No, cuss away big brother." Joe said shutting up for the rest of the night.
Joe went to his bedroll early. Hoss and Adam stayed up talking.

"Hey Adam what happened to our plan about Sal?"
I was on the ridge ready to ride down on her, but some brat decided to jump in the river and when I saw you had a rope on Joe, I went at her. She charged the string and here we are..."

"Yeah here we are two days late and a few horses shy of our pay."

"You mean we are short?"

"Yeah the roan and the black are still out there."

"I say we deliver and go back for them until we find them. At least we can get most of them safely delivered. I also say we leave Joe at the Bartlett’s until we round the two strays up."

"He needs some pants Adam, you got any spares?" Hoss said.
"If I had a whole wardrobe in my saddlebags, he can just wear what he is wearing to atone for his damn foolishness."

"Do ya or don’t ya?" Hoss said flatly.

"Actually I do. But I ain’t forking them over." Adam said walking off.

"Dang it Adam, you are a rock headed ..." he was talking to the wind.

The next morning there was no little brother to be found. Adam was livid. Hoss found a message from Joe scratched in the dirt. "Going after strays. Don’t worry."
Hoss blew out his breath in frustration. Now they had three strays; Joe and two horses to round up.
"Hoss I can’t just leave him out here. Stay with the herd, I need to find him." Adam said slapping his leg with his hat.

Joe couldn’t move. He climbed a ridge to get a better view of the valley hoping to see the two strays and where to start looking then he slipped between a rocky crag. His right foot on one side of the left foot on the other straddling a drop of 40 feet. His enormous pants barely on with the belt looped a few times he thought it could not be any worse. How wrong he was. His yells for help disturbed a large diamond back rattler sunning itself on a small ledge just below Joe’s straddled legs.
Adam heard Joe yelling his head off. Cochise was tied up near a rocky ridge. With pistol drawn, Adam yelled back for Joe trying to locate him. "Up here!" Joe yelled.
Climbing higher Adam’s breath hitched as he looked down a crag and there was his ballooned panted baby brother straddling an abyss between two rocks. "Oh Joe, hold on buddy. His little brother was about 15 feet below him.
Running down to his horse, he took up his rope. Climbing back up he looped around Joe’s waist, "I am going to haul you up." Adam said.
"Hurry Adam my legs are tired I can’t hold out like this." Joe said starting to slip. Rocks pebbled downward on the unhappy snake. Looking upward Joe grabbed the dangling rope, putting it around him. Just as the rope began to pull him upward the snake struck upward imbedding its fangs in the drooping material between Joe’s legs. Looking down, Joe was terrified. Not only was he straddling a 40 foot drop a huge serpent found purchase on his baggy pants and just hung there.

Adam was relieved and so astounded at one time. He grabbed Joe by the shirt only to find a pair of eyes below Joe’s crotch line staring up at him. "Don’t move, if he wiggles free he will strike again." Joe was horrified as Adam drew his revolver. "Careful ...Adam..wait.."
Without hesitation Adam shot the snake in the head.
"Take off the pants they have venom on them."
"A-Adam I really can’t move right now." Joe said closing his eyes trembling.
------------
By the time Joe and Adam made it back to Hoss, it was well after noontime. Adam gave Joe a pair of his pants and tossed Hoss’ pants at him. "There is snake venom on these he can’t wear em’.
Hoss held the pants up. "There is also a 6 inch hole in them, dagburnit!"
"It’s a long story Hoss, one I won’t be repeating right now." Adam said.
Well, while you two yahoos been off blowing holes in my pants, I saw Sal again. She is with the two strays Adam. Let’s get the three of them and be done with it." Hoss said still peeved.

"I am not risking the string again. We will come back for the two strays and I am sorry Hoss, if that crazy horse comes between us, I am going to crease her."
"No you ain’t Adam. No you ain’t." Hoss said standing toe to toe with him.
"Sorry Hoss but ..."
The next thing Adam knew he and Hoss were tussling on the ground. Their tempers and the frustrations of the last few days got the better of them.
Pushing Adam hard Hoss yelled at him. "I’ll kick you so far it will take a blood hound to find your scent."
"I’ll jump you so fast you would think I was a roadrunner on a rattler." Adam shoved back.
Hoss couldn’t help chuckling now.
Joe rolled his eyes. "You both would have to study to be half-wits. Let’s find those horses."
Hoss and Adam looked at each other then dunked their baby brother in the creek.

The two strays were not difficult to find, but every time they managed to get within 50 feet of them, Sal charged in different directions.

"That is it. Adam fumed. "Let’s get the string to the Bartlett Ranch. Tomorrow we can try again. I am hungry, tired and will shoot that nag once I get it in my sites."

Mr. Jebadiah Bartlett was out with his two crewmen when they spotted the Cartwright boys bringing up the string of horses.
Waving them on in, Jeb rode out to meet them.
"I expected you a few days ago. Have some trouble with rustlers?"

"No sir, not quite a rustler. We did have some trouble, in fact we still need to go out and get two more that got away because of that trouble." Adam said uneasily.

Mrs. Bartlett came out side on the porch. Seeing the boys, she waved them to come into the house.
They put the string in the corrals Mr. Bartlett arranged. "Nice looking horses. But the deal was for the 25 horses. Now that you are two horses short we have a problem don’t we." Jeb said.

Adam rubbed his forehead; he was getting a real big headache. "We will round up the two tomorrow, Mr. Bartlett."
Joe was telling tales at suppertime of the great snake caper, the horse thief that was actually a horse, entertaining the wide eyed Belinda Bartlett. Luckily for Joe, his brothers were too tired to listen to his renditions. Taking Belinda out for some night air, the two teenagers went toward the corral. Belinda loved horses just as much as Joe did.
Pointing to a gold tailed mare, Belinda stood on the bottom rail of the fence.
"That one there, now that is a the one I want. She has a lot of spirit."
Joe nodded but his eyes were focused on the two legged beauty at the moment.
"Joe, look over there...by the gates on the hill. It looks like your horse bandit is bringing the two strays in." Belinda said pointing.
"Come on, if we can get her into the corral we can save Hoss and Adam a whole lot of trouble. We will be hero’s. They might even stop being mad at me." Joe said.

"I’ll help you." Belinda said.

"You get the corral gate ready to open then when I give the signal swing it open and I’ll rush the three in from behind.”

"Maybe we ought to get your brothers..."

"Come on Belinda we can do it." Joe said.

Getting a rope, Joe snuck up the hill behind the three horses. Sal led the two stray horses ever nearer to the corral. Joe could not believe his luck; this was going to be easy.
Within 20 feet of the gate Joe gave Belinda the signal to open it up. She swung it wide, too wide.
The string started to head for the opening.
"Belinda close it quick!" The herd pushed the gate even wider. The herd stampeded out of the corral scattering to the wind. The two strays scattered also, tails high.
Hoss, Adam and Mr. Bartlett ran out from the house.
All Adam saw was an empty corral and his string of horses bucking and running over the hills this way and that.

JOSEPH !!!! Adam yelled
Joe glanced at Belinda with a sickly look on his face. She was still hanging on the corral gate looking as guilty as Joe was.
BELINDA ANNE BARTLETT!!! Mr. Bartlett roared.

"Yes papa, it was an accident we almost caught that...." She closed her mouth as soon as she saw her father’s scowl.
"I don’t know what to say Mr. Bartlett. I thought we could corral the two strays and that Sally all at once, but the herd pushed the gate open wider.” Joe said quickly.

"Adam, guess we are horse rounding tomorrow." Mr. Bartlett said.
"Mr. Bartlett, I don’t think we can do that. We are days over due now. In the first time I can remember the Cartwright’s could not fill a contract."
Joe looked crushed, he let his family down.
"Adam we can do this, give it one more day." Hoss said looking at his little brother.
"Well, alright Hoss one more day." Adam said.
"Joe you are to stay here."
"But Adam..."
Adam took Joe by the elbow walking him out of earshot of their hosts.
"You heard me; you won’t disobey me on this. If you do, believe me the ride home is going to a painful one. Got me?"
"Yeah, got it." Joe said quietly.

The next morning, everyone left for the roundup, everyone except Joe and Belinda. They stayed behind with Mrs. Bartlett.
"Joe would you do me a great favor, I need the wood box filled, my husband left too early to think about that this morning."
"Be glad to Mrs. Bartlett." Joe said earnestly.
Outside he had a armful of wood walking toward the Bartlett kitchen. A horses nicker to his left brought his eyes toward the corral. There munching on the spread of hay in the corral was the string, the whole string and Sally. She was bobbing her head up and down as if saying hello. Careful not to startle the herd he walked slowly toward the gate. Joe closed the gate carefully.
Sally stood still looking right at him. Joe thought he saw sadness there.
"You’re right girl." Putting a rope around her neck he led her out and removed the rope carefully. "Go on, you’re free to go."

Adam, Hoss and Mr. Bartlett rode over the hill. The three were astounded that the whole string was calmly munching away in the corral.
Stopping at the corral Adam and Hoss slapped Joe on the shoulders.
"Joe I won’t even ask." Adam said.

"This is great Joe, what’s wrong you looked a little put out."
"She brought ‘em back alright. I even let her go...and you know how she ‘repaid me?"

"No little brother we don’t." Adam said.

"She trotted off but before she left, she bit me right on my...bu...right there!!! Joe said pointing to his ripped britches bottom with a nice size rip on one cheek.

"Bet that made you mad little brother." Hoss said with a snicker.
"Well look at him Hoss, he is so mad he looks like he could bite himself." Adam said winking at Hoss.
"Yeah, he is madder than a rained-on rooster." Hoss said chuckling.
"Don’t start that again. That horse was crazy mean!!" Joe yelled.
"Meaner than a rattler on a hot skillet." Adam said.
"I’ll be crazy if I ever tell the two of you anything again." Joe said.

The End

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